synopsis: Struggling artist Jungkook, who wants to be the biggest pop star, faces a dilemma when you come into the picture pregnant with his child: ruin his life or ruin his life. Which does he pick?
idol Jungkook x pr assistant reader.
warning (1): pregnancy, mentions of miscarriage or pregnany loss, degrading, mentions of sex.
warning (2): this story does not reflect what I think of Jungkook or his music, I don't own Jungkook, his concept, music or anyone else and are merely using their names.
songs: maria by Justin Bieber, billie jean by Micheal Jackson, the whole golden album by Jung kook but mainly, hate you, somebody, too sad to dance, shot glass of tears.
A/n (1): listening to hate you, somebody, too sad to dance, shot glass of tears, hits different for me, after writing this story.😭
A/n (2): I just wanted to get something out of for you guys and since some find pregnancy scary consider this my late Halloween gift.😂
wc: 8.3k words
[read under cut]
༻❁༺𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒆, 𝒂𝒎 𝑰 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏?༻❁༺
A scandal can make or break a pop star.
But if you handle it well, it can make you the biggest pop star and a hit song. Topping charts, starting a trend, leaving a legacy. Who doesn’t want that? Especially in a society that feeds on drama. It’s a guaranteed exposure. Everybody loves a good scandal, even better if it feeds on the downfall or action.
All the pop stars who’ve gone on to be big and legendary have done it. Michael Jackson with Billie Jean, Justin Bieber with Maria. Who is Jeon Jungkook to be an exception?
It’s like a ritual. If it happens to you, then you are guaranteed a spot at the top of the charts and awards. And that’s all Jungkook has ever wanted.
Being in the industry for a while with no breakout but recognition, it's getting frustrating. He knows he's got the talent, got the skill, got the looks. So he knows he can do it. Everybody tells him the same.
It’s not like he's a complete nobody. He has a good fanbase, but he wants to be more than just a popular local artist. He wants to be a global star. And what better time than this? At least that’s what his team says.
“Holy shit, Kook, you’re gonna be a star.”
“This is gonna get you on Jimmy Fallon, SNL, fuck... I need to prep your statements.”
In the studio at the final listening of the song, everybody congratulates him on a song they aren’t sure will succeed just yet. He better succeed with this; too much is at risk for all this to fail.
“Can’t believe that girl’s trying to baby trap you.” Everyone in the studio laughs, all except him and his sound engineer, Yoongi.
“Once we get the DNA test, we’ll know for sure... crazy bitch.”
At that, Jungkook lifts his head, not knowing whether to defend you or let it go. There’s no point in any of it.
“You okay, golden boy?”
Golden boy? That’s new. Yoongi teasing him too is weird; he rarely talks to the guy.
Jungkook forces a smile.
“I’m okay, just taking in everything.”
Yoongi nods, seeing through Jungkook, seeing everything everybody is ignoring. Fear, want, guilt. Guilt.
“This is gonna make you big, Kook.” Hyun-min, his manager, says holding his shoulder. Then he leans in to be by his ear. “It’s not your kid, Kook, it’s gonna be fine. Right?”
People only like you after a scandal if it’s not true, or you deny it real hard to the point of making people believe it's fake. And Jungkook can only do one of those. And either way, he’s damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t.
“Right.”
—
It all started when Jungkook invited you to a company party. He knew you didn’t like to go out much, but he promised he’d be there with you.
“Plus, your divorce just got finalized, right? Let’s go have fun and celebrate.”
It isn’t much to celebrate, but you did end up going. And it was just like you imagined: too many drunk people, loud music. Everywhere was uncomfortable to be at. Jungkook, seeing that, suggested you go to one of the studios he had a key for, and once in, he locked the door. No evil intentions, just to make sure no one came in and got the wrong idea.
Till this day, you don’t know whether to regret going to that party or be glad, 'cause the decision has brought you the best and worst.
“How’s work?” you ask once you settle in the producer chairs. You’ve wanted to sit in these for a while; turns out it’s nothing special.
“Could be better, but it’s alright.” He says, man-spreading on the couch and smiling as he watches you twirl in the chair. “Still working on the album.”
You twirl. “Can’t wait to hear.”
“Don’t know if you will.” You raise a brow. “I’m not really proud of it.”
“Why? You’re so good.”
Jungkook shakes his head. “It’s not that.” He sighs, trying to find the best way to say it. “They’re all just lifeless. No soul.”
You stop your chair to face him. “Kook...”
“I’m gonna tell Hyun-min to pause with the release.” He leans back, rubbing his face, and you catch a glimpse of his boxer band when his shirt lifts. You ignore it. “I need to go on hiatus.”
You frown when he says that.
All the time you’ve worked for Jungkook as a PR assistant, you’ve known him to be so hardworking he rarely took a break. And those sleepless nights are finally catching up to him now. And honestly, you do agree that he needs a break, and you’re excited to see him want it too.
Only thing worrying you is the sense of giving up you feel. You don’t believe he would, but seeing how many years he's worked hard and hasn’t made a hit song, you get the desire to.
Getting into the industry, you’ve realized that music becomes more than just making what you love. You have to make music that will keep funding your endeavours, that will show the company you aren’t a waste of investment.
“They’re saying if I don’t make a hit, I’m gonna be let go and owe them a bunch of money.”
“Oh my gosh, Kook...” you move to sit next to him, placing a comforting hand on his thigh.
“I don’t even know what I’d do if that happens. I just need a break to get myself together.”
“Yeah, you really do...” you just watch him, and eventually he opens his eyes to meet yours, and they stay like that.
“You’re the only fun person here.”
You chuckle. “You’re just talking.”
He laughs, and silence falls for a minute. In that silence, you both stare at each other, and you can’t help but think, what the hell are you doing so close to him? So you try to pull away, but he holds you at your wrist.
“Don’t go, I really need to be distracted right now.” His voice is low and lazy. You’ve never heard something so sexy.
Not knowing what to do, you just release an awkward laugh. “And how am I—” before you go on, he gets a call.
“Hey, Hyun-min.” He says. “I’m in the studio.”
“During a party? You better be making hits.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes, and you laugh.
“You alone? —No, no—laugh—don’t tell me I want to sit in those chairs in peace.” Jungkook doesn’t say anything and lets the older man talk to himself.
Eventually the call ends, and Jungkook’s back to staring at you.
“You’re gorgeous, do you know that?”
“Jungkook, please.”
“Didn’t want to tell you 'cause you had a husband.”
“Not a home wrecker, huh?” You both laugh.
He shakes his head. “Nope.”
You stare at each other, the air getting thicker by the second, and it gets thicker when he sits up, cups your cheeks, and leans in too close to your face.
“Can I kiss you?” He wasn’t sure if it was the right moment to do it, but had to try.
Maybe you should’ve pulled away and walked away.
But no, instead you leaned in and let him kiss you. And Jungkook wasn’t a half-job kind of guy. He had to have the full experience, and you let him. You wanted him to.
So from kissing on the couch to the wall, to stripping your bottoms and riding him and him having you on your back and fucking you till you both came, you did it all and tried it all. And you enjoyed every second of it.
That was until the door opened as you were getting dressed.
Hyun-min stared at you like a dirty rag. He stared at both of you like that. He didn’t say anything though, just watched you walk out hurriedly.
“While you’re here, I need to talk to you.” Jungkook says, collecting himself.
Hyun-min shuts the door. “Better be a new song idea.”
“Not quite.” The man doesn’t look happy to hear that, but he stays silent and listens. “I wanna delay the album release and take a hiatus.”
He knew the idea wouldn’t be received well.
“Delay?”
“Yeah, we need to scrap the whole thing actually. I hate the songs.”
“Are you insane? We need to get out music.”
“What’s the point if it’s shit.”
One thing Hyun-min couldn’t deny was that the album was shit. It lacked soul, lacked star power, and if Jungkook did release it, he would be more of a nobody than he was the day before.
So to scrap the whole thing and take a hiatus is what was done.
3 months.
During the first week of it, Jungkook called you every single day. He liked you. You were cool, and you liked him too, nothing you wanted to explore though. He was too fast for the kind of life you wanted to live.
All you’ve wanted in your life was to get married, settle down with a man, and have children. All you’ve ever asked for. And it's definitely not something Jungkook would do. He wants to be a star and stars do everything but settle down and relax.
But to be fair, you weren’t gonna have that life with anyone anyways.
“Are you feeling better today?” you laugh at the fact that he even remembers.
“Shouldn’t you be thinking of music, not talking to me every day?”
“You’re my inspiration.” You can hear that cheeky smile, and you can’t help but smile. It’s weird to imagine you being someone’s muse. You’re so boring. “Did you drink my soup like I said?”
You nod, and when you realize he won’t see it, you respond. “Yeah, but I still feel sick. Must be a stronger bug.”
Jungkook hums, getting worried. “You should’ve felt better either way; it always worked when my mom made it. Maybe I should get my mom to make it for you.”
“Meeting the parents already? Buy me dinner first.”
You both laugh.
It was fun between the two of you. Nothing was taken seriously, and nothing was expected.
The following weeks, you never felt any better. It got worse actually, the more you drank the soup.
“Try drinking it again.” You scrunch your face in disgust when your friend brings the bowl close to you. The smell of it making you want to puke.
You lean back into the couch. “I don’t know what to do. I can’t keep anything down.”
“Maybe we should go to the hospital.”
You do feel like shit, that’s for sure, but hearing someone suggest the hospital makes it feel too dramatic.
“I’ll be fine, Sohee.” You sit up, and the nausea returns, so you sit back. “I just need to rest.” With how sick you feel, you’re so glad Jungkook’s on a break too, 'cause you would die if you had to work in this condition.
For the 100th time in the day, your head is tucked into the toilet as you let out everything Sohee offered you, even the water.
“Yn, you look like shit, and I don’t like it.” Sohee says, concern written in every font on her face.
“I’m fin—” before you can even get words out, the puke leaves instead. “I’m not fine.”
You finally confess, and the waterworks begin. “What the hell is wrong with me? Am I fucking dying?”
“We need to get you to the hospital.”
On the way to the hospital, Jungkook calls you. “Hospital? Are you okay? Should I come?” You laugh at his concern. Well, you try to.
“I’m gonna be fine; you don’t have to come. They’ll probably just give me meds, and I’ll be all better.”
“I can still be there for moral support.”
He's so persistent. It’s a shame he wants to be a star; he would make such a great husband.
“I’ll be fine; I have my friend with me.”
Jungkook can’t argue much after that. You reassure him it’s nothing serious and you’ll be fine, and he relaxes as much as he can.
“Call me when you’re done, okay?”
You hum yes, and eventually end the call. You can feel your friend smile next to you, so you turn.
“What?” you ask.
“I can’t believe you have Jungkook calling your phone and worrying about you.”
Ah—you forget that he's famous and one of the most swooned-for guys.
“Yeah, just a boss worrying about a worker.” Sohee is your best friend, and you’ve told her a lot, but you just can’t bring yourself to telling her you slept with Jungkook. Multiple times.
“Didn’t sound like that.” You can’t and won’t argue. “Can you get me to meet him?”
—
The hospital smells sterile and like antiseptic; it all feels so clean you’re afraid to step anywhere unless necessary.
Cold air fills your lungs as you wait. You have no clue why it feels embarrassing to be sick, but it does. It feels like everyone around you is watching and shaming you for coming to the hospital. Especially seeing people who are clearly worse than you are.
“How long can getting an ibuprofen prescription be?” You mumble. Sohee sat next to you, waiting as well.
“Ibuprofen? Are you insane? You need something way stronger. Have you seen yourself?”
How bad do you look? Can’t be that ba—
“Yn Y/L/N.” A nurse calls out in the middle of your thoughts, and your heart leaps.
“Here.” You raise your hand.
“Come this way.”
Come this way? Shouldn’t she just give you the slip from the doctor and you should be on your way?
Anyway. “I’ll be back.” You tell Sohee.
“I’ll be here.”
Walking behind the nurse, you follow her to the doctor’s office, and in there you find the woman and sit.
“How are you?” she asks.
“Seeing that I’m here, I can’t be that well.” You joke, and she laughs. “I’m good.”
A silence falls, the room only being filled with the sound of her flipping through papers.
“We got your test back for your sample.” You nod, listening to her. “We didn’t find anything in your other sample, but your urine sample.” She says and pulls out a slip of paper, handing it to you.
You look at it, not really reading. You don’t understand any of it anyways. You look up at her. “And what’s the issue?” What’s all the fuss for an ibuprofen?
The doctor stutters a bit, expecting you to have caught on from the paper. But when she sees you haven’t, she says.
“Ms. Yn, you’re pregnant.”
And like a flood, everything comes back to you. You look back at the paper and finally read it. You’ve seen this many times; how did you not notice what it would be about?
Pregnant.
The paper said, and you feel weaker than you have ever have. It’s not possible. How?
“Are you okay?”
“Are you sure this is correct?”
“The test isn’t 100%, but it’s pretty accurate. If you want, we can do an ultrasound, but you’re only two weeks along, so not much would come up.”
You shake your head as tears flood your eyes. “I-it’s not possible though.” You chant to yourself. “I’m barren, I-I—”
The biggest reason your marriage ended was because you weren’t able to have children. You tried every single thing you could; you spent too much money on it too. Your husband was fine, so it was clearly a you problem. And he didn’t want to be with a woman who couldn’t give him that, so you split.
And you lived with it, lived with the notion that you will never be able to have children.
So looking at this paper... it has to be a lie. You cry. It’s all you’ve ever wanted, and you hate to get caught up in the emotions and later find out it was a false positive. But it’s the hospital; no way they have false positives.
With teary eyes, you look up at the doctor. “Am I really pregnant?”
The doctor nods. “In a month, you can come in for an ultrasound to be sure, that if you want to keep it.” She’s watching you and offers you a tissue. “Sometimes women aren’t able to get pregnant 'cause of stress, or the body rejects the sperm.”
You sigh.
Fuck, you’re really pregnant. You’re... wait... Jungkook. You slept with him the same time she said... fuck.
—
Crying into your hands and Sohee rubbing your back, you can’t help but think of what the hell is going on.
“He’s got some fucking golden sperm, huh?” Sohee goes in, forgetting she’s talking out loud. “One time and you’re already pregnant. Your ex tried bu—”
You cut her off. “Can you stop? I’m trying to think.”
After a bit more tears, you collect yourself and breathe.
“I have to tell him, right?”
Sohee is silent for a second, thinking as well. “Yes, but you don’t have to do it tonight.”
Fuck. You rub your face.
“I have to do it tonight, or I won’t ever.” That’s not possible; he’d eventually find out. Knowing Jungkook, he’d be at your door if you ignored him too much.
Before you can think further, your phone rings.
“Speak of the devil.” Sohee mumbles.
You thought you could do it, but no, you can’t. Instead, you let the phone ring until it doesn’t, and when it rings for a 4th time, you do the same. Sohee just watches, doesn’t push you to do anything.
He wants to be famous, wants to be a world-touring pop star, that’s not someone who wants to be told he’s gonna be a father. That could ruin him if it got out. Fuck. What is wrong with you? And in all of that, you still feel the flowers bloom in your heart when you think about the baby growing in you.
Jungkook: You’re ignoring me? Ouch!!
A call you can avoid and say you were busy, but a text is harder to, especially when he can see that you’ve already read it.
You: Sorry, got busy with somethings.
You: How’s the music thing going?
Jungkook: Honestly, I want to quit. Wouldn’t that be nice?
Why your heart jumps at the idea, you don’t know. Maybe it’s 'cause him quitting would mean a greater chance to have that life, have this baby with him.
Jungkook: Just kidding, I can’t quit. Worked too hard for this shit.
You laugh to yourself. What the hell are you thinking? Of course he’d never quit; you know that.
You: I’m glad.
All of a sudden, talking to him is a lot more awkward when hanging on to this secret.
Jungkook: Are you feeling better?
You: Yeah, weirdly enough. I told you I only had to rest.
Jungkook: You know your body best.
Even through text, you can feel the awkward silence of the conversation. What do you say next?
Jungkook: I’m at the studio right now, but I can drop by after. Anything you want.
No, no, no. Not drop-bys; he can’t see you now or ever.
You: No, I’m good. I won’t be home today anyways.
You: Going to Sohee’s.
You say before he even asks.
Jungkook: I can still drive you there.
Jungkook: Just want to see you for a bit, even 10 minutes.
10 minutes of nothing but fucking, but even though you’d want that, you can’t. You wouldn’t enjoy it.
You: No, it’s okay. Just focus on your creativity.
You: Gotta keep up that pop star image.
Jungkook: Always glad to have you to keep me in check.
You: Glad to be here.
Jungkook: Talk to you later then.
Now, now, now, now, now.
You: Btw, I’m pregnant.
You: And it’s most likely yours.
—
It’s been a week, and Jungkook hasn’t responded yet. You aren’t sure if you’re happy or upset by it. Well, at least he knows.
That day.
“I’m not here for long, just came to play around.” Jungkook says when Hyun-min questions why he's leaving.
The man sits on the couch next to Jungkook’s phone, which had just dinged, and not being able to stop himself, he looked.
Yn (PR): Btw, I’m pregnant.
Yn (PR): And it’s most likely yours.
Hyun-min knew what this meant and what needed to be done, but fuck, this is a lot of work.
You’re fired, that’s for sure. And for Jungkook, this could either ruin him or... honestly, this is gonna fuck his career so bad.
Jungkook takes his phone and before he can even open it to read the message, his manager speaks.
“Do you want to be a father?”
Jungkook laughs. His manager sounds so stupid right now. “Yeah, babies are cute.”
Hyun-min laughs. “And right now, do you want a child?”
“What the hell are you even asking me right now?” Jungkook laughs. “You sound ridiculous.”
Hyun-min lets out a bitter laugh.
“Of course I don’t want kids now. I want to be stable before that.”
“BINGO!!” Hyun-min lets out, startling Jungkook a little. “So if you don’t want kids right now, you have to fuck girls with a what?” He asks in a childish, mocking tone, and Jungkook starts to get a little annoyed. It’s only them in the studio, so Hyun-min yells all he wants. “You have to fuck girls with a condom. Or don’t fuck them at all.”
Jungkook still doesn’t get it, but what he does get are flashbacks to you, right on the spot where Hyun-min yells at him from—pussy laid out as he fucked you raw.
“Check your phone.”
Jungkook does, and his heart drops immediately.
You’re pregnant.
Hyun-min lets out a laugh in Jungkook’s face. “Did she sign an NDA?”
Jungkook doesn’t want to, he’s embarrassed to, but he never thought anything like this would be necessary 'cause he never thought anything like this would happen. You work in PR, so you should know what this would do to him. Surely you wouldn’t let this leak.
He’s not ready to be a dad.
“Fuck, Kook, what the hell were you thinking?”
Jungkook hasn’t thought much of late; only thing he can think of is that his music sucks and he needs to fix it. But now, this...
“Fix it. And tell her HR’s gonna fire her anyways, so she shouldn’t come in.”
—
“It’s kinda weird though...” you start pacing Sohee’s kitchen. “He should have at least texted something, anything. I just need to hear something from him.”
The pan sizzles as Sohee adds some water to the vegetables on you. She goes on to add spices, and you feel like you can smell every single herb used.
“Do you want him to be in its life?”
You freeze. You’ve thought about it on the lines of the facts, but you haven’t really asked yourself if you could, if you’d want Jungkook in its life.
You’ve always wanted a partner so the child can grow with both of you, and so that you can have somebody 'cause you know pregnancy is one hell of a journey.
You would want Jungkook in the child’s life.
“I mean—” before you can finish, your phone dings, and when you check it this time, it’s not some random social media notification. It’s a text. A text from Jungkook.
You open it.
Jungkook: Are you keeping it?
You freeze. No hi, no hello, no how are you. The text is just dead. And you can feel it.
Jungkook: Are you sure it’s mine?
“Fuck, just ignore him; don’t respond.” Sohee says angrily. And you get her; you’re angry too. Is this all he says after all this? After ignoring you.
You: Haven’t slept with my ex for a year, and you were the first I slept with after the divorce.
You: So it’s yours. I’m sure.
You hate that you have to explain yourself. You don’t dare explain your difficulty in conceiving and how you just suddenly got pregnant for him. He doesn’t need to know that, and from the energy, you just know he won’t care. Like the Jungkook you thought would care.
You: We fucked raw too, so...
Jungkook: Okay.
Jungkook: So are you keeping it?
You’ve thought about it? Would it be worth it to have a baby for someone who probably doesn’t want you to? Someone who wants to live the fast life. If you did, then your child would not have a dad, unless otherwise. But again, if you aborted this baby, what are the odds you’d get lucky and get pregnant again?
This biology thing is frustrating. You can swear your doctors said you would never be able to have a child, but here you are.
During your early days, you did get pregnant, but God forbid the child reach 6 weeks. So after so many struggles with your uterus, it eventually gave up, and even if you wanted to, you couldn’t get pregnant.
This is all you’ve ever wanted. How can you give this up?
You: Do you want me to keep it?
Jungkook slouches his back. What the hell does he want?
Jungkook: Just answer the question.
His text stings your heart, your eyes too, but you wipe them. This isn’t good for the baby.
Instead, with all the confidence you can fathom, you text back.
You: I’m keeping it.
It’s quiet for some time. It’s always quiet when texting someone, but the silence from him is loud.
Jungkook: Is that what you want?
You’ve thought about so much that the answer is second nature.
You: Yes.
His text comes in instantly, like he had it written out already.
Jungkook: Good.
Jungkook: I’m happy for you.
He’s what?
You: That’s it??
Jungkook: The company’s threatening me.
Your heart freezes. Fuck. Is this because you’re pregnant? How do they even know?
Jungkook: They’re saying if I don’t drop a hit, they’ll cut me.
Jungkook: Bringing much money to them so keeping me will be more of a loss than cutting me.
You: Shit, I’m sorry, Kook.
Now you feel like an ass for all this.
Jungkook: It’s okay. Only over a decade of my life will be to waste.
What do you even say? How do you even address the elephant in the room? Well, maybe if he gets let go, he can’t be a father to the child. He doesn’t seem so upset by it.
You: It’s gonna be okay.
You hope he catches the double meaning to that.
Jungkook: I hope.
“Fucking hell, Jungkook, what now?” Hyun-min seems to get angrier about all this the more he sees Jungkook. “This isn’t gonna be okay. Who the hell do you think wants to support an idol who’s got kids? For fuck’s sake, you’re almost 30. You’re fucking with your luck. You’ve actually fucked it.” He shakes his head, mumbling something about Jungkook being lucky he’s attractive and fit, and that’s the only thing keeping him popular-ish.
It stings.
“It’s fine. Yn isn’t that type of person. She won’t say a thing.”
He lets out a mocking laugh. “You don’t know women, do you?” Jungkook doesn’t answer the question 'cause he doesn’t need to know women; he needs to know you. And he does. Probably. “She could sense you were going to be a star—if you’d dropped your album—and she wanted a reason to latch onto you.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes.
“But it’s fine. You aren’t gonna be shit now. At least I can focus on other people.”
“Why do you even come to the studio sessions, Hyun-min?” Yoongi says before Jungkook can. Even though his manager is older, Yoongi doesn’t really care; this is his studio anyways. He’s doing Jungkook and the company a favour. Plus, he’s told him this before.
“Whatever. Go ahead and produce nothing as usual.” Hyun-min mocks, but Yoongi’s eyes stay on his computer, not turning once. The man turns to leave, but before he does, he adds, “I sent her an NDA. Get her to sign it, or this thing’s done.”
Jungkook almost leaps at the man from his seat. Why the hell would he do that??
And like clockwork, he gets a text.
You: An NDA? Really?
You: Should’ve guessed.
He can’t respond. What does he even say?
“He sent you a fucking NDA??” Sohee shouts in shock. You don’t say anything; haven’t said anything in a minute. Mainly because you’re waiting for your friend who’s a practicing lawyer to read it and tell you what the hell to do. “He’s a bitch. To think I bought his freaking album. Ugh...”
You rub your sort-of-existing belly while waiting for Jimin to finish. Stress isn’t good for you in these trying times. You really don’t want to lose this baby.
“They’re trying to shut you up real bad.” Jimin says, lifting his eyes off the paper. You all watch him anxiously. “Like 100% silence. They want Jungkook nowhere near the baby’s documents. You literally erase the idea that the child had a father.”
“It’s fine. I don’t want him anywhere near anyways.” If he’s gonna act like this anyways, what’s the point of him being part of the child’s life?
“Don’t rush, Yn.” Jimin says, watching you get aggravated. Sohee rubs your shoulders with a pout of sympathy. “It’s for the rest of the child’s life.”
Your eyes widen. “Is that even legal?”
“Sounds like bullshit.” Sohee announces.
“If you sign, then it is.”
You honestly would hate to take it there. If he doesn’t want to be in the child’s life, then it’s fine. You’ll manage. You’ll get a job soon and earn from there.
You aren’t gonna make this difficult.
Jungkook: Good. Don’t sign it.
You: I don’t get it. You want me to sign it or what?
Jungkook: Hyun-min sent it without letting me know.
You: And you don’t want me to sign it?
Jungkook: No.
You don’t respond. Mainly 'cause you’re too afraid to ask. But he does anyways.
Jungkook: I’ve always wanted a kid, Yn. Though this may not be ideal, it must mean something right? This child must mean something.
Honestly, you’d been thinking the same, and hearing Jungkook say it gives you hope.
Jungkook: And seeing I’m gonna get fired anyways, I might as well pick another life path.
You: We sound like second options.
You don’t see it, but Jungkook laughs.
Jungkook: You’re an option that’s for sure.
Hyun-min’s on Jungkook’s neck for the nth time in the studio. And this was supposed to be his hiatus; he’s gonna need a hiatus from his hiatus.
“I’ll handle it.” Is all he said to the nagging man, but he’s not gonna do shit. Honestly, he thought today would be his last day, but for whatever reason, he keeps giving him chances, and Jungkook keeps taking them.
“How’s the track?” Jungkook asks, pacing behind Yoongi.
“How are you?”
Jungkook runs a hand through his hair. He’s fine.
“I’m okay, just worried about the track.”
Jungkook hums.
“A track will be a track. A good singer can make a bad track sound good, but no track can save a bad singer.”
Jungkook laughs even though he should be listening carefully.
“Are you sure you should be a producer?”
Yoongi cracks a smile. “I get more unsure by the day.”
You aren’t sure if it’s the pregnancy hormones or whatever the hell is going on with Jungkook, but you’ve been crying like a bitch of late, and what makes it worse is that you’re alone for most of it. You don’t wanna tell your family; Sohee has a life. You’re alone basically. And it sucks.
“I wish you would just fucking talk.” You say, looking at the 3-month-old fetus on the ultrasound pic.
Going to doctor appointments alone is even worse. Other women have partners or at least a friend. But nothing for you.
Just you and your healthy baby, which is all you could ask for really.
“But still, Mommy’s lonely.” You say, rubbing your belly soothingly.
“Even though life sucks for me, I’ll make sure it doesn’t for you, okay?” You wait for a response as if it’ll come.
2nd Trimester
Life is sort of back to normal for Jungkook at least. Tiny shows and interviews and appearances on YouTube channels. It’s all going okay except for the questions about his next album or song.
“When’s your next hit?” “Do you feel satisfied with where you are?” “Album when?”
The comments are even worse—ruthless. And you watch every single thing. How he stutters to answer.
“I’m working hard on it.” Is all he says.
But with nothing new that strikes the ear, it’s evident that his career is plummeting more. No invites to large events, no brand deals. Nothing. So any tiny project he gets to earn money, he does—money which doesn’t reach his pocket anyway.
It’s getting frustrating.
It’s when you’re lying in bed rubbing your growing belly when he calls.
You weren’t sure if you wanted to answer, but the text that came after you ignored his call made you pick up.
Jungkook: I need your professional help.
You sigh.
“Hi.” Is all you say, distant. The line is quiet at the other end, making you wonder if the call cut. But when you hear a sniffle, you frown.
“Jungkook, are you okay?”
You can hear him breathe. “I don’t know what to do, Yn. I’m fucked.” He starts, and you just listen. “The media’s on my neck, and my fans—haters—they all fucking hate me.”
“No one hates you, Jungkook.”
“Everyone hates me. You hate me.”
You suck in a breath. Do you?
“I’m really sorry, Yn. I’m such a horrible person to you, but—but I just need some help, advice from you.”
You honestly don’t want to address whether or not you hate him, so you skip over it and give him the advice he came for.
“How are the songs coming?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing feels right. It all sucks.” He breathes out a sigh of frustration. “I feel horrible 'cause Yoongi’s such a good producer, and I keep making him work for free.”
You hum, taking it in.
“I think you should get on a collab with someone, just for the meantime, just so that fans don’t think you’re doing nothing. Maybe remix one of your older songs. Just to keep your image up.” You sound nothing but professional, and Jungkook appreciates it, but he misses just talking with you.
“Sounds good. I appreciate it.”
You nod like he could even see it. It’s silent.
And just before you can go to say goodbye, he speaks.
“How are you doing?”
You freeze, a lump forming in your neck—one of anger or anxiety.
“I’m doing okay, Jungkook. How—I’m good.” Why is it so hard to talk to him all of a sudden?
“Good.” It’s silent again. “I was wondering if I could come over tomorrow and see you.”
Your brows rise. “Come to see me?”
“Yeah, you don’t know it, but you’re the only real friend I have.”
Why are you blushing? Fuck.
“Don’t let Yoongi hear that?” You joke to break the tension.
He laughs.
“He would agree.”
It’s silent again.
“Yeah, you can come over tomorrow.”
And when he did come over, you mostly sat in silence or talked calmly. It’s so awkward now.
But something new is how gentle and sweet he is all of a sudden. He was before, but now even more.
“Can I touch it?” He asks, eyes moving from your face to your belly.
You’d seen him eyeing your belly and wondered when he would ask.
“Sure.” You say, lifting up your shirt.
When both his large, warm hands move to cup your belly, your heart aches. 'Cause it just feels right, feels like it’s meant to be, but you know it’s not gonna.
Jungkook laughs. “There’s a baby in there.” He looks up at you with those puppy doe eyes for you to confirm. And when you nod, his smile widens.
“I’m sorry, baby. I couldn’t bring you anything. Your dad is broke.” You both smile, then at the same time drop it when you catch what he said.
Did he just? And did the baby just kick?
Jungkook pulls away to sit up. “I think I should let you rest and stuff.”
You nod, not wanting to disagree and seem needy for company.
“Okay.”
At the door, he says.
“I hope everything goes well.”
Not knowing what to say, you find it appropriate to just parrot him. “Hope everything goes well with you too.”
And just like that, he’s gone. You’re not sure when you’ll see him again or if you’ll ever. It’s best not to.
If he doesn’t want to be in the child’s life or isn’t sure, it’s better you don’t get attached.
Dad.
3rd Trimester
It’s a small event honestly. You don’t have that many people to invite. Just Sohee and friends you made at the company.
Your knife goes through the cake, and you try your best not to see the colour that’s on the knife.
After the second slice, you pull it up and a spurt.
It’s a girl—a baby girl. You’re gonna cry.
It’s when serving the guests food that the reality of it starts to sink in.
“Who’s the dad?” One of your colleagues asks innocently.
What do you even say? You can’t say the truth—God knows what that would bring you. So you lie.
When it’s all over, you do text Jungkook the gender. You’re not sure if you should’ve, but you do it anyways.
He doesn’t respond.
Your heart’s not broken. You’re fine.
Being in the 3rd trimester, which you never thought you’d get to, with the baby so healthy. You’ve been confident enough to post yourself on the internet. It’s not like anyone will know. Not like they can read your personal life just through the photo.
But when you wake up to many notifications, you’re confused.
That’s until you see why, and your heart sinks.
A fucking article.
“Failing star has been focusing on making babies not hits.”
What the actual fuck? When—when did this happen? Who? Who could tell?
God, you’re gonna be sick. You sit down, and then Sohee calls you.
“Yn, are you okay?”
How can you be? When everyone is speculating, stalking your social media, and connecting the dots that you worked for Jungkook and are now pregnant.
What the hell do you do? This isn’t what you wanted. You never wanted to be in the spotlight. It was never your intention.
How the hell did they get pictures of your gender reveal? Fuck.
—
“You’re a fucking moron, you know.” Hyun-min yells, and Jungkook says nothing, head in hands. “I told you she would do this. She’s not the type.” He mocks at the end. “You have no clue how women are. So now she’s trapped you, and you won’t have a career or money to even take care of the stupid kid.”
He’s right. That’s what Jungkook’s thinking. He won’t have money to take care of this child anyways. Fuck. He’s doomed either way.
How the fuck did this happen?
“Do you know who leaked it?”
Yoongi asks, and Hyun-min scoffs.
“You’re a fool too?” He turns his attention to Yoongi. “It’s Yn, of course.”
Yoongi ignores him and repeats the question to Jungkook.
“I don’t know. She had a gender party and whatever, so—I don’t know, man.”
It’s some weeks, and your due date is approaching quick, but with the way you’re feeling, you could have the baby today.
And the knock on the door is nothing that eases, and seeing who’s behind the door makes it worse.
“Hyun-min... what are you doing here?”
The old man doesn’t look like he’s here to congratulate you.
“Look, I’m not staying here too long. Just take the money and deny that the baby is Jungkook’s.” He hands you an envelope carelessly. You stare at him, then at it, and then back to him. “It’s $1,000. Jungkook’s gonna be in debt for it, so do the guy a favour and take it. I know it’s what you want.”
You freeze. “I didn’t want this or that.” You signal to the envelope. “You really think if I wanted money, I would choose Jungkook?”
That takes him aback, but his pride doesn’t allow him to be moved. “He doesn’t love you though.” He pockets the money. “The child’s gonna end up a bastard and fatherless anyways.”
“Please leave.” You demand.
He takes out another paper. “This is a court order for a DNA test.” You stare at it.
Hyun-min leaves, but he doesn’t believe you one bit. Either way, this rumour has to go away.
Stuck in your house, Jimin explains what you should do, and it’s not anything you didn’t know or was already doing anyways. But one struck a nerve.
“You have to cut Jungkook off completely. If they decide to take you to court, it can show that you really didn’t want anything from him.”
And cut him off is what you did.
He’s been vague and confusing to you, and if it’s not a yes, it’s a no. So that’s that.
It’s funny how when you ignore him, that’s when he contacts you the most.
Jungkook: Hyun-min visited you?
Jungkook: I’m sorry. I told him I would fix this.
Jungkook: Are you okay?
Jungkook: Are you ignoring me?
Jungkook: Yn, I’m fucking sorry, please.
Jungkook: Don’t ignore me.
Jungkook: I know you’re upset, and I am too. I hate myself for this too. But please don’t ignore me.
Jungkook: I want to be there for you. Please let me.
You freeze at that one, but no—he had 9 months to want to be there for you.
[blocked]
It’s been a week since you’ve been ignoring him, blocked him too. And he’s not the type to force it, so he accepts it. He can’t blame you though; he had 9 fucking months.
The news hasn’t gone down one bit. People are now naming you as the woman, and it makes Jungkook sick. But he can’t say anything yet. But behind closed doors, nothing is any better.
Hyun-min stands over Jungkook in Yoongi’s studio, where they always seem to be. “The label wants you to choose, so we can get out a fucking statement.” Hyun-min is calm today, showing how over and done he is with Jungkook.
“Your career with the company or the scandal.”
Jungkook should be offended that they’re making him choose. But he gets it—just like you wanted an answer from him, they need an answer too.
And he’d already failed one of you, so...
Decision made, but still not sure, Jungkook opens his mouth to speak.
“What if we made a song out of this?” Everyone goes silent, and Yoongi raises a brow. They all look at him like he’s insane, and he feels exactly like that. But ever since you blocked him, he’s been thinking about it. Popular Western artists have done it.
“I could make a song denying all this and saying I’m not the father and what not.” It would be better for you if he did so—you’d be safe, and that’s all he wants and can do.
Mind you, he’s not saying this excitedly. He says it as a drained man who has nothing to lose and has given up.
Hyun-min lets out a sudden loud laugh and clap, startling everyone.
“Now that’s what I’m fucking talking about. You’re a fucking genius, Kook. Get to working, guys.” He says excitedly. “Are you thinking of a music video?”
Jungkook looks at him like he’s crazy and shakes his head. Yoongi responds though.
“Just a song. We don’t want to look excited. We still need to respect Yn.” Yoongi turns on his laptop, and Hyun-min rolls his eyes at him.
“Just get to working on the hit, boys.”
Another week goes by, and your water breaks suddenly one night. Next thing you know, you’re welcoming your bundle of joy into the world, and for a moment, everything else stops to hurt. Pain turns into love, appreciation for this moment that you’ve craved for and begged for.
—
A scandal can make or break a pop star.
But if you handle it well, it can make you the biggest pop star and a hit song. Topping charts, starting a trend, leaving a legacy. Who doesn’t want that? Especially in a society that feeds on drama. It’s a guaranteed exposure. Everybody loves a good scandal, even better if it feeds on the downfall or action.
All the pop stars who’ve gone on to be big and legendary have done it. Michael Jackson with Billie Jean, Justin Bieber with Maria. Who is Jeon Jungkook to be an exception?
It’s like a ritual. If it happens to you, then you are guaranteed a spot at the top of the charts and awards. And that’s all Jungkook has ever wanted.
Being in the industry for a while with no breakout but recognition, it's getting frustrating. He knows he's got the talent, got the skill, got the looks. So he knows he can do it. Everybody tells him the same.
It’s not like he's a complete nobody. He has a good fanbase, but he wants to be more than just a popular local artist. He wants to be a global star. And what better time than this? At least that’s what his team says.
“Holy shit, Kook, you’re gonna be a star.”
“This is gonna get you on Jimmy Fallon, SNL, fuck... I need to prep your statements.”
In the studio at the final listening of the song, everybody congratulates him on a song they aren’t sure will succeed just yet. He better succeed with this; too much is at risk for all this to fail.
“Can’t believe that girl’s trying to baby trap you.” Everyone in the studio laughs, all except him and his sound engineer, Yoongi.
“Once we get the DNA test, we’ll know for sure... crazy bitch.”
At that, Jungkook lifts his head, not knowing whether to defend you or let it go. There’s no point in any of it.
“You okay, golden boy?”
Golden boy? That’s new. Yoongi teasing him too is weird; he rarely talks to the guy.
Jungkook forces a smile.
“I’m okay, just taking in everything.”
Yoongi nods, seeing through Jungkook, seeing everything everybody is ignoring. Fear, want, guilt. Guilt.
“This is gonna make you big, Kook.” Hyun-min, his manager, says holding his shoulder. Then he leans in to be by his ear. “It’s not your kid, Kook, it’s gonna be fine. Right?”
People only like you after a scandal if it’s not true, or you deny it real hard to the point of making people believe it's fake. And Jungkook can only do one of those. And either way, he’s damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t.
“Right.”
—
Two weeks later, you’ve just put your newborn to sleep and you’re resting on your phone, not fully healed, mind you.
You’ve been seeing that news that Jungkook had released a song, and you haven’t seen much of it. Honestly, you didn’t want to check it out, but the news is buzzing everywhere, and you’re curious.
You find it and play it.
The intro starts to play, and you have a bad feeling about it just from then. It was a catchy song—a good song—you knew Yoongi and Jungkook produced. Jungkook’s vocals are great as he hums.
But your heart sinks when the first verse ends and goes into the chorus.
It was the type of song that was so catchy, bright, and rhythmic that it distracted you from the truth and meaning of it all. The catchy lyrics distracted you from the truth in the words.
And it killed you to hear him say those things. It’s one thing to not want to be in the child’s life, but this song—this was something else. Something that made you feel like an idiot.
“It just had to be you, had to be you to fall and catch my vibe. I’m sorry you fell. But I won’t lie, girl that’s not my child.” No matter how many weeks go by, the lyrics cause you pain—physical and mental—and you feel angry at yourself for keeping silent. Jimin reached out and told you to be silent, and the DNA test was never sent out or demanded for. Because it is his child.
Interviews with big Western channels, talk shows with the biggest hosts, articles from the biggest magazines, performances, collabs. You don’t check them at all, 'cause you know they will only make you feel sick. He’s shown you his colours, and you don’t need anymore.
He’s gotten what he’s wanted—the big break he’s been looking for.
And the next thing you know, he has an album coming out.
GOLDEN.
The album he had archived to fix, the album he said didn’t feel right. You guess it feels right now. It has so much meaning now.
You’re sure you don’t want anything to do with him now. You don’t even feel bad anymore.
But you do hate having to be silent, so you’ll play along, 'cause all this time people haven’t let it go, and journalists have been on your neck.
So in a simple message to the internet, you say.
“The baby isn’t his. I have no clue how these rumours began, but the baby isn’t his, it was never his.”
Just how sick you were feeling, Jungkook feels the same when he sees it. What was he expecting? He deserves it.
But he’s hate to leave it like this.
So when he has the time, he reaches out in the worst way you’d want him to. Money. You don’t take it though.
Through Instagram.
Jungkook: I owe you.
You don’t even know what to think.
You: You don’t owe me anything. Go ahead and live the life you wanted.
༻❁༺𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒆, 𝒂𝒎 𝑰 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏?༻❁༺
So what do you think? I hope you liked it. let's chat about it 💬💬🥂
A/n: i like creating my own storyline for albums and then listening to it again, so this one was a tearful one. you should try it lol.
ciao, see ya when i see ya
I hope you guys don't let this flop, cause I spent a lot much time and blood working on this. Anyways I appreciate you guys. Thanks.
Every positive like, reblog and comment is appreciated.
my birthday is on the 5th (I'll be turning 20), so this is huge present to me cause I've really been not myself mentally, and life as such and I wanted to spend my birthday doing things I love and haven't been able to do (reading being one of them). Just trying to come back to myself, like Namjoon said.😊 So with the 3tan comeback. you're really blessing me, you just don't understand. I literally want to cry. *I cried*
3tan is a holy escapism, or coping mechanism for me.
and the fact that it's 30k?? OH YEAH, I'M ABOUT TO BE FEAST.
so, thank you so much Ryen. 3tan means so much to me, seriously and I'm so glad it has such a beautiful, kind and hardworking writer behind it.
I wish you the best in life and I hope you get blessed with everything you need and want in life.
I really appreciate your efforts to strive and still work on this piece of art. and whenever you feel down, I know I'm only one person, but I want you to know that you have really helped a random girl across the world and given me comfort on my hardest day, and motivation to work on my own writing and to honestly not give up. So just remember that there is someone out there who truly is appreciating any updates you give and your wellbeing.
thanks, much love Ryen❤️❤️❤️
oh…. oh my goodness i need to sit down😭
happy early birthday!! you deserve to be able to do the things you want to do and have the peace of mind you need. it’s your special day, after all! but obviously coming back to the real you doesn’t just happen overnight, so I’m sending you strength. it’s more of a journey, picking up the lost pieces one at a time until you realize that you got to where you want to be🫂 hoping you get there and cheering you on🤍
i’m honored because of your words and i’m forever happy to be with you. whether we have met or not, i’m so grateful for all of you here and all of the ones that were here before. things wouldn’t have ever gotten this far if not for you guys, so huge kudos are always in order. I’ll be thinking about you always🥹
but seriously, you guys are helping me, too. wherever you are in the world, i feel the love and support when it’s super visible (and in some cases, even when it’s not!) never ever taking this community for granted and all of the things i’m doing right now are for you.
synopsis: Struggling artist Jungkook, who wants to be the biggest pop star, faces a dilemma when you come into the picture pregnant with his child: ruin his life or ruin his life. Which does he pick?
idol Jungkook x pr assistant reader.
warning (1): pregnancy, mentions of miscarriage or pregnancy loss, degrading, mentions of sex. this story wrote itself so please don't be mad at me.😭 there is alot of lawyer talk too, so if you don't like that I'm sorry.
warning (2): this story does not reflect what I think of Jungkook or his music, I don't own Jungkook, his concept, music or anyone else and are merely using their names.
songs: maria by Justin Bieber, billie jean by Michael Jackson, the whole golden album by Jung kook but mainly, hate you, somebody, too sad to dance, shot glass of tears.
A/n (1): listening to hate you, somebody, too sad to dance, shot glass of tears, hits different for me, after writing this story.😭
A/n (2): got inspired by what you guys requested but I'll have to say I added my twist and drama, cause who doesn't love the mess, anyways...
wc: 10k words
[read under cut]
༻❁༺𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒆, 𝒂𝒎 𝑰 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏?༻❁༺
Jungkook’s career is going great. Everything that he wanted and wished for. Everything the company and his fans wanted of him.
With the amount of success he was able to attain, he finally paid his company debt, has fucking shares in the company too. Even if everything went south today he would be fine.
He’s finally moved into the mansion he’s been building since he got the money, and when you have money it doesn’t really take that long to build a house.
The attention that he gets now? He loves it, it’s all he's ever wanted. Makes all his efforts worth it, makes him not regret—
Women, he has many of those now, not that he indulges he’s still a respectable guy with morals, he’s only had one girlfriend since and things ended cause she never genuinely wanted him, but nonetheless he doesn’t sleep around. He’s no longer the same man but he is the same man to a degree.
He’s no longer the same man that was worried about what decisions to make or what would happen to him tomorrow. He no longer has to worry about money.
Just like he’s a different man in the money scope, mentally he’s something else too. Something darker and worse than he was. And that’s one of the things he misses about him before all this.
Alcohol.
That has been his only loyal companion in this darker industry that only got darker the higher he went. It’s a must for you to be an alcoholic at this point, if you aren’t you can't survive. He’s not crippled by it but it definitely has a stronger hold on him than before—because what else can make him forget who he’s left behind to get here, the things he’s done to get here.
What hurts him the most? No, what’s pissing him off the most is that you don't want to take his money and now he looks like the bad guy. He’s trying, he’s tried but you're so stubborn. You don't want his money, help, calls, messages or anything. You want nothing to do with him.
How can you not want anything to do with him? He's a fucking star and can make you live life 100x better, you and his baby.
How can you do this?
Everyone wants a piece of him but he denies them all cause he wants you, cause you have a piece of him.
A baby who he doesn’t know is still alive or even an idea what her names is.
Your daughter’s now approaching her 3rd year on earth. Eunji, a cute little girl with a big personality already and who makes you appreciate life every single day.
“Sing mommy sing.” She’d yell enthusiastically rushing to the spot where you hid the karaoke machine. No matter where you put it she will always know where it is.
When you shake your head she points. “You can't sing now baby it’s time for bed.” She’d then throw herself on the ground.
“Sing mommy sing.” She'd cry again and your heart aches. You just want to give her everything she wants. It's so hard to say no to her.
You wonder why the hell you bought the machine in the first place, you regret it.
You regret it even more when you watch her sing nonsense but so passionately, cause it reminds you of 1 person and makes you realize, no matter how much you try to lie and deny it she will always be his.
You also have a partner now, have had him since Eunji turned 6 months though you only began to date when she turned 1.
Taehyung was your friend back in the day but life came and went and so did your friendship, it's only when the Jungkook issue went viral that he finally knew where you were and reached out. And honestly he’s been the best thing that could’ve come out of this whole thing.
And somehow a romance sparked and you’ve now been together for 2 years and engaged to get married.
You were worried about getting into a relationship especially in your situation. You feared relationships wouldn’t last long and the last thing you want is to have men in and out of your life and cause Eunji a disoriented image of a father. You would never do that to her.
You were gonna be fine being by yourself honestly.
Taehyung understood your worry and made sure to tell you his plans and what he wanted for the 3 of you.
And so it was settled you were now a family. What made you the most happy is how Taehyung and Eunji got along, both accepting and loving each other instantly.
This is all you’ve ever wanted to, a partner who loves and cherishes you and your daughter, and a daughter who makes your life worth living.
It’s all been worth it. They're both the best thing that came out of that situation, the only things that kept you alive.
“Darling can you check on everyone, Eunji’s fussing about her hair.” You peep your head into the kitchen where Taehyung does the final touches to the birthday cake, he insisted the bakery didn’t get something right on her Minnie Mouse cake. “I want the best for my princess” he said to defend himself and your heart melted. how did you get this lucky.
“Sure I can’t do it? I’m good with attitudes.” He jokes and you roll your eyes.
“I’ll be okay just make sure you get some snacks out.” You say waving your hand around. “The cake is fine Tae, leave it before she notices.”
“Trust me if I don't fix it, she will notice.”
You scoff and go back to Eunji’s room.
Taehyung and Eunji are so close that you actually get jealous sometimes.
“Dada up, dada up.” She says raising her little arms for Taehyung to lift her, he immediately does and she’s giggling.
Your friends coo at the interaction especially Sohee. Happy to finally see her bestfriend with someone who cherishes her.
You all sing happy birthday to her and watch her smash her smash-cake and you just want to cry, like how? What luck did you have to get this child.
It’s when you’re done taking pictures and Taehyung's cleaning her up that someone you never expected to see walks up to you.
“Hey” the man says, and your eyes widen.
“Yoongi!” you exclaim not knowing where to put your mind. On one hand you feel the anger you felt return but on another you think otherwise. “How are you?”
“I’m okay, just busy.” He says and all you do is nod. Where the hell do you put your eyes. “You’re looking good.”
You chuckle nodding.
“Yeah finally happy.” it's kinda to throw shade but you're not sure you do it confidently.
“Good, happy for you.”
You both interact avoiding the bigger topic at hand. Yoongi is happy to see you happy, you deserve it. He won't lie and say that he’s innocent in all this but at the end of the day it was business and you really aren’t friends anyways, which begs the question...
“Why are you here?” When you say it you fear it comes out rude so you correct. “I just mean I never—”
He cuts you off with a knowing nod. “No I get it, didn’t think I’d be here too.” He starts and you listen closely, cause for you all you know he can be Jungkook’s ear but Jungkook doesn’t know the day Eunji was born so he wouldn't.
“Taehyung and I went to film school together, I dropped out though. But he reached out to invite me. I was shocked to hear he has a kid, but uhh...”
You just laugh it off and honestly that’s where the interaction ends, Yoongi hands you a gift for Eunji, you take it he says bye to Taehyung and watches how Eunji calls Taehyung dada, and that’s it you don't see him when handing out cake.
You can't help but think... he's gonna tell Jungkook isn’t he?
“You okay baby?” you’re startled when Taehyung speaks. You’d been doing the dishes mindlessly thinking... Taehyung can see it all written on your face and hates it. He moves in to give you a peck on the temple for comfort and as an opener for you to tell him anything.
“I’m okay.” You force out a smile. He doesn’t buy it.
But he just nods and moves to whisper by your ear. “We’ll talk when Eunji goes to bed, okay”
You don't want to talk though, don't even want to question him about Yoongi, you just want to continue forgetting.
“Is she even going to sleep with all that cake?” you finally smile trying to distract him and the tension.
Taehyung turns playfully to Eunji sat in her highchair smeared in cake after you had just cleaned her. “Are we going to sleep tonight with all that cake baby girl?” he asks in that baby tone and she giggles shaking her head.
“What are we going to do instead?”
Like clockwork Eunji’s clapping her hands and shouting. “Sing!! Sing dada.”
Taehyung and her both laugh excitedly and you shake your head.
“You’re supposed to be in bed though?”
Taehyung boos. “She's only 3 once, plus you can get some alone time while we sing.”
Honestly you need it, to just relax and detox from today.
You sigh accepting defeat it's 2 v 1, so you were bound to lose. “Fine but no more cake and you have to take a bath first.”
You move to try and pick her up but Taehyung stops you.
“It’s okay I’ll do it, you rest.”
God you’re so grateful for this man, you wish you had him during your pregnancy.
You wish you had anyone during your pregnancy.
-
“Jungkook, you can’t cancel an appearance just because you feel like it.” Hyun-min yells beside him. Why the hell didn’t he just fire the man? “This is your image.”
Like he doesn’t know? He doesn’t care—all he has in mind is what Yoongi had told him.
Jungkook sits up, elbows on his knees and head in hands, just processing everything. He looks up at Yoongi again, who’s sat in the producer chair working on a track.
“You’re sure she said dada? Cause you know kids that age just say rubbish.” He bargains with what Yoongi told him.
The man is over it at this point, he wishes he had recorded it and showed Jungkook, cause he can't keep reciting every fucking thing over and over, maybe he shouldn’t have told him anyways.
“She called the man dada, it's fine. Focus on the event at hand.” Hyun-min presses but Jungkook doesn't care.
“YN really has my child calling another man dada?” His teeth fall hard on his lower lip. The image just makes him sick, his obviously cute child calling another man dad? No that hits another nerve, a nerve that makes Jungkook go numb.
“Fucking cancel the event Hyun-min, say I was sick or whatever.” Jungkook starts pulling out his phone. “Yoongi I need that friend of yours’ number.”
Yoongi doesn’t look at him, just closes his eyes and sighs. If this is gonna get him to shut up then fine.
Hyun-min stands there confused but can’t say much cause it has reached that delicate point in his career that Jungkook could fire him whenever he wants.
Jungkook looks at the number and opens the chat. And with a heavy heart sends the text.
Jungkook: Heard your kid just turned 3, want to send you a gift.
Jungkook: It’s Jungkook, I'm sure you know me. I'm friends with Yoongi, you know him right?
Jungkook: Yeah, just want to send you and your wife? A gift send me your details, or call me.
Jungkook: Tell your wife I said hi too. And that I wish I could’ve come.
It seems desperate to send so many texts for a man his status. But he is desperate, desperate to have a channel to talk to his child through. It's one thing that you moved on but it’s another thing that you won't let him be there for his child but let another man do it. He’s so fucking willing to do it, to be there for you, to marry you, to be a family, to take care of his child and give you both a good future—all that he can do. But no you just want to make his life hell.
Jungkook, now finally home with a whisky in hand, notes down everything he’s learnt about his daughter. Her name, her birthday.
And to himself in the darkness of his home and heart and the emptiness of the alcohol bottle next to him, whispers. “Eunji...beautiful.”
It's when you’re gardening that you see a FedEx truck stop by your front gate and Taehyung walk out. You think nothing much of it, but when he pulls out a large box that needs a trolley to carry it to your doorstep you get confused. What the hell did he order? Especially in a time like this when you’re focusing on the wedding.
The box’s finally in the house and you watch unpack stuff and Eunji stands there asking questions that you ignore.
“What did you order?” you watch with raised brows.
“Nothing, it's a gift for Eunji.”
You’re taken aback even more, and you express it through laughter.
“Who the hell are your friends babe?” You wonder if you know the hidden life of him honestly, cause Yoongi and now this. “Cause this is a lot of stuff.”
You sit to pull out some stuff too. It's so much that you believe you're set for years to come, everything a toddler could need, clothes, books, toys, it's honestly so much that you start to feel bad.
“We should send them a thank you card oh my gosh.” You say pulling out some cute pajamas. For a minute you’d forgotten to ask. “Who sent them?”
Taehyung smiles and acts like he's keeping a big secret. “Well you know Yoongi right, the guy from Eunji’s birthday?”
You nod, how can you forget him? No really.
“Well he's a big time producer and has a friend.” Your heart sinks first before your smile. “You know that popstar, Jungkook or whatever?”
Your smile drops fully, your heart hoping and praying.
“He sent me a text and sent us these.”
You're gonna fall, no you’re gonna die. When you stand abruptly Taehyung freezes worried. Did he say something wrong?
You try to collect yourself before opening your mouth. “You talked to him?”
He nods.
“And he sent this for free?”
Taehyung nods again getting more confused. “Yes, why are you acting like thi—”
Before he can finish you begin packing the stuff so blinded by whatever emotion that you don't notice the worried looks from your daughter and Taehyung.
Everything packed and next you grab the bunny Eunji is already cuddling and attached to that was in the box. And of course she cries.
“No, mommy, bunny.” She's cries and it breaks your heart. “Mommy bunny please!!” Taehyung goes to her.
“I’m sorry baby but you can't have this, mommy will buy you another one, a better one.” Which is a lie cause you know these are expensive as hell.
Fed up Taehyung stands and holds you by your waist, after calming Eunji. “Hey hey, look at me.”
You don't want to but eventually do. “What the hell is going on?”
He can see the tears form in your eyes and fuck you hate that you're doing this. You hate that you hadn’t told him. You thought it’d be better if he didn't know, easier for him but fuck.
“You can tell me anything, darling, please, don't shut me out, I know something’s wr—”
“He's Eunji’s dad.” You finally say and break down after, it’s a whisper so Eunji doesn’t hear it now too because the TV that was on.
Taehyung’s quiet. But then you repeat it. “He's Eunji’s dad, I'm sorry I didn’t te—” You don't even get the sentence out when he's pulling you into his chest. His own eyes watering for his own foolishness, how can he? Fuck.
“You don't have to explain. I'm sorry. I should've told you.”
It's not like you hadn’t told him the story it's just that you redacted Jungkook’s name, and you can't blame him too much cause you're at fault. He's the man you're going to marry, you should've told him everything.
Pulling away slightly calmer you say hands on his chest. “It's not your fault you couldn't have known.”
He cups your cheek and you finally look up at him. “We’ll send them back I promise, I'm so sorry.”
Just as you’re done hugging, Eunji' at your feet. “Dada please bunny.”
You both look at her and then at each other.
It’s those freaking doe eyes she's got, the ones that sparkle the galaxy and can't deny, the same that got you here.
Done thinking you give up. “Fine you can just have the bunny.”
-
You’ve been taking Eunji to daycare for some months now, not that you don't want her all to yourself everyday. Just for social interaction and early education. As much as you can play and learn with her, there’s more she could learn from interacting with people her age.
Plus you need time to focus on some freelancing you've been doing and looking for a job too.
“You’ve got everything sweetie?” you ask before parking in the front.
Eunji nods holding on to the cute bag you bought her.
“You ready?”
It’s been over 3 months and you never not asked her that. In the beginning she would cry, not wanting to be away from you, but soon she learnt it’s actually fun cause she can play with friends which she doesn’t have much of at home.
So handing her off to her teacher and saying bye, you walk back to your car, well you’re almost there when someone jumps out of the car next to yours.
You almost cuss them out. Do they think just because they’ve got such a freaking expensive car they can just do—
“Can I talk to you.”
How the hell did you not notice. Bile rises in your throat.
“What the hell are you doing here?” you look around for security you aren't gonna call cause you know the man isn’t dangerous.
What's with your luck of late, first Yoongi, then the gifts and then finally the man himself.
“How the hell are you here?”
Jungkook just stands there unfazed by your body language, dark clothes and a cap, trying to hide himself.
“It’s easy to get information when you have money.”
“Wow, good to know.” you roll your eyes and reach for your door and that's when he grabs your wrist, not aggressive just trying to stop you.
“We need to talk.” He drops your wrist.
This man has a way of putting you in situations where you should’ve never been. If you had just not gone to that party, not followed him up to that studio, if you hadn’t—maybe you should just ignore him—
“I want to be a part of Eunji’s life.” He starts. “I want us to be a family.”
It’s weird hearing him say that. It upsets you honestly.
A hard degrading laugh leaves your lips.
“You what?” He watches you. “You see that's your issue Jungkook, you only want to be there when shit is easy.”
Now you’ve—“I was there for you, I sent texts, I called, I sent money, anything and everything I would do.” He calms himself not wanting to draw attention to the both of you, mainly himself.
You chuckle looking at him confused. “Was that before or after you made a song saying I was a liar and she wasn't your child, and then went on to make a fucking album about it. Huh? Before or after?”
No matter how many times he tries to mend it the damage was done when he made that song.
“You really showed me who you prioritize back then, so why come back. You think you can have your cake and eat it too?”
You’re getting angry. Cause why the hell is he here, why is he sending you gifts and reaching out to your partner, why the hell is he stalking you and finding where your daughter goes. He has too much power now and willing to use it, that scares you. Cause what will he do with it. You have no clue who he is now.
“Eunji and I are not opportunities to invest in, we're not something you can leave and come back to later.” Your anger turns into tears. “You left me Jungkook. 9 months, then 3 years. You fucking used us to launch yourself, without telling me mind you.”
“So if I had told you, you would’ve been okay?”
You sigh wiping the tears off your cheek. “Doesn’t matter you decided to do it behind my back and shame me for a decision you said you were happy for me for.”
“I am happy for you. I did want you to have the baby, I did want to be—” He doesn't finish.
“But you just didn’t want to be the father?”
He rubs his face not knowing what to say. “YN please, maybe we can talk elsewhere. That will be better.”
“If I wanted to talk to you I would answer every fucking messages.” You move inches to your door. “Now fucking excuse m—” Just as your hand wraps around the door and it slightly opens, Jungkook slams it shut, aggressively.
He’s had it. Why are you acting like this, you were never this hard to talk to before but, fuck, he guesses he’s not the only one who’s changed.
Startled and afraid Jungkook forces your body to lean on your car. One of his hands is on the door where yours is to make sure you don't open it, and the other is just by your head, trapping you.
In a low frustrated tone he whispers for you to hear. “This is my fucking daughter we’re talking about, she shouldn’t have to call someone else dad, when her real dad is right here and willing to do everything for her.” His words come out like venom and his eyes are nothing less. “You hear that? Anything. I’ll do anything for her.”
Jungkook’s never scared you before, but you've never seen him angry.
“I made a mistake I know, a mistake that can give you two both the best life ever. So I'm not gonna watch you suffer taking her to some fuckass school. I can do better than this.” You can't really do much but watch him, too frozen. He moves in to your ear. “You can do much fucking better YN.”
Does he want to fucking kiss you?
Is he freaking drunk?
You push him off and finally breathe.
“Fuck off Jungkook.”
He sighs, feeling he hasn’t reached you he picks plan B. He never wanted to do this, it's not fair but if you both can’t decide, someone higher up will have to do it for you.
“Fine. This is how you want to do this.” He hands you the large A4 envelope. You take it, why the hell are you taking it.
“We’ll just have to go to court then.”
You stare at him not believing the man he has become. You don't even dare to ask him why, you just get into your car. This time he doesn’t stop you from getting into it.
You can't believe this, are you supposed to now get a lawyer or what? Fuck.
And in all this you still can’t stop thinking if somebody saw you too, fuck, this is so embarrassing you come here everyday.
And of course somebody saw you, who wouldn’t have noticed him.
Pictures of only the last moment of your conversation are up, and articles and gossip blogs go wild.
“Is it his baby?” “Golden lies??”
Everyone's talking about it and you feel like you’re back in that time again, getting harassed. But at least this time you aren’t alone. Taehyung fumes as much as you.
“That piece of shit’s really doing this?” He walks up and down the kitchen while you lay on the island head on the cold marble.
“Fine, why would the court side with him anyway, he thinks he's a bigshot.” He comes up to caress your back and hold you close. “Don't worry this will blow over too, Eunji’s our daughter.”
You lay on his chest.
You actually don't think it will ever end as long as Jungkook’s alive. Nothing ever seems to fully blow over with Jungkook.
-
During events and interviews Jungkook attends and on all his platforms people ask him about the situation and apart from silence all he says is “she’s someone I worked well with so I casually need advice from her, that’s it.” and he'd laugh off.
But nothing was funny about it at all. All alone in his home he finds comfort in the bottle again. And he’s made many mistakes due to it but he can’t decide if this one today is a mistake or not.
Drunk Jungkook speaks into the live stream the chat going too fast for him to read, but it's just everyone asking him about the situation, some fans condemning him, some saying he has to say something about it, and some telling him how strong he is and how they will always support him.
Drunk as hell, he laughs and speaks to the camera. “You guys know that song ummm the one that got me here right?” The chat floods with affirmations and demands. He takes another sip. “I fucking hate it.”
He laughs again to hide the pain the realization makes him feel. “I wish I never made it, I hate it that much.”
“Do you guys like it?” He finally looks at the chat like he can even read it “Do you guys know what it means?” He shakes his head leaning into his chair. “You probably don't but it’s fine, doesn't matter anymore.”
Concerns flood the chat but he doesn’t care, next thing the live ends and people are clipping and making commentary on the situation.
Hyun-min isn't happy at all but all he can do is be concerned if Jungkook should take a break again. But that never brought anything good so maybe he should keep working.
Sober Jungkook doesn't regret saying it at all. All he wishes is that you see it, you see that he truly means it.
You do see it but it doesn't make you feel what Jungkook expects, you just feel pity. Cause at the end of the day, you realize how messed up the industry is and how this situation is, and him being drunk you don't know if it was just a fun drink or something serious, but you do pity him.
But that pity slowly turns into anger when you scroll through posts of people comparing your child and Jungkook and spotting the resemblances. Where the hell did they even get these pics from? Are people stalking you while you take her to school?
Stalking you is one thing but stalking your child while you take her to school, you can’t take that. Now you can't take her to that place again.
He’s ruining both your lives and he doesn’t realize that, all for what?
And so for the first time ever you call Jungkook.
“Why the hell are you doing this?” you’re basically begging.
“Why are you calling me?” You can't tell if he’s shocked guilty or doesn’t care.
You roll your eyes. “Have you not seen Eunji’s face everywhere on the internet.” He doesn’t respond. “Are you out of your mind, I thought you didn't want to be the father, you made sure to tell everyone that. But now you’re putting her in danger. Pick a fucking side Jung—”
“STOP FUCKING YELLING AT ME!!” He yells and you have to pull the phone away from your ear. “You, the company, media, Hyun-min. You’re all in my fucking ear about everything.” His frustration doesn’t simmer. “Don't you think I realize what’s going on. I fucking know. I’m at the center of it.”
“Don't yell at me.”
“I know. I do feel guilty. Fuck” You can hear him sigh. “I’m sorry about Eunji, I really am, I can’t control fucking people. I’ll fix it.”
“Then focus on what you can control."
You can hear the gears turning. “What?”
“The narrative. Just deny Eunji, like you did, I deny it too and we can go on like before.”
Jungkook chuckles menacingly. “And what you can go on live happily ever after while my daughter calls someone else dad? Fuck that YN, her real father’s alive, why would I let her grow up in a false reality.”
“You coming into our lives and pretending you've always been or wanted to be there is a false reality Jungkook.” You can’t help but raise your voice as well. “Don't you want her to be happy, you leaving us alone will make her happy.”
It’s silent for a minute like he’s considering and your heart hopes. But just then he speaks words that turn your blood cold.
“I’m not gonna do that, sorry.”
“Jung—” He cuts the call and the line beeps.
And just at that moment Taehyung and Eunji walk into the house from their walk. Eunji telling you about the rocks and funny leaves they picked and you hate that all you can do is smile and pat her head.
“Did you talk?” Taehyung asks moving in to give you a comforting kiss.
You shake your head. “He really wants to take this to court Tae.” Taehyung pulls you into a hug.
“Hug hug.” Eunji raises her little hands and you can't help but smile.
“Come here baby girl.” Taehyung lifts her and pulls you all into a hug. “I love you guys okay?”
“Love you too Tae.”
“I wuv you dada.”
You narrow your eyes at her and playfully pinch her cheeks. She giggles. “What about me?”
Between tickles she lets out an “I wuv you mama.”
-
Jimin’s honestly the best person to go with in this situation, first of all he’s your friend, a great lawyer, and someone who has been there since the beginning of this mess.
Immediately you told him about the situation he told both of you to keep silent, no social media or negotiating or talking with Jungkook. And that's what you did.
And finally the day has come. Court day. But the annoying part about all this, it has to be done in session you can never just do it once off.
“You okay?” Seokjin, who has been Jungkook’s lawyer for a while now asks the man.
Jungkook nods, not convincingly though. “It's just hard.” Cause he knows he’s finally going to see Eunji face to face.
Seokjin holds Jungkook on the shoulder in a manly comfort.
“You’re okay. You can't keep seeing your daughter through paparazzi pictures. You deserve a relationship with her.”
And that’s all Jungkook has ever wanted to hear. That he's not the bad guy in this, that he too deserves a chance to watch and see his daughter grow.
So taking a breath he finally enters the court room it’s just them but soon you’re coming in, Taehyung and Jimin by your side.
Cause god knows what you would do or say to this man if you were just alone.
Jungkook watches you walk in, Taehyung holding your hand tightly as you go to your side. He searches but he doesn’t see his daughter so he leans over to his lawyer.
You’ve never been in court before. You’ve always just seen it on TV shows. But one thing those shows don't capture is how cold and empty this place feels and the reason you’re here only makes it worse.
“Where’s the child?” Seokjin turns to Jimin who doesn't turn immediately.
“Not here.” Jimin says. The judge isn’t in yet so they both feel free to talk however.
“You were supposed to bring her.”
You listen carefully to both of them but mainly you’re looking at Jungkook as he sits in his suit and metaphorical high chair. Shit you just want to lunge at him. Taehyung squeezes your hand to bring you back.
“It’s okay I’m here.” He says kissing into your hair.
“It’s not mandatory it’s just a case hearing.” Jimin continues.
You were glad to hear that you didn’t have to bring Eunji here. You hoped to keep it that way but Jimin told you that eventually she’d have to come in and it made you and Taehyung sick. She doesn't need to have this place in her memory, or any of this honestly.
“If she's not here then who is she with, is she safe?”
You roll your eyes and Taehyung scoffs. You didn’t want Taehyung talking to him cause this is between you and Jungkook and you don't want to get anyone else into the mess.
“She's with a trusted friend. Someone who was there when she was a fetus and when she was a baby, wayyy longer than you.”
There aren't any people apart from your lawyers and yourselves so you can say whatever you want since, Jungkook requested for a private hearing.
When the hell is the judge gonna get here?
Jungkook and his lawyer don't say much after that, no one does actually.
“You okay?” Tae asks.
“I’m okay, just so upset.”
He takes your hand into his, “I know but you need to be less feisty when the judge gets here.”
“I know that.”
Couple minutes go by and the judge is in. And it feels like looking at god or something that can choose to ruin your life or make it the best thing ever.
Once the greetings are settled the case hearing begins. But one thing that throws you off is when the judge says how much his daughter adores Jungkook.
“Mr. Park and Mr. Kim I received both your documents but if you could care to reintroduce why we’re here. I’d like the petitioner’s side to begin.” Judge Choi says and Seokjin steps forward.
“Good morning your honor. My name is Kim Seokjin and I'm here to represent the petitioner, Jeon Jungkook, in this custody matter concerning the 3-year-old, Jeon Eunji.”
Your heart clenches at the sound of his name next to hers. But Jimin is ahead of you.
“Objection your honor the child’s name legally as stated on her birth certificate, is Y/L/N Eunji. And we would appreciate it if counsel addressed her as such.”
Jungkook is fuming at that, but what can he do.
Judge Choi speaks. “I agree with Mr. Park, the child’s name is Y/L/N Eunji.”
Seokjin sucks in a breath and corrects himself before continuing. “Mr. Jeon, and Ms. YN had a non-committal relationship about 3 years ago which led to the conception of Eunji. Mr. Jeon was happy that YN was having the child and encouraged that she not answer the threats his company made. Due to pressure from his company Mr. Jeon couldn’t be around for the pregnancy but he did reach out to the respondent, and even paid her a visit where he called himself the child's father.”
You cringe at the words. You remember that day, but you also remember the look on his face, like he had made a mistake by calling himself that.
“The respondent did not deny the words either. Months went on with no contact between the two parties, but my client did reach out many times to which the respondent ignored and later went on to block my client on the messaging platform and out of respect my client did not force himself onto her. Cause at the time there was a frenzy on the media and he did understand her. Eventually Ms. YN gave birth to the child in question, without informing my client, who when he found out sent her money that she returned.
My client is requesting for shared physical custody, shared legal custody and for Eunji to recognise him as her father, so that major decisions about Eunji’s education and health can be made between Ms. YN and Mr. Jeon and no other parties. As this will serve for the best interest of the child.”
Seokjin rests his case and sits down next to Jungkook. Who flinches at the question the judge asks.
“Miss Y/L/N does the child know that Mr. Jeon exists?”
You stand. “No your Honor.”
“And why is that?” The man stares at you but you don't flinch, you’ve spoken a lot in public and this is nothing new, although you do feel a lump in your throat cause of the sensitive subject.
“Because he does not exist.”
Judge Choi laughs and looks over to Jungkook’s side.
“Mr. Kim did you forget to bring me a death certificate for Mr. Jeon?”
Seokjin shakes his head and laughs. “He’s right here sir.”
“Ms. YN, Mr. Jeon is well and alive how can you say he doesn’t exist.”
“To exist means to be present and Mr. Jeon was never present for the child’s life, and his actions showed that he didn’t want to exist in the child’s life, your honor.”
“And he told you that?”
You hate this you really do. Having to relive the past. “He never said it to my face, but I'm sure you’re aware of the song he produced and composed and performed many times.” You can feel yourself tread into emotiosn so you take a deep breath, thankfully the judge doesn’t mention it.
“That will be it thank you Ms. YN.”
“Counsel Park where is the child we speak of?” He asks Jimin when you go back to your seat to Taehyung who comforts you.
“The child is currently being looked after by my client's best friend, Han Sohee, your honor.”
“Mr. Jeon do you know this friend?”
“I do your honor.”
“And you’re okay with Eunji being left in her care?”
“I’ve never met Sohee in person but I trust YN’s judgment.”
You roll your eyes. He sounds so fucking fake. The judge instructs that Eunji be here for the next hearing and you agree, though reluctantly.
“Mr. Park, your opening statement.”
Jimin stands and you watch anxiously. You trust him.
“Good morning your honor, my name is Park Jimin and I represent the respondent, YN Y/L/N in the custody matter concerning the 3-year old Y/L/N Eunji. Your honor, my client agrees with the petitioner that we seek Eunji’s well being as of now and the rest of her life. However evidence shows that granting any form of custody to Mr. Jeon would cause harm to Eunji, seeing that she has already grown to accept Mr. Kim Taehyung as a father figure. And seeing Mr. Jeon’s lifestyle it is not suitable for a child who needs constant attention and care, to add when Eunji grows up and finds out the things her father has said about her and her mother in that song, her mental health could be affected if she is in contact with him.”
“Mr. Kim Taehyung has maintained a strong relationship with the child since she was 6 months old. He picks her up and takes her to daycare according to the schedule with my client, and he participates in the parental caregiving of the child. Mr. Kim has provided a stable home environment for Eunji and my client.”
The judge interrupts for a second. “Mr. Kim are you married to Ms. YN?”
“Not yet.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes.
The judge notes something down. “And when do you plan on getting married?”
“Next month your honor.”
You widen your eyes at that but you don't say anything.
“Have you been the main father figure in Eunji’s life, no other man has been there before you.”
Taehyung shakes his head. “No your honor, I'm the only one.”
He notes down again and tells Jimin to go on.
“At that my client and I request that things stay as they are, Mr. Jeon being out of the picture and Mr. Kim and Ms. YN having full physical, full legal custody and for Mr. Taehyung to be Eunji’s legal father.”
Jimin rests his case but you can see the last statement ruffles some feathers.
Jungkook whispers something into Seokjin’s ear.
“They can't do that can they?” Jungkook asks Seokjin.
“Not likely, seeing that you're present and want to be present and they aren’t married.”
So that is it for day one, nothing as bad as you expected but still aggravating.
When the second time comes around you have Eunji in the car with you. You got to the court minutes ago but are afraid to leave with Eunji cause of the cameras. Lord knows how these people find out about this.
“I think you should stay in the car with her Tae, we’ll let the judge know the ruckus here and maybe she won't have to come in.”
Taehyung nods as he takes Eunji from you.
Maybe you just don't want her to see Jungkook, that's definitely a reason.
So you and Jimin walk into the court room.
“Didn't I ask for the child to be brought in today.” Judge Choi asks and Jimin explains the situation.
He doesn’t give you the answer you wanted though, mainly cause Jungkook suggested his security guard accompany you. And the judge agrees. The crowd is cleared by some court officers too and Taehyung soon walks in with Eunji in his arms and resting on his shoulder.
Jungkook watches intently, at the way he holds her and the way she’s comfortably with him, at everything he wanted to be. And he hates him.
Once in new lighting Eunji, being as curious as she is looks around. She looks at everything and eventually settles on Jungkook who smiles and waves but she doesn’t return. She just glances to the next thing and it hurts, just looked at him like a stranger. A stranger who she shares most her features with. She's literally a reflection of him and you want to take that away from her and him, Jungkook’s pissed at that and at your stupid partner for being in his spot. And looking at him like he deserves to be.
Fuck, is he tearing up right now? He pulls out a handkerchief.
“Mr. Jeon is this the child in question.”
Jungkook collects himself to respond. “I can't be sure cause she's never sent me pictures, but just from looking at her features I know for sure that’s my daughter.”
Eunji sits on her own on a bench in between you and Taehyung and plays with her bunny not paying attention to the situation.
The judge asks you the same and you confirm.
“Mr. Jeon do you have any other children?” The judge asks and Jungkook shakes his head.
“Ms. YN?”
How the heck do you answer this, it should be easy but—“No.”
He asks Taehyung the same question and he answers the truth, “No.”
“Mr. Kim and Park you can proceed.”
Seokjin goes first. “Your honor the evidence presented throughout this hearing has been clear and consistent. Mr. Jeon acknowledges his faults but also acknowledges his support and protection to the child and Ms. YN. He has sent money, and gifts which they once accepted but returned and if you can see the child plays with a doll today that Mr. Jeon provided. That's all to say your honor, Mr. Jeon is willing and ready to be in the child's life and provide her with the best education, health care and life. And it’s unfair to keep that away from her because her mother is hurt by Mr. Jeon’s actions. The respondent argues that Mr. Kim should retain legal ground to be called Eunji’s father but why do that when she has her real father here ready to step up. We are aware that the respondent loves the child very much and wishes the best for her, and if that is so, my client and I propose for shared physical custody, shared legal custody and for Eunji and the law to recognise him as her father, so that major decisions about Eunji’s education and health can be made between Ms. YN and Mr. Jeon and no other parties. As this will serve for the best interest of the child.”
Seokjin rests his case and the judge asks Jungkook if that what he wants and of course he says. “Yes your honor that all I’m asking for.”
“Mr. Park.”
Jimin is up and begins. “Your honor, my client acknowledges Mr. Jeon as the biological father. However, the petitioner was absent during the pregnancy, birth and first 3 years of the child’s life. And my client has been the primary caregiver. Since the child was six months old, Mr. Kim, my client's partner, has been fully engaged in the child’s daily care. The child refers to him as ‘dad’ demonstrating a strong emotional bond and sense of security. The petitioner has made attempts to contact the child during the years, these attempts were ignored initially due to Mr. Jeon’s public denial of paternity and not out of hatred or hurt. The song claiming the child was not his caused the respondent to fear exposing the child to emotional harm and public scrutiny. The child thrives in the current environment with the respondent and her partner, who is actively involved and emotionally bonded with the child. Immediate unsupervised access by the petitioner could disrupt the child’s stability and emotional well being.”
Before he says anything else the judge asks. “mr jeon, In all honesty to yourself your child, her mother and the court. When you wrote that song did you write it yourself and did you write it about the respondent and the child?”
Jungkook stands, lightheaded cause the answer is one he has battled with for years but he needs to be honest to show he’s changed.
“Yes, your honor I wrote it myself, and wrote it about Ms. YN and Eunji at the time.”
The judge nods not showing much on his face.
To conclude the judge asks “Mr. Park be sure to come in with the DNA results next time.”
Jimin nods and the judge walks out, and just after that Jungkook walks up to you. Soft and begging.
“Can I see her?”
You look at Jimin, who tells you it’s up to you. Taehyung says the same.
You’re not an evil person you’ll say that. So you reluctantly let him. “2 minutes.”
You take Eunji from Taehyung and let him talk to her from your hip.
Jungkook could tear up just from the way she looks up at him. Cute doe eyes that glitter.
“Hi baby girl, how are you.” He coos and you watch remembering that day he came over. “It’s your daddy.” He tries to reach for her tiny hand but she pulls away.
Eunji was fine before he mentioned that but now she cries. Taehyung takes her and for whatever reason you decided to tell Jungkook.
“Its past her nap time, she's just fussy.” And you leave it at that.
It's a shame honestly.
Jungkook watches you walk out and he bites down on his lower lip and only tenses when Seokjin places a hand on his shoulder.
“Everything’s gonna be okay, I got this.”
Jungkook blinks away the tears. “He’s gonna say no, Seokjin shit.”
“Listen.” He squeezes Jungkook’s shoulder this time to tell him something serious. Jungkook looks at the man. “Don't worry, I have something that’s gonna guarantee you your daughter okay?” Seokjin says suspiciously and if Jungkook cared about you he would say no to. If Jungkook was doing all this for the right reason he would tell Seokjin to stop while he’s ahead. But no he doesn’t say any, just nods trusting the man.
Of course the media gets their hands on pictures and speculation but nothing is leaked cause everyone in the case are either tied to Eunji directly and care for her or tied to attorney-client privilege.
And either way Jungkook isn’t worried about the media cause most are on his side. It’s crazy how he was able to build such a loyal fanbase.
It's another day to court and you’re running late, not cause you want to but because you can't stop puking.
“You think you’re gonna be okay?” Taehyung asks holding back your hair.
You nod wiping your mouth when the urge returns. You just have to, you want to show you’re capable enough to be Eunji’s sole caretaker.
“This stress isn’t good for us Tae, I'm scared.” Immediately he rubs your back.
“I know, I hate that we have to go through this now. But I promise we’re gonna be fine.”
You shake your head. “That’s not for you to choose.” You force yourself to stand. “I’ll be fine, let’s just get this over with.”
You clutch your stomach when it churns. And for the first time after Eunji was born you relive that fear of losing again.
Why does Jungkook have to give you everything and take everything away too.
The judge looks over the DNA results. And there's not much to see. You all knew Jungkook was the father you never denied that. You guess it’s just for the law’s sake that you have to confirm it.
Before the judge goes on to say anything Seokjin interrupts.
“Your honor I have some evidence I would like to present to you.”
Everyone except Jungkook and Seokjin are shocked, you thought the time for that passed and honestly he shouldn’t be giving evidence at such a time.
You look at Jimin and he’s just as confused as you are.
“Does this information have any benefit to us right now.”
The judge looks like he’s not having it but Seokjin proceeds. “Yes your honor I believe it's something that will help you get to an easier conclusion.”
“Go ahead Mr. Kim.”
Seokjin straightens his jacket.
“As I have presented before your honor, my client, Mr. Jeon Jungkook is a financially stable man for himself and even a family. And even though Ms. YN has been the sole caregiver to Eunji for all of her life, Ms. YN is currently experiencing unemployment, and her partner too facing some trouble with work, and recently had to remove Eunji from her school cause of its costly nature. And seeing that she's expecting another child, it would be essential for my client to be involved in Eunji’s life, your honor. For the child’s benefit. Thank you.”
The judge stares at Seokjin and then slowly Jimin.
“Mr. Park is that right?”
Not prepared much Jimin stands. “Your honor my client is unemployed but that doesn't mean she doesn't work, she does freelance work, which ensures she spends more time with Eunji as well. And for her partner, I'm not sure where the petitioning counsel got the information but he does have a stable job it’s just that his company is merging with another and hence has caused some confusion at the moment, but I assure you he does have a job with an income that supports them all. And for Eunji leaving school, my client decided on that due to the media frenzy that was happening due to Mr. Jeon’s actions and even though the fees are costly my client does pay them.”
The court is silent again and all you can think about is... who the hell has this man become, he’s now stalking you and the people around you for dirt. It disgusts you. How the hell was he even able to get the most intimate details of your life. Fuck you’re crying. No.
This isn’t the man you want Eunji’s life, you appreciate his passion but no, this is too far.
“And the pregnancy, Ms. YN are you pregnant?” The judge asks as Taehyung holds you. You wipe your tears and suck in a breath.
How do you even answer this. How dare Jungkook force you in this spot. This is basically that song all fucking over again.
“Yes your honor, I found out some weeks ago, but I've been experiencing some complications—” you choke on your tears. “So I wasn't sure if I could keep the child anyways but yes I am pregnant.”
Seokjin immediately swoops in. “Exactly my point your honor. She lied to the court about not having other children.”
The judge eyes him down and asks him a question that shuts him down. “Counsel Kim were you born without a heart?” Of course he doesn’t answer so Judge Choi turns to you. “It’s alright and I hope you—”
That's when you feel it, the blood rushing down with gravity from your head to out of your body, and with gravity your body falls as well. Taehyung catches you in his arms, immediately noting that you’ve fainted.
“I’ll call an ambulance.” Jimin says. And Taehyung tries to talk to you, to no avail. Thank god Eunji wasn't here today, cause what the hell would he do.
Jungkook has felt guilt many times but this, watching you fall limp like that. That's a new kind of guilt and it’s all because of him. No matter how much he tries to make his life better it just seems to get worse, for everyone else around him. Why doesn't he just stop, why can’t he.
Jungkook watches in horror as the ambulance rushes away and he feels sick. He crouches to the ground thinking to himself. What the point of all this, if Eunji losing you then she's lost all she knows. But he doesn’t want to take Eunji away from you, he just wants to be there too. Fuck, maybe there couldn've been a better way to do all this.
But if he’s being honest the best way to have done this was be there from the get go. He should’ve said he wanted to be in your life and the child's life, he should’ve been there for you. He should’ve not made that song. He shouldn’t have done a lot of things. So there's not much he can do right now.
“You okay?” Seokjin asks and that was his last straw.
“How can I be okay, I did this. I'm hurting everyone.” Seokjin just watches. “Seokjin just cancel this whole thing.” He wipes the tears that flood his eyes.
“I'm sorry to hear that, but we can’t really cancel it right now.”
-
At the hospital, the doctor tells Taehyung that you of course lost the child and that you have to be hospitalized for at least 3 days. Cause your body went through much stress and anxiety in such a short amount of time.
Upset, hurt and frustrated are understatements for what Taehyung feels. He feels like he failed you, failed Eunji, failed himself. He does feel anger to himself but most of his anger goes to that good for nothing star who thinks he can come into your lives when he wants to.
And it doesn’t ease when he's informed he’s outside the hospital and wants to speak to him. Jimin accompanies him knowing the man is not level headed.
And it's when Taehyung pulls Jungkook by the collar that Jimin validates his presence.
“As much as I want the same, for the sake of everyone involved let him go Taehyung.” Jimin pleads, knowing that this would not look good and Jungkook’s lawyer would absolutely inform the judge.
Taehyung isn't a violent man though so he wasn’t going to do anything, he knows better but he just wanted to feel what it could feel like if he did do it.
“What do you want? Mm? What more could you possibly have up your sleeve.”
Reading the room Jungkook doesn't even dare offer the flowers he brought.
“How's YN?” His voice is low and broken like a man over with the world.
Taehyung laughs “You care?”
Jungkook looks Taehyung dead in the eye. “I know you don't want to hear it but she's the mother of my child so I do care. I care very much.”
He doesn’t let him go further. “If you cared you would leave. Leave YN and Eunji alone.”
Jungkook’s grip on the flowers tightens and if they had thorns the would 100% pierce his skin.
All his sadness turning to anger at the suggestion Jungkook sizes up to Taehyung. “She will never love you like you want her to, she's gonna grow and realise that you were just a man trying to force himself into a position cause of whatever fucking ego. I can take way better care of my own child and I don't need any other man’s help.”
It’s ironic he says all that.
“sounds like you should tell that to a mirror man. Or a fucking therapist.”
Is all Taehyung says before Jimin steps in.
“Jungkook I think you should go.”
He does. And when he gets home the cabinet is the first place he goes to. Was he really projecting?
It’s a week later and the last day in court. The day that determines this whole thing. And even though you're not fully better your doctor allows you to come to court.
You don't stare at anyone, honestly you want to be out of here as fast as possible.
The judge holds a piece of paper.
“Before I make my verdict I’ll have to say. We all have to forgive each other, you know? I'm not a pastor but I can see the strain on all your souls and I believe that neither environment is good for the child. So regardless of my decision you all have to forgive each other. For Eunji’s sake yeah?”
You all just nod like children being lectured but aren’t hearing a single thing.
“I have listened to both parties carefully,” he begins, his voice calm. “This is not a case about blame. It’s a case about the three-year-old child whose world has so far been her mother and the man she knows as her father.”
He pauses glancing at Taehyung before he goes on.
“While the petitioner’s absence is regrettable, the Court acknowledges his efforts to reconnect. However, the law is clear: the child’s stability and emotional security is of utmost importance. She is bonded to her mother and to her mother’s fiancé, who has been her father figure since being an infant. That bond must not be broken.”
Jungkook lowers his eyes tongue poking his cheek. Your fingers tighten around Taehyung’s sleeve as he hums something comforting.
“Therefore,” Judge Choi continues “custody shall remain with the respondent. The father will be granted supervised visitation twice a month, to begin immediately, under professional guidance. After six months, the arrangement may be reviewed.”
“Mr. Jeon,” he adds softly, “you have the chance now to show consistency, patience, and sincerity. If you do, this Court will support your continued involvement. Whoever the child decides to call ‘dad’ is up to her but I advise you let her in on the truth of her biological father as soon and as gently as possible.”
There's a brief silence. Then the gavel falls.
“This Court is adjourned.”
Everyone is silent for a moment. It's not the worst thing but honestly you wished Jungkook was cut off completely. And Jungkook thinks the same cause now the reality sinks in, he has to become a father now. He’s gotten what he was fighting for and yet it still feels not enough. Cause enough was back then when he had all the chance.
Nothing will ever be enough.
Seokjin walks up to Jimin satisfied and says.
“So Counsel Park, when do we discuss the visiting schedule.”
༻❁༺𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒆, 𝒂𝒎 𝑰 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏?༻❁༺
So what do you think? Do you agree? I hope you liked it. let's chat about it 💬💬🥂
ciao, see ya when i see ya
A/n: I hope this lived up to you guy's time, cause I did enjoy writing this dn I hope the lawyer talk wasn't boring lol..
If you didn't like it please don’t tell me, or don't be negative about it, this is the first time i've ever posted and worked on a fic since my burnout and i don't wanna go back there lol. So remember to be kind💞💕💓
I hope you guys don't let this flop, cause I spent a lot much time and blood working on this. Anyways I appreciate you guys. Thanks.
Every positive like, reblog and comment is appreciated.
22.k words
synopsis: you get a notification about plane tickets you purchased about a trip you were excited for, only reason you're not excited at the remainder, is because you had planned the trip with your now ex. At the time you never thought you'd be spending December broken up. So, it felt like a great idea. not so much now.
ex!jk x ex!femreader (fem anatomy.)
exes to lovers
use of 'yn'
warnings: angst, fluff, smut: long-distance relationship, exes, second chance, miscommunication, b*tches is awkward, tension, one bed, forced proximity, Jungkook isn't crazy rich but he's got good money, i think he's an accountant, jk has that short ceo hair cut. reader has communication problem, jungkook's freaking green sweater needs it's own fanfic!, think are!you!sure jungkook. protective!jk, there's a creep who approaches reader as jungkook is off skiing, and whilst she's in the sauna(nothing bad happens.), sweet!wants!to!try!jk, jk has issues of not communicating too. they just can't seem to talk. avoiding stuff. teasing. touchy!jk, secret glances. jealousy, reader is very jealous,they're lying to themsleves, jungkook loves to take pictures especially of reader. hot tub jungkook who's looking up at you like you're a goddes. very needy kissing, boob sucking, dirty talking, oral(f!receiving.), handjob, cowgirl, protected!penetration, aftercare. hand kissing. [i don't know what else i need to add, let me know]
as per usual, it was edited but if there are any errors, forgive me.
A/N: this fic is honestly cause of that Jungkook green sweater I've never travelled to please don't come at me if anything is wrong. I very much world built some things. I've given written from top to bottom so don't except a part 2, unless maybe drabble requests. I wrote this in one week and i'm so proud i was able to write 22k words, in that time. though i was supposed to go up on the 25th[shhhhhh]
A/N: i'm still learning how to write smut. so if you think the smut is cringe please don't tell me :) i don't wanna know. unless you want to help me improve it, and you do it kindly, i'd appreciate.
likes, reblog, and all positive asks and comments are always appreciated.
i hope you're happy with this one.
[read under the cut]
You get the notification as you're scrolling through your phone. A remainder of sorts that you had been forgetting something. Cause you had been.
It loomed over you all week. The lingering feeling of remembering what you can’t. You hated it. But now that you know it’s source you couldn’t feel any worse.
Being the recipient of the message, you’re burdened with having to translate the message. Why do you have to do this? Broken up, having to text him feels like opening a can of worms. But the tickets are non-refundable, and it would be unfair for you to not inform him. You did both pay for them, Jungkook of course paying more because he was just too stubborn to split. he'd actually wanted to pay for the full thing but you were at odds with the idea. he settled eventually.
So, it would be unfair to not tell him. Right? Yes. But you don’t want to believe it.
Even if how the hell are you going to remind your ex about the holiday trip you planned thinking you’d be together for; but in turn would celebrate separately. Before the notification of the trip.
To add on, now you have to open your chat. An action you dread to do; for your emotional health.
What are you actually going to say? You think, finger hovering over the keyboard. Something that won’t make you sound like you’ve missed him, were thinking about him or even thinking about going on this trip with him. All which you’ve been doing. You’ve succumb to the thoughts, only because you two broke up in October, still relatively early to just forget a 3-year relationship with someone you thought you’d marry.
Sigh.
You still haven’t answered the question of how you’re even gonna bring it up. Will he even answer?
“shibal” jimin laughs into the speaker, not helping you one bit. “you two are ridiculous.”
You roll your eyes still waiting and hoping he’ll say something sensible. It’s all in vain. “How the hell do you book a trip and break up just before. You couldn’t wait?” He laughs and you just know he’s sat at his computer playing games, from his loud and unfocused speech.
“We didn’t freaking know we’d breakup.” You justify. “Plus, cause of the breakup we forgot. I forgot.” Your voice loses its strength at the end of the sentence, your mind slipping into a deep thought.
You haven’t been able to remember anything of relevance since that day. Maybe only how to breath and live but you’d say your body takes full credit for that.
“Hmm.” is all he says to you before screaming obscenities to someone in his game.
“Jimin are you gonna be of any help or wh-”
“You know what you should do?”
You want to believe his following statement will be of use, but you can never be certain.
“Just send it” he groans from what you assume is an attack on him. Your brow raises. “Send him a screenshot of the notification. If he doesn’t respond go on it on your own.”
“Or take me with you” he whispers. If it came to it, would you even choose jimin to go with? Probably. He’d help make it fun.
You sigh, still in the darkest of analysis. It’s your best option what else could you say. So, you say your goodbye to jimin who is quick to go off to his game, without a second thought. Rude. Talking to him whilst he’s on his game is setting yourself up.
Back to having a staring contest with your phone. And after a long while of panic, thump fidgeting and dry eyes, you click on his contact (yes you still have it.) and just send the screenshot.
As you wait to make sure the picture is sent you catch a glimpse of the last text from your chat. You were avoiding slipping up and seeing it, but your eyes couldn’t be helped.
Jungkook was the last to text.
Kookie<3: I miss you call me back.
Seeing the text makes your stomach churn. Makes your head spin with all the memories and emotions returning. You don’t want to linger on it. You’re quick to just sending the screenshot like jimin said, you only hope he doesn’t ask too many questions. If he does respond. The little thought in your head surfaces. What if he wants nothing to do with you. What if you’re bothering him? You shouldn’t have sent that text. But it’s too late now.
You’re well aware his message was sent before you had broken up. The only reason you hadn’t replied was because you couldn’t. On the same day you’d called him back and told him how you didn’t think you’d be able to do it anymore.
“Mm?” he hums confused. You can hear it in his voice and it only makes you even more nervous to repeat.
“This long-distance thing isn’t working for us jungkook.” You bite you lower lip hoping to hide some of your emotions that threaten to ruin your speech. Your fingers fidget in the silence waiting for his response. But it never comes and for a moment you think he’s cut the call and you’ve been talking to yourself. That’s when he sighs, showing you, he’s been listening but too shocked to speak.
You calling his full name, no nickname, strains at his heart. “Are you serious?” it’s calm, sad even. Of course he’s sad, you’re breaking up with him. Sad isn’t even strong enough to describe what he’s feeling. Shock is just amongst them, maybe even a little anger. You’ve been going through a challenging period because of the difference in cities. But he never thought it’d come to this. Was it that bad?
“Yeah.” It’s weak defeated. You are, your whole relationship is.
Jungkook is awfully silent, he’s not sure why either. “Is there anything I can do?” he’s aware of the only solution available. But it’s not possible. Neither of your work will allow the other to move.
You shake your head like he can see it. but he doesn’t need to see what your silence has already said.
After not much thought cause he’s not able to, he speaks. “Is this what you want?” his question only serves to add to your confusion.
“You know it’s not but- “you try to speak but the lump in your throat chokes you.
It hurts him that this is happening over a call. Wishes he could’ve spoken about it in person, cause there’s more to it.
More that you haven’t spoken about. Never have, and doubt you ever will or want to.
All this just makes the idea of this trip even more worrying. That’s if he’ll want to go or even respond. You never got to know what he thought but you assume he has some sort of resentment for the way you ended things. You would too. That’s one of the things you feel guilty for.
You’ll say the way things ended was not ideal, and honestly it never made you feel good as you thought it would. It made you feel worse actually. But at least now you don’t argue because you don’t talk. Who are you kidding, you miss the arguments, something to remind he was there.
Guilt hovers but, you console yourself by saying that he probably wanted it too if he didn’t try to fight for it. Which is unfair, but what else can you tell yourself as an excuse.
Your focus is now on your screen. You’re about to exit the chat, but then those familiar popups of bubbles appear. Already?
The bubbles disappear and appear, which only serves to grow your anxiety. Is he about to rebuke you for texting him. Gosh, what the hell would you say after that? He’s about to cuss you out. Suddenly your room feels too small to hold you and what you’re feeling.
But what pops up is even more anxiety inducing.
Kookie<3: I’m in town. We should meet and talk tomorrow.
Why does he sound so professional? Why do you care. Oh- your mind, it’s spinning.
He’s in town, when? Why didn’t he tell you. This would be the first time you see him in a year since he moved. And he couldn’t even just tell you he was in town. The reason to him being here is not unknown to you. It’s the Christmas season and his parents do live in the same city as you. And just like you they were not happy about they’re son moving so far away. But nothing was stopping jungkook. Nothing.
You’re probably not important to him anymore but, couldn’t he have just said, hi. I’m in town. How long has he even been here for? You never thought he’d return to the city even for the holidays.
You shake the thoughts out of your head. You can’t be over thinking this.
We?......meet?.....talk?.....TOMORROW!
Tomorrow couldn’t come any faster (not that you were excited for it.). It’s almost as though it wants you and jungkook to meet.
You both agreed to meet at one of the small restaurants near your place. One you two frequented together, so it holds so much for you. Which only made you more anxious on your way.
When you walked in your eyes unconsciously moved to the table you and jungkook loved to seat at. It was good distance from the kitchen so your food could reach you quicker, and far from others so that jungkook could lean in and say the nastiest thing on earth. It always made you blush even though you’d swat at him. You spot jungkook sat where he usually sat. Coat taken off and hanged on his chair.
“Hey.” You choke out smiling politely as you reach the table and take off your coat, the inside of the restaurant too warm to be comfortable with it on.
You take a sit and allow your body to get accustomed to the environment. And jungkook.
He’s quick to respond to your greeting just as awkward.
When you’re settled you finally get a chance to see just how much he’s changed in a year. The warm light from the ceiling softens his features which would normally be sharp in the dim lights of your bedroom. His hair is cut short. Last time you saw him it was neck length, but now it’s significantly short. Makes him look professional, mature. You like it, really like it. you wish you could just reach over and touch it, it’d probably be just as soft as you remember it and smell like lavender. You notice how he has it styled and gelled back so you doubt he’d be happy with you running your hands in it.
Jungkook spent an ungodly amount of time trying to get it to look like this, which he doesn’t think is perfect enough, but he was running out of time. Something about this meeting had him wanting to go out. He just hopes you like it. he remembers you last saw it when it was longer. It was a big cut, but after your breakup, he felt like giving up the length, considering your hands loved to live in his hair.
You sit hand in lap waiting for your mouth to catch up with how fast your brain is working. Though if you did speak what your brain was thinking, you’d embarrass yourself.
“We should order first.” He says rolling up the sleeves of his navy-blue denim shirt. The action reminding of the inks on his arm. A detail that adds to how attractive he is already. You’re really hating yourself for your thoughts. In your defence you haven’t seen him in the flesh for a year. “What do you wanna get?” he picks up his menu and you do too, stuttering in your movement. He seems calmer than you right now.
But the only thing is that he’s shitting himself inside. when he was sat before you came, his heart dropped every time he heard the door bells chime. Every time he turned it wasn’t you. Only increasing his nervousness. Maybe he was a little to forward with his message. You haven’t seen each other in a while and it’d probably be overwhelming, especially with a certain elephant in the room. He would’ve definitely understood if you didn’t want to show. On the chime of the door that followed his thoughts, he didn’t turn, only for it to be you. In your full glory, making him fidget with his phone more. Which he put aside immediately you sat down.
Clearing your throat you speak, “something soup-y. Today’s a little cold.” And you don’t feel like throwing up what you eat.
Jungkook agrees and his red nose is evidence of that. Cute, you think.
After your orders are taken you turn back to silence. What could you probably say right now? You can feel the distance between you emotionally. And you hate how this is how you are after not seeing each other for a year. Before breaking up you thought of the many ways, you’d hug him once you got to see him. You were definitely delusional over how serious your distance was. Really wanting to believe it wouldn’t be a problem; until it became one, and you just couldn’t do it anymore.
You don’t know how to behave right now.
“So, when did you get back?” you settle on a soft and casual tone.
“Just yesterday.” He speaks sounding a little hesitant. After not knowing where to look you decide to just look at one thing. The table.
After beats of silence, you continue. Can your food come any faster? “you’re staying with your parents?”
“Yeah.”
You lived together, in your used to be shared apartment before he decided to move. So, his only option was to live with his parents for the mean time. He assumed you wouldn’t want or even let him live with you. And it would be fair, you aren’t together anymore.
“I’m Sure they were shocked to see how much you’ve change.” Cause you are. You haven’t seen his parents in the same time that he hasn’t seen them.
“It was a surprise drop in so I’m sure they were” he says with weak chuckle. He bites into his lip before he’s looking at you again, but you don’t stare at him. It’s only when you realize his stare that you finally face him. “How have you been? You look well.” He’s dreading himself right now for not being able to speak to someone who has been, for 3 years, the only person he could speak to.
You do look good, and he can’t take his mind off it. the camera has not been doing you justice. Your skin looks brighter and you generally are just glowing. Gosh he missed looking at you. The way small dainty jewellery serves to compliment your outfit. Your hair done in a way you like, and he loves.
“I try.” You smile. Every chance you get you take a glace at his lip piercing. You’d forgotten just how it made him even the more--. “You look well too. How’s the job going?”
He sucks in a breath, showing visible stress at the thought of his job. “it’s going okay. Easiest way to put it.” he chuckles, awkwardly. You smile, awkwardly too. “I missed it here though, so much stuff I left behind.”
You just hum, nodding. Avoiding how his eyes glancing over you, just for a second as he was looking for where to keep his gaze whilst speaking.
“But I’m sure you’re having fun that side.” That side. He can hear the strength you put on the words. Instead of fiddling on your lap you decide to fold your arms on your chest. Finding it appropriate for the feelings that are sneaking in.
“You can say that, but there’s just something that feels empty y’know.” You do know, but you both choose to leave the conversation implicit.
And right on time, your food arrives saving you from saying anything. What the heck would you say when you can’t even think.
You two are soon digging into your food. Jungkook in his kimchi jjigae and you in yours.
“I missed this- mmm.” He hums making that little angry face he makes when he likes food. You laugh, a little to loud at that causing him to look up at you. You drop your smile.
“Mrs Kim always asks me about you when I come here.” 6 slices of chopped spring onion garnish you haven’t eaten, yet.
He leans back in his chair, unintentionally watching you eat.
He turns his head towards the kitchen where the lady in question usually spends her time. “Where is she anyways?” he’s back to digging into his food. the steam from the food warming his cold nose.
“she’s visiting sung Hoon in the US.” You inform him, taking in how relaxed you’ve become.
He nods at the info, “Ahh- she finally got to got to the US?” he smiles. He remembers how she would come to the table; she’d complain that her son doesn’t want her to visit, which was not the case. But being the dramatic lady she is, she would think that. “ ’m sure she was so excited.”
“no one could hear the end of it.”
He chuckles and you find yourself laughing too. But as much as you’re seemingly getting comfortable (though not wholly.) silence finds a way to wrap it’s long, cold and slimy finger around you two.
After you’re done eating your meals in silence, jungkook thinks it’s time to discuss the reason you’re even meeting. Cause you have nothing more to talk about.
“what’s the plan for the trip?” he shifts in his seat. “Assuming you’d want to go.” He doubts.
You take a deep breath before speaking, looking over at the whole scene of the restaurant. “I don’t know, we’d leave on Thursday. Assuming you’d want to go too.” You would want to go, that’s why you booked the trip. It’s only your situation that makes it awkward.
“Do you?” his question comes out fast and sudden and he regrets how quick it came out.
“Mm?” you mutter like you couldn’t hear what he said.
He clarifies choosing to speak more calmly and composed. “Do you want to go?”
The question takes you aback as though you hadn’t been asking yourself the same thing.
Reaching to play with the little gem on your necklace you stutter out. “I-I mean- yeah we spent money on it.” you shrug your shoulders as if you’re unconsciously saying otherwise, but really, you’re just trying to keep your statement open. In case he doesn’t want to go, and you’re left embarrassed with an extra ticket.
Jungkook instead takes your action as you probably not wanting to go. “I get it if you don’t. It’s a weird situation.” His hands move to touching his hair.
You trying to jump in but end up speaking a little too fast. “No, I do. Plus, I hate wasting money.” You do hate wasting money, truly. And it is just that and the fact that you would love a trip right now, to de-stress.
“But do you want to go with me?” that churning feeling in your stomach is returning, and you’ve just eaten which makes it all the much better.
Biting down on your lip and releasing it you say, “I mean I wouldn’t want to go on my own.” You hate how you feel your throat choking up. “Who else would I go with?” you awkwardly joke. There are some people you’d go with. But you planned this trip with jungkook and he paid the much for the tickets. So, it’s only fair to go with him. If he wants to.
He skips your question, not in bad taste. it’d be weird for you to go on a trip you planned with him with someone else. Maybe he did think of it, that maybe you’d enjoy it more if you weren’t with him. But then he thought it through. Shit doesn’t have to be awkward unless you both make it. so, you can enjoy this trip if you just agree to enjoy it. “I don’t mind going with you, but I don’t want you to feel forced to have me there.”
“I have no problem with you, jungkook.” You saying his name even though it’s not the pet name he enjoys feels like a warm touch to him. “I just want to know if you wanna go.” You find it in you to ask.
“I don’t mind it at all.” He says, relieving you of your fears.
He sighs. After he silence speaks. “I can’t believe I forgot about it. I was so excited for it too.” he reminiscing on the day. It was such a good idea. Is a good idea, if you just agree to enjoy it.
“So? It’s settled right?“ You sit up grabbing your stuff and preparing to leave. Jungkook’s smile falls realizing that the moment is ending. But he will see you soon still.
“Yeah.” He prepares to leave too.
“We leave Thursday, I guess. We’ll stay in touch.”
And that’s it, your conversation ends with you managing to avoid the larger topic at hand. It’s like a game.
You throw your clothes in haphazardly. You’re in a panic, which is not necessary cause you have enough time, the whole day to be precise. Your flight’s tomorrow. But the whole airport thing has always found a way to make you panic.
You grab some essentials, but in frustration. Maybe you just want to get it over with. The packing, not the trip. Honestly it feels like it’s already started. Is this how you’re going to be.
As you search through your closet you land on a sweater, one you remember too well. It’s green colour and fluffy soft texture makes it the warmest thing you own. A very memorable sweater, for the warmth it brought you and its origin. You can still smell him on it. You dread packing it and resort to shoving it further in your closet. You’ll think about it.
You stare at your zipped up suitcase for a bit before your eyes gloss over to your phone that buzzes on your bed. For a split second you wonder if it’s jungkook. Could he have changed his mind. you sigh relived when you see it’s just jimin.
Who chooses to say nothing of value and just tease you. “Honestly why do I tell him these things.” You throw your phone on your bed.
Jungkook stands over his already packed suitcase. He just has to zip it closed and seal this trip. He sighs rubbing his lower lip. Before you two broke up he had so much planned for this trip. So much he wanted to say and do. But it's different now and it’d be weird and wrong to say those things. Not before talking of course.
Is he looking forward to this trip? Yes-wait- maybe. The trip in itself is fine, a great and good idea and opportunity to enjoy a holiday and relax. But your presence entails something more something he has to deal with (in a responsible and good way) and that he's been running away from.
"You're excited huh?" his mother smiles leaning against his door frame, watching. He's not sure what about his facial expression, body language or general demeanour would make her think that he's excited. It’s not like he’s dreading or regretting it. it’s more like excitement is the last thing he’s feeling cause of all he’s thinking of.
He doesn't say anything before she's speaking again.
"You need this trip. you've been so busy." He has. Too much at that. So much that he forgot you two had even broken up and was about to go to your place first when he arrived. He’d been so excited to surprise you, then it dawned on him. His tires were quick to turning. His thoughts are cut short by his mother. "it'll help you spend more time with yn."
"I guess." he replies unenthusiastically. Though it’s the same idea they’re both thinking of it in a different context. Something that his mother doesn’t know yet.
He doesn't stare at where she stands only at his suitcase analysing what he's packed and what the heck is actually going on. "Plus, it would be a perfect place to propose." She enthuses, joyous at the thought. He seems to have slightly forgotten about that detail too.
When you were planning the trip, he made a plan to propose to you on it. It honestly is the perfect place to and he felt like it was the right time. Of course, you'd be arguing but it wasn't something that was holding back your relationship. Plus, he thought you'd talked it out well enough. So, he spent his free time after planning the trip, shopping for rings and looking proposal ideas and even asked some of his colleagues for advice. It’d be a trip where you got to spend some time after being away for so long.
But that's when you called and honestly kicked him in the balls. Too confused he just went along with it.
"Switzerland is such a good choice, you kids are so good at these things." She says probably imaging herself there too. It’s not long before his eyes are staring at the black velvet box on his dressing table, and his head is spinning all over again. He knows how excited she gets about this and she won’t stop. “You could take a walk and then pull out the Ring with those mountains in the back and-"
"Eomma!" His deep voice stops her, not harshly but whiny. Not telling his parents about the breakup is honestly the most overwhelming thing because of how his mother adores you and finds a way to bring you up in every conversation. she could go on but the tired look on her son's face makes her stop. She wants to pry on why he looks more drained that ecstatic but she chooses against it.
”Is something wrong?”
He realizes just how carried away he’s getting with his emotions. He shakes his head. “no. I’m just stressed.” He finally looks up at her to give a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes but she returns.
"Sorry, you know how I get carried away. I'm sure you have your own plan let me not stress you."
She leaves and he sighs
No. He has no plan of his own. He has no plan at all.
Your suitcase handle is firmly clutched into your hand as you walk into the airport.
Your eyes scan the crowd. Every face. Each bag too, because you know which one he'd probably be carrying with him. Seeing it again is gonna be triggering cause the last time you saw it was the last time you saw him off.
You and jungkook agreed to come separately and since his parents lived closer to the airport he'd be here first and wait for you by security. But now that you're there you can't see him. Maybe he's a little late but why wouldn't he tell you.
You told him you had just arrived but he hasn't even seen that message. Has he changed his mind? is the first thing that pops up in your head. If he has that's a shitty way to do it. Just ghost you?
So, you pull out your phone to call him. “Pick up." You mutter under your breath.
No answer.
You feel stupid. It honestly feels like you're on a Lifetime show or even worse TLC.
Your annoyance bubbles over as you glance around the busy security area. "Where is he?" you ask yourself.
Though you think he has, you doubt jungkook would just ghost you. It's not what you know him to be. You tap your foot impatiently and try to call him again. Still nothing. Your heart finally relaxes when you spot him already walking to you. "Seriously?" You say a little upset when he finally reaches. "Why didn't you answer your phone?"
"Oh. I didn't hear it." He says pulling it out of his pocket. "Must be on silent. I’m sorry." He looks at you genuinely so. And you can’t bring yourself to be as mad as you want to be. It’s not a big deal, he’s here now.
“it’s okay, we should get going, we’re almost late.” You say frustrated with how traffic delayed your arrival. Jungkook just hums agreeing and surprising you by taking you suitcase. You’d tell him it’s fine and you can manage but he’s already walking ahead of you. Probably not wanting to hear it.
A tense silence stretches between you two as you wait to board your plane. Sitting side by side has never felt so awkward, like the space between you is miles wide. You scroll through your phone, pretending to be so into it. You don’t notice Jungkook stealing occasional glances at you. Or rather, at the sweater you’re wearing—the one he gave you (more like you took.) just before he moved to another town. The green complimenting your skin. He loves how it just melts to fit you. He’s glad to know that you’re warm, he’s aware of how incredibly warm it is.
He wonders if you’re wearing it deliberately, or if it’s just because it’s the warmest thing you own, and today’s even colder than yesterday. Probably no meaning behind it. At least, that’s what he tells himself. Though it’s not enough to stop him from developing a smile on his face, one he covers with his hand.
The low hum of voices and the faint crackle of the airport announcements fill the silence. Someone walks past, dragging a squeaky suitcase, the airport noises the only thing between the two of you.
“I know this is awkward.” He starts randomly, at first doubting he was talking to you but then you move your attention to him, when you realize it’s only you he can be talking to. It’s not like you were looking at anything on your phone. “I want us to enjoy it. I want you to enjoy it.”
“I want you to enjoy it too.” You find yourself speaking before your brain can process.
He smiles and turns to meet your eyes. All of a sudden, he feels so close. “So can we just pretend.” His eyes don’t move, if possible, they stare even deeper into yours. Yours don’t move as well. “Pretend like everything’s okay.” He speaks low as if he doesn’t want others around to hear. “Agree?”
You haven’t said much, instead just let him speak. “Agreed.”
You don’t mind pretending. You’ve been pretending you’re okay all this time, so why can’t you do it now.
-
You watch Jungkook sliding the bags into the overhead storage above your seats. He notices you approaching and nods for you to have the window seat.
“You sure?” you ask only because he called dibs when you planned the trip that he’d be getting the window seat.
He nods. “Yeah. I know you like it more than I do.” You do. He only called dibs because he was trying to ‘one up’ you like everything’s a game.
You squeeze passed him get comfortable in your seat and he’s soon sitting next to you. You’re glad it’s just two seats.
You sit in silence for most of the flight, each pretending to be too absorbed in your own activities to notice the other. Jungkook watches you out of the corner of his eye as you scroll through your phone, then switch to reading a book. This trip can’t be that bad, you tell yourself. Of course, you two haven’t talked about your breakup, but it doesn’t have to come up. You’ll just enjoy the weekend and go back to normal, like he said—pretend---if either of you even knows what that means.
What are the boundaries of pretending.
At some point, you shift in your seat, leaning against him, your head resting on his shoulder. You’re asleep, of course, but Jungkook glances down at you, momentarily startled. He considers waking you but decides against it. Instead, he leans back slightly, letting you stay there.
As the plane hums softly and moves through the sky, Jungkook can’t help but wonder if this trip could be his chance to fix things. How does he want it to happen? Does he even know? All he knows it that you do eventually have to talk about things. Do you even want to talk about it, because you seem to be avoiding it.
But there’s only so much avoiding you can do.
As soon as the plane lands, you stretch in your seat, surprised you managed to sleep for that long. Glancing at Jungkook, you watch as he pulls the luggage from the overhead bin. He looks like he didn’t get any sleep at all, you had been sleeping on his shoulder for most of the time. You exchange a brief look—just acknowledging each other and your present moment—before heading off the plane
The crisp Swiss air hits you as you step outside the terminal, and you follow Jungkook as he gets into a cab and it drives confidently toward a car rental area, which you’re confused about but don’t ask. Jungkook picks up keys from the reception and you walk through the parkin lot looking for what you don’t know. You’re just following. You stare at him puzzled as he dangles the keys. He’s been quiet, and you hadn’t even expected to rent a car. Public transport seemed like the plan, but now that you think about it, you remember how Jungkook feels about it.
“You rented a car?” you raise a brow.
He nods, “yeah, it’d be easier. Thought you’d approve.”
He catches a glance of your face, like you’re trying to figure something out, but can’t.
“Hmm.” You only hum.
“You look cute when you’re confused”. He takes you by surprise. “Come on.” He says walking and not letting you process his words. You just try to shake them out of your head.
You don’t admit it, but you're impressed. He thought ahead. And you’re honestly glad he did—something you feel he’s been lacking the past year.
Once he’s done packing the luggage into the car, he closes the trunk and slides into the driver’s seat. You’re not sure why you’re shocked to find out it’s a Mercedes-benz g63 amg. You’d always known he had an obsession with luxury cars, especially ones like this. The fact that his job pays so well certainly helps, you guess moving out of town must’ve been worth it.
The car is great-- so comfortable, and the heater works perfectly, keeping you warm against the cold.
As Jungkook adjusts the mirrors, you scroll through your contacts, trying to figure out what to call the person you booked the cabin with, “what do I call them a host?” You mutter under your breath before dialling the number.
Jungkook glances at you as you speak to the host in quick tones. "Got it, thanks," you say, giving a quick wave of your phone toward Jungkook. With the directions noted you can now get to moving.
"Okay, so we head north, then take-“
“North?" Jungkook interrupts, starting the engine. "Are you sure it's not west or whatever?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.
You glare at him. He glances at one map and thinks he knows his way around Switzerland.
"I just talked to the guy," you say flatly.
Jungkook smirks, recalling a past trip. "Remember last time we travelled, and we ended up on a dead-end street?" he says with a cheeky smile on his face. he’s teasing you.
You roll your eyes at the memory. You had been driving through the outskirts, and your GPS got wonky, causing you to go down a deserted road.
“If you’d listened to me, we wouldn’t have gotten lost,” you reply.
You stop bickering, finally following the GPS. Jungkook decides to follow the directions, and the tension eases as you leave the city behind.
The atmosphere shifts, replaced by a sense of awe at the breathtaking scenery. Low-capped mountains stretch into the horizon, Swiss chalets dot the landscape, and the sun reflects off the lakes. You’re glad you arrived during the day; cause nighttime would not have done the view justice.
You watch out the window, your voice filled with awe. "Oh my gosh, it's so beautiful." Jungkook glances at your direction before returning his attention to the road. "Yeah, it is," he agrees, equally mesmerized by the view.
"Can you grab my camera from the back?" he askes. Recalling his passion for photography, you can’t be surprised he has it with him.
You pull out the camera from his bag, noticing it’s larger and more expensive looking than the one you had gifted him. "Do you still have your other one?" you’re curious.
He knows what you’re hinting to. "It fell in water during a fishing trip with my team, but I'm getting it fixed."
“Do you still have the pictures.” You’d hate to lose them, even though they are null and void now, you still like how happy you looked in them.
“Yeah. They’re in my SD.” He informs you and you’re glad.
You fumble with the new camera, struggling to operate its buttons, he notices. "There's a button just there," he directs. Though you aren’t much of a photographer, you manage to snap some decent shots of the scene. You take a lot to make sure you have options.
Feeling playful, you turn the camera to jungkook and snap a pic of him. You had always admired his model-like features and often joked he should pursue modelling instead of his current path, which kept him 218 miles away. But now you realize modelling would only take him even farther.
He never agreed to the idea but never argued either. He preferred to appreciate beauty rather than be the centre of attention.
"Did you just take a picture of me?" he asks, a hint of surprise in his voice.
"Yeah, just one," you reply.
He doesn’t respond, leaving you to wonder what he’s thinking. Is he upset? Did you cross a pretending line?
"Wanna stop and take pictures," he grins, "y’know for your Instagram."
It’s not a bad idea, but you don’t want to be late and have the host waiting for too long.
"We won't be long." he looks over to see if you’re considering. He smiles when sees that you are. You don't post much on Instagram, and he knows that. But it wouldn't hurt to have some pictures from this trip.
"Let's be quick," you accept.
He pulls over to the side of the road and when you’re out he’s approaching you to take the camera. "Let me take some of you first," you insist. He isn’t so keen on it though.
"Just a few," you whine dodging him trying to take it from your hands.
"We're supposed to be quick." He reminds you. "And you know I'm not a fan of pictures of me."
You not wanting to bicker. You hand it over to him. "But I will take pictures of you eventually," it’s a promise.
You quickly get posing on a spot you like, and he snaps several pictures. Some you were prepared for, while others were candid of you looking up a bird flying over, like you’ve never seen a bird before. or just in awe of the scene behind. Why do the birds seem so majestic here?
Jungkook smiles as he continues to take photos, forgetting the time. "I think that's enough. We're going to be late," you say, running out of poses to do.
You start walking to the car and he snaps one more picture of the scene before getting back and starting the car. Whilst adjusting to the warmth he hands you the camera.
"These are so pretty," you bulge your eyes out at how good jungkook is at taking pictures. You can definitely see the difference. Jungkook can’t help but feel a sense of pride. You scroll through the camera, admiring more pictures.
Then you scroll a little too far and notice a series of photos featuring a friend—someone he seems to be close to. In one, she leans on his shoulder, a gesture that causes some type of discomfort or irritation. You couldn’t be sure, you’re too busy scrolling. She smiles too hard, you judge.
gosh you're pathetic. Why are you acting like this. The man is not your boyfriend he can do whatever. The statement causes an unwanted sour taste to form over your taste buds.
You continue to scroll, analysing the photos, each one deepening your insecurities.
"Careful, you're gonna damage the buttons," Jungkook jokes when he notices your rushed movement. He wonders what has you that way.
When he speaks, you’re brought back to reality. Though you’re brought back with an attitude. You switch off the device and lay it back where you found it, sitting back down with a scowl on your face and jungkook wonders the cause.
You had been fine just a moment ago. He doesn’t say anything and focuses fully on the road ahead. The silent drive to the cabin feels anything but aesthetic.
You sigh as the car slows, leaving behind the snow-covered path. When you approach the cabin, it’s instantly recognizable from the photo. At least you weren’t lost or scammed. The place looks serene. It’s blanketed in snow. It’s not like those huge family ones. It’s small just to fit you and jungkook. You’d have no money to buy anything or activities if you booked those larger ones. And they’re unnecessary cause it’s just the two of you.
Jungkook parks the car, and as you both step out, the awkwardness that’s shadowed the trip returns. It had been there from the beginning, lingering beneath exchanges and strained silences. Brief moments, like taking pictures earlier, had been relieving, but even that had soured quickly. Now, neither of you had much to say.
The cabin’s host, a kind older man with a thick Swiss accent, greets you warmly, showing you around the cozy interior and pointing out the back patio before leaving. Once alone, you both quietly bring in the luggage. The silence is deafening, broken only by the crunch of snow you step on.
Due to your irritation that some how still lingered you step a little too hard on the icy ground, and in an instant, your foot slips. You land awkwardly in a mix of snow and dirt, the impact cushioned but still hurting.
“Are you okay?” Jungkook calls, his voice tinged with concern and amusement. He’d drop the luggage to come check on you if you hadn’t brushed him away with your hand.
Still irritated, now cause of the fall, you dust yourself off and move yourself inside. You drop the luggage in bedroom and start taking off your sweater, only to have Jungkook walk in moments later.
“One bed,” he states, looking at the large, centred piece of furniture. “Looks comfy.” You seem to have forgotten the cabin was lover’s themed, so it did only have one bed. The host had asked you if it was a problem when he saw the look on your face but you just brushed it away at you being tired.
You glance at the bed, then at him. “Yeah. Guess you’ll have to take the couch,” you joke, though your tone comes out flatter than intended.
“Nope.” He flops onto the bed, which creaks under his weight, making him pause to check if it’s broken. When it holds, he relaxes. “I’m sleeping right here.”
You sigh, deciding it’s not worth arguing. You’ve shared a bed before—it shouldn’t be a big deal so many times at that. But those times are not now and you have to deal with your new circumstance.
“I’m gonna take a shower,” you announce, expecting him to leave the room. Instead, he sprawls comfortably on the bed.
“Knock yourself out,” he replies casually.
Groaning, you grab your toiletries and head to the bathroom. The hot water feels like a gift, relaxing your tense muscles. If only the whole trip could feel this peaceful.
When you return, Jungkook is gone, though his shoes by the door confirm he hasn’t gone far. You search through your suitcase for a sweater, only to realize you packed just one sweater—the one now wet and dirty. Frustration bubbles as you grab a thin, long-sleeved shirt. It’ll have to do, though you doubt it’ll keep you warm in tomorrow’s outdoor activities.
Meanwhile, Jungkook in the kitchen has immersed himself in exploring the layout of it. whilst on his expedition his attention drifts to a tiny blue bird minding its business outside the window. He leans into it but carefully not to scare it away. Thankfully it doesn’t seem to find him a bother. “Got any advice for me?” he murmurs, taking a peek behind him. The bird doesn’t react, oblivious to his internal conflict. He’s unsure—about you, about himself, about what this trip is supposed to accomplish.
When you enter the kitchen and done talking to his new friend who doesn’t present him with anything viable but his company, he’s quick to point out the lack of groceries. “We should go shopping. It’s on your itinerary, right?” he teases lightly.
You nod, unsurprised he remembers. You’d always been the planner, the one who thought of everything. Maybe that’s why the breakup hurt so much—it came so suddenly, leaving no time to plan how to feel or move on.
As he’s about to suggest leaving immediately, he notices you rubbing your arms. “Aren’t you cold?” he asks, gesturing to your thin shirt.
“I’m fine,” you reply dismissively, though you clearly aren’t.
“Put on a sweater before you get sick,” he insists. His boyfriend instincts linger, even now.
You hesitate but eventually admit, “I forgot to pack an extra one.” The way how stares at you is so embarrassing for you.
Jungkook chuckles softly, though not unkindly. “Of course you did.” You roll your eyes. He moves to grab a sweater from his suitcase and hands it to you. “Here. Borrow this.”
You take it, the faint scent of his cologne that seems to be on everything he wears no matter how much he washes, invaded your senses. “Thanks,” you say quietly, slipping it on and hoping not to ruin this one too.
By the time you return from the store, exhaustion settles in. You both sit in the living room, cups of hot cocoa in hand. Jungkook flips through the channels while you sit quietly, the warmth of his sweater and the fire calming you.
“You’ve made a lot of friends in Jeju,” you say suddenly, your tone sharper than intended.
Jungkook pauses, confused. “What friends?”
“Colleagues, maybe? Customers? I saw the pictures on your camera,” you admit, staring into your cup instead of at him.
He leans back, waiting. He knows what you’re referring to and could explain that the woman in the photos was a client a little too excited and touchy about her wedding rehearsal photos, and had wanted photos with him. But he wants you to ask.
Instead, the silence stretches, filled with unspoken questions—questions about Jeju, the photos, the breakup, and even yourself. You sigh, pushing them aside.
“is there something you wanna ask?”
“There’s nothing I want to ask,” you finally say, though the bitterness in your voice betrays the truth.
Jungkook laughs softly, shaking his head. “I thought we agreed on pretending.” His voice is still soft.
“I know. Just don’t want you pretending if you’ve got other things going on.”
Jungkook chuckles taking a sip of his cocoa.” I’m good.”
“I’m good too.”
“Good.”
You watch him stand a sly smirk adoring his face. “let’s go back to pretending now, okay?” he says looking at you.
You mumble a sure and he walks off. Probably to sleep.
Sleeping the same bed is even more awkward. After spending some minutes you’d decide you were too tired to be awake, you came the bedroom.
Jungkook was still awake staring at his phone, and for some reason shirtless. He likes to sleep shirtless and the tension between you two isn’t going to stop him.
Jungkook tries to keep his eyes to himself as you change into your pajamas. You didn’t want to be childish so you just changed right there. It’s nothing he’s never seen before. He won’t act like the action doesn’t cause a rise in memories and he holds himself to not thinking further. Soon you’re crawling into your side and laying facing away from him. Jungkook chooses to lie on his back, the bed big enough for you to keep your distance. He turns off the lights but your eyes remain open staring into the dark.
As the night continues, none of you are able to fall asleep. Jungkook tries to make himself comfortable, his shifting cause you to think he might be moving closer, but he doesn’t. why do you feel sad. Your brain is used to being close to him and him holding you in situations like this. And he too is used to wrapping his arms around you and pulling you closer into him. But there’s none of that.
“I can’t fucking sleep.” he groans frustratedly sitting up. He runs his hands in his hair. He looks over at you thinking you’re asleep, the darkness preventing him from actually knowing. He’s jealous at the idea of you being able to sleep, but when your frustrated voice sounds, he’s relieved. Relieved that he’s not the only not able to sleep.
“Same.” You mutter remaining on your side.
Jungkook huffs and puffs contemplating on asking what he’d been debating. Your bodies are probably used to sleeping closer to each other, so maybe that’s’ why it’s hard. You surely won’t mind if it means you get to sleep right?
He looks over to you and how far you seem from. He doesn’t like, hates the reality of it. “Can I sleep closer to you.” His words and the fact that he actually said takes you aback. You freeze. Your silence is killing him, he shouldn’t have said it. he should take it back, well—but he’s already sai-
“Okay.” Okay? Well, that was easy, he thought you’d be looking at him weird. but no, you just lay on your side waiting for him.
When he said closer you never thought he meant this close. You’re the closest you can be. But you don’t mind it, it actually brings you that giddy feeling, like it’s your first time cuddling. You realize just how much you missed it. He nuzzles his face in your neck and this is when he’d kiss your shoulder and neck but he doesn’t and the detail is gravely missed. He has to hold himself from not doing it.
“We’re going to move to the middle of the bed, darling.” It’s only then that you realize how much at the edge you were. You shuffle yourselves and move into the center and get comfortable in the position.
“Are you comfortable?”
So much you hate to say it. You can’t even bring yourself to be angry. “y-yeah.” You can barely respond coherently with how his voice is so close sending goosebumps all over you.
“Can I put my around you? It’s the only place I can put it.” he tries to explain, but you were actually hoping for it.
You nod for him to go ahead and he wraps his arm around you. Honestly, he should’ve just asked if he could cuddle you, because this is basically what you’re doing. He didn’t have to mask it; you’d have said yes either way. He doesn’t know that though.
Now that you’re close to him and him to you, you both weirdly fall asleep, very quickly at that.
First thing on your itinerary was to visit the Lindt home of chocolate you’d been drooling at the thought of it since you planned this trip. It would honestly be a crime to visit Switzerland and not visit the Lindt factory. Being a lover of chocolate no activity on your list will be as good as this.
“I don’t know why they have us putting our bags away.” Jungkook whines taking off his jacket, as required and placing it in a locker. “How am I supposed to carry my chocolate.” His speech is almost childlike. You just chuckle.
” That’s why they do it.” You inform him, with a soft smile and start to walk ahead of him. Jungkook walks behind you, watching how you look around with wonder.
Did he mention how good he feels right now. The sleep he had last night was the best he’s had in a while. And it only serves to tell him how much he’s missed your presence. Just you as a whole. Being away from you for so long has had an effect on him too. It’s only now, that he’s not able to do all the things he used to do, that he realizes how much he’s missed it. And how much you mean to him.
“Oh my gosh.” Jungkook watches how you take in the aroma of chocolate. It invades his senses and when you’re turning around to check on him, he’s nodding. You want him to enjoy this just as you are.
You gasp and it’s when you spot the huge chocolate fountain that you pull Jungkook’s attention to it by his arm. “it’s so fucking huge.” You say still holding onto him.
“that’s what she said.”
You roll your eyes. “Grow up.” You both laugh. and it’s when you’re lost in laughter and admiring the fountain that jungkook looks down to see you still holding his arm. So, in a swift action of no thought, all instinct he moves to hold your hand.
Your head sharply moves to look at him then at his hand holding yours and then back up at him. He’s got this innocent smile on his face and you can’t help but warm up into his hold. You don’t mind the action of holding hands but you fear what it implies. Is he for real or still pretending?
For the first minutes you stay holding hands, until jungkook is pulling away to grab his camera. You rub you hands together to try and regain your sense of independence. What the heck are you doing, holding hands? This pretending thing Is a good idea, but it’s definitely messing with you in some way. All ways. He’s giving you things that you’ve been craving. The cuddle at night, the holding hands, you’ve missed it all. But you don’t know where it’s coming from, does he miss you too or is he pretending. To think of it you never really discussed what type of pretending you’re doing. Are you pretending to still be together or are you pretending to be good friends. Gosh this is so stressful. And confusing. You wonder if he’s stressing like you are. He seems calm. He’s handling this so well.
“Wait—I need a picture of you. Stand still.” He points the camera to you and you’re quick to turning your head away.
“it’s fine you don’t need to-” snap.
He doesn’t give you the time to object and just snaps. “Jungkook stop taking pictures of me.” He doesn’t. you’re embarrassed to be doing this in public. But he seems thrilled. “Okay wait-” he doesn’t so you choose to reaching for the Lense. But jungkook doesn’t mind filling his storage with pictures of your palm. “Kook, wait.”
“Kook?” he questions smiling. You realize your mistake. Honestly you didn’t mean to call him that, it just came out naturally for you to get him to stop. And it worked. Though now it shifts the air.
You groan. “I didn’t mean it like that.” You roll your eyes. You don’t even know what you’re saying.
He doesn’t linger on it more, which honestly helps your case. The blush on your face is deserving of a picture. Snap.
“Stop that before I revoke your privileges.” You threaten. He doesn’t want that.
He raises his hands in surrender. “won’t do it again.”
You ignore him and turn to keep walking.
“Can take more later though?”
You don’t answer, but he takes it as a yes. You’ve always been his muse, it’s not gonna stop now. His camara is now getting some action.
This place is actually so beautiful, smells amazing too. The pictures you saw did not do it justice.
“Look at the strawberries, the nuts. Ah—I’m in heaven.”
Jungkook smiles as he watches enjoy and pointing for him to look at the large container, of everything that goes well with chocolate. He’s really just happy that you’re including him, by telling him how much you freaking love this place or how you want to stay here forever. It makes him feel like things aren’t all that bad between the two of you and it can be fixed.
“Why are you looking at me like that.” You narrow your eyes at him. Gosh he forgot how long he was looking for. You’d been telling him something but he zoned out.
“Oh-nothing.” He clears his throat.
You just brush it off, cause if you linger on it, you’ll melt. Jungkook looking at you has been a weakness for you, there’s just something about him focusing on you and having only you in sight. “Anyway, I was saying try this.”
He doesn’t regain his consciousness before you’re bringing a spoon full of chocolate to his lips. he takes it, tasting the sweetness of it.
He licks the chocolate off his lips when you pull away. “Mmm….so good.” You nod glad that he likes it. Though way he’s looking at you makes you think he might not be talking about the chocolate. You choose to ignore your thoughts with a cough.
As you go on you learn facts about chocolate and the factory and jungkook takes the pictures. When walking around you make sure to not forget to collect little pieces of chocolate from the dispensers. And it’s not long before your hands are getting full.
When your expedition is over, you’re returning to your bags to stuff them with your treasure.
“This is a lot of chocolate.” Jungkook states.
You shake your head. “it’s not that much.”
“Yeah of course an addict is telling me that.”
You gasp. “I’m not an addict.”
“Tell that to all the money I’ve spent buying you chocolate.” Money which it didn’t mind and loved spending.
“Honestly that’s all on you.” You say raising your hands. He chuckles.
Getting tired you both decide to go by the café inside the factory. Whilst there you both order some food to eat which is not chocolate, except you. For your beverage you picked to drink the famous hot cocoa. Which tastes like heaven made it themselves.
“How do I take this home with me?” you say motioning to your drink.
“Just stay.” He meant to say you both could just stay, but his tongue tripped.
You nod, thinking about it. “I could.” Moving to Switzerland and living here would be a dream. But unfortunately, things aren’t that easy. Finding a job would be hard, plus the language barrier would kill you.
“don’t.” he’s almost pleading. “I don’t know how I’d tell your family I lost you to Switzerland.” More like he doesn’t know how he’d fix things.
“Honestly it’s no competition.” You say in deep thought and analysis.
“What? you would leave me for Switzerland?” He says it not realizing causing you to chuckle. And when you look at him, he gets it.
The conversation doesn’t go farther after that. Jungkook just stays in his thought. When jungkook had made the decision to move. He honestly thought it wouldn’t be that bad. He’d plan on maybe moving you out to him when he settled down, but your job was a very hot topic. At the time he hadn’t realized how serious it was. But now he does.
If it was you moving, he’d be just as hurt. And it pissing him off that he hadn’t realize the impact.
For your second and last activity for the day, cause of the way time just flies by; is the largest indoor flea market.
You spend your time there; just looking around, eating, and buying stuff. During your move you make it a mission to take pictures of jungkook. And you do manage to take some good ones.
He also finds an opportunity to ask about your work and how it’s going. And if that co-worker that bothers you is still around. He’s glad to learn that she did get moved to another department. He’s happy with whatever makes you comfortable.
As you’re talking, you’re approached by a couple, older but not old and tourists as well. They ask you to take a picture of them and jungkook is glad to assist. When he’s done, they’re happy and offer to take a picture of you too, jungkook wants to decline the offer assuming you wouldn’t want to but you’re quick to accepting.
“you two look so lovely together.” The lady says and you have no clue what to say apart form an awkward thank you. You wouldn’t blame them for thinking you’re a couple, not with the way jungkook is smiling at the picture.
“Grow up kook.”
“What?” he whines. “It’s a good photo.”
You roll your eyes before walking away. He follows behind you, smiling.
-----
Soon your day on paper comes to an end and you’re returning to the cabin.
You did not know what to expect of your day in the morning. Your night was okay but would the rest of the day go the same? those were some of your thoughts. But to your pleasure the day went well, great even. You just hope it’s the same for the rest of the trip.
Jungkook is on cocoa duty (not assigned but he took the responsibility.) and you’d be lying if you said he didn’t do a good job at it every time.
Leaning against the counter holding your mug and watching him finishes up with his own, you watch.
“How’d you like the Lindt factory?”
He takes a sip before answering. “Great. Honestly enjoyed it more than I thought.”
“What? You don’t trust my judgement?” you watch as he leans on the counter opposite from you.
“it’s not that. Just never thought I was that big of a chocolate fan.”
You hum. Silence fills the kitchen as you’re just enjoying the drink. Why does the air feel so thick, is it the way he just leans there. Pajamas not doing a very good job at hiding his physique. Why the hell does he look buffer. Gosh, his arms look like they’d lift and lay you to your demise. In the morning you caught a glimpse of his shirtless torso, and you were about to lose your cool. To add gasoline to the fire he had just stepped out the shower and had not completely dried. Geez, if it wasn’t for your ability to leave the room, you don’t know what you would’ve done or said.
Jungkook has always had a keen eye for your little frustrated looks, the way you don’t blink, the way you wrap your hands around yourself or how you cross your legs. He knows. It’s the details he’s aware of. No one knows you like he does.
“I like this sweater on you.” He says pointing to the green sweater you’d just gotten back from the dry cleaners.
You look down at it. “Because it’s yours?” you raise a brow as you take a sip of your cocoa.
He shakes his head looking your body up. “no. because you look good in it.” He’s biting his lip, then his playing with that little lip ring. Yn, hold yourself.
You choke out a chuckle. “Jungkook.” It’s a warning for him. But he doesn’t take it.
“What? It’s not my fault you look good in all my clothes.” gosh you’re gonna die choking on this liquid. “Makes me want to just hand over my closet to you.” He’s coming closer to you, gosh what the fuck, he approaches but it’s the sink you’re standing in front he wants. You move. He rinses his mug, tired of the drink.
“Well, that won’t be necessary.” you say sliding away from his towering figure. Just to catch your breath, cause you’ve been holding it. Jungkook laughs at the movement. Just after, you’re rinsing your cup and placing it in the cupboard. You’re not gonna die choking on cocoa, or jungkook as a matter of fact.
“Think I’m going to bed.” You state thinking the bedroom will be your only place of solace away from him.
“Me too. I’m getting sleepy.”
You’re stiff as he walks behind you. You hope you’ll be able to sleep on your own tonight. Cause if jungkook just as much as touches you, you’ll turn into a puddle.
You’re quick to moving to your side and facing away from him as to not see him taking of his shirt. You know because you hear it drop.
“Goodnight.” He says turning off the light.
With all your might you mumble a goodnight to him too.
Tonight, you manage to fall asleep without cuddling. You sleep back-to-back close enough to feel the heat radiating off the other.
Jungkook wanted, so badly to go skiing after seeing an advertisement for it and saw some people do it on your way to the cabin. You’re not one for these intense sports but since he went with you to the Lindt factory, you thought it’d only be fair to go as well. Just accompany him.
Though his won’t be sweet and rewarding.
“You wanna go with me?” he asks teasingly and you shake your head, as soon as you process his words.” come on.” He whines.
“I’ll just cheer you on from down here.” The process of skiing looks terrifying. What do you mean you had to go on those zip line things, and slide down. Not you. Nope.
“it’s not that bad. You’ll be with me.”
Though it sounds comforting it doesn’t change anything. “I’ll just stay here looking around and taking pictures for you.” You smile hoping it convinces him.
He chuckles, his bunny smile on show for you.” baby what are you so scared of?” the pet name comes out smoothly, catching you by surprise. But it does seat itself in and warm your heart.
“it’s just scary.” You wrap your arms around your body.
He sighs watching you closely. “Fine, but can we do something as exciting, later.” He stares at you scattering your brain for what he could be referring to. “Like ice skating.” Oh—he was thinking ice skating. Last night has your mind in a whirlwind.
“That sounds better.” Jungkook laughs cause it’s basically the same thing, but he won’t get into it.
“Okay then.” He says walking to the register. “we’ll do that later.” It’s a promise.
Jungkook is off skiing and you’re sat in doors, still able to watch the outside activities, landscape and events thought the large window. You don’t mind not going skiing, it’s not like it was on your list.
While you’re sat you decide it’d be a good time to call jimin and let him in on your trip so far.
“it’s not as awkward, anymore. It was at first. But then we just agreed to just enjoy the trip for the sake of our money.”
“The sake of your money?” he mocks.
You choke out a laugh. “Yes, for the money.” Is it? “he’s been nice and all. It’s actually not bad.” Jimin hums as he listens, this time at least you have his attention.
You’ve shockingly enjoyed the trip more than you thought, so far. If you just keep on, the whole trip could go well and you’d be back to your normal lives. You hate the sickness you feel at the thought. The trip will end, it is gonna end and you’ll be back to what you were before. Gosh.
“Sounds like the trip is going a little too well.”
You scoff. “it’s not that, we’re both just chill.”
“No fucking or kissing.”
You gasp and look around like someone could’ve heard that, but your phone is to your ear. “jimin! Oh my gosh.” The thought of it has you blushing still.
“Just sayin’. Jungkook’s probably dying. ”
You roll your eyes. He’s fine, you’re fine.
You go on talking but soon you have to end the call. Immediately you cut the call and stuff your phone in your pocket a figure sits next to you. Male, not jungkook. You pay no mind to him. you’re on a public bench anyone can sit next to you. He’s just in his own business. Is what you think until he’s reaching over to talk to you.
“Exciting isn’t it.” when he speaks you catch his foreign accent, not Swiss. Must be a tourist like you.
You awkwardly furrow your brows. “Huh?”
“Skiing.” He points.
Then it clicks that that’s what he’s talking about.
“I presume.” You say modestly. Why the heck is he talking to you.
“Presume? Haven’t you gone?”
“no.” You shake your head chuckling. “it’s not for me.”
“You can’t say that. You haven’t even tried.” You internally roll your eyes. Why does he seem to care so much. “Plus, why come to Switzerland in the winter and not try skiing.”
You don’t know why you carry on this conversation, but you feel like justifying yourself. “Honestly I just came for the Lindt factory.” You say shamelessly causing the stranger to laugh. he doesn’t seem like a weirdo or creep, but you can never know. He’s probably not talking to you out of pure interest. So, you try to keep your distance.
“you’ve been?”
“Yeah. Yesterday.”
He hums sound interested and you know this conversation isn’t ending anytime soon. “How was it?”
You scoff internally. “It was fun. Would recommend you’ll love it.” You don’t even know him; how would you know he’d like it. And to be fair you’d add that Jungkook’s presence made the place more exciting to be at. You assume he doesn’t have a jungkook. Speaking of jungkook, how long is he going to be? You should’ve just gone out on a walk instead.
He nods. “Well maybe you can show me.” You pause, okay now you’re starting to get uncomfortable. “I’m sorry I don’t mean it like that. It’s just that I came alone and it would be nice to have someone show me around.” He justifies but it doesn’t make you any more comfortable. “I’d pay for your ticket if that’s the issue.”
You chuckle. “I’m a tourist to, there’s not much I can show you.”
“I mean you’ve visited the Lindt, so you know more than me.” Gosh he’s so adamant.
You smile awkwardly wishing jungkook would just pop up.
“you’d be better off going with someone else.” You’re looking around as if you’ve lost something. The man catches on to the action.
“Am I making you uncomfortable.” Yes. very.
“No-” before you can finish your lie of a statement, Jungkook’s interrupts, voice anything but kind.
“Yes, you are.” He says firmly, body not open for discussion.
The guy turns to look at you, then jungkook, then back at you. “Do you know him?”
Hesitantly you respond. “yeah” you debate on what to say. “He’s a friend.” He is isn’t he?
Friend? Jungkook chuckles internally. “Excuse us.” He spits out to the man.
The guy is taken aback, but just stands. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” You just nod and give him an awkward smile as he walks away.
You sigh relieved that he’s gone.
You and jungkook share a glance before he’s sitting down.
“Friend?” Jungkook asks when he sits next to you.
You raise a brow. “What? you wanted me to lie?”
“Lie?” he says even stronger. You don’t know what he’s pointing to right now.
“Are you parrot?” You chuckle trying to get smart with him.
Jungkook scoffs at how you avoid his eyes. “You couldn’t have said I was your boyfriend.”
“But you’re not.” You spit out a little quickly.
When you turn to look at him you catch how his jaw clenches. And if you weren’t arguing right now, you’d think it’s the hottest thing. “But you could’ve just lied so he leaves you alone. Now he’s probably going to try to approach you again.”
“he’s not going to.” You say naively.
Jungkook is getting frustrated with this, a little more than he should. “I know guys like that, he’s going wait for a time when I’m not around and attack.”
“Attack?” you laugh at his word choice. Your laughter only serves to his anger. “You’re being dramatic”
“I’m not being dramatic, I’m being serious” his statement comes out a little strong and louder than you’d like
“don’t yell.” You warn him and he apologizes. “I get you feel like you need to protect me, but relax.”
He laughs at the way you think. You thinking he’s feeling like he needs to, no, he needs to. He wants to.
“I don’t feel like, I need to, I want to.”
You don’t say anything, he knows he’s got you, what more could you say. There’s nothing. Jungkook is the protective type, has always been. He’s shown you that many times in your relationship. And then, it made sense but now you feel like he shouldn’t have to bother himself with it. You’re not his responsibility anymore. “We should get ready to go for lunch.” you stand walking away.
Jungkook follows after you, knowing you’re now gonna give him attitude. Your folded arms are evidence of that. He’d normally just kiss the attitude away but for obvious reason he can’t.
-
“you’re not gonna ask how skiing was?” He tries really hard to open the air for conversation. He hates it when you argue. So, he tries to everything he can to lighten the air.
You stare down at your food. Your eyes not meeting him once. “How was it?” you don’t even sound interested which you hate because you are. You love to hear jungkook talk about things he loves.
“It was great.” He explains not into going into much detail like he wanted to. Your energy demoralizes him. “I’m sure they’re still open if you still want to try. He suggests but you’re quick to shaking your head.
When he’s about to say something, he’s getting interrupted. It’s a girl, the one he met when skiing. She showed him around some routes since she’s a local.
“Yn, this is Lena. I met her whilst skiing.” He says introducing you. “Lena this is yn, my friend.”
Fuck now you know how bad it stings.
“Hey yn. How are you liking you trip so far?” she asks politely in an accent.
You stare her up, taking in her features. She looks about your age, and gorgeous. Why is your body so rigid. Speak. “Umm- hi-I’m liking it well enough. Thanks.” you can hear how stiff and awkward your speech is. Gosh yn she hasn’t done anything to you, chill. Smile.
Jungkook breaks into your awkward encounter. “I’m gonna be seeing you at the ice rink, right?”
He says and she smiles a little too hard. You roll your eyes. What does he mean he’s gonna see her there. Is the a you and him trip anymore? Your food doesn’t look as appetizing anymore. “Yeah. I’m there often during the holidays.”
The way her voice rings in your head is jarring. Make it stop.
Soon your prayers are answered and she’s leaving. Though unlike her your heavy heart stays.
Jungkook turns to you, still staring at her route of exit. “You, okay?” your eyes return.
You shift your eyes to your hands. “Yeah, I’m just tired.” You stand from the table choosing to leave. “I think I’m gonna stop by the cabin.”
Jungkook is confused. But he just takes you as you are.
“Sure, let me get-” he threatens to stand.
“no. I’ll just take a train.”
He sits down. If you want to be alone it’s best if he lets you be.
When you get to the cabin, all alone. You find yourself falling into deep thought.
The pretend play you and jungkook are playing is good for you to enjoy the trip, but you won’t deny how much it only covers your true feelings. You play pretend and feel all these feelings as though you’re still together and then the trip ends and you’re sucked into being apart. And it’s him leaving all over again.
You’re getting sick of it. There’s only so much pretending you can do.
Jungkook: ice skating later today?
He wants to be sure you haven’t changed your mind.
Not matter your emotions you still want to enjoy the trip.
You: sure. Meet you there.
When you make it to the ice rink, your mood is still tense from lunch, which is your fault for holding on to the emotions for so long. To only sour your mood more, you spot jungkook talking to the Lena girl from lunch.
You roll your eyes and watch how she giggles a little too hard at something he says. Jungkook is a funny guy, but she shouldn’t be laughing, whatever he’s said can’t be that funny. This is so irritating. Why the hell is she even here.
When jungkook spots you, he has on a huge grin, but the sour look on your face has him dropping it. He thought maybe you wouldn’t be still upset by now. But he’s wrong. “Yn you’re here.” He says it like he wasn’t expecting you and you weren’t meant to be here, or that’s how you hear it.
“We made plans, didn’t we?” your tone is nothing more than flat and irritated.
“We did.” He turns. “You remember Lena?” He turns to point at her, like you can’t see her. Why’s she looking at you.
Oh, could you forget her. “I do.” You jeer.
“Hi.” she with her perfect smile. You’d liked to punch it in—your of course—you’d never actually so it.
“Hey.” It comes out awkward and strained. Wanting to get things over with you turn to jungkook immediately. “what’re we doing now?”
“Um. We’ll have to get the skates.” He turns to Lena for some type of consultation, you scoff.
“Yeah, this way.” she says turning to lead the way.
Jungkook turns to you, your folded arms the first thing he sees. He stands next to you. “You get here okay?” you didn’t arrive together which means you had to take public transport, which he knows you don’t mind but he just wants to check on you.
“Yeah.” You mutter before walking ahead of him. Do you even know where you’re going?
You want to enjoy it, but the emotions that are ahead of you block you from doing so completely. And of course, Lena is a pro at skating.
Jungkook is fairly good, for someone who’s just taken it up. You’d attribute that to his quick learner personality.
You on the other hand are struggling, and it’s pissing you off. You hold on to the half wall and glide. There’s a good amount of people around and honestly, it’s embarrassing. -like- there are even small kids better at it than you. It’d be better if you just stopped. There are probably other activities you could do. Ice skating (or skiing) is not the end all be all of Switzerland.
Jungkook would probably enjoy skating more with Lena, seeing that they skied together earlier. You question why jungkook even ever liked you in the first place. You’re not cool like Lena or even as adventurous, you do try but you don’t feel it’s enough. He’s better off with someone like her. It’s good you broke up so that he can be free to do whatever. The thought stabs at your heart.
Jungkook spots you from where he is walking out. The look on your face anything but happy. He’s swift to skating to you, making sure not to bump into anymore with how fast he’s moving. “Where you going?”
His concerned and soft voice only intensifies your frustration. Could he not see how irritated and bad at this you are. He was probably too busy to notice. He’s always busy.
“You haven’t even travelled the while ring.” He chuckles awkwardly as you step off. He follows.
“I don’t know, I’m just not feeling it.” You don’t even dare look at him, because you know if you do your frustration will win and you’ll end up yelling or crying. And both are too embarrassing to do in public.
Jungkook scoffs. Jungkook can’t tell what’s going on with you but it’s definitely disturbing your ability to enjoy anything. He wants you to enjoy. But what’s irritating him is how you don’t want to communicate what you’re feeling to him. He’s always made himself a safe space for you to open up. But you never take it. Ever since he m0ved you’ve been distant, physically and emotionally. It’s frustrating cause all he wants is to be close to you in all ways. “You were not feeling skiing and now you’re not feeling this?”
Is he blaming you for not enjoying this? It’s not your fault you feel this way. You don’t even want to be feeling like this. You do want to enjoy skating, gosh you want to, so bad. But there’s just so much you’re holding on too that pretending can’t solve.
“Jungkook I’m not any good at this.” You gesture around eyes starting to sting when you watch how other people have fun while you argue. “You just go have fun with your Leni or Lena whatever.” You act like you aren’t sure of her name.
It’s the way you say it, the force and strain in the word. The way you look to the crowd in a jittering stare looking for her that let’s jungkook know what this is all about. Did it come off like that? She’s just a girl he met whilst skiing, he honestly never thought that far. Never thought you’d be thinking of it.
“Is this because of her?” he questions eyebrows furrowed trying to look at your face that’s staring down. Why the hell are this shoe laces so hard to untie. you just want to cut them off, but you’d probably have to pay for damages. Shit
Your frustration is replaced with another type of embarrassment, when jungkook is on his knee to replace his hands with yours to help you take the laces off. You just want the ground to swallow you right now. Unlike you Jungkook’s calmness is able to take the laces off. He tries to help you into your other shoes but you just brush him off. He moves.
Standing up and looking at you he asks. Voice calm like usual. “Is it?” you’d even forgotten his previous question. Do you have to answer him?
“I don’t know how it would be when you two are off to the other side of the ring. I’ve barely talked to her.” That’s exactly the problem why the heck do you feel like this when you haven’t gotten to know the girl. You barely know her intentions.
“It is.”
You groan rolling your eyes. “If you want help skating, I can help you. I’m sorry that I got carried away.” It’s probably one of the things you’re mad about. He just fucking left you like you didn’t make plans to come here together. Yeah, maybe your attitude made the distance between you, but he should know how to deal with it by now. Gosh you’ve been together for a good 3 years. He should know how you are.
And he does. That’s why he insists you’re acting like this cause of Lena. well, she’s probably just a catalyst and there’s something deeper that you two have to address.
You stand looking up at him, but he’s towering figure doesn’t make you as intimidating as you want to feel. “You don’t have to be sorry about anything, why? Cause you always know what you’re doing.”
“You know it’d be better if you just said it directly.” Whatever it is, because he wants to know. You want to walk past him but his hand around your wrist stops you. You look at it then at him. He’s not smiling, but not mad. Just concerned.
“I don’t--I’m not saying anything.” You snatch it form his grip and he lets you.
Jungkook’s face scrunches up in frustration. “That’s what you always say, then pull shit like this.”
You pause and stare at right in his--round eyes that are now, siren. “Shit like what?”
“This. Your fucking attitude.” He almost loses his tone but remembers that you’re in public, which is so fucking embarrassing. “You never want to talk about things.” He looks around for any watching eyes.
You just glare at him. Maybe you don’t like expressing yourself to him anymore. You’ve noticed it too. It had been hard for you to express yourself to him over a call, and sometimes shitty network. There had been days where you wanted to cry on his shoulders but only had the screen to rely on, so guess what you did. Nothing. You didn’t cry, you didn’t tell him anything. You’d just cry on your pillow after the call ends. “Maybe I don’t cause I know you won’t listen.”
That’s a hit to his ego. To him as a person.
“That’s bullshit and you know it. I always listen to you.” The blank look on your face has him questioning himself. “of course, I’m not perfect.”
You chuckle bitterly.
“Just go off to your little girlfriend.” And there it is, a confirmation of what he already knew.
You start walking to the entrance. And he follows. Shoes on. He’s not going to be able to skate with the heaviness in his heart. He’d end up sinking into the ice, which doesn’t sound so bad right now. “Come on.” He swiftly moves to standing Infront of you. He blocks you from moving and you just give up and just decide to look at his jaw, not wanting to look directly at him. Which was not a good idea, cause of how he clenches it. You look up into his eyes. “you’re jealous?”
“Who?” he’s a parrot and now you’re an owl, he wants to say but finds it inappropriate for your mood.
“You are so jealous.”
“I’m no-”
“don’t lie to me.” You try to push at his chest for him to move out of your way, but your plan backfires giving him leeway to hold your hand firmly to his chest. Hard as a rock even through he’s sweater. “Tell me why you’re jealous.”
Instead of answering him directly you try to change the topic. You swear you can feel his heart beat through his sweater.
“Don’t act like I couldn’t see you jealous too when that guy approached me.” You try to one-up.
“I was jealous.” His confession has you wanting you dig a hole and hide yourself. It’s so easy for him to say, you weren’t even enjoying your conversation with that guy. “Difference with me is that I can say it.”
Shit. Shit. What do you say now. Get angrier, that always works, well not really.
“Whatever. I’m not jealous.” You look away from him. Are you really doing this in public. Jungkook doesn’t look like he gives a fuck right now, he just wants an answer. One which he’s not going to get.
“Tell me what you’re so jealous about?” his voice lowers
“How many times do I have to say I’m not jealous.” Till you can’t deny it anymore, the thought runs through Jungkook’s mind. “Just go have your fun.” You finally decide you’re tired of feeling his heart beat perfectly.
“you’re so ridiculous y’know.” He watches you move slight away, anger not faltering one bit. You’re determined to being upset. “can’t we just talk about this. It seems to be bothering you.”
It is. It’s fucking gnawing at your heart, your lungs, your mind.
“Nothing’s bothering me, I’m fine.” You breathe in, relaxing and calming down just a bit. “I just don’t want to be out there all on my own, while you’re having fun with some else.” Jungkook licks his lip. He doesn’t have anything else to say. What he has to say can’t be said here or whilst you’re unable to hear.
“I’m going home.” You pass by him and he doesn’t bother turning to watch you walk out.
“Korea?” it’s possible for you to want to leave. And the thought causes him to bite down hard on his bottom lip. Cause if you leave on these terms, nothing’s gonna change and he’d never get another chance. You’d avoid him like the plague.
“No, the cabin.” You state and he’s relieved. “Have fun.”
“Everything okay?” jungkook is startled by Lena’s voice who walked around to find him after she noticed he was gone.
“Yeah.” You force a smile. “I’ll just get going.” He informs her. He already has his stuff so there’s no need for him to go back inside. “Thanks for getting us in, though we didn’t even stay long.”
“No problem. It was fun, wish I got to talk to her.”
“Yeah, she isn’t normally like that.” Cause you aren’t.
“I understand.”
You don’t immediately go to the cabin. Instead, you go to the sauna you had been eyeing. It could probably be the only way to relax you. The sweat dripping down will mask the real tears falling down your face. You’re glad you’re alone right now.
You have your head leaned back thinking about what had just previously happened. The thoughts not wanting to leave you.
You hear the door open but you don’t bother looking, you’ve got a lot to think about. “hey stranger..” the familiar voice speaks just as shocked. You sharply open your eyes. Wondering if it’s you he’s speaking to but you’re just the two of you in here.
You’re just the two of you.
“didn’t expect to find you here.” He says setting himself down just in front of you and you looking at him oddly. Do you have bad luck?
“hmm” you chuckle awkwardly. You make a plan to gradually scoot yourself to the door. Being with him here does make you uncomfortable but you try to stay to enjoy what’s left of your time. You expect silence but the man doesn’t see on the same level. “Went to the Lindt factory like you said. Was honestly the best of everything.”
“I’m glad you liked it.” you say like you’re a worker at the factory or care.
“It would’ve been better if you came too.”
You awkwardly chuckle and finally decide to sit up. You came here to think and relax but this guy couldn’t be more of a bother. “I’m sure I would’ve just made it worse.”
He chuckles and smiles your way. A smile you do not reciprocate “I doubt.”
“Is your friend around?” Now you should fucking leave.
“Mm?” you ask like you didn’t hear. Fucking sirens are blaring. He’s not giving off I’m gonna leap at your vibe. It’s more of his inability to give up that bugs you. “Oh- ahh yeah. He’s gonna be here.”
He turns to look at the door like Jungkook’s about to walk through the door, but he doesn’t. gosh you wish he would. “isn’t it hard to have male friends like him.” You look at him brows furrowed, confused. You wait for him to elaborate and he’s quick to it. “Protective.” He says.
“how?”
“makes it hard for you to live your live and get to know people.” You laugh. it’s not like jungkook has his hands on you and pulling you away from people who want to talk to you. He’s actually for it but he just has a good discernment of creeps. As you sit here you reflect on his words from before when you initially met the guy. Gosh you should really start listening to jungkook. Makes you realize how right he is—sometimes--
“no.” your tone is sharp that the soft one you’d been giving him.
He shakes his head. He lifts his hands in defence saying, “I think he’s doing too much.” Now you’re getting upset, visibly so, which is not lost to the man. Who the fuck does he thinks he is. He’s the one doing too much, “I’m not some weirdo, I promise.” He hasn’t shown any signs of it yet, but you don’t give a fuck and you’re not gonna wait around for him to show it.
“I think you’re doing too much.” You snare abruptly standing up. He can tell the irritation on your face and is about to defend himself but you’re quick to cutting in. you’re not about to have it.
“I don’t know how your long your trip is but if you see me around, please don’t speak to me.”
“Wait.” You don’t.
Sauna time done you decide to go back to the cabin, feeling anything but relaxed. Daylight already lost.
Today has honestly knocked you out, as though you’ve done anything energy straining. It’s more of an emotional strain. When you walk in jungkook isn’t anywhere to be seen. So, you just assume he never got back. Makes you wonder where the hell he is and why he didn’t tell you, but you’re in no place to convict him cause you never informed him of your sauna endeavours as well. You’re both grown adults and can move around Switzerland without the other—but—why do you feel entitled to know where he is. You lost those privileges when you broke up and now when you left him at the rink.
Maybe a steamy shower will do what the sauna didn’t finish cause of you interruption. After that you decide to end your night early, you’ve got nothing to do after all.
you toss and turn in bed, barely able to get a linear sleeping time. Everything just feels so weird and off. Even worse than in the beginning. It’s all a different type of awkward, which you hate. Jungkook isn’t sleeping next to you which prompts you to checking the time.
1:39am your phone tells you.
Where the hell is he, you’re starting to get scared. You’re not worried about his safety cause jungkook is very capable in that sector, --well unless he got shot—shot? Why are thinking of that. Who’d fucking shot him, let alone in Switzerland. He’s never been in any trouble with the law or anyone. You’re getting paranoid, if you don’t see jungkook in the flesh, well and not wounded, you’re gonna lose your mind.
Putting on the sweater that has been a staple and carried you through the trip you walk out the bedroom to the open floor living room. you sigh when you don’t spot jungkook. You won’t be able to go back to sleep even if you wanted to. Cause you don’t feel like it and are losing your mind. As you’re standing in the living room like an anxiety ridden mom waiting for their teenager child at midnight, you hear it. It’s wood chopping sounds. Harsh and fast. You do have some cabins around you so it could be your neighbours—but no--the sound is closer to yours, like it’s just outside. So, you curiously walk to the door which would lead you closer to the sound. Maybe you aren’t as afraid cause you assume it’s jungkook. And it is.
You relax when you spot his figure well and healthy.
He doesn’t notice as you stand watching him. bottom lip chewed down on. Why the hell is he chopping wood at 1 in the morning.
You want to say something. You need to. Maybe apologize about what happened at the rink, you have a fair share in the argument. Since waking up or maybe after the sauna you realized how childish your behaviour was. You ruined the moment. When you could’ve just asked jungkook to help you and he would’ve been there, hadn’t you chosen to give into your irritation. Irritation of seeing him with a woman. There you said it.
His muscles flex as he moves to drop the axe down on the wood.
This is not what you want for you and jungkook. Arguing and not able to talk or share air. It’s not what you want. Even if things do officially end, you’d want to end it on calm and friendlier terms.
As you watch him you notice how his jaw tightens. He’s not just chopping wood. You start to worry for him when his movements grow harsher, of the larger chunk of wood.
“What did the wood do to you?” you try to be neutral.
He didn’t notice you behind him. So, he’s startled by the sound of your voice. Turning to look at you holding yourself in the door way, he chooses to take a break. He got so carried away he forgot he was cutting wood for the fire place and had cut too much. He drops the axe into snow. “Ditched me at the ice rink.” He says going to pick up some pieces of wood to bring inside.
Fuck you feel so bad. You stay silent watching him until he’s brought all the wood in and finally closing the door. Which allows for the warmth from the now blazing fire to fill the house. Now in warmer climate, jungkook takes off his large sweater and you drop your arms that were still wrapped around you.
“I’m sorry about that.” You mumble softly. He stands at the sink, you assume to make himself something warm.
“it’s okay, it’s not like I went all the way to stay in touch with some girl so she could get me—us--a good deal at the ice rink. Then I take you there and you ditch the thing entirely.”
You do feel horrible about to, but his tone irritates you causing you to respond as just that. Which you immediately regret.
“I left you with her, weren’t you happy with that.” You have an interesting way of saying things that bother you.
Jungkook pauses his actions and stares at you with a seriously confused face. He scoffs. You’re not making sense. “You know that’s not what I wanted.” He returns to his mug. “I wanted to spend it with you.” His voices calms.
Fuck. Uhm what do you say. You should probably say you’re sorry. “I’m sorry.”
Jungkook just listening. He just doesn’t understand, he wishes you could just be straight forward. Frustrated and tired of hiding behind a task, he drops the cup to give you, his attention.
“Did I say something wrong?” you stand where you are but jungkook moves. To you. You panic but he doesn’t walk closer than a few feet from you. You don’t know how you’d handle yourself if he came any closer. At the rink you almost died. “At the rink?” he clarifies like you’re not fully aware. He just wants to make sure that you’re on the same page. Cause you can think of other times he might have feared he’d said something wrong. “I honestly shouldn’t even have started talking to her.” He rubs a hand over his face.
Jungkook has never been malicious to you in your friendship before or relationship. Or even now. He’s been cordial. He’s the only man who’s treated so well and calmingly. Of course he has his imperfections, you both do. But it doesn’t take from how well he’s treated you. He never crosses a line.
“it’s not even that.” You’re looking off to the side and holding yourself again,
Gosh, he’s really holding himself right now. He bites his lower lip and clenches his jaw to hold himself back from just walking up to you and making you look him in the eyes. “Then what’s wrong. Please talk to me.” He pleads.
“I don’t know,” you whisper still looking beyond him, your voice is barely audible.
He’s begging, really for you to just tell him something. “Please don’t say that.” He responds, his tone a mix of frustration and pleading. He steps closer just a few centimetres away, if you unfolded your arms you’d probably bump into his chest.
“I don’t-” you start but your voice cuts you off, “it’s the way you-” you aren’t able to finish. What are you going to do with yourself. This is embarrassing, you can barely form or organize your thoughts and your mouth can barely move to speak. You’re not even going to talk about how hard it is for you to look him in the eyes. You just settle with staring at his other supporting features. His hair, his ears (that are red from what you assume is frustration—it’s not--), his eyebrows and then you skip to look at his nose--
“was it me talking to that girl?”
“I don’t wanna talk about it.” You push away slightly.
“But we have--you know what--I want to.” He moves to block your action of walking away. You thought you were strong enough. You thought you’d manage to talk about this. But you can’t. not when it makes you want to cry. “I want to talk about it.” His voice is stern but not harsh. It’s just strong enough to let you know he’s not letting this go. It’s funny how something so insignificant can cause you to be in this situation. Forced to express and confront your emotions, the one’s you’ve been running from since the trip began, the one’s you told yourselves you’d pretend didn’t exist. You fooled yourselves by dodging the topic.
Now you’re here. “While we’re at it we can talk about why you broke up with me.” He’s not asking if you can talk about it, he’s telling you it has to be talked about and he’s not gonna let it go by. Not this time.
At his words, all your emotions unite to form a single unit of defence. “me? you agreed too.” You point at him face scowling.
“I only did cause it’s what you wanted, and I didn’t want to hold you back.”
You stare confused. “Hold me back from what?” what the fuck does he think you’ve been doing. You hope he doesn’t think you’ve been out and about since breaking up, that’s been the last thing on your mind.
“From living the life, you wanted to, without me.” His upset at the thought leading his voice to come out a little passive aggressive.
He does think that, you can see it. “Without you? I don’t want that.” You state. “But how can I live a life with you when you’re miles away, always busy. And can barely visit.” You just talk. Finally, your gears are moving. But the problem is that so are the tears. “You moving away is you choosing to live without me too.” You choke on your words a little. “Even I didn’t want to tie you to me or hold you back from your dreams that’s why I tried to li- live with it, but it got so unbearable kook. I couldn’t take it. it felt like I was alone. In fact, I was alone.”
Jungkook feels sick hearing that you felt alone.
“You know I did try.” His voice is soft, moving himself into your circle. You let him. He can’t help himself but cup your cheek. The action feels comforting, almost relieving. At least he’s here and you’re not talking over the phone, makes it much easier for you to sink into his touch.
You hold the wrist that’s caressing your cheek. Gosh you want to keep his touch here forever. “I know that’s what hurts more you tried but it still wasn’t enough. I really did want it to work. I still do.” On your last sentence you look up at him and he’s already staring at you, the thump of his other hand coming swiftly to wipe your stray tears. You sniffle. “Cause honestly I’ve missed you kook.” You feel comforted playing with the end of his sweater. “So much. I miss how we were before you moved. When it was easier for us to be together.” your fingers take a journey from the bottom of his sweater to the neck.
Your palms lay flat on his chest and his hands move to softly hold your wrist, not to move you away but you keep there.
“I know we said we’d pretend. A-and I thought I could. But I can’t kook.” On cue with his name, you look up at him. “fuck- I never knew how much I hate seeing you talk to other—" you can’t finish your sentence, but it’s okay cause he’s finished for you in his mind. “I’m sorry for attitude.”
He glides his hands from your wrists down your arms until they are both on your waist. “I’m sorry too.” He’s pulling you closer, your hands still on his chest, but now for stability. “I’m so sorry I was too distracted for you. You didn’t deserve that. You don’t serve that.” He’s caressing your back. “okay?” you have to answer but you can only bring yourself to nodding. All he’s ever wanted was to know. Know what was wrong and how he could fix it.
“I’ve missed you too.” He smiles lightly bringing his nose to brush against yours. The action has you tilting your head upwards. His lips itch to touch yours, but they don’t they just hover, he still has more to say. And he wants to say it close enough for you to feel it. “If only you knew how I dreaded every morning and realized you weren’t next to me. Every time I just wanted to fly back home.”
“So, what stopped you.” You’re looking at his lips. his rosy and moist lips from how hard he’s been biting and licking on that. You wanna do that. You wanna kiss him, wanna be the only biting down on his lips. you wanna do a lot of things right now. You wanna run your hands through his hair remind yourself of its texture, you wanna lift that sweater off, that holds his cologne so well, the earthy lavender scent, that crawls its way through your system. You wanna take that sweater off him, --feel, see—just how much that gym membership as proved itself valuable. You know you won’t be disappointed, jungkook loves the fucking gym.
“I don’t even know. But all I know is that it’s not gonna stop me anymore.” Him nudging his nose closer has you tilting your head to meet his lips. the air between you feels heavy. The feeling pulling your lips to meet. And when the do, it’s fervent. His kiss is urgent but slow, not wanting to be apart from you for a second.
Your bodies are hooked together as Jungkook is moving you back into a wall. The kiss intensifies when he leans your head back with his hand around your neck. You’re gripping onto his sweater for support and breathing him in for life.
Jungkook clings onto your lips for life too, even if he needs to breath he doesn’t stop. You moaning into his mouth will suffice. He doesn’t know where to keep his hands. Should he use them to tilt your head back to deepen the kiss, (if he goes any deeper he’s gonna sink.) whilst he uses the other to pull you leg up by your thighs, his grip surely leaving crescent moons as decorations. He doesn’t know what to do with them. For the moment he uses them to pull he sweater over his head. You’ve been clawing at it to come off.
Now shirtless you can feel his skin for what you remember it to be silky-smooth. So delicate that you fear leaving scratch marks on him, but jungkook encourages it, he begs you to do it. Your hands roam his body, first his large back, muscles flexed, then down his firm chest then down to his defined midsection. “What am I to do with all this.” You say breathless.
“You tell me. It’s all yours.” Your lips are meeting again. Tongues tagging at each other. For some reason the rich, sweet and completely irresistible taste of chocolate lingers on your lips, but he loves it and is drinking it up.
Jungkook finds that his hands are better at gripping your thigh and lifting it to wrap around his waist. His core moves into you and you feel how hard he is against you. You’re thankful for his thin pajama pants.
Your hands pull at the root of his hair, though it’s shorter you make it work, making him groan into your mouth. You both can’t fucking breath at this point, which is the only reason you’re pulling away. Your heavy breaths brushing against each other.
“jungk-” you’re moaning for him to take you to bed but he’s steps ahead of you. Your feet don’t have to fret cause he’s lifting you by the thighs to lay you on the edge of the bed.
You lay back on the bed but legs on his shoulder, he’s kneeling between your legs. Your pants are still on but not for long. In a swift motion you’re left in your plain black panties. The ones with the little bow. He chuckles at the detail. When you see what he’s laughing at you get self conscious. Jungkook looks up at you confused why you’re closing your legs.
“I didn’t know we’d be in this position, so these are the one I brought.” You try to explain yourself cheeks blushing red. He doesn’t know why you’re so insecure about the detail. He loves them.
For a quick kiss he’s on his feet hovering over you. “it’s okay, I like my gifts wrapped in bows.” He smirks and the comment has you calling out his name in shock. peck. He’s back on his knees staring at your core. The bow is a detail he’ll miss but he’d gotta take them off. Fuck is all he can think when your cunt is right in front of him, wet. Is this where he’s meant to die, right in your cunt from suffocation cause he won’t be able to detach himself from you.
Your legs are planted on his shoulder, your ass just at the edge of the bed. When he first swipes his tongue through your folds, it takes you by surprise. Gosh you missed him being right there.
“fuck” you whimper the sound not being able to be masked. Your slick, probably mixed with his saliva, drips down your cunt, down his chin. His nose is so deep in it that some of your juices run up his nose. Is this how fucking cocaine sniffers feel? He can’t wait till his cock is buried snuggly it. He sniffs in, on purpose this time, takin git once more. You grind on his face making him suck harder at your clit. You’re getting dizzy and gripping hard at the sheets. His nails dig into your thighs harshly, the pain causing pleasure.
Everything is so intense you can’t tell apart your orgasm. Fuck you can’t be coming this fast from just his tongue. Shit. “Jungkook. Don’t stop” You whine the intense feeling approaching quick, your walls tightening and fluttering around his tongue. Jungkook’s so carried away he only realizes you’re coming when your legs are shaking. He drinks everything that leaves and it’s only when you’re pulling his head back from overstimulation that he realizes he should take a breath. He’s starved can you blame him?
“you’re so gorgeous baby.” he says peppering kisses on your thighs. “Wanna do that again for me.” He’d absolutely would eat you out for a second time in a row. And you’d love that but you just want to feel him.
You’re moving up the bed and he’s hovering over you kissing your jaw. Your palms meet his ass in a teasing smack.
“Missed this ass.” You smile under him. jungkook just chuckles. you want to add on but his finger stuffing your tight cunt has you silent, gasping for air.
Jungkook smiles down at your pleasure strained face. “mm? not so talkative now?”
He thinks he’s got you. Then you slide down your hand down his abs, he knows where your hand travels and though it’ll destroy his ego, he lets you do it. “so big” you bite your bottom lip as you start stroking him, using your own juices as lubricate. He’s walls are falling. Your hand wrapped around him, has him burying his moans in the croak of your neck.
It’s a competition huh? he loves those second and fucking your cunt first.
You’re stroking him in his pants and he’s pumping his fingers in your cunt. He’s kissing you to hide his moans. It’s a fucking competition and he’s losing. He can’t lose. His hand leaves your cunt to grab at your wrist. You stop. He pulls you away from him. if you went on any longer, he’d be done for and the night wouldn’t end the way he wants. He hasn’t been touched in a year, unless it’s talking about those times you sexted, but it doesn’t count. It feels different when it’s your hands.
“why’d you do that?” you whine.
“If you did that you wouldn’t have gotten the orgasms I have left for you.” You don’t respond. you won’t argue, you do want them.
His fingers are back to pumping and even sooner than before your climax approaches. He wishes he could count just how much you flutter around his finger but he’s too busy looking at your face, pleasure written all over it. and its pride that fills him, knowing he’s the one giving it to you.
Jungkook moves away and you watch how he licks his fingers clean. The way he smiles at you after, is disgustingly hot.
“Take off your pants.” You tell him.
“You take off your shirt.” He reciprocates, you’d forgotten you’d even been wearing anything.
Jungkook is spoiled by the sight before him, your chest sprawled out for him to taste. So, he leans down and wraps his tongue around a nipple. His hand lost at the other side. You love all the foreplay, really, but you want him. you’ve been thinking about it for forever.
“Jungkook.” You call. He hums saying you have his attention. “I want you.”
There’s nothing more he wants.
“Want you too baby.” He says grabbing his cock and aligning it with your entrance. Then he remembers.
“fuck” he whispers. You sit up and wander what has him holding back.
“what?”
“I don’t have a condom.” He knows he doesn’t have one, it’d be weird, it’s not like he was coming on this trip expecting to fuck you.
“Why?” he stares at you confused.
“I didn’t expect fucking to be on the itinerary.”
Oh yeah, you laugh at himself.
“Do you?”
“Nope. Why would I have them.” He just shrugs his shoulders.
He’s gonna lose it. “Are you on the pill?” it’s his only option.
That’s when you shake your head. “Got off when we broke up.”
Okay so what is he gonna do, his cock hard and your cunt right in front of him.
“Jungkook come on you can pull out.” You whine pulling him forward.
She shakes his head. “god no. I almost lost my mind from your hand. It’d lose it in your pussy.” You smile, you shouldn’t be laughing cause you won’t be able to fuck. But you just can’t help but smile at the fact that he almost lost himself just from your hand. You’ve got no clue on what to do. You really need to fuck him.
“Wait--” he looks at you. “This is a lover’s cabin.” You say but he waits for you to elaborate and make sense.
“wouldn’t they have condoms in the cupboard or something.” He didn’t think of that.
So, as you stand you walk over to the cupboard roughly open it almost tipping it over. “Bingo!” you celebrate pulling out a long string of condoms. Your saving grace.
You carefully pull out one and toss it to jungkook.
“Relax aren’t they the one’s you usually use,” you say when you see the look on his face. They do look like they’ve just been purchased and placed. He’s so thankful right now. He leans against the head board and you watch how he gracefully he strokes himself and slips it on, your mouth drools but you’re too needy. You’ll do that another day.
“Come ride cow girl.” He welcomes you when he’s all done. You stretch your legs over him, centering yourself. His hands are quick to spread across your ass, landing a light tap.
He helps you centre himself at your entrance. His brows scrunch together when he feels your tight warmth slide down him. he definitely isn’t going to last long, maybe he’ll hold on till you come but after that is not promised.
His hand loosely holds at your throat, just enough to tilt it back slightly and leave wet kisses and marks everywhere on your skin.
You sliding up and down him feels great but he couldn’t help himself but move his fingers to touch your clit. In pure pleasure you’re wrapping your arms around him and kissing him. you love this position, how he nudges at your back, how intimate it feels, the way you’re so close after being so far away. The cold is barely in mind. Jungkook can’t express how much he’s missed you.
You love it.
But what you love more is how he pulls at your hair, just softly. “Love fucking my cock huh?” he asks but you’re unable to answer his hips jutting up into you with great speed. Jungkook could get carried away with the way your boob bounce but he chooses to say focus. “You like that huh?” he smirks but your eyes are closed, the pleasure of his intense strokes taking you out.
“Yeah, love fucking you kook.” You whimper out.
He’s thrusting harder and you’re moaning louder. “you look so pretty taking me baby. Wanna fuck you forever.”
You wish you.
Your body melts into his as you’re coming again, jungkook fucking into you for his own high which follows after yours. When he catches his breath, he’s laying you down and beside you just after throwing the filled condom.
“I’m gonna get the bath started.” He says planting a quick kiss on your shoulder.
You’re too drained to stand so when he’s back to come get you you’re dozing off. “come on baby I’ve got to get you cleaned up.”
You groan. “Then after a I can make you cocoa.”
“I’m so tired kook.” You whine.
“I knowww.” he coos. Next thing you know he’s lifting you, bridal style. “it’s okay I’ve got you.”
“Hmm. Don’t move.” Jungkook whines when you threaten to stand and start your day. You two have already slept in because of your late-night endeavours.
“I have to kook. We have so much for our day.”
“Ugh! Fine. But first give me your hand.” He demands the action has you confused but you give it to him. when he has it, he’s giving you a billion kisses. “I love you.” He doesn’t think it’s too soon cause—well he doesn’t know it just felt right to say.
“I love you too now let me go.” He makes sure not to unhand you until you say it more ‘meaningfully’ according to him.
---
You and jungkook decided to retry ice skating (you were hell bent on not going skiing.)
As you’re skating jungkook slides to the half wall, after telling you he has to take a call. You shoo him away after telling you’ll be fine alone (for the meantime).
“Any news?” jungkook was nervous when he got the call from Namjoon. This is a very important call from him, it determines what the hell he’s gonna choose. Quit or get transferred.
“Yeah. it’s been approved.” Jungkook is still for a moment.
“Seriously?” it almost feels like a dream.
“Yeah, had to do a lot of convincing but they agreed.” He’s so grateful for Namjoon. He’s gonna miss him. Jungkook looks over to you, gliding not great but better, and you’re smiling this time. So, he’s happy. You’re happy.
“Thank you, man,”
Namjoon smiles, he knows how much this means. “No problem.” The call cuts.
This just seals a lot “kook look out.” He pockets his phone and as he’s turning to you, you slam into him. You haven’t gotten to the knowing how to stop just yet. Maybe next time.
“You okay, baby.” He says holding onto you by your waist
You let out a dramatic breath that has him smiling. “Yeah, but I’m getting kinda tired.” You say out of breath and letting your weight fall into his arms.
“I’m getting hungry too.” You’ve spent a good amount of time ice skating so you decide to leave it for next time.
--
“what’s the plan for tonight.” He asks as you eat.
“Hmm. For the first time I don’t know.” You both laugh. “We could go out for dinner—ohhh the hot tub--.” You forgot about it cause none of you ever wanted to use it, honestly you didn’t even expect the place to have a hot tub.
“I like the sound of that.”
The steam of the hot tub hovers lazily on the surface of the water. The steam curls around jungkook as his gaze locks on you. Body dry cause you haven’t gotten in yet. You walk onto the deck, the dim but still bright enough lights radiant off your skin, as though the sun has come to pay him a visit at night.
His breath is caught.
The bikini hugs you in all the ways that made his thoughts falter, the curves of your body illuminated by the soft glow of the light. He swallows hard, his mouth dry despite being surround by water. You make him weak, so much that he looks only at you, even though your attention is else were. You try to find a place to hook your towels.
And then you turn around to smile at him in victory of finding a place to hang them. He nods acknowledging but no paying attention.
He leans back slightly, the water lapping at his shoulders as his eyes roam you, mesmerized. There’s some thing unworldly about you, something he can’t quite put into words. It wasn’t just the way you looked, that made him trip for you. It was the way you carried yourself, the way your body swayed as you moved closer to him.
His arms immediately reach out to envelope you. “Enjoying the view?” you tease, your voice relaxing into the tub and his warmth.
The chuckle he releases is low, “you know I am.”
Your giggle like a melody. You wrap your arms around him and he loses his stability for a second before regaining it. “careful.” He murmurs to you, a slow smile spreading across his face. “I might drown.”
“I wouldn’t want that.” you peck his lips.
You relax for a while just taking in the night and each other presence.
Jungkook has been meaning to ask, the question eating at his mind. “Do you want to go back to Korea with me?” it sounds like a dumb question, you came together so you will be leaving together.
But the double meaning lies within and he’s desperate to know your answer.
“What are you saying?” you coo at him. “Aren’t we already going back together.” You’re talking about the tangible stuff, the tickets, the plane, the flying, even the landing and going home. But he doesn’t mean that.
After pecking your shoulder water sticking to his lips, he explains. “I don’t mean physically.”
You stare down at him eyes softening. “kook” you realize the seriousness of his question. And for a second jungkook senses scepticism. So, he panics.
“If it’s bout my job, I’m working on it.” His voice is quick.
That was a fear of yours, even more that he wouldn’t want to move. Jungkook has thought about it, the move was a rush decision he never spoke to anyone about it to ask their opinion or whatever. And honestly the move didn’t bring him much joy, besides the opportunity to adventure Jeju. But apart from that he was away from his family, his friends and you. Everything that made his life.
“Seriously?” you say more shocked than anything else.
“Yeah, Namjoon called me. My transfer got approved.”
You gasp the water swashing from your movement. “don’t lie to me”
He laughs. “I’m not.”
“I thought you said getting it approved is hard.” You’re finding this so hard to believe.
“It is, I guess I got lucky.”
You squeal moving in to hug him.
“When did you start all this.” It’s along process so he had to start early.
“Honestly before we broke up. I wanted to surprise you if it got approved. But then-” you shush him from going on further.
“So, what would have you done if it didn’t get approved.” Your tone drops.
Jungkook sighs looking around in thought. “would’ve fucking quit.” it’s funny how easy the idea is for him, former him would have struggled with the question. “I’m tired of being so far from you.”
“Same.” He places a longer and soft kiss on your lips.
“So, you wanna go back with me?” His voice is playful, as he looks up at you through wet lashes.
“Mhm.” You smile, leaning slightly closer to him, your fingertips tracing lazy circles on his shoulder. “I wanna go everywhere with you.”
The words hang in the air for a moment, warm and intimate, as his lips lifts into a small, boyish grin. “We can arrange that.”
Jungkook doesn’t mind being patched to your side like a little purse dog. In fact, the way he leans into you now, his hand slipping around your waist as if it were second nature, says he’d prefer it. His thumb grazes your hip absentmindedly, a small gesture that feels both possessive and endearing.
“I’m gonna miss it.” you say leaning into Jungkook's shoulder with a pout. You wait patiently for your flight. “Feels like we just started the trip.”
Jungkook reaches over to cup your hand in his. He then interlocks your fingers and brings it to his lips; the action causes you to smile softly. He really likes to do that. It’d never been a trait of his before, so you’re intrigued, to why he does it all of a sudden. “We can come back one day. together.”
“Yeah together.” You reassure. You like this. Like having him with you.
[3 months later]
“Jimin if you’re gonna wear that to my fucking wedding you’re not coming.” You announce to a jimin too focused on the light blue suit he’s in. in the mirror you can spot his cheeky grin. He’s not gonna wear a freaking light blue suit, it’s not on the colour scheme, plus he doesn’t like how it makes him look.
He turns to look at jungkook who’s standing on his own pedestal looking into the mirror. Touching and teasing at the suit. “Jungkook you’re not gonna let her do that right?.” Jungkook just shrugs his shoulders at jimin. He’s not pleased with the answer. He knew the dude was down bad, but not this down bad. “Bro!”
“she’s the boss.” Jungkook raises his hands in surrender and you smirk in your seat.
“Come on man…standup.” he fists at Jungkook who just laughs. As Jimin is stepping out to get out of the suit (he stayed so long in it you thought he might actually want to wear it.) and get changed, you swat him with a magazine and he’s quick to running out not wanting you to land another hit.
Now alone in the dressing room you walk up to jungkook. You lean your chin on his shoulder, your hands finding there way to his chest. He welcomes them with his own. “You look so handsome.” Your voices hums sweetly by his ear. Jungkook lifts up both of your hands to place soft and warm kisses on them. The action has you blushing red. The ring on your finger and indication of why he liked to do it before. Plus, now, he just enjoys it., it makes you blush and he likes that.
“Mhm.” He hums against your wrists. “You like it?”
“I love it.” You take a hundredth glance at a preview of what he might wear at your wedding. If he chooses it’s what he wants. You love the cut on him. the colour complimenting his skin, and the style shows off his physique, not too much, but not too little. But all the buttons on the vest and shirt are gonna give you some trouble undoing.
Jungkook stares at you completely enamoured at the way you’re looking at it. You should be looking at him like that. “I think you might love the suit more than me.” He turns abruptly causing you to fall into his chest. He catches and keeps you stable with his firm hand on your lower back.
You place one hand on his chest and the other around his neck, bringing you much closer. “I might just.” Your lips could meet easily with how close you are. But you don’t move them and jungkook pouts at how you deny him the opportunity.
“I’m gonna take it off, not gonna let you love it more.” He nudges his nose with yours.
“Take it off.”
“Jeon Yn! I forgot how freaky you are.” You roll your eyes at how he’s already given you his last name, you like the sound of it though. Reminds you of how real this is, you’re not dreaming.
Trying to tease him more you move by his ear to whisper, “Not here though.”
Jungkook is biting his lower lip. “We should hurry then.” he moves to kiss your shoulder, your off-the-shoulder top giving him leeway to kiss your skin directly. He peppers more kisses from your shoulder to your neck before you get carried away you’re prompting for him to turn around. He does, though reluctantly.
You giggle.
“Do you like it though?” your voice turns serious, as much as you like it and how you just want to see him in it the whole day. If he likes it matters.
“Yeah, it makes me look so…husband.” He smiles boyishly as he winks at you in the mirror.
“Oh-gosh.” You push yourself away from him to get back to your seat. You’re not gonna be here all day.
He turns to face you. Still standing on the pedestal. “When do I get to see you in your dress” His teeth play with his lip ring as he asks curiously. The thought of you in the gown exciting him.
“When I walk down the aisle.” You stare blankly, no room for discussion. And he doesn’t, you’ve been quite stern about him not seeing you in any bridal wear until the wedding. Which he doesn’t mind, he can wait.
“Make sure it’s a ball gown so that I can slip under and hide.” He gestures his hands to elaborate what he means.
You shake your head. It’s not your style, maybe when you were a child, but you’ve grown. “I’m not wearing a ball gown.”
Ditching the jacket, he places it next to you and stands closing your legs between his. He lowers himself so your nose is touching his. His arms trap you between him and the couch. You didn’t think he was not gonna get that kiss right? He kisses you softly, then again. Then a little harder the third time, this one lasting seconds longer. You hold on his waist for stability. He kisses you once more just for the sake.
“I’m very sure you’ll look divine in whatever you pick, baby.”
A/N: so that's that. I hope I've fixed your broken heart from I-redo. there are scenes that i couldn't fit in. Yes of course there are other activities they did, but if i wrote it all it would be boring and too long and would probably be pushed to next month. i wish i could've written more fluff but idk.
i will allow for story drabble request if you guys want that.
but yeah thanks, for reading, liking and commenting. much love. wishing you a happy new year.
synopsis: Tired of letting trauma and fear dictate your every move, you quit the job you’ve depended on and head to the city in search of something better -- a career, a life, maybe even yourself. Love is the last thing on your list. But then you meet someone who is both everything you’ve needed and everything you’ve run from, and together, you’ll have to decide what’s harder -- escaping yourselves, or escaping the other...
Your feet move right after the other, no thought and all intention to finally chew this bitch out.
"Did you take my fucking pen again?"
She looks up at you like she's seen a ghost. Maybe it's the language that you rarely use, or maybe it's because you're radiating heat.
"Calm down," she laughs, eyes glancing around the room.
Of course, everyone thinks it's you the crazy one here. It doesn’t matter because you don't care anymore. You don't care for what these good-for-nothing people have to say.
"I told you to stop taking my things," you growl like it's school all over again.
Somehow, she feels so free to take only your stuff. She never asks, no matter how many times you told her to. It feels like a small issue, and you even contemplated walking over here and questioning her, but you know that silence is the exact reason she's been walking all over you. Which is stupid, cause you're grown adults, no one should be acting like they are.
She laughs, thinking you'll just walk away, but you stand still right next to her chair, hand on the desk, waiting.
"Yeah, I got your pen; it's not that deep." She goes back to her papers, only causing you to grow angrier.
Your fists ball.
You’ve never been a fighter. Never knew how to defend yourself with it too. But you've seen some films. But then you remember you’re at work.
If you make a scene… your fists relax, well right before she opens her mouth.
"See what I was telling you guys." She mockingly chuckles pointing a finger at you.
Of course, they talked about you.
"Yn, just sit down; you'll find another pen."
Pen? That's long gone now.
Your hand swings forward, knocking the cup of tea right onto her papers and lap.
You're not going to be proud of yourself later on, but right now it feels good.
She stands with a yelp. "Yn, what the fuck? You're crazy."
"Yeah, I'm crazy, and you're a bitch." It feels good to finally have it off your chest. You've pretended too long.
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
The other teachers watch at first, probably noting it down for rumors or whatever. You don't care, frankly. You're going to give them something to talk about.
"You think you're some star?" You have no control of your mouth right now. So everything that's ever pissed you off about her is coming to light. "You're just a teacher. You're not some star that you can walk all over everyone."
You never went to high school with her, but you can tell she was bullied, and once she had the chance, she started to bully others just to feel better about herself.
"All this over a pen. You're fucking childish." She rolls her eyes eyeing you in disbelief.
She aggressively tries to wipe her Chanel skirt, the tea dripping down her thighs and into her kitten heels. "Kevin, grab me a tissue." She commands.
Kevin doesn't. You know they agree with you but are too much of followers to say anything.
"Kevin!"
You scoff watching. "Come down to earth." Your eyes roll.
Not satisfied but satisfied enough, you walk back to your table. What the hell did you just do?
And like clockwork, the staffroom door opens and the last person you wanted to see speaks.
"What's going on here?" Everyone turns to the door.
You weren’t loud enough to be heard outside, but the principal had perfect timing and eyes to see the tension.
"I-it's Yn. She spilled hot tea all over me."
You roll your eyes, heart pounding in your palms. The tea wasn't even that hot.
The adrenaline in your body raises this time for another reason when she looks over at you.
"Yn, can I see you in my office?" She walks out, and you shut your eyes for a second. The regret is now sinking in—nope, you didn't do anything wrong.
Sighing, your chair scrapes against the floor in a screech.
You walk out, but before you do, you catch a glimpse of Kevin handing her a tissue.
Pfft.
"You know there are other ways—professional ways—you
could’ve handled this."
"I know." You sit, hands in your lap, watching your fingers. Never in your years have you been in the principal's office for bad behavior and no matter how tricky things got, you always felt it was a burden to ask or report stuff. They never helped anyway.
"You said this was all over a pen, right?"
Your movements stutter. It sounds so stupid now when you hear it from someone else. Why did you do that? You should have just ignored her like usual and gotten another pen.
"I mean, it's been happening for some time now," you try to explain.
She looks over at you from over her glasses. "But it was over a pen nonetheless?"
You can tell what she's thinking. Just like everyone else, she thinks you're stupid and childish. You're not sure a childish person could let it go for so long.
You nod, and there appears that demeaning smile on her face. You hate this place. You hate everyone in here. You really thought teaching would make you happier, and it does, but only when you're not interacting with your coworkers. You never realized how many of them are miserable and unload it in school. You find them annoying, and it gets to you everytime.
Everyone has problems; no need to take it out on others.
"You know this is grounds for a suspension according to our rules, right?"
Only when it comes to you? You know a couple times when—you know what? It's fine.
You don't respond, eyes lowering into your hands that squeeze each other. Your eyes sting. Don't cry. Don't you dare fucking cry for these people that have made your life a living hell. They don't deserve it; they don't deserve you. They overwork you, underpay you, never listen to your complaints, and you know very well they won't question Yuri at the end of all of this.
Fucking joke.
"But since you're a great and loyal teacher, I think you can just take a week off to cool down and rest. You need it."
You chuckle; what does she know about what you need?
"Does that sound okay—"
"I don't want it." It comes out as a whisper because you're unsure if you even want to say it. Do you really mean what you're about to do? Fuck.
"Excuse me?" She asks you to repeat, and you have to decide. Is this what you really want? All you've worked for just to start from zero again?
You sigh, lifting your head.
"I said I don't want it."
Her brows furrow, and her head tilts. "I'm sorry, can you elaborate?"
"I don't want a week off, I want to quit."
She never expected you to say that, you bet.
"You want to quit?" Silence. "Are you sure?"
No. "Yes."
"I'll need your letter then." Right, you can't just walk out that door and call it a day. You'll probably have to keep working too.
"You will be missed, Yn." She says before you walk out.
Yeah, sure.
-
The school day over and you tired and fed up you're quick, to headed to the door once the last bell rings. No staying behind like you usually do.
"You alright, sunshine?" An older voice bellows.
Handbag pulled closely to you, you force a smile at the older gentleman by the door.
"I'm alright, Bert."
Bert and the students have been the only non-toxic part of this environment. Makes you feel horrible for the decision, but...
"You sure? You know you can always talk to me."
You smile."Yeah, I know." You’ve complained to him many times, so you don't doubt him. Honestly, you have no clue why he's not tired of you. But between being the only security guard at this school and having to sit by the door all day alone, you're sure he's bored and enjoys the drama of you complaining with him.
"Alright, I'm always here if you need me, sunshine. You make the world a better place. "
You chuckle.
"Stop teasing me." You playfully narrow your eyes at him, and he leans forward.
"I ain't teasing you, sunshine. You really do make the world a better place."
Do you? Who are you to make the world a better place?
"Thank you, Bert. I really appreciate you."
"No need. Get home safe."
-
Home is another hell of its own. And its no better tonight.
"So what are you gonna do now, huh? You think being unemployed is fun?" Her words ring in your ears. You have no idea why she feels the need to follow you to your room and talk about this.
"I'm not unemployed."
"Well, you're gonna be."
You sigh.
"I'm going to get you some job appl—"
"It's fine; I already have a job." You yell back,
sinking into your pillows.You didn’t want to tell her or anyone about it. But it was bound to come up anyway.
"What do you have planned, huh?" She folds her arms.
"Don't worry about it."
She laughs, shaking her head.
"You're gonna ruin your life, you know that? All this over a pen."
—
You’ve never liked dramatic and impulsive life changes. The 2 AM surges of energy to clean your room or to pick a career path that earns you celebrity-level funds.They feel fake, and it never lasts long anyways.
But that same mentality leads you to stay in situations that aren’t good for you. A bad relationship, a toxic work environment, a toxic parent. You endure all that because you think it’s safer, easier.
Easier than going out there and having to worry about rent, worry if you’ll ever meet someone who loves you like they do, having to worry about groceries. What if you don’t secure a job? So you endure, all because of fear.
It gets to a point, though. The fear becomes a fraction of the torment you’re now facing. The nagging from your mother.You should’ve chosen another career. All the bickering and jealousy from your partner, and once you finally break it off, the harassing and stalking. Knocking on your window, following you after school.
"Please take me back.I’m sorry; I didn’t mean it. Yes, I cheated, so what? It didn’t mean anything; I’m sorry, baby. "
All bullshit you endured for too long, and that fear you thought you had feels like the closest you’ll get to being happy.
You enjoy waking up in the morning, eating breakfast if you get the chance, catching an early bus to school, and teaching the students that make your life brighter.As bright as the dark night gets. And repeat. You like that. Honestly, that’s all you wish you could do. Silence. And all by yourself.
You liked being alone, and you’ve spent too much time lying like that isn’t what you want.nA simple life and doing whatever you want.
So doing research and with a help from an agent, you find an apartment in the city, make a deposit. And that’s it; there’s nothing your mother can tell you, and you hope your ex can finally leave you alone. It’s been 3 years. All you need now is to move.
But before that...
“Are you really leaving, Ms.?” The students ask before you get the chance. And you’re 100% sure somebody with nothing to do had said something. You’re glad you’re leaving this place.
“Yes.” You say, not stuttering one bit. There’s no point in lying or coating it. “Yes, I am.” You repeat, more for yourself and the students in disbelief. They never expected you to leave, right? Not your ex, not your mother, not the school. They all thought you would take it forever. You thought you would too.
“We’re gonna miss you,” one speaks. You will miss them too. It’s not like you’re all of a sudden this heartless person. After all, putting yourself first doesn’t make you a bad person.
It’s still a shame, though, because you will miss them. You’ve taught them from the 3rd grade to the 7th, watched them grow, so it does hurt. This was your first real job, and you’re about to leave.
“Why are you leaving?”
You knew the questions were gonna come. “Grown-up things.” You say your prepped answer.
“Did you find a job that pays better?” You chuckle. Gosh, you wish you had. You’re traveling to a new place and apartment, with a job you aren’t even sure you’ll get to keep. But who cares? It’s gonna be safer. And maybe you’ll be more at peace.
“Something like that.” You say, trying to find comfort in all this. You’re leaving everything you’ve tried build here. Tried. There’s a chance you’ll be better off there.
“Maybe she’s getting married, and her husband wants her to move with him,” one theorizes. “I watched it in a movie.” You tilt your head with a smile when you spot the voice of the student. You don't even have to look up from your desk to know him.
“Taehun, do your parents know you watched that movie?” He shakes his head. And you laugh again. The kid’s parents are strict, just from the interactions you’ve had with them. They’re the type of parents that make you wish you would’ve listened to your mother and chosen another career.
“Are you getting married?” The question snaps you out of your daze.
You pause, planning your next reply carefully. They’re 12 year olds; they’ll barely remember this day or you. Many events are gonna overshadow this: graduation, results, 8th grade, tests, many events. So what’s wrong with a little lie?
You smile before you move your lips to speak. “Actually, I am getting married.” Predictable questions of who? who?who? follow after.
“Well, be quiet if you want me to tell you.” You place a finger over your lips to indicate silence. And they obey. Wow, it’s like gossip's embedded in the human psyche.
“Okay, so he’s this tall,” you exaggerate the height with your arms. You doubt you've seen a man that tall in real life, but they swoon anyways. “Big muscles,” you signal. They swoon again. “Dark hair cut like Sujin’s,” you point, and everyone stares at the boy. He blushes.
Sujin’s mother always makes sure he looks clean and smart. You commend her for being able to do that every morning, every day, all by herself with a demanding job. She’s the type of woman who makes sure her child doesn’t look like or feel the absence of a father.
“And he has tattoos.”
When you finish off another exaggeration, the girls mutter, "Ewww." You chuckle because 90% of these boys will have tattoos of some sort, and they’ll be forced to be with them anyway. Plus, they will grow out of it. You did.
“Is he kind to you, Ms. Yn?”
You thought that was going to be all with your lies, and now you have to think about whether your fake husband is a kind man with a stable job or some toxic man forcing you to work two jobs.
You sigh, trying to think of a lie; it should be easy to lie about this. Just say yes. But maybe this is your chance to make a wish. A wish the heavens might grant you for once. So you don’t lie; you wish.
“He’s very sweet to me, Lucia. He buys me flowers, calls me pretty. ” These kids aren't genies; you don’t have to pour your heart out to them. You rub your forehead. “Yes, he’s kind to me.” That’s what you should’ve just answered.
“As long as you’re happy, Ms.” They don’t even catch the fact that they’re calling you Ms. and not Mrs. You shake your head. “Make sure to visit us.”
You frown.
You don’t make any promises out loud, but internally you promise to come to their middle school graduation. Promise.
“Okay,” you clap your hands, startling some and yourself. You don’t even know why you do it. “Let’s get to learning; enough about me.”
You pull out your book and head to the board, the piece of chalk tight between your fingertips.
This is your last lesson here. And everything you’ve ever wanted and feared is about to happen after this.
“Who wants to learn about verbs?”
-
“The city isn’t that great of a place, Yn.”
“Don’t be so foolish.”
“Think about me. I’m getting older.”
“Just stay with me. You’re safer here.”
You chuckle at the thoughts.
The new sheets wrinkle as you turn to lay on your side. The light from your screen lights up your face. Is this what peace feels like? Silence, with only the city noise seeping in. Knowing that there’s only an empty apartment with unpacked boxes to welcome you when you leave the bedroom. You laugh. Your mother would kill you for not unpacking. But why should you? You can do whatever you want. You can eat whenever you want. Come and leave home whenever you want.
You’re finally free.
You’ve never felt so free. You need to remember this moment.
So, snapping a quick selfie, you contemplate posting it. he can’t still be following you. You blocked him, reported him to authorities. He can’t reach you.
You’re free, remember?
Post.
This is the life you wanted, and it was easier than you thought to achieve. And you’re going to live it exactly how you wanted to—freely.
-
You’ve taught English to middle school students and below, and you teach history to high school students. But since the school you’ve been accepted to be a substitute at is only secondary, you’re only teaching history.
Which is great because you don’t have to work yourself double.
It’s a rather small school, as the director explains, so there aren’t many teachers. But not to be fooled, it’s small in terms of student population (because of their picky acceptance rate) but large in terms of facilities. You would mistake it for a castle, in size and maybe in beauty and grace too. Schools will always carry an overlay of grey gloom, no matter how beautifully they build themselves.
Being a private school and having a few students, it must be easier to shine the floors and keep them shiny. Or maybe they pay their janitors enough to actually care about small details like these. Clear windows as though there were no barrier, and you could walk through. The rays of light beam gracefully through the glass.
Nothing compared to your previous school; dust coated the windows violently. The only time they’d be cleaned is if it rained, and it hadn’t in a while. So you can only imagine.
“St. Helena’s was built by the Catholics in 1842—”
The director goes on to explain how St. Helena’s School for Girls was founded in 1842 by the Order of the Sisters of Divine Mercy, a Catholic order known for educating young women in strict discipline, humility, and Latin.
However, by the late 1880s, after political pressure and financial decline, the Church was forced to sell the property. It was quietly bought by Ambrose Whitlock, a selfmade industrialist who had no regard for religon but loved the school’s architecture, order, and exclusivity.
Ambrose kept the name St. Helena’s for prestige and familiarity. He honored its girls-only policy, though he removed all religious rules, crucifixes, and nuns. And now his family has run and privately funded the school ever since—transforming it into one of the most exclusive (and quietly eerie) institutions for girls in the country.
You take in the information forcefully and nod, not able to take your eyes off the infrastructure. Maybe that’s why it’s so graceful and chilling at the same time.
You yourself don’t care for anything apart from a stable job.
“But the family is considering changing the name...” he goes on, pointing out notable landmarks to you.
In each class are students learning, all focused on their teacher, not peeping at you one bit. It’s odd. Students at your old school would be beyond their necks trying to see who you are.
Even from where you observe, you can tell how well-pressed these girls' uniforms are. No stray hair in sight. For those who can, their hair is up in a bun, and for those who can’t, it’s either curled perfectly or straightened as flat as a ruler.
Your hand strokes your own hair down to your pink blouse and straight maxi skirt. Everything is pressed to impress, but compared to theirs's, you could’ve done more.
The school's strict on dress code, so your clothes cover you from your wrists to your ankles. Again, you don’t mind. But you can definitely tell how the Catholic Church still influences them. It doesn’t bother you.
“...they don’t want to be associated with the Catholic Church anymore,” he continues.
It’s going to be hard when they keep things too uptight and
on the throat.
“Oh, what names are you thinking?” You’ve always been a talker and very curious, and you flourish I scenario that feed that. So you can’t help yourself and ask.
The man laughs as though they would consider him in the discussion. “Whitlock Hall.”
Your brows raise when he says it, and with the way he said it, he feels the same way. “Feels cheaper,” you say, no thought. “No offense.”
You need to mind how you talk.
“No, I agree with you.” He smiles, pushing his glasses back up his nose bridge with his index finger. “They said they want to honor Ambrose.”
It makes sense, but in terms of prestige, maybe it wouldn’t be the best. But you’re no marketing graduate.
“I think you’ll blend in well here.” He says liking how you're interested in the school.
Well, that should be a good sign. You continue to go around pointing out each class for you. And as you walk by each, you note every teacher that teaches.
Older man, older man.
Why are there so many older people here?
Older woman, older woman.
You’re relieved to see some women, though they aren't close to your age. Which is fine; you aren’t here to make friends.
Older man, as you walk by the next class, and so like a game you try to predict the next teacher.
Ol—handsome.
It’s embarrassing how you almost gasp out loud.
“That’s a 9th-grade class; it’s one of your classes.”
You can barely hear the man, and you feel bad. You know there are some classes that you will be teaching because they take history and others that you won’t. So wait—does that mean you’ll be teaching the same class as that—no.
You’re here for work, not romance. You quit that stuff long ago. No love, no hurt. That’s the motto, and it’s been that way for 3 years. So no looking. Wait, maybe just one more glance.
Glancing back into the room, your eyes meet his, and you immediately look away, embarrassed.
He caught you staring—embarrassing. Can’t you handle yourself? You thought he was busy teaching whatever he was teaching. And honestly, you never thought he could see you through the window. But with how hard you were gawking, he probably felt it.
“Are you okay?” the director asks you, and you nod. You’re being shown around by the man who can make or break your chances at this job, and you’re focused on a man? No, no.
“I’m okay.” You tear your eyes back to him.
-
Jungkook knew there was going to be a substitute coming in today. Everyone was informed.
Mrs. Smith had been looking sick for days and was fighting like a veteran. And it had Jungkook worried. But the stubborn elderly woman would never listen.
Some of the other teachers with sharper tongues would joke that she looks like she's on the brink of death. Well, seeing that she's 80, she's en route. But something stronger than a raging cough would have to kill Mrs. Smith.
Jungkook has no clue about anything to do with history; he's a math teacher and has no business knowing about anything more than Pythagoras.
But one thing that he thought he was spot on about was that all history teachers were old. I mean, you had to be there to teach it, right?
“Everyone, this is Ms. Y/L/N Yn,” the director announces to
the staffroom.
The room is typical of a staffroom. An open room, with a large table and chairs in the center, littered with things from books to test papers to stationery. Smells like ink and tea. Just like the hallways, large clear windows sit on the end wall, giving the room most of its light. Some small desks sit by the windows. And that’s where you eye the most, well, until your eyes graze the faces of the teachers, and you spot the one that has you gasping. Why the hell is he looking at you like that? Have you made an enemy already?
You don’t do well with enemies.
There are some lockers which you assume teachers place their stuff in. A library of files—you have to find the history section. Overall, it’s really a minimalistic and dull place. Different variants of greys are used to make sections contrast. The only things colored are the files and stationery. It’s dull but not enough to kill your teaching spirit.
You don’t care if the place was painted with animal print. You're here to become stable.
“She’ll be a substitute for Mrs. Smith, who we know is slightly unwell.”
From the time you entered, people’s faces had been straight and on the principal. But now, at the name of the person you’re replacing, slight smiles and mini chatter begin. Why?You have no idea.Maybe she wasn’t a likable person. Or maybe 'slightly unwell' is an understatement. You have no idea about the state of Mrs. Smith; you barely know much about her.
All you know is she’s not sick enough for you to be hired and not healthy enough to be here.
Even though people look away, there are a detailing pair of eyes that don’t leave you. And you hate that you don’t know why. Are you replacing someone he prefers? He doesn’t stare at you crazily, but he stares nonetheless. Maybe it’s revenge for earlier.
“Hello everyone. It’s lovely meeting you all.” You smile through the cringe of having to introduce yourself at your big age. It never ends.
It’s sweet and simple.
Too sweet and simple for Jungkook.
The principal leaves, and with help from the head teacher, you find yourself by a desk by the window.
Jungkook watches.
Mrs. Smith hated the window seat; as a matter of fact, she hated the windows. It’s the first time in a while they have had a chance to have the windows open. It’s an ongoing joke in the room, one Jungkook silently subscribes to. Maybe she’s a vampire; that’s why she’s lived so long.
So it’s interesting to see you taking the seat by the light your former used to avoid.
You’re like the complete opposite of Mrs. Smith in so many ways.
"Stop staring so hard," Jimin teases Jungkook.
The blinded man just blinks. He feels like you knew sitting by the windows would make looking at you harder, and that’s why you chose it.
Jimin was the closest thing Jungkook had to a friend in this place. And even then, they weren’t really friends. If a friend is someone you don’t mind and casually talk to, then Jungkook had those. But if a friend is someone you can confide in with no fear of judgment, be emotional with, go out to dinner with, and hang out at each other’s places or any of the sort, then Jungkook had zero.
"She just looks young; that’s all." He’s only a year older than you.
His eyes are back on his work.
"History teachers are usually a little older." He adds more to himself. It's an ongoing truth within himself, so to have you here disproving that is disturbing him. And he wants to know more that he might be wrong about.
Are you an early bird like Mrs. Smith? He heard the principal call you “Miss,” so that means you aren’t married, no husband, but maybe you have a boyfriend? He shakes his head.
Do you drink coffee or tea and from a specific mug that you won’t let anyone else touch or even look at? Do you sort your files by color—that’s something he does; Smith could never. But he’s just curious if you share anything with him too—
"What does it matter?" Jimin sips his coffee.
Jungkook cringes at how his fellow is able to drink coffee anytime of the day like it’s nothing.
"Just interesting," he hums, eyes slowly moving back to you. He doesn’t want to, but he can’t help it. He has a bad habit of fixating on a single thing until his mind gets the release it needs. And with you, he has no clue what it would be.
When he was younger, he once spent the whole day following an insect around just to know where it would go or what it would do. Safe to say he lost track of time, and his parents lost their minds.
"How old do you think she is?"
Jimin shrugs. "Go ask her."
It's not a must for all teachers to interact, but it's inevitable. Jungkook would never initiate it, though; he tries not to. But if he did, asking you that during your first conversation? No.Big no.
"That's inappropriate." Jungkook says, like thinking about whether you wear granny panties or those thinner ones he sees in stores isn’t inappropriate enough.
He’s not like this. He usually keeps to himself. Never looks too close or thinks too much about a colleague. A woman at that; he knows how he can get. How stuck he can feel until he just gets closer to you. It’s draining, and he’s tired of the habit; he hasn’t done it in a while until now.
Maybe it’s because you’re something newer here, bright and young energy. There aren’t many teachers here, no variation of ages. Jungkook had been the youngest until you walked in.
“But yet you keep thinking about it.” He does. And he hates it.
Before he can protest and defend himself, the sharp sound of the bell snaps him out of anything. He tilts his head when he notices you flinch and lift your head to search for the source of the sound. Your eyes are curious. He pins it to the fact that maybe your previous school had no bell or they just had a shitty one. Because if you had a proper bell. Or maybe you’re the sensitive type.
Interesting. All in all, this is all new to you, and Jungkook should keep it at that, not pursuing things further.
He thinks about what he would say to you on the matter. He’d love to tell you that you’ll never get used to it. Hes till flinches sometimes when it catches him off guard. He hates that thing.
1.Because it’s noisy.
And a very new reason
2. He can't investigate you more.
-
-
The next day the staffroom is brightly lit by the late morning sun. Sounds of papers flipping and pens scratching against them fill the room.
Silence. That’s the difference between this school and your previous one; people value their silence. No one trying to be humorous or a star. No unfunny mocking jokes. Just here to work and then out.
You smile.
And for the first time in a long time in your teaching career, you can enjoy coffee in the staffroom and relax. The only issue is you’re not relaxed. So many buttons on a machine that’s supposed to be simple.
Complicated for nothing.
You lean back, hands on hips. You’re looking around for someone who may be coming to make coffee too. No one.The older ones prefer tea.
Shit.
“How do you work this thing?” You mumble. Maybe you should drink tea too. “Which button—”
“The middle one.” A voice says beside you, startling you.
You turn to search for said button. Middle? There’s no midd—
“Here.” A hand comes swooping in before you can react. The machine growls, and then follows the sound of the liquid into the cup.
You bite your inner cheek, embarrassed. Looking at the button, it was right in front of you. But in your defense, it had no little sticker or symbol.
“Oh—thanks.” He doesn’t respond to your gratitude. When your cup is filled, he pulls it out, hands it to you, and places his own. And you should’ve walked away to relax like you planned.
But no, here you are standing next to him, lips to cup, and thinking of a conversation starter. Something that isn't "do you have a problem with me?" "Why were you staring at me like that yesterday and not today" "do you hate me?"
No not that. Maybe something that shows you're not a bad person, and you'll be no trouble. Not that you think he cares. Casual. Just getting to know your Co workers.
“You’ve got a class next?” you try casually, but the more you think about it, the more it sounds like you’re trying too hard.
“Yeah.” He says, not elaborating and making this more awkward for you. Hes gotta hate you. You sip your liquid. Cause why the heck is he so hard to talk to?
You’re going to be seeing more of this guy, so why the cold shoulder? You just for once have a good relationship with your colleagues.
“You’re the math teacher, right?” He glances at you for a split second, but it feels like forever. Not a good forever, more like a forever that you have to be reminded of how embarrassing this feels. So hell.
He nods.
But before you can say anything, the bell rings, and you flinch. You’ve wasted the time you had planned with this machine and him.
Watching him dump the coffee he barely took a sip of, you find your mouth opening again. “You’re not gonna finish that?” Why are you still talking?
Jungkook rinses the cup after dumping the rest. “Don’t have time.”
And he walks away. Just like that. Leaving you embarrassed but curious.
-
Jungkook doesn’t even like coffee during the day. Anywhere after 8 AM is a no for coffee.
But once he caught a glimpse of you struggling with the machine, he had to come over. How could he not? And those questions? What was that about? It was cute. You trying to talk to him. Why?
-
"Mr. Jeon, can we do a recap on question 12 on the homework?"
"That was the easiest one." Of course, he'd think that, so they murmur. As they complain, Jungkook turns to the board to erase your writing. Something about some war. He analyzes the strokes of each of your letters, a mix between cursive and print. He can tell you’re forcing it to be a little clearer to read. Or maybe one of the girls asked you to be a little clearer.
It could be anything. The strokes wipe off the board easily enough that he doesn’t need a second swipe, but Jungkook does it anyway just so he’s sure everything of yours is gone. It tells him you barely grazed the board with the chalk, either because you know the struggle of imprints or because you were so nervous. You didn’t seem nervous. So, you’re gentle as well?
It’s the most attractive thing, he thinks, to match with your handwriting.
“Can I ask you guys a question?” Jungkook says, still not turning his back. A place where he feels like he can be himself is when he’s teaching.
The girls pause at his odd request. “Is it math-related, sir?”
He turns, smiling and playing with the piece of chalk between his fingers. He should be embarrassed that it’s not math related. But he’ll still ask.
“No, it’s not, Maya.” He turns to look at the door, making sure it’s shut, and you're gone. “It’s about the new teacher.” His voice instinctively comes out as a whisper.
The girls giggle, already telling him how much this topic is exciting to them. “Is she kind?”
One speaks up, “She is,”
“So much better than Mrs. Smith,” another says and gets nudged by a desk mate. Jungkook knows they probably shouldn’t be talking about this.
“She’s so kind and so pretty.” They go on. Jungkook prays they can tell him something he doesn’t know.
“I think I might like history now.”
Jungkook laughs; he might too. But this isn’t what he’s asking about. “She isn’t secretly evil or something. Doesn’t hit or yell.”
Physical violence isn’t allowed, so you would get reported really quick and leave like you never came. Discipline is always done through detention.
“Doesn’t give unnecessary detention.” You don’t look like you’d even know detention exists.
The girls make a sound to tell Jungkook that you are not on that timing. He sighs. He was really hoping for something to make you like the typical. Something to make him relax and not think about it anymore.
His question causes an uproar of who knows what conversations, and now that Jungkook has his answers, he needs to get to teaching.
“Okay, silence girls.” He doesn’t yell, and it’s a good thing they don’t need to be yelled at to learn. Cause he doesn't like to yell.
He begins to write the topic for the day. It’s funny how it’s the Pythagorean Theorem. Maybe he’ll ask you about it later.
A conversation starter to say.
-
How to get people to like you. Not the people pleasing type, just the I don't want enemies type.
"Morning." you smile at the man who you just realized you don;'t know the name of.
Unlike other teachers who've introduced themselves or talked to you, he hasn't.
You slide the coffee mug to him when he walks in the staffroom kitchen. You were going to drink it but having him here now, you find it perfect to now get to know him.
He stares at the cup then at you and then at the watch on his wrist.
10:32am.
He stares at you.
"For helping me with the machine the other day." You smile; he doesn't reciprocate just nods.
"You didn't have to." he takes the cup when you eye him hopefully. then he sips, the liquid taking his mouth hostage. why did he have to take such a huge sip.
"We haven't gotten to speak properly." you admit quietly looking to make your cup.
And in that split second, you're turned away he contemplates spitting it back into the cup. But that not the kind of guy he is. you worked hard on this and frankly it doesn't taste bad. you made an effort, he should too.
The liquid threatens not to go down, but he makes it. He doesn't know when this habit started but it did and there's not much he can do about it.
"Don't you think so too?"
"Huh?" he echoes.
"We haven't talked much for people who teach right after each other." what the heck are you even saying, let this man be.
"Don't we all?" he tilts your head, and you freeze.
Exactly! all of you teach after the other, so what's it about jungkook.
"I know but-- you're the only one I haven't gotten to talk to." you hide behind your cup. "You know what forge--I just thought cause you taught math and I taught--" now you're just talking nonsense. the last time this happened was.
jungkook laughs. "I don't see any relationship between math and history." You stare at him, and he takes a sip again. The more he sips the more his taste bud go numb. Maybe he can do this.
"I know, I'm sorry. I'm new so I was hoping to get to know everything but clearly, I suck at this." you laugh awkwardly. "We don't have to talk."
Jungkook watches you pour the rest of your coffee into the sink and rinse your cup. he wishes he could tell you just to calm down.
"Not gonna finish?"
"It got cold." the steam he saw a contradiction. "See yo--have a good day."
Jungkook's left watching your shadow until it disappears too. He stares at the cup in his hand.
He could pour it out now, you're gone. he can pour it out, forget this interactions and-Gulp
"Well fuck me." he cringes at the overwhelming taste. he rinses the cup. "What the hell am I doing?"
-
You never expected anything to come out of your first time. It was your first week, so you expected it to be hell. Students mocking you, throwing papers, not paying attention, not interested in history. You expected all of it, but you got the opposite. You’re not a pessimistic person, per se. Traumatized, that’s the word you’d use. Scared. But you hadn’t realized just how good this school was. Now you can’t imagine yourself anywhere else.
You need to do a good job here. A great job. your only problem? the fucking math teacher. it's getting to you.
You had no intentions for friends here; you barely had any at your previous one. Everyone was either too bitter, liked to gossip, etc. Not that you’re a saint; you have your flaws. But the people made yours minuscule. Hence, you just wanted to avoid most of them.
But that doesn't mean you don't want any friends. You're in a hew city with no friends. it couldn't hurt, but the only person close to your age probably doesn't like you, maybe.
You thought he’d be nice to get to know. Plus, he’s cute and attractive. you've had male friends before. Relationships among staff are against school policy anyway, so nothing could happen even if you wanted it to. which you don't. But you can just be friends.
but maybe he doesn't like making friends, doesn't seem like he likes small talk too. And all you ever do is embarrass yourself in front of him.
You have no clue how he became a teacher, slipping through the fingers of an agency or a wife— is he married? You haven’t seen a ring on his finger. But he could have a girlfriend. Shit, how can you find out without being weird?
You're not here for that but you’re just curious. That’s your flaw—being too curious about things that you shouldn’t be. People pleasing too, but you don't talk about that one.
-
You've avoided much of him of late. Too self-conscious now. You were probably doing too much and scared the guy. You would be scared too.
Plus, he's not obligated to talk to you too. It's good for you too, cause then you can focus on yourself, like you promised. you don't need friends.
"Here." The familiar white coffee cup is slide to you. "Finish it this time."
"You followed me to my desk to give me coffee." you narrow your eyes and look between them.
You know what? he didn't think this through. He thought it would be a gesture to signal that things are chill between you too and you don't need to be so nervous and awkward. But he didn't think it through very much.
"I'm sorry." he says, and you laugh.
"it's fine thank you."
No need to make this interaction longer and defeat the purpose of it, so he nods and walk back to his desk.
Watch him as he goes. Confused. Does this mean he wants to be friends? no no no no no.
-
What had you curious were his tattoos. You aren’t sure, but you assume they trail up a little higher on his arm. You hadn’t seen them during school hours, only after everyone had left.
So, you assume he isn’t allowed to have them out. He had his white and black sweater sleeve rolled up. Inklings of color and tints gracefully on his skin. You watched the arm closer, intrigued. Did it hurt? You bet it did. You don’t have any tattoos for that reason, and they are expensive too. And you’ve never had that money to waste.
It’s safe to say this school has a lot of sights to see. And right now, while on break, you walk to a bench you had seen that has a good view of the fountain. Beautiful water creating rainbows when it meets the sun. When you get to the bench, you find a fellow sight viewer.
“Can I join?” you point, and Jeon nods. You both sit facing the fountain; there’s a silence that none of you dare to break as you stare at the water. Serenity. You have no clue why, but you take it and enjoy what you can. Who knows when Mrs. Smith will recover?
“You doing alright?” In that silence, Jungkook speaks. You didn’t expect him to; he didn’t seem like he cared to anyway, but he does.
You stare at his arms and down to his hands. He has his sleeves down.
Not married.
“I’m doing alright.” You smile awkwardly. The silence settles.
You wouldn’t call yourself talkative; normally, you like to keep to yourself as well. So you have no clue why your mouth burns to say something. Something he probably won’t even care for.
“Still a little nervous teaching here.” You play with the fabric of your skirt. You know he isn’t looking at you; you can feel it. Just like you can feel when he does. He probably thinks you don’t notice, but you do, and maybe that’s what’s giving you the encouragement to speak more to him.
You don’t find his distance weird at all, but you just aren’t sure if he’s just awkward or maybe he just doesn’t like you still. you're clinging to the latter for dear life, cause that would make this easy.
“My last school was worse than this. The students were all over the place.” You reminisce. “But I was always comfortable for some reason. I was used to the chaos.”
You go on, and Jungkook listens. He probably looks like he isn’t paying attention because of the lack of eye contact, but if it’s for a good reason. If he got to stare at you, he wouldn’t know what detail to pay attention to.
The fact that your hair has no strays in sight, or the way your eyeliner is slightly crooked, maybe you were in a hurry. You went for some wide neutral-colored skirt, a blouse, and flats. Seeing that it’s your second day and you’ve gotten a feel of the school, it’s possible that you’re dressing for comfort now and not to impress.
He thinks you pull off anything you decide to wear. Not that he’s seen you in any other outfits.
“I guess this school is just a little too, what’s a word? —uh—perfect?”
“Perfect?” he asks and finally turns to you. Is this your definition of perfect? This oddly serene, 1000+ year old building? Where everything is always weirdly in place? If that’s your definition of perfect, he might have an idea of your upbringing and childhood. And why you love sitting by the window.
You love the fairytale life.
“Well, I just mean, not chaotic.” You correct with a chuckle and look up at him. He quickly turns away like he wasn’t just looking at you before. You brush it off.
“I guess it is kind of perfect.” No one would know, but Jungkook too likes the fantasies. The knight who finds and has the princess falling in love with him. It’s stupid, and he knows it probably stems from some trauma. He doesn’t indulge in fantasies, though; he thinks you can get too lost in them.
“I was at Mount Haven public school, if you wanted to know.”
He hums and it’s quiet again until you’re filling the air with telling him how it was your first real job. You were so excited to work there and how you were such a bright and new soul. But it was not long until that spark for life dimmed, and the things happening in your personal life weren’t helping either. The only thing keeping it alive was the hope that you could be helping those kids as well. Maybe you were being too full of yourself. Who are you to think you could save those children or give them hope?
Sunshine. You remember and chuckle.
But little did you know that you did. How you were the only teacher some students could confide in. Maybe it’s just the part of you that misses them that’s thinking this way. Jungkook doesn’t care, so why are you telling him all this?
So you go on to tell him more technical stuff, like how you taught English.
He knew it; you had that English teacher vibe. He smiles. but you're still history teacher, nonetheless. He's still wrong. Time to scrap that stupid belief now, you've opened his eyes.
“I had to leave for some safety and personal reasons. Felt horrible for the students.” You catch his smile as you say the words.
You hadn’t noticed he was smiling until now. Is he smiling at what you said? When you go silent, he catches on that you’ve said something else and has to stop thinking about the fact that he was somewhat right. He apologizes for the misunderstanding, and you go on. “I promised I’d see them graduate middle school.”
“Will you?”
The sun gets covered by the clouds, stopping the rainbows he’s been using to keep looking at one point. So, he turns and, in your eyes, still seeing rainbows or at least trying to remember what they looked like.
“I hope.”
Before he can say anything, the bell rings—you flinch—cutting all the peace Jungkook was feeling for a moment. He’s forgotten he was in school.
In the far distance, you both can hear the teacher on duty telling the girls not to run. They were speed walking.
You move to stand, and Jungkook does the same, sharply, taking you by surprise, but you brush it off.
“It was nice talking to you.” He doesn’t respond with words but with a nod.
Honestly, maybe it's a good thing he doesn’t respond, even though you’d like him to. It’s like talking to yourself without looking crazy to other people. And you’ve needed to talk to yourself.
Even though it has affected your life greatly, you tend to hate talking or even acknowledging the reason you left that school and town as a whole. You still get anxious at the thought, and this conversation with Jungkook has really opened your mind to it. You can’t avoid it for long.
“You’ll get used to the sound eventually,” he says, pointing to the speaker at the corner of the hall. He notices how you’re not enjoying the sound. “It’s a godawful sound, but you’ll get used to it.” You smile at him, and he does too—lightly, of course.
But he smiled. He just smiled at you.
-
A month and some weeks later, and you’d say you’re more comfortable.
“How’s it going over here, guys?” you lean over, checking their work.
“This is so fun, ma’am! We’ve never done this before,” the others agree, and you blush.
“Yeah, you’re so much better than Mrs. Smith. She was boring.”
You gasp at her honesty. “Thank you, but I’m sure Mrs. Smith was fun too... in her own way.”
“Yeah, right,” one says, and they laugh. You can’t help but do the same.
You’ve always had a knack for children. Having cousins, you had your practice. You and your cousins had a huge age gap, making you almost like a mother when you baby sat.
You smile at the students.
“Okay, time’s up.” You call out. Some whine and beg for more time, but some raise their drawings up with genuine smiles. “I’m going to walk past, and you show me your maps.”
You do, and it’s a sight to see. You’d given them an activity to draw their fictional kingdom maps; you had your own as an example. It’s a fun activity you like to do before the start of a topic. It makes things interesting. Makes them feel like they’re actually participating in their knowledge. And not just being told what to know. History being the boring subject it is, you understand how important these activities are.
“Let me see,” you say to a student who hides. “Show me; I won’t judge.” You raise your hands in defence. They relax and finally show it to you. You tell them how beautiful it is—because it is. An expression of one’s creativity can never be ugly; you wish someone had told you that.
Every kingdom map drawn is unique to the student, and you get a hint of some of their personalities from it.
You let them keep their papers, and you go on with the lesson. You love how they keep applying knowledge to their own worlds.
“So if you want to continue the activity...” you begin to collect your books. You’ve timed when the bell rings, and you want to be out before the next teacher—RINGGGGGG.
You mumble a curse word. This class is somehow so close to the bell.
“You can create—uh—” you panic with your books, thrown off by the bell. It's been a month and some weeks since you've been here you should get used to the sound.
“Take your time.” You flinch when a gentle voice speaks.
It’s Jungkook...how long has he been standing there? Not for long, you assume. But in reality, he’s been walking these halls for some time; you were just too caught up in the activity to notice.
Why are you in such a rush? “Thanks—you can create your own monarchy and rules for your land. I’d love to see what you guys come up with. It’s not mandatory, but only if you want to. You can share them with me in the teachers' room.” You inform them and they listen closely.
They aren’t the only ones listening closely. Jungkook leans against the wall by the door, arms folded, and eyes lowered at you. He wishes he could tell you that you don’t have to rush and he’d wait as long as it takes for you to be done. It’s not like he isn’t benefitting from this—watching you.
Remember, Jungkook hasn’t been in the 9th grade for more than 10 years, so he doesn’t understand why he internally reacts like one.
You place all the crayons and art supplies you borrowed from the art teacher into the large clear container. You lift it. It’s pretty heavy, but you’ll manage.
“Have a good day, girls,” you smile at them, and they reciprocate.
You walk to the door, and Jungkook’s smile drops—almost.
“You’re gonna manage?.”
“I’m pretty strong.”
“I can see.”
You laugh.
“Have a nice class, Jeon.”
It’s the way you say it, like you know him more than he’s told you. Like you understand him. Like you could never judge him. Like you could love hi—ridiculous; you barely know him. You’re just kind.
He’s not even going to start on how you look at him--like you can see the rainbow from the fountain in his eyes. Did you have to have a killer smile? He really wishes he could look at you longer to see if he can find rainbows in yours as well.
“Sir,” the choir of students pull him out of his thoughts.
He pulls off the wall and struts behind the desk. He stares at the board. You’ve already erased your writings. He frowns. He’s been meaning to compliment you on that, but he can’t bring himself to speak to you; his tongue gets caught. But that doesn’t stop him from wandering around the desk with his eyes. You were in such a hurry; maybe you forgot—Bingo.
“What’s this?” He raises the paper to show the students. Like he’d said, he’s not much of a history guy, but he’s pretty sure there isn’t a country called Sorellea, with the head monarch being you. It’s cute; he likes the idea.
“Was this art or history?” he asks. Who knows? You could be an art teacher as well.
He studies the piece. You’re really good at it too.
“She forgot it? Sir, you should give it to her.” Oh, he plans on doing exactly that. But maybe—he slips the A4 paper into his books for safekeeping.
-
You’ve been ignoring your mother’s texts, not out of spite. You’ve just been busier than you thought. It’s definitely a struggle to fill in Mrs. Smith's shoes.
“How are things going?” Jimin asks. You haven’t spoken to him much, but he’s been a help with questions or curiosities you may have here and there.
And being another young person around here, you get along fine you would say.
But you aren’t particularly close to him. “Uh—it’s good.” You nod, watching him pick up his stuff from the locker.
People at this school don’t play around about clocking out. Immediately the last bell goes off, if they don’t have extra duties, they are right out the door. So right now, the staffroom is completely empty, save for you, Jungkook, and Jimin (who can’t wait any longer to leave).
Jungkook is the only one you’ve noticed who isn’t in a rush.
You’ve never been the type to stay after school hours, only because you’d be the only one. You hated being alone in that school.
You do love the silence of this school, so staying after hours is like escapism. It’s better than being home. So you’re glad that Jungkook stays behind.
Jimin nods and hums at your lackluster response. He turns to Jungkook, who has his eyes and red pen glued to paper, as if not paying attention to your presence.
“Jungkook, have you called Smith?” he mock asks. You and Jungkook tighten up at the mention of Mrs. Smith. Is she better? You’d like to believe you’re both tense for different reasons, but it’s sort of the same. “You two were great buddies.” He laughs, and all Jungkook does is chuckle and finally lift his head.
His slicked-back hair has grown tired, and some strands have fallen in front of his face. His sleeves are rolled up. You turn away; this isn’t your conversation.
“I’ll to ring her up and make sure she’s not back any time soon.”
Jimin laughs and waves goodbye to both of you.
That silence you crave sinks in, but it doesn’t bring you the comfort you expected. Something’s bothering you, and Jungkook can tell by the way you sigh and look down at the street from the window. The setting sun shines an orange hue over your figure. Your hair is a bit looser, and your collar lies unevenly. He wonders if you’ve noticed; you probably haven’t. If you had, you would’ve fixed it. He doesn’t know why it bothers him, but he could simply just walk over there, fix your collar, and walk back, but...
Jungkook isn’t sure why you stay behind. For him, he’s got work to do. He hates taking work back home; he likes to separate his two lives. But you’re new; you couldn’t have much work. Or maybe you could if Mrs. Smith left you a handful of things to go through. That old bag. She’s so capable of that.
But no, you have no work left to do. It’s your flaw that’s holding you back—your curiosity. Intrigue. You could be heading home right now to your new apartment, barely broken into.
You haven’t bothered to unpack your stuff still. Worst-case scenario, you don’t get the job and have to move back in with your mother. But even the best-case scenario has you staring out the window, wondering where you’d place a coffee table or what type of mats you would have to buy that would fit. How many meters?
You need to stop running away. If you’re gonna waste your time here doing nothing, you could at least talk to Jeon. Feed your bad habit.
“So...” you start but stop when you find Jungkook looking at you already. For the first time, you’re the one looking away. You chuckle, rubbing your forehead. You shouldn’t say anything; honestly, he probably wants to be alone and at peace, but here you are invading it.
“What were you saying?”
You chuckle when he inquires. Shit. “I just wanted to ask you how you like the school.”
He doesn’t look up at you. But when he does, he says, “I can’t hear what you’re saying.”
You stare at the distance between you. The room is not extremely large, but it’s too big for the number of people that work here. You’d have to make your voice louder as you speak. But it’s just the two of you, so your voice should be clear enough.
Even though you still make the decision to move closer and take the seat opposite him. Jungkook watches you place a book and some paper on the table as you sit. He didn’t expect you to move closer, but it’s what he hoped for.
Your perfume invades his senses, and he could swear he’s smelled it somewhere in his dreams.
“I was asking how you like the school, Jeon?” You emphasize the fact that you want to know how he genuinely feels. Not some polished answer that's PR perfect.
He sits up, pushes his loose hair back, and sighs. You look away, finding solace in random objects around the room.
But then Jungkook laughs—like seriously, like he’s just heard the funniest thing ever. Did you say something funny?
“What?”
“Jungkook.” He says, and you raise a brow at him.
“Huh?”
“You keep calling me Jeon; call me Jungkook. It’s my first name.”
You hadn’t even realized. “Oh. I should’ve been calling Mr. Jeon Anyways. I suck at names, don’t I?” You chuckle, and he smiles.
“You don’t need to call me Mr. either.”
You nod appreciatively.
“Well, you can call me Miss.” It’s funny how quickly you can get comfortable with him for some reason. You watch him smile. Does he have a timer for his smile or something? Because he barely smiles during school.
He leans back into his chair, maintaining eye contact with your book. “Okay, Miss.”
“I asked you a question.”
He scrunches his face.
“Oh right! What do I think of this school?” He looks for clarification, and you nod. “It’s a nice school, great facilities, and well-behaved students. I hate that goddamn bell, though.”
You laugh. Is this the same man?
He raises a brow when he sees you shake your head. “You practiced?.” You open your book to nothing and scribble with your pen.
Jungkook narrows his eyes at the movement of your pen. Why do you care? Has the director sent you to spy? Are you one of those who kiss up to the man? No, you looked really uncomfortable standing next to him when he was introducing you.
“Tell me what answer you’d like,” his eyes lower at you as his head tilts, but you don’t spot it. “And I’ll give it to you.”
You scribble lines, ovals, broken lines. Broken thoughts.
“I don’t have a specific answer that I want; I just want the truth.” maybe he can tell you something that will break your fantasy about this place.
He nods, understanding. His papers are long gone at this point, and his red pen is playing between his fingers under the table.
“Well, the truth is, I hate it here.” His honesty takes you aback, like you hadn’t asked for it. But before you can ask follow-ups, he’s already cutting in. “Honestly, I think I’m projecting.” He shakes his head and returns to his paper. Why the hell is he telling you he hates this place? He wants you to stay, not want to leave.
“What do you mean?” You lean your elbows forward and notice how he tucks himself back into his papers. You almost had it.
“Ask me something else, and I’ll answer.”
Well...okay.
“W-were you always good at math?” That’s the only thing you can think of. You wait for an answer, and it comes in the shake of his head. “I’ve never really liked it; I sucked.”
He doesn’t smile this time, and you can feel the awkwardness seep back in. Did you say something bad? “I was bad at it too?” he says.
“No, not as bad as me. I was more of a words-over-numbers girl.”
He looks up at you, and you have a face that tells him you must be thinking of your younger self. He happens to be wondering the same. Just by the way you speak, he can tell you’re telling the truth. Jungkook has been the numbers guy, calculating probabilities or counting how many seconds he can go without hating himself for not speaking to you. Ten seconds. Every fucking ten seconds. He doesn’t even know how he managed to talk to you in the beginning.
“Jungkook?” he flinches when you call out. “Are you listening to me?”
“What? What did you ask?”
You smile. “You haven’t answered my question. I’m starting to think you’re really bad at this.”
He is, god, he is, and he wishes you knew. Maybe you’d—he collects himself. He hasn’t graded a single thing since you walked over here. He can’t.
Jungkook places his papers away.
“I always liked math...” he starts, and you lean in, intrigued, like it’s some gossip. It is somewhat like gossip; it’s feeding your curiosity. Invading his mind. “...but it didn’t really like me back.” He looks up and finds you looking at him with a smile. Your own book forgotten. Did he say something funny?
“But my parents weren’t a fan of that, so I worked hard.” You wait for him to go on, but he doesn’t.
“That’s it?” you ask genuinely but pull back. You don’t mean to sound rude. "Sorry."
His laugh comforts you. “My life isn’t so exciting, Miss.”
“Call me Yn; I was kidding.” You cut in immediately, with a cringe look on your face.
“My life isn’t so exciting, Yn.” He says your name like a secret—a wish of some sorts. It’s like a coin and the hope of a dream come true before he throws it into the fountain.
“That’s a shame.” You puff out air. When you stand, your chair scratches against the floor. His heart drops. “I guess I’ll get going.” You walk to the locker, and Jungkook feels like his heart might fall. He has to say something. Keep you here longer.
He could ask about how you became a teacher; you’re more interesting than he is. Or he could ask why you even speak to him. He could ask.
Maybe you’re being too curious, and he’s finding you annoying. You wouldn’t blame him. The sun is setting, and honestly, you don’t want to walk in the dark. You have your things gathered as you head for the door.
“Wait.”
You freeze like you have no autonomy. Jungkook walks over to you, fast. What the hell is he about—his hand reaches to your neck—no, your collar. Is he fixing your collar? Your collar needed fixing? It seems it did, and Jungkook notices and fixes it. And when he pulls his tattooed arm away, you stare as much as you can at your collar and at him.
“I’m sorry; it was bothering me,” he confesses.
You laugh for no reason. “Thank you.” You have no clue what to do, so you both just stand there awkwardly, staring at everything. Right, you were heading home. The sky isn’t getting any brighter.
But before you leave, you just have to say one thing. “It was really nice talking to you; thanks for keeping me company.”
Jungkook is confused, but you’re smiling too pretty for him to ask. So he just nods. Was he keeping you company? Why did you stay longer anyway? You wave at him before walking away, and he stares longer than he wanted to.
It’s either two things: he says nothing and stops talking to you, or he says something and you can talk forever.
Well, he isn’t going to say anything, so that’s that.
He wants to. He wants to desperately ask you why you feel the need to be kind to him or ask him questions. He wants to tell you he appreciates it and is grateful. He wants to tell you your presence is oddly peaceful and how he wants to feel it all the time. But he can’t, and he won’t be able to. So instead, he’ll just stay away. Not talk to you, because if you continue speaking, he’ll break.
But just because he’s avoiding you doesn’t mean he doesn’t see you. Unfortunately and fortunately, he sees you. Every time and everywhere. He sees you when he’s teaching, when he’s walking in the halls, when he’s having his lunch, in the staffroom. You’re everywhere, and he feels like he’s going crazy. The more he tries to keep away, the more you appear. And every time he does see you, he feels happier—and so do you. But maybe it’s because you’re familiar with each other.
He’s the only chaos in this environment, the only thing that isn’t perfect or structured, and that’s why you keep trying to investigate him. He feels the same about you. You’re the event that broke his ‘elderly history teachers’ theory, and now he wants to know more. You make him curious.
He hates that he can’t sit by the fountain bench, because he knows you’ll be there, and he can’t avoid a conversation. Can’t avoid your questions and confessions. He can’t avoid you. You’re infesting his mind and his life, and he’s not sure how long he’ll survive.
Even as he teaches, the students bring you up. They ask if they are allowed in the staffroom to see a teacher—which has never been a concern, so he doesn’t know what to say. He says they can, though. Because when you have students keeping you busy, you won’t turn to look at him or ask him for a pen, knowing he’s surely going to give it to you. Even if it was the last red one he had. But the next day, he makes sure to buy a pack and gift you the whole thing.
“Thank you,” you say, pulling out one from the box and handing the rest back to him. But you’re confused when he shakes his head.
“The whole thing is yours.” He stares at the box. He’s never cared to gift fellow teachers things, but for some reason, he thinks you need this.
“Oh.” He watches how you pull it closer to you, like it’s precious.
Your smile grows gradually.
“Thank you.” You’re in serious awe. Why—“Nobody’s ever gifted me something like this.”
Probably because they gift you better things, he thinks. He should’ve gotten you a pen holder too. How did he forget that? He’s worrying about what he didn’t do when he watches you frown and pull the box closer to you, like you want it to fuse into you.
With a smile hiding a frown, you turn, meet his eyes—weirdly, he doesn’t turn away, maybe because he can’t, when you look at him like that. “I appreciate you.”
The words burrow into his soul from your eyes. It’s insane how such small attention has you feeling sentimental.
This school's the only thing you have in this city and Jungkook the only thing you have in this school.
“At my previous school...” you begin before he can say anything. “I could never keep a red pen for more than a day. I don’t know if it got eaten...” you laugh. “But my conclusion was that the other teachers were stealing my pens. I’m not sure, though.” You're sure.
He’s pretty sure that was the case. From what you told him about them; they seem like the type. “I hated it—looking through my stuff, trying to grade papers and not finding it. Sometimes I’d get so frustrated I’d cry. It’s stupid crying over a pen, I know.”
“It’s not,” he says, looking at you. He’s never comforted anyone before. “I’ve cried over a pen too.” He’s never, but he hopes it comforts you. He’s read that relating helps with comforting someone.
You smile. “You don’t seem like the type, but thanks.” You caught him. There’s a beat of silence before you go on. “So weirdly, I feel like this is the universe giving me back all the pens I lost.”
That’s when he loses his mind. Him? Being part of the universe’s plan to make you happy? Though he did most of the work.
“But I don’t believe in the universe, so maybe this is just a coincidence. Right?” You stare up at him, eyes sincere and glistening with wetness.
What does he say? Is it a coincidence?
He sighs, staring at the fountain. Rainbows brighter than usual.
“Yeah. Just a coincidence.”
You smile. “I really appreciate it, really.”
“I know.”
“I won’t lose them this time.” Even if you did lose the whole box and were back to asking him for his last, he’d give it to you and buy a bigger box the next day.
“There’s nobody to steal them here.”
You chuckle. “Right.”
Silence.
Jungkook stares at his watch, then turns to you.
“Cover your ears.” He says suddenly, and you’re confused. But when he doesn’t elaborate and covers his, you do the same.
Why the hell is this dude telling you to cover your ears, and you’re just going along with this? You look stupid. It’s not like you’re the only people in school; you probably—RINNNNNNNGGGG. You cringe but don’t flinch. You finally hear it—the stupid bell. Is that why—when you turn to look at him, he’s already standing.
Why can’t you stand? Your ass is seriously glued to the bench. Your eyes are glued to his. He smiles, really. No teeth, but you see his cheeks crease. You can see his eyes brighten, his ears red. He smiles like a 9th grader.
“Have a nice day, Yn.”
You don’t even get to respond when he’s walking away. And you’re left staring at his back and wondering if his ears were red or if it’s just you projecting.
Jungkook was fooling himself when he said he could avoid you. Maybe he can, but you’re like a bee to a bright summer flower. It’s inevitable.
His problem is not avoiding you; it’s saying no to any advance you make.
-
Your sinuses clear up once you walk out of the head teacher's office.
“Don’t think she realizes how hard she’s going with the sir fresher,” you say, sniffling.
Jungkook doesn’t say anything after a nod.
You stop walking and turn to talk to him. He stops too—just instinct. “We’re going to have to stop by the store. You free on the weekend?”
He’s free every time; it’s something he’s proud of, but others would pity.
“Yeah.”
“Good, we can go then and get this over with.” You freeze at your words. “I don’t mean it like that.”
Jungkook’s not judging you. He feels the same. Though you seem to either have a great or horrible judge of character to say that to someone.
“Okay, see you.”
For some reason, the head teacher had assigned you and Jungkook to make a get-well-soon basket for Mrs. Smith. Something to make it look like the school cares about her.
Team building, she called it. But it's just you and Jungkook.
You were chosen because you’re her replacement, and Jungkook because he was close to her, as you hear.
“You think she’s a chamomile or ginger tea girl?” you say, directing Jungkook to either one of the teas. But he watches you instead—too eager and comfortable to be out with him in public. It’s nothing, but at the same time, so different, and you acting like this is not new adds to his thoughts.
Is he overthinking things? Is he the one misinterpreting all this?
You stare at him for an answer. “Chamomile. She hates ginger,” he says, tone flat, and looks back into the cart.
“That was decisive.” You raise a brow; the last thing you want is to get something wrong and have them thinking you’re doing it on purpose, to get her job forever.
“She’s mentioned it before,” he defends.
“And you remembered?" you raise a brow at him.
“Details stick.”
You hum, throwing both of them in the basket.
“I said she doesn’t like ginger.”
“But I like it.”
Jungkook stares at the box as though he can see your prints on it. Ginger? Interesting. You move along the aisle, checking off stuff on the list. Having you here has made it much easier. He feels women are much better at this. They know how to make something feel homey. Even if you don’t know Mrs. Smith, it feels genuine and made with love.
Even being out in the store, which is an in-and-out scenario for him, you’ve managed to make it feel like an adventure he does not want to end. You’ve made something usually stressful feel peaceful.
Is this what having a woman by your side feels like? Like peace? Or is it just you? Is it just you that carries this presence?
“Shortbread or chocolate chip cookies?” You hold the two up, asking him like you’ve known him forever.
“Chocolate chip.”
You tilt your head. Chocolate chip? Does she? You don’t know much, but you rarely see older people like chocolate chip.
“These are for Mrs. Smith, Jungkook.” You remind him, and that’s when he catches himself slipping off into a fantasy. He forgot about her, honestly.
“Then you should go with shortbread. My bad.”
You playfully narrow your eyes at him. He looks tired—out of it even. Hunched over the trolley like you’re a girlfriend forcing him around.
You shake your head, and he watches the two packets land. Before he can question, you speak.
“Gotta treat ourselves too.”
And once your back is turned, he smiles to himself. Hard.
Walking back to school, which isn’t too far from the store, you take the time to look around the city. You haven’t gotten a chance to travel around and have no clue where you would go. You want to explore every crevice. It’s all new to you.
As the wind shakes the leaves on the trees, you smile. Everything just feels unreal, like a dream you’re going to wake up from. But it isn’t a dream, which now keeps you in a loop of worrying when something else other than waking is going to come and take this from you.
Looking over at Jungkook, who almost begged to carry the bags, leaving you with the basket, you smile. What’s even crazier about this is how casual you feel around him now. he's the on ly thing you'd say you're used to in this city. You should be picking at your nails around him, worrying that you might be talking too much or acting too comfortable. But you don’t, and he doesn’t tell you otherwise, either. He just listens.
“You’ve lived here long?”
For a second, he doesn’t realize you’re talking to him. Too focus on the route to school. He doesn’t usually look around, already too used to this place.
“I guess so. Ten years.”
You gasp. “Wow, that’s a lot. You moved here with your family?”
Your questions are a gift and a curse. He smiles. “Alone.” He knows you’re going to ask more, so why not beat you to it. “Moved here for college and never moved back.”
You nod, envious. You wish you had done that. But your mother was so afraid of you moving so far away, and in turn, you were afraid too. You wish you had listened to yourself. Could’ve saved yourself the mental ache.
“You regret it?” you wonder.
“Do you regret it?”
You look around, thinking. “Nothing to regret just yet. But no, I don’t.”
“Good. Don’t regret anything.”
He doesn’t answer your question, but you don’t bother; you’ve bothered him enough.
Once you’re in the school, it’s dead silent and cold. It’s the weekend; you’re not surprised.
“So we arrange the stuff, and I’ll take it to her,” he says, laying everything on the table.
“You alone?”
He tilts his head. “You wanna come along?”
“I don’t mind.”
He nods. “Then we pack the stuff and take it to her.”
You smile a little too happy. He judges you but does too.
You were all he could see for some time, but now you’re all he wants to see. So, when you walk into the staffroom a little later than usual, he eyes you down until you face him, smile, and wave. It’s like a routine now, and it’s all his brain's waiting for.
Same for you; the first thing you think to do when you walk into school is greet him. And it’s what you do. It has so much of your focus that you don’t pay attention to the discussion going on in the staffroom.
“Hi, Jeon.” He smiles because he knows you do it only to tease him.
Normally, you say hi from a distance and go to your desk. But he’s shocked to see you pull the chair next to him.
“Hey,” he says back, not wanting to pay attention to you sitting down next to him. Do you plan on staying here long, forever?
“You're late,” he states.
“You’re the only one who’s noticed,” you say, causing him to smile. When you’re both together, it’s almost like there’s no one else around—like you’re in your own world.
“You okay?”
You pause. “You care?”
“Just asking.”
You roll your eyes. You know he does. You assume.
“I’m fine; just lost track of time.”
He nods. “If you want this job long-term, you need to do better.”
“Is that supposed to be helpful advice?”
“Take it or leave it.”
“You know I miss when you were quiet.” You’re too busy unloading your bag that you don’t see the look on his face, like you just kicked him in the shin. When you do catch it, you chuckle and reach to touch his shoulder. “I’m kidding.”
He stares at your hand. You’re touching him. You hate to admit that you kept your hand there longer on purpose; you had a feeling he’d be buff under there. You pull your hand away.
“I’m kidding,” you emphasize.
He hasn’t gotten used to your sarcasm, or maybe it’s the fact that he takes everything you say as gospel, so that’s why it hits hard. “I’m sorry; I was trying to give you advice. Seems like I’m not good at it.”
You frown. He’s not pouting or sounding like he’s joking, so you take him seriously. “I was joking, Jungkook. I know you were giving me advice. I appreciate it.”
Appreciate—that word has become a trigger for hope to Jungkook of late.
“I need more advice from you. You’re smart.” You smile at him as you play with one of his pens between your fingers. He smiles and looks back at his papers.
“What’s going on?” you ask, fully sitting next to him. He looks to where you point.
“They’re talking about students.”
“Really? What about?” You ask, even though you could just pay attention and get the gist, and you know Jungkook realizes that too. He explains.
“They pretend to act so well, but they’re maniacs.” You finally lock into the chatter of the room.
“The students aren’t bad,” you contribute, and God, it’s like you just ripped a fat one with the way they stare at you.
Caroline, the art teacher, laughs. “It’s because you’re new, dear. Just wait.”
Is it because you’re new? You don’t know, and you don’t know if you’ll ever. You’ve been here for 2 months now; are you still new? You can’t know unless—
“She’s right; they’re not that bad.” You hear Jungkook chime in. It’s just his opinion; it’s not like he’s jumping in to defend you. But why does your heart flutter like it is? Maybe it’s because you know he normally wouldn’t join the conversation. You’re cracking him.
Caroline, being rather talkative, chuckles and goes on. “Jungkook, it’s because you’re intimidating, so they respect you.” You scrunch your face watching her. You don’t like the way she speaks; she’s too loud. “Your quiet and eerie nature's terrifying.” She waves her hands to allude to his aura, and the grossed look on her face makes you scowl.
“Jungkook isn’t intimidating. And he’s quiet because some of you aren’t so fun to talk to.” You emphasize with eye contact that you’re talking to her. You’ve never been confrontational, but you’ve always been good at defending people other than yourself. It’s second nature.
Jungkook didn’t need you to do that. He would’ve just ignored her like he always does. They think he’s odd because he doesn’t smile often—often because there’s nothing to smile about. And you’re right; a lot of them aren’t fun to talk to.
When he turns, you’re smiling at him. That smile makes him feel like he’s under the sun and by the fountain again.
There’s a silence as you settle into your own things. It’s not long until the bell rings, and even if you don’t expect it, you don’t flinch. Jungkook smiles; you’re getting used to it.
You feel from beside you that he’s standing up. “I have a class,” he says when you look up at him like he’s stabbed you.
“Oh, okay.”
He gathers his stuff, and you look at yours. Why are you acting like this?
“See ya,” you say, not looking at him, and he can’t help but feel weird about it. He knows he can’t, but he wants to sit next to you the whole day. He wishes he could skip class.
“See ya,” He touches your shoulder before he leaves.
Is he mocking you?
Once he’s left, you’re back to creating your teaching plans. That’s when Caroline speaks.
“We have detention routines around here." she informs you, and you stare at her, looking for the point of the conversation. “It’s your day today.” She’s sassy with it, but you ignore her.
You had no idea this routine existed, but you won’t argue. You just hope it’s not some humiliation ritual or something.
It’s not going to be difficult. You know what detention is. And honestly, you’ve loved it—not for the students, but because you get to stay at school longer, and not alone. Of course, it annoys you that they couldn’t inform you beforehand, but it is what it is. You want this job, and you won’t let your pride cost you.
You nod softly, and you can see it annoys her. Did she expect you to argue?
It’s the end of the school day, and you and Jungkook are up to your own routines.
Alone in the staff room, the silence eating you alive.
“Do you need a ride home?” he asks.
“How do you know I don’t have a ride already?”
“I don’t.” He does, but he says it so simply that you believe him. “Do you?”
You contemplate saying yes just to drag the conversation on, just to tease. But you don’t. “No, I don’t.”
Jungkook settles into the silence, forgetting he started the conversation and has to carry it on. “You need a ride then?”
Your smile is delicate as usual.
“No.” Jungkook’s heart sinks, and he regrets opening his mouth. “I’m on detention duty or whatever.” Speaking of which.
You stand.
“Thank you, though.” You need to stop smiling at him this often.
“I’ll probably see you tomorrow, right?”
“Yeah.” you see each other every working day.
When you get to the designated class, the students are already there. So you do like it was explained to you and hand out the detention forms.
Some students look at it confused, like you are as well. You’ve never experienced a school like this.
After handing them out, you walk to the teacher's table and place the leftovers down.
“So I guess you’re supposed to fill out those papers... then I’ll collect them when you’re done.” You sit down on the chair with a tired huff. Your feet ache. You’ve been wearing heels of late, even though you know how much walking you do around here. But they make you look cute. It’s a small price to pay for looking good.
You stare up from your now set-free feet. Feels good.
“Is it a test?” It’s an 11th-grade student who asks. You wouldn’t know as well; you were just as confused. You pick up the paper to refresh what you were being instructed. But all you can remember is Jungkook in his element. You were walking by a class he was teaching, and you knew because you heard his voice, his laugh. You smiled. He looked so much happier. Maybe if he could teach the teachers math, they would see how much personality he has. You’ve only seen and experienced a minuscule of it, but just from that, you know he is more than he shows. You just want to know what more? What is he made of?
So yeah, you don’t remember a single thing explained about these papers.
“From what I can see—” you continue to analyze. “I think it’s some kind of self-reflection.” You lean back, coming to the conclusion. “I don’t know, but I don’t think you’ll be graded for it,” you hope. Are they supposed to be submitted to some disciplinary department or something? You have no clue what to do or who to ask. The students seem to be new at detention too, so they wouldn’t know. What did they even do to get in here?
Shit—you aren’t working as hard as you should be, and it’s all because of Jungkook. Well, it’s not his fault; you’re the one letting him get into your head—
“It’s a form you have to give your parents.”
Your head snaps to the door so quickly you've probably snapped something. You’ve already been thinking about him, so you thought you were going crazy hearing his voice. He stands by the door, and you analyze him like you’ve seen a ghost, like you haven’t seen him the whole day. Didn’t he leave? You thought he left.
“The paper.” He strides to you, grabbing the paper that you were barely gripping. He smiles at you before looking at the students and explaining what it’s for.
Why the hell does he smile so easily all of a sudden? He’s too random for you. One moment he’s joking with you, the next he’s taking your words seriously. One moment he’s not smiling or even looking at you, and then he’s maintaining eye contact with a smile like you’re a camera. And just like one, you’ll save the image.
There being only one chair, Jungkook leans against the desk next to you, folding his arms. His sleeves are rolled up. His tattoos—shit. Oh gosh. Why does he transform from this sweet guy to this hot guy after the last bell?
“What are you doing here?” You muster the strength to look at him and not at his undone buttons.
“Thought you’d need some help.”
You swallow hard.
“Those papers?” he points, serious. “Very important you sign them.” Is he mocking you?
“I knew that; I can read.”
He nods, not believing you, and you scoff, not believing yourself to tease back.
“How long were you standing there?” You hadn’t noticed him or a single shadow, so you can only imagine how long he was standing there. If it was for long, what was he staring at—your suffering?
“Not long.” He bites his lip.
“Creep.” His face straightens when you call him that. A creep? Him? “I’m joking.” There he goes, acting like you weren’t joking with each other just before. He’s impossible, but you enjoy it.
“No, really, I thought you went home.” You had planned to mark some essays during this detention's silent time. But you doubt you’ll get anything done if Jungkook stays here. Is he going to? Whatever he does, you'll stare at the essays throughout the conversation.
“Couldn’t leave you here alone.” You lift your head to stare at him waiting for more. He leans in mockingly at your wide eyes. “This place can be a little creepy.”
You tear your eyes off him and back to your papers. He scoffs, doing the same. “Can it?”
You’ve just realized that you’ve never stayed after hours without Jungkook being around. So maybe it does get creepy. You’ll never know.
There’s a silence, but Jungkook stays next to you. It feels like he’s invading your space, but he isn’t at all; it’s just your nerves. You can hear some of the students sigh and mumble something, but it’s none of your concern because your eyes are glued to the papers. You planned on using this place to grade this stuff, so that’s what you’re going to do. Because you’ve got a job to do at the end of the day.
You don’t need to be worrying about a Jungkook who reads how your hands fumble with the pen.
Does he make you nervous? If only you knew what he was fg. Or maybe he makes you uncomfortable. He straightens his back.
Does he? You defend him in the staff room, so maybe not. But when you look at the bigger picture, no matter how many times he’s listened to you or kept you company, he has been very distant. And he knows people can interpret it as coldness. Even though you still talk to him, you might think he’s cold and harsh. Shit. He doesn’t want you to think of him that way.
“I’m sorry,” he says softly. The students aren’t able to hear your conversation because they’ve all taken themselves to the back seats, as if that would save them from detention.
“Huh?”
You’re confused. What is he apologizing for?
“For being so off? Awkward?” he lists. “Intimidating?”
You laugh. He can’t tell where it’s coming from.
“Caroline’s a bitch; don’t listen to her.”
“I know, but—” How does he say it? “To you. Being awkward with you.”
The words come out like a confession. Serious. Your face falls to being serious.
“I mean, I don’t think so.” The thought plays in your mind. “Well, you are kind of quiet when we talk. But I don’t think you’re off or intimidating.”
“But you think I’m awkward?”
You roll your eyes. “Nothing wrong with that. I’m awkward too.”
“Really?” He doesn’t believe you.
“I’m only this way because there can’t be two awkward teachers. It’s canonically impossible for a school.”
He laughs.
“Know what else is canon?”
You tilt you head.
“An elderly history teacher. But here you are.”
“Guess miracles do happen.”
He laughs. “Calling yourself a miracle?”
“One for the books.”
He laughs again. Maybe he’s wrong, and you’re not kind but a really (really) good liar, using your kindness and position as a history teacher to put yourself in the history books. Kindest, youngest, and most beautiful history teacher to ever exist.
It’s quite fitting.
But it has Jungkook thinking. You always tell him the truth. And he...well.
“You asked me how I got good at math, right?”
You remember that. “Yeah. You said it was because of your parents, right?”
He sucks in a breath; he never thought he was going to tell you this, but...“I lied.” Your brows raise.
“You lied?” You aren’t offended that he lied; honestly, you don’t think much of it. All you're wondering is what the truth is.
“Yeah. That wasn’t the real reason.”
It seems like a reasonable reason to what could be the truth. There can’t be a any other reason to become good at math, can there? “Then what is it?”
He breathes in. He hates remembering those memories. It’s like he’s getting his head beaten in again. And you can tell. So you comfortingly say.
“You don’t have to tell me.”
Your words ground him.
“No, it’s fine.” He sighs and smiles, something he was never able to do back then. “I was getting bullied.” He says softly, but you gasp, calling for attention.
You brush the students away with a comforting smile. Jungkook laughs. You make it easy to share things with. He’s never told anyone about this. Not anyone who cares or did anything, anyway.
“They’d want me to do their work, but I was not any good. So they’d hit me.”
You freeze and your heart thumps. Why the hell—you never understood it, even after catching a few incidents like that. All you knew was that you hated it. Hated anyone who would do that to someone else.
You continue to listen, seeing that it’s the only thing you can do right now. Sometimes words aren’t as comforting as someone just listening. He’s listened to you, and you really prefer that to someone spewing ‘I’m sorry’ like they’re the ones who hurt you.
“They could never leave me alone.”
“What grade was that?”
“Third.” He says, and you stiffen. “Then I spent nine more years with them.”
you can tell how strong he's being. but you've never been that. he can tell you're picturing it and are disturbed by it. should he not have told you. fuck, your eyes. are you about to cry? you don't
You want to reach out your hand so badly. It twitches. You can’t. You’re still on duty. It’s so hard to remember the world.
“I’m okay.” He smiles, noticing your hand but touches your shoulder instead. You relax. “But I had to learn math so I could do their work and not get hit. Sometimes they’d hit me anyway.” All he wanted at that time, even more than them leaving him alone, was to know why. Why him? Out of everybody. Why every single time? Why didn’t they stop even after—
Jungkook flinches when he feels warmth envelop his hand. He hadn’t noticed how you’d placed a box to block the touch. You just had to. It’s the only way you've known how to comfort. And it’s all Jungkook has ever needed.
“So, there's real answer to why and how I became good at math,” he jokes, clearly still shaken by the memory but being strong. Strong for too long. You know people like him. But at least he’s more confident to face the memory and event. Better than you.
“I’m glad you’re here.” Your hand is still on his, and he can’t ignore how it relaxes him.
“Thank you.”
“No, thank you for being able to share that with me. I’m glad you trust me.”
He trusts you? Is that what this means?
“I’m glad you’re here too.” His hand flips yours over to intertwine your fingers. It could be an overstep from what you intended, but he doesn’t think of that, and you don’t pull away. You don’t mind. You needed that. A reason to remind you that moving was the best choice you've made.
“You’re gonna need that ride; it’s getting dark.” The students are long gone with their parents. Forms handed in and everything done cprrectly. Jungkook made sure of it.
“No, I’m good. My home is within walking distance,” you say, you on the sidewalk and his car moving slowly next to you.
“You sure? It’s not a problem for me.”
You smile to try and convince him.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I swear.”
“Okay. But I’m not coming to your funeral.”
You scrunch your face. First time you've heard that. You laugh.
“Why?” You don’t even acknowledge the fact that you could die. Something could happen to you even with—take that ride—no.
“Because I’d cry too hard.” He’s becoming too honest with you. Too honest.
“Are you joking with me, Jeon? You care?”
He laughs. “Is it a crime?”
“Careful; I’ll think you want to be my friend.”
“Too late.” You blush. Gosh, you’re embarrassing. "You dont know how to take compliments or help do you?"
you want to argue but he's right. Instead you roll your eyes and wave him off.
“See you tomorrow, Jeon.”
“Be safe, Yn.”
You watch his car roll away, and you feel like it’s left with your heart. Like it’s left with any peace or light you thought you had.
His light disappears, and you realize just how dark it is. The rush of fear sinks in like a rock. You wish you could yell for him, but his car is too far gone. You could call him.
-
The rustle of bushes still startles you to this day because he usually jumped out of them when he was waiting for you. Odd behavior, but nothing about him was ever normal. You had no clue how you dated such a guy.
After work, he somehow always knew how to find his way to the school’s doors in the name of waiting for you and giving you a ride. You never took them because the one time you did, you found yourself begging him to slow down.
Fucking crazy.
“Just be with me, Yn. I apologize; I’m sorry,” he screamed as you watched the accelerator increase. Craziest night of your life. You thought that was gonna be it that day, but some sweet lies had him calming down.
You can never ride with a man after that. It’s honestly hard to interact with men after that. You’re always looking for red flags or signs of insanity, and spotting them early on has saved you.
But now, in the city, the bushes don’t rustle, the roads are slow, and the nights are bright. And you’re happy.
You don’t regret a thing.
-
Over the course of a week, you continue to talk more with Jungkook. He’s a little brighter.
But with that comes more asks if you need a ride, and you decline every time. Not to be mean, and he can see that.
You did go back to your window seat, which Jungkook was sad about, but who is he kidding? He can see you better from there.
The students are treating you like you’ve worked here for years. They’re kind, of course; they can get out of hand, but not as much as you’d expect.
It’s great that you’re liking this school. And with that come thoughts of Mrs. Smith. You don’t have her contact info, so you can’t call to check how she’s doing. And the director doesn’t inform you either. So, it feels like you’re walking in a minefield, and at any moment, everything could go south. The attachment to this place, the peace and stability you feel here, the students, Jungkook.
Jungkook.
What would you do if you had to leave? You’d have to move out of town either way, and he’d probably stay back. You’re not one for a long-distance relationship—look at you, thinking about a relationship. You’re ridiculous; it’s embarrassing. You’ve gone ahead of yourself too many times, and you won’t let that happen with you and Jungkook. If he doesn’t make a move, then there’s nothing between you.
“Have you heard from Mrs. Smith?” you ask, hands on your lap and eyes on them as Jungkook checks his mirrors.
After many offers, you give in today.
“Huh? Oh—uh, no. Do you—I can call her if you want?”
You shake your head immediately. “No, no. I was just asking.” Jungkook finally settles. “It’s fine.” You reassure him.
He can see something’s bothering you.
“Are you worried about your job?”
You were avoiding saying it directly, but...“Yeah.” It all relies on her.
He nods with a hum. “I think they’d find a spot for you even if she got better.”
You stare at him. You don’t want to question and seem insecure, but you ask in your head.
“You’re really good at your job. Everybody likes you.”
“Caroline?”
“You care?” he raise a brow
“Not a little bit.”
You both laugh.
You don't care anymore.
“Here?” he asks, and you nod. And he asks again, “By the convenience store?” You nod, assuring him that he’s correct and you mean what you say.
He stops anyway. “I don’t see any apartments around here.” Jungkook looks around, confirming with himself. He watches you ready yourself to leave the car.
That’s the thing. You like Jungkook; you won’t tell him that, but you do. But it’s so hard for you to trust people—men especially. And you don’t know Jungkook that well when you think of it. You only know what he’s like at school.
It’s not that you think he’s a creep or could be anything of the sort. He’s a lovely guy. But it’s just safer this way—for you.
“Thank you.” You say, opening the door, and you see the way he’s confused by how serious you are. Are there some secret buildings that he doesn’t know of?
“I promise you it isn’t trouble for me.” He reassures.
You sigh. “I know it’s just that—” you look away and hold to yourself, and that’s when he notices.
The denying of his rides—seeing that your place isn’t as close as you said it was—but he sees you come to school and even sometimes leave with Mrs. Collins. The way you hold your purse too close. He sees.
He sighs.
“I’m sorry; you’re right.” He pulls away. He’s sure him insisting hadn’t made it better for you. In this day and age, he understands why you would be nervous to be with a man you barely know, and in a new city. He sees how it looks, and he hates that he didn’t make it any better. Why didn’t he think of it?
“It’s alright. It’s not your fault. You know I just—” he’s told you so much about himself, but you can’t. You just can’t. But you want to.
“You don’t have to explain anything; I get you 100%.” What does he even want to say? “I just—I just want you to know I want the best for you, and I’d never want to hurt you. I’m not that kind of person, and me bugging you about—”
You reach out. “No, no, it’s not your fault. And I don’t think anything of you. It’s just something I have to do for myself and—” you pause. “You’re a good guy, and I trust your intentions. It’s just we don’t know each other that well outside of school, so.”
“It’s okay; you have the right to feel that way.”
Silence.
“Well, thanks for the ride, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Sure, have a good night.” You can tell what just happened has hit him, and you kind of feel bad. It isn’t his fault you’ve had a fucked-up experience, and you hate that you feel like you might have made him feel some kind of way. With the way he didn’t look at you, you just hope you haven’t put him back in his shell.
You watch the car drive off before you’re on your way.
During the week, Jungkook was the same, still talking to you like normal. But he no longer asks if you need a ride. You kind of miss it—missed the way he said it so sweetly and sounded like he cared. But you know he’s doing it for your comfort, and you appreciate that even more. You do kind of feel shitty when you accidentally meet and hop out of Mrs. Collins' car. (You live in the building across from each other, but it’s not every time you get a ride because you’re not her priority, of course).
But he’s always kind and smiling at you, greeting you good morning like it doesn’t even bother him. You like that. You really do.
The end of the day is the same as well. You and Jungkook are alone in the staffroom, getting some work done. Then you get up, pack your stuff, and get your coat. Jungkook stays longer of late. You’re in the middle of your routine when he approaches you with something in his hand.
You stare at it and then at him with a confused smile.
“I assumed you didn’t have an umbrella,” he says.
“Why would I need one?”
“It’s gonna rain today.”
You’ve never cared to know the weather; you just deal with things as life goes.
“Is it?” You try to look out the window, and you have no clue how you didn’t notice the clouds and the little droplets. “You’re right.”
He nods—not to gloat. He’s not a weather guy too, but he happened to hear about the fact that there could be sudden rainfall, and his mind went to you. Mrs. Collins hadn’t come in today, so he just thought he might give this to you. How he got it was weird, and he wouldn’t want you to know, but it was an ex-girlfriend’s, and he’s always had it in his car. He wishes he could’ve gotten you a new one. But maybe next time. You deserve something new.
“I just thought you should have this.”
“Aww. Thank you.” Once your coat is on, you take it from his hands. You analyze the object. “It’s pretty, but kinda girly?” You raise a brow.
“Yeah, my sister’s.” It doesn’t matter. He’s not sure if you’ll reject it if you know, so he doesn’t risk it. Wouldn’t want you walking in the rain.
“Well, thank you. I’ll get going.”
“See ya,” he says it first, and you smile.
“See ya, Jungkook.”
-
You’re shocked at how much it’s actually rained. You never expected it. You guess you’re grateful for people who actually listen to the news.
-
When you walk into the bar, unsure, your eyes search for the familiar faces you were expecting.
You were not sure if you were going to come. Honestly, you didn’t want to, and Jungkook didn’t want to either, but you didn’t want to seem rude. They suggested you all go out; you hadn’t heard about them hanging out, and you didn’t expect it, but you guess they do.
At your previous school, no one wanted anything to do with the other outside of school unless they were having sex.
Your eyes immediately spot Jungkook, who was already looking at you. He waves you over, and you smile. Jungkook pulls open a seat right next to him like he was saving it for you.
“Thanks,” you say, sitting.
He nods.
“Thought you weren’t gonna come.”
You laugh and want to tell him how much you wanted to ditch.
“Couldn’t leave you here alone,” you say instead.
He chuckles.
Jungkook holds to himself, not wanting to stare too hard at you. But he can only help himself so much when he catches a glimpse of your reflection in a metal bowl. Even through how warped it is, he can still see every detail of you like he has it engraved in his brain.
“You don’t have to drink it if you don’t want to.”
Jungkook advises when he sees you staring at the cup of beer you just got served.
You shake your head.
“No, it’s fine.”
You say, but he doesn’t believe you.
“Do you drink?”
You laugh. Why does he ask? Do you look like you don’t? “I do; it’s just been a while.” You smile at him, but it doesn’t sway him.
You chug down the liquid quite smoothly, and the idea flickers. But no.
“You’re not drinking?"
“No, I’m driving.”
“Then why are you here?” you mock.
“You tell me.”
Truth is, Jungkook is only here because he knew you’d be here. Guess any excuse to see your face on the weekend.
After some drinks, you warm into the chatter of the group as though you weren’t having second thoughts about being here.
And Jungkook watches every glimpse of your smile. Even though you don’t talk to him much, he feels a warmth in his heart. A fullness. A madness to keep you closer and be there as you get tipsy.
“You look so cute together,” they profess randomly, staring at you and Jungkook.
“Huh?” You look at him, and he shrugs. You shake your head.
“Think Jungkook has a thing for history teachers." Jimin accuses, and Jungkook rolls his eyes, but when he catches you laugh a little too hard to be sober, he smiles.
It’s more like history teachers are the ones who like him.
Once the night's over, you and Jungkook take it outside and stand by a wall. You wave the rest goodbye and watch them get into cabs.
“They think we look cute together; what do you say?” You turn your head to look at him, eyes glossy and unfocused. You lean into him, your body stealing heat from his.
He smiles. “I’d say everybody’s drunk.” He shivers from the cold night wind. You look fine—probably too out of it to realize.
You roll your eyes. “You’re so uptight. Let loose a bit.”
Is who he is considered uptight? He hums, looking over at your blushed cheeks. Is that what you want—a man that can let loose?
“What would you suggest I do to be less uptight?”
“I don’t know. Ju—” you freeze, looking into the distance. Nothing out of the ordinary, just a group of men. Only thing unusual is one man in the group. You lean off the wall to get a better look. Are you hallucinating, or is that—
“Fuck.” Your heart drums against your rib cage. You slam yourself back into the wall as though he still couldn’t spot you. What the hell is he doing here? Is he looking for you? Yes, of course, he is, what other reason would he be in the city and at the bar you're at?
Fuck. What are the odds.
“Hey,” he says lowly. “You okay?” Jungkook watches your pupils contract and the blood drain from your face. He looks around—nothing—until he spots the group of men, and he sighs.
“Yeah...” you swallow hard, hoping they just walk away. Were you in the same place the whole time? If it’s you he’s come here for, he’s not gonna walk away until he bothers you—Jungkook or not. That’s if he’s spotted you. Doesn’t seem like it. “It’s just—”
Your ex turns his head. And stupidly, your eyes meet for more than a second.
You panic, and before you can think, you grab Jungkook by his collar. Maybe he won’t recognize you and look away.
The kiss was supposed to be quick—a cover-up, a shield. But Jungkook’s hand comes up behind your neck, warm and steady, grounding your body in front of him. He holds you there for a moment—a few moments too long.
When he finally lets you go, your voice comes out in a rush. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to. It’s just that I saw—”
“I know,” he cuts in.
Your chest tightens. “…You know?”
Jungkook’s gaze shifts behind him; the corner where your ex had been standing is now empty.
“Don't worry about him.” he murmurs, so softly you barely hear it.
“How do you know?”
——————————————— 11:11 ———————————————
So what do you think? I hope you liked it. let's chat about it 💬💬🥂
A/n: like I said this is the first part to a trilogy, so tenure is a trilogy, and I do have parts 2 and 3 already written so whilst this marinates, I'll be editing the next. so, no I will not abandon this project.
I hope you guys don't let this flop, cause I spent a lot much time and blood working on this. Anyways I appreciate you guys. Thanks.
Every positive like, reblog and comment is appreciated.
synopsis: you're just a foolish girl with a dumb crush you're willing to do dumb things for.
university au
yandere Jungkook x fem reader
warning: horror?? but definitely some dark stuff. dumb choices. but not much really...
A/n: I don't know what this is, I just felt like it. and i kinda like it.
read under cut
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
The university campus is desolate before 7pm, mainly due to the murderer that people have been saying is around.
Three murders, two students and a tutor. The killer’s still out there, and yet classes go on like nothing happened.
Some say it’s a student or just a random person but you have no clue what to think. Honestly it doesn't matter, the person needs to be caught regardless.
But even though you say that you don't seem to be paying attention to the protocol put in place to protect students.
Maybe it’s because you’ve always had this stupid belief that nothing bad could really happen to you. Or rather that you aren’t that important to the universe for you to be the centre of attention.
So even though it’s 10pm you still walk confidently from the library to your dorm.
Your path is straight until you spot Jeon Jungkook. You know him, share a class with him.
You had a crush on him too. Never talked to him much but have always wanted to, he just seems so interesting.
So you approach him, sitting on the bench on his phone.
“Aren't you afraid to have your throat slashed?” You start and he laughs looking up at you.
“Aren't you?” he says putting his phone away to give you his full attention. Taking his invitation you sit down next to him and it's weird cause you finally realize how scared you were before. You like to pretend you’re cool with things and being alone but honestly you're terrified especially with all this going on.
“Never been much of anyone's choice so I’ll be fine.” You joke but Jungkook shakes his head.
“Don’t say that, I’m sure a serial killer could find you worthy.”
You both laugh. It's insane how comfortable you feel already.
You both let a comfortable silence fall before you finally ask. “Why’re you out so late?” He doesn't look like he’s doing much, just has his phone unlike others who would have a book bag or laptop with them.
He chuckles awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck for a second like he doesn’t know whether to tell you or not.
“My roommates have their girlfriends over, so you know how that goes.” He looks at you with a stare you can't help but blush under.
“Uh yeah, I get it.” You don't get it from your own experience but from what you hear others say. You’re lucky enough to have parents who can afford to get you the single-roomed dorm. And even though your parents told you not to you can't help but say. “I stay alone so I don't get it that much.” You say it not trying to brag.
Jungkook widens his eyes and smiles deeply. “Wow that's so nice. Lucky you.” He fist-bumps your shoulder making you giggle. “So tell me how does it feel to have a room to yourself must be so fun, you can be as loud as you want.” His eyes don’t leave yours. And while on you they analyze every detail of you. Book bag, laptop and late out at the library you must be very smart, or pretending.
You rub your face embarrassed. Who does he think you are, cause you are definitely not that.
“It’s actually very boring. I don't even bring anyone over.”
Jungkook lets out a sound letting you know that's a shame. “What do you do instead.” He won’t lie it’s fun talking to you. It’s not like he’s friends with his roommates. So he gets it, if he could he would be the same as you.
“Just watch movies and stuff.” Jungkook watches how you fiddle with your nail beds. “Do you like movies.”
His eyes meet yours.
He nods. “Very much.”
You smile. What do you say now, oh gosh. It’s getting late you should go home. But you’re having fun and you’re with Jungkook, you should be fine no one can approach you. You’ve seen him at the gym.
“Want to come to mine.” It leaves your mouth before you can think. Now you can't take it back, just justify it so you don't seem weird. “Cause I mean I’d feel guilty to leave you out in the cold.”
“You sure?”
You laugh. “Yeah you can wait in my room.”
“That’s kind of you.” Jungkook nods and immediately stands taking out his hand for you. “Lead the way.” He says with a smile.
Your dorm is small but big enough to contain a tiny bathroom, a kitchen area, single bed and desk area. So it's just like a tiny apartment. It’s definitely something to envy you for.
Soft light spills throughout the room once you snap the light on. Both you and Jungkook kick off your shoes and jackets by the door.
And while Jungkook inspects the place you move to plug in the kettle.
You’ve had classmates and friends over, this shouldn’t be anything new.
Even though Jungkook isn’t quite that. But you still know each other at least.
Jungkook sits on the edge of the bed both hands leaning on the mattress and you get to view his tattoos.
“What was your name again?” He asks and you’re shocked he doesn’t remember your name. Not a problem you just chuckle it off and say.
“YN” you say feeling a little embarrassed.
He nods promising to remember it.
“You’re very trusting YN.”
You laugh and walk over to him with a cup of tea. He takes it and sips. “I don't know.” You take a seat next to him and sip your own.
“Inviting a stranger into your place.”
“I mean you’re not a stranger we know each other from class.”
“Right?” He nods, he does remember you from class but you seem to know him more. But nonetheless you are a cool girl.
The room is filled with the sound of the movie you’re playing. You both sip your tea till you’re done. Jungkook offers to take them to the sink and you let him with a tiny thank you.
Nothing, he just doesn’t remember you it's fine, you have a better memory than most anyways so you can't blame him. Plus he has a way more interesting life so you assume he’s busy with a lot of stuff.
Drying his hands with a cloth he comes back to where you’re sat smiling about something.
“What?” You ask, smiling too.
“You’re not scared I could do something to you?”
You narrow your eyes and shake your head.
“You seem—” you hesitate, trying to explain why you would let him into your place. “—nice.”
That earns you a low chuckle and you can swear your ceiling light just flickered.
“I don't get that often.” He walks slowly to you, not wanting to sit down but tower over you.
“Really?” You question and he nods. “Well, you give off safe energy. Not like some of the guys here.”
“Safe energy,” he repeats under his breath, amusement flickering in his eyes.
Then, quieter, “That’s dangerous, you know.”
“What is?”
“Calling someone safe when you don’t really know them.” He strokes your cheek and you let him, fingers leaving a ghost touch where they reach. And it burns in a good way.
Him being so close you can smell the faint scent of his cologne hidden behind cedar and tar.
You’re not a fool honestly. You’ve had a crush on Jungkook for sometime now, so inviting him over you too honestly hoped for more.
“You seem trustworthy to me.” You look up at him as he brushes your jaw.
Silence. The sound from the tv turns into hums. Somewhere outside, a door slams. But you dont pay mind to it.
summary: You decide to take a risk and sign up for a program where you marry a complete stranger. You’re surprisingly okay with the idea—excited, even—though the occasional nerves still creep in. This could either be the best or worst decision of your life. Still, the mystery of it all feels thrilling, and you've made peace with not knowing the man you’re about to marry. No matter who he is, you’re ready to go through with it.
But on your wedding day, as you walk down the aisle, something makes you squint. There’s something familiar about the man standing at the altar. And then it hits you… you know him. You've made promises to yourself before, so many of them broken. This won't be any different...shit.
pairing: Jungkook x fem reader.
story type: series.
Genre: exes to lovers, second chance au, right person wrong timing, lack of communication, forced proximity, slow burn, angst, fluff, smut.
rating: m. Mdni
wordcount: 8.2k+
warnings for chapter: troubled parental dynamics/figures. It's implied that they are both grown, Jungkook is older than reader(the age is subjective). cussing. found family. none really from here on.
A/n: though of this whilst watching MAFS. i've been in a burnout and this got me out of it?. please don't ask me if it's a happy ending story(i'm not saying it is or is not.) I just feel if you ask me that then you're not really interested in the story.
anyways I hope you enjoys it.
date: 25/04/25
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story under cut.
༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
You've always bought the same type of clothes, jewellery, produce as well. Why would you need anything else when you enjoy what you have.
And maybe that’s why you’re in the position you’re in now.
You should’ve been smarter and known that emptiness would follow you soon enough.
If you had taken the leap sooner--stepped out of the one-way route to love--you’d already be where you’re trying to force yourself now.
You would’ve realised that maybe what you’re looking isn’t in the men you find pleasure in.
You'd be getting married conventionally, and not having to sign up for some program.
Comfort comes cause the type of man you want is hard to find. He’s either already married or behind his desk overworking himself.
There is a little ego-death, just a little. Having to confront yourself on the type of man you want when you're at your limit is humbling. It should be something you know about yourself already.
You're not best at caring of yourself of late. When was the last time you had a self-care? You're still alive so it's fine.
Just like your type; you've been stuffing yourself behind your desk any chance you get.
But before your wedding you swear you’ll have a day to care for yourself. Physically at least.
You’ve been shaking your head for coming to this point, but your solace is in hope.
Putting your chance at love in someone else’s hands—someone trained, someone professional—might actually be the smartest move you’ve made in terms of relationships. That way, your own traits that have gotten you nowhere won’t come into play.
None of your past relationships have ever seen daylight because of how dumb you end up feeling for indulging in them, for believing they could be more.
They could never see the sun, let alone could they see the conversation of marriage.
You’ve tried to bring up the topic of marriage, and immediately they turn it down or change the subject. After that, you never bring it up again.
Honestly, after experiencing enough of that, you quit on the idea of commitment. Maybe you were stupid for wanting that.
What does marriage have that you can’t get from a simple relationship bound by an unstable verbal agreement.
You could definitely survive on that, right?
That’s what past you got by saying to herself.
You gave up on getting attached. It was just hook up and get out. None of them ever wanted anything serious, so you became that too. But it was never fulfilling, you thought that would be your answer. But it's not who you are.
You went on and it wasn’t long until you felt the emptiness of it all. And you had enough.
But still, somehow you still got stuck with the bro type. You'd like to blame lust but your therapist would like to blame your fear of being alone. You get her point but you don't think it fits your case well. You've never felt lonely or been afraid of it.
Anyways, you’ve dealt with that type for so long and you conclude if was just lust.
So, many of the guys following your frontal lobe development, have told you that you were too much. But all that meant to you was you knew what you wanted and they were not in the same frame. You have goals.
Now you want something serious and someone serious too. Someone who knows what they want and where they want to be in the future. Someone who’s going to have a plan immediately they see you. Because you do.
“I have to tell you guys something.” You clear your throat calling for your friend's attention.
Taehyung's head snaps to you. Jisoo on the other hand meets you with her eyes first.
You’d been hanging out normally, just chatting, laughing and catching up.
No moment was perfect enough to say what you wanted to, so you waited. But you’d been laughing and getting carried away with connected stories that the moment was not getting perfect enough.
For a moment you contemplated procrastinating the news. But if you procrastinated this any further you’d end up having no one at the venue.
So, being presented with the opportunity when a silence settled. It was now or never.
You want lie that it’s excitement, but there’s nothing exciting about the dryness in your throat.
You watch taehyung, seated on a stool elbows leaning against your island, and Jisoo standing next to you, walking from the fridge to the sink. Shit you have their attention.
That’s what you wanted. Speak.
You’ve been friends with Taehyung the longest because you were at the same high school, and you met Jisoo in university because you were in the same dorm and happened to be doing the same program. You all got along as a group and stayed that way. So, being there for each other through most life events, you have to tell them no matter how nervous you are.
And knowing them, what you’re about to say is far from what they expect.
Due to the serious and nervous undertone in your voice, they stare at you closely, inspecting your awkward tucking in of lips. Normally, Taehyung would be quick to say something witty about your behaviour, but he’s silent, only making you more nervous.
You release your lips and suck in a breath. “Okay... promise not to judge?” You warn, watching them both, but focusing more on Taehyung.
“What the fuck are you 'bout to say?” He narrows his eyes at you like he does when investigating you about a boyfriend. Does he think that’s what you’re about to say?
“You’re not going to judge?” You ask once more for good measure but it serves to irritate them. You chuckle like it’s amusing. Nothing is amusing, not after you tell them.
“At this point, we will.” Jisoo exclaims with a laugh, and Taehyung follows.
"Yeah, we might just."
Feeling the non-existent pressure on your neck, you pull your mouth open. “Fine.” You mumble to yourself for encouragement. There’s no going back; you’ve already told them there is something to be said. “I’m getting married.” It comes out quick and rushed, if they hadn’t known you like they do it could’ve been sworn you had just spoken gibberish.
They look confused. Do you repeat yourself?
You probably shouldn’t have started it that way. You could’ve started with explaining the program. Cause now they think you’ve lost your mind.
The two stare at your empty ring finger, then at each other, and then back to you, hoping you’ll clarify with a mocking laughter at their foolishness.
“What?” you say fumbling with the finger. They look at you like you’ve finally lost your last marble.
“To who?” They thunder in unison, confusion dripping from each syllable.
The reaction doesn’t shock you, and you don’t judge the question either. But little do they know you’ve been wondering the same thing as well.
“Well, I don’t know that part, but...” you feel a little ashamed to say it because they will think you’re definitely crazy now. You’ve never been the type to do something like this. They knew you wanted to get married, but not this much.
“Do we need to get you on medication?” you're not on any medication but the words still spill out of Jisoo’s mouth with concern and shock.
Your news has, Taehyung sitting up with folded arms, his eyebrows knit so hard they could touch.
“You barely have a boyfriend, what do you mean marriage, babes?” You turn your head away from Taehyung’s eyes. This is embarrassing.
It’s true for them it’s quite the jump, but if you could just explain yourself...
“You're hiding a boyfriend?”
A boyfriend? it’s comical.
After your nervous laughter dies down, you elaborate. “No. I signed up for this thing where you get married to a stranger.” You explain, your hands waving as you speak. It’s something you always do when you’re defending yourself.
As you process the words to use, you realise it does sound not like you. You’d definitely react like the same. “It’s called Married at First Sight.”
“Wow.” Is all that you get back. What the hell do you do with that?
“I got picked, which means I’m getting married.”
“To a random guy?”
You nod, lips folding again.
Telling your friends makes all this feel so real. You still can’t believe you signed up for this, let alone that you got picked. Something in you hoped you wouldn’t get picked because 1. what are the odds? And 2. maybe if you didn’t get picked, it would be a sign from the universe that you should just sit your ass down.
Your fingers fumble with the marble of your counter. As much as you’ve seen their reaction, you still don’t know what they think and it's making you feel more embarrassed. If they don’t support you or want you doing this, what the hell would you do? What if they think it’s stupid. “What do you think? You’re making me nervous.”
“I mean—how do you feel?”
“I’m okay." You scoff. “But I’m going into this so blind. And I kind of hate the feeling. But it’s nice to have the weight of finding a match out of my hands.” But having the control out of your hands is not like you, so that’s where the nerves are coming from as well. Cause what if they don’t give you what you want?
“Why’d you sign up, though? could’ve set you up with this guy I know.”
You appreciate your friends setting you up on blind dates; you really do. But they never go well, which is not on them but more on the guys. Surface level, they look like a match for you, but mentally and emotionally, they couldn’t be further from what you want. Maybe you need to look deeper than the superficial, which is honestly what this program is doing for you.
“Those don’t go well for me. You know that.” They do.
Did you mention that Jisoo is engaged? You’ve never seen her happier. She wasn’t even this happy when she graduated.
And you want that too. You’ve always thrown yourself into school and work to suffice for the love you weren’t able to feel. And growing up you always relied on academic validation. But it could only carry you so far after you hit every milestone and still felt nothing. The only thing that came close were the relationships. Situationships.
“You really want to do this?” jisoo coos.
“it’s not so bad to try"
“If they give you what you want.” Taehyung intersects.
You hope they do. “I wrote in detail, so they better.”
You have no clue what criteria they go by, but it couldn't be something contrary to your asks.
You get excited thinking of the perfect man for you standing at the end of the aisle. Like, gosh, you’re going to be so happy. Your stomach flutters already.
“They probably know what I need though.”
“Yeah. But you still want the basics, like—” Jisoo doesn’t even have a chance to finish when you cut in.
“Oh yeah... tall, smart, a man with a plan type of thing.” You feel so childish for being so excited about this. But it’s more about the excitement of having the perfect man for you. You try not to picture his physical appearance because you might end up disappointed if you linger on it for too long.
Taehyung and Jisoo smile, listening to how excited you are. If you’re happy, they are too; that’s all they care about. That what what think of and not that this is the most conventional way to go about it.
Returning to your cooking, you decide to dig more into their thoughts. “What do you guys think I need?”
Feeling experienced, Taehyung takes the lead to share. He’s heard and seen a fair share of your crushes and boyfriends and how it's ended, so he feels like he knows what you’d like. “Definitely a business-style, you know. Sleek back hair, tall, nerdy.”
“Is that what I give off?” You chuckle a brow raised. Embarrassed. You've definitely grown into that assumption.
You do. You’ve always been the academic type and Taehyung’s parents always trashed him for not being like you. Even though he wasn’t even a bad student. You always made him look bad. But that's all to say you’re smart and a work focused person, so you need a man who is the same.
You also like to be control. Whether that’s knowing all the tiny details of an event, or planning all the trips. As much as he benefits from it, Taehyung is definitely sure you use it as a coping mechanism for something.
“You need someone who can take control.” He adds.
"But still obsessed with her." Jisoo chirps in and Taehyung couldn't nod harder.
It would be nice to have someone to do things with. But an obsessed man? You're not sure. You want him to love you but shouldn't be too overbearing.
“I feel crazy for doing this.” You bite your lower lip, letting your worries out a little. “Like I’m seriously going to get married to a stranger.” You believe it less the more you say it.
“It’s not the conventional way, but you know we’ll be there for you no matter what.” You warm into Jisoo’s rub on your back. You’re trying to mask your true nerves with excitement; you doubt it’s fully working, but you’re trying. “As long as you’re happy And he makes you happy.”
“I’ll make sure of it.” Taehyung promises, sounding more like a threat to your groom.
You seem serious about it and it must be if you got picked. So the only power he has is to be there for you as a friend. Its honestly not such a bad thing, if he wanted to get married he'd think of doing it like this too. It more thrilling. And there’s nothing Taehyung loves more than thrill.
Having your friends feels comforting, and it’s all you need. Really. But with how serious this is, you’re going to have to call your family soon, and you’re not ready for that. The idea raise the bile in you.
Unlike your friends, you have no clue how they’ll feel. You haven’t spoken to them in a while but the last thing they’d be thinking to hear from you is marriage. The last you remember none of them thought you were marriage material.
It's out of courtesy that you’re even telling them. But no matter what they say, you’ve already been picked, and you are getting married.
“it's still crazy though.” this isn't how he imagined this going. But he should be the last person calling you crazy when it’s the only thing he knows. But you get it; it’s out of your character to do something like this. But who knows you could find what you’re looking for outside of your comfort zone. It’s not 100%, but you’re ready to take that risk. “Imagine you marry an ex...”
Taehyung is not helping soothe you. The thought has crossed your mind before.
“Don’t scare me,” you brush off the thought with a hand on your chest, and they both can’t help but laugh. It would be so funny if you walked down the aisle and it was one of your stupid exes. Gosh... you’d walk out immediately, no question. “Don't think they would be serious enough for marriage.” They’re all probably out there still being reckless and whatever.
“What if he doesn’t like something that you like?”
“Don’t know" you chuckle "But I’d be damned if he doesn’t want to listen to my playlists.”
“Ouu, he’d be a gone man if he didn’t like your mugs too.” You know Jisoo’s being sarcastic; for some reason, everyone dislikes your mugs. The designs specifically. But you like them, so he would be damned if he didn’t like them.
“I mean, we have 3 months until we decide whether we want to be together or not....”
“Would you want to get divorced?”
You don’t even want to think of that. Divorce is not something you think about or want to think about. You know how much you hate it and how it affects children. You don’t have kids with the man, but still, you just hate divorce. It feels too much like failure.
“I hope not, but if he’s completely unreasonable, then I’ll have no choice.” You wouldn’t want to fight for something that bears no fruit. But you pray that’s not going to be the case. It shouldn't be too bad.
“I just want to like him, and I hope he likes me too. I would want this to work out.” You stare blankly at your hands. “I don’t know if I’d be able to look for love again after this.”
You’re being to dramatic but that’s because this feels like all you have.
“In that case, let’s pray he’s the one.”
You all go quiet for a second. The pot on the stove starts to bubble.
“This is real,” you murmur.
And somehow, that thought is both terrifying—and thrilling.
--
“Namjoon, what do you think?” He’s the only one who’s been quiet about what just came out of jungkook’s mouth.
It’s not the idea of Jungkook getting married to a stranger that’s concerning (Though that’s its own thing.) It’s more about the idea of Jungkook getting married in general.
“I mean—do what makes you happy. It’s not the conventional way...” Namjoon begins, and Jungkook can’t help but roll his eyes at how serious his friend is being. He’s not surprised, though; Namjoon has always been the more serious and mature one between the two. Unlike Jungkook, Namjoon has always known what to do and when to do it. He is the kind of guy with structure, but Jungkook, on the other hand, is more of the go-with-the-flow kind of person.
He does things on a whim, reckless with who he goes out with. Relationships have always been fun for him; he never took them seriously. That was until he sat with himself and looked around. All of his friends were settling down and were not available to go out. One was having a child, the other was getting married, and standing at the altar as a groomsman so often, had him worried about what he was doing.
He watched his friends fall in love and be so happy; he wanted that too. Could he have it too? The bro lifestyle he was living was not going to give him that.
He hid behind hookups so much that he hadn’t realized he did want to settle down, find a nice woman, and live that picture-perfect life, he saw his parents have.
And it was time for that. So, by chance and through his coworker, he stumbled upon this program and signed up.
He wasn't going to get picked, so it wouldn’t be so bad if he did try.
He never had much hope in it; like, how would some experts know from a form who to pair him up with? It was a scam to him. His plan was to go out and meet ladies the usual way, but even they didn’t see him so seriously; he was just a hookup to them too. It did hurt him. But honestly, they weren’t wife material anyway.
Jungkook has always liked doing stuff that people would call crazy; it made him happy. So being told that a match was found and he was going to get married to a stranger didn’t make him nervous at all—if you exclude the seriousness of marriage though.
“Come on, hyung...”
“I wouldn’t put this past you, so I’m not surprised. I’m just worried if you’re ready for this. I don’t think you realize how serious it is.”
It’s not shocking that Namjoon stares at Jungkook with such distrust; he himself doesn’t trust himself fully. But he wants to. Because how can a wife trust him if he doesn’t?
Nothing will convince him or others that he is serious and growing, other than through actions. And that’s what he intends to do. Namjoon may not trust him now, but when he sees how serious he is, he will.
“I’ve grown, hyung, don’t you think?” Jungkook sips his beer, staring at his friend. Having this conversation at a bar may not have been the best, but it was the perfect moment to do so. Though jungkook has never cared about perfect timing.
Namjoon lets out a puff of air. He doesn’t want to seem like he’s not supportive. “You have, but this is a serious commitment, Kook.”
He doesn’t need to be told once more how serious this is; his brain can do that just fine.
“I know. But I’ve reached that point where I want to settle down. I’m ready to get serious.” It’s definitely something he never thought he would say. “I want to show that I can be serious, you know? I want to be like you, Seokjin.”
He pats the man on his shoulder, and he can’t help but feel honored to be an inspiration. Seokjin was one of the first to get married and is now expecting a child. Jungkook envies that—the ability to feel stable enough to bring in another life. He wants to be stable too. Have a little mini him to play around with.
Who the hell has he become.
“I think it’s good you want to settle down, Koo. I just hope you’re doing this for the right reasons and not just to prove yourself,” the oldest begins. Seokjin doesn’t think he’s some wise man, but he can confidently say he has the most knowledge on this among all of them. He does support his friend and thinks it’s great he’s doing this, but something in him fears he’s in it for the wrong reasons. “I mean, it won’t only be you. You’re merging your life with someone else—someone you don’t know to add. I wouldn’t want you to drag her feelings into a journey of trying to prove yourself.”
He doesn’t respond right away. Because the truth is, part of him doesn’t know truly why he’s doing this. And not knowing is something he hates nowadays.
This is where Jungkook’s second thoughts root even further. He fears that—fears dragging someone along into his flawed perception of self. But it’s not what this is about, and even though he doesn’t mention it, he does want to find someone to love and someone to give the love he hasn’t been able to give his past lovers.
“I get what you’re saying, hyung, and I promise that’s not the case. I do want to care for the person too.”
Seokjin nods, taking a sip of his drink. “That’s good. You are growing,” he mocks, and they all laugh.
“The not knowing what’s ahead is a little off putting, I’ll be honest.” Jungkook doesn’t stare at his friends but rather analyses every bubble of air in his drink that rises to the surface. They rise fast, then disappear. Like everything he used to think love was.
“Do you think you can do it?”
“I think I can... I want to.” He finally looks up to stare at nothing in particular.
“The first step is the commitment, so if you have that, then you’re good.” Jungkook nods; he should probably be taking notes on what Seokjin is saying. “Oh, Namjoon, you’re going to be the only single one.” They all laugh, but Namjoon only chuckles.
“It’s scary how you’re still single.” His friends see him as the perfection of what a woman wants: tall, smart, a man who knows what he wants. It’s all what women describe, but still, the tall silver-haired man has never taken dating seriously, nor does he hook up. It’s concerning.
“It’s because I want to,” he replies, taking a drink of his beer. And that’s all they’ll ever get from him.
“So what are you looking for, Koo?”
They shouldn’t even get him started on this. He’s never really known because he’s never really thought about it. But of late, the answers have been coming in like ants—tiny but a lot. “Um, just someone outgoing, you know... likes to have fun.” He won’t burden them with all he’s been thinking because some are just stupid stereotypes. “Someone who likes to go out and try new things, likes to have fun.”
“Jungkook? a party girl?.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes; maybe his previous preferences slip into his ideas of who he wants, which is not good. He wants something new, something he’s never had. Because what he’s had is not what he needs. So maybe this will be different.
“No... listen. I like going bowling and stuff like that, you know? So I hope she would want to do that with me.” He smiles, trying to defend himself. “When I get married, I’ll quit the club too.” The additional sentence causes a roar of laughter among his friends, drawing attention from other bar-goers. Seokjin does go out occasionally, but the difference (especially with his wife’s due date approaching) has been significant.
The laughter dies down.
“Look at him acting like he’s grown.”
“I am grown... I’m going to be a husband.” It’s surreal for him to say.
“She needs to be strong to handle you.”
“I’m not that bad..”
--
The most exciting thing about this whole thing is finding your dress. You’ve been looking at dresses for a long time so you would like to say you know what style you’re looking for, you’ve been thinking of this since you were in middle school so you should know. You’re grateful your taste has grown out of the poofy ballgown phase.
Cause of the context of the wedding you want something simple. Clean. Intentional.
And Jisoo knew of the perfect store to go to.
Most women find their dress months in advance, but you’ve got a week. A week. So this has to be it. Today should be the day.
Picking out the dress is the only part of this whole process that feels like you have control over, so you’re throwing yourself into it. And with that comes nitpicking. A lot of it.
You step out of the dressing room in your fourth gown and face the mirror. It’s a beautiful dress. You loved it on the rack. But now, wearing it, something’s... off.
“Why don’t i feel something?” you ask, running your hands down the dress draping your figure. You turn to your friends, looking for validation. “I’m supposed to feel it, right? Isn’t that a thing?” you aren’t sure if it was a myth, but you’ve heard that when you find the right one you’ll be able to feel it.
“You should.” Jisoo says gently, sitting up straighter at the sight of your face. She knows how sensitive this moment is for you. The time pressure, the stress, if you spiral now, it’s over. “What don’t you like about it?”
You stare at the mirror. Tilt your head. Bite your lip. Try to search for an answer.
“i don’t know i just dont feel like a bride in it.” You continue to feel over it trying to convince yourself but still nothing.
Maybe its cause you have no romantic connection with this man and hence you don’t feel like the conventional bride who can actually feel like she’s dress shopping with a purpose.
“Then we try another,” the stylist says with an encouraging smile.
You hope you don’t sound like a bridezilla because this is the fourth dress you’ve tried on and don’t like. Your stomach churns.
What if you don’t find one? What if you end up walking down the aisle in something you hate cause you weren’t able to find ‘the one’ in time. You can’t wear something that doesn’t feel like you. You’re not a person very particular about clothes but this is your wedding dress in question. It has to be perfect.
“Hey...” Jisoo comes to your side, her hand warm on your arm. You feel your shoulders drop just a little. “Don’t pressure yourself. We can come back tomorrow.”
You nod, but the thought makes your chest tighten. You don’t want to come back. You want to feel it now.
“Can I try a few more first? Just in case?”
“Of course,” she says, like she never had a doubt.
You head back into the dressing room. One more. Just one more.
Walking back into the dressing room and getting into another dress. You’re praying this will be the one or good enough at least.
“Fucking hell yn...” Taehyung whistles.
That’s new. He didn’t react like this for the others.
“You look so gorgeous babes.” Jisoo adds with a blushing smile as you walk onto the pedestal to finally see what they see.
The dress in terms of material feels great. It’s soft on your skin and it pours down your body like liquid. Without even looking at it you’d say you feel comfortable.
Once you take in your figure in the mirror, you can fel the tears sting the corner of your eyes. You definatlety feel it. You feel that feeling.
With the other dresses it felt like they were wearing you, but for this one, you’re definitely the one owning it.
“Gosh.. it’s almost too perfect to be marrying a stranger in.” You state still enamoured and not believing that the reflection is you.
“if this dude doesn’t cry or fall to his knees when he sees you i’ll beat his kneecaps in.” Taehyung expresses and when you look at him through the mirror you catch him tabbing a tissue at his eyes, jisoo too. Gosh now your tears are falling too.
“Come on guys.” You try to say through a sniffle. “you’re making me cry.”
Sniffling and patting at your eyes with a tissue you try to collect yourself.
“on a serious note. You look gorgeous.” Taehyung says, folding the tissue in to his palm. “you look beautiful. I should’ve married you instead. This guy doesn’t deserve you.”
You choke out a laugh, knowing he’s joking. You and Tae never looked at each other like that.
“If we were getting married, I’d wear sweats. Jeans if I’m feeling fancy.”
“Ouch,” he gasps, clutching his chest. Jisoo snorts. “Is that all I am to you.” He’s way more than that. He’s everything you'd ever want to dream of in a friend.
“i hope this dude realises how much he’s won with you.” Jisoo says softly.
“If he has two eyes, he will otherwise we’ll fight.” Of course it’s tae saying that.
“Why do you hate him you barely know him.” you say causing the man to pull back in defence.
“I’m just setting boundaries.”
He’s always been protective. You can’t blame him.
“But how do you feel?” Jisoo asks.
You take a breath. Let the silence hold for a second. You take in the weight of the dress, the way it fits, the way it makes you feel like maybe this whole thing won’t be so terrible after all.
“i love it.” It comes out soft but it says all that’s needed to be said. “i think it’s the one.”
Cheers erupts in the room the room, and your heart feels light for the first time in days.
You laugh through your tears. “I’m gonna be a Mrs. Something.”
“I just hope he’s got a good last name, at least.” Taehyung grins.
You hope so too.
But that’s one of the many things you’re choosing not to think about. Not yet.
--
Jungkook has never woken up early for anything. And the last thing he ever thought he’d be waking up early for was his wedding.
“You ready for today?” Seokjin says bascally aready dressed while Jungkook walks around in his sweats.
“As ready as i can ever be.” His eyes don’t leave the suit hanging on the wall. Gosh how would he have found one if he didn’t have his friends.
“You sure? You’re too calm.”
“Not everyone’s gonna be in panic.” Namjoon chimes in.
Seokjin’s wedding morning was definitely chaotic cause of how the man panicked.
Though at the time he never thought of it seriously, Jungkook worried that it was custom to panic like that and he’d panic too. But even still he feels too relaxed, last night’s drinks might have something to do with it. When Seokjin and namjoon had gone to sleep, and jungkook couldn’t, he's only solace was the liquor cabinet. He hopes it’s not obvious. Cause he can fool his friends but his mother might be able to catch it, no matter how hard he’s brushed his teeth.
“it’s good to atleast show some of your nerves.” Seokjin moves to the counter to pour some drinks. Jungkook gags at the smell of spirit. “You can’t be perfectly relaxed.”
Can’t he? It is possibe for him to not be worried about anything. He doesn’t have to be having doubts and fears for this to be real. He doesn’t.
“I’m fine.” He groans, rubbing his face and reaching for the suit hanging on the door of his room. He's fine...so fine.
Seokjin doesn’t dig in deeper. And one thing the older does know is that no matter what, Jungkook must be feeling something and his silence about it might be proving what Seokjin thought. Thinks.
“Did you send the gift?” he turns to namjoon worried about one thing.
“Yeah.”
Jungkook wanted to make a good impression so he hopes the gift does some apologising if you’re able to notice he's fucked up face.
“Can you help me with my tie?” He knows how to do it. Has been doing it for school for so long. But for once he just wants to feel like she’s involved in something he's doing. Something positive.
The drooping look on her face is discouraging enough, but he tries.
“You’ve been doing it for so long. Do you really need my help?” She says not even looking at him, and yet again he feels the embarrassment.
Clearing his throat, he turns to do it himself but his dad replaces his hands. “I told you guys, you didn’t have to travel for this.” He says lifting his chin up a little for his dad.
He was fine with them not coming, and seeing that they lived so far away it would’ve been an inconvenience. And it’s not like its a wedding his mother would want to attend anyways; so he didn’t want to waste their time.
He was perfectly fine with them not coming.
“it’s your wedding why wouldn’t we come?” His father says patting down the tie and arranging his collar. It's almost as if it’s his first day at school and his graduation again. He hopes he can do this for his son one day too.
In a whisper away from anyone else his father speaks. "I want you to enjoy today. And whoever she is I want you to give her your all. Love her more than you love yourself, more than you’ve ever loved anything.”
His eyes are sincere as the words are spoken. His father isn’t emotional so even that soft fall of his brows is a lot. And it’s all Jungkook can ask for. “She's gonna love you too, I know it. You’re a good kid.” He pats his shoulder.
He can cry...no. So he sniffles the waters away.
His father has always been a good husband. And that’s who he wants to be as well, no matter who he marries, no matter how difficult she could be.
His parents have been the ideal couple in his life for a long time. And that doesn’t change no matter what.
Everything is silent for a moment as jungkook sinks into what’s about to happen today. It’s only until a voice breaks his serenity.
“Namjoon!” his mother calls out playfully with a glass in her hands, she doesn’t even drink.
Namioon flinches and turns to her smiling awkwardly. He's never known how to act around her. “When are you getting married? Sure there are so many woman dying to be hitched up to a perfect guy like you.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes and tells namjoon he doesn’t have to answer.
But his mother won’t let that be.
“Not anytime soon Mrs jeon.”
The laugh she releases is sharp and demeaning. But it’s not directed to namjoon. “You see? People who wait to find a girl the right way.”
When Jungkook’s gaze meets hers, he has to remind himself she's the woman that birthed him.
“You didn’t have to come you know that?”
“Come on. You want me here, I’m your mother.”
Contrary to popular belief...
“You’re such a handsome boy, why do you want to get married. You’re wasting your time.” She starts.
She should be praising him for seeing the value in getting married and maturing to the idea. But no...
Jungkook puffs out a breath. The room has been silent since his mother began speaking. And he drowns in it. There's a lot he could say.
Instead, he throws the jacket on and teases at it a little in the mirror. Some are unnecessary touches but he does them anyways. Feeling ready enough he steps away but before he walks out further he looks at the woman sat on the couch.
“If you can..,try your best not to speak to her, okay?”
--
“Did they call?” Taehyung’s voice is almost none existent in your field of thoughts.
It’s only when he repeats that you catch what he said. "no.” You say no energy in your voice. “but it’s fine...their loss.”
You toss your phone on the couch a little too harshly, just wanting to forget it. Forget everything.
You won’t and can’t beg for people who don’t want to be in your life. Informing them was just a courtesy, you didn’t want him here anyways.
Though it would’ve been great if they could just put their pride aside for you for once.
Taehyung wraps his arms around you. “Their loss. Just know you’ve got us.” He nudges at your temple with his nose.
“Yeah, you’ve got people who care and that’s all that matters.” Jisoo hugs you too and now you’re sandwiched between them. It reminds you that no matter what, you still have people around you who do care and want to support you. So if those people who you thought would want to see succeed didn’t want to be here then it’s not on you. You have your friends.
“let’s finish getting ready guys.” They brush them away playfully and immediately your hairstylist is quick to working on you.
“So bossy.” You roll your eyes at the remark. “Gonna give this guy a run for his money.”
It doesn’t matter. You cheer to yourself.
Nothing else matters today, you’re getting married and you don’t need to cloud your thoughts with negativity. You wouldn’t want your husband to see you all gloomy. That’s not gonna to be your first impression.
You smile.
All you want to do right now is walk down that aisle. Nothing else matters.
“Did i mention a little something came in for you in the mail” jisoo’s voice comes in excited but you aren’t able to turn cause you’re on your final steps of getting your makeup done.
“huh?” when she stands in front of your eyes fall in the object in her grasp. “What’s that?” you eaxclaim with a smile taking the box onto your lap.
“Open it.” She exclaims, more excited than you.
The tiffany and co logo on the box is evident when you unwrap it. You can’t help but smile from ear to ear. You haven’t met him yet and he’s making you smile this hard? Once it’s open you’re met with a silver locket and bracelet. You’ve gotten gifts before but you have no clue why you’re blushing so hard for this one.
“oh my gosh these are so cute.”
“tiffany and co too...” Jisoo adds, immediately rushing for you to put it on cause it would look good with your dress.
Taehyung watches from across the room, already dressed. “Anybody can buy that.”
“hater...” you and Jisoo choir.
--
Seokjin made it clear for him to behave when he sees your family. He has no clue what he thought he would do, because as much as he’s outgoing, In front of the in-law's he’s a dove.
He’s trying to be calm and act like he’s ready and been ready, but he can’t deny the cold sweats that threaten to run and mess his suit. This is the most trust he’s put into anything. All he’s praying is that it works out.
He’s a fucking groom.
Jisoo sits watching him closely, he is handsome and somebody you would find handsome too. But something she knows you’ll be worried about is probably his personality. He looks like the opposite of what you want and all you’ve been running away from. But who knows with you nowadays. He could be a good guy though.
“Hello.” Jungkook waves to your side. From all he can see, there’s a woman probably same age as him, could be a sister? Friend? Next he sees is an older lady probably the same age as his mother. That could be your mother. The rest of the crowd is filled with 2 people.
Not many people, but t doesn't matter. He wouldn't invite anybody too, if he didn’t have to. Maybe you're too embarrassed to be marrying already.
He's eyes can't stay on one spot. He tries but it's painful.
When he turns to his side, Seokjin and namjoon smile at him, it helps ease whatever he’s feeling but immediately his heart tightens up watching the person sat next to his father whisper into his ear..
What the hell is she saying? Is he standing up straight? Is he smiling enough or too hard.
--
This is the craziest thing you've ever done. The bravest too.
And—God, you hope—it’s the last wild thing you’ll have to do for a while.
Breathing is something your body usually handles without question, but now it needs supervision. You have to consciously pull air into your lungs, or you won’t make it down this aisle walking.
You have no idea what’s waiting at the end of it.
What if you’re not attracted to him?
Worse—what if he’s not attracted to you?
What if you’re not what he’s been hoping for?
“This still feels like a dream,” you mumble, looping your arm around Taehyung’s. He smells like cologne and nerves. What the fuck is he nervous for.
“You ready?” he asks gently.
No, but you nod. “Yeah.”
The gentle music of a live plays as people stand and you walk, still not in view yet cause if the infrastructure. Its a small venue but sill manages to make you feel like you’re drowning.
As you walk and get closer you try your hardest not to look at the one thing you’re most curious about.
So your eyes choose to scan the venue instead—the warm fairy lights, the soft music, the flowers. You knew the production team would go all-out, but you didn’t expect them to go all out for you. It’s perfect.
You’ve never felt this special in your life. Twelve-year-old you couldn’t have imagined this moment. Even though this isn’t the love story you thought you’d get, the feeling is still here, blooming in your chest.
Who says he can’t become the love of your life?
Jungkook's eyes are wide when they land on your.
From your soft smile to styled hair amd the the dress that falls down your body carefully, he watches every detail. He can’t look anywhere else. He swears his heart was just in his chest a moment ago.
Jungkook watches the person walking you down the aisle, he’s a younger guy. That’s interesting. A sibling?
From all that he’s imagined he could get, you were not on the card. But he'll take it.
You’re more than he bargained for.
You walk slowly, soaking it all in. Nearing the arch, you finally allow yourself to look at the man chosen for you.
And—shit.
He’s… handsome.
You eyes squint.
He smiles as you approach, so at least he doesn’t seem horrified. That’s something.
Taehyung shares a nod with the man, nothing warm or cold behind. You hug him before he walks to his seat, clinging for just a second too long. Then, it's just you and him—your groom. You can’t meet his eyes for more than a second. And it’s embarrassing.
You’ve been on debate teams, presented in University projects and in meetings at work. Basically you’ve had eyes on you before and it was manageable...but these? They burn.
“Hi,” you say, voice small.
You glance toward his side. A good amount of family. One person stands out—tall, silver hair. Probably a groomsman.
Your groom is attractive, sure, but not your type. Tattoos?, the way he stands—he looks like someone you tried to avoid.
You hate how superficial that sounds. But the thought won’t leave.
At least he’s taller than you.
“Hi,” he replies, equally nervous. Then leans in. “You look beautiful.”
“Thank you. You look nice too.” You eye him down, eyes narrowed.
If this were a blind date, you’d already be knee-deep in awkward small talk. But this? This is… bigger. It requires bigger questions.
“Let me take that for you.” Jisoo’s whisper interrupts. She takes your bouquet and you almost refuse, needing something to keep your fingers occupied.
“I see you got the jewellery.” His voice is as light as the pale blue sky. It’s odd to compare it to a colour but that how it feels. His voice reminds you of the blue sky you’ve stood under so many times wondering if your soulmate died. There’s still a possibility of that.
You glance down. You’d worn it and forgotten. It had become that comfortable. That familiar. But now with the recognition, you can feel the cold silver touch every part of you. You can feel it sway and graze you every turn you make. Even the smallest action causes movement.
“Oh yeah. Thank you.”
“You’ll have to thank my groomsman too. He helped me pick it.”
He looks over at Namjoon, who immediately looks like he wants to disappear.
Maybe he shouldn’t have said that. It might sound like he couldn’t handle it alone. But truthfully, Namjoon just knows more about…well, this kind of thing.
“Thank you, groomsman,” you direct a more warm smile to the man.
Namjoon mumbles something, but you don’t catch it.
Turning back, you stare a beat longer when your eyes catch he's features. You bite the inside of your cheek. His face—it’s not common. Not forgettable.
And yet…
The officiant steps forward. Time for the official part.
“Yn, meet for the very first time, Jungkook Jeon. Jungkook, meet for the very first time, Yn Y/l/n.”
His name hits you like a church bell.
“Jungkook?” you repeat sounding a little shocked, like you didn’t hear it right the first time.
He chuckles nervously. “That’s me.” Do you not like his name?
Your stomach drops.
You know him. The name. The face. It clicks.
Your nose works over time pulling in air. You can't open your mouth, cause you might just puke.
Shit—does he know you? He doesn’t seem like he does.
Is this real?
The man you remember wouldn’t be standing here right now. Does she have some polar opposite twin or something?
You rub your arms and wish you could blame the AC for the chill. But that's all on him.
Glancing at your friends. They have no clue what’s happening inside your head right now. They don't know how fast the room spins.
Where do you put your hands, what do you hold onto?
None of them know about him. He’s the only one you've never told them about. And they sit there waiting for you--with smiles and excitement--to marry him.
You made them come here. They smile for you. They support you.
You asked them to be here for you. You wanted to do this.
What a waste of time. You should’ve known.
To add-on, as you look at your friends for a second time you stop at a face you were not expecting and hadn't noticed. How did you miss that? A face that had told you she didn’t want to be here, well not her specifically but mainly on behalf of your father. But what the hell is your mother doing here? She said she couldn’t come.
What the fuck is going on. Collect yourself, you don’t want to look like you’re about to faint. Even though the overwhelming review of information could just kill you right here.
But it’s okay. You still have time to walk away. Walk away from everyone.
You thought this was going to go well.
You hoped it would.
But now?
This is not what you wanted.
-
-
༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
A/n: 😏😏 what did you think? I hope you liked it. Please don't ask me if it's a happy ending story(i'm not saying it is or is not.) I just feel if you ask me that then you're not really interested in the story progression. I will try my best to post frequently (I've been working on 2 as well) so just hood your horses.
synopsis: Struggling artist Jungkook, who wants to be the biggest pop star, faces a dilemma when you come into the picture pregnant with his child: ruin his life or ruin his life. Which does he pick?
idol Jungkook x pr assistant reader.
warning (1): pregnancy, mentions of miscarriage or pregnancy loss, degrading, mentions of sex. this story wrote itself so please don't be mad at me.😭 there is a lot of lawyer talk too, so if you don't like that I'm sorry. i don't think im accurately representing biology so dont take anything serious and do you own research
warning (2): this story does not reflect what I think of Jungkook or his music, I don't own Jungkook, his concept, music or anyone else and are merely using their names.
songs: maria by Justin Bieber, billie jean by Michael Jackson, the whole golden album by Jung kook but mainly, hate you, somebody, too sad to dance, shot glass of tears.
A/n (1): listening to hate you, somebody, too sad to dance, shot glass of tears, hits different for me, after writing this story.😭
A/n (2): I was a little out of it and tired when writing this, your girl has to been feeling well, but I hope you like it and don't find it boring.
wc: 4.4k words
[read under cut]
༻❁༺𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒆, 𝒂𝒎 𝑰 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏?༻❁༺
"What the hell are you even saying right now?” Your face scrunches in confusion and disgust. “What are you trying to insinuate?”
“Forget it.” Taehyung says, ready to start the car.
“No, I can't just forget it.” You laugh bitterly. “You’re either saying you want me to have a kid with Jungkook or you’re telling me something else, and with the way you've been acting of late I'm leaning closer to the second option.”
“The way I’ve been acting?” He stops and turns off the engine again. And when you nod, he scoffs. “It’s the way you’ve been acting. I’m just trying to protect my family.”
You roll your eyes. “Protect us from who, Tae? Jungkook’s no monster that he’s gonna rip Eunji’s head off.”
You trust Jungkook would never do that, but again, you trusted him before and—
Hands still on the wheel, not moving, Taehyung finally lets out, “It's you I'm worried about. I'm worried he’s gonna get in your head, you’ll fall for it, and... and, God knows what will happen.”
His confession shuts you up for a second. Is that what he’s all moody for around Jungkook? Why? You don't get it. Does he not trust you? Does he think you—
“I'm a grownup, Tae.” Is all you say, not wanting to defend the fact that someone could get in your head.
“Yeah, you are, so you can make a fucking decision and communicate it.”
You can't help but sense something else under his tone, so you ask, “What decision?” Cause what decisions are there to make?
You watch him silently with narrowed eyes, and you hate the strain you see on his face, like words are hard to produce. Or like he doesn't want to say it at all, or even face the possibility of the answer.
“What decision do I have to make?” You press again, already knowing where this is going.
He sucks in a breath and straightens his back. “Whether you want me or Jungkook.” You roll your eyes so far you might see the back of your head. What? What makes he think you’d want that? What? What the actual hell.
God, and now you’re crying.
“Fuck this, Tae.” Tears roll down your eyes. “I'm literally working myself every day so we can have a kid, and next thing you’re telling me you don't trust me.”
“I never said that.” He shakes his head, hating hearing you sniffle back tears.
“It's what you're telling me. Why the fuck would I want to get back with—”
“I literally saw you texting him, then you lied and said it was Sohee. Why the hell would you do that?” He snaps. “Why can't you just tell me?”
“Cause I know you’re gonna get mad if I bring Jungkook up.” You cuss under your breath, trying to catch a breath. You can only hope people in the car park can't hear you.
“I get mad when you keep shit from me.”
“I don't know what to fucking say to you right now.”
“Maybe say you’re not ready to be with me.” You turn your head, shocked but more upset. “We were fine before Jungkook came in, and you two have unresolved feelings, so...”
Okay that's it.
“Fuck off. I'm done talking to you.” You click your teeth and open the door to walk out.
“We have to go pick up Eunji.” He reminds you, but you ignore him, and all he can do is watch you walk off angry.
With no direction or sense of where you’re going, you just keep walking, anger leading your way.
Taehyung said his truth, and it may not have been discussed appropriately, but it's a topic that will hang over both your heads until you decide what you want.
Taehyung loves you and Eunji—only heaven knows how much he does. And in that love, he wants peace for you, and he knows damn well that having Jungkook that close to you will bring anything but peace.
-
“Where’s YN?” Jungkook asks when he only sees Taehyung at his door, no time for hellos. The man looks tired and over it; there doesn’t seem any room for anything other than picking up Eunji.
“She’s fine. Where’s Eunji?”
Jungkook doesn’t buy it. “Where’s YN?” he asks again, more worried, analysing the man’s deranged look even more.
This only serves to piss Taehyung off more. He doesn’t need to be here more than he should have; he hates being here. It smells of scams and lies.
“I said she's fine. Now give me Eunji.” He says more through clenched teeth, which makes neither man calm down.
“I just wanna make sure she's safe and that you haven’t dumped her body somewhe—” Jungkook’s interrupted by Taehyung’s hands on his collar.
“Fuck you. The only person capable of doing that is you, so don't you even dare insinuate I’d ever do something like that to her.” He growls, making Jungkook feel every ounce of anger and frustration he's feeling right now.
“Dada?”
Taehyung tucks his head; his heart shutters. Did she see this? Did she hear him? Fuck. And God, seeing that smirk on Jungkook’s face, he can't help but wonder if the fucker planned this.
He drops his hands and tries to calm down.
“Eunji, hi baby girl. Come on, let's go home.” Taehyung coos to her, but the little girl looks a little frightened, and he hates himself for it. Fuck.
“Eunji, come on, let's go.”
“Or you could just stay here and sleep in your room till Mommy comes.” jungkook suggests to her.
Taehyung side-eyes Jungkook, who’s got a wicked smirk on his face.
Not wanting to get angrier, he gives the little girl a choice. “Eunji, do you want to stay or come with me?” Taehyung asks.
And they both wait for an answer, which takes its time and requires a little more push to get.
“Stay.” She says simply, and Taehyung’s heart falls. But he's not about to go against her wish; plus, you say you trust him, so.
“Okay, fine. But Daddy will be here to pick you up tomorrow morning.”
The little girl nods and begins to fuss after she learns that Taehyung can't stay as well. But Jungkook's quick to picking her up, to Taehyung’s annoyance.
He doesn’t say much, feeling more defeated than ever tonight. It feels like his world’s falling apart, and he's just lost both his girls all to fucking Jungkook, who thinks he can just come in and take what he wants cause he’s made it.
He might just be using all this bullshit for PR and using Eunji too, just to make him look like the hero and like he truly cares. It's never really about what it seems with these people, and you don't seem to get that, even though you’ve worked with them. They will use and abuse everyone around them until they're bone-dry for their own sake.
God knows what he’s got up his sleeve.
-
Jungkook: Are you okay?
Jungkook: Are you safe?
You: I’m okay.
He doesn’t believe it; he can sense the sadness just through text.
Jungkook: I don't buy it.
Jungkook: Where are you? I can come pick you up.
You laugh when you see the text, already sensing him picking up his keys.
You: I'm actually on my way to yours. Can I stay the night?
You: Sorry to rush it on you.
Jungkook shakes his head like you can see it.
Jungkook: You don't ever have to ask. Come over whenever you want.
Hearing him say that just makes you feel sadder. About what exactly you're not sure.
Jungkook: It's good actually. I have Eunji, and we can have a little movie night.
It's exciting to him, but he doesn’t see the confusion on your face.
You: What? You still have her?
You: Did Tae not come over?
You know he would never, but seeing how mad he was, you're not shocked if he decided to just fuck it too. But no, he—
Jungkook: He did actually, but Eunji didn’t want to go with him.
Oh
Jungkook: She wants to with her real dad. Lmao😂
Jungkook: Should’ve seen his face; he was so mad.
You: That’s not funny, Jungkook.
He pauses, sensing your seriousness.
Jungkook: My bad.
You ignore him for now.
You: No movie night. She should be asleep.
Jungkook: Don’t be boring.
You: Don't be irresponsible.
Jungkook: Ouch.
-
“Eunji’s sleeping in her room for the first time, and you can take the other guest room or... mine.”
You roll your eyes and show him your ring before he gives you a shrug that says, “That doesn’t mean anything.”
“I think I can just sleep with Eunji so that she's not alone.” You say, eyeing the huge bed—a queen-sized bed for a 3-year-old. Really?
“Fine by me,” he says, and right before you can shut the door, he stops it. And his eyes and voice turn soft. “Is everything okay?”
“Jungkook,” you warn him not to ask further. But he doesn’t take it.
“You can tell me anything, you know, and I can help you.” He starts, causing you to look at him concerned. “If he’s not treating you well or hurting you.”
He tries to go on, but you cut him off. “He wouldn’t do that.”
“You never know with people, YN.”
You roll your eyes at the insinuation. It kind of angers you as well.
“Yeah, and I'm sure you would know that.” It comes out a little too aggressive.
Jungkook sighs. “I didn’t mean it like that,”
“Good night, Kook.” Is all you say before you slam the door and are left alone, with Eunji’s breathing to calm you.
What the hell is all this?
Not wanting to think much cause you know you’ll end up crying, you take a quick shower and change into some clothes you asked Jungkook for.
This is the first time you and Taehyung have argued so much. And it's the first time you’ve been apart, so you’re not sure whether you’re supposed to text him or not. And even then, what do you say? Do you just skip over it, or do you have to give him an answer—an answer which is not difficult, but for some reason has your mind churning and overworking itself.
But luckily, he’s done the hard part for you. But dear goodness, is it a floodgate.
Hubby💍: Are you okay?
Hubby💍: I'm assuming you're not coming home, so just let me know if you’re okay.
Hubby💍: Eunji didn’t want to come home with me. Now you too?
Hubby💍: Sohee told me you’re not with her, Jimin too. Where are you?
Hubby💍: YN, please answer me.
Hubby💍: Are you with Eunji?
You're only able to answer the last one though your eyes fill with tears; you can barely see the keyboard. What the hell are you doing? You miss him, and you want him to be here and hold you both as you sleep, but fuck. You're so upsetting he would think that and you kinda wanna punish him with absence, but you did that with jungkook and look where you are.
You: Yeah, I'm with her.
You know your reply is a little too late, but better late than never, right? But in some cases, it's better just to let things go.
If it's too late, it's too late.
In the morning, you decided to wake up a little earlier than usual, not wanting to seem a little too comfortable in his house. Eunji's still asleep, so you let her be. It's crazy how much she's been sleeping of late.
“What do you like for breakfast?” Jungkook asks, taking you by surprise.
He's an early bird or rarely sleeps, so it's not a shock that he's up right now.
“Anything.” You say, and he chuckles.
“I have so many options; just pick one.”
You enter his kitchen and eye everything you can, and damn, he’s right—it's like a whole grocery store in here, mainly filled with cereals, snacks, and then he opens his fridge to show you a whole new world.
“I could use a freaking martini right now.” You say jokingly, but he takes it very seriously. “I'm joking.” You say when you see him head to the liquor cabinet.
“I can't drink right now.”
Jungkook just laughs. “Maybe just pancakes then, something Eunji can have too.”
There’s a silence as you watch Jungkook prep the stuff. You offered to help, but he declined, saying you were a guest, and so you’re forced to sit on the counter and watch him.
“What did the doctor say?”
You cringe at the memory. And suddenly, you're getting flashbacks of yesterday. You should text Taehyung to see if he's alright.
“They just said something about my immune system mistaking sperm for bacteria, making it hard to get pregnant.”
Jungkook hums but not getting it still, so he asks, “Mine too?”
God, this is awkward. Should you be talking about this? He doesn’t even need to know. Fuck. You shake your head, but the movement is too light for him to register it as an answer.
“No. They said I was more compatible with you, or someone with the same make-up as you.”
Now that catches him and causes him to pause over the stove and look at you. You can't really tell what that look in his eyes means, but it doesn’t seem like anything you want to reciprocate.
“Look, Kook, it was just for curiosities' sake; it doesn’t—” You’re cut off by him standing in front of you, too close, too invasive. You should move, but he's blocking your way.
And in a whisper, like he's about to tell you a secret, he says, “If you need my help with anything, I'm always here.”
You almost want to laugh—not this again.
“It’s not like that. We don't need your help.” You push past him, getting off the counter and going to flip the pancake he left unattended. You hate just sitting around.
“Honestly, I don't want to talk about it.” You just got into a fight with Taehyung over this; you don't want to get into it again with anyone else, lest they accuse you of the same thing.
“I'm here for you. I hope you know that, though.”
You just hum.
-
“I was thinking we could spend the day together, you know.” Jungkook starts, watching you try to get Eunji to eat instead of eating.
“Huh?”
He feels himself stammer a bit, embarrassed to say. “Like spend the day together, you know, like a family.”
He looks to genuinely excited by the idea, but... “Family?...”
“I know, I know. I just mean we can spend it normal, you know. Have fun and nothing on our minds.” He rumbles on. “Huh, Eunji, don't you want to go to the park, and then we can go to the playground.”
You roll your eyes at how he's getting her excited, which will make it harder for you to say no. “You say that like it's easy.” You say, taking a piece of your own food.
“What?”
“You're a fucking superstar with people on your tail every second. Do you really think we can have a normal day and nothing will come out of it?”
He cusses internally. He literally forgets that sometimes. Fuck, he really hates this life sometimes. It's one thing that the media and fans are already talking about how he's been inactive and suspecting he's spending time with his daughter, and how they're calling him names and stuff, it would only cause a fire if he stepped out in public with you especially.
But he still wants to have a fun day with you guys, so maybe something else. He has a backyard.
“I can install a playground in the backyard, and by tomorrow it could be done.”
You scoff, laughing. “A whole playground, like swings and shit in 24 hours.” You laugh. You know he has the space for it, but can he really build a whole playground?
“Yeah, I can. Money, darling. Money can do a lot.”
You brush it off. You hate how he just throws money around nowadays. Just goes to show how different you both are now in terms of life.
“It's not necessary. We won't be staying long anyways.”
Jungkook nods, but he's not willing to let it go so easily. “But you'll stay for lunch, right? I wanna cook you guys something.”
You do end up staying for lunch, and you won't lie—Jungkook’s a great cook. You never got to experience much of him back in the day, but now you kinda get why you were so drawn to him.
At the flash with calls and money, by lunch he has people around getting to work on the playground. It's kinda ridiculous when you think about it—how someone can have anything at the snap of their finger.
“Anything for my baby girl,” he says, picking up Eunji and throwing her into the air, her giggles filling the air.
You catch yourself smiling and immediately drop it, but not before Jungkook sees it. You clear your throat.
“Eunji and I should probably get going.” You say, lifting your elbows from the counter. “We need a change of clothes.”
“So you’re gonna come back?” Why the hell are both of them staring at you? Those doe eyes begging you, and knowing you can’t say no. It’ll be good for Jungkook if he spent one more day with her, right? Good for her too; let her get used to him, and then you can finally tell her.
Overwhelmed, you turn away from their gaze. “Can you guys stop looking at me?”
Jungkook giggles as he tickles Eunji to giggle as well. “Enni, are we making Mommy flustered?” They both giggle, and you can't help but tear up.
You appreciate Taehyung and the father he’s been; things couldn’t have been this easy without him. But you really do enjoy seeing Eunji with Jungkook—it's all you’ve ever wanted really. But still, something about it doesn’t fill your heart yet. Maybe it's cause you're denying it, or you’re just worried if you let him in, he’ll just vanish again.
You really hate how this is warming up to you already. Him and Eunji, his home. Fuck.
“Eunji, let's go.” You say, hoping he won't notice you aggressively wiping your eyes.
But unfortunately for you, Jungkook’s attentive.
“YN, you’re crying. What's wrong?” He asks, walking closer with Eunji on his hip. He reaches a hand out, but you move back slightly—not enough to keep him from bringing you into a hug. One that forces your face into his neck, and Eunji right in your vision.
Fuck. Why are you crying some more? Is your body shaking right now?
Jungkook holds you tighter, managing to make you feel fully engulfed, though his other arm has your daughter. You sob into his shirt, and he just holds, not sure what’s wrong, but not needing a reason.
Eunji watches you both confused, her own eyes tearing up naturally from seeing you cry. “Mama?” She whimpers, and now Jungkook has to coo and rock both of you—though Eunji isn't that hard to deal with.
He’s about to ask you what's wrong before you mumble into his shirt. “Why did you leave me, Kook?”
His heart shatters at hearing that. It's honestly the first time you’ve really broken down and shown him another side that isn’t anger about the situation.
“I really needed you.” You weep, trying to calm yourself to no avail.
His arm moves from your lower back to the nape of your neck and finally the back of your head.
He kisses into your hair, and in it he smells everything you both should’ve had and been. You should’ve been with him; you and Eunji should've been living here; he should've been marrying you; he should've been trying for a baby with you—fuck. But it's too fucking late. And honestly, would he have had all this to shower you with if he had chosen you back then? Maybe, who knows—not him for sure. Or maybe he should've just communicated more and told you about the song and promised it was nothing. He'll never forgive himself for that.
“I'm here now, YN. I'm here, I swear. I'm not going anywhere, okay?” He ends with looking at Eunji, who has no clue in the world what’s going on. “Fuck, YN, I regret everything I did. I should've been there.” All those things Taehyung got to experience—those were his. “But I'm here now, and I'll always be, okay? I swear. For you, for Eunji. I'll give you everything you need from me.”
His words help you calm. And when you finally look up at him, his eyes glossy too, you shake your head. “Eunji and I should get going.”
“Let me drive you.” He says, adjusting Eunji who’s now resting on his shoulder.
You shake your head, but he's not taking a no for an answer—he's not gonna let you get an Uber like he can't afford taking you around the world and more.
But you seem adamant, so he settles.
“Then let my driver take you.”
That seems like an easy compromise for you, so you agree.
-
Walking into your home, the air feels different, like it's been months since you’ve been here. But it's only been 1 night.
Maybe it's just the awkwardness of seeing Taehyung. Are you still upset with him? Do you want to talk to him? You're not sure. But either way, you're gonna have to see him, knowing he's probably back from work, and you saw his car outside. Maybe you'll decide on what to say when you do see him.
Putting Eunji in her room cause she fell asleep, you decided to go in your own and take a quick shower and a change of clothes. Your chest tenses up when your eyes immediately meet his. He's sat on the edge of the bed, only the pants you assume he went to work in and nothing at the top. He looks beaten, mentally at least. Like he's been thinking all night and only thinks more when he sees you.
He ignores that you're wearing Jungkook's clothes—it's the least he has to worry about. Still bugs him though that you even spent the night there.
You guess you'd made your decision: you aren’t gonna talk. So you both just exist together as you get dressed, but it's when you're done getting dressed and threaten to walk out the bedroom door that he speaks.
“I’m sorry.” He says almost as a whisper. And it's only when you turn that you find him right behind—what time did he stand? Or reach you? You look up at how his hair falls dead in front of his face.
If your hands weren’t so stiff right now, you’d run your fingers through it and tell him he needs to see the barber, but gosh, there's something about him just like this that gets you—rugged and torn and beaten and giving up.
“I fucked up last night. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Said what?” Is all you say, merciless, and your stomach flips at how he looks up at you as if asking for you to cut him some slack.
Taking down a big gulp of saliva, he says, “For doubting you, for telling you to be with Jungkook, for getting angry—for everything. I'm sorry, baby.”
You hate being in this position of judge and executioner, cause you do get him. It must hurt hearing that your best chances of having a baby is with your ex. Honestly, you don't like hearing it either. Doesn’t excuse him still.
“I’m really fucking sorry. Not having you and Eunji with me last night really messed me up. I thought I lost you both.”
He waits for you to say something, and honestly, you have nothing to say, so you say the first thing you discovered when you got home. It's something you want him to know.
“I got my period.” You say as you swallow hard. “Or another miscarriage—I can't tell at this point.” You laugh bitterly.
He hugs you immediately. Your arms wrap around him too and are warmed by his skin.
You both don't say anything for some seconds, knowing how this moment hurts and what it means.
“Its okay.” He muffles into your hair. “It's okay to get your period.” He says, knowing that nobody likes their period, but for you specifically, it's just a wicked reminder. You hug tighter, and gosh, are you crying again.
It must be your period—that's why you're all teary. You should've known.
“Look at me.” He pulls away to look at your face as he takes your cheeks between his palms. “It's okay. We don't need a baby right now, or ever. I just want you to be okay.”
His face is blurry, but you nod along anyway, just before saying, “But I wanna have a baby with you, Tae.”
“I know, I know. I want that too. But I care about your overall health more.”
He kisses your cheek, then your jaw, then your cheek again, temple, and finally forehead, where he stays longer. Eventually, you’re pulling his lips to yours.
“I love you, okay? I was insecure and an asshole, and I don't wanna be that. I just wanna be the best for you and Eunji.”
“You are.” Your arms rub his chest. “You haven’t lost us, Tae. She's just now getting closer to Jungkook, rightfully so.”
“I know.” Taehyung bites his inner lip. “No more fighting?”
“With Jungkook too.”
“If he's being an asshole, then—”
“Tae—”
“Fine, no fighting with Jungkook too.”
-
It's 2 days later, on a Sunday, and you’re at Jungkook’s place staring at his new backyard, and you’re shocked to see the playground done. It's nothing crazy—just swings, a slide, jungle bars. Everything even adults could play on.
You can't even begin to fathom.
“What do you think?” He asks you, grinning from ear to ear—it should scare you.
“Its... wow.” You say, eyes still on the thing and how fast he's built it.
“Great reaction.” He says, laughing, and you eye the hand he puts on your waist.
“Now it's time for the party.” He turns to head back into the house.
“Party?” You look at him confused. “What party?”
You guess that’s what the decorations were for. You thought it was just him being over the top.
What the hell is he even celebrating—oh, rich people just have parties cause they feel like it.
“But wait, who's gonna be there?”
༻❁༺𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒆, 𝒂𝒎 𝑰 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏?༻❁༺
So what do you think? I hope you liked it. let's chat about it 💬💬🥂
A/n: I hope this lived up to you guy's time, cause I did enjoy writing this. now i have to continue this until all the ideas i have are done, what have you guys done, it was supposed to be a oneshot. if you guys have any popstar story requests let me know.
im enjoying writing it though
If you didn't like it please don’t tell me, or don't be negative about it, this is the first time i've ever posted and worked on a fic since my burnout and i don't wanna go back there lol. So remember to be kind💞💕💓
ciao, see ya when i see ya
I hope you guys don't let this flop, cause I spent a lot much time and blood working on this. Anyways I appreciate you guys. Thanks.
Every positive like, reblog and comment is appreciated.
