A soulmate AU where the very last words your soulmate will ever say to you is what is branded on your arm, so you never truly know who your soulmate is until you're about to lose them and it's too late to really establish a connection. So meet Seokjin, college student at Konkuk who just moved into an apartment on his own. It's a little higher priced but it's nice, livable, and close to campus. He gets settled in and adjusted to his space and all seems normal until one night, a strange feeling starts taking him over causing him to he wake up and see some guy peering down at him. A normal response is to scream and give out vague threats of hitting someone with a baseball bat, which is the exact response Seokjin gives to unknown man because well...what the fuck? Said man, also screams and noticeably stumbles backwards before he dissipates into thin air.
Seokjin thinks either he's still dreaming and for some reason just has a thing for horror and ghosts or he's gone crazy living on his own for the first time but as the ghost rematerializes on the other side of the bed, startling him yet again, he knows he's not dreaming but he hasn't ruled out the crazy. The stranger ("Perverted ghost," if you ask Seokjin), introduces himself as Kim Namjoon, a ghost that can't remember much about his life as time moves on and has been stuck in this very apartment for a couple of years. And luckily for Seokjin, he's the only one who can see and has been able to see Namjoon as the ghost has tried communicating with previous tenants for awhile now but no one has even given him the time of day, at least not until he makes the lights turn on and off, the walls shake, or a television suddenly get staticky. For some odd reason, tenants are always gone within the next week. Namjoon just doesn't understand it. All he wants is to know someone gets that he is trying to communicate with them.
Seokjin is understanding. At least trying to be as understanding as he could be given that he just found out that a ghost who's been in his apartment for years is right in front of him and he's the only person that could see him. How would he even explain that to people without looking like a raving lunatic? Namjoon's just excited because finally after all these years, someone can see him. Actually see and hear him in the flesh...well plasma nonexistent flesh but details. It wouldn't be too big of a problem right? A ghost and a human, who is the only person that can see said ghost, coexisting right? Right? Namjoon's just grateful to Seokjin for agreeing to try.
One day Namjoon sees on Seokjin's arms, a tattooed quote saying "I'll always be with you," curious he asks Seokjin about it who frowns up at the mention. Apparently he was one of the lucky few people born with a soulmate except he would never know who they were until they were taken away from him. Namjoon thinks it's cool, the concept of soulmates. The fact someone out there was made just for you. He had a soulmate as well but he died before he could ever meet them. He still had the inscription on his arm saying: "don't leave me." It kind of saddens him the fact he left his soulmate without his soulmate ever knowing. Seokjin just thinks the whole thing is cruel, to dangle the fact someone is out there practically made for you be it romantic or platonic, and the Universe takes away the person it pre-destined you to be with. He's heard of stories where people have never met their soulmates, that their marks sometimes cease to exist. He hopes he's one of them. He doesn't know if he could bare losing someone before he even knew he had them. Namjoon notices how sad Seokjin gets each time he's reminded about the fact he has a soulmate out there, so he does his best to not bring it up. It does make him curious the fact of his own soulmate. His tattoo should have ceased to exist right? He was dead. A ghost. No more with the mortal world, there was no point in his tattoo staying on his arm but part of it makes him wonder if perhaps, his soulmate is still out there somewhere, waiting for him. And if his tattoo was still there, maybe he could find them right? If only he knew how to. But Seokjin raised a good point, soulmates in this lifetime never know what they mean to each other until they're actually taken away from each other. Finding his soulmate, the person he bares this mark for, would mean he would lose them. Namjoon didn't want that. Wouldn't be able to stomach it. His soulmate deserves better than that. As much as it pangs his heart to accept it, if he never meets his soulmate, maybe things would be okay.
Besides that, he was pretty much stuck in this very apartment. If he strayed any further, his apparition phases pretty badly and Namjoon feels weakened for days, sometimes months depending on how far he made it outside the apartment.
Namjoon and Seokjin do get closer as time goes on. Namjoon tells Seokjin about his goal of going into music composition and production and even remembers his old SoundCloud. Seokjin tells Namjoon about his goal of acting. He doesn't know if he'll make it into dramas and such but there is never such a thing as too small or too big or a stage to him, whether it be theater or on a movie set. With how easily they're able to mend into each other's lives and how conversations flow between the two of them, it's almost as if they were old friends. The longer Seokjin continues living with Namjoon, the more he wishes they were. Old friends who grew up together and decided to just room together. Old friends who stay up all hours of the night just talking about random things to their heart content. Old friends who tell each other little secrets they couldn't share with anyone else. It's almost easy to forget Namjoon isn't human anymore until he sees Namjoon phasing through doors or walls, that Namjoon doesn't really need to sleep, or that when he's cooking, he's always cooking for one and not two. Seokjin thinks it's not fair. It's not fair to meet someone who becomes slowly becomes a permanent fixture in your life when that someone is someone who won't be permanent. One of them will grow old and more than likely move out as they carry on with life. The other will remain the same young boy he always was, neither withering nor able to ever progress.
It's as they get closer, Namjoon realizes he feels something for Seokjin. Something he doesn't remember feeling ever while he was still alive and that scares him. He's a ghost, forever tied to this room until he figures out how to find the light...or the void...or that something that ghosts talk about will allow him to move on. Not that Namjoon knows of any other ghosts, as far as he's been aware of, it's just solely been him but that was usually how it goes in ghosts folklore right? Seokjin and him don't have a future together. They can't cuddle at night. They can't kiss. They certainly won't be growing old together. No matter how much Namjoon wishes he could actually feel Seokjin's smooth skin against his fingers or feel the other man's body heat when they're laying down, the best he can do is imagine and pretend. That won't last forever.
Seokjin's doing well in his studies. He's getting asked to participate in side projects. It's clear he has a good future ahead of him. A future that doesn't have Namjoon in it and Namjoon knows it. No matter how much he wants to ignore the mirroring growing pang at the reality of it, Seokjin's going to move on before Namjoon's ever ready to. And he wants to leave it at that, let Seokjin carry on with his life as before he ever met Namjoon. That's easier said than done because of course Seokjin notices when the conversations become shorter. He notices Namjoon tends to phase out more often. He notices the saddened stares. He also notices the sudden shift between them. He doesn't know when it happened. Somewhere between late night talks and promises they'd like to make, it became all too comfortable. The apartment that seemed just right in size, suddenly felt too big when the other disappears. Seokjin doesn't like that. He does like Namjoon's smile. His dimples. He likes how Namjoon's eyes light up in a way when he's talking about something passionate such as music or world concepts. He likes the comfort in his words when Seokjin just doesn't have the energy to be upbeat. He likes his understanding personality and his calm demeanor. He likes a whole lot about Namjoon so much that it scares him because it can't happen. A human and a ghost? When and how would that ever work out? So Seokjin pretends. He pretends he doesn't notice the slight hesitations in Namjoon's voice where he trails off as if he's thinking about adding something to a conversation they didn't need to have. He pretends he doesn't notice the way Namjoon's hand tries to linger over his cheek when Namjoon thinks Seokjin is asleep but just passes through him. He pretends his heart doesn't skip a beat each time he lays eyes on a Namjoon. And that's how they stay. Until one of them can't take it anymore.
It's one night while they're stargazing, something Namjoon gets to do every night but this night is special. The air, while Namjoon can't necessarily feel it, is different. And Namjoon knows why. He doesn't feel stuck anymore. The days feel like actual days again rather than existential time just passing him by. The world doesn't seem so gray and dismal, it's like he can see all the wonderful colors it has to offer again. If he closes his eyes, it seems real all over again. He seems real. Normal. Alive. He knows it's because of how close he's grown to Seokjin. To spend time with him and learn everything about him and his own views about the world, Namjoon doesn't feel just simply a ghost that exists, he feels like a normal guy that fell in love with another normal guy and they're taking on the world together. It's not so, but it's the fact Namjoon can /feel/ again. Something he hasn't been able to do since he died. And for that, Namjoon feels grateful again. His heart lighter. Which is why he has no inhibitions pouring his heart out to Seokjin. Being able to express love for the first time ever in his life. It hurts a little bit to see Seokjin stiffen up and his hands tighten to the guardrail but it also feels good to acknowledge the fact that he could even feel in the first place.
Seokjin hates to admit any of his feelings but he can't ignore them any longer especially with Namjoon's confession at his fingertips. But he's afraid. What good would it be to confess what's on his heart where a relationship like this is going to lead absolutely nowhere? But, it's better they both know how the other feels so neither will have regrets so Seokjin confesses to Namjoon too, explaining how he wormed his way into his heart and there was no looking back from it. It's after that, Namjoon actually notices why the air is different. It appears in a bright light behind them. A light that makes Namjoon feel a irresistible pull. This is what ghosts look for right? To move on? Is he finally ready to do that? Why is it after confessing the guy that has been on his heart and on his mind, and having the other confess back to him, he's finally ready to see the other side. At a time where he actually wants to stay.
But life's not that easy, not even for a ghost who just came to terms with the fact he's in love with a human. Even if he wanted to ignore it, his inability to control his phasing or move too much on the terrace, lets him know, the light was an inevitable choice. He hates it. To love Seokjin then to leave him. But he has no regrets about it. If he got to know Seokjin and even love him for just a day, then being stuck here all these years was worth it for him. Seokjin can't see the light but he could feel the change from Namjoon. When they first confessed he sounded sure. Steady. But now, the other man is looking at him so tenderly. So softly. As if this was going to be the last time he ever saw him. As if this was their goodbye and Seokjin hates it. He hates that he moved to this apartment. He hates that he met Namjoon. He hates that just when he came to the realization that he's fallen in love with a ghost, he has to let that person go. What makes Seokjin crumble onto the ground is when he hears those words. Those awful words that kept him from getting too close to anyone. "I'll always be with you." The way his skin tingles as soon as those words leave Namjoon's mouth and the other is walking towards the light but his eyes staying on Seokjin, he hates it. He hates it when the words, "don't leave me," leave his own just before Namjoon phases out with a smile on his face. All this time he's been so careful, so precise in making sure no one got too much under his skin, too close to his heart. And the one time he slips up, it's with the person he's wanted to avoid the most in this world.
"We're two people connected at the heart. We're destined to be together as our love knows no boundaries."
"My heart knew who it belonged to before I even knew you. Our lives don't fit, but our love does."
