#javilon amboise

[lloydfrontera]

... okay so i ended up leaning into the otome manhwa cover influence yes but it's not my fault they literally fit the love triangle clichés-

[lloydfrontera]

i was such a fool for believeing javilon could be anything but the most pathetic emo loser you've ever seen in your life. there was literally never any other choice that man is not sleeping he's not eating he hasn't seen the light of the sun for any second longer than necessary him being constsntly in shadows isn't him being edgy its about survival he didn't choose the chuuni life that's just what happens to you when a migraine lasts longer than two hours

[lloydfrontera]

feeling unwell about these two today :)

[lloydfrontera]

the problem with javilon is that if you suffer from chronic migraines when you see him go full yandere on the man that got rid of them for the first time in his life a part of you just Gets It. like. maybe i wouldn't go that far personally but. yeah i can see it. i get it.

[lloydfrontera]

the second most tragic part about javilon is that he killed his abusive father and it wasn't even cathartic. it just traumatized him further and had him labeled as dangerous and unstable for the rest of his life. he was a child and he was in pain and he killed the man who tortured him every night and it got him nothing but to be treated like a rabid dog too dangerous to be put down when he didn't even mean to. and then he spent the next three decades making sure no one would ever believe the truth because he was terrified of being vulnerable like that ever again

[lloydfrontera]

i have a migraine so i'm once again thinking about post migraine javilon who is so sleepy after the pain stops he drags rakiel into bed so he can cling to him like an octopus while he has the comfiest five hour nap of his life. he wakes up with the the blanket folds stamped on his entire face and there's a little drool on the pillow and rakiel's hair. he cannot remember his own name for like a solid thirty seconds after he opens his eyes. it's the best sleep he's had in thirty years. this wouldn't have fixed him but he would've killed like 30% less people about it at least.

[lloydfrontera]

“…And can you specify what exactly this ‘glory and joy’ of yours is?” ‘Of course. Rakiel.’ “…” ‘You called him military medical officer Rihan, didn’t you?’ “…Yes.” ‘I will keep him by my side. I will live eternity together with him. You can partake in that joy. How does that sound?’ “…” ‘Will you rot away and disappear in this cold prison, stripped of all future and hope? Or will you, even with only a faint self and a clear body, keep him by your side forever?’ “…” ‘Easy choice, isn’t it?’ "... Keep your word."

my toxic trait is that i do find javilon being willing to become a faint shadow of himself just to be with rakiel forever extremely hot of him. like. i do think it's very romantic that when the choice is to give up everything that made him himself except his desire for rakiel or never seeing him again it's not even really a choice. sorry.

[lloydfrontera]

on the same note as me thinking rakiel should've just seduced javilon into being his attack dog i think javilon should've tried to baby trap rakiel into staying with him. would it have worked? probably not. but i would like to see it.