kenma’s smashing birthday
the nekoma team thinks you should really watch what you say. [a short kozume kenma x reader]
“Hey Kenma, wanna smash on your birthday?”
A horrid silence settles amongst the boys as they stop in their tracks and swerve their heads to you.
Taketora trips on his laces.
“Listen here,” Kuroo begins dryly. “Because you’re my friend, and I know how your brain works, I understand what you mean.”
“And what exactly could it mean?” Yaku squawks with a reddening face.
“Smash?” you clarify. “It’s a—”
“I know what smashing is!”
Kuroo throws back his head and laughs.
“Shut up! Ugh, I never thought I’d have to say that sentence out loud…”
“Sorry, what’d you say out loud?”
“I’m not falling for that. And you!” Yaku redirects his glare in your direction. “We’re in public! Think before you speak, will you? You’re attracting attention!”
Kai smiles politely. “Yaku-san. I don’t mean any disrespect, but it’s your volume that’s causing people to look at us…”
“…we need to move, now.”
“Wait, I need to tie my shoe.”
“Tora, for the love of god, you have ten seconds.”
“I’m hungry.”
“Lev, you bastard, we just had yakisoba. You had three plates. Gah, you monstrous beanstalks and your appetites.”
“I’m sorry you’re not a part of the beanstalk club,” Kuroo offers somberly. “You see, we only accept qualified members, which you’re clearly not.”
“Wouldn’t wanna be qualified when there’s an old rooster on board. With no taste in protein, I might add.”
Kuroo smiles, but his eyes don’t. “Lev, what do you feel like eating? Your options are either boring meat, or healthy, tasty, good-for-your-brain fish?”
The two impatiently wait for their favored answer.
“…since when did Nekoma have a beanstalk club?” Lev ponders.
“…Fish it is.”
Yaku sighs irritatedly. “Tora, you done?”
“Uh, not yet.”
“What—it’s been five minutes! How are you still tying your shoe?”
“S-sorry! It’s just that g-g-guh-GUHHHH-HUHHH-girl over there keeps staring at me and it’s making me nervous!”
“Are you struggling because she’s staring or is she staring because you’re struggling.”
“Both…” Yamamoto wails pitifully.
“Taketora-senpai, I’ll cover you from her eyesight!” And Lev stands very close to Yamamoto’s head to tower over his kneeling figure.
“Get away from my/his face, you idiot!” Yamamoto and Yaku shriek in mortification, prompting more people to look over.
“We’re not doing anything inappropriate,” Kai informs a staring passerby. “We’re okay,” he adds as Yaku attempts to pull Lev away, only to stumble and knock Lev onto Taketora. “Really, we’re fine,” Kai concludes as all three boys collapse like bowling pins.
Kuroo sighs haggardly, and looks over to you. “Now look at what you’ve done.”
You lay a steely gaze on the rooster enabler. “Like you weren’t a part of it.”
“Hey, I wasn’t the one who started it.”
“I just asked a question! Oh yeah, hey Kenma—”
“You’re all idiots,” Kenma finally says, emerging from the corner he vanished to earlier. “If everyone wants to treat me on my birthday, the least you all can do is behave and not act like animals.”
“I’m behaving,” you protest. “I'm doing a good job of it.”
Kenma shoots you a sour look. “Not doing a good job of being mindful. Do you ever think about what comes out of your mouth?”
“Huh? All I asked was if you wanted to smash on your birthday. We can have the team join us if you want.”
Kuroo coughs. Kenma looks ready to vanish again. In fact, you think he’s turning transparent as you speak.
“…I’m not asking too much, am I,” he mutters.
“Sooo.” You shuffle in disappointment. “No smash?”
Here, Kenma gains his full opacity back.
“YES, we can PLAY SUPER SMASH BROTHERS! Don’t be so weird about it. Besides, I’d… never say no to you…”
The bowling pins stop their squabbling and look over, understanding finally dawning on their faces.
“You couldn’t have clarified that earlier?” Yaku demands.
And here, Kenma deflates, spent from raising his voice and interacting in general. He slinks back into his corner. Kuroo inhales, and lets out another sigh like the old man he is.
“Now that that’s over with,” he says, grinning faintly, “ready for some birthday smash?”
“Always,” you say warmly.
“Do not,” Yaku warns. “Let’s get out of here already. Lev, Tora, up!”
“Um, Yaku-san.”
“Tora, what now?!”
“I need to tie my other shoe.”
