2nd to last one babe: jiho + face sitting + more overstimulation☺️ -✨
→ Pairing: Jiho x afab + baker! Reader
→ Plot: the stress of baking brownies has Jiho on his knees and ready to ease your stress
→ Genre: smut, oral (f receiving), pussy drunk! Jiho (my favorite 🤤), fingering, squirting, overstimulation, Jiho is a tease
→ Warnings: none!
→ Word Count: 1,887
→ Notes: Jiho munch agenda was strong for this one… also I had a lowkey lightbulb moment for this fic because I was baking brownies and thought this would be perfect + I love the idea of kitchen sex
→ Here's a link to all my other masterlists!
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Trays, everywhere. You were on your fourth batch of brownies, each one tasting slightly different, but not exactly to how you needed them to. You were stressed to say the least. You had a specific order for a pretty big name celebrity in your area that was willing to pay beyond what you charge for a specific flavor of brownies.
You had many offers recently, when a popular influencer tried your baked goods and promoted them on their platforms garnering a bunch of attention to your little baking side hustle. You hadn’t expected so many people to reach out, so when you started getting an influx of orders, you knew you had to be diligent when picking your clients.
When this one order came through, you were over the moon. This celebrity and their company was very well known for trying new food places for their extravagant events, essentially making or breaking the vendors they chose to work with. You were honored for the opportunity, but the stress slowly ate away at you the longer you tried to perfect this brownie recipe. You only had 4 days to perfect the recipe, make about 200 brownies, and make the trip to deliver these brownies to the venue.
The different smells wafting through your kitchen were giving you a headache, much to the opposite your boyfriend felt upon walking through the doors of your apartment.
“Baby? It smells amazing in here! Are you baking brownies?”
His cheery voice perks up your ears, already envisioning the smile on his face as he makes his way towards the kitchen. And you’re not wrong when you turn around, dirtied apron and hair falling out of the bun you had it up in.
“Just a couple…”
He’s taken aback at the sheer amount of the chocolate confection resting on every counter in the kitchen.
“Are you feeding a whole village? What’s with all the brownies?”
He finds his sass charming, and usually you would too, but today was not the day for it. You sigh, pulling out the newly baked batch of brownies and setting them down to cool for a bit. You throw your mitts onto the counter, resting both hands against the edge and leaning over it, blowing the stray hairs out of your face.
“I have this HUGE order for the really big celebrity I was telling you about and I just can’t get this recipe right! There’s something missing and I just can’t figure out what it is! I don’t have much time to figure it out and I’m just so stressed…”
You huff out a breath, a small weight lifting off of your shoulders as you hear Jiho walk up behind you, arms around your waist and pulling you into his embrace. He places feather-light kisses against your neck and jaw, warm breath fanning your ears. You place one of your hands over his, squeezing his digits softly.
“You should take a break baby, you’re gonna go crazy if you keep going like this.”
His voice was soothing but his words went in one ear and out the other. You turned around to face him, met with his signature bright smile that complimented his bright, long hair. Your hands lay firm on his chest, lightly gripping the material of his shirt.
“I can’t take a break! I don’t have much time to figure out this recipe and this event could make or break my career! I don’t have time to stop I don’t have time to rest. I need to figure out what‘s missing!”
Jiho knew that in moments like these, arguing and trying to get you to comply wouldn’t work well in his favor. So instead, he offered a different idea.
“Why don’t I help you out a little? Ease your tension a bit? Offer some stress relief, if you will.”
It was your turn to smile bright. This is exactly why you loved your boyfriend so much! Always so willing to help without you even having to ask him for it.
“Oh my lord you are the best! Okay if you could start with measuring out the flour for the next batch that would be amazing!”
He chuckled at your enthusiasm which left you slightly confused. You were even more confused when he abruptly pulled you closer, connecting your lips with his in a, quite literally, breathtaking kiss. You had no time to react, the grip you had on his shirt tightening as his fingers ever-so-slightly dig into the skin of your waist.
“That’s not the kind of help I was offering, though, if you still need it after this I would be more than happy to.”
His kisses trail down your jaw to your neck, tilting your head to the side to make more room for him to kiss out of habit.
“Wait but Jiho, I don’t have time!”
He sucks at a particular spot he knows you enjoy, smirking against your skin when a small gasp leaves your mouth, fingers making their way down the front of your leggings.
“Tell me to stop then, if you really don’t have the time.”
His fingers slowly rub your clit through your panties, a shiver running up your spine as your lip is caught between your teeth, a hiss escaping through the gap as you try to hold back another sound.
He reconnects his lips with yours, eating up your little moans and whimpers when his fingers reach in between the tiny fabric of your panties, cold fingers making contact with your wet hole. He speaks in between breathes,
“C’mon baby… you said… you don’t have time right?”
He dips his fingers into your hole playfully, smiling against your lips when more whimpers travel from your mouth to his.
“Jiho… please…”
He doesn’t even have to ask what you need before plunging two fingers inside, you squeezing his arm tight as he works slowly. He uses his free hand to pull your pants down, the cool air hitting your now bare bottom half. He kneels down on the floor, fingers continuing to pump in you as he helps discard your leggings fully. He pulls his fingers out as you whine, looking down at him and watching how his eyes sparkle when they meet yours, seductively licking your juices clean from his fingers.
“I swear you taste better every time.”
You’re about to speak when he roughly hooks his arms over your legs, dragging you square onto his face. You gasp at the way his nose bumps your clit, already holding back moans when you feel the tip of his tongue tease your wet hole.
“What’s wrong babe? Aren’t you gonna tell me you’re too busy for me to help you?”
You violently shake your head ‘no,’ the feeling of his breath against you too intoxicating to give up at this current moment. You can’t even speak, not realizing until now how stressed you actually were, how much tension was on your mind. Not wanting to prolong your pleasure any longer, Jiho drags his tongue flat against your slit, moving you along his face, the vibrations of his laugh when you try to clamp down on his head running through your body like a marathon.
“Mhmm… Jiho…”
You can’t help the way your hips involuntarily move against his face, the warm feeling of his tongue mixed with the electrifying sensation of his nose bumping your clit enough to make you lose your mind in seconds. You feel his excess saliva combined with your slick drip down your thighs, a particularly loud moan falling past your lips when you feel his tongue snake its way by your hole.
“Fuck, Jiho!”
Your hips move against his smirk, gripping his hair tight as he stops moving you, letting you grind yourself down on his face, letting you use his face for your pleasure. The build up is fast, his hands coming up to grip the flesh of your ass, using them to drag you along his face even harder.
The knot in your stomach continues to tighten quickly, moans and whimpers slipping past your lips like a second language. Jiho already knows that you’re on the verge, your movements becoming sloppy and tired. Your body is going limp from exhaustion, your climax approaching too quickly for your brain to register.
“Fuck baby, give it to me. Let me see how sweet you taste.”
His words are the last push you need before you’re spilling into his mouth, the taste of your fluids the only thing he needs to stay alive. You’re panting heavy, wincing at the sensitive feeling spreading throughout as he licks you clean. But he’s not done yet.
He continues slurping at your cunt like it’s his last meal, the obscene sounds of excess wetness making your face impossibly hotter. You try to pull away, the over stimulation causing you to cry out in sensitivity, only for Jiho to yank you back down onto his face.
“Aww c’mon my love, I’m only just getting started~”
His tone is too sweet for how lewd the sounds coming from his mouth are, sucking and slurping you up like candy. With your second orgasm approaching quickly, you barely have the energy to push him away, not that you want to because it doesn’t feel good but because the speed at which your orgasm is building is too fast for you to process.
However, this feeling in your stomach is different, not like the orgasms you’re used to having, and Jiho can sense it. The way your walls are pulsating around his tongue, flicking it in and out of you while traveling up to your clit every now and again to give her attention as well, he can tell that you’re about to cum harder than usual.
“Let it go… need to taste you more…”
This time you cum with a scream, liquid running out of you in splashes against his face, fluids soaking his chin and creating a mess around you. He doesn’t even care that his knees are aching from being pressed into the hard tiled floors, too lost in the taste of your squirt to acknowledge his own pain, not to mention the raging boner straining against his jeans at this very moment.
You almost double over, still sitting on Jiho’s face as you try your best to catch your breath. Jiho can’t help himself though, running his tongue up your thigh to catch any runaway juices, lapping at your cunt once again to drink up any he might’ve missed. You jump again at his actions, actually too overstimulated to let him continue. He eases you off of his face carefully, making sure to hold you as your legs shake. He sits down properly, back hitting the body of the counter as you lay your head against his chest, not missing the feeling of his hard on pressing against your thigh.
He moves the hair out of your face, smiling when he leans down to kiss you, a mix of your cum and his saliva infiltrating your mouth. Another lewd moan shoves its way past your lips and into his, his hips involuntarily jerking up into your thigh.
“Soooo if you had enough time for this, you think you have enough time for a little bit more?”
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→ Here's a link to all my other masterlists!
-> Post Note: my first ampers&one fic! and also the kickstart (get it) of, what I'm calling, the ✨series! ✨series is a series of asks sent by ✨, one of the main people that got me into writing for the ampies in the first place! Everyone say thank you to ✨ <3
❪ 滑る ❫ fluff est. rs semi-secret relationship jiho x f!reader 604 cw ノ kissing, not proofread 〃 ♡ ⸝⸝⸝ my sweet lovely jiho :( most precious boy his hair rn ???? crazy / 𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄
There's something addicting about fooling andears in plain sight. You're always active on your boyfriend's Weverse page under a generic username: Purple_Jihos. To the unsuspecting eye, you're just a lucky fan who keeps getting noticed by their ult bias. You've even become somewhat of a famous fan amongst andears, at least on Weverse. Everyone jokes about how you attract Jiho's replies like a magnet. You've even been brought up in lives before.
In reality, each Weverse comment is sent while you're sitting right next to him. You watch his reaction each time he's scanning the feed for comments sent under your user. It's like a game. How many hints can you drop without seeming suspicious, and how many comments can your boyfriend find in the sea of andears with similar usernames to you?
It's a risky business. You both know what the possible consequences could be if fans found out and didn't like the fact that Jiho isn't single—no matter how dumb the argument was. You are never too obvious. You always stay within a safe territory. Your comments require the knowledge of the many inside jokes and references you and Jiho have built up over the years. You haven't just been his girlfriend for the past three years; you were his best friend long before that as well. You know him inside out, better than anyone else, and you love to play into it.
You're feeling bolder today for some reason—maybe its because Jiho forgot to give you a kiss this morning and you feel personally wronged by it. Obviously, you could just ask him for one outright, or even steal a few from him at any moment, but you decide it's more fun to write a comment instead.
Purple_Jihos: Jiho! Good morning >< I think you might have forgotten something?
You watch Jiho's eyebrow raise when he finds the comment. You're cuddling on the couch before he has to leave for work. It's been a slow morning, one that you know will end too soon for your liking. Your legs are swung over his lap, comfortably reclined as he rubs his hand up and down them.
↳ 지호: Oh? I had breakfast tho? 😄
↳ Purple_Jihos: You forgot to receive my love for you 😤
There are already andears replying to your post, laughing at the cute interaction, but you see Jiho tilt his head, considering your response a bit deeper. You wouldn't say that out of nowhere—he must have actually forgotten something somehow.
He glances at you. You're already staring right back at him, waiting for him to realize his wrongdoings of the morning, however unserious they are. It takes a few seconds for it to click. Something had felt off this morning, like he hadn't done something important. Of course, it involved your lips.
"Morning kiss? Is that it?" Jiho asks. He's studying your expression carefully as if he has to uncover the secrets of what he's still missing, even though he already figured it out. Cotton candy pink hair frames his cheeks and eyes. He's irresistible. "It's not too late for it yet. It's only 11:40—that's still morning!"
His logic is adorable. So is the slight pout on his lips, like he's silently pleading for you to forgive him for his forgetfulness. You kiss the pout right off his lips, and he hums in content.
"I think I deserve double since you were so late," you mumble against his lips, hands tangled in his hair. He's quick to oblige you as you both lose track of time.
You're interrupted by his phone ringing. It's Kamden.
Showering with Kammy is sweet and loving. He is a very shy guy so you will always have to initiate showering with him. He will wash your hair and body with such a gentle touch, as if you were made of glass. Doesn’t expect for the favor to be returned and gets surprised when you offer to bathe him. Overall, he is so sweet and gentle with you.
Brian:
Brian would always ask and hint at showering together, but when you finally agree he gets very shy. Once he feels your body press against his in the steamy shower he completely relaxes and melts into your touch. He almost forgets that the point of showering together is to wash yourself because he is just so happy holding onto you. He is also a huge sucker for massages, so once you press into his tense shoulders he is putty in your hands.
Jiho:
No appropriate thoughts through this man’s head. What do you mean he gets to be completely bare with you in such an intimate way? As soon as you offer to shower together he starts stripping right where he stands (Jiho please get to the bathroom first). He really does try to be a gentleman but how can he not control himself when he sees your soft skin wet and soapy. Jiho will insist he wash you but he will just spend a little too much time caressing your chest and thighs to see how you lean into his touch.
Siyun:
We all know Siyun takes his sweet time in the shower, so when you offer to join him (because you’re tired of waiting for him to finish) he is a little hesitant. He views showering as “me time,” but once you’ve convinced him he will never look back. Turns out he absolutely adores having you so close. He will definitely include you in his shower concerts making you the perfect duet partner. Most times you will finish your shower and let him finish up on his own while you do your skin care.
Kyrell:
Sweetest boy Kyrell would give you his signature wide smile when you suggest showering together. This angel would remove every article of clothing off of you, run the water to the temperature of your liking, and help you into the shower before he undresses himself. He gets so shy when you compliment his muscles but how can you not? He would take his time washing your hair and gives a mean scalp massage. He is a very genuine and tender lover and he prides himself on taking care of you.
Mackiah:
Showering with Mackiah will always end up in belly laughs together. He is a very silly guy so best believe he will make even the most intimate moments a giggle fest. Please wash his hair for him he would swoon for you so bad. Aegyomaster5000 over here would pull out all the cuteness to get your attention while you wash your hair. This man knows no personal space so he will be pressed into you the entire time. If you try to push him away he will fake cry until you let him reattach himself to your back.
Seungmo:
Seungmo definitely is the one asking to shower with you when he is in his clingy mood (almost always). He keeps a respectful distance from you but his eyes stay locked on you the whole time. He will playfully complain if you shower in too hot of water, but will pout if you ask him to move out of the water so you can rinse out your shampoo. He is also a huge goofball and cracks jokes to make you laugh. He loves when you play with his hair and make silly hairstyles with his soapy hair.
★ summary: what happens when your relationship with your best friend hits a critical point? do you think there's salvation or is it just time to let him go?
★ wc: 13.1k words
★ warnings: lowk angst, jiho is lowk toxic and possessive but its not the worst, alcohol consumption and smoking. they are both stupid and should talk it out
★ n/a: i have realized i find myself extremly entertaining. i love rereading my own fics i fear
★ permanent tag list: @blubb0 send an ask or leave a comment to be added!
★ fic tag list: @doobinnies @lijeons @rockinrebelyay
You turned on your bed, tossing your book onto the mattress as you turned to look at Minju, your roommate, who's currently typing away on her computer, cramming for the last test of exam seasons, meaning that after this week, you were free for all of the next month, you free to fool around all you wanted.
“The guys are throwing an “end of first exams” party” you inform as you turn her chair around, earning yourself a groan from the girl. The guys in question were your friends, a bunch of “brothers” over at the Alpha Mu Omega frat, they were the most normal version you could get of them, but they were still frat boys, so while you really loved them, and they were the some of the nicest people you had known, they came with the added torture of having to go get your car washed by them and their half naked brothers, being forced to participate in their projects and attend their parties.
“You just want to go see Jiho,” she complains, and you don't even try to correct her. Right.
Jiho.
He was your best friend, you had met in orientation when you asked Brian, one of his friends, where the secretary of student affairs, since you had trouble validating your high school diploma. He interrupted your conversation, and with the flirtiest tone a man could muster offered to lead you there. You had been warned of guys like him, pretty boys with the ego worthy of a Greek god, but when you saw him, you honestly couldn't care less. He pulled all the stops, trying to secure a place for his number in your contact list. You didn't budge, thanking him with the most awkward smile you could offer, before leaving him standing there, in the hallway. That only fueled his determination, since he seemed to infiltrate every aspect of your life. First it was discovering he was living on the same floor as you, much to your demise, then it was tagging along with your new friends, even if he wasn't in the same course. It was only a matter of time till you two actually became friends, leaving that weird tension behind. Or so you thought. Looks would last longer than needed, fleeting touches would linger, always seeming to find a way to be just the two of you. It seemed like everyone was aware of it but you two.
It wasn't like you didn't find him handsome, and you would be lying if you said his personality wasn't attractive. But that was just Chejo, your best friend. By now, he had pulled countless all-nighters with you, cramming for finals, seen you in health and sickness, even that time you had to go to class with the flu since you couldn't afford to miss it, he was waiting there with mint tea, even if he had classes on the other side of campus. Simultaneously, you had seen him flirt with almost every other girl on campus, and held his hair as he threw up after their frat parties. And while your relationship had started with him trying to flirt with you, he did that with everyone! you weren't special, and you really hit it off as friends right after, so you tried to not let it get to your head. He was just being friendly.
A knock on the door takes you out of your thoughts, and Minju goes to open the door, letting Kyrell and Siyun in.
“We knew you got the invite and since you haven't responded yet, even if you left me on read this morning, we are here to inform you that you are coming,” Kyrell says, sitting beside you on the bed as Siyun sits on your desk chair besides your roommate, who looks confused to the max.
“What are you even doing in the building? You don't even live here?” She said accusingly, and she was right. He lived in the building beside the econ building, the one that didn't have working elevators during the move-in week, which you remember every time you go up the stairs, forever scared of getting trapped in it.
“Oh we were hanging out with Jiho, he's just getting you some drinks” he says, mocking tone at the last parts. You ignore his teasing, choosing to focus on the conversation Minju and Siyun are having about the new recruits of the frat, study long forgotten.
It's a matter of time before Jiho lets himself in, making himself home “For the pretty lady” he says, handing you a dr. pepper, your favorite drink. He hands Minju a diet coke, before moving Kyrell from his place on your bed, just to sit beside you.
“You are going, right?" He says as he settles down, his hand going to rest just behind you, his whole body turning to face you.
“Where?” you say, playing dumb. He probably wouldn't find it funny that the others had invited you first, claiming it was his duty and right as your best friend to be the one to inform you.
“To the initiation party, we have some new recruits you will like,” he says, stealing a sip from your drink.
“Any handsome one?” you joke, grabbing your can back, hands barely brushing.
“Not more than me” he teases, winking.
“That's not that hard of a challenge, y'know" you retort, sticking your tongue out.
“Common, no one is hotter than me” he jokes, flashing you a thousand watt smile, and you would never give him the satisfaction of agreeing with him, even if you were lying to yourself about it, his ego didn't need more stroking.
“I don't know, Keeho is pretty hot” You say a little too loud, gaining yourself the attention of the rest of the group, you fluster, suddenly ashamed about your out of pocket comment.
“We heard he asked for your number the other day” Kyrell questions, making Minju exclaim a ‘girllllll’ as she looks at you, shocked about the news.
“What did he want?” Jiho frowned, he couldn't understand why his frat president needed to talk to you, out of all people. The way he sat straighter, turning to look at you made the other boys let out a giggle.
“It was nothing, just needed help for the last bake sale” you remind him “Needed extra hands, and I agreed”
“I would give him all the hands he needs if you get what I mean” Minju comments from her corner, making you laugh as you agree with her.
“Why didn't you tell me?” there it was. While your friendship was strictly platonic, there always were these types of slips, of “what ifs”, of possessiveness over something you didn't own. The kind that makes your heart skip a beat, and your mind race when you try to go to sleep.
“Common, Chejo. It wasn't a big deal” you say, pushing his shoulder slightly “You were busy with class, and he just needs extra help. It's not like any of you know how to actually bake”
“Next time tell me” he says, although it comes out more like an order, and you know you better follow it if you want to keep the peace.
“Okay..” you answer awkwardly, making eye contact with Siyun who stares at you with a raised eyebrow. You shrug.
Later that night, as you are reading the last pages of your book while Minju doomscrools on her bed, you hear her say.
“Its not normal for him to be jealous of you interacting with his friends”
“Its Jiho, he's just like that”
“He’s not like that with any of his other girl friends,”
“Well we are best friends”
“Best friends don't do that either” she says, plugging her phone into the charger “just think about it” and with that, she clocked out for the day. She turns around, facing the wall as she goes to sleep, a sleepy goodnight leaves her lips to which you hum in return, too occupied trying to shush your running thoughts about a certain boy with the last pages of your book.
You liked Wednesdays because it meant having lunch with Hana, Brian's girlfriend. You weren't the closest of friends but you very much got along, even going as far as considering her part of your little group.
As you finish your lunch, varying between class assignments and fraternity events, it seemed like you two were honorary members, with how often you ended up merged in their schemes.
“I don't know how to decorate Brian’s cooler this year” she complains, resting her head on her hands “what are you doing for Jiho this year?”
You choke on your food “What? I'm not decorating Jiho’s?” you say. Usually, that was a task given to their girlfriends, as a way of making them feel included in their world and traditions.
“Oh but last year you made that design, I thought you would do something new this year?”
Right. Last year, during a hangout at his dorm you had doodled on it. You didn't think a shitty neo tribal and a monster sticker was in pair with the master pieces the other girls had done, led lights included, nor were you trying to replicate your one time masterpiece.
“That was just a dumb thing. I'm not making him a frat cooler” you say, maybe a little meaner that intended “It’s not like that between me and Chejo”
“Oh” she lets out, “I'm sorry, I just assumed”
“Don't worry, we get that a lot” you laugh it off. She laughs along still, confused, but the conversation shifts on what she was planning to do on the cooler this year, and just for once, you let yourself think about how cool (pun intended) it would be to do that for someone. Maybe you should try to get back into the dating scene.
Baking sales meant chaos on the frat house, and for once, you were actually thankful none of your friends had chosen the option to live there.
If there was one thing you considered worse than lab days, was having to organize a bake sale for a fraternity. You weren't even a part of it, but had gotten yourself involved with way too many brothers for you to go scat free during fundraiser week. It always had been a tradition for your uni to have a month for the sororities and fraternities to come along and have charity events, all profits headed towards diverse local causes. A noble initiative from your college. But what is Greek life without a little friendly competition? So soon it turned into which siblinghood could raise the most money, and then into what punishment would the loser get. Every year they get rowdier with bigger events, and even bigger donations. This time, you had been recruited with the task of forcing the newer members of your little Greek brotherhood that you didn't sign up for to make a short ton of cookies to sell. So with Mackiah, Seungmo, Soul and Jongseob in tow, you start the tedious task of baking, trying to prevent the dough from vanishing into thin air and one of them dying from salmonella poisoning.
After a few tortuous hours, you finally get to join the older ones outside, all with different levels of tiredness from finishing their respective chores for the day. They are sitting around the faux bonfire, drinking and having a quiet chat.
"There she is," Jiho says, smiling widely as he pats the space beside him, and you don't doubt he saved it specially for you. "We still have all four of them, right?" He teases, knowing how rowdy the younger boys could get, as he passes you his beer bottle.
You nod, deciding to listen to the conversation, overstimulated after the yapping marathon you had just survived. Between Mackiah and Jongseob, you didn't know who spoke the most but damn it seemed like no one could keep up with both of them.
"You are not dying your hair blonde, Brian" his girlfriend complains from her place on his lap, her hands playing with the dark strands of his natural hair, as she argued against the bleach.
"Oh common, we all are doing it!" Kyrell argued from across the place.
"You all are doing what?" You ask, lost on what they were talking about.
"We all are bleaching our hair if we lose this year's comp." Jiho explains, using the moment to put his arm around you "Would you still love me if i was bleach blonde?" He asks, in his best damsel in distress voice. That action, and the way he looked at you, a certain fondness everyone but you seemed to notice, caught the attention of your respective roommates, who decided that this was more interesting than the lovers quarrel happening beside them.
"Ew no, I don't like blondes" you say, faking disgust.
"Wasn't your ex blonde?" Minju comments from a distance, clearly enjoying throwing wood to the fire as she smiles mockingly, taking a sip of her drink.
"I don't see how that's relevant" you say, faking nonchalance as you steal Jiho’s beer again, taking another sip. You don't miss the way he analyzes your face, as if trying to find a sign of it to be a joke, any sign that it meant more.
"Oh so there are exceptions?" He teases, clearly enjoying your flustered state. You hadn't expected Minju to pull that card out, that traitor.
"Sometimes. When I deem them worthy" you answer, trying to keep up with his teasing tone, even wiping your lip with your thumb, not missing the way his eyes fixate on the movement.
"Oh I would make it so worth it" he mumbles. Almost a whisper. Like a confession. And you react the most logical way.
Pushing his shoulder and telling him he is so funny. And you miss how the collective of people around the bonfire mentally face palm at another failed attempt of getting you two together.
If there was something no one warned you about having a friend group of mostly young men was the amount of dumb bullshit you had to witness. Sure, sometimes it was actually necessary things they dumbed down, like the time they tried get a couch onto the third floor, failing miserably in diverse tries, but sometimes, like today, you had to worry if they were just really stupid, cause none of them told you why they thought setting up a what basically was log rolling as a fund raiser was a good idea. Not all of them were participating, seemingly some of them were aware of the mortality of their own bodies, but your favorite one seemed to be lacking that update.
You would have liked to be able to say that your boys weren't the ones doing the fighting, that they were smart and were sitting beside you, drinking and laughing as bodies hit the water under them, but no. You see Jiho and Mackiah, the newest of the bunch, climb onto the log and grab their weapons, you can't help but let out a disappointed sigh from your place in the shadows.
You see how they pick and choose which pairing would go next, going around and collecting bets that were placed in favor of, and you reluctantly put ten for Jiho. You weren't willing to listen to his whining if he heard about how you bet against him, even if you did think Mackiah had the upper hand in this one. As they stand on the now wet log, you can't help but let your eyes wander over the older boy. You knew he had been working out, and had seen some of the results of it over time, sometimes when he ‘accidentally’ sent you gym pics, sometimes when he just existed, even if you would have to be waterboarded for you to accept checking him out. But now, under this pretext, you can let your eyes shamelessly wander over his figure, wet shirt sticking over his chest, highlighting his efforts. Blow goes blow comes, and you have to admit they lasted way longer than one would think. In a sudden move, Jiho gets the upper hand in a swift hit to the other knee, successfully taking the other boy down. Sadly, his victory is short lived, as in the way down, Mackiah hits his face with the end of the pole, bringing him down with him.
You wince when he hits the bottom of the pool, relieved once he pops back up, laughing and high fiving the younger. Moments later, you have both of them towering over you, droplets falling on your legs as they chatter excitedly, the adrenaline still rushing in them.
"You are bleeding," you inform Jiho, squinting your eyes as you try to focus on his face. He has a small cut on his cheek, where the younger boy had hit him. He raises his hand, lightly wincing at the touch. "You have to get that cleaned"
"Come with me?" You sigh, getting up, you needed a drink refill anyway. You head inside the frat house, a way too pretty of a building for it to be doomed in enormous parties and constant chaos. He leads you to the main bathroom, where the first aid kit lived, plenty stocked to survive the men that occupied the house. He sits on the countertop, waiting for you to grab the iodine.
It's a pretty shallow cut, but you still wanted to make sure it was properly taken care of, and if you left them to their devices they would a hundred percent just pour vodka on it and call it a day. You use a cotton ball, trying to ignore the closeness and his wandering eyes.
“You should be more careful” You say, trying to cut the tension that has fallen between the two of you.
“How else would I get to be treated with my favorite nurse” he teases, smiling. His hands make their way onto your waist, something more common in your relationship that you would ever admit.
“Hanging out with me shouldn't be your self harm goal” you say, as you feel his hands move to the hem of your shorts, resting on top of the pockets. Way too comfortable of a move from your so alleged bestie.
“If it gets you this concerned over me, it's worthy” He mumbles, and you could feel his breath against your lips. Again, something that you would ever admit to your friends that happened.
“Next time I hope you break your nose” you joke, pressing an iodine wet pad to his wound, making him wince and squeeze your waist ever so slightly, "I'm not crowdfunding a nose job once you finally get what's coming for you”
“Common, I don't think any of them has it in them” he says, referring to the guys in his frat and the innate ability they had of organizing more dangerous activities they possibly could.
“I highly doubt it will be any of them” you comment. “You probably will just flirt with the wrong girl and get your ass handed back to you.”
“Dont think so” he says, making eye contact “I already have my eyes on a girl”
You don't even answer, deciding the smart thing to do was ignore his comment, throwing the used cotton. That answer had settled a small doubt in your mind, but you won't worry about it right now, way more interested in not falling to your desire for the boy in front of you.
“As good as new” you tell him, his hands leaving a quick squeeze to your waist before standing up, closing the space between you two even more.
“Thanks pretty,” he says pressing a quick kiss to your cheek, “We should get back before they get the wrong idea"
You thought frat car washes were something that only happened in movies. That there was no way someone would trust a bunch of boys with their cars. But after being quoted around fifty bucks for the simplest package at the only establishment in town, you realized that maybe the frat wasn't that bad, even less when you actually knew the guys, and would probably get the job done without wasting a cent on it.
You pull up in your car. A second hand beauty that you had gotten after working your ass off for a few summers working diverse jobs. You loved it, loving having a physical reminder of all the hard work you did. Since you loved it so much, you were starting to regret your place of choice since as you drive in, you see Intak and Mackiah trying to dry a poor car using a very wet Seungmo as a towel, sliding him around the car, much to his complaints.
Before you can turn and bolt out of the place, you hear a knock on the passenger side window.
“Is there anything I can do for the pretty lady?” Jiho asks as you open the window, leaning against the door.
“Let her leave?” you half joke, now contemplating if saving those fifty dollars was worth sacrificing your car’s integrity.
“I don't think so” he teases “I like the view way too much to let go that easily” he winks, making you rethink just how bad you wanted to throw that goddamn sponge at him.
He walks around the car, opening the car for you like the gentleman he is, and opens the door, you take a minute admiring the view of him, in jean shorts and a slightly wet tanktop. God, you weren't the strongest soldier.
You hand him the keys to your car, getting out, not before threatening his physical integrity if something happened to your baby, to which he had the completely platonic answer of “as long as you do it, I probably will love it” with the nastiest smile a man could muster. You were starting to get why Minju insisted it wasn't a normal best friend relationship.
You sit at the table that was working as the cash register, where keeho and kamden, the frat vice president, were in charge of the money. You sit besides them, chatting about midterms and professors for the next semester. After enough time has passed to have you sweating your ass off under the afternoon sun, you offer to go get some beverages from inside.
As you head back, coke cans in tow, you are intersected by a taller man. You knew him, Sion from Nu Xi Tau frat, or something like that. Your relationship, although you wouldn't even call it that, was barely existing, having played one game of beerpong at a party and just cordially greeted each other ever since.
"How have you been? I haven't seen you around in calculus?" He asks, smiling as friendly as ever, clearly not noticing your freezing hands from the contact with the aluminum.
"Oh yeah, I have been cramming for exams and I just... forgot about attendance," you joke, gesturing with your hands.
"Well if you need anything just send me a text. I can lend you my notes if you want to"
"That would be awesome, just let me..." you say, balancing the cans on one hand as you pull your phone out of your pocket, opening your contacts for him to input his number.
A wave of water falls upon you. Well mostly on Sion, but you still got your fair share.
Weird, since it was the sunniest day of the year, and rain didn't fall like a bucket being emptied on you. And there you see it. Your very own Poseidon, since it seemed like he could control water now, jogging towards you.
"Sorry about that" Jiho says, with the same smile reserved for trying to buy time, to get out of trouble, shaking his head to get the water out of his hair.. "Brian tried to get me wet but it seems like he missed" he adds, earning himself a 'that's a lie' from the older boy in the background, which he promptly ignores.
You have no time to answer before he basically does it himself "Let me help you with that. It was nice seeing you too" he tells Sion, grabbing two of the cans of your hand, wasting no time to put his arm around you, pulling you with him to the security of his frat, where he knew no one would try to flirt with you.
"Saved by the bell, weren't you?" He comments, pulling you even closer, and you feel the water previously dripping off his clothes seep into your own, much to your disgust.
"You are making me wet, Chejo" you complain, trying to push him off.
"Oh I bet I could make you wetter" he murmurs, teasing tone in his voice, wrapping his arms around you, hugging you and shaking his head, maximizing the amount of droplets that fall onto you. After he's satisfied with the amount of water on your being, he resumes his path, his arm around your shoulder, dragging you along.
It wasn't something new for him to be this touchy with you, but, for the first time, you realized how possessive it came off. Doing all of this in front of one of your university's most attractive guys, a single one at that, was an attitude you could only deem worthy of a male peacock.
He drops you off at the checkout, once again with Kamden and Keeho, who seem thoroughly entertained with the blatant display of jealousy their friend had just put on, not wasting a minute.
“Need a towel for that?” Kamden teases, cracking open the can with a mocking smile.
“I can think of a few things they need and none of it is another piece of fabric…” Keeho comments, earning a loud laugh from Kamden and a slap to his arm from you. “Ouch! I didn't say anything that wasn't true.”
“All of that for getting you drinks” you complain “Raise crows and they will peck your eyes out”
You loved baking. Bake sales didn't have the same luck. Even less when the sellers were young men who had a bottomless appetite. Thank god you had been saved from being involved with the selling part, having done your little grain of sand a few days ago when you had baked a thousand cookies with the freshman, a number that had declined after these few days had passed, even if no sales had been made. Weird, huh?
Even if you had no plans of buying anything, already sick of the vanilla smell permeating everyone around you during the last few days, you dropped by, after all every one of your friends was tangled somehow in this.
As you approach the table, you hear your name called by a girl, one you have seen around before, but have no idea who or why she was here, even less calling you over.
“It's really nice to finally meet you!” she says, pulling you into a side hug, way too comfortable for someone you didn't know the name of. She was accompanied by Jiho, who received a questioning stare from you, only to respond by shrugging his shoulders, looking uncomfortable. Weird.
“It's nice to meet you too…” you say, not even knowing her name, but she was acting as if you were the bestest of friends. You had always been a friendly person, but this was crossing over a line even with you.
“I'm Nayeon, Jiho's project partner” She explains, shooting a complicit stare to Jiho, that looks like he wants the earth to swallow him whole. “He has talked so much about you, I wanted to meet the legend”
She seems like a really nice girl, and you can't help but feel really bad about finding her so annoying. Also what was she going on about, and why were you implicated in it was a mystery to you
“Oh, I didn't know he had a new project” you say, weirded out about him not telling you about her or the project. Why was he keeping other girls a secret now? and why wasn't he telling you about the projects he had? He always showed you the things he was working on, why was it now that it was with her, the time he didn't? “It was nice seeing you two, but I have to get to my next class” you say, setting free from her grip.
“Let me walk you there” Jiho shoots up. Oh so now he can talk.
“There's no need, I'm taking Hana with me so you will need the extra hands” you say, waving to the girl who has been handling the sells since this morning, having shot you a text to come free her, and you complied like a good friend “And I wouldn't want to cut short your hangout, it was really nice meeting you, Nayeon”
You greet them goodbye, escaping the hectic stand with your tired friend, who is complaining about the boys and the lack of help from her boyfriend, something you barely pay attention to, consumed by your thoughts on why he seemed so uncomfortable with Nayeon meeting you, as if almost ashamed.
Jiho had been acting weird the last few days. You couldn't pinpoint exactly what about him was off, but everyone could tell. The confirmation had come in your roommate asking if he had finally confessed and if your rejection was the reason why he wasn't dropping by as often as he did before, something that had been bothering but were too afraid to confess. You had periods of time where you both were distanced, usually around exam season, but never had it been like this. If you spoke to him or texted him he would answer, but he never initiated, and it seemed like he was always busy when you proposed a plan to do.
You couldn't have chosen a worse time for you to have fought, even if it couldn't be considered a fight. You were expected to attend every event they had been doing, and you hadn't cussed having the same friend group as much as now.
You arrive with Minju, hours earlier than the starting time of the dance-a-thon. You decide to stick with her, hanging out with Siyun and Kyrell instead of going straight to Jiho, whose stare you can feel burning your side.
You spend the evening with the other guys, helping set up the participants, trying to maintain your mind occupied from the boy that was currently ignoring you. That was the conclusion you had come to, since once Nayeon had arrived, he had wasted no time tagging along her side, even if he had been too occupied to come to greet you earlier that night.
You should be having a great time, dancing along with your friends and laughing at the try-hards on the dance floor, not trying to make sense of why your best friend suddenly hates you. After spending a few songs, you decide to go sit down.
You settle down on the tables set on the sidelines, wasting no time in snapping a few photos of Kamden, who's now occupying the role of DJ.
“Enjoying the night?” you could recognize that voice anywhere, and probably would have killed to hear it during the past weeks, but honestly, right now, it only soured your mood.
“Something like that,” you answer, as he sits beside you.
“We haven't seen each other in a while” you wanted to sucker punch him. The audacity of the man was unbelievable, after having basically ignored you for weeks he acted like nothing happened.
“Yeah, just have been busy” lies. He had just found a replacement for you, another pretty girl that would have his attention for the year and you would be forgotten to dust, because at the end of the day he was your best friend, while to him, you just were another girl he was trying to get in his bed.
“We have to fix that,” he says teasing, and you can feel the tears threatening to fall from your eyes, “Care to give me a dance?” he asks, extending his hand as an invitation
“Later” you say, rejecting him, and in your attempt to hide your tears you miss the way his face falls “i need to go to the bathroom”
You left him sitting there, and you hope he feels an ounce of the abandonment you felt the last weeks. You move across the different tables, finally reaching the frat house and locking yourself to the first bathroom you can find. You don't know why you are crying, it has never hurt like this. Did it hurt because he never saw you as just a friend, always having his personal scheme, or did it hurt because he was moving on?
After a short cry session and trying to fix your face, you decide to be mature with it, grab the bulls by the horns, and go dance with him, just to get close enough to have an actual talk with him.
You come back to the dance floor, Theo having replaced Kamden in the booth, the music now more lively, more people on the dance floor. You stand by the side, searching for the cause of your pain.
And then you see him, dancing with Nayeon, laughing as he spins her around. It reminds you of you two last year, dancing at the same event, hell even the same place. Maybe it was a rite, maybe next year she would be in your place, realizing that he just never saw her as a friend, never actually liked her, seen her behind a quick fuck. Never wanted her for anything else than a notch on his belt. Or maybe she would have better luck, getting to be her girlfriend.
You send a quick text to your roommate, inventing some poor excuse before leaving the party, deciding to take the long way home.
You didn't like dancing that much anyway. You just did it to be with him.
He didn't know what was happening with you two. He had made it clear in different instances about how he felt about you, how you weren't just friends anymore, and how it has always been like that.
You never were just friends, but never had crossed the friendship line either, being stuck in the middle, in a limbo. Sure, you were the most beautiful girl in his eyes, but you were his best friend. He liked being with you not only for the visuals, but because he loved the banter, your playful side, your personality, you. He had resigned himself to the role of your best friend, much to his pain, but lately, it had become way more harder to pretend he didn't like, hell, even love you, and didn't want to be more than being friends with you. That stunt he pulled with Sion, whom he apologized to later that day, had been a wake up call. People could perceive you, you weren't a product of his imagination confined to his friend group. You were a pretty girl, a smart student and a good friend, it was a matter of time for someone to want to shoot their shot with you.
He was scared. Being honest, while he always made his appreciation of your beauty known to literally everyone around him, he was terrified of the prospect of ruining everything with you. On one hand, you could reciprocate his feelings, and you two could date and everything would be rainbows and sunshine. On the other hand, you could not like him, you probably didn't like him like that, and hate him for the rest of your life, since he would have crossed the very thin line that kept your friendship from blowing over. Yet, he had to think fast, since it was a matter of time for your relationship to still be peaceful, a matter of time for you to find someone else, someone that would occupy the spot he longed for.
Amidst all of this inner dilemma, an angel fell from heaven. Nayeon. A girl completely oblivious to the situation. Someone who would give him the best of both worlds in his problem: an outside opinion and a girl perspective. Thankfully, she seemed like she loved the idea of playing cupid, already excited at the prospect of setting up a couple so expected by everyone (read: his fraternity).
She probably was the person that was more honest with him. From her perspective, you both should take distance from each other, giving him space to help him realize if he really liked you or was it just an infatuation, but deep down, he already knew the answer.
Following her advice seemed like the logical thing to do, but once he's looking around for you, to cash in that dance you owe him, only for him to be informed you left by Keeho of all people, not even wasting your time on letting him know you weren't feeling well in person, he can't help but feel that maybe everything was ruined.
You like partying. You weren't the craziest of the party girls, but you liked to go out a few times a month. Dressing pretty, pregaming with the boys, dancing until your feet ached and after parties with cold pizza were things that formed part of your friend group weekly routine. You had been able to escape the club scene under the pretense of home sickness, but there was no way any of your friends would let you not attend one of their parties. So sadly, you got clad in your pretty dress and boots, and headed there.
“Cheer up! you haven't gotten out in a while,” Minju says, and she's right, succumbing yourself to studying way easier than subjecting yourself to missing a boy. “Maybe Jiho will be here” she adds, trying to cheer you up.
God, you wanted to cry. You couldn't even remember the last time you had spoken with the boy, and yet everyone seemed hellbent on reminding you that you didn't know what had pulled him away, or who.
You arrive at the party, and it's a question of seconds before finding your friend group. It's not like it's a hard thing, given that most of them are built like titans. You greet everyone, but suddenly you feel an arm around you. You were hating this night.
“Hi Chejo” you greet him as if everything was fine, and while he would love to believe that, he wasn't dumb, he could tell by your tone that something was upsetting you.
“Hi pretty, we all missed you last weekend” Yeah, when they had gone clubbing. You had decided rewatching beetlejuice while eating ice cream was a way better plan. “ Some more than others”
You laugh at his comment. “Tell Seungmo I missed him too” you joke about one of the younger members that had been adopted by your friend group, you had gotten along just fine, and had even hung out on campus sometimes. He was like a little brother to you.
“Not him who I'm talking about” he answers, fake annoyance in his tone.
You chat for a few minutes, catching each other up on what your lives were, making your stomach churn. Were all your future interactions going to be like this? with someone that you used to know? you can't think of an answer to that question before he leaves under the pretense of getting you a drink, almost as quickly as he had come.
Five minutes pass, then twenty. You are sure it's been half an hour when you decide to go search for him. You find him with her, and some people you assume are her friends. As you approach, you hear it. ‘You are so funny Chejo’ Nayeon says mid laugh, hitting his shoulder, and the ‘Don't call me that, I don' t like it’ he doesn't waste a minute in answering.
Since when did he not like that nickname? and most importantly, why was she calling him the nickname you gave him. You couldn't think of any person whom you had a relationship with that called him Chejo. And he didn't like it. And he never told you.
You turn around on your heels, darting out of the kitchen. You know why it affects you so much to hear he doesn't like the nickname. That he didn't tell you. Suddenly, every little interaction feels like a big ploy to get you to fall for him, and now that he got bored he moved on. And you are hurt, because that was once your best friend. And you liked him.
You walk aimlessly, ending up in the backyard. You don't even know how you got there, but once you see Mackiah sitting there, smoking what you hope it's a cigarette, you make a beeline for him.
“Looking rough” he comments as you sit beside him, and he's kind enough to offer a drag of his cigarette. You waste no time, snatching it out of his hand.
“Dont even get me started” you say, exhaling the smoke while staring at the sky. It was a pretty night, almost beautiful enough to make you forget the tears about to fall.
“Wanna talk about it?” He asks, taking the cigarette from your hand to take a drag himself.
You shake your head, grabbing the cigarette back from him “Tell me about your frat experience” you ask, not wanting to even think about the boy plaguing your thoughts.
You stay there, hearing him talk about how he decided to go to this uni, his relationship with the boys, the girl waiting for him back home. You smile as he tells you about her, about how she was the prettiest he had ever seen, that doesn't mean you weren't pretty, but you get what he means. You laugh at his nervousness of offending you, palming his back as a sign of understanding.
“Wasn’t me beating your ass at the logs enough that you need to come flirt with my girl?” Jiho says, sitting beside you. Where had he come from you had no idea, and honestly, right now, you couldn't even care less, just thinking of a way to escape from his presence. “Sorry for the delay” he says, handing you a beer bottle.
“Took you long enough,” you say, grabbing the peace offering, and with that, Mackiah decides to make a run for it “And I’m not your girl”
“Common, you know what i mean” he says, a teasing smile on his face. a sight you usually found undeniably attractive now making your stomach churn.
“No, Jiho. I don't know.” you say, setting the barely drank beer on the floor beside you “I don't know why I am ‘your girl’ while you still can go flirt with whoever you want”
“Its not like that”
“Oh but it is” you say, now even more annoyed by how he tried to shift the narrative. “First Sion, then Mackiah. All while you can go flirt with every girl on campus”
“Oh common, it doesn't mean anything. You will always be my favorite one” He jokes, and after the fact is over, he wishes he could have taken you seriously, realizing that this was really an insecurity to you, something he should have taken into account, not mocked in front of you.
“You are right, it doesn't mean anything” you say, getting up. You should have known this conversation was going to go nowhere. At the end of the day, you had been warned of guys like this. And how you wished that you were wrong.
“Don't go. You know I didn't mean it like that” he says, following after you. How fast could you go? He felt like he was running a marathon.
“You never mean it like that, and maybe that's the problem” you say, trying so hard not to cry in front of him.
“What does that even mean? Just calm down, we can talk about this like adults.”
“Like adults I'm telling you, I'm not going to ruin this to be another one of your girls.”
“That's not what I want with you, you are not understanding me”
“Is Nayeon not enough?” you couldn't help the words as they left your mouth, and you regretted asking, not wanting to know the answer. You didn't want to know if now, now that he had gotten bored of you, Nayeon would get the first place. Would she get to do the bake sales, the designated extra chair in his dorm, the company while she studies? will she replace you, now forgotten in the frat, because once she is the official one, why would you still be around?
“What? It's not like that with her," he says, desperate. He can feel you slipping through his fingers, and is afraid of what might happen if he lets go of you completely.
“And it's not like that with her, and it's not like that with me” you say, now full on sobbing. And god how humiliating it was, to be crying in the backyard of a frat party, because you got your heart broken by a stupid frat boy. How cliché. “Because at the end of the day it wasn't like that, and I'm the stupid one to think you weren't exactly what they warned me about”
Jiho doesn't think anything in his life had hurt as much as that moment, and he had his fair share of injuries. Just last week he got hit by a ball dropping from the second story of the house and had to spend the afternoon in the ER. Or that time he broke his collarbone playing basketball when he was fourteen. Even that hurts less than hearing you say those words.
He knew he was playing with fire, acting like nothing was happening between you too. He should have known his luck wouldn't run that far to leave you hanging around, waiting for him to come back with your drinks. He knew his luck was starting to stretch thin when he made that snarky comment to Mackiah, who now reflects upon it as just trying to make you feel better. His luck had started to tear up when the words ‘it’s not like that’ left his mouth.
He didn't know why he acted like this with you, he had his chance, he had made it known from the beginning what he wanted from you. He didn't get it, he was able to see past that, to be around you just as a friend, great! but why couldn't he act normal around you?
Why couldn't he tolerate the idea of other men simply existing around you. He knew Sion probably didn't like you, or at least that's what he confirmed once Nayeon told him he had a boyfriend, Riku, who he loved very much. He knew Mackiah didn't even think about it, he barely registered you as a woman with how hung up he was over his girlfriend back home. So why did it matter so much that you gave them attention once in a while?
He knew the answer. He missed you. He knew you were avoiding hanging out with the group because you didn't want to see him. There was no way you really were homesick and decided to stay alone in the sad dorm room you hated, instead of going to hangout with your friend group. He knew there was no way you would leave a dance a ton early, even if you didn't dance you loved to see the last man standing, finding their adrenaline/ red bull fuelled dancing entertaining, he stills remember last year's.
You had danced with him most of the night, saying you only liked doing it with people who made it worthy, and he swears that's the closest feeling to heaven on earth a man can have. He still can picture your pretty face, colored by the light's reflection, and the way he wanted to kiss you, when you put your arms around his neck, dramatically singing along to whatever song was playing. He really should have kissed you, back then, and told you about how he felt. And maybe now he wouldn't have to see you go, this time I'm not sure there will be a next time, a next chance to see you again, at least not like this, as if you still loved him.
He had kept you in the dark so long of his true feelings, hell, he himself had been in the dark about them for the longest time, or maybe just the time that it takes to realize that it's no longer an infatuation, that it has become something more but he had sealed his fate. Had he talked about it, maybe you would have given him a chance. Or maybe you would have forgiven him. But he was stubborn.
And now he ruined everything.
You hoped he had followed after you, to explain what he meant when he said it wasn't like that, to fix everything. To tell you that it had meant something and that you weren't just another one of his girls. But of course, he didn't. And you had never felt stupider.
You walked all the way to the dorms, not even bothering to tell your friends you left, not wanting to receive an interrogation on what happened, even if by now they probably knew, now finding the show you put on lowkey embarrassing, even more knowing it probably spread like wildfire.
You barely bother getting out of your outfit, not even trying to take off your makeup, the heartache too big for you to feel like a functioning human being.
You liked Jiho. And it had taken you to realize he was a dick for you to accept the feelings. You didn't know what hurt most, if the version you loved of him not existing anymore or the act of losing your best friend. There was no way you were going back after this. Your relationship would never be the same. And that only makes you sob harder, burying your face in the pillow, now stained with mascara and leftover glitter.
Minju: I heard what happened, I'm coming home.
You heard the notification enter, and you hoped it was him, that he was going to magically fix this. But you had to stop believing in fairy tales, that your prince charming wouldn't come. This was reality, where he already had a new girl in mind, and you were left in the past. This was reality, where maybe, you were waiting for the wrong thing, and maybe your prince charming was your friend lending you a shoulder to cry on, letting you curse and cry to the boy. It was the same friend who took off your makeup, and let you sleep on her bed with her. No one died from a broken heart, and Minju would make sure you weren't the first one.
You had been better, but you also had been worse. It had been some days from the party, and you were now ready to face the sun, the life outside your fugly dorm room. You had cried your heart out, cussed his entire bloodline, and had gotten the respective messages from your friend group calling him a dickhead. Which you agreed with, but didn't want them to get involved in something that wasn't their business.
You had decided to not attend the rest of the fraternity events, at least for the time being. While your friends complained, they understood where you were coming from, the wound was too new for it to not be painful. So today, while all of your friends got together for the faux drive in cinema the frat set up, you were staying in, a new book to start reading, and a baked pastry, courtesy of Brian, who felt bad enough of being the cause of your pain, even if you explained to him that you would have met the real culprit one way or another, he still felt slightly guilty about it.
Just as you finish the first chapter, the phone rings. It's Kamden, and you find it odd for him to be calling, not only you weren't that close, you were sure by now they probably should have started the movie.
“Hi Kamden, did something happen?” it was awkward to say the least. While you knew the boy and was a part of your friend group, you weren't close enough for a call from him to be anything other than an emergency.
“Our hdmi cable stopped working, Minju says you two have one connected to the tv, is there a chance we can borrow it from the night?” he asks, hurriedly. So fast that you had trouble even understanding him, but alas, you got the message.
“Yeah, do you want me to drive there?” Even if you were purposely not attending, you missed the guys, not having some of them since the divorce (as they had started to call it) happened.
“No need, you can just give it to Jiho, he's still at his dorm” Oh. You were not ready to face him, but hearing his worried tone made you feel bad. Kamden had been in charge of this thing for the last months, and was probably about to rip his hair out. You could be a big girl and face your fears, but he owed you a big one for this.
“Y/n? Are you still there?”
“Yeah yeah, I can give it to him."
Kamden was going to kill him. He had gotten hung up with Nayeon working on the sample and now was running late for movie night. He was supposed to be there like twenty minutes ago, and just now he was finally going to head there. He was about to be murdered.
While he finishes tying his shoes, his mind can't help but drift to you. To that night in specific. And the things you said. Were you wrong about the things you said? He liked to think he wasn't like that, he wasn't the poster child for an emotionally stunted frat boy, but was that the truth? at the end of the day what had he done if not lead you on. He hoped you were there tonight. You hadn't been in the last few hangouts, and everyone acted like it was the most common thing in the world. He felt like he was going crazy, having to get updates of you from the guys, who only answered a meek ‘better’ or ‘fine’, at least they answered. Minju had told him it was none of his business and to ask you himself if he wanted to know that bad. He didn't. Because you were right. At the end of the day, he was a coward.
He hears a knock on the door, maybe Nayeon forgot her books again, he was sure he would have lost her head by now if it wasn't attached to her neck.
“You didn't leave anything here, Nayeon. You should check the library…” he says as he opens the door, stopping mid sentence, shocked.
You.
Standing there.
He had to blink twice to see if it wasn't a hallucination. He wasn't sure you were real up until now.
“Y/n…” he says your name as if afraid that once he finishes it you will disappear.
“Hi Jiho.” you say, and he winces internally. He wasn't Jiho, not to you at least. “Didn't Kamden tell you i was dropping by?” you ask.
“No, no he didn't. More like I didn't check. I'm about to head there.” he over explains signaling to his abandoned phone on the bed, nervousness exuding from every pore in his being “Why are you here? Do you need a ride?” he asks, and he hopes you don't think he doesn't want you here.
“No. I'm not going.” you say, curtly, and you can see how disappointed he is about that piece of information. “I just came to give you a cable, it seems like the one they had burnt out.” you add, handing him the cable, and attempting a fast escape turning on your heels to go back to the comfort of your dorm.
“Are you sure? we are watching Ghostbusters…” he tries to convince you, even if he knows it's a futile attempt. You disregard his try, waving him goodbye while you say next time, even if he's not sure there will be one. He watches you disappear down the hall. Yeah, he fucked up everything .
The whole drive there, Jiho can't get you out of his mind. The way you talked to him, your face, your expression to be more specific. The way you looked at him, he had seen it before. Reserved to people who annoyed you, like the guy who mansplained the class you passed with flying colors that he was retaking. It wasn't a look he had gotten ever from you. And it scared him.
He couldn't get it out of his mind. Not when he arrived at the vacant lot they had occupied for the event, not when he was occupied with ticketing. Not when the movie had started, and he settled beside Brian and Hana, who was cuddled up against her boyfriend once the movie had started and everyone could finally breathe again.
He finds himself admiring the couple as they are fixated on the movie. He feels a pang of jealousy, had you come, had everything been fine, that could be you beside him. Had he not been the stupidest man alive he could be dating you today, or at least still be your friend.
“You have to get your act together man.” he hears the older male say beside him, once the guy registers the trance his friend is in.
“Huh?”
“With y/n. She likes you. You like her. It's that simple.” The male says, and Jiho can't help but wonder if his friend is lowkey stupid. It never was that simple.
“I wish it was. I screwed everything up”
“That you did. That doesn't mean it's beyond salvation.” Brian says, accommodating himself better without bothering Hana too much before adding “Talk with her. If you truly feel what you told us, telling her shouldn't be that hard. Or at least won't be as hard as losing her.”
He hums, he was afraid his friend was right. You two had a pending chat. But now, did he still have a chance on making everything right, on having you forgive him?
Have you always been this hard to catch? Jiho felt like you had stopped existing, transcending into the dream plane, a concept that everyone knew but no one could see. How had you gone from seeing you in every corner of his life to always just missing you. Why were the answers to your location ‘oh she was just here’, she just left or she's coming later. Were you playing a joke on him?
He had tried to find you casually, not to ambush you in your own dorm. He didn't think you would answer his texts if he asked for a chance to speak, deciding that finding you casually was a better way to go. Or maybe he was just afraid that you would just tell him not to contact you anymore, and pushing the rejection until he saw you in person seemed like the easier thing to do.
He tried to give you space. For the last time he asked about you, it seemed like you really were doing better, and he hoped talking with him wouldn't ruin that for you. At the end of the day, he was scared too. He preferred for you to be mad at him for the idea of living without you. He could lose you now or lose you later, the later part being more permanent. Now, he could try to ignore it, and you would be back to the group, the only difference would be the distance within you. Or you could talk now, fight, and possibly never make up. He didn't know what was worse. He didn't think there was an universe where you would forgive him.
His inner monologue was interrupted when the elevator doors opened. He was heading to his dorm after hanging out with Kyrell and Seungmo. They had been no great help when talking about his dilemma, but at least they had let him pour his heart out, even if the younger one didn't refrain from rolling his eyes once at the sheer love sickness.
As the doors slid open he couldn't believe his luck. You are standing there, looking as pretty as ever. He can't decide if this will be a good or a bad thing in the long run, but for now he feels like the luckiest guy alive, to be graced with your presence. You look like an angel fell from heaven as you enter, standing awkwardly beside him.
“Hey” you greet him, after all, you still had a few minutes to ride in the slowest elevator known to mankind, and you'd try to make it as pleasant as possible.
“Hi” he says back, and you can feel his eyes bore into the side of your face. He was staring intently, as if trying to check if you were real, and standing beside him.
“Were you with Kyrell?" you asked, already knowing the answer. No one would willingly hang out in this building unless they had a reason, or someone, to be here.
“Yeah, I hung out with him and Seungmo” he says. “You?”
“I was studying with a friend from algorithms,” you say. Right, Brian had told him you and Hana were entering the final line for most of your projects. He tried so hard to ask who was the lucky guy, but he wasn't on grounds to make jealousy statements.
Just as he's about to say something, the words die in his mouth. The elevator shakes, deciding to stop in between the two floors. You should have known better than to take the elevator. Everyone knew it got stuck like once a week, why did you think it wouldn't happen to you at some point. Dammit, survivor bias.
You nervously pressed the buttons, seeing if you could get a reaction from the damned appliance. With no avail, the creature didn't budge. “Shit” you say, banging your head against the wall. He stares at you, shocked, as you regain compassion, pressing the SOS button as you slid down the wall, sitting on the floor.
“There’s no signal” you groan, trying to call whoever it was you were with earlier, much to his annoyance. It's not like he was any different, phoning Kyrell.
“They will get us out of here” he tries to calm your nerves (and his), sitting on the opposite side from you, resting his legs right beside yours.
You stare at him, annoyed stared on your face. And he feels bad for finding it as beautiful as you always were to him, even when you were pissed at him. Maybe the lack of your presence in his life only made simple acts like breathing around you even harder.
“I was hoping to run into you” he says, trying to put a nonchalant facade to hide the hurt on his voice. “We have a conversation pending”
“There's nothing we have to talk about, Jiho” you spit out. You should have brought your earphones, a book, hell, even your calculus homework, anything to keep you away from giving in to the man.
“Yeah, we do. Because I couldn't explain myself the other day, and I hurt you. I'm sorry about that.” he says, honestly. “And maybe, I was hoping you would just hear me out. Because even if I am exactly like that, I'm selfish. and I couldn't even begin to fathom the idea of losing you. So please, hear me out. You don't have to stay after, but just let me try.”
You listen to his ramble, not like you had any other option, and you find yourself weighing the options. You could say no. Probably have him ramble anyway, since there's nothing else to do in this fuckass elevator, and get out and go with your life. Only that you probably wouldn't, you would run into him all the time, and the only fixture to that would be moving dorms and getting a new friend group, a completely unreasonable solution. The other option was to hear him out, and maybe there was a small chance of salvaging whatever piece of your friendship stayed there. How you hated being a rational person.
“Go on” you say, sitting straighter under his expecting stare, after all, you always had a hard time saying no to him anyway.
“When I say I didn't mean it like that, I didn't mean that about you. I didn't mean the joke about Mackiah like that. It was in bad taste, but I trust the dude. It wasn't about jealousy, it was supposed to be a joke." He explains “I'm sorry if I made you feel like you couldn't have male friends.”
“Is that all?” you ask, not really satisfied with his apology. At the end of the day, it seemed like nothing had changed. He didn't regret hurting you and leading you on, he just regretted not having you around anymore.
“No. It was like that. I do like you, and hell, I have liked you since the first day. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it was more than just a dumb crush, I'm sorry it took me almost losing you to realize that.” he corrects himself. There was no way he had you in front of him and he would not try to make it up to you, hell, he would have done everything you asked for the possibility of forgiveness.
“What about Nayeon?” you ask, still not sure what the role of the girl in his life was "Aren't you two seeing each other?"
“What? no. We just hit it off as friends, she's seeing some guy from arts.”
“I thought you liked her. And were replacing me with her” you confess. Maybe you shouldn't have been this vulnerable, maybe you should have played hard to get., but you would be lying if you said you didn't want to fix this for once and for all, already tired of running in circles.
“No way. You can ask her how many times I have gone on weird tangents about you.” he confesses. “Even if she liked me, I was way more worried about you hating me more” he adds, earning himself the smallest giggle out of you, and it feels like his heart starts beating again.
“Okay…” you trail off, taking in the information.
“So…”
“So what”
“Do you forgive me?” he asks “I can get on my knees and beg.” He threatens, inching closer as he rests on the heels of his feet, testing the territory.
“Please don't”
“Then forgive me, because we don't know how long we are gonna be and I plan on making good use of my time”
“How?” you tease.
“Well, begging since it seems like someone can really hold a grudge” he jokes, earning himself a kick on the thigh. “I’m really sorry” he adds, his hand resting on your leg that had hit him, thumb drawing the smallest circles.
“It's okay. I forgive you, I guess” you shrug, nonchalant. God, how you hated the effect he had on you.
“You forgive me as a friend…” he tests the waters. Even if he would have preferred to finally get to call you his, he could understand why that might be way too fast for both of you.
“Jiho” you say sternly.
“I would say you could always leave, but…” he gestures to the elevator door, still no sign of rescue.
“Ha ha, you are so funny.”
“The funniest” he says sitting, this time beside you. “I missed you so much” and he means it. There was nothing he hated more than not being able to hear you, to see your face, if it was up to him, there wouldn't be a day he wouldn't be by your side, living inside your skin if he could.
“I missed you too” you say, and you don't miss the foolish smile that adorns his face this time around.
After being rescued from the elevator, things had gone back to normal. Kind of. You still had that lingering feeling of something being pending in your relationship that you didn't have the energy to acknowledge, and Jiho seemed to agree with you for the most part. Or at least was conscious enough of the delicate state of your relationship to bring up his doubts about it right now. That didn't deter him from going back to his old ways, albeit toned down, he still kept saving the place beside him in your friends hangouts, and dropping by in between breaks of classes to hangout with you, or just drop various treats. Or he still sent you music and movies he thought you would like. Things that made you doubt about the friendship you had reinstalled, only that this time, he seemed to be holding space. You had told him you wanted to stay friends, and he seemed to agree with you. He had always acted like this, and you didn't find it bothering before, so why now it seemed to irk you so bad? Was that annoyance at the way he acted, or the way he made you feel?
Since they had finished the month of charity events, they had decided to throw a small get together, a small bonfire in the backyard, only for frat members and adjacent. Obviously, you and Minjun were the first on the list, getting once again greeted by the trio to confirm your attendance. You found the joy on the younger's faces endearing, not missing the smile of the older as he watched you from the corner of your bed, not daring to inch closer.
The night had come faster than you expected, finding you and Minju piled in a car with the dorm inhabitants to head there. The back of the car filled with ice and diverse drinks, since it seemed like the Greeks were ready to let themselves loose after a few very stressful weeks.
You arrive at the house, helping unload the car. The backyard was organized differently, some new fairy lights hanging from the diverse trees, courtesy of Hana. They had made a temporary bonfire in the middle, mismatched sofas and logs to sit around. They weren't a big fraternity, so it was way more private than one would think.
The night goes on, drinking and talking about life, reminiscing about different stories from the past years, Keeho and Kamden talking about their own initiation stories, way before any of you had gotten into college, and not wasting a minute to embarrass the younger ones, reminiscing every shameful event of theirs. You find yourself tipsy, sitting beside Jiho. Your head lays across his chest as he plays with a loose strand of hair, intently listening to whatever they were talking about. You could have stayed like this forever.
One by one, your friends find themselves interested in other things, abandoning the bonfire for other places and leaving you and Jiho alone, the crackling sound of the fire being the only company.
“Alone for the night, huh?” he jokes, turning to look at you. You looked as pretty as ever, the dim light of the bonfire marking your features.
You hum in agreement, not wanting to disrupt the peaceful atmosphere. Even if you probably would never admit it, you had wanted this for way longer than any of your friends imagined.
“I missed you so much” he blurts out “I know we said to take things slow but seriously. I missed you so much. I thought I was going insane without you. Kind of thought I hallucinated you for some time”
You laugh at his dramatics, already accustomed to how whiny he could get. “It wasn't even that long.”
“Say that for yourself. It was like you disappeared from earth and I was the only one who remembered you” he explains, making you let out a snort at the sheer ridiculousness “No really, I asked Minju about you and she asked who you were”
You laugh at the silliness, knowing damn well your roommate could keep a grudge that well, having been her victim more than once. “Okay okay, I missed you too”
“For realsies?” he asks, teasing, pulling you impossible closer.
“For realsies.” you say, trying to keep the straightest face possible at the tomfoolery of the guy in front of you “So don't give me another reason to push you away.”
“Wouldn't even dream of it babe,” he says, his hand resting on the side of your waist “Just run me over with your car next time”
“Don't give me ideas Jiho” you fake threaten, and you don't miss the sleazy smile he has. or the way his eyes dart ever so slightly towards your lips. You decide to be generous, for probably the first time in your situationship, and the last. You press the quickest, tiniest kiss to the corner of his mouth.
His breath stops. And you swear you can feel his soul leave his body before he gets back to earth, a teasing grin on his face.
“You are evil” he says, pulling you impossible closer, your legs now resting on top of his lap, leaving his hands to be splayed across your legs.
“How am I evil? I just kissed you” you say, your hand going to play with the longer strands on the back of his neck.
“That was merely a kiss. Barely a peck even” He complains, his thumb rubbing patterns on the inside of your thigh, teasing as his voice. “I think I deserve a better one”
“Aren't you the one apologizing? why should I kiss you” you joke, and you don't miss the way his eyebrows furrow.
“Okay bet” he says, pulling you closer by your thighs, his face inches away from yours “You better not regret this then”
“I promise I won't” you say, forcing yourself to keep the eyecontact, there was no way he was getting the upper hand in this one.
“Good girl” He says before pressing his lips to yours, this time for real. He sighs into the kiss, and you swear you could melt. His hands were ever so careful as they explored the nakedness of your thigh, trailing up to your waist, pulling you even closer, as if trying to become one. You don't miss the cheer from your friends from the gallery, clearly ecstatic about finally getting the couple everyone wished for together.
“Was that good enough” he says once you part, still not loosening his iron grip on your being.
“You should try to convince me more Jiho, just to be sure” you breathe out, still dazed.
“Don't call me that” he says, pressing a quick kiss, much to your distaste. After having you waiting around for so long one would think he would be interested in some more action. “I'm Chejo”
“You don't like that” you mutter.
“Who told you that?” he asks, confused.
“I heard you at the party. You told Nayeon you didn't like it”
“Well yeah. I don't like it when she calls me that. You are the only one who can” he says, pressing a slightly longer kiss, still not enough to satisfy your newly discovered need. “Now, ask for it, nicely” he teases.
“You should try to convince me, Chejo” and this time, you don't miss his dumb smile, or the way he still has it once he kisses you, his hands still exploring your naked skin, as if he needed you like oxygen to live.
Yearbook photos were taken at the end of the year, when the president's graduation was close, as a way to commemorate him the coming year. This situation included every frat member, living in the house or not, and the sweetheart, who this year was Brian's girlfriend. After some deliberation, they had decided to give her a sweetheart court, since the girls of their life had been a great help to the fraternity this year. That list of girls included you, somehow tangled into this whole ordeal.
You find yourself standing in the front yard, cladded on a fancy black dress, a strange attire for a random Wednesday afternoon, but not mismatching with all the tuxedo cladded guys. You were fixing Jiho's tie, since it seemed like no one knew how to tie one beside you.
“I can't believe you really dyed your hair blonde”
“Don't act like you don't like it”
You liked it. At the beginning you didn't, when he had his hair an ugly bleach blonde, the kind you can only find in middle aged women at the trailer park. But now that he had let you tone it and actually give it a chance to look good, he looked hot. Like really hot. And you bet your ass you would never admit it to him, his ego didn't need another reason to get bigger.
“No comment" you say, fixating on making the tie look symmetrical.
"You know I'm right" he says, his hands pulling you closer by the waist, so close your lips barely brushed.
"Now tell me. Do I look better than your ex?" he jokes, so close that you can see every detail on his face, an he wastes no time doing exactly the same.
"Jiho..." you groan, his relentless teasing getting to you.
"That's not my name, pretty"
You whine, hiding your face on his neck.
“You look really handsome, Chejo” you say, trying your best to disguise your flustered state, his smile doing anything to placate those feelings.
“There we go” he says, pulling you impossibly closer, “You look as beautiful as always, pretty,” he says, adoration in his voice.
“Hey lovebirds! it's your turn next” you hear Hana scream, calling you over to where the photographer is set.
“In a minute” he answers, pressing a quick kiss to your lips. “You better look your best, cause this is the photo I'm showing our grandchildren.”
