#jammering on

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Really Annoying To Me that minimum half of the people making Knights of Guinevere meta comments are all essentially saying 'It's about Disney Bad, you can tell because of the aesthetics and what I've decided are intended to be references to what happened with The Owl House.' And to be a little fair, maybe it's just that I tend to go 'fuck it, I'm out' when I see that take or takes too close to it for comfort too many times too close to one another and therefore don't necessarily have the full sample size, but like OH MY GOOOODDDDDDDDDD this is not a fucking SPITE PIECE, you can't just go 'The show is about how Disney is Evil. I've discovered the thematic core of the work.'

I get it, there are clear references and parallels to everyone's beloathed image obsessed megacorporation, definitely drawn in part from the personal experiences of the creators, but like you can dig deeper! You can get more specific and interesting than 'This is like thing I already believe and understand to be true.' Like does the shit about class and beauty and disability and sickness and abuse and the intersection of all those things plastered ALL OVER this pilot mean NOTHING to you? Watch it again without the Disney Goggles, what do you see? What do you think? What do you find when you don't look at it like a catharsis for your personal stance against a specific real world corporation?

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My Season 1 Kyana drawing re-circulating has made me remember I didn't actually transfer every RWD drawing I did on Twitter over to Tumblr, but I lost track of which were where and now I'm like aaaaaa this is why I kept them all on the same social media and then when I joined the Discord I mostly kept my RWD art there, crossposting is suuuuch a chore guh-

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So like I just finished playing through Amanda the Adventurer 3 for the first time and like I'm just thinking about... how much of this game is about grief.

Not just grieving others but grieving yourself. Not just grieving things you had but grieving things you can never have. Not just grieving the way your world used to be, but grieving the present state and how it could be if only it could've gone differently.

Rebecca lost her father and her childhood and over a decade of time. The whole game was set in motion by the mid-investigation death of Riley's aunt. The whole demonic cult at the core of the corporation is obsessed with going backwards. 'Wooly' literally cannot look at what he's lost in the face because to grieve what he relinquished is to admit he was wrong and admit there's no going back and there's no becoming 'Amanda's best friend'. And this highly puzzle/solution/mystery based game, narratively, has a very open ending. Because grief has no solutions that end in a confirmational sound effect.

"I'll never be whole again. Let's get out of here."

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I've only finished volume 1 of Murderbot Diaries and 1: *unwell over gotdamn book*, and also 2: I hazarded the tag despite knowing I'd surely catch some stray spoilers but like I'm enthralled by the vague concept of Three whoever this bitch is. I love them already. I have little to no information on them aside from base character premise but Oh My Gosh I could die this is exactly the kind of character I'd die to get to know yes yes yes yes yes!

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Thinking about Iron Lung. And like..... the way things bigger than you will change you, and you cannot just change them through force of will. You can't change them without sacrifices- some of them you can'tchange even WITH sacrifices. You can't change them without other people. And oh how unfair that is, because something bigger than you will affect you wether you're even aware it exists or not. Wether it's even aware you exist. Something bigger than you can destroy you no matter how determined or clever or violent or gentle or assertive or deferrent you are. Because you are small and care about small things. You are ignorant. Is god also ignorant? It is impossible for you to know.

It's bigger than me; I don't matter. It's bigger than me; it can't be helped. It's bigger than me; I'm powerless in the face of this. It's bigger than me; I must put myself aside. It's bigger than me; I'm afraid. It's bigger than me; I can't afford mistakes. It's bigger than me; I know nothing. It's bigger than me; I am too desperate and pathetic to truly face it.

It's bigger than me. And then he chooses to trust that he can be part of something bigger than him, even if he doesn't survive to see what the soil his body becomes will grow.

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The idea of a dying company town but extended into being a company PLANET in Knights of Guinevere like do you see it DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN????

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I can't be doing this. I cannot be thinking about Murderbot while listening to the playlist I made for my wedding reception, I cannot do this, I can't be down bad for fucking Murderbot, I cannot I CANNOT-