#just about

[fav0ri7e]

really craving attention rn ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡ i wish i had a lover that would never take their eyes off of me ever

[spectroacha]

so yknow that one mod, the mucked beastfly?

here’s an idea i had of it being an actual, distinct boss!

Corpse Muckfly

Lost, disheveled adult Beastfly parasitized and zombified by prolonged submersion in Muckmaggot-contaminated water.

“In such a state, any creature could barely be considered alive. A harrowing look into the fate of creatures that fall into that wretched brine but do not die within it.”

I have an idea on its new (hopefully more fair) fight would go but i wanna hear what you folks think of it in general. A terrible form for a horrible boss, yes?

[butterflyglass]

Trying to find your own map on your Tumblr because it's too hot and you forgot where you put Cornley in the UK.

[synthie]

feeling your grown out hair against your bare back and chest top 5 human experiences

[bapple117]

Sorry I’m not super active on here at the moment, tumblr pals! Between life being busy and having a pretty major surgery in like 3 days time, I just haven’t had a lot of free time to dedicate to fandom stuff. I am alive and well though and I am still working on fics & stuff!

I hope you’re all doin good 🌝

[oceansaurora]

why is sitting down and doing the things i love so goddamn difficult, except when i get stuck in a trance and can’t do anything except those things for genuinely like over twelve hours straight (usually when i actually very much should be doing other things)

not me having one million plans for both of my fics (and an ever growing masterdoc full of ideas for the sequels and prequels & extra content for each) because my brain jumps ahead to the next part of things so so fast that it would actually be impressive if it wasn’t also lowkey debilitating. like, i barely even sleep really because my rapid fire inner monologue just never shuts up. if you cant tell, i’m unmedicated rn. it’s a nationwide issue really, loads of people are in limbo. very much an ocean issue because my million mile an hour brain is getting pretty tiring to try and keep up with again and i’ve never been any good at doing the limbo.

anyway— there’s some pretty pivotal plot for both stories fully written already but the really wild stuff is trapped in notes app purgatory for the foreseeable because i somehow need to convince my brain to lock in and do the less appealing but very necessary stuff first so that the big emotional bits (that don’t need me to lock the fuck in so intensely because they mostly just appear in my brain like actual prophecies , usually while i’m spaced out in the shower) get their necessary context.

case in point: its gone 5am. guess how many hours i’ve been trying to write some filler parts of the next connecticut flashback for INHLW! and guess how many words i’ve actually managed to write! (The answer is five. FIVE!)

meant it when i said i bet this is why there’s like barely any adhd amelia & autistic lexie fics. none of us have the fuckin attention span ;) i will prevail however. addison in new york style, “we don’t quittttt!!!”

it’s just frustrating because i have written some wild stuff the last few days and i’m so far off from being able to post any of it :’) heart full of pride and a notes app full of angst, nothing to show for it yet.

rant over but trust when i say i am so much more committed to this than the frequency of my updates and the word count of what’s been posted so far would have you believe. despite the massive rant i adore this hobby. it may be the only good coping mechanism I’ve ever had and starting to write again has led me back to a side of myself i thought was long swallowed by my burnout era. u have no idea how much writing these stories is affecting my actual day to day personal life. (so much!)

i just have very mixed feelings about my brain. big feelings about brains just in general tbf.

anyway. practicing what i preach and being kind to all the parts of myself n whatever. frustrating, hyperactive and ridiculously contradictory brain included. admitting defeat for now & going to bed.

INHLW update coming soon and by soon i mean within this decade.

(edit to say omg forgot to mention i finally did a massive “wow i can’t believe i let these typos slip thru the cracks despite the fact i proof read like a maniac???” edit for inhlw yesterday so, at least there’s that. small wins lol)

(another edit to say that i admire my own dedication to my never going anywhere near any sort of ai at all because lowkey that might’ve saved me 6 hours of my life yesterday but we move.)

[itsmythang]

Damn I definitely need to purchase one of those so my son won't ever get “SWWB” Stopped While Walking Black 😝