May 28
"I'm slowly forgetting your face..."
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"I'm slowly forgetting your face..."
On my own
Based off some conversations about Jim having a longer life span than everyone else and outliving them to be alone (ofc this would be if Claire didn’t have a longer life span either since she now has magic in her, i.e Morgana lifespan) but let’s get some Jim Angst Huh?
I began this one as an exercise to draw trolljim in angst. Since I was in the cellphone I thought I could include some context, although... Not sure if I like the final result, could have been better
Hey!! Maybe something where Kirk’s confidence is failing him a little, and someone’s there to reassure him he’s doing the right thing/has got this? This is such a sweet idea to write these ficlets for people- thank you for doing this!
The thing about rising to the top so fast was that everyone was waiting for you to fall just as quickly.
Jim had held on to his confidence in his Captaincy like the frayed life line that it was. He took every Admiralty call with a grin, smiling so hard that their cheeks hurt.
“You really doing okay?” Pike asked when Jim was safely in his quarters, pretzeled on his swirly chair, the only concession that he allowed himself. They had semi-regular check-ins. Pike would tell him a hilarious story from his first day of the Captaincy and Jim would pretend not to recognize it as barely disguised but much needed advice.
“I think so.” Jim answered honestly. “For now.’
“Good. Now, a little heads up. Six months in is when they do the Kelvin drills. I can’t tell you when specifically but I know it won’t be long after. Make sure you prepare.”
Jim gripped the edge of the desk to keep from losing his pretzeled balance. “We will, sir.”
“I don’t have to tell you that the scrutiny that they’ll use to judge you on the drills will be more severe than any other Captain in the ‘fleet.”
“No, sir.”
“I also don’t have to tell you that I know you’ll do a damn fine job and make me proud.”
Jim ducked his head. “Thank you, sir.”
Pike grinned. “Now get some rest. You’ve got Alpha shift tomorrow.”
Jim saluted sloppily before signing off, leaning his head back as far as it would go without tipping his chair.
“You okay, Jim?”
From his upside down position Jim could see Bones folding his Command tunic and sliding on his favorite tee for bed.
“Hey, didn’t see you come in.” He twirled around and hopped out of the chair, falling into Bones the way he should be falling into bed.
Bones didn’t roll his eyes or push him away but caught him and held tight. “Seriously. You alright?”
Jim could tell from the slight drawl that escaped Bones that he was tired. An away mission and a week of a hectic shift schedule meant they both were hurting for sleep. Jim didn’t need to add to the stress.
“Was that Pike?” Bones ran his hands under Jim’s tunic, palms firm and comfortable against his back.
“It was. Admiralty drills could be next month. I could fuck this up so bad they might not even let me go back to the Academy.”
“Bullshit.”
Jim huffed. “Bones, you know the Captaincy was more a symbolic thing.”
“If you believe that Jim Kirk, we need to have a neurological consult.”
“I keep waiting to make a mistake. One misstep. I mean, we almost lost two ensigns on the last away mission and that’s on me.”
Bones’s hands left Jim’s back and gripped his arms, squeezed reassuringly. “Darlin’ you are the most capable man I know. Most frustrating too, if I’m being honest.”
Jim rolled his eyes and Bones raised his eyebrows until Jim would make eye-contact.
“You got this. We trust you--the crew trusts you. And that doesn’t happen with every Captain. Not this quickly. You’re young sure. But you’re capable, stubborn and so fucking smart that the Admiralty should be grateful that you’re not coming for their jobs yet.”
“Now you’re being ridiculous.”
“I’m just telling the truth. You’ll ace this drill. And you’ll do what you’ve always done. Prove the bastards wrong.”
Bones kissed his forehead and then tucked Jim’s head under his chin until they were bent together and gooseflesh danced its way up Jim’s arms at the thrill of being with Bones, of having someone who understood him and knew what to say and what he needed.
“Thank you.” He said after a moment and let himself believe that the Kelvin drill and whatever else the Admiralty could throw at him, would be just fine as long as he had Bones to believe in him. And then maybe he could believe in himself.
Girl... giving me Jim angst like that. I'm ALL upset!!! Gonna need some serious smut after this!
Ahhhh the Jim angst had me so down too for ages! I’M SORRY! 😩😭
This has gone a little down my blog so the MAJOR ANGST is here for anyone who missed it!
If you think you can keep breaking my heart like this with that post we're going to fight. By fight I mean I'm going to cry into your arms because my heart.
It’s gonna keep getting broken girl cause I am NOT DONE on the Jim angst just yet! 😜
I thought we were Jim buddies but you got me 50 shades of sobbing in the club and I don't know if I can forgive. (spoiler alert: I forgive you <3 ---but I'm still a mess) k ilyyy byeeeee
WE ARE JIM BUDDIES!!! DON’T LEAVE ME! 😭🙈
And there’s been a lot of requesting for a Part 2 so you may be in luck 😏
Omg I had started a oneshot like that angst Jim you wrote I'm shook
Ahhhh share it with us! Mine’s only a little drabbly thing and I love to cause myself pain apparently 😍