#jayhal

[clanslist]

Jay and Hal <3 (I headcanon that Russetfur is their daughter and there could've been more to that litter or another one or something)

Aside from Russetfur (born as Red), they had...

White - A white tom with black van markings and amber eyes.

Blue - A pale tortoiseshell she-cat with gray eyes.

[salmon2245]

Here I present all my jayhal shit

Dose anyone even ship them?????

Warning: mpreg mentioned

[m00nslippers]

Everyone Crushing on Jason 2

Today is my birthday, and I’ve got a present for you all! It’s chapter 2 of the ECoJ AU! Later tonight I’m going to post the first on AO3 under the title Jay-Crazy, then a few days later I will add this chapter tow it and then all future chapters will be simulposted. So I hope you all enjoy this slice of complete crack.

If you missed Chapter 1, it’s here.

- - -

“Holy shit, who is that?” Hal demanded of Barry, jabbing his friend with his elbow to get the hero's attention.

They were in the Watchtower Satellite after routing a poorly orchestrated alien invasion attempt. Even compared to the usual morons that thought they could conquer Earth despite it's super-powered protectors, it had been especially inept and the whole endeavor had barely made it to the ground. Martian Manhunter, Cyborg and the Watchtower scanners had detected the alien vessels quickly and, once hostility was ascertained, the satellite and vacuum-hardy heroes like the Kryptonians and Lanterns  lit their asses up. A small force managed to slip by their attacks and make it to the Earth, but according to MM, a hastily dispatched contingent of available JLA members mopped them up easily enough. Hal hadn't heard any of the reports, was actively avoiding them to be honest, but everyone seemed to have come out of the incident alright except the bad guys, so he'd say everyone in participation had earned a beer, especially himself for being a front-line badass. Too bad he was stuck on the Watchtower until the all-clear went through.

He and Barry had just managed to dodge an after-action report with ugh Batman and were loitering in the infirmary—partly because Barry suggested they should be around in case anyone needed more hands with the injured, but mostly because Hal had found out the Bat was allergic to medical care—when Hal's eyes had zoned-in like a laser on the most exquisite pair of tits he'd ever seen on a man.

Jesus that chest was toned! Hal didn't know what kind of exorcize gave a guy pecs developed enough to spill out of your hand, but this guy was doing them and clearly never skipped. Hal was damn near hypnotized as he watched the man strip out of thigh holsters and shrug out of black reinforced-Kevlar body armor that zipped up from the back, revealing a body like a battle axe, hard, cut and stacked, shoulders broad and muscular. The man's legs were insane, his thighs were bigger than Hal's head! He looked like he could dead-lift Hal with one hand and Hal was suddenly wishing the guy would try.

Hal had pretty much been sold before he managed to take in the full package, but lighting on the guy's face Hal realized he was young, in his early to mid twenties, and almost painfully good-looking, even with the domino mask obscuring his eyes. His hair was dark and had a hint of a wave, longer on the top of his head and short at the sides, and at his temple was an interesting streak of white. His face was long and he had a wide, dynamic mouth that was on the verge of a snarl as he argued something with—oh, hey, Nightwing! Damn, he'd been so distracted with the view that he somehow missed that Nightwing, AKA the best ass in the entire vigilante community, was trying to stitch up a nasty three-inch gash in the mystery man's side that should have curbed Hal's arousal but somehow just made him hotter. Yeah, Hal liked the battle-worn and sweaty look all of a sudden.  

Barry squinted where Hal was staring (he assumes, Hal refused to look away from those drool-worthy abs, squeezable pecs and powerful arms and back muscles that had him drooling a puddle on the infirmary floor). Luckily his friend had an answer for him because Hal needed a name to put to that amazing piece of real estate ripe for the tapping that had presented itself before him.

Barry's voice was incredulous as he answered, “That's Red Hood. You know, the guy we all voted into the JLA two nights ago?”

Eh, Hal never paid attention at those things. “Remind me, will you?”

“Gotham Vigilante. Like Nightwing, he used to be Robin. He was a bit of a villain until a few years ago, but he's cleaned up his act and Batman vouched for him—which is all information you should know if you listened at the meetings,” Barry complained. “Don't tell me you voted for someone without knowing anything about them again, Hal...”

Hal tore his gaze away from the smoking hot Red Hood so he could roll his eyes at Barry. “Does it really matter? You listen to the boring stuff and look into all these people and I just vote what you vote.”

Barry sighed, wearily shaking his head. “Hal, that's not--”

Hal raised his fingers to Barry's lips and cut his friend off mid-sentence. “Shh—Daddy's on the prowl,” he whispered and bobbed his eyebrows suggestively.

The speedster's wince was clearly communicated despite his mask as he shoved Hal's hand away from his mouth. “Please don't let me ever hear you refer to yourself as 'Daddy' again, Hal. I'm begging you.”

Hal smirked and clapped his friend on the shoulder. “Begging me, huh? Don't let Iris hear about this, she'll be jealous.”

“Why are we friends again? I can't say anything to you,” Barry mused, covering his face in embarrassment, ready to phase through the floor to disappear from the conversation.

“Don't know, but here is where I leave you, pal.” Hal gave a lazy two-fingered salute and grinned. “I've got a pair of pants to get into or die trying—and the pants don't belong to me!”

“I don't even know what to say...” he heard Barry profess as Hal smoothed his hair and strode confidently across the infirmary floor to where his future—Boyfriend? Sex friend? Morning regret? He'd take what he could get, honestly—had an arm resting on Nightwing's back while the other vigilante was underneath it, bent over his side, putting stitches into the long red gash across the man's ribs. And honestly it spoke to the power, or maybe just the novelty, of his new obsession that he wasn't drifting behind Nightwing to get a view of his fantastic booty, but was marching straight up to Red Hood, ignoring Nightwing almost entirely.

But no sooner had he stepped up to the plate then Guy Goddamn Gardner stepped out in front of him with his dumb red hair and his cocksure strut, cutting off his path.

“Hey, is that your jacket, there? Looks nice,” his rival Lantern said, nodding to a brown leather jacket laying on the medical cot next to Red Hood.

Guy's head blocked his view as he raised a brow in disbelief. 'Hey, is that your jacket, there'? 'Looks nice'? What kind of opening line was that? The hell was Guy playing at?

The Red Hood looked up from where he'd been scowling at the floor—damn, his scowl was mean, it was freaking hot—to eye Guy with the confused incredulity such a stupid ice-breaker deserved.

“Uh, thanks?” Hood said, sounding confused as to why anyone was talking to him, which was vaguely adorable to Hal for some reason. “'s kinda breezy, though. Gotta few bullets holes I haven't patched up yet.”

Hal thought he was going to melt into the floor. Shit, even Red Hood's voice was hot. On the deeper end of baritone with a street-sounding drawl Hal had only ever heard in movies because most people didn't actually have accents that strong.

Gotham vigilante, huh? He sure sounded like it. Hal usually had a 'no Bats' policy when it came to pretty much everything in his life he could manage, but this guy seemed different, more chill, more down to Earth than the usual Bat—or maybe Hal was just making excuses to justify sucking face with the guy. Whatever, he wasn't about to question it. The dick wants what the dick wants.

“Yeah, I used to do the whole leather jacket biker-schtick,” Guy said, his usual cockiness leaking into his tone as he flipped up the collar to his vest as if he actually thought he looked cool emulating a 60s greaser. He pointed a thumb at himself with pride as he said, “I incorporated it into my Lantern uniform and everything. It's a one of a kind style in the corps.” Hal could hear the attempt at a smolder in Guy's voice as it dropped half an octave and he praised, “I bet it doesn't look as good on me as it does on you, though.”

Red Hood's expression slanted into bafflement, mind clearly whirring as he processed the words spoken to him, turning them over every which way before hitting on the realization that he'd just been hit on. All at once Red Hood's cheeks blushed pink and he reached a hand up to tug through his hair anxiously, almost as if he wasn't used to people pulling out corny one-liners trying to get his attention and he had no idea what to do about it. It was so damn cute that Hal's brain momentarily ceased to function. Hal was stunned, amazed, incredibly turned on. What the hell, how does someone who looked like they could punch a hole in a car door, no powers necessary, and shoot you without remorse, look that sweet and innocent? It would be wrong if it wasn't so sexy.

Crap, he couldn’t let this go on. Hal had to get in there and break this up or he was going to be shown up by freaking Guy Gardner of all people, and that was something he simply couldn’t allow, especially when someone this good-looking was on the line.

“Okay, move over Horatio, the real Green Lantern has arrived,” Hal said, reaching out to physically maneuvered Guy out of his way before the other Lantern realized what was happening. Taking advantage of the opening, Hal swooped in to his place in front of the delectable Red Hood, whose eyes flicked from Guy to Hal and back quickly, with the almost creepy assessing intelligence that Gotham vigilante's were known for.

Hal offered a hand and his most dazzling smile. “Hi, Red Hood? I'm Hal Jordan, AKA Green Lantern, AKA Earth's first and best Green Lantern, AKA one of the JLA's founding members. I hear you just got accepted into the league, congrats! I bet you'll be a worthy addiction—I mean, addition, around here. Maybe after Wings finishes fixing you up I could show you around? I know all the best spots to avoid Batman.”

The Red Hood didn't take his hand but his mouth stretched into a lop-sided grin, a thing of brightness with a hint of mischief that had Hal going weak in the knees and he didn't know what he said to get said smile but damn was he going to enjoy it. Red Hood snorted in amusement. “'All the best spots to avoid Batman', huh? Maybe I'll take you up on tha—ow!”

Red Hood scowled down at Nightwing who was glaring at the Red Hood's wound as he tied off his stitches. “Oops,” he deadpanned, sliding his disapproving gaze Hal's way. Hal narrowed his eyes back, not sure when the guy had put on that party-pooper bat-look Hal hated, but now he suddenly couldn’t forget the other vigilante had worn the cowl of his greatest rival, world-class busybody Bruce Wayne. He'd always liked Nightwing better in the role of the big bat—he was more laid back, he cracked jokes even if they were mostly stupid puns—but he might have to reassess that opinion. Apparently Nightwing had picked up a thing or two from his mentor. Specifically, how to make Hal feel like scum for breathing.

Hal opened his mouth to ask Nightwing why he was here and what his relationship even was with Red Hood, but before he could confront his potential cockblock, Guy grabbed Hal by the arm and dragged him away to the corner of the room with a mumbled, “Excuse us, guys...” as Hal complained, “Hey, easy on the goods there, Guy!”

As soon as they were out of ear-shot, Guy rounded on Hal with fury in his face. His usually pale complexion was flushed red with anger and embarrassment, twin to his fiery red hair.

Guy shoved Hal hard enough to rock him back on his heels, whisper-shouting, “What the hell, Jordan! Why you gotta butt into my business?”

Hal scoffed. “Your business? No no no, I let you have first crack, but now it's my turn.”

Guy snorted and got in his face, as if he actually thought he could back down the GL Corps original 'man without fear' with his inadequate self. Please, Guy wasn't even close to his level. “You didn't let me do anything, Jordan. I saw him first and you just shoved your way in, like an asshole!”

Hal threw up his hands, unrepentant. “Hey, the man has a right to make his own choices, and clearly the better choice is yours truly. I'm just presenting him the option of my amazing self.”

Guy looked ready to strangle him with his bare hands, which was pretty typical of the man. “Why do you always have to be number one, huh Jordan?” he demanded and an edge of pleading entered his voice that put a momentary damper on Hal's sense of entitlement. “I might have found my soulmate here, why can't you just let me have this?”

Hal frowned, suddenly uncertain. Did Guy know Red Hood previously and have some relationship with him Hal didn't know? Was there some connection between the two that Hal was selfishly getting in the middle of?

“Soulmate?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest and regarding his fellow Lantern with skeptical but open ears. “You think Red Hood is the one, huh? What makes you think that?”

Guy's face turned dreamy-eyed and dopey as he explained, “I saw him right-hook an alien in the jaw, take the goon's own gun and blast his face off in a quarter of a second, then back-flip off a car and detonate an explosion that wiped out a landing craft. I fell in love instantly Hal, this is the real deal, man!”

Oh, so he didn't have a connection, Guy was just being typical Guy.

Hal rolled his eyes, unimpressed. “He's not your soul-mate, you just saw him do something badass and now your smitten!”

“Well you just saw him take off his shirt and now your smitten,” Guy countered with a snarl, “At least my reason isn't superficial!”

Hey, physical attraction was usually the first step to a relationship, or so he'd heard somewhere. It was human nature to see a hot body and go after it. “There's nothing wrong with—”

“Hey!” Hal heard as someone snapped their fingers in front of his nose and he looked over to see another fellow Lantern, Kyle Rayner, gracing both of his predecessors with something like irritated disbelief. “Are you two seriously fighting over Jason Todd of all people?”

“So his name is 'Jason Todd'?” Guy perked up, voice soft, “I love it. It just perfectly captures his, like, his everything, and—”

Hal shook his head. “Words are not your strong suit Guy, just stop.” Please.

Kyle pinched the bridge of his nose beneath his Green Lantern's mask, wearing a pained look as he said, “Okay, let's just put on hold the absurdity that is anyone thinking that dickhead Todd is attractive enough to pursue despite his garbage fire of a personality--”

“Woah, that's a bit harsh Rayner,” Hal said with a raised eyebrow, taken aback by the fierceness of Kyle's insult. What the heck? The kid was usually so nice. What did he have against the other man, how did he even know him?

“—aside from all the obvious reasons Todd is a bad idea,” Kyle went on, ignoring him. “If you're really interested, then you guys have way bigger problems than each other.”

Guy crossed his arms and tilted his head in question. “The heck are you talking about?”

Kyle jerked a thumb behind him and Hal looked over his shoulder to find the object of his and Guy's affections, Red Hood, one Jason Todd, was crowded by no less than Supergirl, Superboy, Booster Gold, Arsenal and Starfire, as Nightwing and Orphan hovered nearby like stodgy nannies. Kara had actually latched onto one of Red Hood's arms like a leach and was pressing her breasts against the man's biceps as she covertly ran her eyes all over him, no doubt putting her Kryptonian x-ray vision to good use (so unfair). Superboy—the older one, Kent's kinda-clone, not his kid—was trying to shove Kara out of the way and insert himself into the conversation, but the girl was clinging fast and refused to let go. Booster Gold was yacking and gesticulating, trying to draw attention to himself, but Red Hood seemed to be ignoring him in favor of chatting with Green Arrow's old partner and the Tamaranean princess who were looking way too friendly, with Starfire's hand on his shoulder and Arsenal poking at his ribs, as Red Hood swatted back.

“What the hell is this?” Hal demanded, the unfairness of it all pissing him off. “We were there first, come on!”

“I was there first,” Guy corrected and clicked his tongue angrily. “Man, this is freaking bullshit. This is all your fault, Jordan!”

Hal huffed, indignant. “My fault? You're the one who dragged us away! If you hadn't we—”

“Seriously guys, don't fight over the Red Hood. He's the worst,” Kyle spat with an uncharacteristic vehemence. “He thinks with his gun instead of his head and he's a broody goth-nerd lone-wolf-wannabe who he doesn't know when to quit!”

Guy's face screwed up in confusion. “What's your angle here, Kyle? You're just making him sound hotter.”

Kyle put a hand on Guy's shoulder, inviting him to listen closely as he explained, “Look, he's not hot—I mean, yeah he is, he's like crazy hot—but he's not, trust me.”

Guy looked like his brain was struggling to keep up with Kyle's non-logic. Actually, Hal's was too. “You are making no sense,” Hal informed the kid.

Kyle didn't look especially bothered. “Just don't fight, okay? Seriously, I'll sic John on you.”

Oh, not John Stewart-stick-in-the-mud! He'd shut down their whole operation like the by-the-book buzzkill he was! Damn, when did Rayner get so bitter? The kid was still in his twenties but he was already old and jaded and wise to he and Guy's ways.

“Woah, calm down,” Hal said evenly, as if soothing a potential jumper away from the edge. “We don't need to get John involved. We're cool, right Guy?”

Guy was a bit closer to John than Hal was, so he wasn't sure if the other Lantern would back his play on keeping the third Lantern out of it, but Guy also seemed to realize they needed to think smart here.

“Yeah, we can act civil about this. Probably,” Guy said, fluttering his lashes innocently.

Okay, 'smart' was relative.

Kyle rolled his eyes, not in the least sorry that he was trying to ruin their day with a lecture from John about GL solidarity and keeping your mind out of the gutter, or whatever rules the architect-ex-Marine followed to keep his nose so damn clean.

“Yeah, sure you can,” was Kyle's skeptical retort. The younger man rolled his shoulders wearily and finally seemed to let up on the oppressive tone. “Well, I'm out of here—they sent out the all-clear, no casualties, so I'm flying to my apartment to crash.”

“Okay, goodnight, I guess. Good work out there,” Hal said by way of a goodbye.

The younger Lantern smiled back, suddenly more himself. “Thanks. You guys too.” As he started to walk away Kyle hesitated and stabbed a finger their way, saying, “And if you take my advice you'll stay away from Todd.”

With that, Kyle set off toward the door, only pausing as he walked passed Red Hood and his accumulated admirers to sling a snarky, “Not dead yet, asshole? Shame.”

Jason immediately reacted, throwing up a middle finger as he tossed out a, “Fuck you, Bitch-Lantern,” that sounded almost playful. “I've already come back once, what makes you think I wouldn't rise up from the grave just to kick your ass?”

Kyle was still walking towards the door, yelling back, “I'd like to see you try, Failure-Robin.”

“Suck a dick, Rayner, I could bend you in half,” Jason retorted easily.

“I've got a piece of alien jewelry that says otherwise.”

“I bet your ring runs out of power before I run out of bullets.”

Kyle huffed. “Pff, whatever.” He turned the corner out the door with a much more friendly, “See ya nerd.”

Red Hood rolled his eyes and flapped a dismissive hand at him. “See ya geek.”

Hal stared wide-eyed and dazed in Kyle's wake. The hell was all that? How the heck did Kyle know Red Hood, Jason Todd? And what was with all the belligerent sexual tension? Did he have to worry about Kyle now too? Damn it, this was getting out of hand!

“That kid's a problem,” Hal muttered darkly.

Guy looked like he had somehow fallen even deeper in love after hearing his crush shout at Kyle to suck a dick. “Shit, this is bad,” he said and Hal wasn't entirely sure what Guy meant by it, but he was also certain that the man was correct.

“I hate to say it, but I agree.” Hal chewed his lip, for the first time beginning to think this wouldn't be an open and shut case of show-up-get-laid. He might actually have to work for his prize. It would probably be worth it, though. God, but he could die happy crushed between those beefy thighs.

“Maybe we should...I don't know, join forces or something,” Guy offered.

Hal frowned. “How would that work?”

Guy raised both brows and pointed at himself with a deprecating chuckle. “You're asking me?”

Of course, what was he thinking? “Good point, um...” Hal thought a moment before he said, “How about...we share information and give each other space to work, but everyone else is the enemy. If either of us land him we back off.”

Guy nodded. “I'm game. Truce?”

“Truce,” Hal answered. They sealed their alliance with a fist bump, ring to ring, and both Lantern rings sparked green briefly. Hal and Guy dropped their hands and moved to regard their competition with zealous scrutiny.

“Right,” Hal said after a moment to strategize. “Now let's get in there. You try to push out Booster and the ex-Titans and I'll take the Supers.”

Guy punched a fist into his hand and grinned, ready for a brawl. “Got it.”

[m00nslippers]

Everyone Crushing on Jason AU 3

Read on AO3!

Hal wasn't sure how the situation had devolved to the point that he now had an alliance with Guy Gardner of all people, but even the extra back-up hadn't been enough to separate Jason Todd from the iron curtain of admirers that had sprung up around the man the instant he'd left Hal's sight.

The original plan had been to blandish the Supers until they changed targets to Hal himself as he slipped into their place beside Jason, but that had only resulted in Kara's eyes glowing terrifyingly red in preparation for a heat-vision blast with Hal as a target, while Superboy ignored him entirely. Meanwhile, Arsenal and Starfire had Red Hood's undivided attention for as long as they were in the man's vicinity and neither had taken kindly to Guy butting in. Arsenal and Guy had ended up in a fist fight that resulted in Red Hood himself slamming both men's heads together and leaving the two in a pile as he left the infirmary with Orphan and Nightwing, Starfire shaking her head over them both as Hal realized he'd severely miscalculated the difficulty of the task he'd taken on.

But seriously, how did some no-name beefcake he'd never heard of until minutes before already have an impenetrable wall of prominent superheroes policing his personal space? It was completely unfair! Like dangling a prize in front of Hal’s face before telling him it was on the other side of a death trap. He'd been way too naive to think someone this damn sexy wouldn't already have a slew of people ready to fight for the honor of being squeezed between those muscled thighs. Clearly there was more to Red Hood than an amazing body and bad boy aura and Hal needed to find out all he could to secure a victory against his rivals.

“We've got to change tactics,” Hal told Guy in a secluded, empty meeting room on the Watchtower satellite the next day.

Guy nodded to himself, eyes narrowed and distant with consideration. “Yeah, you're right,” his fellow Lantern acknowledged, rubbing his chin. “I should wear cologne. Something that smells like, I don't know, wood or something. But what kind of wood? Mahogany, teak, sandalwood? It's a tough decision, man.”

The only thing keeping Hal from slapping himself or slapping Guy was that he couldn’t decide which he wanted to do more in that moment.

Hal groaned at the ceiling, willing some sympathetic god to strike him down and end his misery. “That is not what I meant, I'm talking about information.”

“Information?” Guy repeated with a raised brow. “What kinda information and how do you say we get it? We could barely get within ten feet of the man! We're at a real disadvantage here, Jordan. We seem to be comin' in late to the game.”

Guy scratched the back of his head anxiously, looking more troubled than Hal was used to seeing his fellow Lantern. Normally the man was all ‘go’ all the time. He never seemed to have any doubts, even when the odds were stacked against him. Hal didn't know why or how it had happened, but when it came to Jason Todd, Guy seemed to have fallen hard and fast enough to start second-guessing himself. Gardner was almost stupidly cocky, but when it came to the Red Hood it seemed his confidence might be failing him. While normally anything that took the other Lantern down a peg was something Hal wholeheartedly supported, watching the man's enthusiasm plummet made Hal realize he really didn't want to see the man moping around about lost love.

“You wimping out on me, Guy?” Hal egged on with a raised a brow. No Green Lantern could resist a jibe like that. It would set the other man straight. “Because if you want to bow out of the running I'm all for it. Less competition for me.”

“I ain't saying that,” Guy assured him, standing up straighter. “It's just usually you've only got to worry about somethin' stupid coming outta your mouth at the wrong moment, or forgetting to wear deodorant in front of the person you like. You know, normal shit. Not a damn cadre of bodyguards enforcing a six-foot perimeter. I mean, I figure with cologne at least maybe I smell good enough to lure him in close...”

Hal rolled his eyes. “He's not a shark lured by the scent of blood, cologne isn't going to do anything. We need some tangible reconnaissance to fall back on.” Hal ticked off fingers as he listed, “Conversation topics, likes and dislikes, who his friends are, where all these gatekeepers are coming from and how to get them off our backs.”

Guy bit the inside of his cheek, looking thoughtful as he warmed to the idea. “Okay, yeah I get where you're coming from with this, Jordan. We've got to investigate. Really use our heads.”

As far as Hal could tell, Guy had only ever used his head as a blunt instrument of violence, so he felt perfectly justified in asking, “That's not going to be too difficult for you, is it Guy?”

Guy punched him in the shoulder hard enough to have Hal grab it and whine an “Ow...”

“Ha ha,” Guy deadpanned without humor. “Sure, insult my intelligence.You're the one whose had your brain turned into scrambled eggs by Parallax more than once, but I'm the dumb one of the two of us. Yeah, that makes sense.”

Hal held his hands up, absolving himself of responsibility. “Hey, you said it not me.”

Guy huffed, but suddenly looked smug and knowing as he said, “If I'm just so dumb, then why do I know exactly who we've got to hit up first for information?”

He'd already had a few people in mind when he suggested the course of action, but Hal figured hearing Guy's take could make for a good laugh. “Fine, I'll bite. Who?”

Snapping his finger with a grin, Guy revealed, “Our boy, Rayner! He and Hood seemed pretty tight yesterday. If nothing else he can probably point us in the direction of someone else to interrogate.”

Kyle, huh? Hal had honestly been thinking of going to Barry, just because his friend seemed to always have answers when he needed them. Or maybe Nightwing, since he and Red Hood were clearly close by the way he glared Hal down while stitching up Red Hood's side with full trust, but Kyle was probably an even better bet. They had so much more blackmail material on Kyle than they did on Barry or Nightwing. For once, Guy had a good idea.

“You're right...yeah, let's hit him up,” Hal agreed. “I thought I saw him in the Watchtower Canteen just earlier.”

“I call 'bad space-cop',” Guy said immediately, forcing Hal to scowl in response.

“We're not going to 'good space-cop'-'bad space-cop' another Lantern!” he protested.

Guy shrugged. “You say that now, but you'll be singin' a different tune when he clams up.”

Personally, Hal was skeptical that Kyle could resist telling them anything about the Red Hood. Kyle had his moments of stubbornness and snark but he generally liked to live up to expectations. He was a good kid. Not to mention bad-mouthing Jason Todd seemed to be a secret hobby of his that no one had known about, and Kyle really enjoyed his hobbies. Look at how often they found the guy doodling super heroes between meetings.

“Well if that ever happens, I call badder space-cop,” Hal decided, mostly just because he knew it would get a reaction from Guy.

Of course Guy's brows snapped together instantly and his face flushed with anger. “Like hell! You can't do that, I already called bad space-cop!”

Hal threw up his hands with no shame, internally grinning. “Can. Did.”

With an irritated snort, Guy growled, “Fine, then we'll just ask him normally. Jeez, you've just gotta ruin everything, don't you Jordan?”

Hal smirked. “It's what I live for.”

- - -

Kyle didn't look up from his sketchbook as Guy and Hal took seats across from him in the Watchtower canteen. He just focused on fleshing out the lines and curves, adding shape and depth and shading, breathing life into his work. When the lines began to take familiar paths, the image clarifying into someone recognizable, he frowned to himself and purposefully changed the design, trying to deviate from the real-life inspiration making itself known on his page.

Lately he was growing increasingly frustrated with how suspiciously similar his random character sketches were becoming to a certain vigilante with a red helmet. Despite all the references and inspiration at his fingertips from being a member of the Justice League, all his hand seemed to draw was an idiot by the name of Jason Todd with his dumb smirk and his stupid white streak and his sexy thighs and—

Kyle swallowed the urge to smack his head against the table and instead just roughly flipped his sketch book closed so no one could see the evidence concerning what was preoccupying his mind. There was no way in hell he was going to become one of the Jason-groupies that seemed have coalesced from the aether the instant the man had been accepted into the League.

Seriously though, when had Jason freaking Todd become so popular?

“No,” Kyle said as soon as Guy opened his mouth.

Guy's face wrinkled in an angry pout as Hal snickered next to him. “I didn't even—” he began but Kyle cut him off again. Guy always seemed to be able to talk him into things, he had to shut this line of questioning down quick.

“Nope!” Kyle insisted and finally opened the bag of chips he'd been neglecting for twenty minutes as his sketches stole his attention. “I'm not spilling my guts about Jason. No way, no how, I don't want anything to do with the guy.”

And as if to drive that fact home, Kyle loudly chewed on his potato chips at a volume his mother would absolutely disapprove of.

But of course there was no drowning out Hal. That man was used to talking over the sounds of an airfield with fighter-jets going in and out all day, so crunchy chips weren't even a challenge.

Hal smirked, waving an accusatory finger at Kyle as he pitched his voice louder. “See, you say that but the sexual tension between you two yesterday was palpable.” Kyle nearly choked and spat out his chips, as Guy smirked and Hal just kept talking, unconcerned that Kyle might be choking or that more than one person in the cafeteria had started paying too much attention to their conversation. “You're just trying to get rid of the competition and while I admire your strategic mind, I question your integrity as a Green Lantern—because that's just not fair play!”

Kyle coughed a few more times and smacked his chest before he managed to sputter, “'Sexual tension?' I do not have sexual tension with Jason freaking Todd, of all people!” And he'll admit his voice was tinged with an edge of hysteria but this was a serious accusation!

Hal was clearly not buying what Kyle was selling as he crossed his arms and eyed the younger man incredulously. “Oh really? So you don't think he's hot.”

Kyle rolled his eyes because admitting Jason was hot only proved he had functional vision. If Jason hadn't been a walking wet dream then Kyle wouldn't have been so terrified when the man started hanging around Kyle's at-the-time ex-girlfriend, Donna. And it wasn't even just his looks—Jason was smart, and talented, and well-read and was respectful to women and rode a motorcycle—basically a really cliche romance novel love interest.  

“Of course I think he's hot,” Kyle freely admitted, starting to feel himself get angry as he remembered everything about the man that made him feel inadequate. “Have you seen those honking thighs? You know he has to buy a bigger size pant and take it up in the waist to fit? And he does it himself, the multifaceted piece of shit...” Seriously, why was Jason so dang good at everything? It wasn't fair, how was a normal guy supposed to measure-up?

Guy slapped the table, eyes huge as if he'd just been told he'd won an all-expenses-paid trip to Hawaii. “Oh my God, he can sew? Damn, that's wife-material, right there.”

Hal ignored Guy and instead frowned, leaning over the table and trying to loom threateningly. “How do you know all of this, Kyle? We are your mentors, you owe us this.”

Kyle felt his temper pique at the idea that he owed anyone an explanation regarding himself and Jason Todd. He didn't like the guy, didn't want to think about him or talk about him. And yet the man was everywhere he went all of a sudden. Now Kyle couldn't even eat his chips and draw in peace because every time he put pencil to paper it turned into Jason Todd and people got in his face demanding he tell all when there wasn't much to tell to begin with.

In an incredulous tone, Kyle said, “'Mentors'?” Raising his hand, he tapped the glowing green ring on his finger with emphasis. “When I got this ring, I was the only Green Lantern in the galaxy. By the time there were any other Lanterns around, I was already an expert. You guys are like...senior colleagues at best.”

Hal whistled. “Ouch. That hurts, Kyle.” He seemed impressed at Kyle's level of shit-talk, which was unsurprising because shit-talk was Hal's first language and the form of communication he seemed to respond the best to.

But Guy on the other hand did not look impressed. He looked angry and hurt, his hands on the table tightening into fists, his cheeks and forehead flushing red beneath freckles as his eyes lit with fire and the overzealous passion he always put into everything. All at once Kyle felt awful about what he'd said and wanted to take it all back.

“Come on, man!” Guy demanded, lip lifted in a snarl. “Screw being mentors or colleagues, I thought we were friends! I gave you the 'friends-and-family discount' on your tab at my bar!”

“You get a discount?” Hal interjected. He turned to Guy and complained. “Why does Kyle get a discount? I don't even get a discount...”

Completely ignoring Hal, Guy stabbed Kyle right in the conscience as he slapped his own chest with emotion, the ache of betrayal in his expression. “That meant something to me, I thought it meant something to you too...”

And now Kyle felt like a total piece of shit. He really wasn't like this. He wasn't snappy and snarky and angry. It was only when the Red Hood was around that his personality did this one-eighty. He'd been joking about the mentor thing, he really did look up to Hal and Guy. Kyle was letting his frustration with Jason-Jackass-Todd get the better of him and that wasn't okay.

“No, you're right, Guy,” Kyle agreed running a hand through his hair. “We're friends and that's important me.”

Guy's expression was mulish, not quite ready to forgive him. “And friends tell each other shit, especially about their future significant-others, right?”

Kyle sighed and nodded agreement, though the idea of Jason being Guy's future wife seemed like a joke with no basis in reality. “Yeah, I get it. What did you want to know?”

The anger and hurt finally seemed to bleed out of Guy, but he still answered with a forceful, “Everything. You're gonna earn that discount, Rayner!”

Hal's eyes were narrowed at Guy as he promised, “We'll talk about discounts and why I don't get one later. For now let's start at the beginning. We'd never even seen him until yesterday, so how do you know Jason? Unless you're spending way more hours Earth-side than I know you are, you wouldn't have had enough contact to be slinging sexually charged insults at each other unless something fishy was going on.”

Kyle nearly started choking again on nothing but air. 'Sexually charged insults'? Not even! Jason had a smart mouth and hot lips but he wouldn't know attraction if it hit him over the head with a crowbar. Kyle had seen enough sad losers make passes on Jason to know the man was denser than concrete when it came to the subject. The ungrateful asshole had men and women hanging on him left and right and he didn't even seem to notice.

“There is nothing going on between Jason and me—Never was, never will be!” Kyle assured his fellow Lanterns. “Me and Jason were never even friends, okay? We got stuck doing this reality-traversing gig with Donna and some jerk named Bob to save the multiverse together in an alternate timeline. Then the universes merged and everything we did technically hadn't happened anymore but we still had the memories intact since it all took place outside our world.”

While Hal stared at him in wonder, processing the ridiculous but true explanation regarding Kyle's association with Jason Todd, Guy's face was screwed up in something between confusion and outrage.

Guy held up a hand. “Wait wait wait...So you went on a universe-hopping adventure to save the very fabric of reality, with your ex-girlfriend and Jason Todd, that got erased from history and you never told your buddy Guy Gardner?”

Okay, when put like that Kyle admitted it was the sort of thing he should have mentioned to his friends. Especially Green Lantern friends who were used to branching timelines and multiversal weirdness and wouldn't even question his story.

“Well...” he trailed uselessly.

Clearly Kyle's response was not adequate because Guy shook his head at the table and muttered to himself, “I feel so betrayed...giving you the ‘friends-and-family discount’ is supposed to mean more than this...”

Kyle blushed with shame. “I'm sorry, okay? It just...didn't seem relevant.”

Hal smacked the table with a frown. “A piece of man-meat that sexy is always relevant, Kyle!”

“Not to me. Most of the time I try to pretend he doesn't exist,” Kyle confessed.

Guy tapped his chin, eying Kyle with suspicion. “Oh really? You just seem territorial, to me.”

Kyle scoffed. 'Territorial'? Over Jason Todd? Pff, that was just...no way, that could ever...Kyle shook his head. No way was he feeling territorial over Jason. The fact that he'd known Jason way before any of the people suddenly following him around like a lost puppy had appeared, back when Red Hood had no positive connections to anyone, in a universe where no one showed any interest in him, was no reason to think he was territorial now. It really just had no bearing on anything...

Seriously, it didn't!

“I am not territorial,” Kyle hastily assured them with a sniff of contempt at the very idea. “I just don't want to see you guys waste your time trying to go after Jason Todd when I can tell you from experience that it isn't going to go anywhere good.”

“Experience. Right,” Hal deadpanned. “This experience that took place outside our universe in an alternate timeline that no longer exists.”

Shrugging, Guy said, “Eh. I wouldn’t put it on your resume, kid.”

Kyle rolled his eyes. “The world might be different, but Jason Todd is still the same. He acts like a jerk just to prove he's unfit for company. He's an all-mission-all-the-time bat who doesn't see a problem with shooting people in the back when it suits his agenda,” he tried to explain. This Jason might have Batman fooled somehow, but the Jason that Kyle knew, the one that still seemed to know him, was contrary for the sake of it and did bad just to push people away. He couldn’t imagine the man had really changed all that much in a few years and a few timeline tweaks.

Guy just raised a brow, what Kyle was trying to get across completely going over his head as if he'd translated everything his friend said into, 'he's a streetwise sensitive loner' and couldn't figure out the downside. But at the mention of Red Hood's mission-obsessive tendencies, Hal seemed to hesitate. It was common knowledge the first Earth Lantern had an issue with Batman, mostly regarding the Gotham vigilante’s patronizing seriousness and intensity, which grated on his nerves. When the mission was on, the Red Hood was just as bad and he didn't appreciate perceived incompetence. He'd never seen Jason Todd relaxed. Kyle wasn't certain he was capable of it.

After a moment of consideration, Hal shook his head, his interest seeming to rally. “Let's set aside whether or not Guy and I are wasting our time and get down to the real nitty-gritty details. Like, does Jason Todd like men? Is he single? Which position does he like? How many dates with him does it take to get to fourth base? Will I have to fight Batman in a cage match for his honor, because I think I would be open to that.”

Kyle was fairly sure Hal had no chance in a cage match with Batman. He also had no idea why Hal thought Kyle could answer any of those questions. “Don't know. No idea. As far as I know, he's never really dated,” he answered.

Hal groaned and pulled his hands down his face with exaggerated frustration. “Ugh, dammit Kyle, you were supposed to be our fount of knowledge!”

“Well I don't know anything like that and even if I did it would be outdated information because this is a different universe,” Kyle reminded the man, trying not to get angry.

“So what can you tell us?” Guy asked, with an edge of impatience. “Anything at all. Favorite color, or favorite band, or hobbies or something.”

Kyle had to think because his most memorable experiences with Jason involved wanting to ring his neck the instant he opened his mouth. What he'd actually said had been secondary to how annoyed Kyle was the moment he looked into the man's handsomely brooding face.

“Um...I know he listens to the band Cheap Trick. It's really annoying,” Kyle revealed. “And he reads a lot, and quotes at you like a smartass. Also, you don't want to play poker with him because you will lose. Badly. Even if you think you're winning, you're actually not. By the end of the game, you will be broke”

Hal stared at Kyle in silence until the younger man began to feel self-conscious, eventually he said,  “Right. So now that we've established that Kyle knows absolutely nothing of value, who do you know that we can actually go to for information that would be something approximating useful?”

Kyle almost opened his mouth to protest, but then he remembered he'd never wanted any part in this to begin with and knowing nothing about Jason Todd was his ideal state of being. So instead he just answered, “The Bats, of course. But good luck with that, you know as well as I do that it's pulling teeth to get anything from those guys. He's really close with Arsenal and Starfire, too. They started a hero team in this universe, I also heard they might have been...involved in some way.”

Hal perked up, mouth spreading in a leer. “Like a threesome? Hot!”

“That explains why those two were around yesterday,” Guy remarked with narrowed eyes, drumming his fingers on his arm unhappily.

“I don't know, that's their business,” Kyle said with a shrug. “You could also ask Donna, I guess. She knew him when he was a kid, he was on her Teen Titans team. Apparently they were really close back then. Also the team members he's got now—Artemis of Bana-Migdhall and Bizarro. That's kind of it. He thinks the lone wolf lifestyle is cool or something.” Kyle snorted in derision. Todd was such an edgy idiot.

“Alright, well that's a place to start, I guess.” Raising a solemn hand to his chest, Hal humbly declared, “As much as I hate the guy, I will take one for the team. I will confront grouchy old Batman about why all his kids are such freaking hotties. How did the genes that produced his brooding goth ass produce such perfect specimens as Nightwing and Red Hood? This I will find out.”

Kyle couldn’t tell how serious Hal was being. “They didn't, Hal. All the bat kids are adopted.”

Hal's tut of sympathy, made it clear he thought Kyle was being naïve. “Sure they are. So while I'm focusing on that, Kyle is going to get us an in with his ex-girlfriend Donna. And Guy? You're going to hit up your fellow gingers Arsenal and Starfire.”

“No way, let's switch!” Guy protested, pointing at his face as he said, “Arsenal about gave me a black eye yesterday, he's not gonna talk to me.”

As Kyle was trying to figure out how he'd missed seeing Arsenal try to deck Guy Gardner, Hal batted an uninterested hand at Guy and said, “Figure it out. Unless you want to hunt down Artemis and Bizarro, but I've honestly never heard of either of them, so good luck.”

Guy grumbled but seemed to be resigned to his assigned.

“Wait a minute, why am I involved in this strategy?” Kyle asked as he realized Hal had casually involved him in his outrageous plans. “I'm not the one trying to get in Jason's pants here, leave me out of it.”

“Green Lantern solidarity, Kyle. We're in this together,” Hal said easily. He didn't seem to care that his statement was completely lacking in logic.

“I don't see how getting either of you laid has anything to do with Green Lantern solidarity,” Kyle argued.

Guy reached across the table and squeezed Kyle's shoulder, pinning him with his intense stare. “Friends-and-Family discount,” he reminded Kyle. “Are you a friend? Are you family? Because someone who was either would help a brother out.”

Fuck, Kyle thought vehemently. He might get a few credits off on drinks and appetizers, but apparently he was paying for it with freaking blood. Kyle wasn't sure this nonsense was worth a discount he only got to use on Oa at Guy’s admittedly pretty good bar which was the only establishment on the planet that served Earth cuisine.

But it was probably worth it for their friendship. It might be worth it for the laughs, too. And it would put him in a prime position to beat Jason senseless if he stomped on either of his friends’ hearts.

“Damn it, fine,” Kyle caved, as his fellow Lanterns grinned.

[m00nslippers]

So in the au where everyone has a crush on Jason, does he ever end up with anyone? (My money’s on Kyle, but only bc I love Jaykyle)

Well you know, Kyle would have to actually come out and admit he wants to date Jason for that to happen. It’s not impossible, but I think it would take a near-death experience for him to get off his ass and admit what he wants even if it makes him look like an ass for being such a jerk all this time. Kyle’s biggest issue is he spent so long hating Jason’s guts that it’s hard for him to let go, because if he does then it makes him look like a fool, and everything he did before was a waste of time.

Roy has a similar problem, in that he spent so long with Jason as his friend, or the guest in his relationship with Kori that he has trouble realizing that what he feels for Jason right now is more than that. And if he ever does see it he’s going to have a tough time asking Jason, because as much as Jason trusts him, he’s also terrified of losing him, so it’s hard to say what Jason would do if Roy asked to date him. If he decides to actually go out with Jason, he’s probably got the best chance of actually doing it though.

Hal, Guy, Kon and Booster Gold are super into Jason but for more superficial reasons, it could become love if they let it but they aren’t really looking for that right now. Honestly if all they wanted was a hook -up, they could probably get one if they just toned it down a bit. Jason is fairly casual about sex, he’s had more than one hook up already with various heroes (*cough* Constantine, Plastic Man, Artemis, Huntress)

Kara is probably the one trying the hardest but she has to overcome Jason’s anxiety about dating. She hasn’t actually outright asked Jason to go out with her because she’s pretty sure he’ll say ‘no’, like he has for other people. At the moment she’s trying to date Jason without him realizing what she’s doing. She’ll tell him they’re dating when she hands him the wedding ring and prompts him to give his I do’s. Miguel Barragan has the same problem and knows Jason well enough to have come to the same conclusions as Kara–he’s got to stealth date.

Duke and Raven like Jason a lot, but they are both shy, kind of the ‘I’ll just love you from afar type’. They’re gonna have a tough time making any head way working against their own hesitancy. Also Duke and Raven are still fairly young so Jason would probably turn them down for that reason alone. He’s not exactly old, but they are still five or six years younger than him and when you are that young that’s a pretty big age difference.

Emiko Queen is also a fan of Jason but she’s even younger, she knows it ain’t going anywhere. Also, she isn’t super big on her extended arrow family, but she wouldn’t want to get in Roy’s way. If anyone bothered to asked her opinion it would be that Roy needs a kick in the ass to get going.

There are a few people who are fans but don’t actually have any interest in sleeping with or dating Jason, such as Barry (thinks Jason is adorable), Beast Boy (likes the drama), The Question (likes the mystery), Shayera and Mera (likes the gossip).

And none of the villains have any chance at all.

Also like, if Ryan Choi ever showed any interest in Jason he’d be all over that, just sayin’.

[mugrisstuff]

What's your rare pair, oh bereft one?

ohh jayhal for sure but also haldick i thought i would have a lot of vampire sex content with them, but no and then i think hal and jason are fun together i mean they started hanging out to annoy bruce but then hal said you've never flown with me" shit and jason was like ohh he's so stupid i want him

[megabookparty-blog]

The Dark by Jay Hal I read this to my kids the other day and it was a hit. Jay Hal wrote a fun and wonderful little rhyming tale for the kids.