And yet, you're here
Pairing: Geto x fem!reader
Word Count: 2,8k
Synopsis: Years after Suguru left, you're still not able to get him off your mind. When he reappears years after his betrayal, the past collides with the present. Unexpected, in a way you didn't even dare to dream about.
Warnings: this isn't proofread 100%, the emotional rollercoaster you deserve, hurt to comfort big time, this is for all my geto girlies who deserve their happy ending
please please please make this go viral thank you
„He’s a threat for the whole population!”
“We need to kill that brat before he kills all non-sorcerers.”
“I can’t believe someone like him was able to do something like…that.”
“So much wasted potential. Why does a special grade sorcerer act this way?”
“I thought he’s a nice boy.”
“So, you’re not one of those nice guys I guess.”
The sun already hung so low in the sky that you were barely able to see his soft features, let alone the surprised look that crept over his face while hearing those words coming from your mouth.
“Are you talking about me or Satoru?”
You let out one of those cute chuckles he adored so much, the kind he heard in his head on repeat even when you were long gone. Gosh, he couldn’t get enough of this. Those lonely nights with only you and a cigarette by his side, the countless hours he spent trying to understand you while it was his mind that slowly but surely fell apart.
“Nope, I’m always talking about you, Suguru.”
“What am I if not a nice guy, then?”
Sure, Satoru Gojo was his one and only best friend, but you were something else entirely: An unspoken bond that lived in the spaces between words, in glances that lingered just a moment too long. You weren’t a lover, not in the conventional sense, but you weren’t just a friend either. You were a mirror to his soul, the keeper of truths he couldn't bear to speak aloud, and the only person who could hold the weight of his silence without it breaking you both.
“You’re... complicated,” you finally replied, the word laced with warmth rather than judgment.
“You’re the kind of person who feels too much but hides it too well. The kind who would burn the world down if it meant saving the people you love. Not everyone understands that, but I do. Or at least I’m convinced I do.”
Suguru’s lips twitched into a faint smile, more melancholic than amused.
“Complicated, huh? That’s one way to put it.”
“And dangerous,” you added lightly, the hint of a smile in your voice.
“But not in the way they think. Not to me.”
His expression softened, the darkness in his eyes easing for just a moment as he stared at you.
“Not to you,” he echoed, as though testing the words on his tongue, letting them sink into the cracks of his fraying soul.
Till this day, that one last conversation both of you had on that lonely bench still haunts him. The way you looked at him back then, as if you’d already knew that you might never see him again, as if you just counted the hours until he goes berserk.
What are you thinking about him now?
Is he still on your mind?
Are you hating him the way Satoru does?
“You’re thinking about her again, don’t you?”
Fuck. He thought about you.
Again.
Suguru lets out a sharp exhale, the sound halfway between a sigh and a laugh, bitter enough to sting his own ears. How pathetic he has to look to the people surrounding him. When he walked down this path, he knew that he’ll have to do it without you, that he won’t be able to see you again. And yet…
Losing you seems to hurt more than anything else.
“Of course I am,” he admits to his assistant, his voice low and rough like gravel underfoot.
“Not like I can help it. She’s everywhere, even when she’s not. It’s ridiculous.”
There it is again, your face ghosting through his mind. Other than Satoru and Shoko, you never really tried to find him. If you wanted to, you would, right? Maybe you’re too mad at him for all the things he’s done. Or maybe you already forgot about him.
“But it doesn’t matter, does it? She’s gone. Just like everything else.”
For a moment, he closes his eyes, trying to drown out the memories, the sound of your laugh, the way your voice softened when you said his name, the weight of your eyes on him as if you could see through all the lies he told himself. He’d burn every memory if he could, let them smolder in the same fire that consumed the rest of his life.
“Besides. She’d hate me now, just like everyone else. Maybe she was just waiting for me to turn into the monster she saw coming.”
“Stop stewing in these thoughts, that doesn’t matter anymore. We’re expecting another bunch of monkeys in half an hour.”
But even as she said it, the words tasted wrong. It shouldn’t matter that he can still feel the warmth of your gaze, your unwavering belief in him, and yet it cuts deeper than any accusation ever could. Suguru shakes his head while straightening his shoulders, eyes locked onto Manami in front of him in order to force you off his mind.
“Doesn’t matter,” he repeats, his voice barely above a whisper, as though trying to convince himself.
“It’s too late for that now. So, where’s the monkeys?”
“Why did I know I’d find you here?”
His voice startles you, making you jump slightly. You turn to see none other than Satoru Gojo standing there, hands in his pockets, his white hair catching the fading sunlight. The sunglasses perched on his nose don’t quite hide the sharp edge in his expression he usually wears around you.
“Because I’m always here, I guess,” you reply softly, your tone as tired as the circles under your eyes appear.
“And I told you to stop a long time ago,” Satoru bites back, his voice bitter, cutting.
“The Suguru you knew… he’s gone.”
The weight of his words lands hard, though they’re not new. He’s said them before, with the same venom in his voice, every time you bring up Suguru or the past.
“I know. I’ve always known.”
“Then why do you keep punishing yourself? Dropping out of Jujutsu High when everyone needed you didn’t bring him back. Hiding out here doesn’t change anything, y’know?”
“It wasn’t about bringing him back, Satoru,” you snap, your voice sharper than you intend.
“It was about… letting him go. You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me,” he challenges, stepping closer.
“I’ve spent years watching people destroy themselves over things they can’t fix. I know the look in your eyes - you miss him. You always have. But you didn’t even try to stop him when he turned his back on us.”
You flinch, his words hitting a nerve.
“Because it wasn’t my place. I wasn’t like you, Gojo. I wasn’t his best friend. I wasn’t strong enough to drag him back kicking and screaming or to stand in his way. All I could do was… let him live the way he decided to. I thought… maybe if I stayed behind, if I didn’t follow him, he’d understand that I believed in him, that I trust him and his actions, the path he chooses. That I’d be here if he ever wanted to come back.”
Satoru’s shoulders tense, his jaw tightening. He never understood. Until this day, he never wrapped his head around the fact that you didn’t try to stop his best friend back then. You, who had more power over Suguru than himself.
God, how much he hates that disgusting truth until now.
“And look where that got you,” he mutters.
You look away, your hands gripping the edge of the bench for support.
“I never expected to see him again, Satoru. I didn’t think I’d matter enough to him for that.”
The silence between you stretches thin, brittle as glass.
“Do you think he hates me?” you ask, your voice barely audible.
“For staying behind? For not going after him?”
Gojo doesn’t answer, which is answer enough. You know he blames you, at least a little, for what happened. For not doing more. For leaving everything to him. For allowing Suguru to turn his back on Jujutsu High.
“Suguru hating you? Never. I bet he still thinks about you every damn day”, Satoru mutters under his breath before turning on his heels and leaving you standing in the rain.
Suguru, still thinking about you? You shake your head vehemently, not allowing that absurd thought into your brain. If he would miss you, he’d visit you, right? In all those years, he never lifted a finger in order to find you.
You were right there. In your small apartment, at jujutsu high.
Maybe he forgot about you after all.
“Me? Forgetting you? I’d never be able to do that, (y/n).”
Maybe some promises are meant to be broken.
-a few evenings later-
You’ve drank too much.
You always do when Shoko isn’t with you, when no one’s around to watch you. But even though you emptied a whole bottle of liqueur on your own, you still aren’t able to forget him. Fuck, his face is glued onto your mind like a second skin, never leaves you even though you drink enough to forget your own name.
Will it always feel like this? Will that ache ever go away?
“What are you thinking about, handsome?”
“Something I’ve lost some while ago”, you mumble, absently swirling your glittery cocktail around.
“That’s a bummer.”
You don’t even gift the random stranger next to you a look, the guy who smells like cheap cigarettes so vehemently that you feel like throwing up.
Maybe it’s time to call it a day.
“Yeah. Whatever.”
You spring back onto your feet, the alcohol vibrating through your veins. You were never much of a drinker back then, only shared a cigarette with Suguru from time to time. But this became your only way to numb the pain. At least for a few hours, at least for some time.
The cold air of the night hits your face like a wall. Even though it’s far past midnight, the city buzzes in street light, laughter and cries. And yet, all you’re able to think about is him again. His laugh, his voice, the way he used to look at you when he thought no one else was watching. Is it wrong to long for him? Is it disgusting that you couldn’t care less about the things he’s done those past years, about what he’d become?
You shake your head, trying to dispel the thoughts, but they cling to you, stubborn and relentless. Why can’t you just stop? Stop longing for something that will never happen, stop running after a person who is long gone? Suguru won’t come back, you won’t just meet him on a random street-
The click of footsteps catches your attention. Heavy, yet elegant footsteps across the still busy street.
At first, you think it’s just another stranger wandering through the city’s darkened streets. But something about the rhythm - steady, purposeful - sets your nerves on edge. Something about this feels familiar.
You glance up, your heart skipping a beat as your gaze meets a pair of familiar dark brown eyes.
Suguru Geto.
The world around you blurs, the sounds of the city fading into silence. It’s him, unmistakably him. His hair is longer than you remember, strands sticking to his face from what looks like rain, or maybe it’s sweat. Blood splatters ruin his clothes and the sharp line of his jaw, painting a stark, gruesome picture paired with those cold orbs. His expression is unreadable, but his eyes… they’re searching, watching your every move.
You should run, or scream, or yell at him – at least something that shows him what he put you through.
Anything.
He’s the same man who left you, who walked away from everything, from you. He, who didn’t even tell you about his true feelings, who didn’t care about the consequences of his actions, who didn’t even ask you to join. All those miserable nights you imagined him sitting next to you on that bench, the bottles of alcohol you’ve drank just to forget his name. He needs to pay for it, needs to know what he did to you by leaving you behind.
But instead, your feet move of their own accord, closing the distance between you in an instant.
Before he can react, you throw your arms around him so, pulling him into a tight embrace.
Suguru freezes, his body stiff against yours. He doesn’t move, doesn’t speak, as if the sheer force of your presence has left him powerless. You bury your face against his chest, not caring about the blood, the grime, or the hurricane of questions swirling in your mind. All you care about is the fact that he’s here, alive, and solid beneath your touch. You can feel him – not only in your dreams, but for real.
Suguru is here.
He’s alive.
He’s right between your arms.
The scent of him - familiar, though tinged with something darker - fills your senses, dragging you back into a world you thought you’d never touch again. Tears sting your eyes, but you bite them back, unwilling to let them fall.
“Suguru,” you whisper, your voice trembling.
Finally, he moves. His arms lift hesitantly, then wrap around you with a force that knocks the air out of your lungs. He holds you like he’s afraid you’ll disappear any given minute, his grip firm and desperate. His head dips slightly, and for a moment, you think you feel him trembling too.
“What are you doing?”
His voice is rough, low, almost broken.
“I don’t know,” you admit, your voice muffled against his chest.
“I just… I missed you.”
He pulls back just enough to look at you, his dark eyes scanning your face as if trying to memorize every detail.
“You shouldn’t be here,” he mutters, his tone a mixture of regret and warning.
“Neither should you,” you counter, your gaze unwavering.
Suguru’s lips twitch, almost forming a smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He lifts a hand, his fingers brushing against your cheek as though testing if you’re real.
“You should hate me.”
“Maybe I should,” you reply, your voice steady despite the storm raging inside you.
God, you’re so furious at him. Mad because he ran away, mad because he left you standing in the rain.
Mad because this is actually the first time Suguru Geto hugged you.
“But I don’t. I guess I could never hate you.”
His expression falters, the mask he’s worn for so long cracking just enough to reveal the man beneath. The one you knew, the one you loved in a way you never fully understood. And for the first time since leaving everything behind, he feels that small ray of sunshine taking in his heart again.
“You don’t know what I’ve done, what I’ve become. I was so sure you’ll hate me like everyone else.”
“I know enough. And I don’t care. You’re still Suguru Geto, aren’t you?”
He exhales sharply, the sound almost like a laugh, though there’s no humor in it. You, not caring about the fact that he ended countless lives out of his own fulfilment? You, a jujutsu sorcerer who always protected those monkeys?
“You’re too good for this,” he bites back, shaking his head.
“Too good for me.”
“Don’t decide that for me,” you snap, surprising even yourself with your suddenly so sharp tone.
“You don’t get to make that choice. You already did when you left without saying goodbye”
The silence between you stretches, heavy with unspoken words. You’re right and he knows it. But… Was it really a possibility to take you with him back then? Was there a tiny chance that you…would have joined him?
Slowly, he leans his forehead against yours, his eyes closing as though seeking comfort in your presence. No, he doesn’t want to think this through. Not right now. Not when he feels your heart pound against his body, not when you’re this close to him for the very first time.
“I thought I’d never see you again,” he admits, his voice barely a whisper.
“I told myself it was better that way.”
“And yet you’re here,” you point out softly.
“And yet I’m here,” he echoes, his lips curving into a faint, bitter smile.
For a moment, it’s just the two of you. No blood, no curses, no jujutsu, no past or future. Just the weight of the present, fragile and fleeting. And for now, that’s enough.
For now, simply holding the man you thought you’ve lost forever on a random street is more than enough to make you feel whole again.
Tags:
@arehzhera @ploylulla @tzubaki @beatrexworld @kenstarsworld
@hellkaiserinphoenix @lauv4chuuya @sindela @kayleegomez @sunshine7queen
@magalimachete @gatitam @idontknow1123 @creative1writings @sanicsmut
@mynahx3 @sad-darksoul @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix @chuyasthighs0
@ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @froufrousnowman @tomiokathedepresso @gojosrealwife
@coffeeluvr96 @mahi-tamashi @weebotaku21 @chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain
@risuola @sugurulefttesticle @wordskeeper @baku2345 @polarbvnny
@ruixrei @bam-bam-bam-bame-blog @lavenderdrxp @localhehecat @alicerhr
@sugu-love @belovedvamp @wifenanami @chilichopsticks @dlwlrmas-world
@oikawarz @darkstarlight82 @satoreo @kentocalls @cheesemachine44
@ryva @kenjakusconcubine @baku2345 @komelrebi-san @deezy12299
@okay-it-is-ivy @paridoliaaa @cupcaketeddybehr
