Bucky Barnes and his obedient puppy dog.
Bucky: Walkerš
John: šššš»
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Bucky Barnes and his obedient puppy dog.
Bucky: Walkerš
John: šššš»
John Walker's Thunderbolt beret needs to stay.
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Bucky: āOkay everyone, safety briefing for this weekend.ā
Bucky(pointing at john): do not add to the population
Bucky(pointing at Yelena): do not subtract from the population
Bucky(pointing at Ava): also do not subtract from the population)
Bucky(pointing at Alexei): do not, at any point, name the team thunderboltz
Bucky(pointing at Bob): do not...
Bob(sitting in his chair reading): ....
Bucky: do not leave that chair
Ive been thinking about john walker a lot... what a shock. But like make it mpreg. How idk, but i got a magical strap and a will stronger than god to get him pregnant so I will do just that in this odd shit fic that im posting for fun!
(Its one of those straps that actually shoot liquid from it, but y/n you changed the original liquid out for real cum)
Yes, I know im disgusting. Leave me alone. We all know it's morally wrong and would never do it, but this is a damn fic, so scroll if you dont like it.
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BobWalker Incorrect Quote ā 08/?
Yelena: Who pissed you off? Bob: glowering John smiled at a guy. Yelena: ā¦so? Bob: John doesnāt smile. Not like that. Not at other people. John: walks in Hey Bobā Bob: instantly softens Hi :) Yelena: this is disgusting.
John Walker thoughts because my flashlight ran out and also so did my chill
Okay so first: I doĀ notĀ agree with John Walker. He makes terrible choices. He murders people. He loses it. I am not saying heās a good guy. But if you actually look at theĀ context? The emotional, mental, human context? He makes⦠sense. Not excusable sense, but understandable sense.
He wasnāt thinking clearly. He was grieving Lemar. He was carrying the serum, which literally warps your brain and amplifies everything you feel. And what if it was Bucky and Steve instead of Lemar? Or Sam and Bucky? Or even just someone he loved and lost while trying to be a symbol of something bigger than himself? He was trapped between grief, guilt, power, and expectation, and the world demanded he be perfect anyway. He had no space to justĀ be a human beingin a situation that was impossible to survive emotionally.
And also⦠Midwest emo. Like. Very clearly Midwest emo. I donāt normally post music stuff but hear me out:Ā Be Nice To MeĀ by The Front Bottoms just⦠screams John Walker. The metaphors hit too hard:
āYouāre a flashlight in a dark room⦠but the batteries ran out.ā Lemar is the flashlight. The thing that kept John grounded, kept him human, kept him anchored when everything else is chaos. When Lemar dies? The batteries are gone. John is stumbling blind, still trying to do right, still trying to hold it together, and failing because he literally has no guide.
āYouāre a werewolf and Iām a full moon.ā John believes he causes everything bad. The serum, his anger, his impulsiveness ā heās the storm. Lemar is caught in it, hurt because of him, and John carries the guilt like a boulder that wonāt budge.
All the lines about breaking, failing, lying, and screaming into the void? Thatās John screaming into the world after Lemar dies. Thatās him trying to make sense of a world that wonāt make sense, trying to be the symbol heās supposed to be, while the person who kept him human is gone.
Some comic context for the record: John is literally canonically a US Agent in the comics, trained to be the governmentās āperfectā patriotic soldier. HeĀ kills villainsĀ under orders, struggles with authority and morality, and has a really messy emotional life in canon too. MCU just⦠condensed all the trauma into one intense arc with Lemar and the serum.
The song isnāt justification. Itās devastation. Itās guilt. Itās grief and rage and self-loathing all tangled together. John is violent and wrong and dangerous and also⦠heartbreakingly human. Heās angry, heās scared, heās desperate, heās trying to do the right thing in a world that wonāt let him. And he will never be allowed to be a human who fails, because the serum and the government and the symbol he carries wonāt let him exist quietly.
So yeah. I donāt condone him. I think heās terrifying. I think heās tragic. I think he makes the worst possible mistakes over and over. But IĀ getĀ him. I get the grief. I get the guilt. I get the way the world can take one small mistake and spiral you into hell. And the Midwest emo in him is real and delicious and sad and I am fully here for it.
In The Dark, I'll Be Alright
ship so good, it made me post for the first time in years. Disclaimer: This is unedited and was written instead of sleeping. I saw a fic on AO3 that inspired this, and I thought I'd give it a go because I can't get these two out of my head.
Rated T for some swearing
1202 words
Ava Starr/John Walker, other characters briefly mentioned, Ava centered.
title from Hurt by Amber Run
*
The truth is, Ava still had a lot of secrets. Well aware of the coaxing sheās received since joining a team thatās built on vulnerability. Sheās spent her entire life vulnerable, and all itās done is make her feel weak and pitiful. The truth is, most nights, Ava would lie awake in paralyzing pain. Her condition was better controlled than before, sure, partially due to Janetās quantum energy, partly due to Valentina. As much as she hates to come to terms with the fact, Valentinaās tech has saved her life.Ā
A lot of different variables can lead to a bad night. Not eating, not enough water, a headache, an injury, but what never fails to send her body into panic mode is a mission gone wrong.
They happened more than sheād like to admit.Ā
Miscommunication, mistrust, and disagreements. Theyāre all still getting used to working on a team. Besides, Walker and Bucky, itās new to all of them.Ā
That led to nights like this.Ā
Ava stumbled into her room with heavy steps, her entire body burned. The fire underneath her skin spread through every cell and nerve that made her up. She felt everything and nothing all at once.Ā
Walkerās grip against the plating on her waist was what grounded her, what kept her there. Of course, it was Walker, of all people, who would find her at a time like this. He may be awfully dimwitted, but he was undoubtedly the most observant person on the team. His look of recognition didnāt go unnoticed by her. At first, she received confused looks, but they slowly became more concerned and even caring. Walker was the one to toss her a protein bar once they got back from every mission, because he noticed her lack of urgency to eat. Walker is the one who has figured out when itās not time to give her a hard time, because he recognizes her behavior patterns. He was the first to learn her rhythm during training, hence why he quickly became her favorite to spar with. Heās taken note of her go-to snacks and drinks and makes sure to keep them stocked for her. Like the tea she likes to make on nights sheās restless, or the cereal that reminds her of breakfasts with her parents.Ā Ā Ā
It was safe to say she knew he had to be the first to find out.Ā
The hand that held her own, pulled over his shoulders, brought her arm over his head and set her gently on her bed, only then did he stop to take in the room they now occupied. In the few months as the new avengers, none of them have been in her room, let alone seen what it contained. It was one of the many boundaries she had set without words.Ā Ā Ā
Her room resembled a hybrid of a prison cell and a lab, obviously drawing inspiration from every other room sheās had since the accident. Apart from the machinery, exposed wires, and metal, she hadnāt bothered decorating. After all, sheās never been able to before, and she didnāt have enough possessions to begin with. She wouldnāt know where to start. āGeez, Aves. This isā¦āĀ
A lot. She was well aware. The room resembled that of her old quantum chamber, built by her friend Bill Foster. This, however, was a condensed version; Valentinaās team called a quantum regulator. Instead of being its own room, it surrounded her bed, with a third of the height, only going up to a foot above her mattress. It wasnāt pretty, but it did the job.Ā
āItās just to help with the pain. Keeps me stable.ā Keeps me alive. Ava hit the buttons sheās since memorized, robotically switching the machine on. It was soundless, but she felt its effects immediately. The quantum waves worked their way through her skin, inside her body, soothing the pain, helping her refocus, as she moved to lie down.Ā
John stood at the bed, warily, obviously uncomfortable. His eyes moved to study the dark room, the strange equipment, and the way her body was slowly starting to become solid again. āI had no idea you wereā¦ā
āItās fine. Itās nothing new.ā Sheād long given up on the idea of the pain going away for good. Janet Van-Dyne had given her that initial hope, but it hadnāt lasted long before reality decided to set in.Ā
Ava slowly started to peel her suit off, revealing the thin, comfortable layer she had on underneath: a loose, white long-sleeved shirt and dark leggings. Her joints felt tight and strained.
āRight.ā John watched her with that concerned look sheād often find him wearing. His mouth was slightly open, like he wanted to say something but lacked the right words, and his brow was tight, like he was currently working out what he could do to help. āCan I sit, or is thing gonna give me ghost powers, too?ā He gestured, dramatically, at the bed.
Ava snorted, a soft puff of air. She shoved her suit to the side of her bed and reached up with a sore arm to pull her hair loose from its bun. āIt wonāt affect you, if thatās what youāre wondering.āĀ
Walker nodded and took a seat on the edge of her bed, at her side. He still wore his suit, worn and devoid of color. He had various cuts on his face that he hadnāt even mentioned yet, but likely needs some bit of medical attention. No, since arriving back at the tower, he was solely focused on getting Ava the help she needed.Ā
āThank you,ā Ava said softly, eyes on him. It was moments like this, albeit sometimes rare, when she could see through his hard exterior. It helps her soften her own.Ā
āHey, donāt mention it.ā Walker shrugged, sparing her a glance before shaking his head and staring at the floor. āLeast I can do in return for you saving my ass every mission.āĀ
āSo, he finally admits it,ā Ava smirks, tiredly, her arm draped lazily over her stomach.Ā
āYou know, Iām trying to be genuine, here, and youāre making it very difficult.ā Walker chuckled, despite himself, through the corner of his eye.Ā
āSorry, please keep going.ā She teased, from her spot in the bed, she was starting to feel drowsy. The mission took a lot out of her, and sometimes her regulator did too good of a job getting her to relax.Ā
āSeriously, you know you donāt have to be doing this alone anymore, right? I mean the others, theyāre not going to give you shit for this. Weāre all our own tragic messes.ā Walker sobered, his small smile becoming a thin line, eyes hardening with assurance.Ā
āThat includes you, too, cap?ā Ava challenged, raising her brow lazily at him, smirking despite his soft words.Ā
āWell, Iām here, arenāt I?ā He says it with mock annoyance, but the corners of his mouth are twitching and thereās a softness in his eyes sheās never seen before.Ā
āHmm. I guess you are.ā She hums quietly, smiling, and wondering faintly if he could even make it out, as sleep drags her under, feeling the warm embrace of company and care from another. Something she hasnāt felt in a long time.Ā
Another Thunderbolts* Animatic! Gonna crash out because TikTok muted it for copyright, and I had to speed it up there to avoid it :( Weeks of work for it to be 1.8x speed >:(
This is the video not sped up, thank you YouTube I guess.