#iwrite words

[iwrite-sinsandtragedies]

I might have had too much fun with this but, oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Background below:

[CW: touching on subjects of depression, anxiety, PTSD, abuse, and death]

Song: Madilyn Mie - The Milk Carton

Adopted at the "late" age of 6, China (or Ai, as she likes to be called) was a troublesome case amongst her peers. She had returned from several failed adoptions throughout her stay at her local orphanage and was known to have a wild and deviant streak about her that left most adults scrambling in her wake.

She doesn't know why Ms. Nolani decided to pick her out of all of the other, much better behaved, kids that were there that day but - Ai couldn't deny that she definitely liked how safe she felt in her new mommy's arms. There was something about those warm golden eyes that just made her feel safe.

That doesn't mean Ai ever made it easy for her new moms, of course.

It was rough for everyone, at first. China and Elizabeth didn't innitially get along and even fought and argued quite frequently, in the beginning. Mom, in particular, struggled a lot with Ai's standoffish behaviour towards her, always sad to see that whatever was so appealing about her Mommy didn't seem to translate over to a liking of her Mom as well. China was sure it was only a matter of time before this family also sent her away... but, surprisingly, they never did.

Instead, they put the effort in and took their time to get to know her and learn about her and what exactly made her so obstinate with them. They gave her space, when she needed it, and let her talk out her frustrations. Elizabeth worked hard to not fight with her all the time and, eventually, China found herself trying to do the same in return. She even started to laugh at Mom's jokes, not just because sometimes they were actually funny but, also because she liked how happy it made her Mom and Mommy when they were getting along - it made her feel good, somehow...

But, there was still a lot of things that China never talked about. Pamela and Nolani both knew that Ai's parents were dead, they even knew that they had died in a car accident and Ai had some scars from that, both physically and mentally. What they didn't know, however, was that there was much more to the story than a simple crash.

Truthfully, even China doesn't know everything, though she remembers it clearly enough: The sound of breaking glass, her father talking to two scary men. Her mother grabbing her and running up the stairs, her brother trying not to cry in her arms - face shadowed by the closet blinds... Her mother whispered, told them to be quiet, so the 'burglars' wouldn't find them (somehow, Ai, knew that wasn't what they were). She heard her dad scream, then scuffling... silence and then motion - they were out the door- running- in a car- her dad was swearing and it made her flinch because it was never good when he sweared and the car lurched, her little brother gasped so she reached out and held his hand and- so many lights flew by her eyes... for an endless moment, the world was spinning... and when she woke up her family was... and she was just there... and somehow she felt so guilty for that... for just being- Alive...

She never tells them - never tells anyone - the whole story or how it makes her feel (like she was somehow to blame, like she should be punished in some way). She pretends like she doesn't remember it at all actually, and China thinks she must be a very good liar because no one ever seems to think there's more to her story than being a terrible little brat. If Mom and Mommy are sometimes so gentle with her, she doesn't think too much of it (if she thinks too much then she might cry) she just keeps toeing the line, waiting for them to toss her aside.

And then she meets Mr. Holden and somehow it feels like coming home. She's not sure why but, she likes him - she trusts him.

She puts effort into finding Cove. When they meet on the hill, she knows she wants to take care of him - she takes his hand.

The two of them quickly become inseperable, after that. Mostly because China puts in the extra effort to be Cove's friend. She's not really sure why, at first, but the two of them just seem to click. He smiles and she smiles - She smiles and he smiles back. She likes it.

Of course, her bad behaviours don't just magically fix. That becomes abundantly clear to everyone when the two children run away - and that is just the peak of the chaos that these two little rascles happen to manage that very first summer.

Despite that though... despite the worries and the mischief and the learning, things do actually get better. Cliff has no idea what a good influence he and his son have become on the wild little girl from across the street - they have no idea what a turn around they've managed to spark, how they've made all her smiles more real and her heart more open to love. Pam and 'Lani couldn't be more greatful if they tried and so, it's together that they all find the balance that was so desperately missing in each of their lives.

From a lost little boy and struggling father, to frazzled mothers and fiery daughters - that first summer they find themselves together is also the first step they take, towards brighter beginnings.

[iwrite-sinsandtragedies]

@a3hl3y Sooomething tells me you used the blue feather sticker for this one, because I'm getting absolute blue jay vibes 👀

Sorry! I replied in the post but then wanted to add more so-

Micha's sticker is the butterfly🦋actually!😂Blue butterflies specifically but butterflies non the less! I am sad that you can't change sticker colours in the game, because I really do love the blue of that feather so much, but the meaning behind the butterfly meant much more to me than the colour itself when I could just stick the colour on his person a whole bunch, like you've seen lol. So good guess!

The thing is, Michael is actually based off a very old oc of mine from.. before my highschool days even! So a lot of his little nuances have been parented down from that original character design and personality - which means I'm more adapting him to the game than actually letting the game shape him. I chose the butterfly for a lot of reasons; from it's associations with mental health, love, dreams, beauty, transformation, and rebirth to the specific exotic-ness and rareness of the blue butterfly itself. It's also why his last name ended up being Hope, actually! For the luck of blue and the promise of a joyful future.

I did go and look up blue jays though! You mentioning it made me really curious, because I do actually really love blue jays but had never considered relating them to Micha in particular. There's definitely some crossover in some themes! Specifically with Steller's Jay (which just so happen to be my favourite jay even!)

The one quote in particular that I really liked was:

“He is the message of hope in disrepair and the will to live. The jay is willing to teach you fearlessness, adaptability and survival but you must be willing to follow its lead.”

It's a very nice quote, and really fits Michael's personality, as a character that often takes the lead and doesn't shy away from a challenge, as one who is willing to learn and adapt and help others also succeed. The 'will to live' bit also really struck me, as Michael is supposed to have a chronic illness, but he's very stubborn about pushing past it and not letting it stop him from all that he wants to achieve. When I first started fleshing out Micha, I instantly knew he was a guardian type - that he was going to be protective of his sister, China, even if she was the older one!😂That quickly translated to being protective of Tamarack too💕He's a very sweet boy, even if he is kind of intimidating to people he's just met!

Anyways, I'm getting rambly! Let's just boil it down to: I might start interchanging the blue feather and the butterfly a little bit! You've convinced me of the merits to the association, so thank you!

I know Micha will always be my Beautiful Butterfly Boy, but he may also sometimes be my Brave Blue Jay Boy now too 💖

[iwrite-sinsandtragedies]

coughing fit woke me up and now the brain is being creative so its started playing around with the concept of Ai's long lost brother who she doesn't know survived the car crash when they were kids.

I'm thinking something along the lines of his injuries were more severe / needed specialised sergery, something like that. Either way, he got flown out to another hospital and Ai went to a different place. They both survived but since they were orphans, they simply got put into the system seperately and never knew the other one survived (don't tell me that shit doesn't happen, I was in the system and those fuckers always want to seperate kids asap). Several years later, he's living his life wherever else, etc etc. I'm mainly looking at this from the OLBA universe at the moment, so maybe I'll play him as my MC when FA comes out, it'd be kind of tragically funny if the two of them were only that far away and even ended up knowing some of the same people! Would also make the chance of a reunion veary reasonable, if Ai can ever convince Baxter to show her the Golden Grove 😂

His name is Michael, by the way - after the angel because he was 'just like one' (his mom was very sentimental okay, why do you think she named her daughter China - it was bc of her blue eyes). He's younger than Ai, maybe by a year or so, but he's also taller than her (not hard, Ai's a shrimp). I'm thinking he'll have some pretty severe scarring in various places from the crash - mainly body, not too much on the face - he's got a pretty charming face and a very pleasant voice (he and Baxter have a surprising amount in common) He's a bit dense in some ways socially, but fairly sweet. Definitely an intellectual. I'll have to think more on it at a later date.