✧ pairing: sneaky link/situationship idol! juyeon x fem! reader
✦ genre: smut w/ hints of angst n fluff
✧ warnings: 18+ (minors DNI), smut, cowgirl position, riding, unprotected sex (WRAP IT FOLKS), creampie, dirty talk, praising, pet names, cursing, kissing, marking, spanking, fluff, secret relationship, hints of angst, “star-crossed lovers” trope kinda-ish question mark so things are kept on the low under restrictions
✦ word count: 3.6k words
✧ synopsis: you’ve tried various positions with the lee juyeon. will you ever get to be in the position of being his official girlfriend or able to be a normal couple? or is that merely a fantasy?
✦ note: inspired by the weeknd’s song “double fantasy” enjoy! xo <3
𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪
“‘Atta girl. You do so good for me every time.” he praises as your naked form sinks down to take his cock. Your hands are holding dearly onto his shoulders while his own are stuck to either side of you.
He ensures you carefully sit over his dick, his head resting against your headboard, sighing wistfully. Taking him inch by inch and hearing those strained and broken, heavenly moans of yours is reminiscent of the last time you guys did it— and the time before that. And the time before that.
Your back arches and chest pumps towards his face, hissing while adjusting to his delectable, girthy length. Your cunt was well-acquainted with his cock, inviting him inside your hole every so often for a while now.
Even though your parts fit together perfectly, your thighs twitch and you have to take a breather. Being stuffed to the brim with his manhood takes a minute to settle into. Your walls tightly encompass his cock, getting him to throb at the awaited sensation.
In between schedules and even during hectic moments, you invaded his mind. You were his relief and breath of fresh air in the midst of his chaotic and bustling life.
Your nude body on top of his reminded him how real he is. That he gets to experience the rawness of molding together with you. Having this intoxicating moment behind closed doors, shielded from the public and cameras.
Right here and right now, only thing that mattered was fucking his special girl.
During this time, you had his attention fully and vice versa. All frustrations and tension from your personal lives and being apart was taken out in the form of erotic skin-on-skin contact.
Once his cock is gladly received and your walls ease up, you start playing with your favorite toy, rocking your hips slowly to get the friction you crave.
Your fingers rake down from his shoulders to his chest, holding onto the guy whose mere presence gets you short-winded.
“Missed me?” he mumbles, hands holding your hips and tracing the curves.
You leaned forward, tits hanging in perfect view for him while you rubbed against his pubic bone. In response to his question, you only moaned softly, overwhelmed with how stuffed you were and the way your clit sparked from the friction.
You also honestly were afraid to admit aloud that you did in fact, missed him. There was no doubt that he knew it was true, but saying it to his face was scary.
It’s silly, but this thing you’ve got going on with Juyeon was mainly physical. Even if you wanted more, you knew that request would be hard to fulfill considering his current career. It’s a miracle he even managed to make time for your hookups and keep this situationship under wraps.
He smirks at your sultry, sweet sounds. Your sounds aren’t a proper answer, but they still speak volumes to him.
“Yeah? Is that right?” he teases you for your needy mewls.
“I missed you and your sexy ass.” he uses one of his massive hands to smack against an ass cheek.
You gasp loudly and practically jolt, turned on by the sting and his confession. Your walls hug him enthusiastically, leaving him to groan and maneuver his hands to your back. He pushes you closer to him to begin kissing up your neck, letting his lips display how much your body did wonders to him.
Your neck angles automatically and his nice kisses turn more ravenous after each one. He’s keen on treasuring your body, pulling your skin slightly between his lips. He cups your skin with his mouth, nipping at it gently.
Your whimpers don’t stop, only encouraging him to keep going and drag his lips towards your chest. Those beautiful lip corners of his raise while he wraps his lips around a mound, suckling and tugging on your erect bud.
His wet, steamy mouth over your tit blows your breath away. The way he sucks and starts gladly licking your nipple inclines you to bring a hand to his hair, fisting his black strands and encouraging his behavior.
He takes a second to look up at you while he stops and moves on to your other breast. You see hunger and desperation through his orbs, communicating to you with his mouth and eyes how insanely crazy you drive him. It’s like it’s his destiny to fuck and worship your body nonstop.
Both of your parts throb against each other, turned on to the max. You whimper as he looks up at you while pulling on your nipple, your body twitching and subtly grinding over him.
Looking at him like this all for you ignites passion within. You’d allow him to do anything he wanted to you if it meant viewing that gaze, him itching with lust for you.
You’re basking in being pampered by Lee Juyeon. His blistering kisses, licks, and starved bites creates a roller coaster of emotions for you. You gleefully surrender yourself to him, and he enjoys the way your body responds to him when he makes all these moves on you.
He doesn’t have to think twice about leaving hickeys behind, leaving traces of him so you’d have something to remind you of him in his absence. The reddish-purple splotches also served with intent of his claim over you.
Yes, under circumstances, he couldn’t publicly flaunt you and show you off. But when you’re left alone for days and sometimes even weeks, his scent and marks lingers over your home and body. It reminds you that he has you hooked and possessed.
What a shame you’re unable to mark him as you please for obvious reasons. It’s too risky. You have to be extra careful with your mouth and nails. It really does suck, but at least you get to have him to an extent at all, and he’s never shy with the physical affection he brings you when you get together, being more than generous.
“Ride me, babydoll. Like the good girl that you are for me.” Juyeon breathes out, giving your tits a few more kisses.
You fucking adore more than you’d like to admit being called his good girl, so you do as told, raising your hands to hold onto your headboard, followed by raising your hips.
You lift yourself carefully, letting some of his length slide out of you before sucking it back in again. Gasps and groans release from both of you at the sensation.
Juyeon’s hands move to your rear, supporting you in your movements. You start repeatedly moving up and down with breasts, thighs, and butt cheeks jiggling and clapping over his body.
A delicious rhythm has begun with his support. His fingers press into your fleshy ass and his hands on your rear, not being able to resist grabbing your precious peach that fills up his hands. His weighty hands also serve as aid for your movements, working with your hips to glide your pussy walls over his cock.
Getting drilled by his cock and hopping like a bunny over it is mind-numbing pleasure for you. And for him, the sensation of his dick getting stroked repeatedly and penetrating you deeply thanks to this position is mouthwatering.
With you riding him, he has close access to every inch of you. He has a front row seat of your beautiful breasts bouncing and face that appears wrecked and out of it with every plunge.
His cock head hits spots that only he can reach and bless, leaving you two in a state of elated bliss.
He’s unable to keep his hands situated in one spot. They roam freely over your hips, tracing your silhouette and entranced by every inch of you. Parts of you that are usually covered are here for him to see, all for himself, admiring the body that you bear.
In every other bounce he smacks your ass, which in turn, riles you up and gets you even more turned on.
“Juyeon! Fuck!” you breathlessly moan, fingers curling hard into the headboard as you moved your hips in all directions. By this point, Juyeon is meeting your movements with upward thrusts into you and helps you bounce with the palm of his hands. Sweat pearls on his forehead and it glistens especially all down your spine from the desperate activity.
The sex only continues to stay intense, especially when Juyeon starts to practically growl. His thrusts become quicker and harder with him now doing most of the work. He’s relentlessly moving, indicating that he’s close to cumming.
Fucking you was such a high. Your gummy walls gripped his cock fittingly, like your pussy was made for him. He was hitting deep into you. Precum dripped down his tip and spread, creating a mess that mixed with your own arousal. Squelching filled the room alongside sounds of skin slapping, moans, and the bed creaking.
Your being provides a rush to Juyeon. He craved intimacy and a body to keep him warm. You were that body, a person who smiled genuinely when you saw him and asked and listened about how his life’s going.
The sex between you two was phenomenal, but your attitude and way you perceive him is the other part of why he keeps coming back to you.
There’s clearly trust and some sort of bond formed between you both. You kept this relationship, situationship— or whatever the hell this was on the low, protective of his idol life and respecting him.
He relies on you to bring him comfort in any way he needs it, and you give it to him willingly, happy to have him however and whenever you can because you may or may not have fallen in love with him. And maybe, just maybe, he has fallen in love with you, too.
It’s complicated really, to be involved with someone in his position. It’d be hard to have a regular relationship and to keep promises, his life being so on-the-go and unpredictable.
But he can’t stray away from you. It would be better if he let you be with someone else with consistency and he just have casual flings to satisfy his needs. But you two can’t let one another go. You make do with what works for now, and pray one another’s heart doesn’t get broken in the process.
When he’s around you, and especially when your bodies are connected like this, he’s reminded how much he has to keep you in his life. His escape from stress and the real world, the person who keeps him grounded and appreciates all sides of him, from all angles.
These emotional feelings towards you and physically getting his length actively stroked and gripped by your cunt swamps him in a warmth that starts at his lower belly and extends between his legs and cock base.
It’s all he can focus on, that red hot intense pulsing that’s begging to be erupted and relieved.
Juyeon’s tongue runs over his teeth, persistently driving his cock into you. Your mewls and cries from his efforts only charge him, leading his muscles to contract.
A blast of semen finally shoots up into you from his bloated head, followed by more throbs and squirts of cum until he’s emptied out. His head leans back from the electrifying bust, heavy-lidded, biting his lower lip with low grunts.
His hips stutter and movements are sloppy as his warm liquid fills you up. His swollen, hard cock pulsing and spewing inside of you has you swaying and squeezing his shaft.
It’s gratifying watching him cum, that you’re the sole reason why. He shudders and groans as he finishes and from you squeezing him due to being so aroused.
Your hands drop from the headboard to his flushed chest, smoothing sensually over it before hooking your arms around his neck and leaning forward.
You start reaching for your high, boning your hips into him, twirling over his dick that’s growing overstimulated and stimulating your puffy clit.
Desperate breaths and broken mewls leave your throat while Juyeon’s hissing from the sensitivity. Though, he encourages you to finish, talking you through it while groping and slapping your ass in between.
“Keep going, fuck.”
“I’ve got you baby, use me all you want.”
“Cum for me, babydoll.”
And then you break, mouth fallen open, releasing stuttered gasps as your pussy pushes against him. Your muscles are spasming and heart rate is reaching the clouds as you cream all over his cock.
The sensational pleasure that comes with climaxing puts you into a trance. He’s fucked you stupid, mind shutting down to anything that isn’t that tingly pressure releasing that makes you feel giddy and satisfied.
“That’s it, mhmm.” Feels good, huh?” A hand of Juyeon’s begins to rub at your back, his calming touch bringing you back down.
Goosebumps spread all over your skin and all you can do is pant, out of breath. You allow yourself to slowly fall on top of him, his cock now softening and still inside you. Your face digs itself into the crook of his neck, and he brings his other hand to the back of your messy hair, petting your head.
Your warm, sweaty bodies hug together, listening to one another’s irregular breaths and heartbeats make effort to go back to normal.
And for a little while, it seems like time stops. Juyeon’s presence and protective hold shields you like a blanket. He allows your mind to stay peaceful and dreamy, purely basking in him holding you in bed, naked bodies still molded together.
Once you’ve had enough time to come down from the clouds and regain clarity, Juyeon gently pulls himself out of you. The sensation makes you slightly shiver and hiss, and he tongues his cheek at the feeling.
It takes so much in him to not wanna shove his dick back in you when your pretty pussy starts leaking you guys’ mixed fluids. The sight makes him have to hold back a growl to not sound like such an animal.
Luckily, the long night ahead leaves room to spend time together however you liked.
You two forget about the outside world for awhile, too busy indulging in each other.
That consisted of showering together, plenty more sex, and sweet, long conversations that involved subjects like how he feels about the latest song he’s recently recorded for, and reminiscing his trips to Paris for fashion week— of which, has his lips curling subconsciously when he says things like “You would die for this one café I went to” and “Damn, I wish you could come with me next time.”
And you shared things about your life, too. Telling him stuff like your latest online purchase, and the tragic tale of dropping the pizza you tried to carefully take out of the oven the other day— that you still ate, of course!
It was all ordinary stories, small victories in your life recently, and silly jokes in between from you.
But Juyeon liked that. He listened attentively just like you did when hearing him speak.
Hearing you talk about what you had for breakfast or the long-awaited update on your silly family drama meant so much to him. You guys were catching up. Regardless of the contrast in activities and lifestyle, he cares to know about what’s going on with you, big or small. He’s just thankful that he gets to be with you.
You might feel insecure about how mundane your life seemed or worried that you’re boring him, but Juyeon is extremely fond of you. Whatever you said was important to him, because all that matters is that you’re conversing freely with him, together at last.
Before you know it, you two have passed out cuddled-up in your bed.
———————————————————————————
You don’t remember when you fell into slumber, or how long you’ve been out for.
It’s only been a few seconds since you’ve woken up, but what you do realize is there’s no body curled up and pressed against you anymore. The loss of Juyeon near you makes you moan tiredly, shifting loosely.
You worry he’s already gone until you adjust your eyes properly, seeing that his form is standing next to bed, torso bare and barely putting on his pants.
Your sounds and movements show that you’re now fully awake, so he turns to you, leaning over the bed to softly brush your hair.
“Hey, baby. Sorry if I woke you up.” he whispers, watching you rub the sleep out from your eyes, lips swollen, chapped, and pouted.
“What time is it?” your voice comes out low.
“Seven. I gotta get going.” despite his words, he fully sits down next to you, still half-dressed.
You adjust yourself to sit upright. Last night, he had told you that he had a jacket shoot early in the morning, followed by a movie premiere in the evening to attend the next day.
The part you dread greatly has come, where you bid goodbye. It was a set-routine at this point, but it never got easier.
It sounds dramatic, but your interactions with Juyeon were limited and not as frequent as you’d like it to be. His life is extremely demanding, and his personal life had to remain private to protect himself and the people he loves.
So, you had to grow accustomed to not hearing much from him for days, not seeing him as much as you’d like, and only being able to hangout within limited places like your house 90 percent of the time.
Having to navigate your relationship this way leaves a sour taste in Juyeon’s mouth and it worries him that he’s hurting your feelings, but you’re willing to make it work. You’ll always be here for him, supporting him and he’s aware of that. Which is why he feels shitty and blue every time he has to leave you.
You can never get yourself to tell him how much you’ll miss him or love him, so instead, you nuzzle your head against his chest, instantly wrapping your arms around him.
His own arms respond immediately, doing the same over your form. You give him a tight hug, and he just holds you in silence for a minute, wallowing in the comfort of each other.
“I’m still wearing your shirt. You need it back?” you speak up as you take note with your cheek pressing against his bare chest. After getting handsy and dirty with each other for a few rounds, he covered you with his shirt to sleep in, as he did most of the time.
Nah, keep it on. I’ll just grab a new one in the closet. You still have my other shirts here, right?”
You can’t resist in smiling at his words, knowing that yes, you did keep a handful of his clothing stored inside your closet.
What can you say, you liked wearing and stealing his clothes. And, Juyeon encourages it, too. He also likes leaving extra clothing behind here because even though he’s not able to be around as much as he’d like to and you don’t live together, this is still his home.
“Always.” you dotted a tiny kiss over his chest and he hums.
The small gesture and that singular word gives him the biggest urge to pull your lips towards his mouth to kiss you, and he does give into it.
He lets his lips do the talking of how his heart and mind feels, kissing you like there’s no tomorrow, profound feelings of attachment and attraction towards you behind the way his lips move with yours.
You cherish the kiss, just like you did any other with him, never seeming to get enough of him.
After unspoken feelings of love and yearn through kisses and glossy eyes, you two had to let go so Juyeon wouldn’t be late.
Reluctantly, you each let go, and he gets off your bed to walk towards your closet. You sat in bed, watching him while your figure and mind feels like it’s in defeat.
You bunched up the bottom of Juyeon’s shirt that you wear in your hands, clutching tightly onto something that belongs to him. Seeing him get ready to leave feels like a pin stabbing at your heart, deflating it until it collapses, left empty until his next return.
Juyeon is filled with guilt and feels like he’s abandoning you, but he hopes you know that there’s a permanent spot reserved for you in his mind. He’s always thinking of you, selfishly hoping you never forget about him, too.
Once he’s properly dressed, he steers back to you. You try to put on your best smile, trying to conceal the fact that you’re bummed that he always has to leave like this.
Juyeon knows you’re trying your best for him. As if to reassure you and make it known that he appreciates your efforts, he taps your chin with his thumb, getting you to look at him with those doll-like eyes of yours.
He tips down to press a kiss over that adorable bed-head of yours, savoring your scent. You melt under his touch one last time.
“I’ll see you soon, cutie. Okay?” he voices, giving you a small nod.
“Okay.” you whispered, eyes locking once more before he leaves your bedroom and finds his own way out.
You’re left alone on your bed that seems massive and lonely without him in it. You stare at nothing in particular, listening to him step out of your house, doors shutting and locking as he does so.
Now, all you can do is attempt to fall back sleep.
At least in your slumber, you can be closer to him inside your dreams.
Having already cum a few times, Juyeon had no choice but to take things slow. He wanted to stop, but when you wouldn't stop showing up in his dreams, what else could do?
pairing: lee juyeon x fem!reader
genre: fluff
warnings: none
hugs you from behind. he’ll walk up behind you in the mornings: pouty lips and eyes still cloudy with sleep. leaning on you, he wraps his arms around your waist and rests his head on your shoulder.
looks you in the eyes and glances back down to your lips before kissing you. absolutely loves kissing you, so it happens quite often. but it never fails to make your heart beat a little faster; hurriedly moving to close the gap between your lips.
tucks the strand of your hair behind your ear. sometimes when you’re talking he’s so focused on watching your facial expressions. he thinks the different faces you make when telling a story is endearing. he immediately notices the strand of hair that has fallen in your face and knows it bothers you by the way you scrunch your nose. takes it upon himself to lean in and gently tuck it behind your ear then moving back to his original spot with a soft smile on his face.
lifts his shirt to wipe the sweat from his face; giving you a flash of his long torso underneath. it’s something you’ve seen a countless amount of times before, but you can’t help staring every time. it’s amusing for juyeon who happens to catch you.
pulls you in by the belt loop of your jeans. whether he wants to kiss you or to simply have you closer to him. he’ll hook his finger through the loop and pull; his hands immediately resting on your hips and a teasing smile on his face.
when he’s serious. the way he can go from being an adorable dork to being hot in a split second. specifically when he’s dancing, your eyes never leaves his figure. the music starts and you watch the way his body reacts to the beat, making your cheeks heat up.
the way he groans softly when you play with his hair or massage his head. his groans are deep, low, and softly dragged out. he sounds so content — almost giddy. will take one of your hands away from his head and press a lingering kiss to the back of it, his eyes closed and mind at bliss.
Maybe it's all about you when your youth is filled with each other's names and your heart has never changed. That's what Juyeon finds out when he falls in love with his best friend.
pairing : bff!juyeon x gn!reader (+bf to ex!sunwoo)
genre : fluff, bestfriends to lovers, slow burn, slight angst but happy ending
warnings : swearing/cursing, sex jokes, implied sex, mention of burnout, alcohol consumption, heartbreak, pet names (sweetheart, good girl, pretty, baby)
notes : it's been a long road but i'm happy to introduce y'all to my baby! i've been (and still am) obsessed with juyeon since the zeneration 2 concert and i guess i've had a lot to write about him... i hope you'll find out the few references i've managed to sneak in! enjoy ✧.*
shout out to my dear @winterchimez for proofreading and helping me during the whole writing process, you were a great help <3
words count : 13745
No one ever told you how relationships work. So when you fell in love with your best friend Juyeon at 16, you felt a little helpless. Should he be the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? Was it wrong to lean on him when he welcomed you into his arms for a movie night? Eventually those feelings faded as you both started dating, and you wondered if it was even true love. Maybe the 16-year-old teenager you were was just attracted to the idea of being close to another soul, mentally and physically.
Maybe yes.
The only thing you know right now at 24, is that the feelings you had for Juyeon back then were nothing compared to the ones you have for Sunwoo today. The attention and love he gives you makes everyone jealous. Even Juyeon himself.
If he wanted to take you out to dinner, you would turn him down because you already had plans with Sunwoo. Arcade, karaoke, late night walks, picnics, fancy restaurants or fast food, you’re always together. Sometimes when you feel like staying in, Juyeon would show up, hoping to watch a movie like the good old days. But he’s met with Sunwoo at the door and doesn’t have the energy to see you being all lovey-dovey.
He knows better than to be a third wheel. As much as he understands the time you spend with your boyfriend, he can’t help but feel jealous and left out. You’re not trying to make him feel that way, you just needed Sunwoo’s presence.
The two of you met in your 3rd year of thesis. He was actually the student under your supervision for his end-of-studies internship. You obviously spent six months seeing each other and working together – in the lab, the library, cafes and even at home. You both grew closer in no time, and that’s only fair given the fact that Sunwoo is a living comedian. You don’t think you would have made it through the whole editing process without his support.
The funniest thing he had ever done was that he was proofreading your work while you did the same for his. Sure enough, you both graduated with the help from one another and a couple of kisses were shared.
From Juyeon’s point of view, those six months felt like an eternity. He had a girlfriend at the time and couldn’t really go out with you. You were both busy for different reasons, but still tried to see each other once a week. But when you did see each other, you always talked about Sunwoo and he talked about his girlfriend. That’s what your lives were made of, but it was a little heartbreaking that you were best friends who only talked about your partners.
“How’s the job hunt going?” He asked at one of your meetings.
“Great actually, I felt like giving up, but I didn’t endure those three years to throw it all away, did I? Sunwoo helped me a lot, he’s my lifesaver.”
Juyeon felt like throwing up, as if his heart had been stepped on the moment he heard those words, and he didn’t know why.
“What about you?” You asked him, cutting his train of thought.
Oh, he knew you were talking about his own job, which he quit a few months ago (more like he’s on a break because he’s burned out). But it’s not like he has to tell you; he doesn’t have the guts to anyway. He thinks you would be sad and angry with him, when all you really want is for him to be happy. And he’s also upset that he’s had to give up on his dream job because it was affecting his health. Thankfully, his boss has been kind enough to give him a chance to rest up for now. Maybe all he needs to keep going is your reassurance?
“We broke up.” He says quietly, looking down at his hands.
“I’m so sorry Juyo, aren’t you too sad?” You say as you reach out to him.
“To be honest, I am.” He admits, looking up at you, a small smile forms on his lips. “It was a mutual agreement, but I feel like I screwed it up. She said I needed to think about my own needs and wants.”
“And what do you want?”
“To spend time with you.” He says straightforwardly.
Your cheeks flushed at his sudden comment. Has he always been so honest?
“I’m free tomorrow if you’re fine with that? Sunwoo is going out with his band.” You say, eager to spend more time with him. “Oh, and Juyo; you should know that I will always make time for you. You’re a big part of my life and I care about you more than anyone else so please do not hesitate to reach out if you need anything. I’m just one call away.”
“I know that but I always seem to bother you.” He says, a little ashamed to think so.
“You don’t. What makes you think that?” You frown at his words, wondering if he actually meant them. “You have no idea how much I look forward to our weekly meetings! It keeps me going during the week, I swear, ask Sunwoo he only hears about you.”
“Oh,” he responded, feeling delighted with your words.
“Yes Juyo, I miss you a lot.” You gasped shyly, suddenly very focused on your hot cup.
“I miss you even more.” He looks for your eyes with a hint of fondness that you don’t notice, even when you raise your head to tell him,
“So tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow,” he smiles, pleased to see you smile back with the same touch of affection.
When you think about it, you don’t understand how it is possible to break up with Lee Juyeon. You didn’t really know the girl he was dating, you never met her, you only saw her face in a picture once. But you do know your best friend, and he’s not the type to break someone’s heart. He would fight for the person he loves, even if it doesn’t work out. Juyeon is love personified. So how can you reject him?
Woo ☼ (3)
Sweetheart I miss you
When are you coming back home
I have a present for you
What kind of present?
Me ;)
OMW
Juyo <3 (1)
Thanks for today, I can’t wait for tomorrow. Pick you up at 10?
Will be pretty and ready!
Always pretty but ready? I’m looking forward to it
As soon as you read his message, your heart began to thump real loud and your cheeks immediately flushed red. Who are you and what have you done to Juyeon? When did he become so flirty? Or maybe he has always been like this and you never cared before. But why do you even care now?
When you were 16, you remember vividly how he kissed your hand goodbye because he was a gentleman and you were a darling. Everyone at school made fun of you for being so old-fashioned, but little did they know that you liked it. Eventually, when you turned 17, he dropped the act and started kissing your forehead instead. It was a hundred per cent worse. Your cheeks turned pink every time you thought about it and people were calling you out for being highkey on PDA and asking you to spare the singles.
Maybe then he was always this flirty.
It didn’t matter much to you because it was puppy love. The first man you ever loved. Until Sunwoo came into the picture.
“How was your date sweetheart?” You laugh into the kiss he greets you with.
“Pretty good, I think I’m developing feelings, I don’t know, he’s just so sweet and- Ouch Sunwoo!” You yelped, surprised by his sudden, somewhat erotic gesture.
“What?” He giggles innocently.
“You didn’t have to pin me against the wall, did you?” You ask rhetorically, knowing full well what his answer will be.
“I did,” his sparkling eyes turn to onyx, his tongue runs over his lips and his gaze travels up and down your body as he answers.
“Yeah?” You whisper, aroused by his deep voice.
“Yes.”
His plump lips are all over yours in an instant, taking your breath away. To deepen the kiss and emphasise his need to be closer, he grabs your legs so you can wrap them around his waist and welcome him in. Your arms wrap around his neck as you yield, kissing him back with passion and love. He doesn’t let go until you’re both out of breath, and then he kisses you again and again like a madman. Eventually, you’re so lost in the pleasure of his kisses that when you feel him nipping at your neck, you push him away, panting.
“I understand that Juyeon is your best friend,” he says with a heavy voice. “But you can’t joke about dating another man.”
He doesn’t give you a chance to answer as he runs his tongue over your lips before kissing you lazily. You stick out your tongue, waiting for him to resume his kiss. He chuckles at your behaviour but kisses you nonetheless.
“Good girl hm, are you hungry?” He utters with lustful and honey dripping eyes.
“Let’s take this into the bedroom then.” At his promise to take you to heaven, you nod eagerly, excited to see what he has planned for you.
You don’t quite remember what happened after that, too lost in lust and love. You felt the kisses on your forehead and the caresses in your hair before he left the bed.
Suddenly, nothing. All you felt was emptiness.
You turn to check your phone when you yelp in pain because your back hurts. Your man was a beast last night.
Wait.
9:30am?
You hurriedly get out of bed, taking in your dishevelled appearance and the hickeys Sunwoo had the courtesy to leave on your body. You’re ashamed to go out like this, because you know that you have little to no time to cover them up.
More importantly, Juyeon will notice them. It’s not that you cared about exposing your sex life, you have a lot of fun with Sunwoo and he’s the greatest in and out of bed. But for Juyeon to see you in such a vulnerable way? It does something to you and you can’t figure out why.
You never talked about your sex life with Juyeon although you are best friends; you two are kind of secretive. Sure, there were times when you complained that your exes were terrible kissers or that dates were horrible. But when it comes to any form of intimacy, it was out of the books. You both never joked about kinks, never asked about turn-ons. Yet, you shared your very first kiss with Juyeon when you were 16.
It was a bit messy and hilarious because you had no idea what you were doing. You remember how when he dropped you off after school or after a playdate, he had this cute habit of kissing your hand goodbye. It was also at that age when you started going to parties – a party between friends, no alcohol, maybe just some cheap beer that tasted like grass. But that was fun and it was also the time when you were introduced to love, through couples and kisses.
Love has always been a foreign language to you. You know for a fact that love is what your parents share with each other, through physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, gifts but also through struggles.
But you also know that the person you’re closest to doing those things is Juyeon. You both were always cuddling, fighting over movies or places to eat. You both would also cheer, support and reassure each other.
You both would always have each other on your minds, sending texts, calling or buying sweet things. It’s only fair that you thought you were in love with him, isn’t it?
And that faithful night, at your birthday party, he thought it would be a great idea to carry you and run around in circles until he lost his balance and fell with you laying on top of him. You didn’t know what was going through his mind, but you saw flames in his starry eyes, and then he pecked at your lips. He brushed it off by pulling you up and wishing you a happy birthday but your heart was racing and so was his.
“Sorry Ju, I woke up late, I didn’t want to keep you waiting,” you pout as you reached his car, pressing a kiss on his cheek.
“Thank god your prettiness makes up for lost time,” he jokingly hugs you, his hands laying a little low on your waist. “But you have to take responsibility for making me wait.”
“Juyeon! It’s been 5 minutes you can’t blame me for the delay!” You wriggle into his embrace and put your head in the crook of his neck, a little embarrassed but wanting to be close to him.
“I can, and that’s exactly what I’m doing,” he whistles, taking you out of his arms to observe the love bites on your fair skin. “Maybe you’d be on time if you hadn’t had so much fun last night.”
“Y-Yeah, I walked into a trap,” you stammered, speechless.
“The kind of trap you can’t refuse, I bet.”
And he opens the passenger door before giving you his hand to help you get in. You look at his hand and then straight into his eyes to understand where that confidence comes from, but he just smiles and nods.
“Come on, we have much to do before the carriage turns into a pumpkin.” He smiles and fights with the wind to tuck a wild strand of hair behind your ear.
Spending time with Juyeon is one of the things you adore the most in the world. You were so used to spending your days with him when you were teenagers that you almost forgot what it was like. The princess treatment, the cafe dates, the shopping and giving opinions on outfits, the restaurants. Now that you’re all grown up, reliving those moments feels a little bit odd but great. After all, you’re the same people who dance to the music in every corner shop and laugh at every silly move you make.
Going out with Juyeon is also all about treats and gifts. You have this implicit rule that when you’re out and about, you’re encouraged to pay in turns – be it at the restaurants, bars or for desserts. And of course, he pleases you more often than you please him, but you tend to buy more things related to him – matching items or clothes that reflect his style.
“Look at this cute bracelet! We should get it to celebrate our 10 years offriendship,” you beamed, slipping the bracelet around his wrist without a word of protest to see how it looks.
“But it’s paired with a promise ring?” He comments, in case you haven’t noticed and had a change of heart.
“Then we can get the ring in another 10 years,” you giggle and squeeze his hand to reassure him that this is what you want.
Happy with your little joke, you went to the cashier to buy the bracelets. But it sparked something within Juyeon’s heart. He may be slow to understand, but you don’t have to tell him twice. You consider him to be your significant other. That’s what a promise ring means.
After all, you wanted to commit yourself to him for the rest of your life. You’re his best friend and that should be normal. It is normal to stick by each other’s side. But why is his heart missing a beat?
If you ask Juyeon about his relationship with you, he would describe it as “enchanting”. You’re the most important thing to him. Ever since he bumped into you in 3rd grade, you two have been inseparable. But there’s something that’s always bothered him.
In the beginning, he thought it was because you were the only one that he was really close to. He didn’t look at you any differently. But every time you smiled, he felt a twist in his stomach. Then he made it his goal to make you blush and to kiss your hand. It was thrilling to see you all flustered by his own actions.
He grew up and unfortunately that feeling never went away. In the end, he thought that maybe it was just the hormones. A 16-year-old boy needs to get to know his body and its needs. That’s what he did. Eventually the feelings vanished, but the uncomfortable feeling stayed. Even when he was with his ex.
He’s well aware that you are in a relationship with Sunwoo and that the two of you are in love. He’s never been happier for you. After all the people who have taken advantage of you, you deserve someone positive. Someone who will be there for you and will make you feel loved and truly fall in love. Like Sunwoo.
And yet, he doesn’t know why he’s so attracted to you. He needs to explore his feelings. At least to understand them. Even if it costs him.
“How about a drink?” He asks as the sun is about to go down.
“No, you need to drive safely.” You flinched, clearly against the idea of losing him in such a stupid way.
“What about my place? You know I have this amazing balcony overlooking the sea.” He offers in return with a smirk.
“Deal,” you say with gleaming eyes.
You love Juyeon’s apartment; it has a soft and romantic atmosphere and it’s even more beautiful when the sun goes down. The many plants he has turn a warm orange with the colours of the sky and you swear, it’s so beautiful, like a haven of peace.
“Red or white?” He asks, holding the two bottles out for you.
“Anything’s fine, choose for me please Juyo,” you sing-song, happy to share this moment with him.
While you are setting up his balcony table with candles and wine glasses, he returns with a red bottle and appetisers. He gestures for you to sit on the bean bag and pour the wine like a real chef. You whistle, impressed by his newfound skill. Furthermore, it wouldn’t be Juyeon if he didn’t do a little dance to make you laugh before handing you your glass.
Now that he’s seated, you allow yourself to take in your surroundings. It’s quiet, but you can hear the faint music coming from the living room speakers. Juyeon has never liked the silence, so he always needs to have some kind of background music to feel comfortable. He says it calms him down, especially when he’s nervous, and you have to agree with that.
But does that mean that he was nervous right now?
He never needed music with you, as he always said your voice was his own melody – the harmony he couldn’t get enough of.
“Thank you,” he whispers, pulling you out of your reverie.
You nod, knowing exactly what he means, and reach out to take his hand. He intertwines your fingers and, in the pink-orange hues of the sky you catch yourself blushing. You risk a glance to see him starring absent-mindedly into space and you seize the opportunity to stare him down.
His bangs, usually on his forehead are pushed back, giving him a more mature and sexy look. His eyes, in a beautiful crescent shape, shine with the intensity of the stars. His pretty nose sits up on his face, like a trophy ready to be claimed. And his lips. They’re curled into a gentle smile.
Without a care in the world, he runs his tongue over them and opens them as if he wanted to speak. But no sound comes out, except for the tongue he’s now biting. Suddenly, as if he was aware that you are looking at him, he turns to meet your gaze. Truth be told, you weren’t very discreet. His dark eyes hold yours, then move to your lips, and you see the faint beginnings of a smirk on his lips before he bursts into laughter.
“Like what you see?” He points out, all smug.
That fucker.
You slapped him playfully before you realised you were biting your lips. Yet, he still looks at you as if you were the one who hung the stars in the sky and shone in their place.
All of a sudden, his eyes turn mischievous and you find yourself in his arms as he leads you into the living room. He turns up the music, grabs the camera, puts on a pair of framed glasses and starts dancing. You joined him, because there is no world in which you wouldn’t follow Juyeon. You dance like you’re in a club, grab the wine bottle and shout the lyrics at the top of your lungs. Juyeon films you through the mirror and you play along, you’re the model, he’s the artist. Until he puts the camera in a corner to film the both of you and starts to dance an old choreo that you both did. You smile broadly and the night goes by like this. In between drinking and dancing.
At some point, you find yourselves taking a stroll, jumping and dancing around poles. Oh, but you’re not drunk! Juyeon took out his camera and kept filming you, laughing. The man was hyping you up, the street was your runway! And even though it was a little embarrassing, you had a lot of fun. Trust Juyeon to make you feel the best!
Around midnight, you were eating ice cream in the nearest park when your phone screen lit up with a call.
Woo ☼.
Oh, no. You forgot to inform him you were going out with yesterday’s activities.
“Babyyyyy,” he whines, sounding tired, “where you aaaat.”
“At Juyeon’s, we-“ You’re cut off as Juyeon steals your phone, brushing against your hands a little too long.
“Sorry,” he hiccups, “is it all right if we keep each other company for the night? I can’t drive right now.” Juyeon tries to apologise but is cut short by Sunwoo.
“Had a fun night I see?”
You can feel his anger rising from the way his voice drops an octave. Sunwoo has always been jealous of Juyeon. When you got together, he was very insecure at first, knowing that you had a male best friend and seeing you spend so much time with him. It took some time, but the trust you’ve built up has overcome that awful feeling.
You still have to reassure him sometimes, and that’s okay because Juyeon is your best friend and Sunwoo is your boyfriend. You love them both in different ways. You talked about it with Juyeon and later he got jealous because you spent all your time with Sunwoo on your trip to comfort him. It wasn’t easy, but they learnt to trust you. Along the way, you may have convinced yourself that everything would be fine.
“Sunny, baby, I’m sorry I didn’t inform you. I will sleep at Juyeon’s and be back first thing in the morning before you wake up,” you say in a soft voice, trying to soothe him.
“I’m sorry too,” he voices out, letting out a breath lost in his own emotions, “I panicked when I didn’t see you at home. But I’m glad you’re all right.”
“I know,” you sighed, glancing at Juyeon, “I’m in good hands, I promise.”
“Hurry back, I miss my goodnight kiss already.” He replies, seemingly content with the current arrangement.
“Will be there in no time,” you giggled.
“I love you,” he answers, a smile blooming in his voice.
“I love you too.”
He hangs up just as he called, smiley, which makes you beam in return. However, when you turn to face Juyeon he’s anything but smiling. In his frowning eyes you decipher a sombre mood. Something in complete contrast to the joy you shared tonight. You reach out to grab his hand, but he pulls it back before you can do so.
“We should head back, it’s getting late.” He says firmly.
Your heart breaks at his words. Without giving him a chance, you cupped his face, forcing him to look at you. The hurt look in his eyes makes your heart swell. You scan him to see if he wants to answer, but he avoids you. You’re so close and yet so far away. You feel like throwing up, because your best friend never acted like this around you. He never once avoided you nor stopped talking to you. Thus, you did the only thing you can think of.
You hugged him, as tightly as you can.
You feel his heart pounding and wonder if it’s from the unknown emotions he’s carrying or from your physical touch. You put your hand on his broad chest to feel his heartbeat and plant a kiss on it to reassure him. It stirs something in Juyeon and he hugs you back so tightly you think you’ll lose your breath. He holds you in his arms for what seems like an eternity, your head nestled in the crook of his neck. But you don’t complain, you felt safe.
You stay there, in the warm embrace that contrasts with the cool of the night, squeezing him a little tighter when you hear passers-by whistling lovingly at you. When he lets go, you can see the faint pink colour that tints his cheeks, brought out by the street lights. But little did you know that you have the same colours on your face, if not stronger?
“You okay?” You ask as you rub small circles on his back.
“Yes I am,” he lies openly in a husky voice, “I’m okay.”
Juyeon is fucked. Completely screwed. He’s absolutely, unquestionably and sincerely in love with you.
He has been for quite some time, now that he thinks about it. But he never admitted it. That damned twist in his gut that never left his mind, he knows where it comes from now.
In order to cope with his newfound feelings he lets you use the bathroom first while he changes the sheets and tidies up the living room. He’s floating, not sure if he will ever get a wink of sleep. Especially if you both sleep in the same bed. Because to you, he’s just your best friend, the one you’ve slept with countless times. No strings attached.
He can’t imagine you in his arms, nor can he look forward to waking up by your side. You’re not his.
“Juyo?” Your tired voice echoes from the corridor. “C-Can I get some clothes?”
Oh. That doesn’t mean anything. You have always shared clothes. Then why was he so excited to see you in them? Right, because he’s madly in love with you and knows you will look ravishing in his big shirt. Also because sharing clothes is such an intimate thing couples do. If he lends you his current pyjamas because they have his scent on them, you couldn’t blame him. He’s just a man.
“Are you coming?” You inquire, walking towards him.
It’s worse than anything he’d ever imagined. The shirt is definitely too big for you going down one shoulder, showing the beginning of your chest and reaching halfway up your thighs. What’s more, your pretty thighs are covered by the shorts that rises up when you sit next to him. He looks away, embarrassed to be staring at you.
“I will sleep on the couch, don’t worry about me.”
“No way,” you retorted with little energy left, “your bed is big enough for both of us.”
He’s been acting strange today. First he was feeling all overconfident, then flirtatious, followed by anger, and now shyness and embarrassment. You take a piece of the blanket lying on his lap and you stretch your legs out on the sofa, letting your head fall on his shoulder. Sleep can wait, Juyeon can’t.
“Are you sure you’re okay? Don’t lie to me.” You ask, breathing softly into his ear.
“No,” he shudders, with a faraway look in his eyes, “I’m not okay and I don’t know how to get through this.”
“What’s wrong Juyo? Do you want to talk about it?” You pause to gauge his reaction. “Is it about your ex?”
“More or less,” he breathes out. “The breakup wasn’t that bad, like I said, it was a mutual decision. It’s just- when you started dating Sunwoo I was so happy for you, happy that you found someone who was worthy of your love and loved you the right way. And I thought I would be happy if I found that special someone, I longed for it. But I ended up in different relationships throughout the year, never lasting more than two months. And that’s ok, maybe they weren’t the right person for me, maybe it wasn’t the right time, maybe this, maybe that. I really thought I was going to be happy and I ended up getting my heart broken every time. As much as I believe now that I don’t deserve to be loved. I think I went into my last relationship in that state of mind, and I think she felt it too. Hard not to, is it? We had long talks and great times together; I think I really liked her. And I know she liked me back, I’m just not ready to be in an exclusive relationship right now.”
And everything he said is true, he’s more than happy for you and he thought he would be happy. But he can’t be happy in a relationship that isn’t with you.
“There’s also something I’ve never told you,” he continues, sniggering at the absurdity of his reasoning. “Something I should have told you a long time ago, it doesn’t make me proud, and it sort of reflects why my love life was so messed up. I can’t say it’s the only reason, but it played a big part in my mental health.”
You want to cry so badly, he has endured it all alone and it must have weighed heavily on him. At this point, you’re just waiting to speak and respond but every word that comes out of his beautiful mouth leaves you speechless. You’re such a bad friend that you’ve never noticed the way his eyes get dark and gloomy, or how he cancels your plans at the last minute because he’s got something else planned. When in fact it was sadness overload. Sure everyone has their own coping mechanisms, you wish you could have been there for him, but here you were Juyeon letting you in and you’re here to stay.
“It’s been two months since I was diagnosed with burnout and stopped working. It started off as something mild when I came home more exhausted than usual. I thought I wasn’t getting enough sleep but then I started to feel mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. It was hard to concentrate on my daily tasks and you know how much I love my job? I felt like I was going to die because I couldn’t even have fun doing what I love. Going out with you, my friends or my ex felt great, but I wasn’t as invested as I used to be.” He pauses to catch his breath and swallow back the tears.
“Don’t get me wrong, today was absolutely perfect and I was hyped, I still am. Today felt like going back to when we were sixteen and I loved it. I’m actually starting to feel better. The break up helped a lot because it was taking a toll on my mental health. I know I said I liked her and I did, but I couldn’t help but feel unwanted. Even when she was riding me,” he chuckles, trying to lighten the mood.
“And it hurts that I didn’t have the guts to talk to you about it because I was afraid of how you would react. Like, hello, I’m taking a break from work because I feel like shit? And I would really like to get your approval so that I can move on. Because you mean everything to me,” he ends shyly.
“Juyeon,” you say in a soft and caring voice, “you mean the world to me too.”
You continued. “You mean the whole world to me and I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me the most. I could come up with something, but it wouldn’t make up for what you’ve been through. You are strong, stronger than anyone. It’s so hard to keep your head above water that I’m proud of you for speaking up and even stopping work. Because focusing on your health is the most important thing. Situation and money may go but I will always stay. I’m so proud of you, proud of who you are and who you’re becoming. You’ll never stop growing and I’ll be there every step of the way, watching you blossom and be happy.”
“And I know you feel like you’ll never be happy,” you resumed, holding his hand. “The only thing I can say is, as hard as it seems, everything you live makes you stronger. Even more beautiful. There’s someone in this world waiting patiently for you, to love you properly, to make you feel loved and wanted. You’re an exceptional person, Juyeon. By that I mean you go above and beyond the call of duty, you give your total support and care, you show up when something’s wrong and I bet you’re an even more protective lover. We did everything together, cried, laughed, smiled, loved. My youth was filled with you and I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t happy because you were and are always by my side.”
“Today was the best time I’ve had in weeks, and that’s because I am with you. We danced, a lot. And you know how dancing has always been our escape,” you paused as you saw the first hint of a smile creep across his face as you continued. “I saw your smile, it was genuine and you were so beautiful. It may have been hard, you’ve been hard on yourself, but today the man I saw was happy. I’m happy because you’re happy, and I’m sad when you’re sad. We are one Juyeon, and I want you to know that I’m here for you, always.”
Long before you have finished speaking, he has taken you in his arms. His embrace is not heavy, but you can feel the weight on his shoulders lighten. You have so many feelings for him, they all blend together and you don’t seem to feel the butterflies in your stomach or the fire he has lit in your heart.
“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he confesses.
“And what would I be without you?”
Your head rests on his chest and he’s suddenly afraid you can hear his heart beating. You’re so beautiful, your tired eyes fighting sleep and your lashes fluttering. His shirt slipped off your shoulder as he held you in his arms and the permanent smile on your face makes him completely weak. He could kiss you right now. If only you were single.
“Let’s go to sleep, hm?” He caresses your face, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.
“Together?” You cracked yet another smile.
“Together,” he grins from ear to ear.
Your arms find their way around his neck and you bend your head to make an implicit request. His hands go around your waist and below your knees before he stands up and carries you bridal style. You both laugh at the absurdity of the situation, but also blushed at the romantic gesture. He sets you down on (what his brain calls) your side of the bed and plants a kiss on your forehead.
He then goes through his nightly routine before coming back to you, wrapped in the covers, fast asleep. His heart is about to explode. Now that he is aware of his feelings, he is overwhelmed by the love he has been repressing. He slides in next to you and holds back from embracing you. And if you happen to get close and make your way into his arms, he’ll be delighted to hold you tight.
“Sleep well Starlight, I love you,” he mumbles, kissing your hair.
“I love you more Juyo.”
Waking up the next morning wasn’t as awkward as Juyeon might have thought after the pseudo-confession you heard. He woke up first when he felt you shift in his arms. Because yes, you ended up in his arms, face against his torso. He tried not to make a big deal out of it, calming his breathing and enjoying the warmth of your body. Absentmindedly, his hand caresses your tangled hair, smoothing it and slowly waking you from your slumber.
“Good morning Starlight,” he says, honey dripping from his hoarse voice. “Slept well?”
“Like a baby, you?” You yawned, looking up from his chest.
“Even better than a baby.” He doesn’t want to let you go, once you’re out of his bedroom he’ll have to go back to his little miserable life without your starlight to light it up.
“Shall we take you home? Your boyfriend might get impatient,” he laughs, remembering the events of the previous night.
“Well, he’ll have to wait until I’m full from breakfast! I know someone who makes pancakes to die for,” you winked as you get out of his clothes and disappear into the bathroom.
You know you said you’d be back before he wakes up, and you want to. You miss him. But being in Juyeon’s arms, feeling the regular beat of his heart, makes you feel at home. You don’t want to end what you both have now.
You eat breakfast in relatively silence, except when Juyeon tries to flip the pancakes in the frying pan only to have one stick to the wall. And you watch him adoringly from where you sit, trying to make up for his silliness.
In the end, you leave his apartment in no time at all, dreading your return to your own home. Even though you know that Sunwoo is patiently waiting for you. The last two days you spent with Juyeon were out of time, it was an enchanted interlude and the return to real life suddenly seems very difficult.
He drops you off in front of the building, not without kissing you on the cheek and saying goodbye for the last time. You try not to think of it as a date night as you head for the front door but he’s quick to say “We’re not done yet, you’ll see me more often now” he chimed as he watches you smile and gets in.
The smile doesn’t leave your face until you turn the key in the lock and come face to face with Sunwoo, smiling from head to toe. He takes you in his arms and spins you around before planting kisses all over your face.
“Sunny,” you giggled, “please.”
“But I missed you,” you press a kiss to his lips as he answers, and you feel him smile through it.
“I’m sorry I overreacted, you know I get scared easily, but I shouldn’t take it out on you when you haven’t done anything,” he apologised, bowing his head.
“No, it’s my fault too,” you shake your head. “We had a crazy night and when I woke up you were gone. I was also late and didn’t want to keep him waiting.”
“You know that I’m jealous of Juyeon, right? He might be your best friend, but he might see you as more than that. You can’t say you didn’t want him to wait, because what, you’re willing to make me wait like yesterday but not him? It’s unfair, because you always end up prioritising him.” He bellows, frustrated.
“Sunwoo please,” you begged. “Sunwoo, listen to me, please.” He takes a step back, feeling his anger rising.
“To say what? That you needed to be with him? That he needs you? Bullshit, look me in the eye and tell me he doesn’t have feelings for you!” He shouts in a pissed off rage.
He goes back into the living room and you follow him to see him pacing back and forth. You can tell he’s furious. He always gets angry when you mention Juyeon and it pisses you off. You can’t even spend a day with your best friend because he gets jealous? You’ve been together long enough to think he’s finally understood that he’s the one you love. But as displeased as you are, you’ll never stop telling him and reminding him that you love him. Because couples fight, because he’s insecure and because you care.
“You might as well develop feelings for him!” He spits vociferously.
“He broke up with his girlfriend and lost his job,” you drop, tired of this pointless battle. “So yes, he needed me. And yes, I needed to be with him. I feel like an absolutely shitty friend because I’ve been sitting in his company for weeks and I didn’t even notice that his heart was being broken to pieces. You can shout at me as much as you want Sunwoo, but you’re the one I love. Juyeon may need me again in the future and I’ll be there for him, but at the end of the day I love you and only you.”
“You’re lying. T-There’s no way he…“ He tries to take your hand but you step back, annoyed.
“Have I ever lie to you, Sunwoo?”
The sheepish and upset look on his face is enough to tell you that he’s blaming himself. So you lead him over to the sofa and tell him everything, from the break-up to his exhaustion, which means burnout, but leave out the private details. It’s a lot to take in, and you wonder if he’ll ever believe you. Why would you lie about something so important?
You love Sunwoo, you really do. But you can’t help but be a little irritated by his behaviour. You feel terrible for even thinking and feeling this way, but Juyeon is your best friend! What was wrong with that? What doesn’t he understand about the word “best friend”? You sighed as you take him in your arms and stroke his back, both to calm him down and to ease your own mind. You hold each other for a while, for as long as your hearts desire, but your minds wander to Juyeon. You miss him and you wonder what he’s up to, when you’ll see each other again. Another sigh escapes your lips and Sunwoo looks at you questioningly.
“Movie?” You ask, trying to divert your attention from Juyeon.
“It’s 11,” he chuckles, finally at peace.
“Yeah, so? We can order pizzas and spend the day at home?” You kiss his hand with doe eyes.
“Sounds like a fabulous idea,” he quickly grabs his phone to place an order, “same as usual?”
“I’m feeling adventurous today, so pick whatever you like!”
You hear your own phone buzzing as he focuses on the app again. And obviously it’s the boy of all the arguments, the one who’s been on your mind since you got home and who seems to be distracting you a lot.
Juyo <3 (1)
I miss ya, whatcha doing?
Thinking about u
That ain’t possible
Whyyyy
Because I’m thinking about you
“Who are you talking to with that smiley face?” Sunwoo asks, tilting his head.
“Changmin, he’s talking about the person he met and he seems so in love.”
It's a half-hearted lie, because Changmin told you about the person he recently met, but also because if you say Juyeon's name right now, civil war will break out.
Juyo <3
Oh yeah, prove it?
Seconds later, your phone rings with an incoming call from Juyeon.
Juyo <3
JUYEON YOU CAN’T DO THIS
YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME
Aw pretty’s scared by a sudden phone call?
Actually…
You take a second to answer, pondering if it’s a good idea to tell him about your couple’s conflict. Especially when he’s the one causing it.
Juyo <3 (1)
Am I disturbing you?
You always turn my world upside down
Same goes for you Starlight ;)
So?
I had a fight with Sunwoo
Nothing bad, we already made up
But it’s becoming a recurring thing, and I hate it
Have you talked about it?
That it’s getting hard for you?
Yes and no
We always talk about it, set limits and make up but weeks later it’s as if the conversation never happened
As much as I love him I’m tired Ju
No, you don’t have the right to say you’re tired, because that would mean you’re ready to give up on your relationship for a few fights?
I’m afraid that’s not a valid reason
And I know you’re not the type to give up on someone you love
So take matters into your own hands, spend the day with him and make out ffs
Yeah, haha, you’re right
We’ll eat pizzas and watch a film, that’ll definitely help
And I’ll see if he’s nice enough to make out with him
I can be good for you instead ;)
Yah! You’re losing points Lee Juyeon!
I’m only aiming for the 10s sorry!
Right in the bull’s eye
Which is my heart yes
GTG JUYO
TTYL I LOVE YOU
<3
And I love you more <3
You saw his message through the notification, which you cowardly rejected, but that didn’t stop you from smiling. The conversation had to end quickly, as you were venturing into uncharted territory that doesn't leave you impassive. Besides, Sunwoo was getting suspicious of your big smile.
And he’s right, because what the hell was that? You’re such a coward whose heart beats a hundred miles an hour. He’s definitely winning points, but you’ll never admit it, and to what end? Your heart doesn’t know yet.
On the contrary, Juyeon’s heart beats wildly at your bravery. He doesn’t want to flirt despite his growing feelings, but you leave the door open too wide for him not to come in.
You’re still his best friend, so if you ever need advice or a listening ear, he’ll be there. Like that horrible joke about making out, he hated it. But he knew that it would make you laugh and feel better, because he knows you better than anyone else.
So why can’t he read your feelings? You're not usually so cryptic for no reason, he's sure of that. Yet the changes in your heart can be seen gradually: your sweet words, as well as the ambiguous ones, all carry a special and deep meaning. You’re a book Juyeon is dying to read, but you’re not descriptive enough for him to decipher just yet.
Sunwoo used to read you easily, but he’s not sure of anything anymore. He knows that you love him, that your love language consists of words of affirmation and that you never stop reminding him of it. And yet his insecurities always get the best of him and you end up fighting. The truth is, he’s afraid. You’ve always spent a lot of time with Juyeon and that’s fair, you’ve known each other for almost ten years. But shouldn’t you make up for that time with your one-year boyfriend?
He knows he can’t restrict you or your outings, that would be a dick move and he’s not a dick. You have lots of boy friends and he’s okay with that, but Juyeon? Juyeon annoys him. He seems too perfect to be true: his looks, his gentle and romantic nature. He’s in a one-sided competition because Juyeon couldn’t care less. Or so he thought until now.
Halfway through the film, you're cuddled up in his arms, laughing, when his phone vibrates. Why on earth is Juyeon texting him?
Juyeon (1)
I just wanted to apologise for yesterday. This is not a valid reason, but I wanted to keep my best friend to myself for a while. I’m sorry if that hurt you.
Apology accepted. We’re adults and you’re defo not the one to blame but I appreciate it.
Thanks man
It cost Juyeon a lot to send that message. But in his place, he would have been furious if the situation had happened to him. So he toned it down, to ease the tension and make you feel better. But he’d do it again any time; anything to spend time with you.
And that’s exactly what happened in the weeks that followed.
You spent the whole week with Sunwoo after your meeting with Juyeon, going with him to his band rehearsals, shopping for clothes, accessories or window shopping, going on dates to the cinema, the park and restaurants. You did everything with him.
But that didn’t stop you from texting Juyeon every day. Sometimes he was the one who initiated the conversation, and other times you had to spam him to ask his opinion on the latest clothes you bought or because you missed him. Your weekly outings have also become two or three times a week, and you often meet up on his balcony for a night of dancing and drinks.
Everything is done with respect for your relationship, but you feel his hands on you longer than necessary, always within limits and sometimes in places that make you blush. For an example, he would place them on your hips, and you would be a fool to say that his little touches did not make your heart flutter. When he opens the door for you, when he orders for you without asking and never makes a mistake, or even when he gives you presents that you’ve looked at with envy. He’s so observant and attentive that causes butterflies in your stomach. The more time you spend with him, the more you can’t deny the attraction you feel.
He makes you feel like you are 16 again.
He kisses your forehead, cheek or hand when he drops you off. He holds your hand so you don’t get lost in the crowd. Even if it’s just an excuse, you let him because deep down you want him to.
And you hated yourself for it. You feel so guilty about Sunwoo. Yes, Juyeon may be a little more enterprising than usual, but he hasn’t changed his ways. You’re the one who reacts to harmless words and lazy touches. But your heart hasn’t changed. You love Sunwoo. Those feelings for Juyeon aren’t real. It is an attraction that arises because you spend all your time together, because he’s handsome and cares for you.
You’re not… in love with him.
Isn’t that right?
“Sweetheart, I bought fried chicken on the way home!” Sunwoo says one day after his rehearsal.
“Oh Sunny, you don’t know how much I’ve been craving it,” you clap, looking forward to devouring it. “Thank you.”
“Can I get a hug for being the most awesome boyfriend ever?” He asks sweetly.
“Oh you do,” you giggle, jumping into his arms.
“I love you,” he kisses your nose.
“Me too,” you reply, tiptoeing to kiss his forehead.
“Sunnyyyy,” you call out his name on a Friday afternoon. “Can I go out for the night with Kev, Minnie, Chani and Ju?”
“Sure! Don’t come back too late hm? And be careful.”
“Yes! I’ve got the four horsemen of the apocalypse to look after me and myself!” You laughed.
“Have fun Sweetheart, I love you,” he whispers, kissing your forehead.
“Me toooo Sunny,” you smiled.
And yet, as he does his best to be there for you, to shower you with love and care, you notice that your interactions are gradually diminishing. He’s not the problem but you are. Just like yesterday, you’ve been exchanging messages and at the end of all your conversations you have this cute habit of saying I love you. Except this time, you haven’t replied. You liked his message and replied with a heart.
But that’s not the only case, because you catch yourself not saying “I love you” back when you talk to him. Yet you’re still physically and intimately close. It’s as if you’re giving yourself to him in order to compensate for the emotional changes that you’re going through. And then what? You won’t even be able to kiss him? Hold his hand? Be intimate? You felt terrible, and this has been going on for months.
Perhaps the best (or worst) thing to do is to talk to him about it.
“Sunny? Can we talk?” You say out of the blue one morning.
“Yes baby, tell me?” He replies as he comes out of the bathroom, shirtless.
“Get dressed first,” you giggle.
“Why, don’t you like what you see?” He pouts, crossing his arms to emphasise his torso and you look away, ashamed to be turned on when you’re about to break his heart.
“Oh I do, but you’re distracting me from the point!”
“Sorry, sorry,” he laughs as he pulls on a t-shirt, “is it better now?”
“Yes, thank you,” you sigh.
“Are you okay?” He asks suddenly, sensing your discomfort. “You know you can tell me anything, I’m here for you.”
“Sunwoo, I-“ you take his hand in yours for support. “You need to know that I love you, it has never changed and it will never change, the feelings I have for you are very much real and I cherish them as much as I cherish you.”
“You’re not breaking up, are you? Because I won’t let you.” His eyes are shining now and you want to go back in time. You want to erase everything that has happened in the last two and a half months, the growing romantic feelings and the hurt.
“Sunwoo, I’m not breaking up with you, you’re the person I care about the most in the world, I would never let you down. And I hate myself for what I’m about to say.” You take a deep breath and as you do you know he’s figured it out and tears start to roll down his sweet face.
“I- fell in love with Juyeon,” you drop your head in shame.
You don't have the courage to look up and see the disappointment on his face, but you force yourself to. And when you finally did, his reaction catches you by surprise. It was obviously pain and sorrow, but also resilience?
“May I ask, how?” His voice is low, almost a murmur, but his eyes search yours for the truth.
“I- don’t know, it just happened.”
“Come on, you don’t just fall in love with another man by accident,” he laughs sarcastically.
“And yet I did!” You raise your voice in annoyance. “I didn’t choose it Sunwoo. And I would go back in time if I could!”
He takes a minute to consider your words, to decide whether or not you’re telling the truth. You didn’t expect this conversation to be easy, but he doesn’t make it any easier for you. You expected him to be in denial, to yell at you and cry. Instead he went straight towards the acceptance stage and he had this heartless look on his face. You knew you deserved it because he’s right; you don’t fall in love with another man by chance.
“Does he know? That you-“ he struggles to find the words, but you let him, because it has been hard for you too. You’re in love with your best friend, and you’ve probably been in love with him since you were 16. “That you love him?”
“No, oh god no!” You panic, finally thinking of the consequences, “I wanted to tell you first because I love you and I owe you the truth.”
“But you intend to tell him?” He worries and suddenly you feel like you’re talking to your best friend, the same conversation you had before you started dating Sunwoo.
“No Sunwoo, it was never a question of telling him or not. Yes, I love Juyeon romantically, but you’re my boyfriend. And I’m not trying to fool myself by saying that I still love you, I love you. And I love Juyeon too, but I’m not going to do anything with it.”
“You’re silly,” he chuckles affectionately. “Within the two months since our fight, I’ve watched you for a long time baby. I observed your body movements, your facial expressions and your words, hoping that it was all temporary and that we’d come out of it stronger together. But all I saw was love, but towards someone else. You came home giddy, eyes full of stars. Sometimes even in a frenzy of exaltation from which I found it hard to pull you out, because knowing that you were happy made me happy. So I won’t say that I knew it, but I sensed it. And I know that you love me, I have never doubted it and I don’t doubt it now. But you love him silly. Perhaps even more than you love me. I’m not mad at you, I saw you falling for him, I just ignored the signs. And I know you didn’t choose it, nor did you want to break my heart. Your love for him is stronger and I can hear it. Thank you for telling me, it must have cost you a lot.”
You start to cry, because what else can you do but cry? You love him and it hurts you to hear him say that you love someone stronger. But he’s right. No matter how much you try to deny it, you love Juyeon unconditionally.
“Why,” you cry out.
“Why what baby,” he takes you in his arms, guiding your head in the crook of his neck and your tears start to soak his t-shirt.
“I’m pretty sure I broke your heart and stomped on it, so why aren’t you mad at me? Why are you taking it so well? I don’t understand. I feel like shit and you’re too perfect?”
“You have no idea of the pain, anger and emptiness I feel right now, I’m far from perfect,” his voice falters as he tries to hold back his tears, “but I can’t take it out on you, even though you deserve it, because you didn’t want it? Also because I didn’t speak when I realised you were drifting away. I know you blame yourself, and yes, I am heartbroken, I can’t wait to cry but I don’t want to make you sadder than you already are.”
“I don’t deserve you Sunny, I’m sorry, I love you to the moon and back,” you smile shyly.
“And I love you just as much, thank you for the love that doesn’t make me feel lonely,” he smiles back as he rubs your back in slow motions. “Can I kiss you? One last time?”
“Thought you’d never ask.”
When his lips touch yours, it has never felt better. The kiss is a little salty because you have both been crying, but also sweet. It is your last kiss and you devour each other’s lips as if it were the first, not wanting to part. You quickly run out of air, but he presses his lips to yours to convey his feelings one last time and you smile, knowingly, as you kiss him back.
“You should go to him,” he says, lips swollen and eyes puffy.
“Yes, to be with my best friend. And you should call Eric for the same reason,” you sobbed, and he giggles.
“Coward,” he laughs, “but I will.”
“And Sunwoo,” you start again. “I would never do anything without your approval.”
“Thank you,” he replies, touched and aware of the feelings you will always have for him. “For everything, but especially for being with me.”
“I should be the one thanking you, my lifesaver,” you kissed his cheek as you take his hand in yours. “Let’s remain good friends, in the future.”
“Absolutely, if I ever get over you,” he laughs in a reassuring way.
You know that the joke is just his way of breaking the tension, so you laugh it off, saying that he should, and you imitated a knife at your throat as a warning, which makes him laugh heartily. Then, your heart sinks at the sound of you no longer being the recipient. Yes you fell in love with someone else, and it will be just as hard to get over him. But you have Juyeon, and he’s your rock.
Juyo <3
Juyo can I come over?
Sure, is something wrong?
These three words are enough to turn your heart upside down. He’s always been thoughtful, and now that you’ve accepted your feelings, you feel butterflies swirling in your tummy.
Juyo <3
Sunwoo and I broke up
I’ll pick you up in 5
Yes pls, drive safely
He pulls up in the parking lot exactly 5 minutes after his message, just like he said. You rush down the stairs, too eager to melt into his arms to wait for the lift. He doesn’t have time to get out of the car before you throw yourself on him, crying. Tears of separation and heartbreak, and tears of joy when you see him again because you know you love him.
“I’m here,” he whispers in a panicked voice, probably not expecting you so soon and in such a state. “I’m right here, let it out.”
And you do, the feelings you’ve been burying for 2 months are just waiting to be expressed. You cry until your body aches from lack of air and your eyes are dry. Finally, you shiver and regret having gone out so quickly without covering up. But Juyeon is just as quick to pull the jacket he was wearing over your shoulders and you hum happily as his scent washes over you.
“Let’s go home?” He caresses your hair tenderly.
You’re amazed that he doesn’t ask any questions, he just stands by you and supports you through this difficult ordeal that he knows only too well. And the truth is, he’s even sad for you. No matter how much he loves you, you’re the definition of love to him. For you to break up with Sunwoo, for whatever reason, doesn’t make any sense. It’s not his place to ask if you don’t tell him first, so he just holds your hand on the way back, and when he has to let go to change gear, he makes sure he puts it back on your thigh.
This makes you blush like a tomato, how dare he put his big hand on your thigh, almost completely covering it whole. You’re pretty sure your feelings are written all over your face, but he mistakes your blushing for embarrassment, when in fact it’s just romantic stimulation. You look up to see if his hand placement has any effect on him, only to find that he is blushing as well. Being as dense as he is, you mistook his shyness for embarrassment.
You two definitely make quite the pair.
“Make yourself at home Starlight,” he says as he opens the front door, never stopping to hold your hand.
You step inside as he tells you to and try to take off your shoes, planning to curl up on the sofa under the blanket while you wait for him and his hugs. But he had other ideas as he grabs your wrist to pull you closer, pinning you between him and the newly closed front door. Your surprise translates into a gasp that becomes a choke as he drops to one knee. Your heart pounds in your chest at the way he looks at you, worshipping you. Without warning, he bends down to untie your shoelaces, still smiling and even a little mischievous.
“What?” He smiles proudly. “Can’t I look after my Starlight?”
You open your mouth to speak but no sound comes out, too surprised by his playful tone.
“Cat got your tongue?” He sticks out his tongue as he stands up.
“Yes, you got it!” You slap him gently as a reward for nervousness.
“Not in my mouth though…” He whispers so quietly you almost don’t hear it, and that earns him another slap, only he steps back to avoid your blow and you stumble and fall on top of him.
“I guess it will be easier to carry you now,” he chuckles, kissing your forehead.
He puts his arms under your knees and around your waist and you squeal as he lifts you up, bridal style. This man will be the death of you. Oh, how you would kiss him if you weren’t so heartbroken and hadn’t just broken up. And he would kiss you just as much. You’re both madly in love and it shows.
He wraps you in a blanket as he lays you down on the sofa before kissing your forehead for the umpteenth time. Then he goes into the kitchen and fetches your favourite foods, drinks and desserts, which he sets out on the coffee table. You were surprised by the homemade dishes, as if he’d made them with a special purpose in mind. But he doesn’t say a word or make a comment, he just slips under your blanket when he’s done and hugs you, breathing in your scent.
You stay in each other’s arms for a while, not saying a word, just enjoying your hearts beating in unison. It feels heavenly, relaxing and you can almost feel yourself coming back to life. If Sunwoo was your lifesaver, Juyeon is your guardian angel. He is always looking out for you and giving you his utmost special care, just like right now, for no particular reason (even if there is one now).
He doesn’t pry, he just waits for you to speak while he grabs the remote to put on the latest show you’ve started together and feeds you. You’re quite grateful for the little comments he makes during the show, distracting you from the truth: the burning love you have for him that consumes you. In the end, you tell him that you still love Sunwoo, but that your recent incessant arguments have taken their toll on you.
That, against all odds, you’ve spilt up properly. And that it will be a while before you move on, but that the door is not closed. You made sure to emphasise this part, because what if there’s a small chance that Sunwoo was right and Juyeon is a fool in love with you? You’re not ready yet, but when the time comes, you want to confess your love to him and live out the childhood romance you’ve always dreamed of, until death do you part.
The next few of weeks passed in a blur, and you have basically settled into Juyeon’s apartment – going back and forth to your house to pick up your things and put them in his closets. Your shoes sits nicely in the new shoe rack he bought for you to go out together, and your toothbrush sits proudly next to Juyeon’s. You even have matching ones. Oh, and Juyeon can finally happily say that you’ve got your side of the bed, with your cute belongings on the bedside table and a picture of the two of you at 16 in a frame.
In fact, you slowly become a domestic couple-like going grocery shopping together and going on so-called dates. Life with Juyeon is easy. Whether you go out at dawn or dusk, he’s always with you, matching your pace and holding your hand from the streetlights to the dancing starlight. When you saw your hands touching and your steps overlapping, it reminds you of your first encounter and the fluttering of your heart. How you shyly looked at him, only to see him already looking at you lovingly, red on his cheeks. That cold winter you spent together was actually the warmest moment of Juyeon’s life, and that day might have been the day you hid a present for each other in your sleeve.
Even more slowly, your relationship with Juyeon develops as the months go by. It was hard not for it to blossom, considering the fact that you live together and that you absolutely do everything together, but it’s happening. Juyeon has started to walk around bare chest when he gets out of the shower and sometimes! He even goes to bed naked, with just his pyjama pants hanging low on his hips.
Of course, you get to snuggle up against his warm chest and cuddle to sleep. When it comes to sleeping, you don’t even try to fall asleep on your own side of the bed anymore because you always wake up in each other’s arms. You have definitely grown closer and closer in just a few months.
Your touches with one another have become more sensual and romantic and your words more flirtatious. You wear his clothes more often than usual, sometimes getting out of bed in just his t-shirt and underwear, awakening certain feelings within him. From time to time, he dares to put his hands under your (his) t-shirt and kiss your forehead tenderly, for lack of being able to kiss your lips sensually and make you his, right when you wake up.
“All pretty for me hm?” He said the first time you went to sleep in this garment. “You know I’m just a man.”
And if you sat on his hips to cuddle him afterwards, maybe the message got through. Maybe a little too much, given that a few minutes later he pretended to be in a hurry and the water ran for a long time. He’s just a man.
Yes, your man.
Another time, when you were out shopping at the mall, people addressed you as a couple and you didn’t mind, oh no. Perhaps it was the smiley eye contact you made, or the way he held you in his arms and you leaned into him, almost as if you were going to kiss, that gave it away. At least, that’s what gave Sunwoo, who was watching you nearby, the courage to send you a message.
Woo ☼ (1)
Hi, hello! I saw you at the mall with Juyeon, can we talk? I’m with Changmin, we can ditch them together?
Hi Sunny!!! Sure we can, the cafe nearby?
Juyeon was a little reluctant to leave you alone with Sunwoo due to the countless nights you spent crying and the difficulty you had opening up (not to mention your blossoming love for Juyeon) but he quickly gave up because he knew you wanted it and he was happy to spend time with Changmin. Juyeon is the love of your life and you can’t pretend that he isn’t anymore.
“Hi Sweetheart, I saw you left your shopping bags with your man,” he laughs and you kick him under the table so as not to draw attention to yourself.
“Stop that Kim Sunwoo!” You whine.
“Stop what? Calling you sweetheart or calling him your man?”
“Both!” You laugh embarrassed and shy.
“How are you?” He changes the subject after one last laugh and you’re happy to see that he hasn’t changed, he’s still as playful and lively as ever.
“I’m fine, nothing has really changed since our last messages. I told you I got my dream job, so Juyeon and I are treating ourselves with my first salary. Oh, and Juyeon has also found a new job he’s really enjoying. Hence, the reason why we’re out shopping.” You went on to rave about your everyday life, happy to share this new chapter with him, whom you still love very much, just not romantically anymore.
“You must love him a lot,” he says softly, almost as if he were muttering to himself. “It’s cute, you’re cute, I’m happy for you.” And you don’t answer, curious to hear what he’s going to say next.
“I’ve been thinking about you a lot over the past six months,” he begins. “Thank you for always reaching out to me and not ghosting me despite the break-up, it meant a lot to me. Being away from you has been hard. I will not lie. But it also taught me that I was too dependent on you and it felt great to spend time by myself and with our friends. I got news from them and saw that you were doing well, as anyone going through a break-up would be. And it made me realise that, if you were fine, I should be fine, even if it was just a facade, that somehow the sadness would pass.”
You nod to let him know you’re listening and that you’re on the same wavelength as him.
“And it did,” he whispers almost happily, as if the weight he was carrying close to his heart has been lifted. “I thought I would love you for the rest of my life, but then I met someone.” You gasp at his words and tear up a little.
“It came as a blessing, without me even looking for it, and I can say that I’m happy now. So when I saw you so happy on Juyeon’s arm, looking at him lovingly like he hung the stars in the sky I thought: “Ah, you’re really on cloud nine with him”. I shouldn’t hold you back from your happiness. You have my blessing, not that you need it but date him, kiss him, make love and live happily ever after.” To emphasise his words, he squeezes your hand which he has started to hold somewhere in his monologue, and kisses it.
You swear you didn’t want to cry, and Juyeon will probably be worried to see your swollen eyes, but how can you remain impassive in the face of so much love? It’s true, you held back and would have kissed Juyeon if it wasn’t for Sunwoo. But now you’ll both be happy.
You chatted for quite a while, enjoying your reunion as friends, learning more about the person he had met and ranting about your life with Juyeon, when he appeared before you with Changmin, impatient to get you back. You missed him. How did you manage to live without Juyeon so far? Ecstatic, you jump into his arms and bid your goodbyes promising to meet again soon. As you walk away, Juyeon’s phone beeps and he just shrugs at the message in his inbox with a smile. Then he ruffles your hair, earning a pout from you that he kisses away at the corner of your lips. You wonder what the message was, but the kiss is definitely more important.
Sunwoo (1)
I’ve seen the way you look at each other, it’s full of love. Give it a shot!
Yes, there will be many more kisses now.
And here you are today, on Juyeon’s couch, enjoying your home date for the tenth anniversary of your friendship, with Sunwoo’s blessing in the back of your mind. You spent the day cooking together, sweet and savoury, having fun with the shapes of the cakes and pizzas (hearts and dicks like the children you are), playing games, dancing and listening to music in a good-natured atmosphere.
Today’s a day to celebrate your friendship. Yes friendship, when all you want to do is kiss him senseless. Maybe confessing today is not such a bad idea. Especially when you see him coming out of the shower in all his glory, beads of water running down his naked torso, hair tousled and wet, tongue running over his lips sensuously as he looks you straight in the eye, ready to pounce on you. Oh, and, his cinnamoroll pyjama pants, low on his hips and revealing the Apollo belt of his abs, make you smile as much as it turns you on.
Juyeon takes his place between your legs, smiling, his hot muscular back resting on your chest as he lays his head back on your shoulder, dampening your matching melody pyjamas. He chuckles as he turns his head to see you gawping. His big veiny hand that had been squeezing your thigh flies to your cheek, turning your flushed face towards him so he can kiss the pout at the corner of your lips. His beautiful lips linger a little longer on your neck, but you welcome his touch with open arms and lean into his embrace.
His eyes are full of stars when he rises from your embrace to grab the remote and turn on your series. But he remains seated between your legs, unconsciously resting a hand on your knee to preserve the intimacy you’re so immersed in. You help him on with his t-shirt, not without kissing his shoulder first, making him shiver. And your hands take the opportunity to wander down his torso to his waist, making him smirk as well. You become more and more adventurous, he loves it and can’t wait to run his lips all over your body, discovering all of it.
You place a kiss on the crown on his hair and when you notice that it’s already dry, an idea crosses your mind. Juyeon’s focus is back on the show, so much so that he can barely feel your hands playing with his hair. You give him a rather pleasant massage, moving down to the small of his chest, across his neck and up into his hair, twisting it between your fingers.
“How does it feel?” You murmured in a hushed tone.
“Heavenly,” he moans.
The tension is palpable as you continue your services, your hearts beating wildly, almost as one. He takes one of your hands in his to kiss it, the attention making you blush, before replacing it in his hair and nodding for you to continue. So you undertake one of the most romantic acts of love in your eyes, braiding his hair. Strand by strand, your fingers caress the edges of his face. The braids come undone as quickly as they are made, but he smiles broadly as he touches them, feeling butterflies in his stomach and his heart beating erratically.
“I could see our everyday life like this,” you whisper in his ear. “Together.”
Juyeon, who had been purring at your display of affection, becomes still when he hears your words. He slowly turns to face you with the most charming smile and tenderly takes your hand to place it on his chest, where his heart burns with love. The fire in his eyes burns inexorably, lighting up his already sunny face, unable to leave him. You’re captivated by this intensity and he doesn’t look away, also in love with your sparkling eyes, even when he reaches out to grab a little box that has always been right in front of your eyes. Yes, his love has always been on display. You were just too slow to catch on.
But you get it now. You’re two fools in love.
“You know how our youth is filled with each other’s names?” He says, voice a little hoarse and heart beating fast under your palm. “Well, my heart has never changed, I’ve always wanted to be with you. You are my breath of fresh air, the warmth that keeps me going through the winter, and the words I’m about to tell you will never melt away. My everything is all about you, it has always been about you.” He pauses to take a deep breath and kisses the palm of your hand, which he then links with his own, intertwining your fingers.
“I love you,” he sighs with love and happiness. “I love you so much that I was reading my destiny inside your eyes without even knowing it.” The flame of love he has carried all these years dances in his eyes, making him irresistible and captivating. Your heart is pounding in your chest as you wait for his question, palpitations he feels through your bound hands.
“Would you be mine?” His gaze, dropping to your lips then back to your eyes, is determined as he opens the velvet box to reveal two rings. Not just any rings, the matching promise rings to the bracelets you bought months ago. The ones on your wrists that you’ve never taken off.
As if on cue, as a sign of future commitment, he kisses your left ring finger and places the ring on your right with such tenderness that you almost cry. No, you’re pretty sure tears are rolling down your face because he puts his thumb under your eyes to gently wipe away the tears and kisses the salty drops that have run down your cheeks, close to your lips. With that, you mirror his actions by kissing the ring, his left ring finger and placing it on his right finger with a dazzling smile, as an unspeakable promise – that you’ll spend the rest of your lives together.
“I have always been yours. I love you Juyeon, so much that I’m going crazy.”
Even now, after confessing his feelings and hearing yours, he remains respectful and lets you make the first move with a victorious smile. You grin, feeling the cool material of the ring on your cheek as he cups your face in his hand, reminding you that this is all real and that he loves you.
And he does.
So you finally lean in, closing the gap between you to rest your lips on his. It was meant to be a soft and quick peck, but he captures your body and deepens the kiss, years of longing and wanting not to be wasted, leaving you breathless. His lips search yours every time you pull away, not wanting to let go, intoxicated by your lips and this new closeness. If you spend the rest of the evening making out and exploring each other, no one will say a word. Not even your neighbours.
Ah, you’ve never been in love and wanted to be with anyone as much as you do with him, and this since you were 16.
trope/au » established relationship au, non-idol au
genre » very fluffy, falling asleep during studying and boyfriend juyeon who is worried for you because you don't take the greatest care of yourself, (it really was supposed to be fluff all through the end) turns suggestive towards the last quarter of the story, reader is a bit playful, juyeon is very in love with you, of course you are super in love with him too
word count; estimated reading time » 1032; ~4 mins
warnings (lmk if i missed anything!) » quite suggestive at the end, indeed...a suggestive sentence at the very end, juyeon lifts the reader up, reader wears glasses, reader implied to be smaller than juyeon, juyeon restrains reader's hands, pet names (bubs, baby girl)
navi/masterlist!! 🤍 the boyz masterlist 🤍 ateez choi san ver.
thank you to @jaehunnyy for her hard work in finding the pictures for the banners above and proofreading a bit of this one! you once again saved me from a potential crying session fr 😀 and also chip, ig this is your second late bday present? even though technically it's the same as the first one 😭
It’s not an unusual occurrence for you to be staying up late at night and for Juyeon to find you draped over your books and worksheets when he gets home. In fact, it’s becoming such a usual occurrence that Juyeon is making it a habit to open the front door with such gentleness that the click of the door opening would be too loud for his liking. In reality, your study desk at your shared apartment is quite a distance from the entrance of the apartment, so if Juyeon wanted to, he could enter in the same way as if you were awake.
But he didn’t want to.
In the rare case that you decide to snooze off on the couch, he doesn’t want to be the one to ruin your precious, peaceful sleeping time. Unfortunately for him, he would still be needing to do it one way or another if he ever finds you asleep on the couch or anywhere but your shared bed. The victorious smile from closing the front door quietly soon turns upside down, frowning at the sight of your head lying on your stack of handouts in the study room. The stack acted as your pillow, your arms around the rectangular pile. You look like you have been resting your body for some time now, given that Juyeon’s soft head pat didn’t faze you at all. With a slightly heavy sigh, Juyeon makes his way to the other side of the desk to get a better look at your face. He kneels on the floor, content with being more at eye level with you.
He’s surprised to see that you must’ve been so exhausted that taking your glasses off might have been too much effort for you. The side frame completely rests on the paper, the nose pad of the glasses no longer resting properly on your nose. Juyeon hisses at how the hard plastic pushes against your nose, already imagining the pain when you wake up and realise tomorrow.
“Bubs,” he tests your consciousness with a whisper. “Your whole body is going to hurt when you wake up, you know?” Your breathing is still as even as before, and the no response from you deepens his frown. “I’m sorry, but I’m going to move you, okay?”
Juyeon rises to his feet once again, grabbing the blanket drapped on your study desk that he has prepared. He’s told you multiple times to at least cover your body if you don’t plan to take a nap on the bed, but he should have known that when tiredness kicks in, all a person wants to do is to close their eyes. Juyeon spreads the light cotton across your back, kissing the side of your head and humming sweet melodies to avoid surprising you too much with his movement.
“Juyeon?” You slur sleepily, still unable to fully wake up. Juyeon clicks your desk light off and soon sees your content smile at his little gesture. “When did you get home?”
“Just a few seconds ago. When did you fall asleep?”
“Just a few minutes ago.” A raised eyebrow from your boyfriend is what prompts you to tell him the truth. “A little longer than that.”
Juyeon tuts disapprovingly, “You can’t keep slouching off on the table. It’s not good for your body. And this,” he takes your glasses off by the hinges, “it’s not comfortable for you.”
You hum at his loving lecture for you, beginning to straighten your back from the long nap. Truthfully, if Juyeon weren’t beside you right now, you would be sending complaints to your past self for dozing off at the table, your back cramping and sore. But Lee Juyeon knows you too well, and the creases between your eyebrows tell him everything.
“See?” He reprimands.
You’re not given another chance to rebut when he swivels the chair around for you to face him. In a second, you’re in his arms, the back of your knee and back supported securely with his arms, and your shoulder pressed against his chest. Juyeon looks down at you, pressing a quick kiss on your forehead that you respond to by pressing yours along his jawline. Along the short walk to the adjacent room, you plant kisses all over his face, giggling at the way his cheeks grow red with every second.
Just a few seconds before Juyeon would rest you gently on the mattress, you steal a kiss from his plump lips, arms wrapped around his nape and threading your fingers into the strands of his hair. Juyeon almost stumbles but soon regains balance when he registers the way you delicately take his lips. Along with the giggles and fabric rustling against each other in the small room, it’s not long until your head properly lays on a pillow. Juyeon doesn’t let you breathe after, climbing on top of your figure with his palms beside your head to support himself. His knees sink to the mattress beside your thighs, and you’re left breathless with the man before you. The remnants of his cologne are clearer now, and the proximity leaves you curling up a side of your lips.
Your boyfriend knows the meaning of your expression well from experience. “Don’t rile me up, baby girl…”
Just like he did a second ago, your eyebrow rises. Your pointer traces along the center of his exposed neck, feeling the gulp and his intense stare on you. You glide across his skin, tracing along his collarbones slowly, making sure that your touch lingers on his skin. When your finger slides down to the neckline of his fabric, it curls around his shirt to pull his tense expression closer to you. A quick touch of your lips is all you spare him before regaining eye contact with him.
“And if I do?”
Those words are enough for Juyeon to lose control, pulling the sheets to his palms as he fists them tightly. One hand leaves the bed, restraining both your wrists under his hold above your head. He dives closer to the crook of your neck, ragged breathing and warm breath against your skin.
“I’ll make sure you’ll sleep peacefully for days.”
navi/masterlist!! 🤍 the boyz masterlist 🤍 ateez choi san ver.
classmate! the boyz juyeon x fem! reader
fluff
wc: 4.5k hallelujah
warnings: none that i know of
a/n: fake dating aye aye ayeee .... but its nearly not even discussed ;; finally and definitely words are overused
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Girlfriend. I said girlfriend. Everybody, my girlfriend." Juyeon pulls you beside him as he strikes you with his menacingly fake eye smile, trying to get you into the problem he was currently making.
Your eye twitches in confusion, but your head nods anyway as you twist it slowly to look at his mother and friends in front of him, beaming at Juyeon. His mom quickly takes your hand to shake, eyes brightly smiling at you just like how Juyeon's did.
"It's good to finally meet his boyfriend he's been nonstop talking. It came to a point I thought he was only making up a girlfriend in his head," His mom chuckles and Juyeon grunts beside you as he gently takes your hand back to hold.
"Is he being real now?" Eric questions Chanhee, and honestly, no one knows whether he was being real. So you ask him back.
"Yeah, Juyeon, are you being for real now?" You chuckle, questioning him daringly.
"Yeah, real. Absolutely real." He smiles, nose scrunching at you.
Graduation ceremony just ended and photo ops were everywhere, when Juyeon suddenly asks for a picture with you. When leaving, suddenly, his mom was in front of you along with his friends, introducing you as his girlfriend.
"What the hell was that, Juyeon?" You ask, finally getting some alone time by leaving the hall for a moment. "I'm suddenly your girlfriend?"
"Sorry about that," Juyeon chuckles, scratching his head. "My mom kept bugging me for a girlfriend for a few months already, so I thought I'd... pull you just then," He tried reasoning- still unreasonable.
"Are you kidding me, Juyeon? Me? Of all people?" You act as if crying, head pounding with all of his bullshit. "We're not even the closest friends! We've only talked like- how many times, Juyeon?"
"I'm sorry, y/n... But please bear with this for a while, just over the break! And I promise we'll end like nothing even happened,"
After a few minutes of silence, you stared at Juyeon warily before heaving a sigh, finally giving in.
"Just over the break, Juyeon."
"Mom's inviting you over her birthday..." Juyeon starts over the call, and you could hear him walking around as he stated the purpose of the call. "...And properly meet... literally my whole family."
"What the hell?" You helplessly mock cry, rubbing your temples to come up with a plan. "Juyeon, wasn't it enough that you introduced me as a girlfriend? You invite me to family events now?" You ask. "Look, I know all I've been doing the whole week was lie down and catch up with The Umbrella Academy but any of what you're saying is out of my plans!"
"Well, you're my girlfriend after all, so of course she's going to invite you." You don't know if Juyeon's too innocent and pure to even be doing this. All you know was that he really has no ill intentions over the matter. While you're helpless, someone's more helpless than you. Juyeon is. "I can just say you're not over the weekend, y/n."
"It'll be too rude to decline!" You stop him, "...I'll go."
And there you were, standing in front of their porch by a random Saturday afternoon, box of cake in one hand and flowers in the other. You had to elbow the doorbell, shaking at the apparently, first meet the whole family.
"Oh!" Juyeon's bright smile welcomes you once the door opens, setting the glass of wine she's been holding aside to get the things you've been holding. "Is this all for me?"
"Yes, ma'am," You chuckle, accepting a side hug from her. "Happy birthday, ma'am. I hope I'm not bothering your day,"
"You keep saying ma'am- we're family now! You should call me mom too! And don't worry about barging in, I invited you! Let me get Juyeon," She welcomes you in, leading you to the living room but even before she steps away, she turns around to look at you again. "Right! I almost forgot." She smiles, "Thank you for these." She raises both of her hands that now hold what you held, and you smile at her.
"Of course." You stay wandering around the living room, looking at the endless picture frames and you see Juyeon's growth throughout the years.
Although being classmates with him since first year high school, you realize you never really got to interact with him as much. As classmates, yes, but nothing outside of school grounds.
Looking at each picture since being a baby, and then from starting kindergarten, to the recent graduation, a giggle can't help leaving your lips when you realize that Juyeon's eye smile never changed.
"What are you laughing at?" You jump at Juyeon's voice beside your ear, looking at the frame you were last looking. When you whip your head to the side, his face was inches away. You step back due to shock, almost tumbling their vase down. "Sorry, did I scare you?" He giggles, putting his hands in his pants pockets. "You didn't call me so I wasn't able to get the door for you."
After gaining composure, you smile at him.
"I was holding a flower and a cake. You think I can call you in that case?" You pick on him, jokingly glaring. "I can't come empty handed when it's my boyfriend's mom's birthday."
"And for your boyfriend?" He lets out his hands in front of you, ready to receive something. You scoff, smirking. "Well, you came here for me too, didn't you?"
"Oh, I have one." You shake your head, smiling at him. You take his hand to pull closer to you and lower, stealing a quick kiss on his cheek.
Just at the right timing, his mom enters and invites you to the dining table, and you leave Juyeon with a pat in the shoulder and a sneaky smile.
You miss how Juyeon stays in his place for a whole minute, processing what just happened as his ears go red. His cheekbones slowly make its way up, eyes blinking in an abnormal pace as if it made up for the skip of beat of his heart.
"Juyeon, it's time to introduce your girlfriend," Juyeon's mom knocks on the wall to get his attention, and he immediately gets back flat on his feet and hopping to the dining.
He grabs your hand swiftly as you stand before his family, intertwining it and giving you a glance before introducing you.
"Everybody, y/n. My girlfriend. Y/n, my family. Sister, Younger brother, Mom, and Dad." They all smile at you as you give your respects to them, and then melting at Juyeon's warmth as you hide behind his shoulder due to shyness at everyone's eyes on you.
You were definitely, definitely welcomed.
And from that point on, you didn't even feel like you were just a fake girlfriend.
Not until right after eating, no. When suddenly, his younger brother asks you when you started dating.
"My brother always tells me everything! So I was upset when he revealed that he had a girlfriend but didn't tell me before..." He pouts and Juyeon chuckles, mumbling another apology to the poor guy.
Saliva caught up in your throat though, chugging down the whole glass of water trying to think of a good answer. You tried pinching Juyeon's thigh under the table but he only shoos it off, meaning you were on it by yourself only.
"Ah, haha." You tried lighting up the atmosphere. Everybody was waiting for your answer, and you try to come up with the safest one.
"Actually, we just started dating since graduation." You smile, and everybody sits still in silence. "Before the ceremony, I finally agreed after Juyeon pursued me for months," You exaggerate, finally earning chuckles from the family. You silently let out a sigh of relief and continue the conversation. "I'm sorry your brother didn't tell you,"
Because he didn't tell me either.
You glare at Juyeon for a second, smiling in a second once you whipped your head in front.
"What do you like most about my brother? Because I don't see anything someone like you would like from my brother. Definitely out of his league." His sister jokes around, earning a whine from Juyeon and a subtle kick under the table.
And you ponder. It takes you a few minutes because really, this wasn't one of the questions you imagined being asked today, right in front of his family.
"See! She can't even answer!"
You take a glance at Juyeon, and then chuckle.
"I think it's just hard to put into words," You explain, holding Juyeon's hands. Without trying to die out of cringe, you exhale deeply. "I think it was Juyeon's smile that I love most." You smile, turning to his family while letting your hand stay on his. "It never changes. From first year, to now, it's safe to say that Juyeon's smile never changed. And it felt... relieving? Of some kind- to realize that although everything was changing, he wasn't."
Everybody was silent. Their eyes were on you, especially Juyeon. He wasn't expecting any serious answer for he only dragged you into this mess but... now, he's far from regretting the choices he's been making.
"It felt comforting. His presence as a whole too, that I could come and go run to someone that was far from changing. And I could only hope to be the same for him." You tighten your hold on Juyeon's hand, and he was already smiling up to his ears.
The scene made everyone's heart flutter, and although Juyeon's sister almost vomited, she hated to admit it was pleasing to the eye that finally, someone had Juyeon's back.
Meanwhile Juyeon, was dying of cuteness. He wanted to squish you in a tight hug-- although you were definitely just a fake girlfriend, and he has no idea whether you were making that up- it doesn't matter.
He has fallen way too deep.
To be honest, everything he reasoned out to be in this situation was true. Except the fact that he had to run around the large hall room just to look for you and was even ready to beg you to help him out. Turns out, you found him. You. It was you who found him. And coincidentally, was already in front of his mom and his friends.
When you saw him, you weren't really planning on it, were you? But since he was already in front of you, you asked for a picture.
And fast forward- which got you into this mess. Would you even call it a mess?
"Well that was one fine lunch." You whisper, already habitually holding his hand as you made your way to the living room alone with him.
"I enjoyed it." Juyeon chuckles, which makes you whip your head toward him. When you took a seat, you furrowed your eyebrows. Juyeon was continuously smiling at you, which makes you burst out laughing.
"Juyeon, you're overusing your special killer move. Stop smiling, you'll grow on me." You point at him and he... wriggles in place, falling right beside you on the couch.
"I'm sorry you had to go all through that," He starts, grabbing your hand to study. He memorizes how your warmth feels, where your calluses break the softness and smoothness of your skin, and how your fingers are just like the right piece of puzzle to his large fingers to intertwine with.
"Don't worry about it. At the end of it all I had fun," You smile, and you scoot to the side to take a better look at him, looking at your hand.
And you wonder, how come you've never laid your eyes on him?
"Right, my sister is getting married next month, they'd expect me to bring you as my plus one," Juyeon turns to look at you after intertwining your hands, and once again, your faces were only inches apart. "T-that's... if you're, uh, free, of course."
"I'm agreeing only because I liked your family." You chuckle, poking his nose lightly.
"And me?" It almost comes out as a whisper, and you softly smile.
"And you."
"I'm five minutes away," You giggle over the phone, "Sorry, I was stuck in traffic."
"Take your time, I'm waiting patiently," Juyeon chuckles when he senses your panic in your voice, trying to calm you down. He waits by the entrance doors, bidding goodbye once he sees you hopping to the mall.
"Hey, sorry." Juyeon ends the call and buries his phone in his pocket, smiling at you. He gives you a side hug and assures you once again, giving you the small bouquet of tulips he bought prior. "Ooooh Juyeon, what's this for?"
"For our first date." He twirls in place due to embarrassment, while you give him the most cheeky smile you could give.
"Aw! Thank you Juyeon! So much for being a fake girlfriend," You chuckle, and you don't mean to be a party pooper, really.
It was just to... remind the both of you.
You inhale sharply to change the sudden drop of mood, smiling.
"Now, help me find a good outfit for the wedding."
You've been roaming around trying to find the best outfit that fit the garden theme of the wedding, not seeming to find the 'right' one for you.
"You must be tired. We should eat first," You frown apologetically, pulling him beside you to sit.
"I'm okay though," Juyeon worriedly looks at you who seems frustrated, taking your hand to caress.
"I just can't see any dress to my liking," You pout, stomping your feet childishly.
"Should we go drive to another mall?"
"No, it's fine. I've bothered you enough. We can go check one last store and then I'd have to settle with what I can," You explain, pressing your lips to a thin line. "But before that, we should eat."
"What do you want to order?" You ask, turning to him when he's still so busy looking up the menu. You chuckle, initiating to order yours first when you realize the cashier was gawking at Juyeon already. "Sorry, excuse me?" When she still hasn't responded, you groan in annoyance. "Juyeon, baby, you still haven't decided?" You chuckle, pulling him closer.
Juyeon buffers in real life when he hears you say baby, blinking rapidly.
"Huh?" But a smile was forming in his lips. "Baby, sorry. Baby, I'll take the F2 set, baby." See, when Juyeon wants to tease you with your slip of mouth, he tends to overuse it toward you. You roll your eyes, but mirror his smile anyway.
"You were saying what, baby?" Juyeon asks as you take a seat, laughing his heart out.
"My god, I hate you so much," You groan, looking away.
"Oh but do you, really? You hate your baby so much?" He coos, and you push his face away. After letting out a hearty laugh, "Let's go to your last store and pick a dress. The sun's going down. If you want, we can go drive by another mall by tomorrow before the wedding the day after tomorrow."
"It's okay. You should go rest for tomorrow too. I'll pick a dress there in the store," You smile, urging him to go and eat first. "Thank you for going with me, Juyeon. You must be really tired,"
"I told you, I'm okay." He shakes his hand in front of you, and for a second, you suppress the urge to hold his hand. "I enjoyed today and had fun with you."
As you made your way to the last store, he sees your eyes shine at the variety of options presented to you. But one dress appealed the most to you, immediately picking it.
"This is it, Juyeon," You whisper, hands roaming around the peach ankle-length floral sundress that perfectly fit your body. "This is it, Juyeon!" You jump out of the dressing room, showing him the dress and twirling in place in happiness.
Juyeon admires. It was the first time you had shown him any of the dresses you have tried on, and "God, you're beautiful." was the only thing that could come out of his mouth.
God, you were really, very, so beautiful.
You chuckle shyly, looking around when Juyeon only looks at you with such heart eyes.
"I'll go change back now, I'll take this," You blabber, skipping back to the dressing room. After one last look at yourself, you smile satisfyingly.
Juyeon is only brought back to reality when you're out of sight, and only realizes he was holding back his breath when he releases a long sigh.
Oh he just can't wait to see you again in that dress.
And his reaction doesn't really change when he sees you walking down the stairs of your porch, all ready to go with a sweet smile on your face.
"Beautiful." He says when he takes your hand to assist you, holding the passenger seat's door open.
"Not so bad yourself, baby." You scrunch your nose, taking a seat and eyes following Juyeon outside until he finally settled beside you.
"Ready?" He asks, and when he sees you smile, he finally starts the car.
And actually, time flies by fast when you're with Juyeon. The car ride was fast and fun, and it didn't occur to you until now that you and Juyeon clicked so much.
"I'll go get us some drinks. You must be thirsty after all that greetings from my family." You nod, smiling at him after sitting.
"Please be fast," You whisper, your introverted ass not not surviving for a minute alone in a social place. Juyeon chuckles as he pats your head, jogging to the back kitchen to grab you some drinks.
"Hey," When you thought Juyeon was back, you quickly turn to smile but is only greeted by his cousin, Jungwoo.
"Oh, hi! Jungwoo, right?" You welcome, growing uncomfortable at the stranger, but not wanting to be rude.
"Aye, you remembered!" Jungwoo lightens the mood, and had no other ill intentions but to keep you company. He sits besde you and starts a small talk, in which eventually you grew comfortable of his presence.
He was a funny guy, and made you laugh a lot. Now even that he stays still, the way he moves, he makes you laugh.
"Unfortunately, your clown has to go now. I have to take care of things on the groom's side, you know, for their last salut for tonight,"
"Oh yeah, do so! I'm so sorry I took much of your time. I wonder where Juyeon went," You smile apologetically, shaking your hands in front of him to urge him to go ahead.
"There your prince charming goes," He pouts to a direction, making you whip your head to the side. The familiar face finally makes you heave a sigh of relief, smiling at him.
He lets out a fake smile for a second, as he makes his way to you.
"Had fun?" Juyeon asks hastily, after nodding at Jungwoo and sitting where Jungwoo had sat.
"Yeah, your cousin's fun! Definitely should try stand up comedy," You chuckle, ignorant of Juyeon's change of mood.
"Good." That's where it hit you, when Juyeon didn't have his signature smile plastered on his face, simply chugging the glass of champagne twirling between his fingers.
"Did something happen? Why the long face?" You question, taking his hand to caress.
"Nothing," He sighs, swiftly turning your hand for him to hold. He shoots you a smile, scooting closer. Maybe he's just had a bad moment back there, so you didn't press on it further. "The salut's next, then we can go back to the accommodation if you're tired,"
"No it's fine! I'm enjoying, and you're back anyway," You smile, and pay attention once the clank of the knife on the wine glass was heard.
"...Cheers!" Juyeon's sister raises her glass as everybody does, drinking the champagne right after.
"We're inviting all of the couple in the middle of the stage for the slow dance, in line with the newly wedded's requests! This has been..." The host had finally concluded the reception, the lights dimming and focusing on the stage, the music turning into a romantic, slow song.
A lot has been making their way in the middle, and your smile never leaves your face in adoration of the beautiful scene in front of you.
"Hey lovebirds, you should go dance too," Juyeon's parents suddenly appears behind the both of you, pushing you to stand and pulling you in the middle in contrast of Juyeon's whines.
Of course, he wasn't able to refute his parents' glares and formally takes your hand, asking for a dance.
"It's okay, I don't really know how to dance so,"
"That's okay, you have me." Juyeon smiles, and somewhat, that convinced you. So you take his hand and made your way in the middle, greeting the newly weds. You saw how Juyeon's sister raised her eyebrows at his brother teasingly, which earned her a chuckle.
Juyeon shyly teaches and guides you where to put your hands, and you feel how his palms were sweaty.
"I think you're more nervous than me, judging how your palms are sweaty and how fast your chest's going up and down in a second," You chuckle, laying your hand on his left chest. You feel how fast his heart is beating, and for a second right there, you were worried. "Did you drink too much? How come your heart's beating this fast, Juyeon?"
He nervously chuckles, but doesn't give you an answer. He continues to teach you how to waltz, and you comply... terribly.
"That's okay, you can just go and step on me all you want," Juyeon's laugh rings around your ears pleasantly, and as selfish as you can be, you want to be the only reason why he laughs like that.
The past month had been weird, but oddly heart fluttering because of Juyeon. Weird from the start that he had to ask you to be his fake girlfriend, and him as someone you had limited interactions only. But aside all that, you had been enjoying getting to know him and his family.
How his slow ass will never survive your fast pace, how he plays basketball any free second he's given, how he always have to drink milk at 8 am sharp, how he cannot, for the life of his, watch any scary video, much more a horror movie, without company, or how he gets upset easily.
"You were laughing a lot with Jungwoo earlier. What did you two talk about?" You chuckle at Juyeon's attempt to have a small talk, to hopefully avert your attention away from his stammering and cold sweating due to the close proximity.
"I figured you're jealous." You shrug, following his sense of rhythm and miraculously not stepping on him. "You don't have to, baby. We were talking about your diaper days. And he had lots of stories to tell about you so..."
"Who's jealous? Your baby? I don't think I need to be," When he finally hears you call him your endearment once again, his shoulders go way to high again, which makes you laugh.
You pull him in to a comfortable hug, swaying to the sound of the slow melody. You feel Juyeon stiffen, so you melt more into his warmth.
"You know, Juyeon, I'm at a point where I want to thank you for dragging me into this mess," Maybe you initiated a hug because you didn't want to face him as you say what has been bugging your mind all night. "For introducing me as your fake girlfriend. You've been nothing but good to me, as well as your family. To think that this will all come to an end so soon breaks my heart." You pout, and you thank the lords you're not seeing how Juyeon is reacting right now.
Because if you do, you might really just cry right then and there. Juyeon was too good to be true for you, and for a fact that you were the one who wanted all of this to end as soon as possible from the start was horrendous to think about. You should even be thanking him for giving you the opportunity to be treated by the Lee Juyeon.
"y/n-,"
"What I'm saying is, Juyeon... I like you. Over the past month, I've grown to like you not just a fake boyfriend. I hope I'm making sense here," You sigh, genuinely afraid of the chance of rejection. "I know I said we should end it by today but... If you still agree with that, I understand, you can leave me here and I won't hold any grudge."
You close your eyes, eventually feeling Juyeon's tensed body ease up, breaking the hug. Your chest tightens, feeling disappointed as your head drops down in embarrassment. You wait for a few seconds before opening your eyes, ready to walk away but there Juyeon was, in front of you, adoring your hunched self.
Just a second ago, he was the one all tensed up and all ready to call off the agreement in respect of your pleas of getting out of the messy situation. But now, he was the one all smug and confident, thanking you internally because you were the one who confessed.
Because really, would he even think about confessing after the dumb move he made in that graduation hall?
"You're so cute," Juyeon takes ahold of both of your arms again and guide its way atop his shoulders, softly linking his forehead onto yours sweetly. "y/n, you like a coward who's been hiding his feelings for 5 years straight. You like a coward who didn't think twice about his actions, a coward who, instead of confessing, drags the girl he likes all these years in front of his family and friends, introducing her as his girlfriend. You like a coward who was even thinking of letting you go just a minute ago, y/n. Because if you didn't even bat an eye on me all those years we've been classmates... what more can I bring to the table now, right?"
Juyeon's mind was all over the place. Just like how you were thinking awhile ago, he thinks you're indeed to good to be true for him. That you don't deserve someone as simple as him, someone as cowardly as him.
"Juyeon, look at me." You cup his cheek, smiling assuredly at him. "You're more than enough for me. I like you as you are, and I will love you as you offer. You're my coward, Juyeon. And I will take what you can give. We'll be each other's answers in each of our lapses. We don't have to be perfect. I just want you, Juyeon."
And as deep as the night, Juyeon finally lets go of his doubts, taking the hand you cupped his cheek with to kiss, and following your forehead thereafter.
It was safe to say that Juyeon was being real now. However this time, you were too. You both were.
taglist: @sunlightwoo (answer the form on my pinned to be included!)
Warnings: kissing, pet names, sneaking? grammar mistakes
a/n: well... i gave in ! thankies and smoochies to @shakalakaboomboo and @from-izzy for beta reading ! 🤍
network: @blankjournal
The crisp mountain air filled your room as soon as you opened the window, light rays of sunshine knocking on the hard glass. The woody scent from outside made you smile, reminding you of your childhood, yet it was all gone when you realised you might run out of time. You threw a quick look at the little watch on your nightstand, its screen signaling that it was almost 6 am. Why were you awake at such an ungodly hour? Well, the reason behind the hassle was sleeping peacefully in your bed, soft breaths audible as his body was engulfed by the warmth of your pink duvet, protecting him by the wind’s touch.
“Sweetheart, c’mon, it’s time to go back to your room,” you whispered, shaking the boy’s arm softly.
Juyeon stirred, visibly bothered by the fact that he already had to wake up. You were in a three-week summer camp with your other friends from college, away from the responsibilities that were to come with you growing up. Amidst that, Juyeon has made a habit out of sneaking into your room at night—hence, you two had to wake up before anyone noticed his absence to the morning call.
“Five more minutes?”
“Nope, you’re waking up now," you said, grabbing the blanket harshly and pushing it aside, making him shiver as soon as the morning coldness hit his bare arms.
“Baby, you’re exaggerating.” He whined, lower lip hanging into a pout while he pulled you into his arms, hoping to get some source of comfort after the blanket was ripped off of him. “A normal partner would wake the love of their life with a kiss or something, y’know…”
You sighed and started to brush his hair with your fingers, a smile escaping your lips as you looked at him through heavy, sleepy eyes. You and Juyeon have been dating for quite a while now, and everyone knew you were college sweethearts—well, everyone except the organiser who hosted the camp and provided this beautiful place for you. Juyeon insisted that you two beg the organiser to give you the room with the bunk bed, even preparing his best puppy eyes for the request—yet, as soon as you met her sharp eyes, the idea was quickly forgotten (to Hyunjae’s relief—yours and your boyfriend’s best friend, who was just hoping that you two would stay out of trouble for these three weeks). You almost gave the boy a panic attack when Juyeon told him to keep the door unlocked so he could get inside in the morning without bothering him, just so he could spend the night with you. Back in the city, you were living together, so you were really used to having each other close and sharing personal space, especially at night—the reason why, your oh-so-smart boyfriend thought sneaking was a great idea!
“We’re still meeting for the picnic we planned in the evening, aren’t we?” he asked, lips stretching into a lovely smile.
“Yes, sweetheart. Now go. I can already feel the host open her eyes and get ready to wake everyone up.”
You nuzzled for just a minute more into his neck, pressing a feather-like kiss on his shoulder and letting him go.
The evening was the time you were allowed to do whatever you desired, being given two hours to spend however you wished. Some of the guys went fishing, some of the others dived for a sweet, peaceful, beauty sleep, while the rest settled for a quick game of cards on the patio. You and Juyeon planned a little picnic to make up for the time spent separately (and also because saturday was your “all day together” day), so you excused yourselves after two games (which your boyfriend was so upset he lost—well, truth is he didn’t even concentrate on the game, too focused thinking about your date), taking the little basket with stolen snacks and a blanket for you to sit on. You found a place near a river, nice and shaded from the sun’s golden glow, surrounded by all sorts of alpine flowers that you and your boyfriend admired attentively.
“I missed you,” Juyeon said, pulling you closer to him so he could hug you.
You nuzzled into his neck, inhaling his musky cologne as a content sigh escaped your lips. “You were sitting next to me when we played cards with the others, and you also woke up next to me in the morning,” you teased, raising your head to meet his eyes, lips puckered into a soft pout. “Joking, sweetheart. I missed you too.”
He smiled and pressed a soft kiss on your temple, his head finding your lap not long after so you could play with his hair—a habit he got used to since you moved in together. Your fingers got lost in his black locks as he relaxed into your lap, your background music being a mix of his satisfied hums and the melodious chirping of the birds.
“Don’t you dare fall asleep! I will eat all the muffins and drink all the juice if you do,” you threatened jokingly, yet your smile dropped when you heard your lover’s steady breaths, his eyes closed. “Lee Juyeon!”
He kept his face still, adding to the dramatic effect. You made an annoyed sound, trying to push him off of your lap, when the boy broke into a whole-hearted laughter, dropping his acting immediately. His hands found your cheeks, cupping them as he brought his face closer to yours, lips finding each other like puzzle pieces, molding together into a sweet, longing kiss.
“I was just teasing you because you pulled the blanket off of me in the morning.”
You whined, hitting his arm softly, before wrapping your hands around his waist, dragging him into an embrace full of love.
“I wouldn’t miss the opportunity to spend time with you for nothing, my love.”
You still blushed like the first time, holding his nape to bring your faces together and pressing your nose onto his, rubbing softly, lively chuckles escaping your lips. The rest of your evening was filled with laughter and giggles, red hearts floating above the two of you as the love you shared spread into the air.
➸ synopsis: Seven minutes with a stranger that has a surprisingly nice voice. And not so surprisingly, nice hands too.
➸ starring: lee juyeon x reader
➸ word count: 1.5k
➸ general content: non-idol au, suggestive content, making out, blindfolds
➸ warnings: juyeon is so attractive read at your own risk
➸ rating: tv-14
➸ author’s note: cowritten during a very insane round of frantic fanfic with the girlies( @catboyieejenoo @ashonheavenscloud )! this is also me openly admitting to biasing juyeon bc let's just say the word count was a lot less when we ended the round💀
"Alright! Seven minutes on the clock you two!"
You hear muffled laughter through the door as you and the stranger hold onto each other’s arms, afraid of accidentally touching something you shouldn’t.
“It’s already pitch black in here,” a velvety voice says surprisingly close to you, and you nod, though a second later you realize he can’t see it. “Why on earth did they blindfold us?”
“For the vibes, I guess?” You laugh, then release your grip on his–you now realize–firm biceps. “Are we supposed to do a formal greeting or-”
“I don’t think that’s the point of the game, really.”
You laugh again, although this time it’s paired with a flush of heat on your cheeks. “Right, well… can I at least ask for a name?”
He chuckles, and if you had to be trapped in here with a random guy from your party, at least he has a rather attractive laugh. “It’s Juyeon.”
“Y/n.”
Your hands meet in an awkward but cute handshake, and the room is quiet for a moment after you share your names, save for the faint sounds of the party outside and the steady cadence of Juyeon’s breathing. The blindfold around your eyes feels snug, and you can’t help but giggle nervously.
“Okay, Juyeon,” you start, trying to sound casual but failing miserably, “what exactly is the protocol here? Icebreakers or awkward small talk?”
His laughter fills the confined space again, soft and rich, sending an unexpected thrill down your spine. You can't see it, but he tilts his head slightly in thought. “Small talk in the dark? Sounds romantic.”
You snort, playfully nudging his arm, though you’re not sure exactly where it lands. “Yeah, nothing sets the mood like fumbling around in a closet.”
Juyeon hums thoughtfully, his tone suddenly lighter. “You’re right. I should’ve prepared better. Maybe brought a candle or something."
Biting your lip, you have to admit that you got extremely lucky with who you got shoved into this closet with.
“Are you always this smooth, or is it just the lack of witnesses?” you tease, leaning slightly toward where his voice is coming from.
“You tell me. Is it working?” His voice dips lower as he leans in to whisper in your ear, the faintest edge of a smirk audible.
You reach out into the dark to find the collar of his shirt, pushing him away from your face slightly so you can look up to what you assume is his head.
“I think I know how to answer that,” you whisper, and he hums in delight before you lean in, noses finding each other just before your lips touch.
At least your designated makeout partner has soft lips, you think to yourself as he closes the gap fully, slipping a hand around your waist as your mouths gently collide. The press of his mouth is neither harsh nor faint, but slow, thoughtful and dizzying. With the blindfold on, your other senses are heightened; you can hear his breath hitch when your hand steadies yourself by sliding up his chest and over his shoulder; you can feel his own hand–big and warm and firm, turning your brain into static–hold your waist in a tighter grip, the other finding your chin to tilt you closer to him.
The kiss deepens, and any nervousness you might have felt earlier dissolves into the shared space between you. Juyeon’s lips move against yours with increasing confidence, his hand slipping from your chin to cup your cheek, thumb brushing gently along your jawline, before settling at the base of your neck, something akin to a necklace. The sensation makes your heart race, a warmth spreading through you that has nothing to do with the cramped closet.
“You’re good at this,” you murmur against his mouth, unable to resist teasing him even now. Your voice is breathless, but your smirk is clear and easy to feel against his lips.
“So are you,” he replies, his tone low and smooth, his breath warm against your skin. “But I think we should keep testing that theory.”
Before you can respond, his hand gives your throat an experimental squeeze just as his lips melt against yours again, the kiss deeper this time as a satisfied hum slips out of you. You can feel the way his taste coats the corner of your mouth, the way his tongue slips past your swollen lips to lick at your teeth and devour you completely.
Your hands instinctively find their way into his hair, tangling in the soft strands as his grip on your waist tightens just slightly.
He groans and leans back, leaving to you chase his lips.
"I need to see you," he sighs, a hint of annoyance laced into his voice as he pants in the space between you. You feel your face flush red as you struggle to think of an answer, and ironically a lightbulb goes off in your head.
“When one of your senses is lost, the others are heightened,” you whisper to yourself, and you can almost picture Juyeon looking at you in confusion.
“I- what?”
“It’s something I wrote a paper on back in undergrad,” you chuckle, looking towards him and smiling. “When you take away one of your senses, all of the others become sharper. It’s why blind people have excellent hearing.”
“Well I can hear you just fine but…what does that have to do with-”
“Touch me.”
You realize how ridiculous that sounds the second the phrase leaves your mouth, but the man in front of you doesn’t falter at all. All he does is laugh, which ignites something hot in your stomach.
“Not like that, but…” you laugh, pulling your thoughts together. “Try to see me…you know. With your hands.”
“See you with my hands…” Juyeon chuckles, but he does what he’s told, and your skin erupts with goosebumps as he trails his hands upwards, sliding up your sides and over your stomach. Your stomach is doing flips as they move to your rib cage and slip around to your back, warm and solid pressure against you.
And you wonder if he can feel the heat on your skin through your clothes, or if it’s just you, devastatingly aware of how every cell inside your body is burning like blue flames.
And yet, you wish there weren't any added layers between his skin and yours.
He slides his palms over your shoulders, seemingly avoiding a specific area he so desperately wants to come close to. He feels your ribs, your waist, your hips, and makes his way back up to your shoulders without nearing the valley of your breasts even once.
You hear him gulp and feel his hands stutter as a voice calls from outside. "3 minutes!"
"Oh, for God's sake, Juyeon." Your place your hands over his and bring them to your boobs, squeezing slightly to encourage him to do the same.
"Oh, my God…" Hyper aware of the fact that time is running out, he throws caution out the window and begins squeezing your soft flesh, letting his thumbs roll over your nipples as his jaw goes slack.
You take the opportunity to find his lips again, kissing him with newfound passion as he fondles you with no hesitancy, causing you to let a whimper or two slip out between breaths.
“Juyeon,” you gasp breathlessly as he squeezes you harder. He groans, kissing you deeper before pulling away, panting harder now.
“God, you’ll drive me crazy if you keep that up,” he nearly whines, seizing you by the hips and pushing you into the door before his hands find your collarbones. “Can I-”
“As long as you don’t leave a mark,” you whisper out breathlessly, and lips are on you not even a second later, not bothering to waste time on your neck.
His hands travel lower, seeming to search for the neckline of your top, and he groans again as his lips follow his fingers to the low-cut fabric.
“Maybe it’s a good thing that I can’t see you,” he mouths against the swell of your breasts, kissing whatever skin he can touch without undressing you as you clutch to his arms, digging crescent moons with your nails into his biceps. “I don't think I’d be able to keep my hands off you.”
“I wouldn’t want you to,” you gasp and bite your lip, trying your hardest not to moan as he squeezes you hard, followed by another brush of his thumbs over your nipples.
“Good,” he chuckles, before reaching past you and twisting the lock into place just as the faint sound of an iPhone timer going off can be heard through the door.