#jayvents

[chainsawplaycollective]

Okay uhm so just to clarify on my account

I do not allow proshippers or anyone who is in support of proshipping. Just like I reblogged from a good friend of mine Do not follow me if u support or follow proshippers I will instantly block you when I find out.

Yay :3

[jayvents]

why should she get to huff and be offended and sulk in her room like a teenager when she's the adult. when she's the mom. why is it fine when she does it but not when I do?

[jaylovesmychem]

I still miss when you called me bubs and a good boy/puppy and those days will never come back and I can feel it :(

[chainsawplaycollective]

RANT

guys how the fuck do I break up with them. I don't wanna be in a romantic relationship irl anymore.

[chainsawplaycollective]

TW: RANT OR SOME SHIT

Bro like what the fuck. Let me explain

I told my girlfriend Ether that I was uncomfortable with a name they've been calling me bc I was "happy with it" now they aren't gonna call me Jay or Levi. They were telling me like "Have fun with that I'm gonna deal with my emotions" or "Guess I'm gonna have to change your name now...." I'm like "bitch what the fuck you accepted me when I was Alex and you accepted me when I was the name u called me and now you won't accept me when I say I wanna go by "Levi or Jay." Because I've been being called Jay or Levi for a while now before they even called me that name.

Not to mention they are just being a prick about everything I tried telling them how uncomfortable I was and they spat my kindness back at me. What the actual fuck is wrong with irl relationships I might as well be cupioromantic.

[jayvents]

I saw her brother at the store a few minutes ago

I don't know if he saw me or even recognised me but I was having a panic attack the entire time I was at the store and even now after I've left and got back home

I always avoid that store because I know there's a chance I'll see her or her family. I never go in alone or at night to try and avoid a confrontation. every time I've been there I've never seen her or her family

and this was one time

one time

I go there alone, there is no one home, it's DAY TIME

and u see her brother

nothing even happened, we didn't even speak and I am trembling

what the fuck

last I saw her was almost three years ago

everything ended almost three years ago

I think I need to stop dancing around it and just admit what happened, to myself and to my therapist

I need to talk about it because I can't have another one of these situations where nothing happens and I am in tears, shaking and hardly breathing

[jayvents]

I'm just tryna do some homework but all I can think of is what my dad said when drunk

it's consuming me

[jayvents]

why is it that everything is always about her? how she's feeling? how this affects her? What about ME? I'M THE ONE COMING OUT SO WHY IS THE FOCUS ALL ON HER