#keetsposting

[keets-mcgee]

[keets-mcgee]

Hoo hoo!

fuck my life entirely i just got fucking gnomed

[keets-mcgee]

it’s generally safe for humans to do gnome drugs, like snorting morning dew and huffing petrichor. elves, however, will give you shit like ”galethiar’s umbral dust of truthseeking”, then call you a ”bad hang” when your soul collapses from birthing a new plane of existence and you have to go home early

[keets-mcgee]

i personally won’t be going to neither heaven or hell. when i die, a sliver of my consciousness will linger to my decomposing body, resulting in unfathomable existential agony, but once i start getting eaten by fungi, i will FINALLY gain access to the fungal network and learn what kind of secrets those freaks are hiding. but by that point i’ll have sworn my fealty to my mushroom brethren, so i shan’t ❌ be sharing my discoveries with any of you

[keets-mcgee]

pretty sure i’d ruin the philosophy scene in ancient greece because every time i’m presented with a moral dilemma, the angel and the devil that get summoned on my shoulders start making out sloppy nasty style. and since ancient greeks were all lowkey freaks it’d turn into a whole thing and no one would get any philosophizing done. one of the myriad reasons why time travel stresses me out

[keets-mcgee]

what if his name was jeff the hugger and he was always hugging people. just a peek into my sweet and loving mind

[keets-mcgee]

is anyone else getting tumblr ads from the forgotten swamp witch

[keets-mcgee]

they should add a new weather to the roster that spawns little treasures around. nothing crazy in monetary value, just fun little treats and trinkets. like ”omgg it’s blibbing outside…. we should go treasure picking once it stops…..” can we get nasa on this asap