just some more headcanons that no one asked for of the silly little hairball
this boy has my heart and soul in a chokehold right now, so have some basic and fluff headcanons while i gush over how much i love him
[more headcanons]
Basic Headcanons:
john might like scaring people, but he's not a huge fan of getting scared himself.
he won't lash out or anything, but he might be skittish for a good while afterwards
that being said, he is much, MUCH harder to scare. trying to jumpscare him? he'll just laugh it off and play along. common phobias like spiders, clowns, heights, ect? not a big deal.
he has no concept of periods or period cramps, but he's definitely curious. will ask a LOT of questions, some more invasive than others.
he doesn't mean anything bad by it, my boy is just fascinated by y/n's (if they're a period haver) biological functions
he likes to draw in his spare time but his doodles are little more than messy scribbles and a few silly profanities...
he's proud of his work though!
speaking of art, do NOT let this man anywhere near paint. john doe will not hesitate to chug an entire bottle of acrylic paint like its the last soda on earth
but as a fun little side effect, his skin will gradually take on the hue of whatever paint he just ingested (like when you put a white rose stem into a cup of food coloring and its petals start changing colors)
he can impersonate a number of animal sounds with terrifying accuracy and will do so at random.
there's been plenty of times where he just pauses mid-conversation and lets out the loudest, most ungodly eagle screech for no reason. he just thinks its fun!
he's not very good at video games, but he'll still play them!
first person shooters are especially hard for him, it's just so hard to focus with a split pupil and a lot of flashy lights
is fully convinced that santa claus is real and does not like the man whatsoever. what do you mean this random guy breaks into y/n's house every year to leave gifts? that's HIS job!!
same goes for the tooth fairy. he has a tendency to stash teeth under his pillow to snack on while he sleeps and he'll be damned if some rando shows up trying to take his stash.
Romance Headcanons:
john might be asexual (at least to some degree), but he'd never say no to y/n!
in fact, he might even find every excuse ever just to keep his hands on them at all times, both in his human form and as a silly little hairball.
he keeps track of every little anniversary and will make y/n a hyperspecific card for every single one of them. so somewhere in their house, y/n has a stash of crudely drawn scribbles and a note that reads "HAPPY THREE WEEK ANNIVERSARY OF THE TIME WE FIRST SWAPPED HOODIES!!! I LOVE YOU :D"
if y/n is into reading, john doe will burn through book after book just to find something to talk to them about.
the only problem... is that john isn't a strong reader. he reads best by literally eating the pages and "absorbing" the content
the first kiss is very messy, very clumsy, and waaay too full of tongue. it's like he's trying to taste y/n from the inside in a non-sexual way, but that probably just makes it worse.
oddly enough, his kisses taste like vanilla with just a faint hint of copper. give him time, he'll learn.
if y/n ever decides they want kids, john will be all over it. gushing, over the moon, a thousand times yes!! a family with y/n??? it's a dream come true!
it might take him a good minute to realize that physically having kids with y/n is impossible, so he just goes for the next best thing! bringing home a random kid he just happened to pluck off the street for you two...
not that the kid would be too upset about getting snatched up by this weird stranger. john has an uncanny ability to draw children in with his natural whimsy and chaotic energy. its a wonder he doesn't have his own army of schoolage gremlins
john purrs and chirps like an oversized cat demanding affection even in his human form.
he especially loves getting scritches behind his ears and just under his chin. it's much worse if y/n cuddles him while in his hairball form, like the boy is not quiet in the slightest
