#kell yaps

[icefrozenground]

do you think when ilya is chirping hunter about how old he is he asks if he remembers a random historical event like the crusades and scott just says “go fuck yourself, rozanov” but marley mutters under his breath “yes i was there with you, my captain, my leige. there was death and fire and destruction” and ilya’s just like “what? hell yeah marley we ARE on fire & we’re gonna DESTROY the admirals!!!”

[icefrozenground]

thinking about shane's "I want to help, if I can" on the phone to ilya after his father dies and ilya being like ok take off your clothes if you want to help me and (as soon as he realized ilya wasn’t joking) shane just pulling his shirt off

thinking about ilya's offer to go with shane to have the coming out conversation with his parents (because he wants to help, if he can, too) and shane's "would you?" and ilya's no-hesitation "of course”

they just want to help each other, if they can. can i help? how can i help? please, let me help you

[icefrozenground]

do we think when ilya says "sorry about them can i have one more please?" in ep 4 at the club he's apologizing for marleau saying some weird shit to the bartender about his scary mirror bc marley recognizes the bartender from a previous life??

[icefrozenground]

thinking about how different orca pods have different dialects of communication that are distinct enough that scientists can identify different pods by the noises they make and how shorca and ilyorca would learn each other's dialects so they could play together

[icefrozenground]

i’m emotionally the person just trying to carry their groceries home at the beginning of ep5 when scott hunter is running like a madman while man in the crease is waiting for him to crash and burn

[icefrozenground]

brave voice the most unfortunate thing heated rivalry has taught me is that hockey uniforms are the least sexy of all sports uniforms and even shane and ilya can’t make them look that much better

[icefrozenground]

me: trying to send an email for work

my brain: hudson williams and connor storrie holding court in an unexpected rooftop gathering that stretched on until the wee hours…hudcon…holding court…in an unexpected rooftop gathering…that stretched on until the wee hours…

[icefrozenground]

can we talk a little bit about my good friend ilya rozanov and having your slightly-more-than-situationship comfort you about your dead dad?

you don't think this relationship could ever possibly go somewhere even if you care about him, and you know realistically he knows the same even if he also cares about you, so the caring doesn't really matter, so why unload all of this emotional baggage on him? he offered to help if he could but you still feel like a burden for bringing him into this part of your life, and you feel guilty for not only accepting his help but aching for it

and what would your father think about how weak you are that you need this boy, this boy who means something to you but can't be allowed to mean everything to you, to help you get through this moment? how disappointed would your father be that you're sullying his memory in this way, with this need?

and maybe need is too much. you know you could've forced yourself to get through it somehow without him, even if it put you at your lowest, because in the past that's what you've always done. after you hear his voice, safe and comfortable and warm, and you imagine all of the ways you would've coped with this moment without him, actually they all feel less self destructive than this, because you love him

and you don't know what to do about it