Hello, it is 4am in the morning. I don't know why I am still up right now, but I am. I bought this song and another song on itunes by this artist, and those songs just gave me soo much thoughts that's just keeping me wide awake right now. I have to go to work in a few hours and I should need to sleep.. But oh well. I was planning to buy myself a cup of mocha later anyways.
Anyways. This song, Me Without You, it just makes me feel even more lonely. From time to time, occasionally, I would be sympathetic about myself and tell myself that I would accept being alone for the rest of my life. That's what I tell myself anyways.. But at the end of the day, I am human after all, and like all humans, we all need company and attention. I feel like it is literally impossible to live without someone to be around with, whether it's a friend, family or a lover. I am just 20 years old right now, but I think way too much about things like these. Like how would my older self feel if I don't do this or do that, and it really does scare me. One of the things that scares me, is ending up alone. Now I know that I'll have friends, not too sure if I'll still have my current ones or not, but I don't want to end up alone at all. Truthfully, I do care about these things. No matter how weird I act, deep down, maybe it's all just a cover up or an act so that I won't have to face actual feelings towards someone. I do have trust issues and it IS hard to get through to the actual me. If I could sing, I would totally express myself a lot more that way, but with words, I am just really useless, so don't expect any straight forward words coming from me.
As of right now, I can't imagine myself being with anyone at all and I would totally like to see myself to prove it wrong. I've had a crush in high school, and un-naturally, I forced myself to forget her around the same time I forced myself to forget everyone else in my life and started a new bank or friends. Yep, I had a crush on one of my female friends, she probably won't be reading this even though we're facebook friends and this WILL be linked on my facebook. Anyways, I am ending this here because I REALLY need to sleep and I just had to share my thoughts so MAYBE I can sleep now! Bye! Listening to Me Without You and Don't Want An Ending.