a/n: i am BACK bitches here’s some angst based on this prompt to celebrate my return
Luke was indifferent to forests. He didn’t mind the vastness of tree after tree, surrounding him with their leaves and secrets of years before him. The silence was okay, he guessed. Anything was okay as long as you were there—and you were. You were sat next to him on your rock with your knees pulled up towards your chest as the wind sang to you gently. Unlike Luke, you loved the forest. You discovered it one day when talking the long way home from school. It was a Thursday, before you had known Luke, and you remembered the way the light hit the small patch of flowers by the rock that you had later claimed. Ever since that day, you took the same path home for the rest of your school career. And when Luke came into your life, he became the only other person you ever took to your hideaway.
He liked the idea of you trusting him enough to let him into your mind. Moments like that were rare in the friendship, even though you two classified yourselves as best friends. Luke didn’t mind. He liked when you were happy and he liked when he was with you—there was a bigger correlation to those more than you would like to admit.
Luke first realized the correlation himself when he was seventeen.
He didn’t mean to stumble upon it, in fact his life would have been better if he didn’t. Realizing that he loved you was the worst and best day of his life. But you laughed at one of his stupid jokes and you let your fingers dance across the splayed freckles on his skin and you laid next to him and he loved you. You made his heart stop, made him forget how to breathe, made him lose his goddamn mind with the thought of wanting to kiss you.
But you didn’t want that. Told yourself you couldn’t have him, he was your best friend and you’d tear through his heart like a fucking hurricane. You wouldn’t leave a single survivor, and Luke deserved to see every glory of life. That day he whispered that he loved you. You told him that he shouldn’t. He asked to kiss you. You made him promise that he wouldn’t let himself fall for you anymore.
And he did.
And he regretted it every single second afterward. It made you happy, so he let himself live in torture. He let his heart wreck itself just so you would stay friends with him. Luke wasn’t sure why you wouldn’t let yourself fall for him, why you wouldn’t let him love you, but he’d do anything to make you happy. Ask him to walk the bottom of the ocean, and he’d do it with a smile on his face.
“How’s celebrity life?” You asked, breaking the silence.
Without looking at you, Luke shrugged and said, “not the same rush it used to be.”
“Seems like everything in life is that way.”
“What do you mean?”
“Life back here is boring, Luke. I wake up to a black and white world,” your voice is strained and Luke wishes he could kiss away any bad emotion you were feeling. “I would do anything to switch places with you. To see the world, to matter.”
“Are you kidding me?” Luke finally looked at you with his eyebrows furrowed. You did matter. Everyone mattered in the world. Everyone had their own stories weaved into the stars that were made just for them, and so what if you weren’t seen by millions of people everyday. You were you, and for that you mattered so much more than you thought. “You exist and you breathe and you’re here with me. You do matter.”
“Look at you,” you smiled. “Left and got all philosophical on me. I like it.”
Your knees were away from your chest, and he hadn’t noticed that you moved your body closer to his. Your thigh touched his, his fingertips grazing the skin just under the hem of your skirt. He’d been in this position with you many times before when you were both younger, before the band took off and stole him from you. He’d lie awake in his hotel rooms that were miles away from you and wish to whoever could hear him that he could be with you again. He didn’t care about the stupid promise. He never did. He just wanted you.
Luke knew he should have stopped what his mind was controlling. He was leaning in and your eyes were wide but you didn’t move from your position. “Kissing me breaks the promise,” you whispered. “Remember?”
His hand came up to cup your neck, and his thumb brushed against your jaw. “Kissing you doesn’t mean there’s feelings involved. People do it all the time.”
You didn’t move. You let his forehead touch yours. You let him capture your lips with his, and most importantly, you let yourself kiss him back. You could only hold back so long before the urge came to prominent and took over every sense of your body. It felt like a wild fire was surging through his bones, sparking with each second his lips stayed on yours. It was like all of his dreams were coming true in that moment, but it also felt like exactly that—just a dream.
You moved away and that’s when Luke saw that you were crying. He tried to wipe the tears away for you, but you wouldn’t let him. “You promised,” you croaked, standing up from the rock. “You promised, Luke!”
“I tried,” he admitted. “I tried so hard to do it for you because I knew that’s what you wanted. But I couldn’t—I can’t just push it back anymore. I’m so fucking in love with you and I always will be.”
You swallowed. “You’ll find someone else.”
“No, I won’t.” He stepped away from the rock and took your hand in his. “If you’re scared I’m going to hurt you—”
You dragged your hand to your side. “I know you wouldn’t hurt me. I’m scared of what I’m going to do to you.”
He wanted to laugh at that. “That’s not going to happen.”
Face going cold, you looked to the ground. “You’re right, it won’t,” you wiped away more escaped tears, “because I’m leaving. I got the internship in France and I leave tomorrow.”
Luke didn’t know what to feel. Anger that you didn’t tell him, sadness that you would be leaving, and happiness that you got your dream. The side of him that was your best friend told him to smile and hug you. The side of him that was in love with you told him to cry and beg you to stay. But he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t let his selfishness get in the way of your dream that you had since before you had even known him.
So he put his lips in a fine line and nodded. It was only after you had whispered goodbye and walked away did he let himself fall to the ground and cry. He wasn’t sure how long he stayed there against the rock—against your rock—but as night fell the wind blew and told one more secret of the forest that you held so dearly in your heart.
going to new york city with calum when it’s cold outside and he’d wear a beanie and big bomber jacket and you’d be all snuggly as you walked through the streets at night, headed to your fancy dinner reservation, and he’d pull you in so the jacket was around you too. he’d kiss your head at every crosswalk wait and tell you you’re beautiful with twinkly eyes and distant sirens cutting through the snow flurry-filled air
This is a tumblr hug! ❤ pass this on to ten of your favourite followers (one can be me if you really want) and make sure you don’t break the chain. I hope you have a great day! ^^
okay but i'm here for taking a late afternoon nap in bed with ashton and when you wake up it's sort of dark since it's winter time and the sky is cloudy and you've got nowhere to be and you roll over in the warm bed to see ashton shirtless on his stomach, hair a mess and a peaceful look on his face, and you smile and snuggle closer to his warm body to drift off to sleep again
as you lay in bed with michael, the only thing bringing light in the comfortable room being the fairy lights strung up around the headboard for christmas decorations, you could see michael send a tweet then lock his phone. he drops it down on the soft down comforter and has a tiny smile on his face as he closes his eyes gently before rolling over to you and throwing his arms around your waist and buried his head in your neck, causing you to wiggle and drop your own phone down to look at him and say "what's got you so smiley?" and you are answered by nothing but a content hum. a moment of silence follows before he says, "nothing, i'm just really at peace right now, ya know? like this year has been so good. with the band, with my family, with myself, like i have really become comfortable with myself, we started dating this year... i mean i could go on forever. i'm just really happy with life right now." you smiled to yourself as michael got lost in thought. you leaned down to kiss his hair as you snuggled in to the comforter and put your arms around michael.
- michael blaring all i want for christmas is you by mariah carey literally 3 months before christmas
- consulting you about what christmas themed meme he should temporarily change his twitter icon to
- michael asking for help when it came to gifts for his family and friends since he claimed he was terrible at buying gifts
- but then he ends up getting you the most amazing gifts, endless gift cards to sephora and your favorite clothing stores, that one designer purse you had wanted, along with many other thoughtful little things that proved he really paid attention to every little thing you love
- him groaning when you ask his help decorating the apartment
- "michael you love christmas decorations" "yea but i don't like actually putting them up ughhh"
- "babe we should like, have sex in the glow of the christmas tree"
- michael letting you cling to him while trying to go to sleep, trying to watch a movie in the couch, or literally any other time because you were constantly so cold due to the weather
- him giving you little gifts on the 12 days leading up to christmas, leaving them on your pillow
- "you know what will be laying on the bed on christmas eve right ;)))" "michael shut up we are in public"
- okay all joking aside tho he would make sure he showed you just how much he loved and appreciated you during the holiday season
If you get this say 5 facts about yourself then pass this on to 10 of your favourite followers 😊
(hey kacie!!!!)
i fell a little bit in love for the first time two months ago (i believe it was with the moment tho, not the person)
the last movie i watched was “gone girl” and it was hella good
i finished “criminal minds” and i don’t really know what to do with my life
i accidentally fucked a trump voter (IN MY DEFENSE THO I DIDN’T KNOW HE VOTED FOR HIM and i didn’t find out until tuesday night rip i had to take a shower to calm myself down)
i am currently listening to “holy ground” by taylor swift
