#junichronicles

[the-dead-starchild]

3/12/2021

Just fucking PLEAAAAAASE! Give me a break! The moment my foot starts to get better you decide to act up?

I just want to sleep. I want to sleep but I fucking can’t. I want to sleep but YOU keep flooding my brain with dumb ass shit I know isn’t true yet I’m driven to tears.

I thought I was getting better? I thought I was stronger than this already? I know I’m off my medication but why after weeks is this happening? I sit here at 2:56am crying because my thoughts are too loud. Just shut up. SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

No, you are not being replaced, no you are not annoying them and if you were they would tell you! Yes you’re a good friend to them! They love and appreciate you and have shown you that so many fucking times! At this point I would be insulted if I were them because these doubtful thoughts still plague my mind! So shut the fuck up, stop being selfish, leave me alone and let me sleep you stupid fucking brain! Don’t leave me like this crying.

Why after all this time are you deciding to be so loud again?

Just let me rest…

Please just stop crying.

[the-dead-starchild]

Perhaps you should stop saying sorry if you don’t mean it. Sorry without changed behaviour is meaningless.

Nothing has changed.

[the-dead-starchild]

And you doubted yourself… even though time and time again you have proven yourself.

Look at you making waves, Assistant Manger 🥰

Aldi never deserved you.

[the-dead-starchild]

Tired. Very tired of trying everyday. Can’t help but think “is it really worth it anymore?”.

When do I get to stop being strong and just be vulnerable?

Drained.

Sleep.

[the-dead-starchild]

Why does it always seem like if I’m not the one initiating something, nothing will happen? I won’t hear from you, little to no effort will be made? No calls returned, messages answered when only when it’s convenient for you?

Just seems like it’s one sided at this point. Why does it seem like I’m the only one trying to keep things alive?

[the-dead-starchild]

A lot of people met me when I lacked boundaries and was a people pleaser.

Let me reintroduce myself now. I burn bridges as needed.

[the-dead-starchild]

I think it’s about time to match the energy and effort being put into me.

If people wanted to be in my life then they would.

Nothing should be one sided.

[the-dead-starchild]

Choose your own peace. Always.

Don’t compromise it for anyone.

It’s okay to tolerate less.