#keltena

[downtroddendeity]

keltena replied to your post: I keep giving myself a headache reading on my...

Please, Tez, share with us your spider evidence.

The count filled one glass, but in the other he only poured a few drops of the ruby-colored liquid. The bottle was covered with spiders' webs, and all the other signs which indicate the age of wine more truly than do wrinkles on a man's face. 

At this point in the narrative, the Count has only just come to Paris a few days before. His steward purchased a house for him on the fanciest street in town and set about redecorating the place to match his tastes. The Count is not shy about the fact that he thinks he’s smarter and cooler than everyone, but even if he wasn’t That Guy his whole plan necessitates a carefully-managed artificial persona that hinges on conspicuous displays of wealth; to get as much access to his targets as he needs, he has to become a fixture of Paris society overnight, and that requires him to attract a lot of attention without losing his mystique. Everything he does has to paint him as a man of eccentric, obtrusive, but unimpeachable style, so that people will keep wanting to be around him to see what he does next: he has to constantly be breaking out expensive and amazing things no one has seen before.

Which brings us to the dilemma: old wine is a status symbol. There is absolutely no reason not to clean cobwebs off a bottle of wine on its way up from the wine cellar except to show off that it’s been sitting in place long enough for there to be cobwebs. Hell, there’s no other reason not to clean your damn wine cellar to prevent there from being cobwebs in the first place. The cobwebs are themselves posturing.

But the Count moved in like a week ago. Can you seriously see this dude trusting the previous owner of his house’s taste in wine? This micromanaging perfectionist jackass would have sent his staff scouring all of France for the nicest and most expensive booze they could locate, because that’s crucial to the image he needs to project.

But if he just bought it, the bottles wouldn’t have cobwebs on it no matter how old they were, and as discussed, this is clearly also unacceptable.

And thus, the only logical conclusion: the Count of Monte Cristo bought all the best wine in Paris, and then, because the effect would not be complete without it being covered in cobwebs, bought a bunch of spiders.

[amethystblack]

Kind of a weird question, but are the Reborn characters' surnames all meaningful like their first names are? I thought it might be fun to try and figure them all out, since some of them definitely do seem to be related to the characters, but I wasn't sure if I'd be overanalyzing to assume all of them are, haha.

i’m not sure i would call puns meaningful... but to be honest i really don’t remember any of my thought processes when i selected those names. i don’t even remember doing it. but apparently i did. so that’s interesting.

i am sure i put thought into each of them, but i doubt that they are half as on the nose as the type pun names are. so maybe it’s a mixed bag. take it as you will.

[snarwin]

I wish you could just, like, unequip shoulders to sleep.

@keltena

[downtroddendeity]

keltena replied to your post “I was all set to finally sit down and read The Count of Monte Cristo,...”

So, given that you're stuck inside for a while with no copy of the book to keep you occupied except this cruel reminder of your enemies' betrayal... Any ideas for how you'll pass the time?

If the last week or so is representative, stress-cooking, stress-cleaning, being irritated at the weather, and stress not-working on my various WIPS.

Nowhere near as good for starring in an adventure novel as becoming an expert at everything and learning the location of secret treasure.

[downtroddendeity]

📚

I should have saved the folder full of monster AU fic for this emoji.

But speaking of AU fanfic, someday I will get that Ghost Trick AU of RH working. Someday.

...Or maybe I’ll just find a screencap of “Haha! I died again!” and paste Rosch’s portrait over Lynne’s, who knows.

[downtroddendeity]

Top 5 RH AUs!

“Royalty are spooky demons” is deeply self-indulgent and I love it dearly and I really need to write something substantial for it

RH/Stay Night, because Fate/ is a really fun sandbox to play in

Star Wars AU, because it lets me make my favorite horrifying dysfunctional relationship even more horrifying and dysfunctional

Daemon AU because look, man, I just really like daemon AUs

AU where everyone is in a DnD group and poor stressed-out first-time DM Stocke is trying so hard to get them to go ONE DAMN SESSION without him having to desperately retcon everything to prevent a TPK

[downtroddendeity]

"I met this great stranger online and we totally hit it off! I'm sure they won't turn out to be, unbeknownst to both of us, my rival/sworn enemy whom I hate and totally don't have mountains of romantic tension with."

“They say they’re Nigerian royalty and if I wire them some cash via Western Union, they’ll be able to come to the US to see me! I can’t wait to meet them in real life!”

[downtroddendeity]

'“Everything is the same except Teo and Lippti wear tacky Christmas sweaters all the time and no one ever comments on it” would be an amazing AU and you know it.' But Tez, what about the AU where EVERYONE wears tacky Christmas sweaters??

What a mysterious and totally unprompted ask.

Anyway, the result of Sonja’s Tacky Holiday Sweater Party:

Stocke: Wears one only under protest, and only one that is red. Low-key acts like a martyr about it. Still wears the scarf.

Marco: Has an honest-to-god authentic knitted-by-a-grandmother-who’s-not-great-at-knitting ugly sweater. Persons who are not here under protest are very impressed.

Raynie: Was more hype before she realized that 1) children and those of a sensitive disposition are invited, and 2) tinsel on cleavage is, like, insanely itchy. Some adjustment of Big Plans was needed, and Marco was spared having to see Raynie in a sweater with a boob window.

Sonja: Has gone all out. There are LEDs. Is making it work, somehow. Thinks Stocke’s sulking is hilarious.

Rosch: Gives off the vague impression that he would rather be wearing a normal sweater, but would never admit it out loud because Sonja clearly had a great deal of fun hunting for one with a cat pattern on it and then putting lion manes and reindeer antlers on every single one.

Eruca: Was very confused by the invite, because why you would deliberately wear a sweater you think is ugly???

Kiel: He didn’t get an invitation originally and Rosch brought him over at the last minute and Sonja magnanimously lent him an ugly sweater to fit the dress code and he is vibrating with anxiety.

Aht: Is wearing four layers of sweaters themed after a variety of winter holidays. Vanoss expresses ignorance of how she acquired them when he drops her off, especially the Diwali one.

Elm: Accompanied Aht in, glaring daggers at everyone. Is wearing a sweater patterned in hammers, axes, and the blood of her enemies. Someone foolishly asks her what this has to do with the holidays, and she responds, frost practically forming in the air, that Hannukah celebrates a military victory. Spends the evening lurking in a corner that is definitely not the same corner Stocke is sulking in, it’s just an adjacent one.

Gafka: Secretly made Aht the Diwali sweater, just to improve her collection.

Raul: Forgot to put “tacky sweater” in the description when he put the party date in his calendar app and showed up in formal clothes and it’s super-awkward.