#jeezum crow

[kingofdoma]

*watches 5 minutes of Neverafter* YEAH PAY ATTENTION TO THE CONTENT WARNINGS Y'ALL

[primaryass]

GOSH i cant wait to get home and play as abigail beefcake anderson and smash some hEAD S

[aflytooawesomeforthewall]

Here’s to one of the most fulfilling theatrical experiences of my life. It was so good. Great, even.

[altruistic-meme]

So I have a leak in my house. Not like, an actual fixable, findable water leak. Nooo I have a leak that is letting wildlife in somehow.

So I was calmly walking to my parents room to tell them I’m gonna shower then head to bed and in their doorway was a small mass of something. So naturally I stopped to investigate. What was it, you ask?

A MOTHERFUCKING FROG.

Just sitting there, staring into my parents room, while everyone was oblivious to it’s existence.

So I said, relatively quietly, though loud enough for my parents to hear, “There’s a frog.” and my mum looks up to see me frozen a foot from the door. She can’t see my feet though, nor the frog which I am staring at. My dad remains oblivious for a moment longer.

But then I bend down in a hope to easily catch this creature that shouldn’t be inside, and it hops up against the wall. I guess I let out a gasp or something, or my mum somehow convinced my dad to look over, but this is when he does as I’m going “there’s a frog and it’s hopping what the heck”

Did I catch it? No, of course not. I didn’t even get close. That would be too simple.

No, the frog jumps through the doorway (at this point my father is alarmed enough to stand and move over) and then it jumps behind what we like to call “the abyss” which is this giant pile of stuff beside my parents bed on my dad’s side that starts on the floor and is almost as tall as I am.

Now we are freaking out a bit because if it was a mouse we could just say that the cat will catch it, not a big deal. But it was a frog, so we couldn’t. So we begin moving stuff trying to find the blasted demon creature- and we spot it! In the back, seemingly trapped, if I put my hand to stop it from moving forwards. But no, he’s not trapped.

My dad swoops in from the other side to grab him and he leaps through this HOLE in the stuff that I didn’t know about and for a second it just looks like he vanished and we’re both like “Where tf did he go????”

He went and hopped directly on my foot, that’s where.

Now, I am by no means squeamish and I have no fear of wildlife. If I had the chance I would have grabbed him with my bare hands and honestly, I probably would have cooed at him. I pick up spiders on a regular basis and I have held a baby alligator.

But when something sticky and small touches your foot when you aren’t expecting it?

I screamed a bit and fell back onto the bed because holy shit the frog just used my foot as a launching pad.

My mum, of course, mocks me about it while I try and calm down and my dad looks under the bed.

I stand back up, admittedly shaking a bit, and continue looking while screaming at my mum that I was just shocked is all! I place a pillow to cover the little hole that the devil-spawn and used as escape and I look behind the stuff and- lo and behold! our sweet little brownish demon is back there again!

So my dad joins me and the little frog jumps back out the way he originally came, and heads straight for the closet. At this point we are all a bit hysterical, so he ends up dropping the flashlight and full out dropping onto the ground to catch the sucker.

And, finally, he is caught!

My dad starts screaming “ I GOT HIM! I GOT HIM! OPEN THE DOOR!” so I rush out to the front door, open it for him, and follow him out.

He takes the frog to the other side of the yard mumbling to me about “not letting my pets inside” jokingly. Then from across our yard (and it isn’t a small one) he yells “This was not in my job description! I checked!”

And that is the story of how, on a Wednesday night at 11:30pm, my dad and I caught a frog.

[entrenous88]

This is one of those nights where I keep checking the time to see if it’s late enough to go to bed yet

[altruistic-meme]

LEGEND OF KORRA IS FUCKING ME UP MAN

[kitschhazel]

Normally I think minced oaths are kind of cheeseball (just curse, it’s ok y’all)

But living in Vermont for the last 15 years of life, I cannot deny the sheer power and utility the phrase Jeezum Crow has…

[pastacatprod]

It's wild to me that when that historically accurate depiction of Jesus was put out, there were actually people that were like "BUT JESUS WAS A WHITE MAN....IN.....IN THE MIDDLE EAST. LIKE ME. DON'T TAKE AWAY MY WHITE JESUS WITH YOUR WOKE CULTURE!"

Anyway, I drew that depiction.