The other day, I saw a post about someone wondering why their passing transmasc friend would continue to use the women's bathroom. To me, the reason seemed obvious, but I couldn't articulate it in a clear and concise way. However, while reading Ivan Coyote's Tomboy Survival Guide, I found a quote that sums it up perfectly
"Public bathrooms and change rooms for me have always been a choice between very uncomfortable and potentially unsafe."
Anyway, I hope this helps the other people who were also confused by this person's friend's choice. Also, it goes to show why gender-neutral bathrooms are important.
She asked for B’s contact info by the end and they were so buddy-ish, it was cute. (I can hear B right now, telling me that being butch buddies isn’t cute!) And then, because I’m obsessed with pictures and such, I asked them to pose together for me. And so they did.
Writer and performer Ivan Coyote has spent decades on the road, telling stories around the world. For years, Ivan has kept a file of the most special communications received from readers and audience members--letters, Facebook messages, emails, soggy handwritten notes tucked under the windshield wiper of their truck after a gig. Then came Spring, 2020, and, like artists everywhere, Coyote was grounded by the pandemic, all their planned events cancelled. The energy of a live audience, a performer's lifeblood, was suddenly gone. But with this loss came an opportunity for a different kind of connection. Those letters that had long piled up could finally begin to be answered.
Care Of combines the most powerful of these letters with Ivan's responses, creating a body of correspondence of startling intimacy, breathtaking beauty, and heartbreaking honesty and openness. Taken together, they become an affirming and joyous reflection on many of the themes central to Coyote's celebrated work--compassion and empathy, family fragility, non-binary and Trans identity, and the unending beauty of simply being alive, a giant love letter to the idea of human connection, and the power of truly listening to each other.
Mod opinion: I haven't read this letter collection yet, but I'd like to check it out at some point.