last night i had the most wonderful conversation with the least expected of individuals. but who turned out to be the most understanding. maybe it's not wonderful to talk about the death penalty and humans sending humans off to die. but we talked about how we are all part of the human race, and how killing one of us, is killing a part of all of us. how the absence of one individual changes everything, like the butterfly effect. think if i didn't exist you wouldn't be reading this. it was nice. i never really talk about this, though i study it and clearly have very strong feelings about it. and he helped me realize that despite me being just one being, i was everyone. that everyone has the power to not send another being off to their death. that i, in turn, am that individual.
anyhow, that wasn't the most exciting part of the night. that part was actually the moment when we talked about death. why people fear it, and the regular thought that people are just afraid of the unknown. and they are. but then i said. i am not afraid to die. he just looked at me, partly in fear. but it's true i am not afraid to die. he said i know why you are not afraid to die. because you are fulfilled. and i am. i could die right now and that would be ok.
i have a family. they are my friends who surround me. i've had a biological family and i have the best of memories with them. i have known love and i have known hatred, and i have know having and losing. i am who i wish to be everyday. and i am not afraid of tomorrow, and i embody my past. i am fulfilled.
