#journalentry1

[subaxoxolovelyme]

Promise to a Stardust

Life had never been easy to everyone. We have different problems that we face every day. We have a lot of things to think. In my early age, I already experienced a lot of things. I already felt how to be hopeless. Seeing stars in the dark sky shining to give light in the night, memories flooded in my mind. The struggles, silent cries, pain and emptiness. There are things you won't expect to happen. There are times you don't know that will end and there are people who were with you to make memories but suddenly became a memory. Have you ever thought that you can find your true love in teenage? What was your definition of love? Do you believe that it will come to you at your early age? I was a kind of girl who focuses in my studies. I am lost in reality. I don't know who I really am. I don't know how to deal with a guy, well, not until he arrived. He was a kind of guy who jokes a lot, smiles every minute and can be the reason of laughter. We became close. We became comfortable with each other. And we found our own circle of friends. It was literally happiness for me. My friends who were with me the whole time. When we were struggling because of academics, we have each other’s arm. And him, Jake, who were with me all the time to cheer me up. After months of courting, I answered him. I clearly remember the smile on his face when he heard my yes. I feel like I'm living my best life while reaching my dreams. I have my family, friends and him, Jake. But life really have a twisted faith. You can't write your own destiny. You can't have your happy ending easily. Just when I thought that my life is already fine, full of shimmering eyes, genuine smiles and loud laughter, I never knew that it will end in just a blink. A sudden news popped on my phone. Many messages from my friends and a message who made me stopped. Jake is already gone. Yes, I lost my love. That is also the time when I also lost myself again. I don't know what is my feelings. I don't know what is missing. I can't just find myself. I don't understand everything. My mind and heart can't accept the struggles. I already don't know who I really am. I forgot that I have family, that I have friends who were with me all the time, that life has a lot of surprises. I was lost in the middle of nowhere. I was in the middle of darkness finding the light and my stardust who were already gone. I always ask myself that why do I always need to experience this such problems? Why do I need to carry a lot of expectations from other people? Why does life is so cruel? Why does reality hurts? Why do we need to lose some of our live ones? But there is only one thing I had realized despite those questions. It's life must go on. Even you were hurt a lot of times. Even you were lost. Even people around you can't accept the real you. Even you don't have a lot of friends. Even you don't know who you are and where you are. Life must go on. Why? God won't give you those circumstances if he knew you can't handle it. Accept your flaws and imperfections because that's what makes you perfect. Accept the real you. Accept that you need to survive life. You need to face those problems to achieve your dreams. You need to be fine. Maybe there are people who were really not meant to be with us forever. There are people who comes to our life to be a lesson. To make us stronger. Always treasure the memories you have with them. And if you feel lost, always remember that you have friends who were always there for you through ups and downs. Because based on experience, real friends were always there even if you push them away. If you can't find yourself, then find your home. Lean to the people who loves you eternally. In this life, you weren't alone. That's what friends and family are for, to lend a shoulder. I have my guide; I have my number 1 fan and I have my love. He's one in the stars shining in the dark sky. Every time I look up, I know, he's smiling at me, cheering me up, saying I can do it. I can overcome my struggles. I have him. My own stardust. It's my life. My story. My promise to my stardust.

[solarpunkdreams]

Wed Aug 23rd  Entry #1 

I’ve recently begun work on a vegan activism video. It will feature a song from Bright Eyes and be inspirational, emotionally heavy, but hopefully up-lifting. I’ll use found footage from famous youtubers Earhling Ed, Joey Carbstrong, James Aspey, and more. Wish me luck! Follow me on social media to get updates on everything I’m working on and my future activism. 

What kind of solarpunk content would you like to see?

[mylovemygy]

Journal Entry #1

For a second I forgot about tumblr. Thinking about how I needed to journal and keep track of my thoughts and behaviors and wanting to log it but not wanting to write it in a book but wanting to speak freely for people to see even if they don't care about it.

Cheers to working on consistency and discipline. Also I weight 205lbs at 5 ft tall that needs to be worked on. Im about to send a lot of money towards my debts and education.

One is to pay off and the other is to bring in fortune. I will do it on WGU. I have always said how I would go back to school once I can pay in full and here I am preparing myself to live up to those words. Is is worth it?? We'll see I want it so bad I feel like ive already had it for years now im just able to say I have it and look behind me to see it .

Ive heard that when you turn 27 your life usually takes a turn for doing the right thing and im at my 7 month mark away. The urge to really get into the Bible and study properly. If I can study the Bible and understand the Lord's word and teachings then I can learn and teach myself my courses for my certification and degree.

I am getting my masters in data analytics and my bachelors in supply chain management and my certification for full stack engineering. Is that attainable yes is it a lot hell yes but it sounds exciting and it just already feels like its mine so when it feels it it is it and I will bring it to full completeness and grow myself to provide a landscape for my empire. And be covered by God and learn him and his word to understand and peek into his plans for me that's all I really want is to just align with God's will of me. To follow his plan and what he sees in me in for to come into full fruition and use the gifts he assigned to me to be put to use for the greater good.

[jolya]

Identities

The following is a journal entry about the first module of the NSTP class dated September 9, 2019. The speaker, Miss Michelle Alcantara, talked about the self and others. Specifically, the self and its relation with others.

As we have been given free rein with how the entry is written (and because I would hate for it to be JUST an informative essay), I will be writing this entry (and most of my entries) with creative liberty.

Word count: 552 words

Identities have always been a hard concept to grasp. One can say, “This is my identity.” And yet not completely understand the whole extent of said identity. We try to learn it by understanding ourselves better but we may fail to include that to understand ourselves is to also understand our relationship with others.

“It starts with the self.” Ms. Alcantara had said.

Another way is to see it as how we view ourselves and how we relate that to others. Or better yet, how we view ourselves concerning others. We categorize ourselves with similarity and comfort. This breeds a level of closeness that is also achieved through the process of relating. With this, we can at least conceptualize our identity.

Of course, there are restrictions to this. What we don’t know about ourselves cannot be equated to others since it is an unknown trait or characteristic. We must also take into account our experiences. Because of these, there may be a change in our mindset. Which can also affect our relation to others. Each event in our life may cause us to change and this change can affect the levels of closeness we have already achieved.

To sum it up, the self, or how we view it, is related to others. Experiences may affect the way we relate to others which in turn can change how we view ourselves. Which changes the identity we have already established. Think of it as constantly evolving identities bred by experiences and relationships.

With this identity, we have a place in society. By living in a world where it’s inherent to label and define everything, having an identity means we are already classified to identity groups or subgroups. Where, unfortunately, some identities are not equal. This means that some are more favorable than others. Note that some identities we cannot change. Race is a very good example of this. Age, while constantly changing, is not something we can also change on a whim. Identities such as these have hierarchies, though some may not be as pronounced. This leads to oppression and discrimination.

What is wrong with hierarchy and identity discrimination? Aside from the fact that it disregards equality, hierarchical identities are advantageous to those who are at the top.

Another word for this? Privilege.

Privilege, as said before, is a product of identity discrimination and hierarchy. It is the unearned benefits given to those who are considered to be more favorable. Most of the time, some privileges are unacknowledged yet practiced daily. To say that someone has earned an honor in something because of hard work have underlying privileges. For example, a student coming from a well-earning family can comfortably study without worrying about other things. Compare this to a student who needs to work to pay for his own tuition instead of studying. The family we are born into is already an unspoken benefit/disadvantage we don’t acknowledge. Privilege comes with discrimination in terms that we see people without or with less privilege as us as lower. This ultimately affects our experiences and self-identities.

Everything comes in a full circle. The self is related to others. This forms an identity which in turn is classified into a hierarchy. This breeds oppression and discrimination that produces privilege. Privilege then affects our self and others.

[kaylarothana-blog]

12/2/16

I had my first therapy appointment today. It was another one of the most humiliating moments of my life, I was completely exposed and they told me I was going to have to gain weight. I nearly had a panic attack on the spot when I heard how much I was going to have to put on. Do they understand how hard I’ve worked to drop to all those pounds? Before I learned to control myself I weighted 130 pounds! I was a whale! How could they ever expect me to compete like that? I have managed to drop to 105 and I still look too fat yet they expect me to gain 20 pounds in just a few months.

I understand that this disorder is negatively impacting my body and I do want to recover but I still have an intense fear of gaining any weight. I don’t think I could ever eat some of the things they want me to. My nutritionist was talking to me about it but once she told me I had to eat more than 800 calories a day, I zoned out. 800 calories is the most I allow myself to eat, no more or I have to get rid of it. More than that would be an utter disaster, I would look bloated and none of my clothes would fit me, especially not the ones for rhythmic gymnastics.

Another doctor is helping to treat the damage I caused to my esophagus and teeth through purging. He told me that in order to prevent further damage I was going to have to stop purging immediately. Honestly, that's not something I think I will be able to do with the new high-calorie diet my nutritionist put me on. Maybe I will just switch to laxatives or something, although I’m not sure how I would hide that from my family. They are now monitoring my every move to make sure I don’t relapse.

[kyla-coffee-blog]

M Y P A S T M E M O R I E S || #20160621 > #bulletjournal #journalentry1 #journal #beginning <

[princepaulpage-blog-blog]

I Love Performing. 😁🎤🎵🎹 I'm all about growth and I'm looking forward to more and more each day. Thank you @Donwarbucks for posting this on TBT #performace #PrinceSmith #JournalEntry2 #Entertainer #Hi #JournalEntry1 #RnB

[falsesenseofentitlement]

Not the first.

This is not my first blog, not the second, not the third - in fact I’ve lost count at this point. They last as long as my ex-boyfriends, so not long and just as useless. But I might as well try again. Of course, this always starts after midnight paired with the irritating, repetitive thumping from my upstairs neighbors that prevents me from getting any solid sleep. So I’m left with either trying this again, or watching some subpar movie on Netflix. 

At this point, I’ll introduce myself as someone who is still lost in the backstreet boys playlist, microwaving breakfast, lunch and dinner, months away graduating from a university that’s too good for me, can never figure out social norms and have a decent grip on my professional future (couldn’t let this whole run-on be self deprecating, right?)