A/n: Haven’t written in awhile but this was requested and I love this song so much omg I hope you guys like it!! <3
I woke up in the place we started
Your clothes on the floor in that old apartment
I never thought you’d leave without a trace
I can’t shake this sinking feeling
I know you’re not there and I’m barely breathing
Holding onto things I can’t replace
Another day, another morning where you woke up and and he wasn’t laying beside you in bed, light snores escaping his mouth as his breath fanned your neck. Wrapped up tightly in each other’s embrace, nothing but the two of you tangled in sheets.
Luke left for tour. Again. You knew what you signed up for the moment you said yes to that first date. You knew that there would be countless days that would pass where he wouldn’t be there with you, instead miles and countries apart. But what you didn’t know was that it would hurt this bad.
Everyday felt like a struggle now. On the days where you really needed him the most, a phone call just wouldn’t do. Sometimes you felt like you could barely breathe, the air leaving your lungs in abnormal patterns, the clothes on the floor that he left behind always reminding you of him, making it even harder for you to move on and live your life while he was living his, without you.
Your shared apartment only held the memories of you two. The couch where you both laid, cuddled up into each other’s side for hours, the patio outside where you would just stand there, leaning against the railing when the sun would set, painting hues of orange, yellow, and pink in the sky, the chipped tile on the floor where he once smashed a bottle in rage, drunk off his ass.
Everything was a constant reminder of him not being there. And it was taking a toll on you. But you couldn’t just leave him, right? There was no one like him. There was no one who could push your buttons the way he did. There was no one who could make you laugh until your cheeks hurt the way he did. There was no one who would do the little things he does, like always leave your cereal out in the morning when he woke up first, or subconsciously always hold your cold hand in his because he just wanted to feel you.
He made you happy. He loved you. He cared for you. But the million dollar question that everyone asks you, is it really worth it?
Oh, tell me what we’re fighting for
It’s turning to an all out war
I’ll find a way to fix these broken pieces
And let go
I’m tryna find a way back home
If it takes until I’m skin and bones
I’ll find a way to fix these broken pieces
And let go
“All I wanted was to spend some time with my boyfriend before he dashed off to another city!” You shouted, clearly on the verge of tears as Luke came back home, but only to leave once again for a night out.
“Y/N, stop being so over dramatic, fuck.” He ran a hand through his hair, this conversation being discussed far too many times in your relationship. It was starting to get tiring. You should know that he would always find a way back home to you. That he would drop everything in a dime to be there for you if you needed him.
But right now, you were delirious, anger taking over your usually soft features, blame being thrown on Luke for making you feel insignificant in his extravagant life.
“God, do you even care anymore?!” You screamed, pacing the room in front of him as you spoke. “It takes two people to be in a relationship Luke and lately it’s feeling very one sided. I don’t even know if you love me anymore!”
And this only set fuel to the fire.
“Stop acting like I don’t care about you!” He yelled, effectively shutting you up. “You know how my job is! It can get really stressful and all I wanted was to spend some time with the lads and just unwind, but it seems like I can’t even do that either.”
You scoffed as you wiped a stray tear from your cheek and took in his words. “I’m doing everything I can to save this relationship Luke. Are you?” You breathed out, making Luke’s heart shatter.
Your words stumped him, he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t think that this argument would lead to here. Sure you two had your fair share of fights but what couple hasn’t? You two may have more arguments than normal but he didn’t think that he needed to show you just how much he loved you because he thought you knew. He thought that there were no doubts. But clearly he was in the wrong. Your relationship was on the brink, again, and he had to try and fix this.
“I don’t think I have it in me anymore.” You croaked out, hating the way his face fell at your confession. Hating how you weren’t strong enough to handle such a complicated relationship. Hating that sometimes love just wasn’t enough anymore.
Our last words ringing in my head
I wish we’d take back all the things we said
I’m tryna find a way to yesterday
Turning in circles and chasing our tails
And wondering why we created this wasteland
I wish you wouldn’t be so cavalier
“I’m doing everything I can to save this relationship Luke. Are you?”
That sentence kept replaying in Luke’s head like a vinyl record as he jet off to another city, leaving behind what he deemed as a broken relationship. Of course he was trying. Why would you even ask him that? Communication was key in a relationship and if he didn’t know how you were feeling, how was he supposed to make it better? You’ve never really expressed your emotions very well and he always escalated conversations into arguments. Both of you were at fault here.
He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to make it better. He just wanted to make it better.
He wished he hadn’t yelled at you before leaving for tour again. He wished he stayed in that night instead of deciding to go out with the boys. He wished he told you he loved you before he left. That simple reminder that he always uttered at the gates in the airport, whispered against your lips as he pulled you into his chest, always reassured you that he was yours, and you were his.
But he didn’t say that. In fact, you didn’t even come to the airport with him like you always do. Instead, he woke up that morning, picked up his already packed suitcases, and fled the apartment before you even had the chance to wake up. Like you were going to talk to him anyway.
All Luke wanted was to just go back in time and rewind. Rewind to when things didn’t get so bad. Rewind to when you two were so madly in love with another and nothing would tear you apart. The whispered promises at night, the soft caresses in the morning, all he wanted was to go back, back to when you two were, you two.
“It’s meant to be us, you and me, if it’s the last thing I do.” He muttered, closing his eyes as he tried to go to sleep in the bunk, memories of the two of you flashing his mind before he tried to drift off into a peaceful slumber, knowing he was going to have to give it his all if he wanted you in his life.
We’re fading out, we’re all alone
It’s what you wanted, I suppose
I can tell you feel the same
When you say you’re looking for a way to change your mind, don’t walk away
You were supposed to come on tour now. This was your break and Luke had already booked tickets way in advance for your arrival.
But the ignored phone calls and the disregarded texts he sent to you for a week straight after yet again another fight, he didn’t think you were coming.
Everybody called you toxic. Everybody said that you two should just breakup already and stop holding onto something that wasn’t there anymore.
But Luke couldn’t let you go. Why on earth would he let go of someone so perfect, so right for him in more ways than one. You were the one for him. He knew it the moment his eyes fell on yours while you were dancing in that supermarket with your friend at 10pm while almost stumbling into the produce section.
He knew when you looked at him with your spark filled, glistening eyes that he was already wrapped around your finger.
And he was going to try his damn hardest to win you back.
The show had started, the band going through the memorized setlist with ease. But Luke couldn’t help but wander his eyes around the front of the audience, desperately trying to see if you showed up or not, a pang of hurt filling his already aching chest when he caught no sight of you.
“Alright guys we’re gonna sing a new song for you if that’s okay?” Ashton said into the mic, the crowd roaring in response.
“What is it called Michael!” He shouted, banging the drums into a drum roll.
“Broken pieces!” Michael screamed into the mic, causing Luke and Calum to let out a chuckle at his behaviour.
The song began, the melody changing instantly from the rock n roll of American Idiot they just played to something more gentle, more real.
Calum began the song and Luke let his thoughts wander at the lyrics, them reminding him so much of you. He turned around, aiming to get a drink of water to ignore the pain he was feeling due to the song, until he saw you.
Standing there near the backstage with his lieutenant shirt on and some leggings, looking absolutely breathtaking.
You wiped a stray tear at the song they were playing, mirroring Luke’s thoughts as it reminded you so much of you two. His eyes softened at your actions as he mouthed a quick ‘I love you’ to you before slowly turning around, but not before seeing you let out a quick smile and mouthing it back.
He went up to the mic and sang the lyrics for the chorus, frequently casting a glance at you every once in awhile to make sure you were okay.
And the way you looked at him with such love and compassion, he knew that you two would make it work. Because he couldn’t do all this without you. Not anymore. You were the one he was going to fight for, no matter what.