#johnleeadventures

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I'm 21. A few years ago I had a mentality that you never had to grow up. That growing up meant you weren't being true to yourself and that you were covering yourself up just so you could succeed for the moment each day.

I realized last year what becoming mature means. It's not the connotative thought of "growing up" because society tells you to - because it's the social standard. No, growing up, if done properly and true to your heart, is becoming the awesome person that you alone were meant to be. It's maturing into something greater than yourself and seeing something beyond just "me". 

Are you satisfied? 

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Soli Deo Gloria (a discombobulated thought within my heart +mind)

Forgive me for...

the lies that I have told

the jokes that have not encouraged

the tiredness that became bitterness

the weariness that become sadness

the hearts that I have broken

the indignation against the world that brings my heart to depression/hate insead of love/compassion

the contempt I held against others

the lustful eyes that I carry

the pride that knows no bounds

the self-righteousness that fills my heart

the envy I have towards others

the love that isn't genuine

the mind that loves to stay in confusion

the heart that is unstable

the eagerness to please others

the mouth that is quick to rebuke

the hands that clench into fists

the feet that take me to where I shouldn't be

the sin I have yet to acknowledge...

I can say I'm awful or not awesome but I am not my judge. However, my peers can say I'm a hypocrite or a liar, or even a great leader or friend yet they are not my judge. But to discredit all judgements in this world is to put his name in vain. It's true that I am loved and already have the opportunity to fight this fight of faith. But there is something beyond my standing which allows me to see the necessity for continually sanctification. To not put the Lord's name in vain. But why?  

His grace is more than sufficient. This grace which is all satisfying derived from a love that is much greater than I'll ever know.

1 Cor. 10:31

I love the fact that when I look at myself I am wholly content yet I can only see endless improvements to be made. And I am put at awe by my God who will finish the good work he started in me. I do not do this in my name and I will not use his name in vain

His kingdom and his righteousness will be made known and I will do nothing but lean on his grace and mercy continuously.

I can't help loving the fact that I have nothing but his sanctification of fire ahead of me and I take profound joy towards these sufferings, for his ways are much more glorifying. 

I love the phrase, "make war on our sin." Yet, I don't like it's connotative link. God has already declared war so what we must do is join the war. When we say make war it's should be the understanding of "Fight the good Fight now and join the battle against sin." War was already declared and you know what? The war is already won, we are already justified. Yet, if we do not reap what he has sown or not claim the city in which he has won we will feel as though our life is still a war without clear victory. The battles ahead assure us that he is still with us. But the cross declares the victory over the war. So fight today, tomorrow, and forevermore holding onto the truth that in the end victory has already been claimed by him whose steadfast love endures forever.

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my cd album and artist debut...

Here's a thought - since High School I had an idea that it would be cool to become some sort of acoustic singer/rapper (obviously influenced by Jason Mraz)...I didn't do much to pursue that idea. And thinking about it I wouldn't have made it big since I have, at best, an okay voice and decent skills at the guitar. But just for fun sakes I decided to share with the world that I once had this dream.

In freshmen year in college I thought I would make an album and call it "Hello, Goodmorning & Goodnight" and write tracks that would start off with the morning into the night about things/feelings that you have throughout the day. Since I was a helpless romantic I imagined it being about chasing a girl and finally asking her out and so forth. So it was suppose to be a cute cd. That doesn't seem like it's going to happen.

I thought the single for the track would be called "Little Miss Sunshine", I figured that would be my first single in my sophomore year in college. Probably just based off my childhood memories of a police robot I use to have with a red nose that always sang "You are my sunshine" if you clicked a button on the top of his police hat. I would always click it when it was rainy outside and it made me feel happy...So I always imagined me nicknaming the first "real" girlfriend I had sunshine. And in accordance with that I thought the best track in the album would be "Little Miss Sunshine" (this track would've been in the middle of the album and would've been the moment I asked her out). 

But yeah, that's not happening. None of this happening. Maybe one day for fun i'll do it. I've decided one thing though. "Little Miss Sunshine" will be completed one day, obviously with a totally different meaning (lyrics) and I'll use the song as part of my proposal to my wife. She's out there. Possibly? Who knows. God does. Good thing I trust him.

Anyways, to Sunshine, one day God is going to grace me with you in my life. And we'll glorify God together. God will always be our first love and that will drive our commitment and love for one another. Thick or thin, death or eternal life I will love you the way you were meant to be loved. Till then, then. :]

[sangbak-blog]

The Goat Rodeo II

To say i'm superhuman would be awesome, but that would be a lie. I'm a far digression from the meaning of the word perfect. and yet although I say this I can't stop my arrogance from defending my self-righteous attitude. but no matter what I know in the end I am, and will never be "perfect" even if for some bizarre reason some people begin to think I am. I will always be a far outcry till the day I see glory.

But no, it's fairly simple, i'm simply John Lee. I guess that would be a definition. A label that has been placed to be...i guess a part of my identity? but what speaks louder is my birth in christ. a right that was only give by God and his grace. so where does that leave me?

My love and desire? driven by God. my bitterness and arrogance? humbled by God. my heartache and desperation? made into hope in God. my fear of the future? turned into trust in God.

I don't know what's to come and I don't know what may happen in life. But what I've come to realize initially has proven to become false. Yes, it's true i perceived the road to christ to become narrower and narrower. I see brothers and sister slowly dropping out of the race and it seems as though the crowd ahead is only a handful. Yet what I know now is this: the glory, power, magnificence and holiness of God overtakes this gloomy outlook. He who grows and plows will surpass the reapers. And he who has all things in his hand will remain sovereign. So this narrow road? these brothers and sisters? I pray and hope in eager expectations. My failures? I can only repent and find hope in Christ. For he is good and his steadfast love endures forever.

like i said, my life is a goat rodeo. thousands of things have to go right and each second has to be accounted for otherwise my life will fall through the cracks. however it is by God's grace and power that I can live this life. so my strength? God. my weakness? made perfect in God.

As I live I hope to only do one thing:

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

-1 Corinthians 10:31

  And when I die, whenever that may be. I hope that I will be able to say this:

But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.

-1 Corinthians 15:10

I can only take joy and hope in what's to come. And refreshing and renewal comes through his streams that provide life. His word that breaths life into my body. 

So, if God is for me, what or who can stand against?

YES I LOVE MY JESUS! DEEP DOWN IN MY HEART! :]

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welcome to the goat rodeo

Goat Rodeo-A Goat Rodeo AKA Goat Rope, is about the most polite term used by aviation people (and others in higher risk situations) to describe a scenario that requires about 100 things to go right at once if you intend to walk away from it. (from Urban Dictionary)

The following are my thoughts, all future posts will be my raw thoughts cooked medium well so that it can be coherent for those reading it. But this will be my heart and mind morphing into, hopefully, coherent letters and words.

Coming back to tumblr after a 5 month hiatus called for a name change. No longer "wake up", but now "the goat rodeo".

I always imagined myself having the need to wake up but now I see a greater need for people to wake up. I can't shake the feeling that we're all growing up now and there's things that we have to see, know, and experience. So now, welcome to my life - the goat rodeo.

Here's the truth.

What I hear from other people: "Aren't you tired?" "You're doing everything with half the work you could be doing one thing?" "How do you manage to do it?" "Are you sure you can do this?" "No, you're too busy." "I don't think you can handle it." "Thanks, but its okay" "Do you rest?" "I think you need rest." and the list goes on.

What I think: "Nope, not tired at all." "I do everything to the best of my ability I'm sorry you feel that way." "I can't do anything." "Yes" "I never said I was too busy." "How does what you thinkor what I think matter to what God can do?" "Sure...but you look so tired and sad...i'll pray for you." "Yes" "I do, so I get rest in him."

And here are the facts that I've come to realize:

Anything I do, I do to the glory of God [1 Corinthians 10:31]

Anything I find that I can't do and I feel like I lose hope I know his grace is sufficient. [2 Corinthians 12:9]

Anything that I think I do, I realize I can't do without him [2 Corinthians 11:30]

If I ever pause to look at my physical circumstances I think I would undoubtable crash. To gaze at the colossal wall of work and time in addition to the joys that I can't let go of (serving and reading), it seems as though time has become quite a rare commodity to spare. My life is made up of 100 things that have to go right every second just so that I can move on. One minute set back, is another hour lost, another test failed, another person lost, and another moment gone.

But here's the thing. I can't even take credit for anything I do. In fact, I won't. I hope you know anything that I do, do...well it's not perfect. But I can't take credit in anything that did work out well. God has become a cornerstone, foundation, rock, and source of strength that has undeinable done everything.

So my life? The Goat Rodeo? Well it assures me how close and real my father is. That he is for me and never against me. [Romans 8:31].

So welcome to my life. The Goat Rodeo. Where everything impossible became possible. Where the limited capacity of my human nature became expounded upon the hope of the limitless father who brings new joys every morning. [Psalm 30:5]

Life could not be sweeter, better, or more purposeful then now. And there's so much to come. 

welcome to the goat rodeo.

[sangbak-blog]

Legen...wait for it...

no tumblr till october~

time to do the following:

faith

goodness

knowledge

self-control

steadfastness

godliness

brotherly affection

love

3His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him(F) who called us to[c] his own glory and excellence,[d] 4by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become(G) partakers of the divine nature,(H) having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire.5For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith(I) with virtue,[e] and virtue(J) with knowledge, 6and knowledge with self-control, and self-control(K) with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, 7and godliness(L) with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection(M)with love. 8For if these qualities[f] are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or(N) unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he(O) is blind, having forgotten that he was(P) cleansed from his former sins. 10Therefore, brothers,[g] be all the more diligent to make your calling and(Q) election sure, for if you practice these qualities(R) you will never fall. 11For in this way there will be richly provided for you(S) an entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

 12Therefore I intend(T) always to remind you of these qualities, though you know them and are established in(U) the truth that you have. 13I think it right, as long as I am in this(V) body,[h](W) to stir you up by way of reminder, 14(X) since I know that the putting off of my body will be soon,(Y) as our Lord Jesus Christ made clear to me. 15And I will make every effort so that after my departure you may be able at any time to recall these things. 1 Peter

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12 Hours of Filming

7 Hours of Editing

10 Hours of Sound Recording

3 Hours of Sound Editing

27 people

13 minutes to present

Watching the Seniors Smile? :] .....5 seconds... jerks jk ^^ I love Yall

Credits for Dan Mendoza's video and soundtrack and Dan Shin's Video and soundtrack go to Vincent Kim

Thank you to everyone that helped out, each track was recorded with the people in the video and the lyrics were made by them :]. It was fun working with everyone to show seniors love, that's what community is about. RSD got love~ 

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The Journey Home

I had a post in my drafts talking about acceptance and finding peace within Christ. But, since I can't phrase this as beautifully as C.S. Lewis, I'm going to adopt his description.

From the preface of Mere Christianity. (his description of Mere Christianity as being a hall applies to the numerous works and actions that we do to find a place of solitude and peace within Christ. )

"I hope no reader will suppose that "mere" Christianity is here put forward as an alternative to the creeds of the existing communions — as if a man could adopt it in preference to Congregationalism or Greek Orthodoxy or anything else.  It is more like a hall out of which doors open into several rooms. If I can bring anyone into that hall, I have done what I attempted. But it is in the rooms, not the hall, that there are fires and chairs and meals. The hall is a place to wait in, a place from which to try the various doors, not a place to live in. For that purpose the worst of the rooms (whichever that may be) is, I think preferable. It is true that some people may find they have to wait in the hall for a considerable time, while others feel certain almost at once which door they must knock at. I do not know why there is this difference, but I am sure God keeps no one waiting unless He sees that it is good for him to wait. When you do get into the room you will find that the long wait has done some kind of good which you would not have had otherwise. But you must regard it as waiting, not as camping. You must keep on praying for light: and, of course, even in the hall, you must begin trying to obey the rules which are common to the whole house. And above all you must be asking which door is the true one; not which pleases you best by its paint and paneling.  In plain language, the question should never be: "Do I like that kind of service?" but "Are these doctrines true: Is holiness here? Does my conscience move me towards this? Is my reluctance to knock at this door due to my pride, or my mere taste, or my personal dislike of this particular door-keeper?"  When you have reached your own room, be kind to those who have chosen different doors and to those who are still in the hall. If they are wrong they need your prayers all the more; and if they are your enemies, then you are under orders to pray for them. This is one of the rules common to the whole house. "

Always question and seek and thirst, never quench the spirit!

Sometimes I need a break from everything...completely everything, but I will never need a break from God. Because he never takes a break from me, and if someone is that persistence in love and grace, well he must be glorified.