✦ 𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓛𝓲𝓼𝓽 ✦
welcome to the archive of yearning, chaos & poor emotional decisions
mostly incorrect quotes. occasionally unhinged essays. sometimes actual feelings.
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todays bird
DEAR READER
ojovivo
art blog(derogatory)

Kiana Khansmith
Not today Justin
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Keni

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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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Sade Olutola
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✦ 𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓛𝓲𝓼𝓽 ✦
welcome to the archive of yearning, chaos & poor emotional decisions
mostly incorrect quotes. occasionally unhinged essays. sometimes actual feelings.
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Obsessed with the idea of Shane randomly encountering Bad Bunny at a bar just like he encountered Rose. (Because he has the BEST luck.)
But he doesn't know who Bad Bunny is, and Bad Bunny doesn't know who Shane is... So they're both just making small talk with this hot guy they met at the bar while they wait for their drinks. They're enjoying talking to someone who doesn't know their celebrity status. And Shane is getting a little flustered despite being married, because damn if this guy isn't his type, and Bad Bunny is lowkey flirting with him.
And then Ilya shows up and has a heart attack. Alternating between fanboying over Bad Bunny and wanting to fight him. Just standing there frozen with this bonkers expression on his face.
And Shane is completely oblivious. "Hey, you're back! I ordered you a beer. Oh, and this is Benito. Benito, this is my husband Ilya........... Baby, are you okay? Why do you look like that?"
I DONT THINK YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I NEED THIS. I NEED IT EJECTED INTO MY VEINS.
I saw a post about Shane and Ilya being sad that they can't thank each other in their acceptance speeches like other can with their spouses and it got me thinking:
Ilya wins his first awards and hes got nobody he really wants to thank after his team and coach cause he he hates his family but he knows his speech is too short so on impulse he goes "And I want to thank Shane Hollander for being slightly worse than me this season". Everyone knows it was going to one of those two, so everyone thinks hes an asshole to say that but whats new so it works for him. But from then on it then becomes a bit for both of them to thank each other in their speeches in a snide way as a reason they won.
Shane winning the Art Ross Trophy (Awarded to the player who leads the league in total points at the end of the regular season). and going "special thanks to Rozanov for missing at least 5 shots this season, he was a huge help"
Ilya winning the Conn Smythe Trophy (Awarded to the most valuable player for his team in the playoffs.) "Just want to give a quick shout out to Hollander for getting knocked out in the second round this season. Must hate to see me up here."
They find a way to mention the other in their speeches every time all the time.
getting so hard I’m gonna faint at the thought of some player chirping Ilya post coming out but it’s specifically targeted at Ilya’s mother (irina foundation being common knowledge) and for once, Ilya doesn’t have a comeback- he’s in a slump, he’s depressed, he’s feeling raw, and he freezes- just long enough for Shane to glide up, drop his gloves and punch the guy in the face so hard he knocks him out cold <3 that’s Shane’s man you’re talkin to <3
“we didn’t need Episode 3” oh yes we did, for two reasons
1) It’s important to know that it’s not just Shane and Ilya who are struggling, and that struggle is not unique to them. Like, it's very easy to assume that they're afraid of admitting their feelings for each other solely because of their own personal hang-ups. It's very easy to assume that, if they could just acknowledge how they feel – that it's not just a casual hookup with no strings and Shane is gay gay – they could happily drive off into the Canadian sunset together and all would be well.
But we know that's not the case, because we have Scott and Kip.
Scott is way more advanced in his career, he’s a lot more confident in flirting with a total stranger, he asks Kip to move in with him the morning after they have a first date that’s almost entirely sex and Kip agrees… and it doesn’t matter.
There is absolutely no ambiguity about their gayness or interest in each other, they are incredibly good at communicating their feelings, they do nothing but love and support and understand each other, they're practically married after like a week and a half, and it doesn’t matter.
Scott is still legitimately terrified of being outed. Literally the only thing holding him back from living with Kip in openly gay wedded bliss is hockey, but that’s enough.
The only similarity between Shane and Ilya’s messy slowburn fuckbuddies-to-lovers arc and Scott and Kip’s coffee smoothie shop romcom is the overwhelming dread of losing the career to which you’ve dedicated your entire life (to the point that you have almost no marketable skills or significant relationships outside of it and have repeatedly hurt yourself physically and mentally in service of it) because of the homophobia inherent in the culture surrounding it.
But that similarity is hanging over the entire plot like the sword of Damocles.
Which is also why Scott outing himself by kissing a man on live TV after winning the cup is so powerful that Ilya immediately drops everything and decides to come to the cottage instead. If Scott can have all of that hanging over his head and choose to knock it down like a fucking piñata, if Scott can see the disaster coming and invite it in, if Scott has all the same fears that Shane and Ilya do about coming out and can still say, "Fuck you, I'm doing it anyway, and in the most spectacularly public way possible," why not hang out for a week or two in (theoretically) complete privacy with the person you've been in love with for nearly a fucking decade?
Why not take the lifeline of hope Scott's providing and grab it with both hands?
Without seeing Scott and Kip's full story (not just the kiss we see at the end), the stakes for Shane and Ilya aren't as obvious. We need Scott and Kip so that we fully understand exactly where Shane and Ilya are coming from.
2) GO HOME! GO HOME!
you're fourty-five years old!
Haasleau hcs but Luca's pov
Luca spends an embarrassing amount of time pretending Cliff means nothing to him while simultaneously memorizing his schedule, interviews, flight days, and preferred coffee order.
Luca’s favorite thing in the world is making Cliff lose composure. A sharp inhale. A jaw twitch. One annoyed “Luca.” Absolute victory.
He starts fights when he’s scared Cliff’s pulling away. Not consciously. He just gets sharper, meaner, louder. Cliff figuring that out ruins Luca’s entire strategy.
Luca loves being manhandled slightly. Hand on the back of his neck. Pulled into Cliff’s side. Guided through crowds. It makes him feel insane every single time.
He acts annoyed every time Cliff calls him petnames but secretly starts anticipating them. “Pretty boy.” “Don’t call me that.” Please call me that again immediately.
Luca loves how big Cliff feels beside him. Bigger shoulders. Bigger hands. Steadier presence. He acts like this does not affect him whatsoever. It affects him tremendously.
Luca absolutely steals Cliff’s hoodies on purpose because they smell like him. He’d rather get hit by a truck than confess that.
He likes hearing Cliff laugh because it’s rare. Feels earned. Luca starts chasing that sound without realizing it.
Luca is deeply offended by how easily Cliff reads him. “You’re upset.” “No I’m not.” “You’ve been slamming cabinets for twenty minutes.”
Haasleau hcs but Cliff's pov
Cliff’s version of flirting with Luca specifically is just staring too long and saying things in that low calm voice that immediately makes Luca defensive.
The first time Luca falls asleep on him during a flight, Cliff genuinely doesn’t move for almost two hours because he doesn’t want to wake him up.
Cliff acts very “whatever” about Luca stealing his clothes until he sees Luca wearing one of his hoodies after a bad loss and suddenly that hoodie becomes Cliff’s favorite thing on earth.
He’s obsessed with making Luca laugh. Like specifically the real laugh — the one where Luca throws his head back a little and forgets to be cool for five seconds.
Cliff figures out early that Luca pushes when he’s scared. Picks fights. Gets sarcastic. Says things he doesn’t mean just to see if Cliff stays anyway. Cliff staying becomes very important very quickly.
He calls Luca “pretty boy” specifically when Luca’s spiraling because it annoys him enough to snap him out of his own head.
Cliff doesn’t really get jealous until he realizes Luca genuinely doesn’t notice when people flirt with him. Then it becomes: Oh so I have to deal with this AND you’re oblivious.
Cliff’s favorite version of Luca is the sleepy one. Quiet, messy-haired, half coherent, wearing Cliff’s clothes and leaning into him without thinking. Luca would be horrified to know this.
Personal Haasleau hcs
Luca absolutely acts like he’s the emotionally unavailable one in the relationship until someone flirts with Cliff for too long and suddenly he’s standing way too close with an arm over the back of Cliff’s chair like he pays rent there.
Cliff learns very early that Luca gets quieter when he’s upset, not louder. The worse Luca feels, the softer he talks. So now Cliff notices immediately. “What happened?” “Nothing.” “Baby.” “Don’t ‘baby’ me right now.” “Okay. What happened?”
Cliff’s petnames are lethal because he uses them casually. “Move, sweetheart.” “You’re impossible, pretty boy.” “C’mere, darlin’.” And Luca hates how much those work on him.
Luca pretends he doesn’t like domestic shit but secretly loves it. Loves grocery shopping at midnight. Loves laying on the hotel bed while Cliff watches terrible reality TV. Loves when Cliff cooks and hands him little taste tests without looking up.
Cliff is weirdly smug about being one of the only people who can get Luca to apologize sincerely. Not often. But genuinely.
Luca acts like he’s immune to romance but one time Cliff absentmindedly kisses the top of his head while half asleep and Luca thinks about it for like three weeks.
They have a running argument over who fell first. Cliff says Luca did because he was “obsessed from day one.” Luca says Cliff did because he “looked at me like a Victorian widow after one hookup.” Neither of them are correct. It was simultaneous and catastrophic.
Luca will never admit this out loud, but hearing Cliff laugh from another room immediately calms him down. Doesn’t matter how angry or stressed he is. Something in him just settles.
NEWWW WORKK!!!
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander & Ottawa Centaurs Team Ensemble & Ilya Rozanov Characters: Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Luca Haas, Troy Barrett, Harris Drover, Ottawa Centaurs Team Ensemble (Game Changers), Ottawa Centaurs WAPs Ensemble, Zane Boodram
Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Married Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, team shenanigans, Locker room antics, Crack Treated Seriously, Shane Hollander Has An Identity Crisis, Ilya Rozanov Is Smug, Accidental Emotional Damage, WAP Shane Hollander, Protective Teammates, Teasing, Possessive in a Funny Way, Shane Hollander Being Shane Hollander, “That’s Ilya’s Husband”, No One Realizes They’re Bullying Shane Hollander, Then Everyone Realizes They’re Bullying Shane Hollander, overcorrection, Ilya Rozanov Does Not Mind At All, Team Centaurs as Family, Humor, Fluff, Chaos, Short One Shot
Summary:
Shane joins the Centaurs.
Unfortunately, the team met him first as Ilya Rozanov’s husband.
OR
Shane Hollander discovers that being known as “Ilya’s husband” is significantly less glamorous than expected.
linkk
affirmation: I am capable of finishing the works of pornographic fanfiction I start writing
"Greased up Miles Teller with a moustache, he's a real vibe."
i love luca/cliff. two guys we've almost entirely made up ourselves. and they're really hot together
have i finally gone too far? you be the judge
NEWWW WORKK!!!
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Luca Haas/Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau Characters: Luca Haas, Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau
Additional Tags: Rivalry, Weird flirting, Possessive Behavior, Pain Kink, Kinda?, Luca Haas Has A Problem, Cliff Marleau Being Cliff Marleau, Pet Names, Bruises, Touch-Starved Luca Haas, Hypersensitivity, Banter, they’re weird about each other, Cliff Thinks The Bruise Is Hot, Luca Thinks Cliff Is Insufferable, But He Still Stayed The Night, Idiots in Love, Emotional Constipation, No One Is Doing This Normally, Developing Relationship, Secret Relationship Energy, Haasleau, i love them, Ship deserves more love
Summary:
Cliff checks Luca into the boards hard enough to leave a bruise blooming across his stomach.
Later that night, he can’t stop touching it.
OR
Luca discovers that getting body-checked by Cliff Marleau is somehow part of their flirting now.
Linkk
CHAPTER 2 OUT NOW!!!
ilya super nervous about svetlana and shane meeting. shane is anxious cus the only thing he knows is that she is gorgeous and ilyas childhood friend. sveta is beaming cus shane is her crush, she has a serious competence kink and obsession with hockey.
so when they meet, is awkward at first. ilya tries hard to break the tension (there’s no tension, is just shane is shy and sveta wants a piece of him) and then the two of them starts to talk about hockey and just forget that ilya is also there.
now ilya is mad that no one is paying attention to him and even when he glues his body against shane and whines, shane doesn’t even glance at him.
then ilya gets his revenge when he meets rose
Ilya Rozanov used to be the hockey king of insta thrist trap. Between shameful displays of the dick arrow and the broadness of his back, every so often traced with marks, the people were salivating. Thirst straps were periodically interrupted by pictures of him going wild at the club, in the dump a picture of him with a girl he definitely took home that night. Wild life hot athlete in a package. Then suddenly nothing since Tampa Bay's all-star game except for professional hockey announcements definitely written by his team. Until a fateful wedding picture photo dump that was actually the announcement of the thrist straps returns. Except the subject isn't him exclusively. Actually he's more like a rare treat on his own feed because all his post are about Shane Hollander looking extremely hot and sexy whenever and wherever. Laundry day, gym, bed, cleaning the living room, hiking, it's a Shane Hollander Fan page.