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She said, "Careful or you'll lose it" But girl, I'm only human And I know there's a blade where your heart is And you know how to use it And you can take my flesh if you want, girl But baby, don't abuse it These voices in my head, screaming, "Run now" I'm praying that they're human
gettin' jitty wit' it (na-na, na, na, na-na-na-na, na-na, na, na, na-na)
gettin' jitty wit' it (na-na, na, na, na-na-na-na, na-na, na, na, na-na)
gettin' jitty wit' it (na-na, na, na, na-na-na-na, na-na, na, na, na-na)
gettin' jitty wit' it (na-na, na, na, na-na-na-na, na-na, na, na, na-na)
(thats jay/kitty for to make it clear)
.
Glee Song Tournament Round 2
Part 12
Everybody Talks
We Got The Beat
Jake : Bad news- Mr Schue locked us out of the choir room.
Jake : Good news- We didn’t have to wait around for Mr Schue.
Jake : Bad news- Marley finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my tragic background. I was too embarrassed to tell her I taught myself at thirteen because I figured it was the kind of skill that would impress pretty girls.
Jake : Good news- A pretty girl saw me do it.
Jake : Bad news- It was Kitty, and since she’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a bird that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, she’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. She knows.
imagine Everybody Talks but with the Riverdale hair whip sound effect.
Marcus: Hey Joan, where's your boyfriend?
Joan: ...?
Marcus: Y'know, the consultant detective? The beekeeper? Mr. At-home-gym?
Joan: Um... I'm dating Kitty... and Sherlock's gay...
Marcus:
Joan:
Marcus: ... right
Marcus: *in the distance* Hey, Sherlock!!
I just… JOSH CANT KEEP GETTIN AWAY WITH THIS AHHHH
My (slightly NSFW) thoughts about Shitty’s “heterosexuality” below the line. And yes I do believe that Shitty and Jack hooked up their frosh year. (If you’d like to skip the NSFW, just skip the first paragraph.)
I am quite a big fan of the idea of Freshman Shitty and Freshman Jack having a late night, one-time-only make out sesh after parents’ weekend when they’re still getting to know each other, which ends with a young and completely straight (obviously) Shitty on Jack’s lap, humping Jack’s firm thigh, panting and whimpering into Jack’s neck while he shudders through an orgasm still fully clothed, his mustache tickling the skin just behind Jack’s ear.
Jack doesn’t cum, but he does feel really good about helping his new friend de-stress after watching him be ridiculed by his uptight father all throughout parents’ weekend. He feels useful, like he was able to finally do something right after the pressure of playing college-level hockey in front of his professional-level father. He smooths one hand down Shitty’s back over and over in the aftermath, the other hand still firmly gripping Shitty’s ass beneath his pants. There’s no stress in any of his actions when he’s with Shitty, no pressure in whispering quiet reassurances in Shitty’s ear and lending him a fresh pair of boxers (which Shitty does not put on) after his shower. They curl up in bed and fall asleep in each others’ arms for the first time that night.
They don’t talk about it the next day, or the next week, or the next few months, but they are noticeably closer (if that’s even possible.) And Shitty thinks he understands when Jack shuts him out for a few days after Kenny’s first visit. He doesn’t ask questions like their other teammates, just lets Jack come back to him on his own time and doesn’t push no matter how badly he wants to know. (In truth, he really doesn’t want to know.)
And Shitty thinks he understands when Jack starts washing his bedsheets more frequently after starting a checking clinic with the cute Blonde frog in their Junior year. Actively tries not to understand when Jack’s showers take too long in the morning, or when Jack starts locking his door on Shitty for the first time since they moved into the Haus. It’s a little bit like watching your teenage son declare independence, which is actually a pretty weird comparison considering that one night after parents’ weekend, but it rings true.
For the longest time, Shitty had rationalized. He’s not queer, he’s just a damn good ally. He knows that he isn’t queer because he’s thought about it so much, and he would be fine with being queer, obviously, but he’s not. That night with Jack was a fluke. They hadn’t talked about it, and Jack hadn’t cum, so it wasn’t, like, sex. It was two soul-bonded best bro friends who were platonically comforting one another after a harrowing weekend with a sexual act which was not queer by nature, honestly, because it was so… platonic. Right? That orgasm was a vessel of bro-love that needed to be expressed in order to break down the heteronormative walls that were keeping them from reaching their full best-bro potential, obviously, and it filled its purpose! And never happened again. So obviously, no, Shitty is not queer. Because Jack is not queer, really. He’s just a bro who likes to help his best bros out on occasion. Like with Kent.
And his sexual tension with Bits was easily explained away when you take into account the actual non-sexual tension that Jack shouldered in response to the perceived threat that Bitty was in Jack’s eyes. It was obviously just, like, a weird crossed wires moment of hormones and pent-up fears of failure and lost potential and whatever else was brewing in Jack’s head. So Jack couldn’t be queer, because if he was, then the night they spent together wasn’t just a bromance bonding moment but rather a thing, and Shitty doesn’t have things with other men because he’s straight.
But then, Jerry’s happens. And now Jack and Bitty are out, and Shitty shuts down for a moment out of fear and confusion and Jack’s queer? Jack’s queer and I came on his leg. And I liked it? And then he’s just running on autopilot, doling out congratulations and support and kicking himself for being the very thing he’d been campaigning against for the past four years- a heteronormative dickwad. Why did he keep asking about Jack’s girlfriend? Seriously? After everything? Is he that fucking stupid? Oh God, he’s just like all the assholes he hated at Andover. He’s just like his dad.
But Jack trusted him with this highly-confidential knowledge, and that has to count for something. Shitty can be a good friend. He knows how to do this, everyone comes out to him. He can make things right.
Which might start with apologizing to his best friend. And being honest with himself.
