Holistic Health & Body Image
Tumblr has twice refused to reblog a post by kate-windsor for me. Luckily I copied my text because it was the third post of mine that disappeared into a black hole today. Grrr! In short, a young woman was seeking advice following a comment by a boy which stirred up her body image insecurities. Kate asked for additional feedback so here’s mine:
I think your advice was spot on Kate. Her body is healthy but her mind is running wild with insecurities, which is pretty normal. To your young correspondent, I would add; we are all guilty of getting obsessed with what our bodies LOOK like, instead of what they can DO, how healthy they are. We focus too readily on our outer shell, instead of the many traits that make up the unique individuals that we are.
We forget that people who know and love us see us as total human beings, not the parts. If someone is mean and full of hate, they become ugly, no matter how beautiful their physical features are.
When someone lumps their own self-hate and insecurities on to you (as we see with pitiful anons on Tumblr), it is like they are putting a turd or a rotten egg in your pocket. You’re walking around carrying a stink that doesn’t belong to you. Don’t hold on to it, throw it away, it’s not yours and you don’t want it. (Take a leaf out of Kate’s book; she deals with smelly anons with self-confidence and grace, knowing she is happy with herself and her goals.) Of course we all have parts of ourselves we are unhappy with, but I try not to mention mine, and, let’s face it, little perceived faults are not important in the grand scheme of things.
So focus on yourself as a whole person, look after your body and praise it for all that is does for you every day. Be kind to it. (I always think about how we neglect our poor feet which work so very hard!) And if it makes you feel good to work out and build muscle, do that and celebrate your new strength and how much more you can do with it. But also focus on your mind and spirit too; build and strengthen those parts of yourself. Seek help - none of us is an expert in all things, especially when we are young and inexperienced.
And for what it’s worth, without being there, chances are the boy meant it as a compliment (how could being called ‘buff’ not be a compliment?) The ‘no offense but…’ part was probably a sign of nervousness. Also, he was probably worried that you might take offense because so many girls just want to be skinny! My daughter had an older brother to translate guy speak, so when one of his mates called her a ‘beast’, she went, “Hell yeah!” (fist pump) and took it for the praise it was.
