Therianthropy, but it's agonizing. Writhing in bed, twisting, teeth gnashing, bones cracking. Curled up, missing, missing, missing. Waiting to break out of the skin that you're trapped in.
THIS BODY IS NOT MINE. THIS FACE IS WRONG. TEAR IT OFF, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE.
My Dysmorphoria Monster, twisted together over years of not knowing why i didn't like my own body, unable to be separated now but I'm not gonna let them win, they are playing my game now!
this is my take on my own Dysphoria Demon as created by @biblicallyaccuratemoth
No one Bullies My Partner (Abby X GN! AFAB Reader Smut)
It's one of those nights where you find yourself hating the way you look until your boyfriend Abby hears you do it.
A/N: i've been hit with that dysphoria and dysmorphia combo tonight, so i'm fighting it with this. (i also just realized that this is technically the first time i've ever posted smut here lol)
CW: strong language, Dysphoria/Dysmorphia mentions, Unprotected! PiV sex(don't try this one at home, y'all), some edging, some spanking, a little rough handling around the end, positions change, consent is implied
This is the third time you've looked in the mirror, and all you see is the same damn thing. The bumps on your skin, the scars from constantly mauling acne, your hair slightly frizzed from the humidity, not even to mention your body. You washed your face, did your best to fix your hair, and then tried to find an angle of your face that would make yourself feel better to no avail. The more you looked at yourself, the worse you felt about yourself. You wish you had better hair, a sharper jawline, less acne.
"Disgusting," you thought as you look at yourself. You then leave the bathroom, less confident than you already were. But, as you spent time away from the mirror while getting your pjs on, you began to slowly but surely creep out of your headspace and stop drowning in the self-deprecating thoughts. That's when you notice you had gotten a text. You check your phone to see it was your boyfriend, Abby, who had texted you about 20 minutes ago:
*I'll be there soon. I can't wait to see you ;)*
With the Saja Boys keeping him so busy, it's been a while since you two could spend some quality alone time together, so you had initially planned a nice stay-in date, along with some, well... quality time.
Yet there was a lingering sense of self-hatred from the awful things you said and thought about yourself a couple minutes ago.
You were torn. You wanted him, you needed him, yet you didn't think you deserved him, not looking like this.
Makeup would only be a lie, and sooner or later, you would have to wash it off. Ashamed of how you feel, you wondered if you should text him to ask for a rain check until you hear a knock at the door.
Abby was here.
As soon as you answered the door, you were wrapped into a tight embrace and lifted off of the ground. As he held you in his arms, you buried your face within the crook of his neck and took a deep breath.
"Missed me, Dear?"
Oh, you most certainly did.
"Mmhmph," you mumble, face still pressed against him. He chuckled and set you down.
"I missed you too," he said, kissing you on the forehead.
God, he was so sweet you could cry.
"Is it ok if I go wash up real quick?" He asks while setting his jacket down.
"Of course," you said, shutting the door.
Abby nodded and ascended the stairs to the bathroom. He had some clothes in the spare guest room from the last time he had spent the night, so he was able to change afterward.
He had mentioned that him and the boys had gotten dinner together, so you used the time that Abby was in the shower to heat your tea kettle.
As the water warmed, your mind started to wander. You wanted to join Abby in the shower. You wanted your soapy wet body pressed against the glass door as his cock stretched you out. You wanted to feel his hands groping your body. You wanted his fangs in your neck.
You felt lightheaded just thinking about it, until the loud whistle of the kettle snapped you out of it.
When you turned the burner off, you realized that Abby had left the shower and was coming down the stairs. Unsurprisingly, he was shirtless, wearing the light blue sweatpants from the Saja Boys merch drop that happened a couple of weeks ago. He wiped the residual water from his hair and shoulders and sat on the couch with a sigh.
"What a day," Abby said.
"Oh?" You inquired, sitting next to him.
He turned to you and smiled. "Let's just say it's really good to see you right now."
You lean towards him and kiss his shoulder before resting your head there. "It's good to see you too."
You both sat here for a minute, taking in each other's company. As you sat, you wanted to sneak your hand over onto his thigh, yet those sinking thoughts about yourself slowly started coming back, causing you to fidget with your shorts instead. But before the thoughts in your head began to consume you, you felt Abby's hand start to make his way up your own thigh. You froze as he caressed you, stuck between wanting him to continue and feeling as though you don't deserve it.
"What's wrong?" You heard Abby say, taking his hand off of your thigh.
You wanted to say it was nothing, but you knew he wouldn't buy it, so you sit up and spill what's on your mind.
"I guess I just wish I had your eyes so I could see what part of me is actually attracting you right now."
"I'm sorry, what?" He said, confused.
There was something about Abby's tone when he interrupted you, but you figured it was because he didn't catch what you said.
"Well, Darling," You continue, standing up and gesturing to yourself. "It means I'm a bit of a walking mess. My hair is chopped, my face looks like it's going through puberty again, and I pretty sure I've gained weight in all the wrong places. I look hideous."
"Excuse me?"
Now, his tone was quite evident. He heard what you said, and he was NOT having any of it. He stood up, took hold of your arms, and pressed his lips against yours.
You could feel your face getting hot again as you wrapped your arms around Abby. Your heart began to race as you felt his hands slowly slipping around your hips.
Suddenly you feel yourself get swooped off the ground once more, as you get slung over your boyfriend's shoulder.
"Abby!" You yell, laughing as you try to steady yourself.
"You think I'm gonna let you talk about yourself like that? Nope. I'm dealing with this tonight." He said. As he spoke, you noticed his patterns slowly forming down his back.
Oh shit.
Abby makes his way upstairs while hauling you effortlessly on his shoulder. Once he entered your bedroom, he threw you onto the bed.
You gasped as you hit the mattress, and before you could even think, he was on top of you, eye aglow with lust. He pulled you into a passionate kiss, grinding into your hips as he did. You squirmed as you could feel just how badly he wanted you through his pants.
"Fuck me already," you gasp as Abby slid down to kiss your neck.
"Eager now, are we?" He growled in your ear as he ripped your shorts off. You couldn't get your shirt off quick enough as he slid down his pants.
Yet his own desperation took hold over him the moment he saw just how much you had soaked through your underwear, causing him to latch onto your lips once again, even hungrier than the last.
You then felt a draft of air in between your legs followed sudden hot pressure of your boyfriend's cock thrusting into you. You would have cried out if Abby didn't have his tongue damn near down your throat. Instead, what came out of you were muffled moans as you could feel his hips colliding with yours.
Abby finally lets you breathe, and you can feel a string of your combined saliva lingering between your faces like a web.
"Fuck!" Abby manages to rasp between his own breathless pants. "You-hnngh-you look so fucking perfect under me."
The slapping of both of your hips gradually became wetter as he fucked you, and the squelching of your own pussy drove you mad. You could feel yourself slowly starting to unravel beneath him, and your legs started to tremble.
He could tell you were close and suddenly slowed his thrusts.
"Fuck, Abby please!" You whine, wanting nothing more than for him to empty himself inside you.
"You want it in you tonight, don't you?"
"Yes-haah- please come in me-"
You then feel Abby take hold of your face and move it to face him.
"If I do this, you're NEVER gonna shit talk yourself that badly in front of me again, you hear me?"
You then realized just how serious he took the things that you had said about yourself.
"That's right," Abby continued, "You. Are. Mine. And NO ONE gets to bully MY Partner. Not even you."
"Abby I-" You tried to protest only to be met with a swift slap on the ass, causing a noise in between a gasp and a squeal slip out of your lips.
"Do I making myself fucking clear?"
You try to nod in response, but this wasn't enough for him. "Say it," he demanded. "Say you fucking won't."
"I won't, I won't!" You concede, barely able to hold yourself together.
"You better not," He snarled. "You better fucking not."
You felt him exit you only for a moment as he flipped you on your front by your thigh. You felt one arm wrap you into a headlock as the other held fast onto your hip as he thrusted into you with a groan once more.
Nothing but whimpers came out of you as you were now pinned under Abby, who was now ruthlessly fucking you into the mattress.
"Fuck, you take my cock so well," He groans into your ear. "I love you so much."
"F-fuck, I love you too, Abby!" You manage to gape out, on the verge of your own orgasm.
It hits you both around the same time, washing over You first. Your vision blurred and your legs quaked as you could feel the walls of your cunt tighten around your boyfriend's cock.
Then it was Abby's turn. He releases you from the hold around your neck, and bracing his free arm onto your bedframe you can hear him shudder as he drained himself inside of you. You could also hear the portion of the bedframe he caught hold of cracking under the pressure of his hand.
After a moment, you felt him slip out once more, and you giggled coyly as a couple hot ropes of semen hit your bare back.
After one more good pat on your ass, Abby got off of you and flopped next to you with a satisfied sigh.
You then found yourself wrapped in his embrace yet again, and he caressed your tired body as you laid your head upon his chest.
You both sat like this for a while, bathing in the afterglow, until Abby gently moved you to carry to the bathroom to clean up.
That night you had gotten to shower with Abby like you wanted, only it was far better than you had hoped. It was sweet, it was loving, it was close and passionate. Half of it was mostly the two of you hugging each other as the water hit you, the other half was actual cleaning, and Abby helping you wash your hair, keeping the shampoo from getting into your eyes.
While drying off, you then caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, your dark, coily, curls bouncy and dripping, and your face clean and dewy, still blushing from the passion of the night.
"Feeling better?" He asked You.
"Absolutely." You replied with a smile, because in that moment, you felt like the hottest motherfucker alive.
Human minds are unstable compared to Pokemon. It’s much worse when they turn into Pokemon.
Imagine waking up in a world where only Pokemon rule, and you find yourself in a Pokemon body. Your mind is no different, but your body is. The world, while dangerous, has stronger moral values, even ‘bad’ Pokemon wouldn’t go too far, but you’re not biologically wired to be as docile as these Pokemon. You’re aware of the evils that people from your life is capable of, but Pokemon aren’t as cruel and sadistic.
You are likely to portray antisocial tendencies in the view of other Pokémon, potentially offending or scaring others with your normal human behavior. Perhaps your strategic approach to things makes them side-eye you, maybe your unusually high knowledge of other Pokémon is unsettling, like how do you know every egg group or move set????
Your mind clashes with your new body, and to add onto that, nobody believes you’re a human. You lost your identity, your home, and you’re physically fighting off roided up animals that can talk smack to you. To make matters worse, if those same pokemon believed you, they become wary of you, scrutinizing every move you make simply because you’re from an extinct species that ruled the world eons ago.
You’re a genetic and mental mess. You’re supposed to cater to your pokemon needs, but your human mind is screaming for its old needs to be met. There’s a high possibility of you having body dysmorphia, especially if you’re a gender-oriented pokemon or a Pokemon with a body type that goes against your mind. You don’t even realize it… or maybe you do, and it’s making it worse.
The worst part is nobody can help you. They don’t know what to do to make you whole or what it’s like to be human. They don’t know how cruel and evil humans can truly be, what effects they left on you before you entered the world of Pokemon.
TW: Self harm, body dysmorphia/dysphoria, general body image issues, disordered thoughts.
Anyone can interact
It was late, Archie had been reclusive all day; more than normal. He had appeared for 2 out of 3 meals- which is more than usual.. but something just seemed off.
The clock hit 10pm and.. Archie just stopped functioning. He felt bad. He felt bad.
Looking in the mirror- he's a girl. He's fat. He's ugly. His scars are ugly- his body is ugly. He's not even a pretty girl.
He wants to escape this stupid fucking body- he's useless. Why does anyone like him? He's just an ugly bitch.
..These are bad thoughts- fuck. He's such a bad person. Fuck. He's a bad person- he's an attention whore. Stupid- stupid.
Archie deserved this. He deserved the blood dripping down his wrist- he deserved the scars on his thighs and legs- he deserved everyone's dirty looks. Everyone deserved to see just how ugly Archie was- and if they couldn't see it, Archie would make them.
You find Archie- his scarred legs and arm uncovered; scrolling on his phone.
He looks up at you like a deer in headlights, covering himself with a blanket.
the anons talking abt how ppl attempt to draw fat ppl remind me how i want to work on my internalised fatphobia with my art, but i keep ending up triggering my dysmorphia and reducing it or struggling w the shading
