A prompt hey Lisa... Hmmmm - how about stucky (shock horror), and Bucky always waits until Steve is out of the apartment before grabbing the hoodie Steve wore all night and putting it on so he's enveloped in Steve scent... until one day Steve comes back early because he forgot something - only to find Bucky in his clothes...
Hey Kel! This was sadder than I wanted it to be, sorry. Thanks so m in for the ask and the prompt. 💕
As soon as Bucky heard the door click behind Steve he clambered off the couch and made his way towards his and Steve’s walk in closet. The array of clothes were outstanding. Most days he couldn’t believe this was his life. Living in the twenty first century with Steve, open and happy and just normal. He blindly grabbed for his go-to hoodie from Steve’s side of the room. Bucky absentmindedly threw it on and made his way back to the couch to resume his lazy day. He just wanted to be engulfed in the warmth of Steve, the smell, the comfort of his love. He’d been doing this for close to a month now. As soon as Steve left to do whatever Steve did all day with Sam and Natasha, Bucky would grab the same hoodie and put it on. No matter the weather or what Bucky had planned for the day. Mostly he just stayed home and got himself acclimated with the new world around him. Despite whatever he was doing or what was happening, being engulfed in anything that reminded him of Steve was necessary.
The comfort was getting him through the hardest of days he encountered. Days when he was only coaxed out of bed by soft kisses to his forehead and whispered words into his bare shoulder before the sun even rose. The first time he put Steve’s hoodie on was when there was a chill in the air and he was cold. He went and grabbed the first thing he had seen lying on the bed. Now it had become his thing, his go to item of clothing once he was alone. As soon as he heard the click of the lock coming from the front door, Bucky made it his mission to search and put on the item. The chill in the air ended but the chill in his brain always remained. The memories of his time under HYDRA would slowly seep back into the forefront of his mind at the worst times. The soft cotton around him, the smell of Steve, of home always brought him back.
The hoodie wasn’t anything special to look at. Too large for him, the arms too long, but it was all Steve. Simple and gray, the drawstring around the neck a bit frayed. But it was home. It was warmth in every sense of the word. When Steve was gone all day on a mission in another state, it was his security blanket. When whatever he was watching on tv, it was his tissue. He didn’t dare throw it in the laundry to be washed. He had memorized the time Steve usually came home, so half hour before he was set to arrive Bucky would reluctantly hang it back up until the next morning.
Today wasn’t any different. The hoodie was safely wrapped around him as he delved into today’s activities. Make some coffee and breakfast, get accustomed to his new cellphone. Luckily Steve had set it up for him prior to giving it to him. All his contacts were in place. It was a great way for Bucky to stay connected, but on his own terms. Learn about the world around him, but only when he was ready. Today Bucky was just going to lounge around and have a lazy Wednesday he desperately needed. Another nightmare ridden sleep kept him up most of the night, with Steve reassuring him that he was okay and safe and most importantly loved. He wanted to just snuggle in his hoodie and do absolutely nothing all day. Stress and anxiety free until he heard the all too familiar clock of the front door being unlocked. He froze in place, a deer in headlights.
“Buck?” Steve’s voiced echoed through the apartment. “Bucky?”
Bucky didn’t know what to do. Should he run? Throw the hoodie off and discard it like trash? How was he supposed to explain to Steve that he was standing in the kitchen half naked.
“Buck,” he called to him softly, walking into the room.
“What are you doing here?” He asked, finding his voice under all his anxiety.
“Forgot my wallet,” he laughed, patting his back pocket for emphasis. “Buck is that my-“
“I know,” he sighed. “Pathetic, right?”
“What? No!” He told him, walking the few feet to bridge the gap between them, his hands instinctively going to Bucky’s hips. “Never.”
Bucky ducked his head in embarrassment, cheeks feeling hot and turning red. He lifted his head up once Steve placed a simple finger underneath his chin. “Steve, I-“
“Talk to me,” he calmly urged him. His blue eyes were trained to Bucky’s gray ones the moment they met. “Don’t hide, don’t be ashamed.”
“It feels like home,” he croaked out, his mouth feeling raw and dry like he’d been crying for hours. “Like you.”
“That’s okay,” Steve assured him, applying a bit of pressure to Bucky’s hips as a reminder that he was still there. “Anything wrong?”
“You’re gone all day,” he replied with a sigh. “I’m here, alone. Alone with this new world and my thoughts and all I do is remember and wait.”
“Bucky,” he said his name softly, like a secret prayer between the two of them. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
Bucky sighed and his shoulders slumped at the term of endearment. He let himself be pulled closer to Steve by his hips. They were pushed close together, a feeling of comfort and safety.
“You can always talk to me,” Steve told him, placing his chin on the top of Bucky’s head as the older man buried his head into Steve’s chest. “Always.”
“I’m sorry,” he cried softly into his chest, holding back the sob that desperately wanted to escape his lips. “I’m lonely and afraid and alone and a mix of emotions I can’t even put into words. This stupid old, smelly hoodie is the only thing keeping me from going backwards when you’re gone. It encompasses you when I need you. The softness, the smell, the Steve of it all.”
Steve gently rubbed along Bucky’s back as he spoke, a physical reassurance that he was there, always. “I should be the one apologizing. I’m gone while you’re still recovering. We all heal differently and I didn’t tune it to your needs properly. I’m here, Buck. What do you need?”
Bucky sniffed once more into Steve’s chest before moving his head up to look at him. “Stay. Do nothing with me. Cuddle. Play hooky. Nat and Sam can handle all the bad guys for one day.”
“Done,” he firmly concluded. “Now come, let’s get you feeling better.”
