the month, where change begins. ps: my thumb is fine, it all healed and is looking alright again.
1. listen when i'm gone by Jack Powell
"you don't undersand how much it hurts, to see you with someone new"
it started off as a sad month. on the first day of the month, at 4:42am I've learned, that technoblade has passed away. I was in disbelief until like 9am the same day. work was the hardest thing to do. caring about others and giving them my full attention while I felt like I've just broken into a thousand pieces... it was rough. right after work I blasted this song and it helped a little, but it was still a huge thing to start feeling like I'm okay again.
2. Ancient Rome by Kayla Seeber
I didn't think this song would come out this year. I've spent so long waiting for it and was real happy when it dropped. beautiful song, beautiful message. time to manifest someone to not feel like an idiot listening to it all the time by myself.
I've just spoken to my therapist about this constant anxiety I have while using public transport and explained to her that I can't think about anything else but people wanting to hurt me while I'm on the road. she was like "do something that gets you out of this mindset, like listen to music" and I laughed so hard because I listen to music 24/7. and this is the type of music that my brain can handle while travelling so I'm in a murderous mood all the time, which doesn't really help the case, lol.
4. Queerball by McCafferty
let's all wave to the good old Queerball. no showing spotify wrapped for the family & friends this year either.
5. Family Line by Conan Gray
this song feels like it's written just for me. it hurts my soul to listen to it as I'm not really done with processing all the traumas I've been through as a kid. it's an endless list it seems like. so any time I listen to this gem, I'm feeling so much... and that's what I love about music the most.
6. BLENDER by 5 Seconds of Summer
I'M IN AN ENOTIONAL BLENDER.
and I'll never forgive 5sos because they dropped this gem after our shows and never played it live. :( I still think about that concert a lot, it feels like I'm living the dream life of my teenager self and that's a lovely thing if you ask me.
7. Trauma by zeinxd, Soufly
lol the title says it all. the song has such an unique style. the instruments, the melody, it all is such a great experience. it reminds me of the songs I used to play minecraft to non-stop like 2 years ago. I miss those times.
yaaay "Obsessed" man is back. I loved that song so much that I listen to every single one of his new songs. this one made me fall in love instantly. rain in itself is a topic I struggle a lot with (sensory issues) and I love listening to songs about it! not to mention the other lyrics and deeper meaning in the song.
9. Angels Don't Fuck by Insincere
an old favourite. I love this song so much. I was reading my older monthly lists when I remembered this song and it's stuck in my head again. great help to fall asleep on rougher nights.
10. So My Darling - Acoustic by Rachel Chinouriri
tiktok wins again. this is one of the songs I've started to listen to at the beginning of the month. so lovely, so full of emotion. it's beautiful.
+1 is Matilda by Harry Styles
I went to listen to the HS concert and made some new friends, stared at the beautiful moon & cried a bit.
this song made me cry multiple times when I'm listening to it as it's just so emotional - at least for me.
