It’s embarrassing writing an awesome, happy post thinking things are going well and then suddenly it just.. falls a little.. but its the truth. So, I got back from hanging out with the Halloween Tinder boy around 9pm and I had a good cry and called a friend to talk to..
Nothing bad actually happened, don’t worry. We got Wendy’s, watched about 11 episodes of Sword Art Online (I like it btw~) and he brought a blanket out.. and half way through he asked if I’d like to cuddle.. and like.. it’s just the second time meeting, first time hanging out, and cuddling is a more intimate thing.. y’know? So I declined, said that this is just the second meeting, I’d like to take things slow, but I appreciate him asking first for consent. And he understood, told me not to be sorry or feel bad.. but like.. ah I dunno, it just seemed “off” after rejecting him. The car ride was silent, the goodbye was quick but we did hug.
Like.. I know I shouldn’t be sad and hurt about it. He’s just one match of many. But I can’t help it.. I feel like I’m so inexperienced with guys and hanging out with them that I’m just awkward and weird.. I don’t like feeling intimidated by them either.. I don’t like messing things up.
I told him prior I was just looking for friends, and I know he’s into me but like.. what happened to taking things slow? Like.. building a friendship, getting close, having cute, shy crushes, trying to make them like you back, wondering if they like you back.. and then confessing feelings and asking one another out? That’s how it was when I was growing up, even if feelings weren’t reciprocated. And it was always awesome when TV show characters got together when they were just friends before. Aah.. why does everyone want to rush into relationships? I mean, I have my ideas and thoughts on it, but that’s a different post. It’s just sad, is all. Well, not to shame, I guess. But I guess that’s what you’ll likely get on Tinder.