Discover Top Posts Tagged with #justascoop

337th

You know "it's" back when you're starting to ignore messages in messenger again, just so you can read them without the sender being notified by a "seen" from you. When you're staying again in the space between pushing and pulling away. When you're thinking about leaving everything again and isolating yourself because you feel like you don't deserve company.

You want to be left alone so you can feel "independent" because lately, you're being so dependent on the people you love, but then half of you doesn't want to be alone. Because it's lonely.

You want to stay away from them, you punish yourself for being too attached by restraining yourself from talking to them, or even seeing them. Because deep inside, you know, they can live without you, but you can't.

So you try to act like everything's fine and tell everybody that solitude is bliss, when it really isn't. You try to act like you don't care anymore like how they seem to not care at all about how you feel.

You know it's definitely back when you're feeling angry and hurt and sad all at once, and you can't do anything to fix yourself. And it's so lonely, that it hurts so much, to know that nobody's persistent enough to volunteer to fix you.

So you face the same empty wall and stare at it with tears running down your face, unconsciously, wondering why it doesn't end though you've been constantly crying each night.

You know this too shall pass but, hey, isn't it just getting worse?

-JAS

#justascoop #bad days #prose #writing #feeling #down

Pitcher of joy

I wish I’ve never grown up. I wish I’ve stayed small, with big dreams and aspirations.

I want to go back to the time when the only reason I have for crying is my mom leaving the house for work or my dad not kissing me goodnight.

I wish childhood have never flown out of my life when all I did was take it for granted—thinking that happiness would never age, that it would stay. Because now, I’ve noticed that in every birthday, the pitcher full of joy inside me slowly drinks itself. And in no time, I guess, it would be empty—leaving no sign of its existence, not even a droplet.

—JAS

#justascoop #joy #growth #grow up #growing up #childhood #prose #write

If it does wait, so should I...

I love the idea of love.

I love the thought that somebody holds my hand in the sea of people. I love the thought that there's someone who doesn't want to lose hold on me. I love thinking about tight hugs and the never-ending late night conversations.

I love thinking of love's ability to replace all the sad tears with joyful ones. I love how everything seems to be when someone is in love—in the movies, in the books, and in the songs I love listening to. It's like staying afloat and not getting scared of sinking.

Perhaps, I only love the idea of love. The one that does not get bruised by time and distance.

Because I am afraid of loving and losing. I am afraid of the love that gets old and leaves. I am afraid of the love that gets wounded. I am afraid of the love that never heals.

So I always end up shutting my doors from love—because I know, I am not yet ready to let it in.

—JAS

#justascoop #thoughts #write #prose #love

I used to miss how your lies lulled me to sleep when reality demanded an all-nighter. Now, I can only regret missing out on everything just because you told me that I need only you. You were wrong.

JAS, exes were named so for a reason

#justascoop #poetry #exes #past #realization #lesson #learned #ex #means #wrong

To you, who’s still here

You are the warrior of your own battle and your mind is the battlefield.

But you don't need any superpower to get through it. You don't need any armor, nor any other weapon. Just a strong will to fight and win.

Never lose hope. This time, you're not alone. We'll get through it together.

#WorldMentalHealthDay —JAS

(This was posted on my facebook page on the exact day of the celebration but I never had the chance to post it here at the same date because my laptop’s charger got broken. And yep, I just got a new one so I’m making up for the lost time hahaha thank you for reading)

#justascoop #world mental health day #hope #motivation

Insomniac

Maybe sleepless nights are our punishment to ourselves—we think we do not deserve to rest, or sometimes, we think sleep won't help lessen the tiredness we feel so why would we bother do so?

Or maybe, sleepless nights are our reward. Because when everything else is quiet, that was the time we can hear ourselves.

We all have our own reason to stay up all night. Which one is yours?

—JAS

#justascoop #just a thought #sleep #sleepless #nocturne #nocturnal #insomiac #reason

After all, I was, and will be, my one and only motivator

I remember telling myself to shrug off all the negativities in life so I can go on living positively. I remember believing that I am the master of my own mind, and I am the only one who can control it. I remember thinking things through and reasoning everything out in a way that I can understand everybody in the world, how they treated me and why. I remember defending so many people from my own viewpoint thinking this could possibly lessen the pain it has given me. I remember putting myself on other people's shoes just so I can stop myself from envying them or hating them every time they do me wrong. I remember telling myself to just shrug off, because this is just how life's going to be. Always. But after all the sessions of late night reflections, I still feel the same.

I still cry over an old argument. I still get insecure. I still feel anxious. I still pity myself for not being the best I could ever be. Despite thinking things positively, still there are points in this life where I have nowhere to go and nobody to talk to. There are emotions I can't avoid. There are things I still can't understand.

Although, I'm still holding on. No matter how thin the thread is, there's still a part of me that can't let go. No matter how much darkness this world throws at me, there's still places inside me that looks up as the sun rises. Telling me that it's okay. It's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to feel sad. It's okay to cry. It's okay to not be perfect. It's okay to not be strong or good enough. For each day is a new chance to prove my anxiety wrong.

Deep inside me, there is a voice that says: "The world is not out to get you. It is you who'll conquer it."

—JAS