I wish I could express my hatred properly for Henry Laurens. Why? Because he nicknamed all of his children.
Why is that so bad you ask?
John is ONE SYLLABLE. It is a one syllable fucking NAME why on GODS NAME WOULD YOU NEED A NICKNAME.
Maybe he wanted to call his son something fun? Like ‘sport’ or, fuck, whatever dads call their kids.
Yes. I see you, I hear you, you’re valid. Your thoughts make sense. Henry Laurens thoughts? Not so much because his nickname of choice was another GENERIC ASS SINGLE SYLLABLE NAME. So generic it physically HURTS me.
Jack.
Jack.
Jack.
Was ‘John’ just too saucy and wild of a name for you Henry? JOHN? Did you have naming regret and go, “damn, I really actually wanted a son named Jack.” MY DUDE YOU HAD LIKE 13 KIDS YOU COULD HAVE NAMED ANY OF THEM JACK. You had two sons named Henry why the FUCK didn’t you name one Jack instead??? Didn’t Polly want a boys name at some point too (who, may I add, has a real name of mArY FFS)? Let them have the name Jack!
I know if there’s a hell, that this man is probably there for his horrifying role on perpetuating slavery and profiting from the slave trade. But even as he’s tortured for real crimes, I hope somewhere in his shoe there’s a fucking splinter he can never get out for the SHEER NIGHTMARE this man has caused me in trying to understand the history of his children. I’m not good at names and it’s one of the main reasons I have always hated learning history- because you have to remember who is who and how they impacted people and JOHN/JACK MARRIED TO MARTHA, but not PATSY/MARTHA WHO’S ACTUALLY HIS SISTER-
@foryourownbosom you and your Laurens family tree map is the only reason I can keep track of any of these fuckers, and deserve nothing but praise and respect. Henry Laurens I hope you choke on a rock.
