#jewish hell

[pyrite-the-book-winion]

if I was Jean Valjean Les Mis would be so different because I’m Jewish and we don’t have hell we have Gehinnom and you go there for maximum 11 months to repent for your sins and then you go to heaven so the whole “if I stay silent I am damned” thing wouldn’t really apply

“Who am I?…

“…I’M MONSIEUR LEMAYOR!”

Sorry random guy I guess I’ll repent for a few days idk if it’s like fasting or saying sorry see you in heaven 🫡

[progressivejudaism]

Heaven and Hell in Judaism. Jewish Life After Death. Jewish Afterlife and Eschatology. Jewish View on Next Life. Jewish Ideas and Beliefs

[theliterateape]

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of July 11, 2021

By David Himmel

• Moving is hell. I like to imagine Hitler and Donald Rumsfeld in hell helping each other move for eternity. But for them, it’s not only hot, it’s also raining.

• Speaking of hell… I was recently asked if Jews believe in hell. Not that I’m an expert on all things Jewish, I was just the closest thing resembling a Jew at the time. Anyway… no. Jews don’t believe in hell. But if there was a Jewish hell, it would be Judaism’s worst having to watch that documentary about Woody Allen allegedly molesting his daughter for eternity. “Oy vey, noooooo! Why can’t we watch Annie Hall!?!?!?”

• There’s nothing like someone else’s wedding to remind you why you got married.

• The better an idea, the shorter its lifespan. Only the good die young.

• If I were lucky enough to meet one of my variants from another time a la Loki, I, too might fall madly in love with myself. Just think of how clean our home would be.

• Every CVS drugstore I visit looks and operates like it’s living way below the poverty level, suffering from a litany of mental health problems, has a history of domestic abuse, and definitely did a bit too much meth between 2003 and 2006.

[buckbumbleenthusiast]

alright lmao I hung out with Luis and we fucked in his car but there were no feelings so I still feel like maybe I can ask someone else to prom ?? it's not even like Luis goes to my school so

[gem-918]

Howard: Sheldon, you’re a condescending jerk. Why on earth would I want to do something nice for you?

Sheldon: Um, to go to Jewish heaven?

Howard: Jews don’t have heaven.

Sheldon: Then to avoid Jewish hell?

Howard: Have you met my mother? I live in Jewish hell.