baby, i | jesse tlou
summary: pregnant with jesse’s baby, you navigate the task of telling him plus everything that happens after the fact
pairing: tlou!jesse x fem!reader (no use of Y/N)
word count: 3.6k
trigger warning: bad language, kissing, sexual themes, mentions of smut and a breeding kink lol. pregnancy and child birth. this is just corny fluff tbh
a/n: there’s one thing i eat up more than husband!joel and that’s a devoted!dad. this is set in a world where dina and jesse never got together but jesse is still an avid no wrap but still tap guy x
gif credit: @pedgito
Two lines. Two perfect red vertical lines.
You thumped the test on the palm of your hand thrice, hoping a little shake of the urine saturated strip would miraculously alter to a singular vertical line with some shaking.
This was the fourth pregnancy test taken in the span of a week.
Positive, positive, positive and — yup — positive.
You snatched the box up, flipping it around to check for an expiration date. You did this for all four tests, you were amidst, essentially, the apocalypse so these little plastic things had a shelf life.
In date. For another year. OK. That could've been the issue for all four tests. Faulty the longer it had been unused. You were being optimistically obtuse.
Head hitting the tiled wall behind you as you sat on your bathroom floor, you thought back to the moment that you were pretty sure landed you in that exact predicament. If it were a police line-up, nine times out of ten, you would be able to pick it from the line without question; it was that blatantly obvious to recall.
Jesse had been announced as a new council member. He had worked hard, endless hours to ensure that Maria Miller and her band of council members could put their trust in him to be unbiased in the face of debates that could strike a nerve with his own personal views. He was the epitome — in your opinion — of what a council member should be.
You two celebrated by christening the council table after hours.
Legs held up by his hands, you were sat atop the wooden table, stark naked, as it juddered beneath you. Perhaps you got lost in the moment, Jesse was just so excited and in turn, that spiked your adrenaline levels as he came close to finishing.
"Jesse—" You grabbed the nape of his neck, sweat taped his hair to his forehead, "—Put a baby in me."
OK. You didn't think he would take your words so literally that he did, in fact, impregnate you that one and only night that you had begged for it. You cringed at the memory.
If the bathroom could depict how you felt as you stared at yet another positive pregnancy test, it would be aflame with wails of terror.
As your inner turmoil peaked, the front door opened and slammed shut announcing Jesse's arrival back to your shared home within the Jackson Commune. It was a new thing, a foreign concept to you both as you navigated how to live with the person you were in love with. Jesse had been the one to ask you to move in, and you — without hesitation — said yes.
He even had pointed out the spare bedroom whilst moving your boxes in, suggesting that it would make the perfect nursery if you ever wanted to have a baby with him. Ah. That suggestion may have also been a contributing culprit.
Now? Now you were scrambling to pick up the evidence of your fourth pregnancy test, profanities muttered under your breath as you looked around to rid the evidence. There was nowhere that wasn't an easy find, so, you resulted in stuffing it down your bra — wincing at the contact due to the soreness of your breasts.
You went to stand as Jesse opened the bathroom door, the top of your head smacked against the ceramic of the sink bowl making both you and Jesse wince at the harsh contact. You cradled your head as Jesse rushed to your side, knees on the tiles as his large palm cradled yours.
"Hey, baby." You squeezed your eyes shut. You had to tell him. After you were one hundred percent certain you didn't have a concussion.
"What were you doing on the floor?" God, did he have to be so observant?
Your head throbbed, "Oh. I was feeling a little sick again, sometimes just sitting on the bathroom floor cools me down."
It was no secret that you had been throwing up. Profusely at that. It started after you had eaten your favourite dish, going green after the first bite, you hurled the contents of your stomach into the toilet bowl whilst Jesse rubbed your back, confused at what he had done differently to your favourite dish that made you puke your guts up.
After that, you had been sick more times than you could count. It made you miserable. Debilitating when it was near impossible to keep even water down.
"We should really get you a check-up with the doctor." Jesse frowned, the pinch of his brow offered an insight to you that meant there was more on his mind than just you throwing up. Not that it didn't worry him throughout the day whilst he worked that you couldn't sustain a meal. But, you knew him.
Something was afoot.
"Is everything OK?" You perked up, tender headed but assured that there was no sign of concussion. You weren't seeing double of Jesse, as brilliant as that would have been.
This had Jesse lean back onto his backside, his back against the tiled wall with his arms rested atop his bent knees. He exhaled deeply and shook his head with disappointment. Oh god. You thought. He's going to break up with me.
Being a first time single mom wouldn't be so bad. Right? Right.
Shaking the thought, you placed a reassuring hand on his bicep and he offered a weak smile. Oh fuck. He's really going to break up with me.
"I made a mistake on Patrol this morning." Oh good! He wasn't going to break up with you. You were going to tell him you were pregnant after a few consoling kisses. He continued with gritted teeth, "It almost cost the life of another Patroller."
You bared your teeth. Not so good. Maybe it wasn't the best time to tell him you were pregnant.
You had to be considerate. Jesse took his job seriously. He was a perfectionist to the bone. If he made a mistake, which was rare, he would punish himself for a couple of days before he got over it. Usually it was minor things that he had slipped up on and you did your job as the doting girlfriend to assure him he was human and mistakes were little reminders that it was OK to not be pristine perfect at every given moment.
Nevertheless, he was meticulous about rules and if it was at the expense of another life, you could presume that Jesse would carry the burden on his shoulders for weeks.
An unexpected pregnancy announcement probably wouldn't have the effect you thought it would.
Another time.
Your nose bumped his side-profile, your hand rubbed the length of his back as he leant into your touch.
"The key word is almost, here." You noted and he turned to look at you, noses just a kiss away from each other. You tilted your head and smiled, "They're still alive because of your quick thinking even after you made a mistake. That's what separates you from your error. Don't let it haunt you."
Jesse mulled your words over.
He nodded, a small quirk of the corner of your lips told you he would be over it much sooner as he swallowed your words of wisdom.
"Since when did you become a prophet?"
You'd tell him you were pregnant another time. For now, you were going to make his favourite dinner — nose tucked into your t-shirt whilst you did.
-
It was becoming more apparent that you were pregnant. It had been two gruelling weeks and one more pregnancy test for good measure that you had solidified the idea that you were carrying Jesse's baby. A small foetus that rained terror on your day to day life.
You were still incredibly nauseous, even the scent of Jesse smelt like vinegar to you, making you screw up your face when he pulled you in for a morning kiss — it hurt his feelings but he loved you enough to not bring it up there and then. You had become overwhelmingly tired even when performing the most mundane task such as giving the horses at the stable some extra snacks. Not that, that was classed as a job but you enjoyed being the horses favourite.
You'd pass out upright at council meetings. Everyone close to you knew that you preferred to be horizontal to sleep. It had annoyed Jesse, for the first time in your relationship, as they were discussing resources to vote on, there you were next to Ellie and Dina who had elbowed you after you let out the softest snore to alert those nearby that you had drifted off.
You yawned into the palm of your hand as you sat with Dina as she prepped for her next patrol that afternoon. Her eyes flitted upward to your face before she halted her inspection of her gun; a smug smile on her face.
"What?" You asked when she didn't stop staring at you. It made you feel as if there was something on your face.
"Are you fucking pregnant?"
Your eyes almost popped out of their sockets, "Dina—What the fuck?" You gawked, "You can't just ask a woman if they're pregnant. Who knows their background with it."
"You're right. But you are pregnant. Aren't you?" She folded her arms across her chest in succession of her deduction.
"You can't tell Jesse."
Her hand slammed down on the table which made you jump. She externally celebrated with a fist pump, immediately calming herself by clearing her throat and clasping her hands together with her lips pulled into a thin line — as best as she could of course.
"You have my word." She broke into a grin again, "Oh my god. He is going to shit!"
"Yeah. I know. I'm working on it." You ran your hand down your face. It seemed whenever you had cemented the idea of telling Jesse your little, but growing secret, something else cropped up that overruled it.
It was OK. You thought every time. You were patient and Jesse needed you. Although, you could only keep this kind of secret for so long before the swell of your stomach spoiled it for you.
Dina sensed your apprehension and leant forward to squeeze your hand briefly before returning to clean her gun. "You know he will be ecstatic. Fuck, he will raise a second Captain Wyoming."
"I know." You beamed, "I'm so happy."
-
There was no time like the present and at that present moment of time, you had solidified the decision that you would tell Jesse when he got home from his Patrol meeting. Albeit exhausted, you were giddy to see his reaction, to finally spill the beans on your behaviour that deviated from your usual self with the Jackson Commune.
You kicked the wet mud off your boots, scuffing the remains onto your doormat before entering. There was a dim light that glowed from the kitchen and you frowned, you were overly cautious at making sure that all electricity was turned off prior to exiting the house.
Quick to check, you found Jesse sat at the small table you had inherited from Joel Miller, one leg shorter than the other, it was a mock-up table for one he was going to create for his and Ellie's home. He called it a 'house warming gift'. You loved it. It had character.
He had a glum look to his face. Despite his resting face usually equating to one that read dismay, Jesse was putting this face on. Your shoulders fell; another night of not telling him.
You were starting to think you'd tell him when you went into labour.
"We need to talk." Jesse stated coldly and you felt the nerves creep up your throat. He never intimidated you, just those around you. Like a dog pissing on an object to claim their territory. Now, however, he was using his scary dog tactics.
"OK. . ." You put your bag down on the table and sat across from him.
He swallowed. "You need to be honest when I ask you this." Oh. Did Dina spill the beans? "I've noticed a few changes to your behaviour that have had me questioning things. For instance, you don't want to kiss me, and when you do, you grimace as if it pains you to do it. You've been a little withdrawn, you never tell me how your day was—" As Jesse listed the details of his concerns, the realisation creeped on your face, "—Not to mention, you've not been turning up to fulfil your duties for the Commune. These are all key factors to someone who may be possibly having an affair."
What the fuck?
You blinked at his accusation. Mouth agape, you had been accused of cheating on Jesse. The man you looked at as if he strung the stars. You, the woman who was head over heels, hopelessly devoted to Jesse — Captain Wyoming — were sat across from him with a finger pointed claiming to be a cheater.
You couldn't help the laugh that escaped.
"What is funny?" Jesse glowered.
You swallowed the rest of the jest, "Nothing is funny. I promise—"
"—Then answer me!" His voice was raised an octave. A rarity for someone like Jesse, but not impossible when pushed to the edge of his emotions. He wasn't so sure what he would do if he found out that you had been cheating on him.
"Don't shout like that. You'll scare the baby." You said flippantly.
"What?"
"What?" You repeated as you digested what you had just slipped up on. Your hands gained clamminess, rubbing them against the fabric of your pants whilst a nervous giggle left the back of your throat.
There goes the speech you had been reciting every morning for when you told Jesse the news.
"Are you pregnant?" Jesse almost demanded with wide eyes and baited breath. His fingers twitched on the table as if he wanted to hold your hand.
You scratched your neck, "Remember that time when you were appointed council member?" Jesse thought back to that moment as you nodded at his realisation, "Yeah. Turns out I kind of manifested it from begging that hard."
The legs of the chair screeched from underneath him as he stood. He slowly rounded the table and knelt before you, hands coming to your stomach that hadn't reached the milestone of protruding from your clothes as of yet, but your jeans no longer fit your frame. He looked to you in awe, lips parted as he manually computed this revelation.
It was a double whammy. Relieved you weren't cheating on him, but in fact, pregnant with his child. It all made sense now.
"I'm a little offended you thought I was cheating." You feigned hurt as his thumb stroked your abdomen.
He ignored you, "I'm going to try and be the best dad ever. Whatever it takes."
You thread your fingers in his hair as he rested his cheek on your lap, "I know you will."
-
The seasons changed and your stomach grew rounder, you bid a farewell to your feet, unable to see them from the protruding belly holding your baby.
From the moment he found out, Jesse had been exceptionally thriving in the aspect of fatherhood. After the the night he found out, you had woken up to his side of the bed cold, and everyone knew that Jesse was a stickler for an early bedtime routine to ensure maximum hours of rest. Bare feet padded through your shared home, you had found Jesse hunched over his desk, muttering to himself as he shuffled a few priorities around in his life to give his full undivided attention to becoming a father.
He would come home after Patrol, books on pregnancy, breastfeeding and babies stacked up to his chin. Quick to press a chaste kiss to your lips before delving deep into his studying on how to perfect all three — despite not being able to breastfeed himself, Jesse still wanted to be as knowledgeable and supportive to you when the time came.
One time, as you were drifting off on the couch, Jesse strolled through from the kitchen, a half eaten apple in his hand that was browning, a book balanced between his fingers as he looked up with the concentration still apparent on his features.
"Did you know about Perineal Massages?" He asked as you rubbed your growing stomach. You shook your head and he hummed, "It helps prepare the perineum for childbirth. We should do that tonight."
You were positively glowing by the end of the Perineal Massages he suggested, that never ended up being just a Perineal Massage.
OK, Jesse was relatively obsessed with the idea of you being pregnant with his baby. Come your third trimester, he would catch you waddling through, hand on back to support it before it crumbled beneath the weight of your child. He licked his lips, flipping the pages of the pregnancy book he had nose-dived into, to see if there was a possibility to keep a woman pregnant for the rest of their lives. Maybe it was a selfish indulgent fetish but he's sure he'd be forgiven.
"I swear my throat might actually have caught fire from this heartburn." You had stated as you clutched your neck, "If your baby doesn't have a head full of hair, my suffering has gone amiss."
Jesse looked up from the pages of the book, disheartened not to find anything on keeping a woman pregnant. He narrowed his eyes, "I read that's a myth. Hold on. I can find exactly what it said — I think I bookmarked it—"
"—Jesse." You interrupted him with no guilt. Patience had been lost in the third trimester. Fingers pressed to the ache coming from your pregnant belly, you pleaded, "Knowledge break, OK?"
Knowledge break meant stop explaining pregnancy to you through the bookmarks of the tenth book he's read about pregnancy and the astounding myths that came from it.
Jesse closed the book in his hands, "Ah. Sorry." He was so inexplicably nervous to become a father that the extensive research where he read pages ten times over to digest the knowledge, became an irritant to you in your late stages of pregnancy.
You smoothed your hand over your stomach, Jesse’s eyes flitting to your the stretched skin. Oh god, he was so obsessed with it. You smirked, he wasn’t so subtle with his wide-eyes as the corners of his mouth watered over you.
Who wouldn’t take advantage of that?
“Will you take care of me?” You feigned innocence, a slight pout of your bottom lip and Jesse pounced on you like a savaged animal. Head between your legs, you leant your head back and thanked the Council Members for choosing Jesse for the Council that night.
Timing was everything. And then you heard it before you felt it. A ‘pop’ before you felt a gush of water flush from between your thighs and all over Jesse. You eyes wide as he raised his head, hand swiped at his sodden face as he blinked the liquid out of his eyes.
Oh my fucking god. You stared wildly.
Jesse gasped, “Did you just—?”
“—No, Jesse.” You pushed yourself up onto your elbows, “My waters just broke.”
You had never seen Jesse crumble under pressure. He was the epitome of cool, calm and collected even back when you had patrolled the outskirts of the Commune with him, prior to the pair of you dating. Now, when the words escaped your mouth, Jesse was close to the term of a headless chicken, rug slipped beneath his feet — thankfully, catching himself — as he rushed to the bedroom to snatch the bag Maria Miller had helped you with that accumulated all specific needs for giving birth.
You winced, teeth gritted as your stomach tightened, before you managed to push yourself off from the couch. Eyes caught Jesse sprinting between rooms as you waddled toward the door.
“Whew. OK.” The contraction had passed, your hand still tightly pressed to where the striking pain had located from.
Jesse, in a thunderous panic, slid past your frame, bags tenfold in his muscular arms, before he swung the front door open, “Fuck, it’s happening!” He exclaimed into the night sky before the door to your home slammed shut, leaving you stood perplexed.
“Jesse?”
After a few seconds with baited breath, Jesse swung the door back open, wide-eyed with his broad chest heaving under his black t-shirt. He was by your side in an instant, hand under your elbow as he guided you through the threshold into the open air. You grinned knowingly.
“You forgot about me.” You teased and he tried to make face by sternly shaking his head.
“I didn’t. I was checking for any possible threats.” He was reading off his patrol script whenever he deviated from his own plan out in the wilderness. You knew. You had been there when Maria told him off.
You felt the contraction coming as he spoke. No time to retaliate, you hunched over and Jesse almost screamed in panic. There was no debate who was more calm, even when you were the one about to push a tiny human the size of a watermelon — or bigger, considering the height of Jesse.
Reassured with a smile from you, the pair of you continued your trip to the medical facility.
Jesse was going to be such a good dad.
Oh, and the baby had hair. Lots of it.
