Jesusphilia- a necrophilia oneshot by welcometohellie
Hey I’m that necrophilia anon
Warnings: smut, death, gore, necrophilia, bdsm I’m so drunk pls accept this offering in the name of Jesus bless😩😭💘🛐✝️
Susan was a noble man. He made his sacrifices to the dark lord every Wednesday and paid his slave taxes. But soon, a problem emerged in the small village of wherever the fuck Jesus was killed.
Rumors began circulating that some dude said he was the son of God.
Although Susan was skeptical, he attended the whipping. What greeted him would turn his entire life around. It was a stunningly handsome shirtless man tied to a wooden pole, being whipped relentlessly. All that covered his beautiful body was a thin cloth on his pickle. Susan was intrigued. The moment the whip cracked across this mans back, he let out a guttural moan and squeezed his eyes shut. Susan wanted nothing more than to shove his rapidly swelling pickle into that mans mouth.
"Man Jesus is so fkn ugly let’s go get lit or sum” Susan turned to see a group of dudes leaving to get L I T. Jesus. What an interesting name...
before he knew it, jesus was like walking with a cross or whatever he did idk the story. Susan followed and watched as he was nailed to a cross with some other dudes who weren’t near as sexy as Jesus. This was some hardcore bdsm shit and Susan was loving every second of it.
Eventually, the crowd dispersed and Jesus looked over at him.
"Why are you still here?” Jesus asked quietly.
"I just wanna observe the art,” Susan murmured.
Jesus decided to put on a show. Slowly, he wriggled out of his cloths and his glorious pickle sprung forth. Susan took no time running to the horny cross boi. He grabbed the bass and ran his tong along the shaft, swirling his tongue around the head. Jesus was already shaking. Luckily he had those nails to hold him up tho lol.
Susan began deepthroating Jesus, taking all of him and swallowing around his giant pickle. Jesus was already overstimulated due to the whipping and nailing and came fast, bucking into Susan’s mouth. Susan was in awe at his taste. A pure golden liquid squirted down his throat that tasted like heaven. He quickly swallowed it all and pulled back, leaving Jesus exposed and not bothering to cover his deflating pickle. After all, Susan had a pretty good guess that Jesus wasn’t all that opposed to public exposure.
He whispered a quick “I’ll be back for more” and vanished into the night.
~ Several days later, Susan heard the news that Jesus had died. Even better! He quickly ran to his grave and moved the heavy stones. There, he was met with Jesus’ cold, dead body. His cock was already swollen and red. He jumped into the shallow pit, wasting no time with ripping off jesus’ rags. He turned him to lay on his stomach and slapped that perky, heavenly ass. Deciding he couldn’t wait, he just plunged straight into that tight hole of his. It was pure bliss. His eyes screwed shut and he moaned the loudest he ever had.
Suddenly, he felt the ass he was fucking push back against him. Could Jesus be alive?!?! He quickly halted his motions in horror. How would he explain to his lover that he fucked him in his grave??? Jesus turned, and Susan braved himself for a blow that never came. Instead, jesus sensually whispered, “open your eyes.”
Susan obliged and looked into jesus’ eyes.
"It’s cool. Let’s bang” Jesus all but moaned. They had wild passionate sex in his grave all night and secretly decided to marry.
~ After Jesus died, like officially, Susan decided he couldn’t live in a world without him. He committed suicide on jesus’ old cross. Suddenly, a golden stairway emerged. He climbed it to find golden gates above the clouds. Jesus was waiting at them. He ran into his arms. Then Jesus lead him to god and they all decided to have an orgy for all eternity.
