#journalentry2

[agent-z-18]

Journal Entry #2

October 8th

Okay, okay, so I think we’ve come up with a solution to how I can go to one of the energy orb retrievals without my family stopping me. I’m going to disguise as a villain for one of my family’s retrievals! It was all Taylor’s idea, really, but I think it’s brilliant. And it’ll keep me from being stuck at home and allow me to experience an EO retrieval without my family interfering. 

It started during lunch, the three of us decided to head down to Burger Bros and get some burgers and shakes, (senior privilege is the best, honestly,) and since the day was nice and rain-free for once, we decided to eat outside. Taylor and Jordan are the best, really. They are always willing to listen and suggest different ideas whenever it comes to my family problem. And this lunchtimes was no different. 

“You could always try telling them how you feel,” Jordan said before shoving a fistful of fries into his mouth. He says that every time we have this conversation. “You know that I’ve already tried that,” I said, huffing like I always do, “Everyone always dismisses me.” 

Jordan merely shrugged and it took a lot of will-power to not throw my strawberry-banana shake at his face. Which I’m glad that I didn’t. It would have been treason if I had. BB makes some of the best shakes around. Taylor, knowing that I was about to disgrace my milkshake, tapped my knee to gain my attention.

“What if you tried a different approach this time?” 

When it comes to asking my family about letting me get involved in the family business, I am pretty sure I have exhausted every avenue I know in how I bring up the topic. And the result is always the same. No matter day, night, weekday, weekend, school year, or summer vacation. The response is always; “No, Aydan, now just drop it.”

“A different approach?” I said back and Taylor nodded at me as she finished chewing a bite of her double cheeseburger.

“Yeah,” she said, nodding as if she was some sort of sage, “you’ve tried asking, so why not just… not ask? And just do it.”

When those words had left her mouth, I nearly choked on my drink. I, not once, have never not asked my folks before doing something. Especially when it meant leaving the house. It’s just… They lead such dangerous lives and have so much to worry about that I never wanted them to worry about me in the same way. So I would always ask before I did anything, this way they always know what I’m doing and where I am. It’s just a habit. I voiced this to Jordan and Taylor.

Taylor merely nodded and sipped her pop, “I get that, but you’re technically an adult now, right? Legally, you can join the army and vote now and next year, when we’re all in college, we aren’t going to be asking our parents to do stuff. So why not start practicing now? And I vaguely remember someone complaining about how he hasn’t been able to test out his tracker thing for his final project last year.”

  Dang. I really hate it when she’s right. But helping my family out without their permission? They’d throw a fit! But… I have been wanting a chance to test my EO tracker… And going to a retrieval without my family hovering over me would allow me to get better results… And I am the only one who knows how to use it right now. It’s really not a bad idea but…

“How would I even make it to a retrieval without my family noticing? Ray makes all of their vehicles and those only start with a chip that’s in one of their gloves,” I said, crumbling my cheeseburger’s wrapper into a small ball, “And they’re always informed when new orbs are located, so they’re always going to be at the retrieval. They’d flip if they saw me.” 

Taylor scowled in thought before snapping her fingers. “My brother is selling his old dirt bike since he got a new one for his birthday. He only wants about 70 bucks for it and it’s still in pretty decent condition. He was gonna give it to me, but Dad already promised to get me a new one as a graduation gift. I can text him and see if he’d be willing to sell it to you.”

I’ll never admit it, but now I’m thanking Evelyn for always wanting me to help her with her vehicles. I could customize it so that no one would know who it used to belong to. Eve always leaves extra parts laying around the garage, so I highly doubt she’d miss a few scrap pieces here and there.

“But there’s still the problem of his folks recognizing him at the retrieval,” Jordan reminded, flicking a fry at Taylor. It hit her in the shoulder but she managed to catch before it hit the grass and ate it just to spite Jordan.

If I hate it when Taylor is right, I absolutely hate it when Jordan is right. He’s like the mom of our group, always having this down-to-earth approach to everything we do. He is the more level-headed of the three of us while Taylor and I tend to have our heads in the clouds. And at this moment, Jordan’s face was twisted in his “You-Can’t-Be-Serious-About-This” expression and usually, that was enough to make us rethink our current train of thought. It almost worked on me but Taylor threw her burger wrapper at him.

“So? Then he can wear a disguise, just like they do,” Taylor said, shrugging, “I mean, it’s nearly Halloween, so I’m sure we could find you a hero costume and with someone’s help, fix it up to look decent enough to pass.”

“Don’t drag me into this!”

And, again, Taylor’s idea was sound, except…

“Heroes have to be registered by the government.”

Jordan looked at Taylor with a smug expression as I spoke but she merely waved her hand at me.

“Then be a villain for a night,” she said, a little too calmly in my opinion, “I highly doubt they have to be registered with the government and if they did, well, those villains are too dumb to be considered villains if you ask me.”

And here is where everything fell into place. Become a villain for one night. I mean, that would be all I need. A single night to see if I can really hold my own during a retrieval and to get the data I need for my tracker. I don’t need to be registered with the government to be a villain for a night and a lot of villains come and go. So I could go to a retrieval, see if my tracker actually works, let my family obtain the EO and then just vanish into the night, and nobody would be none-the-wiser. Then I could finally complete my tracker and prove that I can help my family without giving them a faulty gadget.

“Don’t tell me you’re actually contemplating this!” Jordan cried, grabbing at his hair. Hmm. Something is telling me that he really didn’t like our plan, but it’s a little late for that.

“But this might just be the only way I can help them out,” I said, “And besides, it’s not like I’d truly be a villain. I’d just be there for research purposes only. And if, for some reason, I do somehow get an orb or two, then I’ll just slip it into my parents’ vault. I was given access just in case Ray needs to get in, so that shouldn’t be a problem. And it’d only be for a night. Stop worrying, Jordan.”

The glare I received I will have nightmares of it for months to come. Seriously, Jordan is gonna make a great dad someday. His glare nearly rivals Mom’s and she has super strength to back up her glare. 

“Well, don’t expect me to help you…”

“I’ll let you design my villain outfit.”

Bribery of the clothe-making kind always works on Jordan. The moment those words left my mouth, Jordan’s mouth had snapped shut and this thoughtful expression crossed his face. And he’s the only one out of us who knows how to sew, so I kind of need him for this part. I’m really glad Mrs. F is keeping these journals private otherwise Jordan would kill me, knowing I use his love of making clothes to my advantage. And it helps that whatever Jordan makes is always wicked-looking, so he’s the best option for helping me make a decent villain costume. And if Mom and Dad become suspicious, then I can just use the excuse that he’s helping me with my Halloween costume or a cosplay of some kind.

And I’m just exploring all my possible career avenues as a good high school senior should. By testing my prototype and becoming a villain for a night. Mom and Dad do tell me to keep my career options open. XD.

I’m so gonna get grounded for this….

[kiramalibu]

Journal Entry II x 6.04.2017 - 7:18 pm

losing people that you love. there is nothing that can prepare you for it. no bootcamps, no signals, no warnings. people will promise you the world, then walk out of your life. sometimes it’s your fault. and sometimes it isn’t. hopefully you can piece yourself back together when everything falls apart when they leave.

kira malibu

[subaxoxolovelyme]

I Think It’s Brave

You are tired. I know what it feels like. You are tired but not just physically. Our world is a dynamic place to live in, it demands you a full attention, energy and effort, and eventually you get tired. You become tired of everything. You don’t know what to do. You don’t have an idea about your next step. That’s what my feelings right now. I know in myself that even if I do nothing, I feel very exhausted. Every day I wake up I hope I can be productive but it turns to be not. I know in myself that I’ve tried, I’ve tried too much. I put too much effort in being a better person, not only for yourself, but to be better for the others around you. The world is cruel and never gives anything back so you get tired. You have to play the game, play by the rules, and you never won. Your inspiration to try again is far gone. The truth is, we are all tired. You just need to remember you are not alone. In my early age, I’ve experienced this. I’ve experienced to be nothing. I already experienced a lot of things. I don’t understand everything. It’s like yourself is trapped in a dark place and you see nothing. It’s like you tried to do things but nothing happened. I thought when I was a kid, life was so easy and life was always fun. I used to think I could not feel tired but everything was just imagination and assumptions. You’ve been facing different problems, lack of time, academic problems, and other hard problems that you’ve experienced. I’ve asked myself a hundred times. I’ve asked what happened? Why do we need to experience such things? Life is a constant battle. We get tired of each other, tired of the games we play, tired of the lies we say and lies we heard. The cheerful thoughts you were once promised now seem tired. It feels like impossible to go on trying things. If you feel this close to giving up, I beg you to give it one more try, with your feelings. The thing is, you should never give up. The struggles we’ve been experienced is what keeps us going on. The more we try the greater the achievement will get. Suddenly, I came to the realizations of don’t give up. There is more hope that we are capable of having it. Every person you try to admire had experienced of where they felt hopeless and tired and the best example of that is our parents. But they choose to continue and solving that kind of problems instead of giving up and doing nothing. Some parts of our life happen quietly, they happen slowly in our life. They arise because of the choices we’ve made every day. The choices we make can turn us to be a better version of ourselves. The most important is we need to give enough time for ourselves. We have to allow those alterations happen and watch them evolve. When you feel tired just give yourself a butterfly hug method. When you’re tired, go quietly. Go slowly and timidly but remember do not stop. You have all the reasons to be tired because you are making a change.  Dream big, never give up is the most important thing you can do for yourself. Never lose focus on what you aim for in life, the idea is to never build barriers in your heart and do everything with love. People who fight against the wind always have a chance to gain, because they prefer the risk and gain experiences. God is always there watching you to fulfill the things you wanted. He will never get tired of protecting and watching you. Life is a test, a tough one, sometimes. And you got to get through it. Sometimes you feel lost. Doubts and negativity cloud the mind. Just don’t give up. Better times could just be around the corner, so you must keep fighting for just a little longer.

[jolya]

Questions

The following is a journal entry about the second module of the NSTP class dated September 16, 2019. The speaker, Miss Ivanka Custodio, talked about dignity and human rights.

As we have been given free rein with how the entry is written (and because I would hate for it to be JUST an informative essay), I will be writing this entry (and most of my entries) with creative liberty. (Although this one is really short)

Word count: 228 words

“All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights.”

Those words had stuck to me in the entirety of her talk. With what was happening right now in the country, I had yet to believe them true. Equality was always something that seemed lost in society for me. Was it really there to begin with?

...

But then she talked about the two different types of equalities. It was either equal treatment or equal outcome. And it made sense to side with the equal outcome. However, most people would see it as special treatment. Because for equal outcome to be achieved, one would need to give a boost to those in need. Then what about them? What about the people who would think that?

I mulled those thoughts over my head. It was so ironic that people would fight for equality when they have yet to thought what it really was.

She talked about rights as well. A few principles of them.

Universality. Interdependent. Indivisible. Equal.

Rights were entitlements we can claim and concepts we can use to keep us safe. However, was that still applicable to the current state of the country?

I shook my head, hating how questions without answers would pop out of my mind. 

But whenever the teacher would ask for questions, I would never raise a hand. 

Meh... maybe next time.

[anonymouseher]

12/16/17 2:10

Everyday I grow a little more, become a little wiser. I’m in a major evolutionary period of my life. I’m not lost but at times I almost feel that way.. I guess its because I notice the change. I don’t really know who I am at this point. I know I’m a good person with great morals and a strong head on their shoulders. Its a little mind blowing. I mean Ive been through a major evolution before… but I was so young I didn’t have the perception I do now.  Scary changing so much. I thought I had already grown into myself. but I’m like at this point of “Who are you becoming and who would you like to be”. I know the choice is mine I’m just scared I guess to really find out who I am, my full potential as a women frightens me a bit. 

-E.R.

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Many Faces Of An Actor. #PrinceSmith #JournalEntry2

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