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11.17.2014.
Dear journal,
If there’s one person that I’d feel bad for about this whole situation, It’s Soojung. She’s my friend, and his friend too, and being in the middle of this I know It’s not easy. I know she tried her best to help, but I guess like she said, there are just too many misunderstandings, and the two of us are both too late. She said he cried. I told her to please not tell me. Because It would just hurt even more, and I already can’t bear all these feelings. They are killing me. I don’t know how to face them. Can I please, please, please run away?
- Bbom.
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11.20.2014.
Dear journal,
I finally talked to Soojung again. I was avoiding everyone, okay, It wasn’t just her. Even though I do admit that I avoided her more than the rest, because I didn’t know how to face her. I’m scared if I see her I’d ask about that person, or she would tell me on her own, and I’d find myself going back to square one. It feels like somehow It has become a forbidden topic that neither of us should bring up. I feel like a selfish best friend, for putting her through everything.
She said she likes Chorong unnie and Naeun’s hair. Tch, that girl, so not supportive. But I’m just glad we are talking again, somewhat, even though It still feels a bit awkward on my part. It’s like there is a wall between us and I’m not sure I can climb just yet. I want to ask her if he’s doing okay, if he’s talking to her, I know I shouldn’t do that, though. Hopefully this phase will pass, soon. She’s my best girl friend, and the last person I want to feel this way around. I hate myself for making things more difficult than they already are. I have to focus on the comeback, that’s what I should do. Soojung’d better go visit me some times, or I'ma flip so bad. I miss her, though. I miss being able to talk to her about anything and everything and just laugh and be dumb with. I need to find that person again. Bomi, fighting.
- Bbom.