#jesus jack

[joebuscus1031]

Prankster-in-laws AU one shot 2

Prank #2 The "exploding" egg Ami: "I'm telling you, he's not falling for it Avi He cannot be that stupid" Avi: "if he really thought Ashi turned into an onion, he'll believe anything....now ! Do you remember what to do right Ami ?" Ami: "Yes" Cuts to Jack is meditating minding his own business until he hears someone screaming in the distance Ami: "JACK ! JAAAAAAACK !" He snapped out of his concentration frantically looking around Jack: "what what what ?!?" He sees Ami running towards him with a rather large egg and The look of concern on her face. Ami: "Jack listen to me (she says while running around him) this is very important you need to take this egg and get it away from here as fast as you can !" Jack: " what ?! Why what's wrong with it ? Ami: "This is the egg of the combusting condor and if I stop running it's going to explode wiping out the entire forest and then some...killing everyone and everything !" Jack: "Oh my goodness that's horrible! how did such a thing come into your possession?!" Ami: "Theres no time to explain, quickly you must take it and get far away from here as possible !" She shoves the egg into Jack's arms which causes Jack to panic and start running Jack: "H-How far must I go ?" Ami: "EXTREMELY FAR ! Until you reach the ocean !" Jack: "THE OCEAN ?!?" Ami: "It's the only way to dispose of it, NOW go Jack go before we're all doomed RUN RUUUUUUN!" Jack: "I will not fail you guys !" Ami: "You're a hero samurai Jack !" Once Jack is out of her vision the sisters come out from behind the trees laughing All of them: "pfffft HAHAHAHA" Ami: "did you see the look on his face ?!" Ali: "damn ! I can't believe he fell for that so easily !" Avi: "like I said If he can believe that Ashi was turned into an onion he can believe anything" Adi: "that was genius Avi, how far is the nearest ocean ?" Aki: "pffft about a week's journey from here" Adi: "Damn ! No doubt Ashi's going to be worried" Ami "she'll be fiiiiiiiine" Ani: "seriously he's the most gullible person I've ever met" Adi: "he's the ONLY gullible person we've ever met" They continued laughing hysterically. Fast cuts to jack running through the woods frantically with the egg held in front of him arms extended. "MUST.NOT.LET.FOREST.BE.DESTROYED !!" Little does he know....it's just an ordinary egg painted to look different. 4 days later They're all sitting around the campfire Ashi with a look of worry on her face. Ashi: "You sure you guys haven't seen them it's been two days already I'm really worried about him" Adi puts her hand on Ashi's shoulder Adi: "Pfft naaaah I wouldn't worry about him he's samurai Jack after all" Ashi: "Yea but four days ?! That's-" Before she could finish her sentence they heard crinkling of leaves and turn their head to see Jack slowly walking up to them with a look of annoyance and a big yellow stain on his chest. Ashi Bolts up and embraces Jack in relief giving him a quick peck on the lips. Ashi: "My God Jack I was so worried about you- (She looks at the stain) What the hell happened to you" Ami: "Ooooh your back ! what happened with the egg ?" Ashi: "What egg ?" (She turns around saying with a stern voice and a corked eyebrow) Jack: "Oh are you referring to the egg of the combusting condor ? Yes I ran for two days straight and near the end of the day I tripped and fell on top of the egg cracking it needless to say it didn't explode" Ashi: "Combusting condo-?" She slowly turns her head around with an angry look on her face Ashi: "Guuuuuuuuuuys ??" All of them are trying their best to hold in their laughter until they just burst lol

[spacedusthowlter-blog]

"I died doing what I love. Getting my face sat on." "Rest in- waiT WHAT!?" @therealjacksepticeye From: 'A Day In The Life of a Slice of Bread'

[mhagens11]

yk what’s crazy is this.

[duckbehindthewheel]

“Let me help you.”

“I would prefer not to.” Grendel shut his bloodshot eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He pushed his laptop out of the way, but the image on the screen pressed to the corners of the display, bleeding out of the chat window. It was hard to tell, as the creature did not have a face to speak of, but the shimmering swirl in the center of its…head…seemed to turn up like a grinning eye.

Grendel had faced this ordeal, every night, for the last two weeks. This dissertation of his still hung over his head like a cat toy, and he couldn’t bring himself to get any decent work done while a spectre took over his computer.

The first night, the creature seemed almost like a shadow, a figment of a dream of a vision. The nights that followed, not so much. The creature (though even Grendel could painfully realise it resembled a man in many alarming aspects of form and mannerisms) seemed to be watching, and even, yes, it was doing so now, this very night, preening itself. The spectre seemed to be wearing a suit made of the same dreamlike stuff like that of its body, and yet, it took on such a hard likeness to cloth (aside from the garish, near blinding colour that made Grendel’s teeth ache to stare so much) that it felt all the more real.

By the eighth night it was casting a shadow.

“It’s harder to do this than old CRTs, you know,” the ghost remarked chirpily. It never seemed especially cross with Grendel for refusing its help or even its existence, but with the patience of a seasoned parent, well-meaning and hopeful that its child would make the correct choice.

So, why then, did it insist on taking on such a...ahem.

Grendel was losing sleep over the tough of its...HIS...curves.

Ghosts weren't supposed to be corporeal, but whatever this thing was certainly had a body, and if it wasn’t suited exactly to Grendel’s liking. What a smart coincidence. He tossed his sheets about in the night, trying to recall when actual, mortal, HUMAN warmth was by his side. Not this. He wouldn’t be cajoled into letting the beast have its way.

“My name is Werster, you don’t have to keep monologuing about me in your head as an ‘it’, you know.” It snarked one night, laying seductively on Grendel’s research bookshelf. Was it doing this on purpose?

The next night he didn’t bother trying to banish it.

The night after it watch him rest.

Within two weeks of the ghost’s first appearance they were sharing a bed.

“How does it feel?”

“It’s not a cloud, that’s for certain.”

“Do most beds feel like Haven to you?” Grendel was slightly scandalized, so he had kept the light off. It was even worse than being able to see; his breath was so very acutely audible in the darkness, without sight to dull the noise.

“Oh, poor lad, I’ve gone and confused you of my origin.”

Grendel prayed his beating heart would stay quiet, by some degree. “T-then you are a demon?”

“I never said what I was. Why approach the subject with your prejudice?”

“I...” Grendel quavered as he steadied his breath. “I’m what I like to call a recovering superstitious paranoid.”

Werster laughed. HEAT seemed to rise from his side of the bed. “It’s one of your finest qualities. It’s why I was drawn to you.”

Grendel said nothing.

“Oh, please, don’t look at me like that. I want to help you. And you want me. AND my help.” Werster added coyly. Black, shadowy fingers slipped down Grendel’s chest.

And suddenly, they were at another crossroad. This wasn’t as simple as barging in as Werster had done before. This was another threshold he could not impose upon. He wanted consent, in all its forms, before offering anything to the young man. His knowledge, his power, his makeshift body, Grendel would have to request. And he knew.

And yet, lying atop of the ruddy-faced scholar, propped up on his knees, holding breath he didn’t need to hold, he was dying for acceptance. He wanted Grendel to say yes. To all of him.

And in the darkness, yet perfectly clear to the creature’s eyes, Grendel smiled, very small.

“What must I do?”

Werster lowered himself enough to murmur into Grendel’s ear, and it was like the page of the first Book ever written. He told him all of his Knowledge, just because he liked Grendel. The young man nodded. Their bodies united.

Legs tied into knots.

Grendel could see in the darkness now.

“You are enough, as you are, Grendel. Now, allow me to help.”

[cyberneticlagomorph]

what’s it like to be a god?

what’s it like to look down  on mortals and watch them squirm, knowing you can do everything to fix their pains and ease their worries?

what’s it like to use their lives as entertainment?

what’s it like to be absolutely powerful?

i ask again, what’s it like to be a god?

[vivlavidaagentcarter]

I love this scene. Jack wants Gwen to tell him what he saw. When she gives her excuses, You revived him. You resuscitated him. He ignores it. He asked her again and again, what did you see? And his voice just grows firmer and firmer. He wants her to tell him what she saw, the truth.

(Excuse me my pictures because I don't know how to make gifs.)