Just For A Picture
Pairing: WandaNat x Reader
Words: 2.6k~
Summary: Based on the song Smile by Morgan Wallen
Warnings: grab your tissues my friends, depression, anxiety, all the sad feelings, I wrote this instead of sleeping and haven't proof read it, so there are probably many, many errors
A/N: I actually listened to the lyrics of this song for the first time, and they hurt my feelings. Jokes aside, idk if this is how he meant to write the song, but I heard it and thought, "that's exactly what it feels like to love someone with depression." The song got stuck in my head, and... well... this happened. It was actually really cathartic to write. I hope you enjoy!
When you began getting ready for the party, they were surprised...
...pleasantly.
Natasha and Wanda share a small smile before continuing their own prep. Wary that a larger reaction may cause you to change your mind.
Yesterday, you had told them you would go to the party, but they weren’t sure if you would still feel the same today.
It had been so long since you had gone out with the team.
You’ve been able to keep up with training and missions for the most part, but everything else is just too much. Socializing, exercising, cooking, chores, bathing, eating, even getting out bed some days just seems impossible.
The last few months being the worst you’ve had in a while.
The team does all they can. Your girlfriends most of all. They try to take as much of the burden for you, but they know there are some parts of this they can’t take from you, no matter how much they wish they could. So, they do what they can and enjoy whatever moments they are able to share with you.
Which is why tonight means everything to them.
I can’t remember the last time you looked as happy as you did tonight.
The team has the entire place to themselves.
Carol is on Earth for a few days, and Tony had bought out the entire bar to celebrate.
Wanda and Natasha stand with you at a table to the side of the bar. Each of you have a drink in front of you, even if you hadn’t taken a single sip of yours.
They can tell your uncomfortable, but you’re trying.
For them, right now, that is enough.
“Thank you for coming out with us tonight,” Wanda wraps a careful arm around your waist.
Natasha reaches across the table to take one of your hands in yours, “we’re so proud of you.”
You give them a smile that doesn’t come close to reaching your eyes and bring your glass to your lips.
“What are you doing all the way over here?” Carol asks, coming up and wrapping an arm around your shoulders.
“Just a little quieter,” you answer her with a small smile.
The blonde steps away from the table pulling gently on your arm, “come take a picture with me?”
You give a quick glance to your girlfriends, before allowing yourself to be pulled away.
Your tipsy friend grabbed that bar tender, gave him her phone and pulled you over there with her.
Carol hands her phone to the guy behind the bar and pulls you close to your side.
You’re not particularly fond of pictures, but seeing as she is your best friend, you oblige her. You ready yourself to make your best fake smile.
As the bartender holds up the camera, Carol whispers a joke in your ear.
... and for the first time in a really long time, a genuine laugh bubbles up from your throat.
He counted to three, and baby I haven’t seen that side of you in forever.
From the table, your girlfriends watch as the two of you pose. They know you dislike photos, but they also know Carol, as your best friend, is capable of talking you into doing anything.
They watch as the bartender counts 1...2... You smile.
Most people would probably think nothing of it. They would see that smile and think you’re the happiest person alive.
But not the two of them. They know you. They know that smile. They know it's the mask you put on when that's the best you can do.
Just before he gets to 3, Carol says something they can’t hear, then the most beautiful sound cuts through the air.
A laugh.
Your laugh.
Your real laugh.
The bartender snaps the picture and captures you smiling ear to ear.
A smile they barely remember but still takes their breath away every time they see it.
Natasha and Wanda relish in the sight. The concern ever present in their chests lifting, if even for a second.
I hate it's the truth, but baby you never do when we’re alone together.
As the night goes on, the weight on Natasha and Wanda continues to lift as you become more yourself then you’ve been in months.
You don’t order your own meal, but you help both Wanda and Natasha finish their plates.
You even take up Yelena’s offer to taste her mac ‘n cheese. Normally the blonde would never share with anyone, but you having any kind of appetite is more than worth it for her.
You tell Carol about the new book series you’ve read since she was last on earth. She makes you pinky swear to let her borrow them before she has to leave again.
You playfully debate over the correct order to watch the Star Wars movies with the guys.
You roll your eyes when Clint and Kate let you win a game of darts.
It takes a couple drinks, but they are eventually able to get you on the dance floor for a bit.
When the dj slows the music down, Wanda and Natasha wrap their arms around you and sway softly to the music.
“Are you having a good time?” Wanda asks gently.
You nod your head with a smile. The alcohol has turned your brain a bit fuzzy. The thoughts that normally cloud your consciousness are quiet. You feel like you can relax. ... like you can breathe. It’s not weighing you down. It's not unbearable.
“Are there plans for tomorrow?” you ask quietly, resting your head on Natasha’s shoulder, feeling just a bit sleepy.
“Do you want plans?” Natasha answers your question with a question of her own.
You don’t answer verbally, only nodding.
“Ok,” you can hear the soft smile in Wanda’s voice, “what about brunch and maybe a walk in the park?”
“Does that sound good?” Natasha asks.
Again, all you give them is a nod, this time with a smile to accompany.
They share a look full of relief and hope.
Relief that you have this break from the demons in your head.
Hope that better times may finally be on the horizon.
It was good to see you smile. Girl, you know it's been a while.
Natasha had woken first like normal. She slid out of bed, kissing both yours and Wanda’s heads without waking either of you.
Her regular morning run seemed so much lighter today, like she had an extra pep in her step.
She knows the culprit.
You.
You at the party last night.
You agreeing to go out with them today.
You finally coming back to them.
This wasn’t the first depressive episode you’ve had since the three of you had been together, but it was the longest.
They know this mental illness isn’t you.
Just a thief.
A thief that comes and takes your joy. Takes you from them for a time.
They know this. They know all they can do is love you in every way they can, until the thief releases you again.
They take advantage of those times. Cherish them, every second.
When she returns to the compound, Natasha pulls out her phone. She calls your favorite brunch spot, making a reservation for three at your favorite table by the window.
She ends the call just as she reaches the door to your shared room.
She opens the door as wide as the smile on her face.
She’s met with a look of despair on Wanda’s face. Her green eyes are glassy as her arm wrap around you. Your face is buried into Wanda’s chest. Your hands gripping her night shirt. Your shoulders shake tremble with the sobs you struggle to restrain.
Natasha’s smile falters as reality sinks in.
The thief had returned.
They say a picture’s worth a thousand words, but you ain’t said one since you woke up.
Wanda shushes you gently, rocking a bit, rubbing your back. Anything she can to bring you even the smallest bit of comfort.
Natasha lays behind you wrapping her arm around your waist, “no spoons?” She uses the same analogy you had when you explained your depression to them the first time.
You shake your head as a shaky breath claws its way down your throat.
“That’s ok,” she comforts, “I’ll go steal some for you.”
You chuckle lightly at her usual response. She knows it's not that simple. If only it were, you would never know a moment’s misery.
But just knowing she’s here, that they're both here is enough for now.
Silly me, thinking we could make it work, but can you blame me for getting my hopes up?
Wanda holds back tears as she holds you together in her arms.
The thoughts in your head are too loud for her to block out, and they tear her heart apart. The way you think about yourself.
She’d give anything to take them from you, especially because she can. Her powers give her that ability, but it would require her crossing a line she doesn’t have permission to cross. So she won’t.
But it take everything in her not to. Especially after last night. The glimpse. The reminder of life when you aren’t being weighed down by the demons in your head.
When you get to be happy again.
You know it took me right back to how it used to be.
Wanda and Natasha step into the kitchen. They didn’t want to leave you by yourself, but you assured them you were ok. You just wanted a minute alone, and they should go eat.
“Morning.” Steve raises his cup to say hello.
Natasha heads for the coffee maker, while Wanda goes to the fridge gathering a few ingredients for breakfast, “good morning.”
“Is Y/n coming down?” Yelena asks. Everyone’s eyes turn to Natasha and Wanda, hopeful.
Neither can bring themselves to voice it. They glance to each other for a moment, before Wanda gives them a tight-lipped smile followed by a shake of her head.
A collective sigh of disappointment settles over the group.
There’s a sweet sadness they feel together. They all miss her. She is their family. Without her, they feel like something is missing.
Last night, they felt complete.
“She did really good last night,” Clint says, sending Natasha a small supportive smile.
She nods, “she did.”
Baby seeing us like that, is still a little bittersweet.
“Hey, can I show you something?” Carol asks, sitting down while Wanda and Natasha began to eat their breakfast.
The pair nod and lean in as the blonde holds her phone, “I got a few pictures last night.”
As she flips through the pictures, tears gather in both Wanda and Natasha’s eyes.
First is the picture of you and Carol that the bartender took. Then a selfie of you, Carol and Pepper. A group shot of several of you around a table. You aiming a dart with Clint and Kate cheering you on behind you.
The last picture is of you, Wanda and Natasha on the dance floor during a slow dance. You’re standing in their arms. Natasha in front of you, Wanda behind. You’re laying your head on Natasha’s shoulder. Their heads are resting on yours.
They had no idea the picture was being taken, but you did.
You are looking right at the camera with the softest smile.
“I can send them to you if you’d like.”
Wanda quickly wipes away the tears that have fallen, “please.”
If someone were to see this, they’d think everything’s alright.
Wanda stares. She can’t stop.
Everyone else has finished breakfast and left the kitchen. The only one with her is Natasha who is cleaning the dishes.
Wanda stands at the counter holding her phone in her hands. The last photo from last night fills her screen.
There’s an ache too deep for words that settles in her chest.
The aching wish that she could keep you in that precise moment the photo was taken.
There on the dance floor, between the two of them, with that smile.
Completely at peace.
No raging thoughts. No anxieties. No feelings of inadequacy.
The longer Wanda stares the stronger the ache gets. Tears fill her eyes until she can’t keep them at bay. Her lips quiver, and her face collapses in pain.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Natasha quickly wraps both arms around Wanda from behind, “I know, I know.” She tries to provide comfort as her girlfriends cries.
Wanda drops her phone onto the counter and leans back into Natasha, “I just want to help her.”
“I know.”
They both look down to the photo.
“I miss her.”
Natasha holds her closer, “me too.”
At least we got a pretty little moment frozen in time.
They returned to the room a little while later. After they had put themselves back together well enough to be there how you needed them to be.
They find you still in bed, curled up on your side.
“Can I lay down with you?” Natasha asks, wanting to respect your space if you still need it, but you don’t. You just need them.
You nod, and she curls herself behind you again.
Wanda kneels beside the bed with a bowl in her hands, “I brought some fruit if you think you’re up for it.”
You shake your head and just reach for her hand instead.
She sets the bowl on the nightstand hoping for better luck later. When she lays in front of you, you curl into her chest as her fingers card through your hair.
“I’m sorry.”
“For not eating fruit?” Wanda questions.
“You never have to apologize for that,” Natasha kisses your head, “we know you can’t control your appetite-”
“No-” you interrupt, “for being like this.” They try to hush you, but you continue, “for being sad all the time, and not being able to do anything. I’m sorry you have to take care of me. I’m sorry you have to see me like this-”
“Shhhhh, what do you mean see you like this?” Wanda takes your face into both of her hands. She brushes away your tears with her thumbs, “can I show you how we see you?”
After a moment of looking into one another’s eyes, you nod.
She gives you a kiss on the forehead, and suddenly you’re not in your bedroom in the compound. You’re at the bar from last night, but not in your perspective. You’re seeing through Wanda’s eyes.
You watch as Carol drags you away for a picture you don’t want, but then you watch yourself laugh, truly laugh, and you can feel Wanda’s relief in that moment. You watch as Wanda shows you the rest of the night. You can feel the way she delights in your happiness. You watch your friends gravitate towards you. The way they look at you. The love they feel. The happiness to just have you with them.
Then you’re on the dancefloor. The vision fades away and you’re left with Wanda’s feelings and emotions of holding you like you are the most precious thing there is left in this world.
“We love you so much.”
It was good to see you smile. Girl you know its been a while. It was good to see you smile.
They lay in bed with you all day.
They hold you as you doze in and out of sleep.
You always sleep more on your worse days.
So, they hold you.
Praying that at least in your dreams, you get to smile again like you did last night.
Even if it was, just for a picture.
a/n: how did I do? I know it's been forever since I've posted anything new. Of course I come out with an angsty heavy hitter lol thank you for reading!
