graveyard: mycharacter will visit your characters grave.
he hesitates, feet stopping in thepath he follows in the graveyard. a shuddering breath part his lips. jongsukalways stops there. a few steps and he’s in front of her grave and yet, he cannever bring himself to stand before her without some hesitation. there’s nobody on the coffin he buried there and still, it was the greatest kind ofrepresentation he has of her.
jongsuk leaves her grave to be thelast one he pays his respects to. he always does so. he starts off with thelater head of the circle’s grave. he never held much affection for him, butjongsuk isn’t capable of holding grudges either. would it make sense to holdgrudges against dead people? then, he moves to the apprentice. jongsuk wasn’tacquainted with him, but he leaves a single rose on his grave, too. he spendssome time walking until he finds jei’s mother grave and beside it, her lover’sgrave. at least, that’s what jongsuk understood from the whole situation. healways leaves roses between the two graves. he remembers finding them lifeless,laying side by side with a blood bathed rose between them.
but he never found jei. god knowshow much he looked for her, but he just couldn’t find her anywhere. god knows how much he looked forher, but he just couldn’t find her anywhere. a part of him couldn’t believe shewas gone – that she was dead. but the realism had to win and after four years,he has little hope of finding his lost sister. his guilt hasn’t gotten any lessstrong, however. it still sickens him to his stomach. it still brings such hateand bitterness that feels foreign to him. it still keeps him awake at nightwith tears on his face. jongsuk wonders – what if he got there sooner? what ifhe never left? what if he tried to fight jei’s father right there? he would probably dead by now. butit seemed better than to live like this.
“baby jei” he says when he finallygets to stand before her grave. a sad smile spread through his lips and heleans in to put the flowers in his hands on the empty grave. “it’s been sometime, right? i brought your favorite flowers, white lilies.” jongsuk pauses. it’shard to keep a straight face when his heart seems to be breaking at every word.“have you forgiven me, yet? because i didn’t.” – “i... should’ve come to youearlier, right? i still think about that. i still think that i… i should’ve beenthe one to die that night. not you. not your mother.” he cries. it’s been fouryears, but he cries. “i failed you. i’m so sorry. i am so, so, so sorry, jei. icouldn’t protect you and your mother…”
his sobs are the only thing you canhear in the empty graveyard. jongsuk doesn’t know for how long he stood there,weeping in front of a bodiless coffin. when his tears calm down, he takes adeep breath and uses his hands to wipe the hot trails of water from his face. “i’llcome back for you, baby jei. i hope that… wherever you are right now, you’re inpeace” he whispers. “i love you, jei”and saying that, he hesitates again.a few steps and he’s away from her grave and yet, he can never bring himself totake them without some hesitation.
