Sort of along the lines of this post, “Small Potatoes” (s4e20) does a really good job of articulating Mulder and Scully’s loneliness. I’ve thought a lot about the scene in “One Breath” (s2e8) where Mulder confronts Cigarette Smoking Man in his apartment, and it becomes abundantly clear just how empty CSM’s life is. He’s a lonely old man who let his work become his life. He has no friends, no lovers, nothing that brings him joy except for the game. And sometimes I wonder how far off Mulder and Scully are from becoming him. They don’t know how to reach out, so they bury themselves in their work. At least work gives them an excuse to be together.
But then one Friday night, Mulder shows up with a bottle of wine. No occasion, no excuses needed. He just wants to spend time with Scully. I wonder how long Mulder and Scully had been dying for a night like that. And then the real Mulder storms in, and they’re both lonely again. It wasn’t real.
That final moment, when Mulder says “I’m no Eddie Van Blundht,” makes me so fucking sad. He really believes that he’s missing something, that Eddie Van Blundht possessed some ability to bridge the gap between them that Mulder could not. He can’t see that it wasn’t Eddie Van Blundht that charmed Scully, but him — the four years of love built up between them. All he has to do is reach out.
