Word Count: 3.2K
TW: mental health topics, OCD, PTSD, trauma, panic attacks
Summary: After Laura Hale seemingly vanishes, Derek Hale returns to Beacon Hills to investigate his sister’s disappearance and what called her back home, leaving his younger sister, (Y/N) Hale, in New York waiting for further instruction. But when a month has passed, and she hasn’t heard anything new, (Y/N) packs up what little they have in the Big Apple and heads to sunny California in search of her siblings. Going back to the place where she lost everything is harder than she could ever imagine, yet there are people she will meet that will make the heartache all worth it. Will (Y/N) be able to open herself to love after meeting the elusive Erica Reyes? Or will the pain of her past put her in more danger than she can handle?
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The sun warming her skin woke (Y/N) in the morning. She'd remained in the same position as she had fallen asleep. Her knees and her back ached. No amount of stretching lessened the discomfort—not when it wasn't her body that truly hurt.
Flashes of the night before bombarded her mind, making the anguish grow. Laura was gone, she remembered. Killed at the hands of the uncle who had walked through fire to save her. Peter was gone as well, slaughtered by Derek as retaliation for what he'd done to their sister. Her family had almost completely disappeared for the second time in a single night.
Rustling caught her attention, but it didn't scare her. Her brother's scent reached her before she could see him, and his steady heartbeat set her at ease. "You didn't have to disappear, (Y/N)," he said. "I was worried about you."
"Well, forgive a girl who runs away when she sees her brother slash their uncle's throat and learning right after that the same uncle who saved her life had taken her sister's," she answered. Against her desires, tears started forming in the corners of her eyes, and she turned away from Derek as though that would stop him from knowing she was crying. "Why didn't you tell me what was wrong?"
"(Y/N)..."
"I asked every day for over a month, Derek. I was worried and terrified, and you wouldn't tell me the truth," the girl cried. "Not once did you think to tell me that Laura was gone? That she had been killed by Peter."
"Of course I did, kid," he sighed, tentatively taking a seat next to her. "I wanted to tell you as soon as I found out the truth. I wanted to tell you that you had been right all along."
"Then why didn't you?! What possible reason could you have for keeping such a big thing from me?"
"I thought I was protecting you, (Y/N)," he admitted. "Laura was dead, and I didn't know why or how. The last thing I wanted was to bring you here and put you in danger. I thought I was doing the right thing, okay? I don't know how to handle all this, kid. I'm not good at it."
"You could have started by answering the damn phone," (Y/N) scoffed playfully, her heart finally easing. "What was I gonna do if I lost you, too, Derek? What was I supposed to do when I was across the country, and I found out you guys were gone?"
"I didn't... I guess that didn't cross my mind," he said, pulling her close to him in a hug. "I should have done things differently, (Y/N). I'm sorry. Things got complicated here and I thought keeping you in New York was the best thing for you. I wanted you to just be a kid after everything."
"I haven't really been a kid since I left Beacon Hills," she sighed, melting into her brother's embrace. He was the only comfort she had left in the world, and being angry at him would only break them apart. "Things have changed, D. I'm not the same girl from the fire."
"I know," he said. "I wish I could have protected you better from all of this. I should have been a better big brother."
"You've done good enough with the tools you had, D," the girl smiled. "It really wasn't yours or Laura's job to raise me. I was just the load that you guys were left with after the fire."
"Hey, don't say that," Derek scolded. "You have never been a burden, (Y/N). You're the only thing I have left and the only one that matters."
She didn't push. Arguing with her brother would get her nowhere, and she was tired of fighting. Instead, she settled into him, exhaustion taking a hold of her body as her entire world caved in.
"Have you eaten?" Derek mumbled after a beat of silence. Though he'd worded it as a question, he already knew the answer. The last time she ate had to have been hours before she got on a plane. "I can take you out to get some breakfast."
"Given that you found me asleep in the middle of the forest, I think it's safe to assume that I have not eaten anything."
"You know, I could just leave you here," he huffed. "You were the one who ran away last night."
"As my newly appointed legal guardian," she said, "I think you'd you would go to jail if you did that."
"Yeah, not doing that again."
"Excuse me?"
"Long story."
After getting her rental car back and a much-needed breakfast, Derek took (Y/N) to his loft apartment, a stark contrast to the home they had grown up in. The place was empty save for a couple of chairs and a couch, making the place colder than it already seemed. A concrete box was the only way the girl could describe it, and it was seriously lacking in the homely aspect. If she didn't know any better, she would have thought her brother had just moved in.
"I know there's not a lot here," Derek said, almost like he could read her mind. "I haven't really put much thought into making it a home—with the Argents and everything being so close, I don't really stay here."
"Have you been staying at the house? There's barely any walls up."
"An abandoned train station, actually," he shrugged. "We're going there tomorrow. I'm sure with Kate's death, the town will be crawling with hunters, and I can't let them find you here."
(Y/N) didn't fight him on it. She knew the ruthlessness of the hunters; she had lived it firsthand—her hand was living proof of what they could do. If her brother thought they would be safer in a train station, then that's where she would go.
The tour took less than five minutes. With more empty rooms than anything, (Y/N) found her way to the bathroom in no time. Derek fetched her a towel and the only hygiene products he had on hand—a bar of soap and 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner.
"He's such a dude," (Y/N) muttered under her breath as she turned the shower on. While she waited for the water to heat up, she checked that the door was unlocked. One time, then two, then three, until she felt like she could breathe; like there was a way to escape if she needed it.
With a grimace, the girl stepped into the steaming shower, forcing herself to step into the hot stream. A minute had been her record—the most she could handle before the fog made her lungs tighten, and she had to fight to be able to breathe again. Every day, she forced herself to try just a little more time, but there had been moments when she couldn't even turn the handle all the way. Just the feeling of the hot water brought her back to the roaring flames. It made winter unbearable, but the cold water wasn't that bad if it kept her sane.
That afternoon, she turned the dial back as soon as she stepped inside. The heat made her think of Peter, and thinking of her flashed the image of him bleeding out on the ground. She couldn't handle it, not even for a second. The start of a panic attack made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on point. Her hands flew to the tile in front of her, needing anything that could keep her stable. Her breathing came out in wheezes, strangled and thin, and her heart hammered against her chest so strongly she thought it would burst. The smell of blood clung to her nostrils, mixing with the scent of singed flesh.
Conflict weighed on her mind once more as she thought of the man who had given her a second chance at life. The very man who had taken her sister from her for power. Realization dawned on her once more, weighing her shoulders down and putting unmistakable pressure on her chest. Peter was dead, and so was Laura, and she never got a chance to say goodbye to either of them. Tears fell faster than she could stop them, and the little breath she could muster was squeezed by her sobs. Her limbs had started to go numb, leaving only a tingle that hurried its way to the rest of her body. She was paralyzed, her head held hostage by her emotions, and no way out.
"(Y/N)!" Derek exclaimed as he knocked loudly on the door, his voice frantic and dripping with fear. "Are you okay, (Y/N)?!"
His presence snapped her out of her state, allowing her to take in a big gulp of air. "I-I'm fine," she managed to croak out. "I'm fine."
"You don't sound fine, (Y/N)," he muttered. "You're having a panic attack. I need to open the door, kid."
"Seriously, it's passing now," the girl replied, rubbing circles on her chest with her fist as her pulse started to settle. "I'm seriously fine, Derek."
"O-okay. Just call if you need help."
She could tell he didn't believe her, but he wasn't about to barge into the bathroom while she was in there. Not without her permission. "Will do."
Once (Y/N) was able to breathe again, she finished as fast as she could in the shower, ignoring the sting of the freezing water against her skin. There was no comfort in the drops that fell on her body, but she did not mind. She didn't deserve relief, at least she thought she didn't. Too many people had gotten hurt around her, and somehow, she was the only one who was still standing.
After washing away all signs of dirt and blood from her skin, she slipped on a pair of sweats and tied her wet hair into a loose ponytail. Exhaustion clung to her bones like a second skin, but being back home meant there were far too many things she needed to discuss with her brother.
"Feeling better?"
"Yeah," she smiled weakly as she joined Derek on the couch. "Just feeling a bit tired."
"Well, before I take you where you'll be sleeping," he said, "we need to talk about your new life in Beacon Hills."
"What do you mean?"
"School, for a start," Derek mentioned. "We need to get you enrolled, deal with the house in New York—tie up loose ends."
"Oh, I start school on Monday, actually," (Y/N) shrugged. "I've been taking cat-up test for about two weeks now. The house is being rented by a lovely couple and their cat—ironic, I know. And all our things should be arriving this week or the next. Anything else I missed?"
"Other than telling me you were coming, I think we're good."
"Well, you didn't exactly tell me what happened here, so I think we're even."
"Touché," he chuckled. "I guess all that's left is asking if you're ready for your new school?"
"As ready as I can be," she sighed, pulling her knees to her chest. "I mean, it's high school. How bad can it really be?"
Starting school wasn't the scariest thing (Y/N) had gone through. She had lived through fire. She could handle the gawking stares and the obvious whispered chatter. It was expected. There was one thing she was sure of. Wherever she went, endless gossip would follow. She was a Hale. It was in their nature.
The high school wasn't unfamiliar. She had walked their halls once or twice. She knew of the secrets their walls held. Beacon Hills High School was not another monster she had to face. The students, on the other hand, were a completely different ball game. Given how small the town was, (Y/N) was sure she would be amongst the same people she had shared her elementary and middle school classrooms with. People didn't really leave Beacon Hills. Most were born and died there, and even the ones that left, sooner or later, ended back there.
It wasn't enough that she was the new kid in the town, but the fact that Derek had returned her rental and forced her to ride with him to school had everyone's eyes on her from the moment the black Mustang stopped in the parking lot. The murmurs started the moment she opened her door. People gathered in small groups as they talked about the girl getting out of Derek Hale's car. She could feel heat pooling on her cheeks, growing from her neck and inundating her ears as her eyes rolled involuntarily.
"Hey, (Y/N), come here," Derek called as she started walking away. He couldn't help as the girl groaned and dropped her shoulders—she seemed like a normal teenager. "It'll just take a second."
"Ugh," she complained. "What do you want now?"
"I was just gonna wish you good luck today," he mused. "Remember what I told you about the kids that were at the house Friday night. You don't have to avoid them, but just..."
"Be careful, I know," (Y/N) said. "I wasn't really planning on making friends. What's the point?"
"(Y/N)..."
"It's fine, Derek," the girl sighed as she pushed herself off the car. "I'm used to this life. Don't worry about me."
"Well, uh, have a good day, I guess," he muttered as she began to walk away.
Eyes followed her everywhere she went, committing to memory her steps as though she were an enemy walking amongst them. She kept her head down, only speaking when needed—an 'excuse me' here, a 'sorry' there. It was exhausting, and she still hadn't made it to her first period yet. The principal's office was empty save for a helpful secretary and a stack of papers that had her schedule and the documents necessary to integrate into the already running school year.
By the time she reached her locker, the bell rang, and (Y/N) had to sprint toward her first class. The voices of students filtered through the door, loud and boisterous. After a minor detour in directions, she had made it just in time for the second bell to ring. With a steadying breath, she placed her hand on the doorknob and braced herself for the usual barrage that came with being the new kid.
Thankfully, the teacher didn't care much for introductions. She signed her papers and sent (Y/N) toward the only seat available. Right behind one of the boys she had seen at the house on Friday night. His eyes followed her every move, joined by the gaze of his friend who sat right next to him. They were obvious in their staring, unable to refrain from their curiosity about the girl who had stumbled into the killing of her very own uncle.
"You're Derek Hale's sister, right?" the kid with the buzzcut asked, ignoring the morning announcements that blared through the loudspeaker. "The one who was in the fire."
"Stiles," the one who smelled like a werewolf reprimanded under his breath. "Sorry, he doesn't have much of a filter. I'm Scott. You're Derek's sister, no?"
"(Y/N). And you can't tell?" she asked him, her tone dripping in the silent mockery the Hales loved so much. "Your senses should be keen enough that you smell it on me."
"Charm runs in the family, I see," Stiles chuckled. "So, this means you're here for good, then? Another Hale back in Beacon Hills?"
"It is my home, after all. Not that I need a reason to live here."
"Right. Of course, no, we're just..."
"Trying to gauge if you can trust me in the way you couldn't trust my brother," she said. "I get it. He's not easy to get along with. Lucky for you, I'm only as bitchy as he is, but I did learn to be just a bit more social."
"Cool," Stiles smiled. "So, you won't threaten to rip out throats with your teeth or kill us every two seconds?"
"Unfortunately, I can't make those promises," the girl grinned. "I'm still a Hale, at the end of the day."
"No, yeah. Cool. Of course, makes sense," the boy chuckled dryly. "I guess, uh, stay on your good side then?"
"That would be advisable."
Scott and Stiles didn't say much after, choosing to err on the side of caution with her. She seemed harmless enough at the moment, but Hale blood still ran through her veins, and her brother was still Derek. They knew they couldn't judge her on the sins of her family, but it didn't mean they would instantly treat her as an ally. She was a new acquaintance, a friendship on trial, a to-be-determined case. When the time came, they would have to learn whether she was a carbon copy of her brother or if she made decisions of her own volition.
The moment the bell rang, students scattered through the halls toward their next class. They filtered out of rooms, squeezing past each other to make it where they were meant to go. It was noisy and cluttered; the air filled with chattering and laughter, and far too little space. Her heart raced as the loudness blasted in her ears, and her limbs stiffened as she thought about even setting foot into the crowd.
But school didn't care about her anxiety or her aversion to deafening places. She had to get to class sooner rather than later. The boys had warned her Mr. Harris wasn't exactly the understanding type. (Y/N) sprinted through the crowd as it thinned, making her way down to the Chemistry lab. One way or another, she had to make it before the second bell—not that it would be any problem given her nature.
Slightly out of breath and worried someone may have noticed her supernatural speed, she reached her next classroom. "Uh, excuse me, hi," she said as she handed the teacher the corresponding folder for the class. "My name is (Y/N) Hale. I'm starting today."
"Hale," he muttered as he looked over the papers in his hand. "Any relation to a Derek Hale?"
"Yeah, he's my brother." The man stiffened, and she could hear the way his heart accelerated. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead, and she saw red crawling up his neck. "What? Was he a bad student way back when?"
"Uh, no," Harris cleared his throat. "Just curious. Uh, it seems everything's in order here."
"Yup. Should be."
"Right, um, well, let's get you settled, right?" He signed what he needed to and looked over the class seating chart. "It seems the only seat available is next to Ms. Reyes. Erica, raise your hand, please."
(Y/N) took back the folder and stuffed it into her bag before her eyes found the raised hand at the back of the room. The girl's face was covered by other students, and all she had to go on was the arm in the air. People either smiled or stared as she walked by, unsure what to make of the new kid in town. But she didn't pay them much mind. Not when her eyes finally met a pair of brown ones that had her heart racing.
"Hi, I'm (Y/N)," she said, extending her hand toward the blonde girl. "I guess I'm gonna be your partner this year."
"I'm Erica," the girl smiled weakly as she shook (Y/N)'s hand. "It's nice to meet you."
A/N: this fic is dedicated to @sapphicwriternearby🤍
in all me fashion, it took forever to update. I lost the story, and had to start over 🤭 but hope you enjoy it
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