I am constantly editing/changing these, most of them aren't really in a coherent order yet and some of them are currently ridiculously short because I haven't really found the right niche of songs for their dynamic yet, but here you go ^.^ (also I will be making and linking a masterpost for each one explaining why I chose all the songs, but if anyone ever has any song recommendations or wants to know about a specific song that's already on there, feel free to send me an ask!)
unpopular opinion but jacques/esme is actually a pretty underrated and intriguing ship and probably the only m/f jacques ship i’m interested in. like, jacques/esme complicates jacques’ character in a way other ships rarely could. though jacques/olaf was a firefighter/firestarter ship too but the jacques in that relationship is just kind of misguided (about what kind of person olaf was) and overly optimistic and probably nostalgic about their past teenage fling and guilty over his friends’ involvement in olaf’s parents murder. that makes him misguidedly thinks olaf was still redeemable and makes me want to scream about how he’s going to get killed by his optimism one day wait he already did and while i enjoyed that, i think jacques/esme has more potential in a different side of jacques. esme didn’t canonically have the opera night parents’ drama like olaf did and seemed to just enjoy being in which makes the writer has to give jacques a reason that he would want to get involved with esme, a side of her he knew that nobody else did and that adds more backstories to both characters. idk i just want him to have some unseen side or be a little more problematic than the all-too-noble volunteer he seemed to be. like we did see how he absolutely believed in vfd’s child recruiting thing despite all the problematic-ness of it (wth is the correct noun here) and i appreciate the show for showing that but i really want more
(tho i do think jacques/bertrand would be interesting in different ways like “both as poster child of vfd perfect volunteer but nothing’s as simple as it seems” kind of way, and jacques/jerome is pretty nice too)
(a month ago i haven’t even thought of this ship but now ... yeah ... i blame @virginian-wolfsnake for getting me addicted with this pairing ...)
“It's the tattoo!” a VFD citizen pointed at Olaf’s left ankle and cried out.
With a roar, Olaf ran back to his motorcycle and, with another roar, he started the engine. “Hop aboard, Esme!” he called out to her.
“It's Esme Squalor!” an Elder cried. “She used to be the city's sixth most successful financial advisor, but now she works with Count Olaf!”
“I heard the two of them are dating!” Mrs. Morrow said in horror.
“We are dating!” Esme cried in triumph. She climbed aboard Olaf's motorcycle and tossed her helmet to the ground in an overdramatic fashion, looking as in as ever, if she could say so herself.
“So long, Baudelaires!” Olaf called, zooming through the angry crowd. “I'll find you again, if the authorities don't find you first!”
Esme cackled as the motorcycle roared off across the flat landscape at more than twice the legal speed limit, but somehow, a similar scene from ages ago suddenly flew through her mind.
“Is this the fastest you can go, Snicket?” she teased, tauntingly, as the motorcycle sped forward under the bright moonlight.
Jacques rolled his eyes, refusing to rise to the bait, “There’s something called safety, Esme, ever heard of it?”
“Yeah,” she scoffed, “last time I heard, it was out.”
Her lips twitched slightly in distaste at the memory, not sure why it suddenly came to mind after so many years. Maybe it was because they’d just killed Jacques. Still, it wasn’t as if she still cared about him – no, scratch that – it wasn’t as if she’d ever cared about him in the first place.
She needed to get him out of her mind.
“Faster,” Esme hissed into Olaf’s ears, when she realized he was gradually slowing down because the VFD village was far away enough.
Confusion seeped through his voice, “They won’t catch up with us from this distance—”
“I said faster,” she snarled. She craved for the speed -- lightning speed was in -- it was always in. If Olaf kept this slow pace that wasn’t enough to give her the thrill of being on a motorcycle, it was going to remind her of that idiot Snicket.
He hesitated for the briefest moment before shrugging, “As you wish,” and accelerated.
Leaving the village and her memories of Jacques Snicket far, far behind.
Esmé loses her voice. Georgina’s feelings. lazy mornings, interrupted. 👀👀
Ah! Excellent choices!!! (Here is the link to the title list in case anyone wants to send more)
Esmé Loses Her Voice
Okay so I do genuinely love this concept BUT also I don't think it'll ever get finished. It was in fact this very fic that make me realise I am apparently incapable of writing fun / silly stories because the entire concept was just "Esmé loses her voice and, being Esmé, makes it everyone else's problem" with a healthy helping of Eswell content for the funsies. And yet. I could barely exceed 250 words. I just- I don't know how to go on from here. So the snippet below the cut is literally everything I've got
P.S. if anyone can teach me how to write silly stories, I would be immensely and eternally grateful. I think they're so neat
Georgina's Feelings
Another Eswell one!! I started this months ago and honestly completely forgot about it until writing out that title list, but I do genuinely want to finish it because it's FUN. Basically, Esmé and Georgina have an established arrangement, and the entire fic is just Georgina resolutely Not Having Romantic Feelings for Esmé despite... the obvious. Very fun times. The snippet for this one is also everything I've got, but it's split into two sections - a paragraph from very near the start, and the ending of the whole thing (separated by one of these — bad boys for ease of reading)
Lazy Mornings, Interrupted
I would like to say that I am very impressed that, in a list of 20 titles, you managed to pick the three shortest WIPs in my collection, by quite a significant margin. I know I've already answered some of the others, but still. Anyway, once again this one has barely anything to it at the moment, though I do thoroughly intend to finish it, and the snippet is once again literally everything I have so far. This is the one and only Jacquesmé fic I've ever attempted (though I do want to write more of them, because their dynamic fascinates me), and the snippet I've included is from towards the end of the fic. Basically, Jacques and Esmé have been casually seeing each other for some time, but have hidden it from the rest of the sugar bowl gen because, even though the schism hasn't officially happened yet, tensions are rising between the two future-sides. Also Esmé and Lemony have always hated each other, and her dating his brother would cause unnecessary drama. However, this fic takes place when Lemony comes back to the shared Snicket apartment one morning when he and Kit were both supposed to be away, and Esmé has spent the night. He almost catches her there, and after he leaves, she and Jacques have a conversation about the future of their relationship, ending with the snippet below the cut (though I would still like to add some more to the end of it as well just to round out the fic better. If I ever do finish it, that is)
Esmé Loses Her Voice:
Esmé was pouting. This wasn’t at all an unusual occurrence in and of itself; in fact, it was her go-to expression of displeasure. What was unusual was that she’d been pouting silently, for the last forty-five minutes – something that was entirely out of character, and entirely out of her control if she wanted to have her voice back for the imminent auction she’d been asked to not only attend, but to host. Something Georgina had been hearing about, non-stop, for the last six months.
Safe to say, this weekend had promised a welcome break.
Until Esmé had actually arrived, of course. Georgina often insisted that she despised her lover’s endless chatter, rolling her eyes and feigning disinterest – but she was well aware that it was, at least in part, an act. The truth was, Esmé’s voice could make anything sound interesting, no matter how tedious the topic, and Georgina was rapidly discovering just how silent her home could be in the absence of that strangely entrancing voice. When she was alone, she relished the silence. But somehow, knowing Esmé was present and wanted to talk made it feel almost… oppressive.
She looked up from her desk and found that Esmé’s pout was now directed at her, and entirely failed to stifle her smile (mostly because she didn’t actually try to). For a woman that could strike fear and awe into the hearts of half the City, she shouldn’t have been able to look so… well. So adorable.
“Yes, sweetheart? Did you say something?” the pout turned into a full blown glare, and Georgina laughed.
Georgina's Feelings:
Georgina swirled the rather unnatural-looking cocktail in her glass and watched as it sparkled in the orange-tinted lights of the ballroom, pointedly refusing to look up when Esmé’s laugh cut through the general murmur of music and conversation. Her ears, however, were clearly not as well trained as her other senses, and focused in on the sound of her lover’s voice, headless of the distance between them. Her mind conjured up melodic comparisons, conjuring quotes from half-forgotten poems she’d read in her youth. I love to hear her speak, yet well I know her mind began, unbidden, reciting a sonnet she had been particularly enamoured with as a young girl, that music hath a far more pleasing sound. She realised Esmé was looking at her before she could draw the next line out of her hazy memory – and around the same time her mind finally registered that she was looking at Esmé. And had been for some time, judging by the self-satisfied smile playing across the other woman’s lips. This is why you don’t drink at parties. She chastised herself for her lack of self-control, even as she allowed her eyes to wander over Esmé’s body, barely concealed by her dress. Perhaps there are some advantages to these parties, she mused.
—
Georgina had always thought ‘love’ to be a ridiculous word, and a pointless emotion. Love is what makes the strong weak and the intelligent foolish. Love is what inspires rash decisions and impossible promises. Love is how other people get to you, creating a crack in Georgina’s otherwise ironclad defences. Love is what she has spent a great deal of her life avoiding, crushing into a tiny metaphorical bottle and tucking away deep in the recesses of her heart. Love is an emotion for lesser people, she is certain. So what she feels for Esmé Squalor is not love.
It can’t be.
Lazy Mornings, Interrupted:
“Mmm… well, luckily, I happen to be very,” she squeezed her thighs around his hips, rocking against him once to emphasise the word, and his knuckles whitened as he gripped her waist even tighter, “close with the fashion columnist for The Daily Punctilio, and I have it on very good authority that he’s planning on taking his incredibly stylish girlfriend to that exact location this very evening.”
“Girlfriend?”
“That’s what I’ve heard.” Her voice was deliberately neutral and she shrugged one shoulder as she said it, the picture of a casual statement. Even if it was the first time either of them had defined their relationship – and he really could call it a relationship now, because the infamously commitment-avoidant Esmé Squalor had deigned to describe herself as his girlfriend.
Jacques couldn’t contain his smile, even as he tried to play along with her game. “And I’m sure, since he’s taking his stylish and beautiful girlfriend,” and he was almost certain he wasn’t imagining the way she relaxed a little against him as he said it, or just how natural the word felt on his tongue, “to this restaurant, it should be appearing in this morning’s edition of his column, just so everyone else in the City is caught up with just how In it is, yes?”
