#justin walker

[maybethistimemegz]

One Film for each of my 35 years ✣ Clueless (1995)

Would you call me selfish? No, not to your face.

[aceofwhump]

Justin Walker overdoses on pain medication in Brothers and Sisters 1x08 "Mistakes Were Made: Part 1"

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.286 Unlicensed wisdom (pt. 2)

The words dropped like lead. I knew exactly what she meant. The way Chi Chi looks at you is like she's taking in a work of art; it's one of the best things about her. It's the thing that took her from being a hot stranger to being a trusted friend. But to hear it from Sophia as something I lack ... That stung.

“And I don’t?”

Her eyes pleaded with me. She bit her lip as if trying to will me not to keep going. But I held her gaze.

“No,” she whispered. “Not anymore.”

Her glistening eyes threatened to undo me. I'd confess almost anything to keep her from crying. The ache in my chest wanted to stop here and resolve to go home a guilty man, but I needed to understand.

“What does that even mean?”

Her shoulders fell, as if the question exhausted her.

“It means ... when I walk into a room, you don’t look up the way you used to. We don't sit and laugh about dumb stuff anymore. It means you don't ask how I am anymore. You just assume everything is fine because you're fine.”

I swallowed hard and felt naked in front of a crowd.

“You only see the version of me that keeps the house running, that takes care of the kids, that’s still standing at the end of the night," she continued. "But you don’t see me. Not the woman who’s tired. Or lonely. Or scared she’s losing the one person she trusted to always see her.”

Justin’s head nodded, approving every slap on my face. “This is good. Let it all out.”

She wiped at her cheek, frustrated with the tears. “I don’t want Chi Chi. I don’t even think of her like that. But when she looks at me, I feel like she's looking straight through to my soul. And when we talk, she makes me feel like there's no place else she'd rather be. It feels good. When she's around, I remember what it’s like to be noticed. To feel like I exist outside of cleaning and bedtime routines and worrying about you.”

I sat there stunned. Shame dug its claws in deep.

“I don’t need grand gestures," she said, still wiping her cheek, looking at the floor. "I just need you. Hearing me. Looking at me. Seeing me.”

Justin let the silence linger a bit before he spoke.

“That was beautiful. You have anything to add, Luc?”

The room was quiet, yet I could hear the frantic beat of my heart over the traffic noise. Her words hung in the air like smoke I couldn’t wave my way through. I wanted to argue, to say I do see her, every day, every second. But the examples she rattled off cut me off at the knees. She wasn’t wrong. I stared at my hands, the table, the couch ... anywhere but her face. My chest felt like it was caving in.

“But I thought…” My voice came out low and shaky. “I thought I was doing it right. Working hard, showing up, keeping things steady. I thought that was enough.”

Sophia looked at me, eyes tired but resolute. “It used to be.”

That one hit harder than I expected.

Justin cleared his throat, pulling the weight off just a fraction. “If only it were that simple, right? I'm no therapist, but this isn’t the end. Most folks don’t even get this far. You two? You’ve still got a lot of fight left. Believe that.”

I nodded, though my head felt heavy. I believed him. It was never my goal to continue this way. I wanted to start anew, but all I could feel was the ground shifting under me, and I had no idea how to catch my footing. We should have paid Justin instead of that quack.

[imstuckin1999]

{Clueless Premiere on the beach in Malibu 1995}

[of-fear-and-love]

Clueless (1995)

[rosabie]

[camyfilms]

CLUELESS 1995

Do you prefer "fashion victim" or "ensembly challenged"?

[loveboatinsanity]