do i ever cross your mind
The 100 Masterlist
John Murphy X Reader
Word Count: 1.4k
A/N: This is my first time writing in a long while so I hope this isn’t too bad :) thanks for reading :p
Warnings: Fluff-Angst, John Murphy lowk being gentle, flashback, reader lowk yearning for Murphy.
part 1 / part 2
When Murphy had gotten banished, a lot of people were under the impression that it was a relief, knowing that there wouldn’t be any threat to them anymore. But you had different feelings. Part of you felt guilty because for some odd reason, he was never really at your throat like the others, and you were never sure why.
Unity day came along, and everyone was tipsy or drunk, and they were running off to corners to make out or playing dumb drinking games. You sat by the fire, staring at it as it crackled and popped every few seconds. You were so lost in thought that you had only gotten through what was a full cup of ‘unity juice’ as jasper called it. You just couldn’t stop thinking about what happened the day before.
Yes, you felt awful that a child had basically sacrificed herself to prevent any more harm. But you were just stuck on the thought that it was wrong for just jumping to the fact it was him. I mean sure.. His knife was at the scene, but it could have been used by someone else.. Which ended up to be true. People could have cared less about Murphy, they were scared of him, he also was just a threat to everyone. That’s not what you saw, though.
You didn’t know Murphy that well, other than from the small hunting teams that would get sent out, but when you were sent out, you saw a side of Murphy that you didn’t think you would.
You were sent out in a group of 4, but ended up splitting up towards the end of it in caves as the rain had gotten heavy. While you were trapped there, you had learned more about Murphy… A softer side.
— — — — — —
Sitting on the other side of the cave was Murphy. He was staring at the small fire you had just barely managed to get started, not much warmth emitting from it. Both of you are still soaked from the rain even after being there for a couple of hours. It was starting to get dark, and you both were bored, tired, and incredibly annoyed. What Murphy had hoped to be an easy day, turned out to be one of the worst ones yet. He was stuck with a stranger for fucks sake, what were his chances of being able to make it out alive tomorrow.
Staring at the fire, he sighed and began to speak, might as well ask questions to pass time, “So,, what’s your name, stranger?” He murmured out, tossing what seemed to be a pebble into the fire. You froze for a second.. Was Murphy actually asking a question? To you? Not knowing if he was being genuine or not, you shifted awkwardly in your spot and glanced around.
“It’s.. y/n,” Came past your lips in a murmur, receiving a small grunt as a response from Murphy. It was quiet for a little bit after that, and you weren’t sure if there was going to be anymore conversation, but he surprised you again. This time he was looking at you directly.
He seemed hesitant at first, like he didn’t know if it was okay to speak. He kept pausing, small huffs of air coming from his mouth nervously, “Hunting, huh? Why do you go on these groups if we just end up,, stuck in a spot we don’t want to be?” He had his usual snark and sassiness to his questions, but nonetheless it was a question.
You thought for a moment. It was a great question, actually. You never really go on the hunts to get the food, it was more of an escape from the mass amount of people that came to the earth in the dropship, all the chaos. Going on these hunting trips just gave you the opportunity to think about things and different ways you can contribute to the 100 on the ground.
“I don’t know, I guess,,, I guess I just find a lot of peace being away from the 100 for a couple of hours or so. It gives me an opportunity to really, well, reflect on the things that have been going on.” You explained reluctantly, not sure if it was okay to say anything of the sort. He didn’t seem like the kind of person to be interested in a persons reasoning, but yet, a glimmer in his eyes told you he was actually curious on to what you meant.
“Hm.. I guess that makes sense, I mean, who wouldn’t want to be trapped, surrounded by woods with your thoughts.” he replied with just a hint of sarcasm, but you just couldn’t help yourself but to talk.
You giggled a little bit in thought, just before letting out a small shiver, reminding you of how cold it actually was at the moment, even with the fire going, “It’s actually something I used to do in the sky box because the mess hall was always so loud.” You glanced off towards the entrance of the cave, watching the rain drops fall into the dirt, making it more muddy than what it was before.
“When I would be in my room, I would just think about what life would be like on the ground.. How fun it would be to be able to run around, enjoy nature, but I did not expect it to be like this..” You sighed, glancing back to the other side of the cave, before realizing Murphy had shifted to your side, getting ready to take his jacket off when he stilled.
You let out a snort before continuing, “I guess what I’m really saying is that, as much as I ‘enjoy’ trying to survive as much as possible and work til my feet hurt, these moments just give me the chance to breathe again..” you heard a bit more shuffling while you shivered, just before getting greeted with a damp (but weirdly warm) jacket laying across the front of your body.
“You’re shivering.. sorry.” He said before shifting a little further away before replying to your last comment.
“I see what you mean,” he started, tossing a couple of sticks nearby into the fire, mostly breaking them before tossing them in.
“Being around nature just,, it feels a lot better compared to being stuck in a metal box in space.” He added with a grunt, his head lightly tapping against the stone.
You nod in agreement, shifting under the jacket to try and gather more warmth to your body. You catch a whiff of smoke, dirt, and sweat from the jacket, but the smoke overpowered the dirt and sweat so you didn’t mind. Weird,,, a comforting smell.
“I suppose… It was kind of difficult focusing, always hearing the clanking from all the maintenance they were doing.” You retorted, making him huff out a small laugh with a smirk on his face.
“Yeah, well, that place will end up as inhabitable as earth was years ago.” He joked, which managed to get a small, but audible laugh from you.
You stared at the fire for a while before you saw that Murphy himself was shivering, and you felt bad that he was suffering in the cold now. Hesitantly, you shifted towards him, trying to cover him with as much of the jacket you could, trying to combine your body heat to keep warm.
Staring down at you was John. A bit perplexed but it wasn’t a bad idea to try and keep warm. Slowly, his arms pulled you closer, just barely managing to have you both inside the jacket. Never being this close to someone in a while, a light pink dust your cheeks, luckily you could blame it on the cold air coming from the entrance of the cave.
“Sorry, I just uh… I thought y-“
“You don’t have to say anything, it’s okay.” He cut you off, staring at the fire now as to try and not make the situation more awkward.
You nodded gently, awkwardly laying your head against his chest, just before sinking into his body warmth. His arms wrapped loosely around your waist.
— — — — — —
You sighed, dumping out what was left of your drink before walking off to your tent. Others weren’t paying attention, not too concerned about where you were going or what was wrong, drowned in alcohol or talking about anything at all.
Arriving in your tent you let out a sigh, looking around your dimly lit tent before sitting down on your cot. As you’re kicking off your boots you see John’s jacket, something that he had left in your tent the last time you talked.
You weren’t sure what you were thinking, all you knew was that you picked it up and wrapped it around your chest, the familiar scent filling your nose.
The worst part of the banishment? Not being able to say goodbye to him.. even if you weren’t close.














