Okay so like the reason why I love rock songs, especially Christian ones, is because it flat out says what we struggle with.
It doesn’t hide from saying stuff that most people are running from.
For me, my first instinct is to hide and run from my problems. Like my internal ones.
The thought of being a horrible person scares me so bad that I sometimes shove down the things I’m feeling. Especially when I can’t explain why I’m feeling like this.
So when I’m struggling with depression, without realizing it, listening to some heavy music brings it out and I can actually process it later during the quiet.
A lot of people say that rock songs are depressive or even demonic. But it’s all about the words that’s being said in the song. The music aspect, yeah it can be drilling to the brain, and so that’s why I only listen to it when I’m in the right mood.
Rock songs lets me scream out anger. Which is something I need to learn how to do.
I don’t know how to properly process anger without lashing out and so often times I shove it down, and wonder why I feel angry whenever I see someone triggering. 😂
I was taught that “You can be angry, but don’t do anything you’ll regret later” but no one actually taught me what to do with my anger.
So now that I’m letting my anger actually come out, I keep removing myself from everyone, so I don’t hurt anyone.
That might be bad 🤔cuz isolation isn’t always healthy. But I haven’t gotten a better solution just yet.
But I am listening to myself, while I’m alone so I am processing it. In the comfort of my bedroom. 😂
